Campaign Atrice for review [Archive] - Wizards Community

Campaign Atrice for review [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Ikuraut
07-18-07, 11:18 PM So I'm creating my own campaign and wanted some constructive criticism. I realize some of the things in this maybe out of time line but eh, just bear it in mind and try not to focus too closely on it. I made it in like one night of writing and its my first time dming.
Its an evil campaign were the PC's are go on covert missions to start off with to collect lost artifacts from the 2 armies of the last war. General idea is the deities that convinced these 2 armies to attack are actually not working together but were racing to get an artifact from the defending faction that they could not just step down and pick up themselves due to the nature of it. You could do this as a good campaign too but it would probably be better to do it during the war than after it.
Any suggestions on it are welcome but please don't be too harsh.

Introduction and general knowledge
You all live in the country of Atrice. A mostly rich country that had defended off enough attacks from the barbarians to the south that they gave up long ago, after a long while of no fighting the country started to turn in on itself. The country lost all sense of itself and its leaders turned to petty squabbles dividing it into factions. Eventually civil war broke out when 2 of the factions turned to worshiping Vecna (The Maimed Army) and Lolth (The Shadow of hate), and thirsted for more power via grabbing The Shinning Throne to offer up to the gods. The war lasted 120 years and caused much suffering throughout the kingdom.
During the war the nation to the north named Glasscon was consumed by the ever moving glacier fields that plagued the area. The Glassiens moved south to the uninhabited swamplands in the north east. The Glassiens were accepted after the war because of the efforts fighting “The Maimed Army”, and repelling them from The Shining Throne. The war ended when the Rebels were pushed back into smaller regions that were so uninhabitable or just so unpleasant that none of the other factions wanted them.
Since the 2 factions that started the war could not be defeated but just held back the opposing armies became deeply entrenched and were at a stand still for 4 years. After that time a treaty was proposed to stop the suffering of the people. The treaty caused all the factions armies to disperse most of their troops and limited the number of troops anyone faction could have at time (with exception to border guards for opposing countries).
During the rebellion the loyal factions distinguished them selves and earn their right to sign the treaty. Now the county has a king who over sees the council of seven (the council is comprised of the leaders from each faction). As of late the council is short 3 members due to accidents in their palaces that resulted in death. The king is over seeing the governing of these lands till a new Barren can be appointed.
There is one member on council that was not appointed the rank of Barren. Iccarus was given a seat on the council due to the fact that his fleet defended the entire coast during the rebellion as it was assaulted by endless waves of pirates attacking trade ships and barbarian armies that crafted ships to get around the cliffs to the south.

BRIEF HISTORY OF THE DIFFERENT LANDS AND FACTIONS

The land of the Shining Throne: Now the capitol Atrice. Formerly ruled by Cradous the governing of the city was taken over by King Salazar one year ago when Cradous fell from one of the governors palace walls on one of his evening walks. The entire territory is one gigantic City with a huge mountain in the Center. The mountain is one enormous peak that extends directly into the sky. At the top is The palace of the Shining Throne were the High king sits. The trail leading up has many switch backs and is heavily fortified with troops. During the 120year war the army of The Maimed managed to reach the mountain and burn the wood structures of the city surrounding but could not make the push up the mountain. The entire city was evacuated to the palace and mountain and used as militia and bowmen to help defend their lives and their king. The population is so mixed and intermingled that you can find almost any race there.

Vecna’s Thorn: A proud community of elite warriors. The country has no exports and no farmers or blacksmiths besides those that were not original inhabitants. The country was named such after the maimed army completely took over the surrounding areas but try as they might they could not break into the region. During the war they were on the defensive the entire war but not 1 city fell. The population is primarily composed of dwarves.

Driden: The country was named such because at the beginning of the war it was inhabited entirely of wood elves. Not long after the war began Lolth used her magic on the elves to turn them into drow. After the entire population was turned into drow she converted half of the populace into driders. The driders now dominate the political infrastructure of the country and the drow are treated as second class citizens.

Green lands and The Protecting cliff: This land is primarily composed of High elves. They have been the defenders of the southern border for years and kept their post defending the southern border for the entire duration of the war while still managing to send forces to help fight the Driden to the north. They are fierce woodsmen and are almost impossible to defeat in any part of the green lands. They made their capitol in a huge tree in the center of the forest there. They have a great distaste for any of the driden.

Antragia: A Great Plains land with various settlements. The land fell quickly to the Driden armies during the war all accept for the capitol. The driden had a hard time reaching the walls of their great city due to the enormous amount of Ballista’s and Catapults mount on the ramparts. The half orc’s that make up around 50% of the population made a great front line when the webs of the driders started to creep over the walls. Blood was spilled heavily on both sides but in the end the city still stood. The other half of the populace is composed of humans. The 2 races get along very well surprisingly. Probably has something to do with the great half orc ale. Strong stuff.
Ikuraut
07-19-07, 02:31 PM Bump
Kelmourne
07-19-07, 02:56 PM Driden seems like a very cool faction, with driders at the top of the social ladder, opposite of what they normally are. Also the depressing, war-torn history of the world gives it a great feel. Good job.
Ikuraut
07-20-07, 12:47 AM Thanks. Got any tips for what else to do with it? Like I said I made it in one night got on a good tangent with it then kinda got a little writers block. Kind the same thing that happens with my short story writing lol.
Forfeit
07-20-07, 10:33 AM You need to read more books.

Your world is as standart as toiled paper.
Kelmourne
07-20-07, 02:36 PM There is nothing wrong with standard, it is your type of thinking that got us Ebberon and "IN MY OPINION" Eberron is a disease that is eating DnD from the inside out. Unique doesn't mean it has to be all psionics, or prehistoric, or with gunpowder, or with all new races. You can do something that nobody else has done without having a gimick of some form. My suggestion is make some custom races for your world.
Forfeit
07-20-07, 02:53 PM I dont like psionics, but a cyberpunk setting is awesome.

Also, enough with the LOTR copies. It has been decades since Tolkien made Middle Earth, and that means there should be more original stuff released.

And you cant beat Tolkien and The Silmarilion.
Kelmourne
07-20-07, 02:56 PM Actually, I've never played in or wanted to play in a middle earth clone. Do you know why? THERE IS PRACTICALLY NO MAGIC AT ALL, A CORE PART OF DND. I DONT THINK THERES A SINGLE CLONE OF MIDDLE EARTH IN PUBLICATION RIGHT NOW. Gimicks ruin campaign settings.
Forfeit
07-20-07, 03:18 PM Tolkien created elves and dwarves as we see them right now. Not to mention hobbits (halflings)

Well, at least until people started creating 2 thousand diferent "subraces" for elves. Just because they feel they would like to have a cute female elf with blue hair.
Kelmourne
07-20-07, 03:42 PM I think there was a debate about this in the races section of these boards and someone found out that DnD has published just as many dwarven sub-races as they have elven ones. Also the surplus of sub-races is only a problem when you decide to include ALL of them in your campaign setting at once. about 4 is a good number.
Ikuraut
07-21-07, 12:33 AM wow this thread changed drastically. Um not trying really to revamp the game as a whole remember this is my first time being a DM. Secondly I'm only trying to set mood and setting. Like the tip about a custom race. Maybe I'll make a race thats full of Taurics that had banned together to make a society but then they started breeding and coming out with so many different species of tauric that no one has any idea what the base 2 creatures were.
Ikuraut
07-21-07, 04:42 AM And um sorry I guess. Didn't really think it was a LOTR clone. Don't even see were you got that from.

I dont like psionics, but a cyberpunk setting is awesome.

Also, enough with the LOTR copies. It has been decades since Tolkien made Middle Earth, and that means there should be more original stuff released.

And you cant beat Tolkien and The Silmarilion.
Kelmourne
07-23-07, 02:01 AM Like the tip about a custom race. Maybe I'll make a race thats full of Taurics that had banned together to make a society but then they started breeding and coming out with so many different species of tauric that no one has any idea what the base 2 creatures were.

Sounds like a good idea. I think it would be cool if there were alot of sorcerors in this race because of all the cross breeding that might have brought in sorcery.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Ikuraut 07-18-07, 11:18 PM	So I'm creating my own campaign and wanted some constructive criticism. I realize some of the things in this maybe out of time line but eh, just bear it in mind and try not to focus too closely on it. I made it in like one night of writing and its my first time dming. Its an evil campaign were the PC's are go on covert missions to start off with to collect lost artifacts from the 2 armies of the last war. General idea is the deities that convinced these 2 armies to attack are actually not working together but were racing to get an artifact from the defending faction that they could not just step down and pick up themselves due to the nature of it. You could do this as a good campaign too but it would probably be better to do it during the war than after it. Any suggestions on it are welcome but please don't be too harsh. Introduction and general knowledge You all live in the country of Atrice. A mostly rich country that had defended off enough attacks from the barbarians to the south that they gave up long ago, after a long while of no fighting the country started to turn in on itself. The country lost all sense of itself and its leaders turned to petty squabbles dividing it into factions. Eventually civil war broke out when 2 of the factions turned to worshiping Vecna (The Maimed Army) and Lolth (The Shadow of hate), and thirsted for more power via grabbing The Shinning Throne to offer up to the gods. The war lasted 120 years and caused much suffering throughout the kingdom. During the war the nation to the north named Glasscon was consumed by the ever moving glacier fields that plagued the area. The Glassiens moved south to the uninhabited swamplands in the north east. The Glassiens were accepted after the war because of the efforts fighting “The Maimed Army”, and repelling them from The Shining Throne. The war ended when the Rebels were pushed back into smaller regions that were so uninhabitable or just so unpleasant that none of the other factions wanted them. Since the 2 factions that started the war could not be defeated but just held back the opposing armies became deeply entrenched and were at a stand still for 4 years. After that time a treaty was proposed to stop the suffering of the people. The treaty caused all the factions armies to disperse most of their troops and limited the number of troops anyone faction could have at time (with exception to border guards for opposing countries). During the rebellion the loyal factions distinguished them selves and earn their right to sign the treaty. Now the county has a king who over sees the council of seven (the council is comprised of the leaders from each faction). As of late the council is short 3 members due to accidents in their palaces that resulted in death. The king is over seeing the governing of these lands till a new Barren can be appointed. There is one member on council that was not appointed the rank of Barren. Iccarus was given a seat on the council due to the fact that his fleet defended the entire coast during the rebellion as it was assaulted by endless waves of pirates attacking trade ships and barbarian armies that crafted ships to get around the cliffs to the south. BRIEF HISTORY OF THE DIFFERENT LANDS AND FACTIONS The land of the Shining Throne: Now the capitol Atrice. Formerly ruled by Cradous the governing of the city was taken over by King Salazar one year ago when Cradous fell from one of the governors palace walls on one of his evening walks. The entire territory is one gigantic City with a huge mountain in the Center. The mountain is one enormous peak that extends directly into the sky. At the top is The palace of the Shining Throne were the High king sits. The trail leading up has many switch backs and is heavily fortified with troops. During the 120year war the army of The Maimed managed to reach the mountain and burn the wood structures of the city surrounding but could not make the push up the mountain. The entire city was evacuated to the palace and mountain and used as militia and bowmen to help defend their lives and their king. The population is so mixed and intermingled that you can find almost any race there. Vecna’s Thorn: A proud community of elite warriors. The country has no exports and no farmers or blacksmiths besides those that were not original inhabitants. The country was named such after the maimed army completely took over the surrounding areas but try as they might they could not break into the region. During the war they were on the defensive the entire war but not 1 city fell. The population is primarily composed of dwarves. Driden: The country was named such because at the beginning of the war it was inhabited entirely of wood elves. Not long after the war began Lolth used her magic on the elves to turn them into drow. After the entire population was turned into drow she converted half of the populace into driders. The driders now dominate the political infrastructure of the country and the drow are treated as second class citizens. Green lands and The Protecting cliff: This land is primarily composed of High elves. They have been the defenders of the southern border for years and kept their post defending the southern border for the entire duration of the war while still managing to send forces to help fight the Driden to the north. They are fierce woodsmen and are almost impossible to defeat in any part of the green lands. They made their capitol in a huge tree in the center of the forest there. They have a great distaste for any of the driden. Antragia: A Great Plains land with various settlements. The land fell quickly to the Driden armies during the war all accept for the capitol. The driden had a hard time reaching the walls of their great city due to the enormous amount of Ballista’s and Catapults mount on the ramparts. The half orc’s that make up around 50% of the population made a great front line when the webs of the driders started to creep over the walls. Blood was spilled heavily on both sides but in the end the city still stood. The other half of the populace is composed of humans. The 2 races get along very well surprisingly. Probably has something to do with the great half orc ale. Strong stuff.
Ikuraut 07-19-07, 02:31 PM	Bump
Kelmourne 07-19-07, 02:56 PM	Driden seems like a very cool faction, with driders at the top of the social ladder, opposite of what they normally are. Also the depressing, war-torn history of the world gives it a great feel. Good job.
Ikuraut 07-20-07, 12:47 AM	Thanks. Got any tips for what else to do with it? Like I said I made it in one night got on a good tangent with it then kinda got a little writers block. Kind the same thing that happens with my short story writing lol.
Forfeit 07-20-07, 10:33 AM	You need to read more books. Your world is as standart as toiled paper.
Kelmourne 07-20-07, 02:36 PM	There is nothing wrong with standard, it is your type of thinking that got us Ebberon and "IN MY OPINION" Eberron is a disease that is eating DnD from the inside out. Unique doesn't mean it has to be all psionics, or prehistoric, or with gunpowder, or with all new races. You can do something that nobody else has done without having a gimick of some form. My suggestion is make some custom races for your world.
Forfeit 07-20-07, 02:53 PM	I dont like psionics, but a cyberpunk setting is awesome. Also, enough with the LOTR copies. It has been decades since Tolkien made Middle Earth, and that means there should be more original stuff released. And you cant beat Tolkien and The Silmarilion.
Kelmourne 07-20-07, 02:56 PM	Actually, I've never played in or wanted to play in a middle earth clone. Do you know why? THERE IS PRACTICALLY NO MAGIC AT ALL, A CORE PART OF DND. I DONT THINK THERES A SINGLE CLONE OF MIDDLE EARTH IN PUBLICATION RIGHT NOW. Gimicks ruin campaign settings.
Forfeit 07-20-07, 03:18 PM	Tolkien created elves and dwarves as we see them right now. Not to mention hobbits (halflings) Well, at least until people started creating 2 thousand diferent "subraces" for elves. Just because they feel they would like to have a cute female elf with blue hair.
Kelmourne 07-20-07, 03:42 PM	I think there was a debate about this in the races section of these boards and someone found out that DnD has published just as many dwarven sub-races as they have elven ones. Also the surplus of sub-races is only a problem when you decide to include ALL of them in your campaign setting at once. about 4 is a good number.
Ikuraut 07-21-07, 12:33 AM	wow this thread changed drastically. Um not trying really to revamp the game as a whole remember this is my first time being a DM. Secondly I'm only trying to set mood and setting. Like the tip about a custom race. Maybe I'll make a race thats full of Taurics that had banned together to make a society but then they started breeding and coming out with so many different species of tauric that no one has any idea what the base 2 creatures were.
Ikuraut 07-21-07, 04:42 AM	And um sorry I guess. Didn't really think it was a LOTR clone. Don't even see were you got that from. I dont like psionics, but a cyberpunk setting is awesome. Also, enough with the LOTR copies. It has been decades since Tolkien made Middle Earth, and that means there should be more original stuff released. And you cant beat Tolkien and The Silmarilion.
Kelmourne 07-23-07, 02:01 AM	Like the tip about a custom race. Maybe I'll make a race thats full of Taurics that had banned together to make a society but then they started breeding and coming out with so many different species of tauric that no one has any idea what the base 2 creatures were. Sounds like a good idea. I think it would be cool if there were alot of sorcerors in this race because of all the cross breeding that might have brought in sorcery.