Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Master_Vega 08-19-07, 12:59 AM	Pretty simple. They can be clichéd, or original, short or long as they're fun an you could seriously use them in a game. I'm not really desperate for material, but I think this could be a fun/helpful thread. ^_^ 1. "There are times when one must become a monster, to rid the world of other monsters." 2. "Glory? You mean that stuff about bards singing of your exploits, fair maidens fainting at your mention, and assassins itching to put you on their resumes?"
Terjon of the Blue Rose 08-19-07, 02:59 AM	trying for a direct quote 3. It turns out adventure is that brief period of intense fear in between long stretches of boredom. 4. No one ever mentions in the stories just how much time "heros" spend sleeping under haystacks, in the rain and mud, on the side of the road. for less direct 5. Of course all life is priceless. Yours, however, has no value to me at the moment. 6. I like bad guys... without them I wouldn't get to wander around looting corpses and still get called a hero.
Fithero 08-19-07, 04:29 AM	7. "you want me to slay the dragon AND free the captives? Oh come on...." 8. "hey guys, ever heard about the theory of collateral damage? Makes things so much easier" 9. "'Out of the kindness of my heart?' Lady, your barking up the wrong tree..."
Orchomenos 08-19-07, 02:52 PM	10. They asked us to bring back the princess, but did they precised in how many chunks? 11. Yes, Please is the magic word. As in "Please, don't hurt me!" The only problem is I don't believe in magic! 10. But they had massive-destruction weapons...
Fithero 08-19-07, 08:20 PM	10. But they had massive-destruction weapons... ROFL!!!!!:rofl:
JellyPooga 08-19-07, 09:46 PM	13. Sod this. I'm going home, unless you raise my fee...What!? A guy's gotta right to a little danger pay.
Curuinor 08-20-07, 12:42 AM	14. I cannot be concise; I cannot be succinct; I must use semicolons!
djg1026 08-20-07, 01:37 AM	15. The word accident comes to mind...
Tacitus_Acheros 08-20-07, 02:06 AM	16. (after villain is slain, to the party paladin) "Keep laughing, pally. If he'd made a better offer we'd be looking down on your corpse." 17. "Yeah, like I'd choose this lifestyle. Basically, every time I try to live a normal life, some crazy **** happens to me and before I know it I'm helping some lunatics stop another lunatic's half-assed plot to destroy the world." 18. "Good and evil are the philosophical equivalents of team uniforms: they're there to let you know which people are okay to whale on, but remove the labels and everyone's pretty much the same." 19. "No, we're retreating. There's plenty of stuff I'm willing to kill for--jewels, vengeance, O'Malley's greatsword--but I haven't yet found something I'm willing to die for." 20. "You're right, a good man wouldn't kill a disarmed opponent. But I hate to break it to ya--I'm not that good." 21. (during planning session) "Quit gabbing about our moral obligation to stop these guys and get to the loot." 22. "Violence may not be able to solve all of life's problems, but so far I haven't been in a situation a good sword couldn't get me out of." 23. (to villain's corpse) "That is what happens when your first strike is a snappy remark instead of a stab." 24. (interrupting bad guy's evil monologue) "Excuse me, can we just skip to the part where we kick your ass?" 25. "I don't need a cause, just a paycheck. Which reminds me, escorting those prisoners back to town is going to cost extra." 26. "Honor and valor are well and good, but sometimes a knife in the dark is worth a thousand swords at dawn." 27. "Killing means never having to say you're sorry." 28. "Look, if you want them taken alive, you better damn well specify ahead of time!" 29. (during villain's monologue) "Man, I hate the mouthy ones...if I were him, we'd all be dead already." 30. "If you morons are representing the forces of good, I'm over to the dark side so fast..." 31. "Good, bad--I'm the guy with the sword." (substitute your character's weapon of choice as needed)
Staple 08-20-07, 02:31 AM	32: (Dialogue) Commoner: You're a monster! Villian: (Points at Ogre cohort) No, he's a monster. I'm a very bad man. 33: (Dialogue) Guard: What's the password? Villian: (Holds up decapitated fellow's head) He didn't say. 34: I've killed the young, the old, the beautiful, the hideous. I've killed the weak and the strong, the innocent and the guilty. I have killed mothers and their children, priests and their worshipers, soldiers and civilians. And never once have I shown mercy; I don't intend to start now. 35: Your grave's that-a-way. 36: (After striking foe) So, open casket or closed?
Lyinginbedmon 08-20-07, 03:01 AM	37. Do you know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed. You can look it up later. 38. I don't care if you pay, I don't care if you're righteous, and I don't care if it's the noble thing to do. I'm not doing anything until I'm at least over the limit!
Mad_Jack 08-20-07, 03:53 AM	39. (To the palladin after being chewed out for cutting someone's throat in a fight) "How can I call myself a hero? Because the villains are all lying on the floor over there."
cog_n_taz 08-20-07, 08:29 AM	here's one from Zelrath, my warforged warlock (I'll dig up his background if you guys like, it might make more sense then, it's somewhere on these boards...) when the paladin criticised him for, essentially, having no consciensce (in fact, he has a bucketload and it's killing him, but never mind that.) "Some words cut deeper than any sword, and it seems these words come all too easily to those who have not been forced to see the things I have seen, to do the things I have done, by a will beyond their own. You may be right to see me as the monster you call me, and it may be true that I feel no pity, no guilt, no remorse...yet to lose these feelings is to grant a power far greater than you can imagine. It can grant the power to see and destroy as I see fit, yet this is not the path I chose. No, the true power that my path grants is the power to see the truth as it is, to know what must be done, and to do what no other will do in that knowledge, to do what must be done. And that, my friend, is a power that you shall never have."
Fithero 08-20-07, 10:34 AM	41: "You lost me at 'we can't pay'..." 42: "I don't care that they were charmed into attacking me... You attack me, you die. Simple as that!" 43: "'Surrender?' Is that supposed to mean something in orcish?" 44: "Waa waa. Boo. Hoo." (When someone expects you to be shocked, appauled or upset.)
Master_Vega 08-20-07, 12:16 PM	45. (Chuckling after slaying a villain during his speech) "What was that last part? I thought you said we'd die here." 46. (After killing witnesses to an act that absolutely must stay secret) "I don't like this anymore than the rest of you, but I hate anyone stopping us even more... Now let's get moving before anyone else shows up." 47. "I hate it when they fall off cliffs! What if some giant eagle snatches them, or they fall on a gelatinous cube! ... wait a minute. (smirk) How much does a gelatinous cube cost?" (That'll ruin someone's day. Falling hundreds of feet only to have your fall broken by an acidic monster.)
Orchomenos 08-20-07, 10:38 PM	48. Sphinx: What creature is walking on four legs at dawn, on two legs at noon, and on three legs at dusk? Bad Ass hero: Ever see a sphinx walking on a Jaw Trap? You can be sure he will quickly step on two legs, and he'll finish the day on three! :rofl:
Satanoth 08-21-07, 08:32 AM	49:"Death is a point of view, You don't know how really fun is too send someone there" :D 50:"What about my pale skin, pointy teeth and cold touch!? Your colorful skin is filled with pimples and a undesireable beeting!" 51:"Do you want to slay those Corpses!? Give your blood, your sister's and your mother and no death is guaranteed" 52:"The Evil and Good definition is absurd, everybody is evil in other's point of view, what entertain us!? Violence my friends, Violence as long as there it is, i don't care"
Master_Vega 08-21-07, 02:59 PM	53. "We can't kill him in his sleep because 'we're better than that'? Well that's genius! Let's all get ourselves killed in a fair fight because we're better than him!"
Radijs 08-21-07, 06:02 PM	54. No money, no loot, no service. 55. If violence was your last resort you failed to resort to enough of it.
green_girl 08-22-07, 02:49 AM	56. "We can't retreat? Haven't you noticed that 'veteran' sounds like 'better run?'"
djg1026 08-22-07, 05:30 PM	57. After killing a hostage. "He got in the way, What did you expect to happen?"
Satanoth 08-23-07, 05:38 PM	58: "By death i was re-born, by death i survive, dead is my body" 59: "For your lord's you have to slay me!? is that a joke!?them...for fun i shall slay you!!!!" 60: "The gods are like little kids playing Mr. Universe; they creates us and send us in in this wretched planet to kill each other to see which is the superior race" 61:"ah!!!, do you think that scares me!? I show you something scary and by the end of it i promise you will beg for me to cut your head off!" 62:"Kingdoms are built by strength of arms not stupid political advances. just slay the king and oblige the people to serve you or chop their heads off for every insult"
spyderfreek 08-24-07, 05:25 PM	63. "You can either give me the (insert quest item here), or I can take it. Either way, you're dead." 64. "I don't care if you're not the one in charge, you're in my way." (SWING WEAPON) 65. Engraved on weapon hilt: In case of emergency, swing other end at hostile target. 66. Combant One: "On the count of three swing at each other. One, two...GRUNT." Combatant Two: "I count faster."
Fithero 08-25-07, 08:34 AM	(when youve got a foe down to 1-10 or even neg hit points) 67. I could kill you, hell id even enjoy it, but ive got a better idea. *Open a portal to one of the layers of hell and push foe through, then close the portal.* 68. Couldnt we just poison the towns water supply? Im sure *insert local villan's name here* will take a drink sooner or later.... 69. Ugh, a dungeon. Im heading back to town to buy a cow... youll thank me later when it sets off all the traps and not you. 70. Whats your problem??! It was an *orc* baby, it was evil! (There is something terribly wrong about going through an orc village and killing a whole generation of orc infants... i dont care if theyre evil... its still wrong :( )
Nessaj 08-26-07, 03:31 PM	32: (Dialogue) Commoner: You're a monster! Villian: (Points at Ogre cohort) No, he's a monster. I'm a very bad man. :evillaugh Nice... 71. The PC's are bargaining with Shadow Dragon in her own lair covered in magical darkness. They want to use a portal to leave Gehenna. Who wouldn't? Dwarf: So how're we supposed to even know you are who you say you are?! I say you're some demented crackpot mage attempting to extort us out of our stuff. Dragon: Then forget about using the portal. Dwarf: I means to go home. What will 100 Gold get me? Dragon: Safe passage out of my lair.
Moonslayer 08-26-07, 06:28 PM	72. The enemy of my enemy is just someone else I have to kill. 73. Violence may not be the answer, but it's always a good guess. 74. This happened in a game between another player's Cavalier and my Orge Mage Barbarian (1st Edition romp through Castle Greyhawk, my character was reincarnated): Cavalier "I challenge you to a duel!" Me to Cav "I accept!; Me to GM "I attack!" Cav "You can't do that!" Me "You're the honorable one pal, not me." BTW first attack was a crit and pretty much laid him out.
Orchomenos 08-28-07, 11:49 AM	75. "There's no good or evil. There's just the power, and those too weak to search it!"
Cowtessa 08-28-07, 06:07 PM	76) "Violence is not the answer!" Replied calmly and in a refined tone of voice "Ah, 'tis but merely the question. Yes. Yes is the answer."
Downtym 08-28-07, 08:10 PM	77) If we kill everyone that disagrees with us then we will be right. 78) The universe has judged the wicked as deserving any punishment, such is divine sanction. 79) You know, if the entire race is evil then genocide would solve all our problems. I'm oddly comfortable with that. 80) You fail to understand, sir. We actually don't care if you do or don't know where the child is. We're bored and you happen to have unbroken fingers. So, let's have some fun. 81) Heroes are people who do what they do because it is just and good. I do what I do because I believe it is right. 82) I don't see why slitting his throat could possibly be wrong. He's the bad guy, a zit on society's backside. Do you cry when you pop a zit? 83) You're right, this isn't fit for a dog. But then I do like dogs better. 84) Torture? I like to think of it as "Pain Therapy". 85) The world I intend to create is one free of pain, loss, sorrow, and the people that would inflict such. Sadly, there is no place for me in a world like that. Unfortunately for you, there isn't either. 86) The way I see it, we have a disagreement. On the one hand there's you: You want to destroy the world for whatever ridiculous reason you just mentioned - I really wasn't listening, truth be told. And on the other hand there's me: I happen to like the world, all my stuff is here. 87) Yes, I am trying to goad you into a fight. You about ready there or should I start kicking your mom in the face? 88) There are two answers to every problem: Apathy and Violence. You can either not care about the problem or you can kill who or whatever is behind the problem. Personally, I like the killing, but you can try to convince me I shouldn't care. 89) Blah, blah, blah. Are you done yet?
Ian0311 08-28-07, 08:26 PM	90. *Slices an evil hostage's arm off* Ahhh...blood...I haven't seen that in a long time... Now, are you going to tell us where the big bad crimelord is or should I aim for your third leg next time? 91. *After a party member's objection to this so called 'torture'* He would have cut your head off, platemail boy. Next time, I'll let you interrogate the bad guy and promise him sunshine, roses, and 'redemption'. Let's see how far you get.
Fithero 08-28-07, 08:50 PM	86) The way I see it, we have a disagreement. On the one hand there's you: You want to destroy the world for whatever ridiculous reason you just mentioned - I really wasn't listening, truth be told. And on the other hand there's me: I happen to like the world, all my stuff is here. Bwahaha! Brilliant!
Terjon of the Blue Rose 08-29-07, 12:00 AM	76) "Violence is not the answer!" Replied calmly and in a refined tone of voice "Ah, 'tis but merely the question. Yes. Yes is the answer." 92) "Violence may not be the answer but it's usually a good guess."
Radijs 08-29-07, 05:44 AM	93. Violence is the last resort of the stupid. I'm smart enough to resort to violence before its time for last resorts.
green_girl 08-29-07, 11:57 AM	94. Hey, great empires are not build by praying and negotiating. They were built by hacking and slashing everyone that gets in the way. 95. Why am I smiling in the face of these adversities? Well, I have a scapegoat, and you don't. 96. Eagles may fly, but turkeys never have to deal with evading thunderbolts. 97. And why are you blaming me? We are a group, and that means we have to divide the blame equally.
AlphaBloodwolf 08-30-07, 06:40 PM	All these actually happened to me. 98.) Evil Cultist: "I shall kill you, and bring my master into this world!" Witch Hunter: -Kills the Cultist in one hit.- "Tell your master he needs to find better help." 99.) Paladin, following the same god as the Witch Hunter: "The priestess (of a dark god of demons) said she would not cause any trouble if we let her live... So stay your blade, Hunter. Witch Hunter: "...And you believe her?" -Sighs- "The Faithful aren't what they used to be." 100.) Random Rogue: "Are your crazy?! Going to the mountains?! There's orc there!" Witch Hunter: "Yep." Rogue: "Like -thousands- of them!" Witch Hunter: "Yep." Rogue: "How can you be so casual?!" Witch Hunter: "I'll either die, and find peace. Or I'll kill everyone last of those ugly demon-worshiping sons of :censored:, and either way, I'm happy. 101.) Non-Evil Vampire: "I am cursed to a life of undead existence! No one really cares!" Witch Hunter: "And my father murdered my wife... But you don't see me crying about it. Buck up, shut up, and come on."
Master_Vega 08-30-07, 08:43 PM	102. "You murdered a bunch of kids, some guards, and the last group of adventurers that tried to bring you in... and now you want me to spare you? What? Do I have a friggin' 'stab me, I'm a goody-goody!' sign on my back? Bubye. *impales villain, impales him again, kicks him, stomps him, and then leaves*" 103. An important villain at the tip of his sword, the anti-heroic rogue looked at his mercy-biased comrade after being scorned, "I'm not like this man, never once so vile; I'm just not naive. Killing this man won't right all of his wrongs, it won't bring our friends back, but it will stop him from killing again. It will stop him from poisoning the minds of whoever is forced to guard him while he awaits trial. It won't make all the difference in the world, but this small difference is one I must make. If you would defend him, search yourself, search the corpses of that mother and her little girl. Search their lifeless eyes and reconsider whether I am right or wrong."
JulesCARV 08-30-07, 11:44 PM	104. (level 4 Sorcerer) "I know what you're thinking. 'Did he cast four spells or just three?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as my highest level spell known is scorching ray, the most powerful 2nd level evocation on the sorcerer/wizard spell list, and would burn your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"
Underdark_Tourist 08-31-07, 01:28 PM	68. Couldnt we just poison the towns water supply? Im sure *insert local villan's name here* will take a drink sooner or later.... Awesomeness, pure and simple.
Radijs 08-31-07, 02:40 PM	105. "What do you mean spare the hostages? Its not like we know them."
Zuman 08-31-07, 04:51 PM	Maybe their sorry but I don't care. By fire, by cold, by crushing, by blade. Did the end come as you wish? (valkyrie profile) All my gold coins are covered in blood. Im starting to get funny looks.
Dex 09-01-07, 08:14 AM	108?)"Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is for you to pay me a flat 10,000gp to leave you alone. The hard way means we have to start negotiating the price." 109?)"How much do you weight? How old are you? Any injuries? Illnesses? No?" *short pause as he spends a few seconds doing sums in his head* "OK, I know a man in Ankh-Morpork who'd pay 5,000 for your organs. And don't make me kill you too messily, or I'll have to cut that figure in half." 110?)To BBEG: "Wait...you're not the other [insert BBEG's name here]? The one I owe money to? No? Oh well, I may as well do this anyway." *Attacks* 111?) taken from NIN lyrics: "Don't try and tell me that power can corrupt a person: You haven't had enough to know what it's like."
Fithero 09-01-07, 08:28 AM	112: Using a pregnant woman as a shield? Are you mad? There is no way she would stop one of my arrows! 113: The villians a doppleganger you say? Sorry guys, better to be safe than sorry *attacks party* 114: I'm not evil, I just don't care.
NPC_Tyler 09-04-07, 02:12 PM	115: Reason what do you mean I needed a reason to kill these guys?
Need_A_Life 09-04-07, 04:04 PM	116. [from our last session] Mayor: "So how do you know she was telling the truth? People under interrogation are usually willing to say anything." Leader: "We were persuasive..." Me: "The Enemy had her loyalty only because he was threatening the lives of her family. We found a way to... match that influence" [The story, of course, was that her husband was a coup de grace away from oblivion. And that all the other people in the room were no longer in a condition to fight, 'cept the clerics who were needed to heal the wounded]
Triyu 09-08-07, 02:05 PM	117: I can forgive you for butchering the entire village but I cant say the same for you taking away all those Innocent treasures, of which every last coper would much rather be with me.
meto30 09-13-07, 08:19 AM	(Just a direct quote from Warhammer40k, for over-zealous faithful) 118: True Faith is UNQUESTIONING! 119. Death shall be my mercy onto you. 120: Gods have told me that they are tired of hearing your prayers, and I intend to end them. Yes. That's exactly what I was commanded to do.
Silverclaw 10-02-07, 04:40 AM	121: i have a bad feeling about this... 122: other party member:"i think you have gone mad with power" me:"of course i have gone mad with power, have you ever tried going mad without power, that is boring!"
Radijs 10-02-07, 05:51 AM	And thats also from the Simpsons movie. Anyway for when my druid gets ticked off: "Does the human like flesh on his bones?"
The_Shaman 10-02-07, 07:58 AM	124. "There's a time for everything. Right now is the time for a drink; the time to risk my head may come when you pay me." 125. "We will all meet Death. Don't soil yourself for a measly delay." 126. "You killed my friend, I kill you. It's that simple, so don't hide behind that gilded crest of yours" 127. "Money, power, respect, honor - everything comes at a price. Now you pay."
Ian0311 10-02-07, 01:15 PM	128. *Tearful and furious.* "Let's face it, I'm not a good girl any more. You took the innocence right out of me and filled me with hate. Now you're going to feel the extent of my hatred."
RollaD20 10-02-07, 05:20 PM	ahem, that wasnt in the job description, i demand further payment, lest i smite you.
Master_Vega 10-02-07, 08:08 PM	130. "Now, at the end of your miserable life you see that... that... dammit! I hate speeches! Die!"
roninwolf109 10-03-07, 11:17 AM	The catchphrase of a Rogue/Assassin I ran about a year ago: "I'm helping." Bear in mind that his idea of 'helping' was systematically tracking down and killing every bard in the city so that the bard who hired him as a bodyguard could get the best gigs (and of course, he'd ask for a raise in pay every time a body turned up in addition to the stuff he stole from the dead bards...)
Ragitsu 10-23-07, 06:45 AM	"It's only illegal if you get caught." "The line between good and evil is thinner than you think." "If my acts are wrong, I do not want to be right." "You call it murder, I call it the necessary ending of life that's gone on for too long"
Talaisan 10-23-07, 10:43 AM	War is not about who's right. War is about who's left. History is written by the survivors. So, whether I'm the good guy or the bad guy kinda depends on whether I kill you or you kill me. *to the BBEG's twinked out fighter lieutenant* So, I don't suppose I can buy you off? *pause* No? Oh well... let's dance, you and I.
jonasdrieghe 10-24-07, 04:22 AM	My CG gambling-addicted Bard as he's looking for a weapon to fight of an invading war band of orcs and goblins, finding nothing but a hayfork in a barn: "As far as I know, orcish warriors don’t like to play cards and a hayfork beats a chess set when fighting of a goblin attack."
Operation_Shoestring 10-24-07, 04:18 PM	140) There is no such thing as overkill. Just Open Fire and I need to reload. -schlock mercenary 141) Swords don't kill people, *I* kill people 142) Disintegrating Ray. It's the only way to be sure.
Optimator 10-24-07, 05:38 PM	143. After a long, intricate BBEG monologue: "lol wut"
Drunk_Yoda 10-24-07, 06:40 PM	144) after killing someone "Oh sorry got a little carried away" 145) "You go to the front line and defend this kingdom while I comand you from that mountain far away" 146) "I am no coward sir, I am merly a smart man who knows that it is better to run and hide than fight"
Naze 10-24-07, 10:23 PM	147. "Shall I kill you while you're squatting there, or would you like to stand up first?" 148. "I love mercenaries. No matter what you do to them you never feel bad." 149. "My retorts are usually of the sharp, bladed variety." 150. "Honestly? You're going to be dead in sixteen seconds. Just shut up and accept it." 151. "I don't drink tea; I had a bad experience. You should have seen the other guy though."
BirdKilndar 11-04-07, 08:19 PM	152 "Oh, I'm sorry. That extra sword? Oh, well... that was just for effect." 153 "He who loots and runs away gets to loot another day." 154 "There's just sumthin' a little disconcernin' 'bout soul possessed children... that you can't slay. *twitch*" 155 For villian "Oh- you were expecting some great monologue...? Sorry to disappoint. *fireball*" 156 "I don't have to outrun the DRAGON, I just have to outrun YOU." 157 "So I'm thinkin' finger-wagglin' fireball shootin' wizards just got something to compensate for." 158 "Overkill? Huh? Whats THAT?" 159 "Color spray?! WHAT. THE. ****?!" 160 "Faerie Fire?! AGAIN! WHATHA****?!" 161 "You slay 100 demons, tons of evil villagers, and seven dracoliches... AND YOU STABBED YOUR OWN FOOT?" 162 "You may be the slayer of great kings, gods, and the like... but al it would realy take for you to die is one well place backshot." 163 "Quickest way to a man heart is through his back. Right about... here. *stab*" 164 Barbarian "OOoooo. SHINEY WEAPONS!" Mage "No wonder he's slain hundreds. He can't help himself or get laid."
Operation_Shoestring 11-05-07, 05:43 PM	"You do realize that while the paladin code forbids accepting assistance from others in an honorable fight, it doesn't say anything about tripping your opponent *trip* or stabbing him in the back *stab*"
bulletprooffox 11-07-07, 12:25 PM	I'm reminded of when our 26th level party had a mindflayer sorceror held captive in ropes (he was the underling of the paragons we had been fighting). There are two separate occassions where my scout came in and did the following: We were going into a new room, and we had not searched it, so I suggested the mindflayer go in first. He argued, but I sliced off one of his tentacles with my short sword and said: "You can either be our meat shield or theirs, your choice." Later we came to a magic artifact which was a book, and whoever's name was written in it had divine protection from several effects in the large mansion we were in. The mindflayer asked if he could sign his name in the book. Tied up and helpless, I had to take advantage. I stabbed him in the face with the pen after I had signed my name, killing him via a coup de gras, and said: "Huh? . . . I guess the pen is really mightier than the sword."
Hammer_of_Tyr 11-07-07, 09:56 PM	We had just cleaned out a nest or wererats, strangely we left one alive. In the next section of the Sewers was a huge vicious water elemental (Weird?) The party stopped me from using intimidation to question the wererat. (Even intimidation made them queasy. buncha goody-goody's) then they noticed that there were magic circles in the floor dedicated to the elven gods. The focus went from the Wererat prisoner to the new elfy magic. So they left the 'rat in my capable hands. I scooped him up and walked into he room with he elemental and threw him in. The rest of the party had a fit. "You killed a helpless prisioner!" "We weren't done with him!" "We were going to turn him over to the captain of the guard!" My reply was " That wasn't a prisoner or a monster, it was a disease with legs! Turn it over to a guard captain? The whole of the city guard would be greasy wererats in a month. Not on my watch! Beside "I" didn't kill the 'rat, the water elemental in the other room did, I just made the introduction!"
Hammer_of_Tyr 11-07-07, 09:59 PM	We had just cleaned out a nest or wererats, strangely we left one alive. In the next section of the Sewers was a huge vicious water elemental (Weird?) The party stopped me from using intimidation to question the wererat. (Even intimidation made them queasy. buncha goody-goody's) then they noticed that there were magic circles in the floor dedicated to the elven gods. The focus went from the Wererat prisoner to the new elfy magic. So they left the 'rat in my capable hands. I scooped him up and walked into he room with he elemental and threw him in. The rest of the party had a fit. "You killed a helpless prisioner!" "We weren't done with him!" "We were going to turn him over to the captain of the guard!" My reply was " That wasn't a prisoner or a monster, it was a disease with legs! Turn it over to a guard captain? The whole of the city guard would be greasy wererats in a month. Not on my watch! Beside "I" didn't kill the 'rat, the water elemental in the other room did, I just made the introduction!"
meto30 11-09-07, 01:30 AM	165) Don't worry, I'll save you. Just make sure you wash diligently. *wink wink*
Hammer_of_Tyr 11-10-07, 09:40 AM	Grrr, double post
Bobfred21 11-10-07, 01:43 PM	"Float like a butterfly, sting like a sword to the face."
Arco Versipellis 11-11-07, 03:33 AM	Said the satyr to the gnome upon a stay at a brothel turning sour: "Grab the wine and get the hell out of here."
nrseer 11-14-07, 06:55 PM	Halfling standing over a dead body bloody dagger in hand "What!? I found him this way" Barbarian to Paladin: "Just because your lawful doesn't mean I don't hurt you" Warlock: I know what you are thinking did I blast you five times or.... screw it *blast**blast**blast**blast*
Xavon 11-14-07, 09:32 PM	171. Why choose between the lesser of two evils when I can just kill them both? 172. Just because I don't kill for fun doesn't mean I can't have a little fun when I'm forced to kill. 173. You say violence isn't the answer, but who asked? 174. Death and I broke up. But I think she'd like you. Shall I make the introduction?
Master_Vega 11-14-07, 10:33 PM	172. Just because I don't kill for fun doesn't mean I can't have a little fun when I'm forced to kill. ROFL! Nice! 175. "Pilfer? I don't know the meaning of the word! ... No seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about."
Dremik-the-Taupe 11-18-07, 06:17 PM	"Alright, keep the children, sacrifice em blah blah blah. But I'm gonna need something for the trouble I'm going to of not killing you guys. "We need to keep moral up. Let's loot that farm" On selling freshly orphaned children as slaves: "Well, there parents are dead, so I don't see what's so bad about turning a profit and providing cheap labor at the same time."
Shadowshimmer 11-20-07, 10:43 AM	176. Can't kick a man when he is down! Can someone explain to me when is a better time to kick someone?! 177. Option A, you take your sword and cut your head off for me. Option B, I cut your head of myself and stick it on a pike. What will it be?
Master_Vega 11-21-07, 07:34 PM	178. In reply to assassin: "'I am death', 'I am your doom', 'I am slaughter' blah, blah, blah! Well I'm Bob, and I don't need to hide behind a bunch of fancy metaphors!"
Talaisan 11-22-07, 11:18 AM	178. In reply to assassin: "'I am death', 'I am your doom', 'I am slaughter' blah, blah, blah! Well I'm Bob, and I don't need to hide behind a bunch of fancy metaphors!" 179. In response to same. 'Isn't it much more... sneaky to say things like this AFTER you killed me? Instead of getting all dramatic and giving me the opportunity to *twang* draw my hand crossbow?'
HuManBing 11-22-07, 01:10 PM	180. I really hope you weren't a procrastinator. You just ran out of tomorrows. 181. When you get to hell, tell 'em I sent you. You'll get a group discount. 182. If you run, you're only going to die tired. 183. We aspire only to be poor but honest adventurers. [sotto voce]Well, one out of two ain't bad... 184. I'm sorry, were you talking to me or chewing on a brick? Because you're liable to lose teeth either way. 185. No, seriously. What does a spleen actually do? You don't know, do you? Well me neither - let's find out! 186. My axe is feeling cold. Mind if I wrap it in your brain? 187. You keep that up and you're gonna need a closed casket.
HuManBing 11-22-07, 01:12 PM	188. Tough cop: "We can't kill them. We'd have to hide the corpses!" Nice cop: "Hide? What does that mean?" Tough cop: "I think it means taking the skins off their bodies or something."
The_Shaman 11-22-07, 03:02 PM	189. Do you know what "necromancer" means? I can speak to you now or I can speak to you in five minutes. For me, it doesn't matter. For you, it should.
Dauthi_Overseer 12-03-07, 03:14 AM	Necromancer "Ahh, now that I've finished them, time to interrogate them." ^^
bulletprooffox 12-08-07, 04:51 PM	"There are two constants in the world: Death and Taxes. Hmmmm . . . looks as if you're all paid up in your taxes, well that only leaves one thing then."
Orzhvo_Patriach 12-10-07, 08:14 PM	191: ........................................ .............................. (quote from an evil mime) 192: good and evil are nothing more than pretty words used to get henchmen to shut up and do as told. 193: Those guards cost me 1,000 gold each! do you have any idea what this will do to my credit! not to mention the hell I'll get from there union, and I mean that literally!
Bobfred21 12-12-07, 03:38 AM	"I'm a lover not a fighter... But then, I always did love a good fight."
Apocalypse_Child 12-12-07, 10:44 AM	Inevitable Firefly Quote: "Sure, it's humiliating. Having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man. (Stabs Atherton in the side.) Guess I'm just a good man. (Stabs him again.) Well, I'm all right." --Malcolm Reynolds <3
Angelic_Demon 12-16-07, 03:54 AM	195: *Keh-thunka-keh-thunka-keh-thunka-keh-thunka-SNAP!* (Sound of a man falling down stairs after being hit with Darkness...which our Warlock/Rogue does for kicks) 196: "Morals? MORALS? I'm sorry, but if you're not going to play seriously, I'm going to leave..."
Orzhvo_Patriach 12-22-07, 12:34 PM	195: *Keh-thunka-keh-thunka-keh-thunka-keh-thunka-SNAP!* (Sound of a man falling down stairs after being hit with Darkness...which our Warlock/Rogue does for kicks) 196: "Morals? MORALS? I'm sorry, but if you're not going to play seriously, I'm going to leave..." yeah, that was fun:D 197: .................Stab 198: I love children, espically in a light ranch dressing 199: Do I really need a reason to search for power? I gather power for the sake of power 200: Read the fine print 201: please save me son! alright, but we only save orphans :stab:
Dravda 12-24-07, 02:40 AM	202. [Really tough bad guy fails a save-or-die spell] "*****, PLEASE." 203. "Cute. Now sit down and watch a REAL Necromancer work!" EDIT: 204. [Interrupts BBEG's monologue]: "Where's that bat guano?" 205: "No, really. He was so stupid I had to let some sunlight into his head." -Count Dravda
Shadojack 12-24-07, 06:52 PM	the following were quotes from an old play group... 206. The poster clearly said "Dead or Alive" Dead is just alot easier. 207. I don't like torturing people, it takes to long. Just kill them and have the preist commune with dead. 208. Rescue the princess. save the orphans, blah, blah, blah. What ever happened to kill a monster, takes it treasure? 209. NPC- Her beauty outshines the sun, her voice puts the birds to shame. Player- Yeah, yeah, is she hot and does she put out?
Xavon 12-25-07, 02:23 PM	yeah, that was fun:D 198: I love children, espically in a light ranch dressing 201: please save me son! alright, but we only save orphans :stab: These are not anti-hero quotes, these are villain quotes.
Aleolus 12-26-07, 12:15 AM	210: Mercy? You wanted mercy? You should have thought of that before we got hired! 211: Gods give me strength! You're tyranny is at an end, vile servant of darkness! Unless, of course, you offer to pay us more than the reward on your head is. Always gotta go for the better deal and all! :D
Dravda 12-27-07, 04:29 PM	212. "He died in his bed of natural causes; for a knife in the back will naturally kill you." [Sorry, I had to include that one] -Count Dravda