Post/Author/DateTime	Post
dragor_shadowfury 04-11-07, 11:20 AM	well, i've been making my first creation myth here, and now I wan't to know whats good and whats bad... and where I have made grammar mistakes and such things... but i ask you to be a little gentle with the last part, as english isn't my native language. In the beginning, before time as we know it was born, there were only the primal forces of the multiverse. The four elements, opposed in pairs, water and fire, air and earth and the two energies, life and death or, as it was later to be known, more correctly unlife. These were gathered in globes, arranged in a 4 dimensional space, these globes would later be known as the elemental and energy planes. In the centers of these globes was the hearts of power. These hearts were not real hearts like the one in your chest, but they were the heart of their forces indeed. The heart of fire was an orb of flames. It was so extremely hot that even though it was not substantial it was still hard to touch, if you could get to it without getting burned to ash. The heart of water was a pool inside the enormous ocean of the elemental plane of water. The heart of air was the eye of a gigantic hurricane, raging for eternity on the plane of air. The heart of earth was a vein of metal, a unique kind of metal, more resilient and durable than anything else, even the scales of the most ancient dragons. The heart of life was a wonderful and beautiful gem, made from the very energy of life, so strong that even the slightest touch could heal the direst wound and cure the worst wound. It was so powerful that it could even restore the dead to life and grant eternal youth. The heart of unlife was a globe of complete nonexistence, so deep that even the slightest glance could make the looker blind, and its touch would kill anyone, god and mortal alike, but it would only harm the living. These planes floated around in the void, along with the incarnum. This final primal force, from which souls are made, was special in two ways. At first it had no heart, but instead it was a part of each of the other hearts, its presence is also the secret of the power of the hearts. At second the incarnum had no opposite, yet. For a millennium the planes were dormant, although the word millennium had no meaning back then because there was no time. Then something happened, the elemental planes began moving together, and as things began to change time were born, the world had become 5 dimensional. After some time the elemental planes began touching each other, first it was only the non opposite, fire to air, fire to earth, earth to water ect. This brought new things into being, magma, ash, mud, steam ect. More time passed and finally the opposed elements met. This meeting resulted in a big explosion, but this explosion was not of destruction but of creation. In this great explosion, this flash of creation, our world was made, but it was not the way it is today, there was no life on it, no humans, no animals, no plants. Now the plane of life, of positive energy, was moving towards the others. First it touched the elemental planes, and gave life to small pieces of the elements, but still these elementals had no soul, and remained as inanimate as plants. Later the positive energy came to touch the material plane, our world. This brought life to it, first in the shape of plants. As time passed the incarnum began to merge with the life forms. First it merged with the elementals, giving them sentience. Then it merged with some brewing lives on the material plane, the animals was created. The life on the material plane seemed to find new shapes every day, and when life was only one year old the first race of true intellect was born. T he new creatures formed a language, kothogan, and shaped a society. They called themselves Mbwun, The Orange Clan in our tongue. They were curious about the world, and thanks to the excellent mental capabilities they were gifted with they learned swiftly. They knew of the presence of souls and the existence of incarnum, and the sought to learn how to manipulate it, not to gain power, but simply to better understand the world. They did not completely succeed in their quest, but they found a way to draw power from it in unison with the elements, through elaborate gestures and words of power. The art of arcane magic was born. Mbwun became very learned, and thus very powerful, for back then death was yet unknown by the world, the lifespan of every creature was eternal, and were someone slain he would just be reincarnated. They expanded their knowledge of magic, and in the end they learned to control positive energy. They did not know what use there was for this new power, but they shaped beautiful orbs of life, one was owned by each family. Now finally the last of planes was on the move, the negative energy plane was moving towards the others. First it touched the elemental planes. It could not take effect on the elementals, for they were linked too closely to their respective hearts of power, so their life spans remained eternal. Instead, as a matter of the nature of the plane, to try to quench its opposite, it created the first undead, creatures animated with negative energy instead of positive. These creatures were made for the sole purpose of taking life. The first were the necromentals, undead elemental creatures with the dreadful ability to turn a slain elemental into a necromental. Finally the negative energy plane reached our world, and the Mbwun now experienced significant change. Overnight the diseases were born, and life changed greatly. Suddenly one who died would no longer reincarnate and, with exception of the Mbwun who had their orbs of life, creatures now had a limited lifespan. The new world were life was not eternal bred a new concept, the struggle for survival and thus evolution. At that time something new was brewing. A new connection between the elements and energies came to be, and new humanoid races were born. First came the elves, born from the air. Next were the dwarves, proud sons of the earth. The third was the lizardmen, children of water. And finally came the gnomes, spawn of fire. In addition was the spawn of elemental combination the giants emerging in the mountains. But the elements were no longer alone in the creation of life. Evolution, the combination of life and death, had its take too. The result was a primitive race of upstanding primates, the forefathers of humanity. With more races wanting the resources and the danger of actual death, strife, anger and hate quickly became known. But from the dark, light shined, for as a counterweight to hate love was created by the laws of nature. Now people began breeding across the races which brought new races into being. A crossbreed between the dwarves and giants created ogres these did in turn breed with humans to create orcs. Ogres and dwarves brought hobgoblins, and hobgoblins and orcs made bugbears. Elves and gnomes made halflings and halflings and orcs bred goblins. The crossbreed of lizardfolk and goblins made kobolds. As the population grew bigger the resources grew even fewer, and soon war was brewing. In the meanwhile the orange clan had experimented with this force of death that had come into the world they could now utilize it to harm their enemies. At first it appeared as if the orange clan would win, but seeing as they were taking up a loosing position, the other humanoids banded together. Now, as the orange clan was outnumbered, the two sides were even in power, but that was to change soon. The downfall of the orange clan was spelled by two things. First, the orange clan was breeding slowly, and as such the effect was more severe when a soldier fell. Second, it was discovered that you could slay a whole family of Mbwun by destroying their orb of life. These two things made that soon the Mbwun was outnumbered one to a thousand. This made the Mbwun turn to their magic, and driven by desperation they delved into the use of positive and negative energy alike to find a way to bolster their ranks and to remove their dependence on the orbs of life. This led to many new discoveries, and eventually they found the art of true necromancy, the creation of the undead. The inventor of this new technique was a powerful mage named Munchlord, he was a master of the art of necromancy, and he wanted power. His power grew rapidly those days, the reason for it was not known. For many years the undead was used by the Mbwun to even the score, and only few suspected the effect on the soul of the reanimated. Munchlord also found another secret of magic, a way to avoid the dependence on the orbs of life. Munchlord used a similar trick in which he invested his soul in a ring and, as a part of the process, transformed himself into an undead creature, Munchlord had invented lichdom. A few years passed, and the Mbwun leader was slain, killed by an elven assassin. As it was Mbwun tradition, 30 days were to pass and then the new leader would be elected by the people. Usually the choice was easy, and the most knowingly, capable and powerful of the Mbwun was elected, but this time things were different. Munchlord and Dramuk was evenly matched in power and influence, and for the 30 days of lack of leadership they struggled to win the majority of the people and the votes. On the 26th day something important happened, a Mbwun scholar, whose name is long forgotten, had found out that the existence as a skeleton or zombie or other unwilling existence as an undead tormented the soul. Even worse he discovered that Munchlord and his four apprentices had known all along, for by creating the undead they established a link to the victim’s souls. This crippled Munchlord’s effort to gain dominance. Dramuk won the election, and Munchlord and his apprentices were banished for their actions. This was both the wisest and the most foolish action Dramuk would ever take. By banishing Munchlord he spelled the downfall of the Mbwun, which would ultimately lead to their near-total extinction. But had he not expelled Munchlord, Munchlord’s power would have overgrown his, and in the end he would gain complete domination in a reign of terror. Munchlord and his apprentices left the boundaries of the material plane and traveled to the plane of negative energy with his army of the undead. The remaining Mbwun fought the best they could, but eventually they were driven back and finally in the summer in the year 859 from the Mbwun calendar their capital was besieged. I will now tell the tale of the last stand of the orange clan, seen from the eyes of Dramuk. “We were surrounded by a vast army of humanoids. They outnumbered us by more than one to five thousand. We knew that we would not win, our only chance for survival was convincing the enemy that it would be to costly to destroy us. They attacked at dawn. They knew that besieging us for a long time would do them no good we had the magic to sustain us should we run out of supplies. The first wave was repelled by our archers alone. Then they bombarded our walls with magonels and trebuchets, but not for long. Our mages invoke spells of destruction to take out their artillery. Then they sent in their siege towers, they had stationed a battle mage on top of each one. The sole purpose of those mages was to disturb the magic of our own magicians, to make some of the tower able to reach the walls. I hastened to the south wall to stand against the enemies in the tower. Many soldiers swarmed from the tower, but we took them down as they came. The whole enemy army was attacking now. They streamed up the walls, climbing on the walls or on ladders in a disorganized rabble. We fought for long on the walls before we were forced to fall back to the keep because they had broken the gate. We met in the keep courtyard. We were few now and knew that we were doomed. We were determined to fight till our dying breath. Then the enemy struck. They came through the gate, trying to overrun us. We fought with spell and claw for hours. My friends and family fell around me, until only I was left, fighting alone to hold the enemy from the interior keep where my orb of life was stored. But an enemy mage slipped by me, I saw him when it was too late. I was done for, but I had one strike left in me. I invoke my most mighty spell, fire rained from the sky, it slew every enemy not inside a building, and it ruined most of the city. Tens of thousands was slain in mere seconds.” The Mbwun fell, and Dramuk was taken capture. The mage had his own ends with only knocking Dramuk unconscious with the orb. He had hoped to gain power and knowledge from Dramuk. His hopes and goals would never be fulfilled, but his action would save humanity later on. Many years passed and the alliance between the humanoids fell apart and war broke out among them. The humans were taking up a loosing position, as they had suffered many casualties in the war with the orange clan, and because they were surprised by a large force of goblinoids when the war broke out. The goblinoids forces were camped in human settlements, before the alliance was truly broken. The goblinoids had planned the betrayal beforehand, and struck the humans at the same time. This resulted in the humans being pushed back to their last stronghold where Dramuk was held prisoner. For all these years Dramuk had used what unbound magic he had left to increase his own knowledge and power. When the tidings of the battle were worst the human king decided to strike a deal with Dramuk. Dramuk would be released, but in return he would help the humans to win the battle. Dramuk agreed to the bargain, and following appeared on the battlefield. He devastated the goblinoid army, and in the process got linked to so many souls, both those saved and those slain, that he got a powerful connection to incarnum itself. This connection made him more than mortal, and brought him even more power. He transcended the barriers of the known planes and moved to somewhere beyond in order to create himself a new home. The humans now perceived him as a god, and they were right, for he was the first to pass beyond mortality and attain godhood. In order to let the prayers of his faithful priests to him he created a connection between the material plane and the area that would later house the outer planes. This connection would later be known as the astral plane. Dramuk quickly discovered that he could use his connection with incarnum to grant his faithful servants power. With this new power of faith, the divine magic, the humans recovered. By creating the astral plane Dramuk also did another thing. He allowed the faith of the mortals to pass into the void and create things out there simply by the strength of the faith. This caused the creation of the outer planes and the outsiders: celestials, fiends and those in between.
Delfedd 04-11-07, 08:46 PM	Well, one thing that would be helpful would be putting in paragraphs. I Don't know... it's just easier to read then. I'm not sure about four dimensional space though.
dragor_shadowfury 04-12-07, 04:02 AM	could you explain paragraphs... sorry, but i haven't picked up that word to my mental dictionary yet. about the 4D space it was about the best way i could think of to tell of planar relations when every plane is 3D.
Delfedd 04-12-07, 06:15 AM	Well When you write longer stories, you should split up your thoughts. Like this. Maybe make a heading like this Heading And tell what this section is about. So basically, once you put in more spaces and things, I'll be able to read it better.
dragor_shadowfury 04-12-07, 06:44 AM	I've been editing a bit... better now?