Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Novacat 03-06-06, 05:18 PM	These take a little while to make, just because of formatting and whatnot, but there are SO many jokes you can fit into a single class. 1. The Noob HD: d12 Skills: None. Level BA Fort Ref Will Special 1 0 0 0 0 Aura of the Noob, Special 2 0 0 0 0 Absolutely Amazing Luck, Outdated Book 3 0 1 1 -1 4 0 1 1 -1 Confounded Luck 5 0 1 1 -1 Wrong Game, Puppy-Dog Eyes +1 6 0 2 2 -2 Unbearable Hygiene 7 0 2 2 -2 I Brought a Friend... 8 0 2 2 -2 Stupendously Dense, Outdated Book 9 0 3 3 -3 Touch of Idiocy 1/Game 10 0 3 3 -3 Uncanny Cluelessness -2, Puppy-Dog Eyes +2 11 0 3 3 -3 Penalty Feat, Greater Aura of the Noob 12 0 4 4 -4 13 0 4 4 -4 Penalty Feat 14 0 4 4 -4 Outdated Book 15 0 5 5 -5 Penalty Feat, Uncanny Cluelessness -4, Puppy-Dog Eyes +3 16 0 5 5 -5 17 0 5 5 -5 Penalty Feat 18 0 6 6 -6 Touch of Idiocy 2/Game 19 0 6 6 -6 Penalty Feat 20 1 6 6 -6 Uncanny Cluelessness -8, Puppy-Dog Eyes +4, Outdated Book Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: None. What a noob. Aura of the Noob [Su]: Whether people like you or not, they are driven to help you. Any gamer within 10ft of the noob must make a will save (DC 10 + noob's CHA penalty) or answer all gaming questions the noob asks. Special: You're special. That's what your mom always told you, anyways. Modify all your Ability Scores such that bonuses become the opposite penalties. For example, if you have a 13 in INT (a +1 bonus), change the score to a 9 (a -1 penalty). If you have an 18 in CHA (a +4 bonus), you now have a 2 (a -4 penalty). Low scores are not raised. Odd numbers remain odd, and even numbers remain even. This change is permanent, and cannot be undone or dispelled by any effect. Absolutely Amazing Luck [Ex]: The less you know about the game, the better you do. At 2nd level, whenever you roll a natural 1, treat the roll as a natural 20. Outdated Book: At 2nd level, and every 6 levels thereafter, you acquire a book to use in the game. Problem is, it's either grossly outdated, or for the wrong game. Confounded Luck [Ex]: As you become more accustom to the game, you start to lose your edge. Starting at 4th level, any natural 20 the noob rolls is treated as a natural 1. This ability cancels and overrides Absolutely Amazing Luck. Wrong Game: You gain a +40 bonus on all knowledge skills. However, whenever you succeed in a knowledge check, you are given information ONLY relevant to a different game; one that either no one else has heard of, or plays. Puppy-Dog Eyes [Ex]: Add this indicated number to the DC of any Diplomacy check made to ask the noob to leave the game. If the check fails by the indicated amount, treat it as a success, but the asker feels really mean for it. In neither case are you forced to actually leave the game. Unbearable Hygiene [Ex]: When was the last time you showered? All gamers within 15 feet of the noob must make a Fortitude Save (DC 10 + the noob level) or flee for 1d4 rounds. Creatures with Stench or the Unbearable Hygiene ability are immune to this effect. I Brought a Friend...: This ability grants you a cohort, such as the one granted by the Leadership feat. The cohort granted by this ability, however, is always of the noob class, and has all ability scores at least as bad as your own. This ability does not grant followers. Stupendously Dense [Ex]: At 8th level, the noob can no longer succeed in any Sense Motive check. Touch of Idiocy [Su]: Before each game, the noob is affected as though by a Touch of Idiocy spell. At 18th level, the effect is doubled each time. Uncanny Cluelessness: The noob can no longer pay any attention to what is happening around him. He takes the indicated penalty on all Spot and Listen checks for anything the players or DM are doing. Penalty Feat: The noob loses a feat at 11th level, and every odd level thereafter. Remove feats in the order they were gained, remembering that feats for which you no longer qualify do not function. Greater Aura of the Noob [Su]: No one can stand to be around you any longer. At 11th level, any gamer within 30 feet of the noob must immediately attempt to flee unseen. If spotted by the noob, the effect is dispelled, though the subjects remain shaken unless they succeed on a Will Save (DC = 5 + noob level).
supernerd8916 03-06-06, 05:22 PM	....................... wow...................
Dench 03-06-06, 05:23 PM	damn, and I thought the commoner was a bad choice!
WhiteRaven810 03-06-06, 05:28 PM	Actually wouldn't the Noob have a high Fortitude. After all no matter how many times you smite them they come back, stronger then ever.
Novacat 03-06-06, 06:52 PM	Actually wouldn't the Noob have a high Fortitude. After all no matter how many times you smite them they come back, stronger then ever. Good point... I'll give them d12 Hit Dice for that. They are resilient little buggers...
TheLastOfTheFallen 03-06-06, 07:05 PM	I Brought a Friend...: This ability grants you a cohort, such as the one granted by the Leadership feat. The cohort granted by this ability, however, is always of the noob class, and has all ability scores at least as bad as your own. This ability does not grant followers. maybe I'm reading this wrong, but I don't get it - what do you mean by "has all ability scores at least as bad as your own?"
Novacat 03-06-06, 07:10 PM	maybe I'm reading this wrong, but I don't get it - what do you mean by "has all ability scores at least as bad as your own?" No ability score of the cohort can be higher than the corresponding ability score of the noob itself. This was instated after many complaints of brokenness and is largely agreed upon to be a necessary caveat for the sake of game balance. On a related note, we have 1 class down, only 1000 to go! Post, people, post! They can be anything from full-featured 20-level base classes to 3-level prestige classes or anything in between.
tunagolem 03-06-06, 07:23 PM	:schemes: :ahem: I'm going to play it. :plotting: :evillaugh
Ayodrinn the Silver 03-06-06, 08:51 PM	The Archer...... 'Nuff said.
Novacat 03-07-06, 08:56 AM	Bump... This thread CAN'T die with only one.
Neverwrong 03-07-06, 09:03 AM	The Sweeper! Requirements: Exotic weapon proficency: Broom Profession: Sweeper Ranks 10 Special: Must have joined The Sweepers academy and trained for at least 3 years. Bab: Poor. Will Saves: Good 1 level: Dust like a demon. AHH!! Class! Will finsish later.!!
SilvercatMoonpaw 03-07-06, 10:00 AM	Actually wouldn't the Noob have a high Fortitude. After all no matter how many times you smite them they come back, stronger then ever. Good point... I'll give them d12 Hit Dice for that. They are resilient little buggers... You know, as someone who has never played the game but is looking to try, I feel really off-put by these posts. :raincloud I consider the Noob class itself funny (if still offensive), but I have to seriously consider whether any game I try to join will want to bother with me. :raincloud Is it just you, or are all game this dismissive of new players?
Elemental_Master 03-07-06, 11:04 AM	Zombie of the Nerd hit die:none it has 1 hitpoint skills 2+ Bab: Poor Will: Poor Ref.: None Fort.: Poor This zombie is of a nerd. If targeted by any attack it automatically plays dead. If attacker continues attack the Zombie of the Nerd Dies only to come back to life. Within 2 rounds. Srry short on time and thought. But now were up to 2!
Novacat 03-07-06, 09:00 PM	You know, as someone who has never played the game but is looking to try, I feel really off-put by these posts. :raincloud I consider the Noob class itself funny (if still offensive), but I have to seriously consider whether any game I try to join will want to bother with me. :raincloud Is it just you, or are all game this dismissive of new players? *sigh* Time to define "noob" once again... A noob no longer means merely "one who is new". The term "newbie" might be a more apt noun for that usage, but "noob" has become a whole different beast. Noob is a mindset, a personality, a behavioral pattern which brings those around the noob to believe he/she is genuinely stupid, not just inexperienced. I have absolutely zero problem with newbies (everyone was a newbie at some point). I have a problem with stupid people (which most noobs are). One symptom of being a noob is getting grossly offended when called one. The Noob class that I made in this thread was as much representative of the excessively stereotypical geek gamer as it was anything else, and therefore it was a joke at my (and everyone else on this board's) expense. If you can't take a joke, stay out of the humor threads. On a side note: I call my friends "noob" all the time. Hell, I named my dog Noob.
JulesCARV 03-07-06, 10:22 PM	Hehe. Have you read Terry Pratchett's Thief of Time? That had a pretty tough sweeper in it. Monk of Immolation Prerequisites: Must have bolt of fire as a class feature. Must have flurry of blows as class feature Must be lawful chaotic. Special: Must walk across a bed of hot coals before being admitted Abilities -- basically, like a gestalt monk-pyrokineticist. In addition, pyrokineticist weapons (bolt of fire, fire lash) are treated as monk weapons, subject to flurry of blows.
HaikenEdge 03-07-06, 11:12 PM	Pansy Hit Dice: d4 Requirement Feat: Run Special: Must have used a full-round action to move away from a foe in 20 or more encounters. BAB: Poor Saves: Reflex high, Fort and Will low 1 Flee (x2), pansy 2 Flee (x3), scream like a girl 3 Flee (x4), scared to death Class Features: Flee (Ex): Every level in pansy taken, character's base speed doubles. However, the pansy only gains the benefit of this ability when taking a full-round action to move away from all foes. Pansy (Ex): A pansy always fails saves against fear effects. Moreover, whenever a pansy fails such a fear effect, he must spend his next round taking a full-round action to move away from the source of his fear. Scream like a Girl (Ex): Whenever a pansy takes a full-round action to move away from a foe, all said foes within 30 ft. must make a Will save (DC 10 + class level + Charisma modifier) or be deafened for 1d4 round. This is a sonic, mind-affecting effect. Scared to Death (Ex): Whenever a pansy rolls a natural 1 on a Will saving throw against a fear effect, he must make a Fortitude saving throw against the same DC. If he fails, he falls unconscious; if he fails by 10 or more, he dies.
Kresalak 03-07-06, 11:19 PM	The Complete Warrior Samurai.
E_rocrogue13 03-09-06, 03:09 PM	you should have to make him sleep longer as a noob would on their first adventure they fall asleep in the middle of the most important battle!!!
Elemental_Master 03-09-06, 04:19 PM	The deaf stingy Bard with ADHD nuff said in so many ways
JulesCARV 03-09-06, 07:19 PM	Supplementalist: The supplementalist is a base class found in a recently published WotC supplemental book costing $80. It is the only notable feature of the book. The class cannot be found anywhere else: Hit die: d12 Class Skills: All Skill points at 1st level: (8 + int modifier) x 4 Skill points at each additional level: 8 + int modifier Table: the Supplementalist: Level BAB Fort Ref Will Special Spells per Day 0 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th MPL PP/Day 1st +1 +2 +2 +2 Feat 5 3 1 2 2nd +2 +3 +3 +3 Feat 6 4 1 6 3rd +3 +3 +3 +3 Feat 6 5 3 2 11 4th +4 +4 +4 +4 Feat 6 6 4 2 17 5th +5 +4 +4 +4 Feat 6 6 5 3 3 25 6th +6 +5 +5 +5 Feat 6 6 6 4 3 35 7th +7 +5 +5 +5 Feat 6 6 6 5 3 4 46 8th +8 +6 +6 +6 Feat 6 6 6 6 4 4 58 9th +9 +6 +6 +6 Feat 6 6 6 6 5 3 5 72 10th +10 +7 +7 +7 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 4 5 88 11th +11 +7 +7 +7 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 5 3 6 106 12th +12 +8 +8 +8 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 6 4 6 126 13th +13 +8 +8 +8 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 3 7 147 14th +14 +9 +9 +9 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 4 7 170 15th +15 +9 +9 +9 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 3 8 195 16th +16 +10 +10 +10 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 4 8 221 17th +17 +10 +10 +10 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 3 9 250 18th +18 +11 +11 +11 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 4 9 280 19th +19 +11 +11 +11 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 9 311 20th +20 +12 +12 +12 Feat 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 9 343 Class Features: Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: The Supplementalist is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, all armor, and all shields. Supplementalists do not risk arcane spell failure from casting in armor. Spells: Supplementalists automatically know every spell, arcane and divine, from every caster, including clerical domain spells, paladin spells, wizard/sorceror spells, etc. These spells can be cast spontaneously. A supplementalist must have at least one mental ability score (intelligence, wisdom, or charisma) equal to 10 + spell level to be able to cast such spells. The supplementalist receives bonus spells from all three mental ability scores. Power points/day: The Supplementalist has a number of power points per day given on Table: The Supplementalist. The supplementalist also receives bonus power points from all three mental ability scores. Powers: The Supplementalist automatically knows every power on the psion/wilder list, the psychic warrior list, and the psion disciplines. A supplementalist must have at least one mental ability score equal to 10 + power level. Bonus Feats: Every level, a supplementalist may pick any feat for which he qualifies as a bonus feat.
Novacat 03-09-06, 09:16 PM	Supplementalist Lawlz!
Vennettai 03-09-06, 10:46 PM	hat thrower (like odd job) i dont know the specifics but i though about it while watching whose line is it anyway. would be something like weapon profficiancy tophat some wierd stuff like that
Ruhl-Than Sage 03-10-06, 01:24 AM	Rump Ranger (ranger substitution levels) Favored Enemy: Rump Nuff' said.
SilvercatMoonpaw 03-10-06, 05:29 PM	*sigh* Time to define "noob" once again... A noob no longer means merely "one who is new". The term "newbie" might be a more apt noun for that usage, but "noob" has become a whole different beast. Noob is a mindset, a personality, a behavioral pattern which brings those around the noob to believe he/she is genuinely stupid, not just inexperienced. I have absolutely zero problem with newbies (everyone was a newbie at some point). I have a problem with stupid people (which most noobs are). One symptom of being a noob is getting grossly offended when called one. The Noob class that I made in this thread was as much representative of the excessively stereotypical geek gamer as it was anything else, and therefore it was a joke at my (and everyone else on this board's) expense. If you can't take a joke, stay out of the humor threads. On a side note: I call my friends "noob" all the time. Hell, I named my dog Noob. You should realize that sometimes a joke is too much to take. I said I thought it was funny, and I meant it. You have defined a stupid person using the medium that they have made a fool of themselves in. Now that you have clarified what "nnob" means, I feel much better. "If you can't take a joke, stay out of the humor threads." Well, I didn't know what you meant by noob. I felt that I couldn't just ignore my problem.
Salty_Boy 03-10-06, 07:42 PM	Now presenting the 'Rules Lawyer', a Prestige Class in 5 parts (read: levels). RULES LAWYER BAB: As rogue. Saves: Will good. Hit Die: d6 Requirements: To qualify to become a Rules Lawyer, a character must fulfill all of the following: Race: Any non-DM. Alignment: Any lawful. Skills: Knowledge (The Rules) 9 ranks; Perform (oratory) 4 ranks Feats: Weapon Focus and Weapon Specialization with one of the three Core Books. Class Features: All of the following are class features of the Rules Lawyer: Weapon and Armor Proficiency: A Rules Lawyer is proficient with all simple and leatherbound splat-books, denim armor, and binder shields. Detect Loophole (Sp): At 1st level, a Rules Lawyer gains the ability to detect rules loopholes within a 60 foot cone as the spell detect evil. Bore-atory (Su): At 2nd level, a Rules Lawyer with 5 or more ranks in Perform (oratory) can use his innate ability to make lengthy diatribes as a weapon against his rule-bending foes. Twice per session, as a standard action, the Rules Lawyer can activate this ability, requiring all fellow players to succeed on a Will save (DC 10 + ½ character level + the Rules Lawyer's Intelligence modifier) or immediately become distracted from the game for as long as the Rules Lawyer continues speaking and for 5 rounds afterwards. The player must be able to hear the Rules Lawyer to be affected. Bore-atory is an enchantment (compulsion), mind-affecting ability. Aura of Insanity (Su): Beginning at 3rd level, a Rules Lawyer radiates an aggravating aura every time he opens his mouth. This aura requires all DMs within 20 feet of the Rules Lawyer to make a Fortitude save (DC 10 + ½ character level + the Rules Lawyer's Intelligence modifier) or become dazed. Every DM within the area of effect that succeeds at this save is allowed one Attack of Opportunity against the Rules Lawyer with any thrown weapon (improvised or otherwise). Lawyer Apotheosis: At 5th level, a Rules Lawyer fully realizes his nerd heritage and takes on the DM template. He gains a number of players equal to 2 + the Rules Lawyer's Charisma modifier and begins a new campaign 1d4+1 weeks after attaining the DM template. If any of these players have adventured with the Rules Lawyer before he gained the DM template, they immediately gain a level in Rules Lawyer even if they do not meet the prerequisites for the class. Congratulations on crafting your own personal Hell. Ex-Rules Lawyers: A Rules Lawyer who adopts the DM template before reaching 5th level loses all class abilities and cannot gain more levels as a Rules Lawyer. (Note: I myself am a notorious Rules Lawyer, so this is all in good fun, especially since this class is based largely on experience.)
supernerd8916 03-10-06, 10:23 PM	you forgot to make him eeeeeeeeevil. muahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Sh0ck-Wave 03-11-06, 04:24 AM	Shouldn't the n00b also have a constant -20% XP penalty ?? And also be able to cast Expeditious Retreat at will as a free action. Maybe instead of n00b call him 'Characterally Challanged'
Evil DM Mk3 03-11-06, 04:29 AM	Variant paladin: Paladin of Lawfull Stupid. Changes: Alignmetn must be Lawfull Stupid. Class abilites: Gains Smite everything rather than smite evil and Detect Everything even slightly other than 100% perfectly Lawfull Good or Lawfull Stupid rather than Detect Evil. Takes a -1 int penalty at level 1 and every 4 levels after. Negative will saves.
ideasmith 03-16-06, 09:44 PM	Leprechaun Hit Die: d4 Requirements: To qualify to become PrC Name, a character must fulfill the following criteria: Skills: 11 ranks Bluff; 8 ranks Balance, Jump, Sleight of Hand Feats: Acrobatic, Agile Spells: Prestitigitation, Feather Fall, Invisibility Special: Must have secret hoard of at least 1,000 gold pieces. Class Skills: PrC Name class skills (and key attribute for each) are Balance (Dex), Bluff (Cha), Jump (Str), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Spellcraft (Int), and Use Magic Device (Cha) Skill Points at Each Level: 6 + Int modifier. Level BAB Fort Ref Will ------------------------------ 1 +0 +0 +2 +2 2 +0 +0 +3 +2 3 +1 +1 +3 +2 4 +0 +0 +4 +3 5 +1 +1 +6 +3 Level Special Abilities Spells ------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 Levitate at Will +1 Spellcaster Level 2 Amazing Leap +1 Spellcaster Level 3 Abundant Step +1 Spellcaster Level 4 Timeless, Blarney +1 Spellcaster Level 5 Slippery Mind +1 Spellcaster Level Class Features: Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Leprechauns recieve no extra weapon or armor proficiencies. Levitate at Will (Su): May levitate as the spell at will Amazing Leap (Su): Uses Dex in place of Str on Jump checks. Can Jump while levitating as if Jumping from solid ground. Abundant Step (Sp): As the Monk Ability Timeless Body (Sp): As the Druid Ability Blarney (Sp): The Leprechaun recieves a +10 bonus an all Diplomacy checks. Slippery Mind (Sp): As the Rogue Ability
Zombayz1 03-16-06, 10:11 PM	*Reads classes* *SEPUKU!*
MadApe19 03-17-06, 11:34 AM	Hehe. Have you read Terry Pratchett's Thief of Time? That had a pretty tough sweeper in it. Funniest book I've ever read. RULES LAWYER See Endarire's Red Mage. :)
Elbethamore 03-17-06, 01:33 PM	The Cowardly Tank (a Pansy variant) The Cowardly Tank would be a formidable combatant if not for his unwillingness to put himself in harm's way. 5-lvl PrC HD12 Skills 2+ Good BAB, Fort good, Ref poor, Will poor Prereq: BAB +7, Power Attack, Dodge Cowardly Blow: At 1st level, the Cowardly Tank can make a single melee attack, at his highest attack bonus, as a free action when before using the withdraw action. I'm so Uber: Starting at 3rd level, the Cowardly Tank deals double damage on all melee attacks. This stacks with everything. Abandon Your Posts!: Starting at 3rd level, upon taking one or more points of hit point damage, the Cowardly Tank flees with his full movement rate for 10 rounds +1 round/class level. The spellcasters can fend for themselves. This effect persists even if the Cowardly Tank is healed. Flee!: At 4th level, the Cowardly Tank gains a bonus to his base movement of +10 when under the effect of "Abandon Your Posts!" This bonus increases to +20 at 5th level. I Helped!: At 5th level, the Cowardly Tank can use a move equivalent action to teleport back to the scene of combat only after all foes are defeated to receive his share of the loot. This action interrupts and ends the "Abandon your posts" effect. He gets a +5 on diplomacy checks to persuade the other party members to give him an even share. This was inspired by an actual player in my group.
Pandaemoni 03-17-06, 03:19 PM	The Sonambulist Has all the powers/hit die/hit points/feats/etc. of a Warrior of level equal to his Sonambulist level, but only while sleep walking. If you wake him up, he reverts to a regular lvl 1 commoner. Unfortunately, taking any damage wakes him up.
supernerd8916 03-17-06, 04:13 PM	Mamas Boy prerequisites spells: wish 1: tantrum 1/day 2: tantrum 2/day 3: tantrum 3/day 4: tantrum 4/day 5: Improved tantrum Tantrum: every day a mamas boy can throw a tantrum for a number of rounds equal to his constitution modifier +3. everyone within a 30ft radius must make a DC: 20 will save or give him whatever he wants every round. you get a +4 to this save for every age catagory younger than the one throwing a tantrum and a -4 for every age catagory older than the one throwing a tantrum. His mother is immune to this effect. Improved Tantrum: every round you are in a tantrum, you may get afree wish spell. no exp cost, no money, no downtime. His mother is immune to this effect
Krug_the_smasher 03-17-06, 05:20 PM	Champion of all that is 733t HD: 2d20 per level Skills per level: 10+int modifier Skills: All BAB: double fighter Saves: All Good Anti-|\|00b Aura: At level 1, any opponent who comes within 1000 feet of the Champion must succeed on a fortitude save DC 20+all positive ability modifiers, or instantly vye to be the Champion's Cohort. Ability Boost: At every level, The Champion gains +2 to all abilities. Smite Un-733t: At level 5, number of times per day equal to your Class level x 100, The Champion may add the sum of all positive modifiers to his attack and damage rolls. This is added to the Bab, so it can be deduted via power attack. Any creature struck by this attack that does not have a level in this class must succeed on a Fortitude save equal to the damage taken, or instantly be considered p0wned. A p0wned creature takes -100 to all skill checks, attack rolls, saves, and any other roll of a d20. Noobify: At level 10, an unlimited times per day, a Champion may perform a touch attack that permentantly and irrevocably changes all of subject creatures racial hit dice and class levels into levels in 'The Noob' class. This cannot be reversed, even by the powers of an over-deity.