Everyone poops? [Archive] - Wizards Community

Everyone poops? [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
fudgethepolice
12-17-07, 08:28 PM In Dungeons and Dragons you must consume rations to survive,in real life you also have to eat and drink to survive,but in real life you poop,and in Dungeons and Dragons you don't.Me and my friend had a long talk about this subject,we thought your character would have a metabolism,bladder and prostate size,depending on how much you eat/drink your metabolism and bladder size would determine how long after you have to poop/slash pee after you eat/drink.

Any ideas or advice on how do include pooping and peeing a my game?
Thanks-fudgethepolice:the Politically Incorrect Gamer.
fudgethepolice
12-17-07, 08:33 PM As I had to explain on my last thread Retarded people in a campaign this is NOT a troll's thread,and I am not a troll,I only slay trolls!
Artifact
12-17-07, 09:46 PM As I had to explain on my last thread Retarded people in a campaign this is NOT a troll's thread,and I am not a troll,I only slay trolls!

I'm willing to take you at your word that you're not a troll. You do seem adept with many of the same tactics however. That's not a jab, just an honest observation on my part.

As to topic of this thread: Concentrate first on establishing a series of global weather patterns for your campaign setting before focusing on minutae like peeing and pooping in game. Ever hear of pissin' in the wind? Assuming you're serious (which I doubt at this point, despite your claims to the contrary), that's as serious an answer as I can dignify the question with.
Millenia
12-17-07, 10:25 PM The simplest way would be, I think, Con check versus DC 10 two hours after eating/drinking. For every hour after the second, the check gets -1. This continues until the character fails a check, at which point the character needs to do their business.

Really, really simplistic and not at all representative of real life issues, but.... Eh. Not bad for someone who spent all of ten seconds coming up with mechanics.
Kelmourne
12-18-07, 12:05 AM DnD is a fantasy fiction game so I don't think your losing much by not bothering to include it. When designing castles and dungeons however, you should include bathrooms.
Eldritch_Id
12-18-07, 01:11 AM Here're some other considerations:
The feat Endurance would have to give a bonus.
There would have to be a new spell system.
At least four new diseases I can think of off the top of my head (thank you Purify Food & Water!)
PrC's
Rules suppliments for the autohypnosis and concentration skills.
New magical items (think Roll of Endless Paper)
New monsters (finally Dogma's Golgothian demon gets his dues). The CR for the monkey stat block in the MM would have to be adjusted also.
Jedi_Master_Trobon
12-18-07, 03:16 AM Here're some other considerations:
The feat Endurance would have to give a bonus.
There would have to be a new spell system.
At least four new diseases I can think of off the top of my head (thank you Purify Food & Water!)
PrC's
Rules suppliments for the autohypnosis and concentration skills.
New magical items (think Roll of Endless Paper)
New monsters (finally Dogma's Golgothian demon gets his dues). The CR for the monkey stat block in the MM would have to be adjusted also.

OMG someone needs to make the D&D U&D (Urination and Defication) suppliment. Come on one of you third party publishers.
Kelmourne
12-18-07, 12:30 PM OMG someone needs to make the D&D U&D (Urination and Defication) suppliment. Come on one of you third party publishers.

I wouldn't put it past them :)
fudgethepolice
12-18-07, 07:35 PM DnD is a fantasy fiction game so I don't think your losing much by not bothering to include it. When designing castles and dungeons however, you should include bathrooms.

Why would you design bathrooms if nobody needed to use them?
Tsochar
12-19-07, 04:06 AM As I understand it, the rules just assume that excretion occurs during the downtime between encounters. In a typical adventuring day, there are 8 hours walking/fighting, 8 hours downtime, and 8 hours sleeping. It's pretty easy to hold it in for the walk until the downtime, so long as you empty the tank before and after. Honestly, unless you're the kind of control freak that demands every single minute be accounted for, you can just assume it happens offscreen. Take television. People can seem to go days without going to the bathroom, but only because they go when nobody's looking, much like in real life. Can you remember the last time a friend of yours definitely went to the bathroom? I can name one I see every day, but I can't definitely say he's gone to the bathroom in the past two months, since he never excused himself to use the facilities in my presence since that time. So yeah, forget poop. If your characters are exploring a castle, eventually they find a bathroom. They explore a dungeon where goblins live, eventually they find a crevice that goes downhill into a rather smelly lower space. That's all you need.
CryoSilver
12-22-07, 12:47 AM FATAL has a well developed system for defecation and urination. By virtue of the fact that FATAL has it, it's a bad idea.
Evil DM Mk3
12-22-07, 12:26 PM My one and only response is this link and a snide comment on mechanics for choking being absent too. (http://goblinscomic.com/d/20070120.html)
NorthWind
12-22-07, 04:38 PM As Kelmourne and Tsochar said, DnD is a fantasy game. It's assumed that these things happen off - screen, because they aren't exciting.

In books, for example, characters rarely, if ever, use the bathroom during the narrative, and that's because the readers wouldn't really care to read about how Bilbo had a well-appointed, comfortable bathroom which he decided to use presently. Readers don't need to be bothered by that sort of thing. Same principle applies in DnD. Unless something happens while a PC is sleeping, eating, or in the toilet, it's skipped.
Taren
12-22-07, 05:08 PM So yeah, forget poop. If your characters are exploring a castle, eventually they find a bathroom. They explore a dungeon where goblins live, eventually they find a crevice that goes downhill into a rather smelly lower space. That's all you need.

just forget it altogether, since in teh time period the fantasy game is set in there isn't indoor plumbing anyway.
annoyinglizardvoice
12-22-07, 06:25 PM Why would you design bathrooms if nobody needed to use them?

Because someone might need to go in there to do something covert and possibly get themselves killed in the process. It's the only time anyone goes near the lavies in 24 after all.
The only time I ever bother paying attension to a character's bowls in a game is when a player rolls a natural 1 when saving against dragon-fear!:dragon:
Dog_O_War
12-27-07, 05:04 PM I always just assumed that they went "off camera" at a convienient moment. The only thing I wonder about is what they're wiping with....:yuck:
LeeAlucard
12-27-07, 08:07 PM Personally, I must agree that in a typical adventure with downtime, one need not worry.

HOWEVER, if they decide to camp out in the dungeon, and there's not a bathroom nearby, you might want to have them work out some sort of system... do they bring a chamber-pot with them, for example?

I would hope they would bring a chamber pot. Think about it, it would make a devastating splash weapon. (Ugh.) More effective than holy water. :D

The only thing I wonder about is what they're wiping with...

Well, it says in the PHB that paper is made from cloth fibers... however, at 4sp a sheet, I think it might be better to use leaves...
Etarnon
12-28-07, 05:46 PM Oh this is simple.

Just focus on the bathroom activities when it's most hilarious.

Ninja in the samurai's toilet kind of stuff.
Lord Karsus
12-29-07, 10:05 AM Ninja in the samurai's toilet kind of stuff.

-Heh, I've done something like that once. An assassin snuck in the PC's room to attack them during the middle of the night. Long story short, he rolls a natural one on his sneak attack, and winds up falling loudly waking up and alerting everyone in the room. To mask his escape, he grabbed the chamberpot and threw it's contents at the nearest PC, jumping out a nearby window.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
fudgethepolice 12-17-07, 08:28 PM	In Dungeons and Dragons you must consume rations to survive,in real life you also have to eat and drink to survive,but in real life you poop,and in Dungeons and Dragons you don't.Me and my friend had a long talk about this subject,we thought your character would have a metabolism,bladder and prostate size,depending on how much you eat/drink your metabolism and bladder size would determine how long after you have to poop/slash pee after you eat/drink. Any ideas or advice on how do include pooping and peeing a my game? Thanks-fudgethepolice:the Politically Incorrect Gamer.
fudgethepolice 12-17-07, 08:33 PM	As I had to explain on my last thread Retarded people in a campaign this is NOT a troll's thread,and I am not a troll,I only slay trolls!
Artifact 12-17-07, 09:46 PM	As I had to explain on my last thread Retarded people in a campaign this is NOT a troll's thread,and I am not a troll,I only slay trolls! I'm willing to take you at your word that you're not a troll. You do seem adept with many of the same tactics however. That's not a jab, just an honest observation on my part. As to topic of this thread: Concentrate first on establishing a series of global weather patterns for your campaign setting before focusing on minutae like peeing and pooping in game. Ever hear of pissin' in the wind? Assuming you're serious (which I doubt at this point, despite your claims to the contrary), that's as serious an answer as I can dignify the question with.
Millenia 12-17-07, 10:25 PM	The simplest way would be, I think, Con check versus DC 10 two hours after eating/drinking. For every hour after the second, the check gets -1. This continues until the character fails a check, at which point the character needs to do their business. Really, really simplistic and not at all representative of real life issues, but.... Eh. Not bad for someone who spent all of ten seconds coming up with mechanics.
Kelmourne 12-18-07, 12:05 AM	DnD is a fantasy fiction game so I don't think your losing much by not bothering to include it. When designing castles and dungeons however, you should include bathrooms.
Eldritch_Id 12-18-07, 01:11 AM	Here're some other considerations: The feat Endurance would have to give a bonus. There would have to be a new spell system. At least four new diseases I can think of off the top of my head (thank you Purify Food & Water!) PrC's Rules suppliments for the autohypnosis and concentration skills. New magical items (think Roll of Endless Paper) New monsters (finally Dogma's Golgothian demon gets his dues). The CR for the monkey stat block in the MM would have to be adjusted also.
Jedi_Master_Trobon 12-18-07, 03:16 AM	Here're some other considerations: The feat Endurance would have to give a bonus. There would have to be a new spell system. At least four new diseases I can think of off the top of my head (thank you Purify Food & Water!) PrC's Rules suppliments for the autohypnosis and concentration skills. New magical items (think Roll of Endless Paper) New monsters (finally Dogma's Golgothian demon gets his dues). The CR for the monkey stat block in the MM would have to be adjusted also. OMG someone needs to make the D&D U&D (Urination and Defication) suppliment. Come on one of you third party publishers.
Kelmourne 12-18-07, 12:30 PM	OMG someone needs to make the D&D U&D (Urination and Defication) suppliment. Come on one of you third party publishers. I wouldn't put it past them :)
fudgethepolice 12-18-07, 07:35 PM	DnD is a fantasy fiction game so I don't think your losing much by not bothering to include it. When designing castles and dungeons however, you should include bathrooms. Why would you design bathrooms if nobody needed to use them?
Tsochar 12-19-07, 04:06 AM	As I understand it, the rules just assume that excretion occurs during the downtime between encounters. In a typical adventuring day, there are 8 hours walking/fighting, 8 hours downtime, and 8 hours sleeping. It's pretty easy to hold it in for the walk until the downtime, so long as you empty the tank before and after. Honestly, unless you're the kind of control freak that demands every single minute be accounted for, you can just assume it happens offscreen. Take television. People can seem to go days without going to the bathroom, but only because they go when nobody's looking, much like in real life. Can you remember the last time a friend of yours definitely went to the bathroom? I can name one I see every day, but I can't definitely say he's gone to the bathroom in the past two months, since he never excused himself to use the facilities in my presence since that time. So yeah, forget poop. If your characters are exploring a castle, eventually they find a bathroom. They explore a dungeon where goblins live, eventually they find a crevice that goes downhill into a rather smelly lower space. That's all you need.
CryoSilver 12-22-07, 12:47 AM	FATAL has a well developed system for defecation and urination. By virtue of the fact that FATAL has it, it's a bad idea.
Evil DM Mk3 12-22-07, 12:26 PM	My one and only response is this link and a snide comment on mechanics for choking being absent too. (http://goblinscomic.com/d/20070120.html)
NorthWind 12-22-07, 04:38 PM	As Kelmourne and Tsochar said, DnD is a fantasy game. It's assumed that these things happen off - screen, because they aren't exciting. In books, for example, characters rarely, if ever, use the bathroom during the narrative, and that's because the readers wouldn't really care to read about how Bilbo had a well-appointed, comfortable bathroom which he decided to use presently. Readers don't need to be bothered by that sort of thing. Same principle applies in DnD. Unless something happens while a PC is sleeping, eating, or in the toilet, it's skipped.
Taren 12-22-07, 05:08 PM	So yeah, forget poop. If your characters are exploring a castle, eventually they find a bathroom. They explore a dungeon where goblins live, eventually they find a crevice that goes downhill into a rather smelly lower space. That's all you need. just forget it altogether, since in teh time period the fantasy game is set in there isn't indoor plumbing anyway.
annoyinglizardvoice 12-22-07, 06:25 PM	Why would you design bathrooms if nobody needed to use them? Because someone might need to go in there to do something covert and possibly get themselves killed in the process. It's the only time anyone goes near the lavies in 24 after all. The only time I ever bother paying attension to a character's bowls in a game is when a player rolls a natural 1 when saving against dragon-fear!:dragon:
Dog_O_War 12-27-07, 05:04 PM	I always just assumed that they went "off camera" at a convienient moment. The only thing I wonder about is what they're wiping with....:yuck:
LeeAlucard 12-27-07, 08:07 PM	Personally, I must agree that in a typical adventure with downtime, one need not worry. HOWEVER, if they decide to camp out in the dungeon, and there's not a bathroom nearby, you might want to have them work out some sort of system... do they bring a chamber-pot with them, for example? I would hope they would bring a chamber pot. Think about it, it would make a devastating splash weapon. (Ugh.) More effective than holy water. :D The only thing I wonder about is what they're wiping with... Well, it says in the PHB that paper is made from cloth fibers... however, at 4sp a sheet, I think it might be better to use leaves...
Etarnon 12-28-07, 05:46 PM	Oh this is simple. Just focus on the bathroom activities when it's most hilarious. Ninja in the samurai's toilet kind of stuff.
Lord Karsus 12-29-07, 10:05 AM	Ninja in the samurai's toilet kind of stuff. -Heh, I've done something like that once. An assassin snuck in the PC's room to attack them during the middle of the night. Long story short, he rolls a natural one on his sneak attack, and winds up falling loudly waking up and alerting everyone in the room. To mask his escape, he grabbed the chamberpot and threw it's contents at the nearest PC, jumping out a nearby window.