| Post/Author/DateTime | Post |
|---|---|
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 12:45 AM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 12:49 AM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 12:54 AM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 01:05 AM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 01:19 AM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 04:36 AM | ... |
| taradusis03-18-07, 03:27 PM | I have read thru it twice,have found no obvious errors.You might want to avoid small hard to read fonts and should consider breaking up text with show buttons?What do you feel you need help with? |
| KeshFerrar03-18-07, 07:09 PM | I like the use of fluff, and flavor text. You have a lot of content that I'm still trying to absorb. Within the opening text there appear to be a few names that are, in my opinion, outrageous (Amanusisonsörëgörëögrëörëwrathroar). The language system is a little much for the average gamer in my opinion. And I'd have to agree with Taradusis: its hard to read due to text size and large posts. If you break it up it will be easier to digest. You've listed the races, and described two, but I still don't have a good feel for the world. What's the focus of the world? Who are the power players? Just a few thoughts. In the words of the governator: I'll be back. |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 08:43 PM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 08:50 PM | A note on names: Amanusi-son-sore-gore-ogre-roar-wrath-roar, is merely a combination, like in the names of Buddhist sutras, of many individual and easily pronounceable terms. |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 09:21 PM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 09:23 PM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 09:24 PM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 09:42 PM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 10:06 PM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 10:09 PM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-18-07, 11:31 PM | Much new stuff to look at, I know the maps could be prettier, but I'm working with limited technology, and at least I think they're generally fairly good from a descriptive perspective. |
| MaxXensar03-19-07, 04:05 AM | Okay, still more fooling around with it to try and achieve some sort of semi-coherent presentation--how am I doing? |
| MaxXensar03-19-07, 03:52 PM | Kravaean Humani subrace added |
| MaxXensar03-19-07, 04:10 PM | Xurrac... |
| MaxXensar03-19-07, 08:40 PM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-20-07, 06:37 PM | bump |
| KeshFerrar03-20-07, 08:11 PM | The race and nation sections are all very well detailed. You've written a lot of solid information -- my compliments. RE formatting: The maps you had before were simply too large. I believe the sample pics, and the links you had first were the way to go. Also the sections: Rathor, Arbelon, and Kravaens still have some joined paragraph problems. RE Gods: You list a lot of gods, and occasionally a god is associated with a particular race. However, are the gods worshiped by all the nations and races? Do they separate into pantheons? You may want to separate them into such groupings. You also mention gods when you talk about the races. Perhaps that and the nation sections are a better place to mention the gods. RE Magic: You tease us with short descriptions, we need more about all the types of magic. And how did the dragonblood magic come about? RE Ogres: I dunno about their blood being "radioactive." Perhaps just having their blood be "dragon cursed" and "tainted" would be enough; instead of messing with the real world physics problems of the blood being radioactive. Overall, I would definitely agree from your opening statements: the world has a darker feel to it. But the emotion and eastern styling work well together and keep it a cohesive world. I keep getting brief flashes of scenes from the Chinese mythologies I've read plus some Samurai Jack thrown in for extra flavor. Hope all that helps. |
| MaxXensar03-20-07, 09:33 PM | ... |
| KeshFerrar03-21-07, 07:28 PM | The Pantheon I listed consists of the 59 deities worshipped in the Twin Empires, which is one of the main Humani nations (it consists of two Kravaean kingdoms that used to form one nation and were sundered by a civil war between the factions advocating the dominance of different genders)... RE Deities: If the deities are primarily worshiped in one location then I would make that note in the above entry. IMO, in your master document you may just want to move the deities into their respective kingdom. That or include ALL the deities in one section and separate them as best you can by the kingdoms they hold sway in. Since you have a decently developed product, I'll put on my editing hat. I'll bring up points that confuse me or strike me as a little "odd," but I'll keep the brainstorming to a minimum. Of course, if I'm not really helping just tell me. And if you need ideas or a sanity check in a certain area, just bring it up. |
| MaxXensar03-21-07, 09:30 PM | ... |
| MaxXensar03-21-07, 09:49 PM | Two more notes: I'm just posting from pre-made files I have on my computer, so I can probably explore any subject of particular interest readily. Also, I'm very open, if any one has any interest, in trying to develop 3.0-3.5 house-rules game mechanics for this setting; I stopped playing D&D frequently before the move to 3.0, but I have a large collection of the books, if a less-than adequete knowledge of the rules. If anyone would like to develop some of the professions into classes or prestige classes, or do write-ups for the races, or items etc..., I would be very interested in such a project. I imagine this world being very high-power in flavor, so slightly-munchkinish classes/races are welcome. A note though, though I'm sure its pretty obvious from what I've stated, I am going to publish from this material at some date, so I want the right to use any new ideas that might get developed in the process of fleshing out game mechanics in my stories. |
| MaxXensar03-22-07, 04:12 PM | moved to another thread |