| Post/Author/DateTime | Post |
|---|---|
| Innomado02-18-06, 02:27 AM | I am looking for off the wall things to say at the beginning of an encounter or when first entering a room that will startle or confuse people. I will explain. This quirk is based on someone my Dad told me about. He was a police officer nicknamed Thunder whose specialty was robberies in progress. He would go into the room first and say something so off the wall, that came from so far out of nowhere that everyone who wasn't prepared would just stop in their tracks, completely baffled. The suspect could then be taken down while trying to comprehend what was said. Sadly I don't know what kinds of things Thunder said and have difficulty coming up with things on the fly so I thought I would start a list and see what suggestions the community had. Here is what little I have come up with. 1. The monkey flies east with the dawn. (Said while making a gesture to indicate it is a secret code.) 2. Never make faces two inches from a badger. As you can see I need help. Thanks ahead of time for any ideas you have. |
| Fithero02-18-06, 06:55 AM | It seems your just asking us to throw out totally random and crazy sounding statements..... 3: I AM ORCUS!!! FEAR ME *****E$!!!! 4: Hey *insert bbeg's name here* i can see your doodle :P 5: The standard ingredients in hafling pie is... blah blah blah 5: Play with puddles of water and you will be burnt into stone! 6: Thats not how you jam with the best of them, *this* is how you jam with the worst of them Just make up completly random stuff... whatever comes to mind... just throw together some random words... im kinda doubting its reliability... not its hilarity... but if it would actually work. Later |
| Omnirahk, half-Rahkshi02-18-06, 09:01 AM | 7) Flying tortellini soup is way number 17 to know you are in the wrong place at the wrong time. 8) [start using a spiked chain as a jump rope] That's reason 54 why I like Spiked Chains 9) Have at thee, purple worm! 10) [to a bunch of drow priestesses] Your mothers ate spiders! [start running. This is a good distraction tactic] 11) I am sane in a crazy world! Fear me, for I am as insane as madly possible! 12) De rats me vex! 13) You put de lime in de coconut . . . 14)You put his brain in de tummy . . . I'll have to get my brother here. He comes up with the craziest stuff. |
| Timmo_Turren02-18-06, 03:45 PM | It seems to me that most of these sentences are just normal sentences with certain words (mainly nouns) replaced with silly or nonsensical counterparts. It seems to me that it might be more effective if the syntax was so convuleted that it was only a sentence in the loosest sense of the word. Ex1) That handprint soup is over past mine! Ex2) More requests of done authority! It would probably also work well if the sentences were suscint. Either way, these are all halerious. |
| Innomado02-18-06, 05:33 PM | Thanks for the ideas so far they are all great. I particularly like numbers 4, 9, 13, and 14 and plan on using them. Timmo_Turren had the right idea when he pointed out that for phrases to be useful for the purpose I have in mind they need to be succinct. Also the goal isn't so much that the phrases are crazy in themselves but that they are so unexpexted and out of place that they result in the target being stunned and confounded as his/her brain tries to comprehend what is going on. 15. El queso es viejo y mohoso. (The cheese is old and mouldy.) 16. Careful there are guerillas out there. (got this one from my brother; It does depend on being in a setting that is devoid of both gorillas and guerillas to be effective.) |
| Daergal_the_Black02-18-06, 06:32 PM | Go with the classics, like: 17) Terrible hamster justice will be wreaked upon you!! GO FOR THE EYES, BOO! |
| Twilly02-19-06, 07:58 AM | I think Timmo Turren's first sentences are very good: "It seems to me that most of these sentences are just normal sentences with certain words (mainly nouns) replaced with silly or nonsensical counterparts. It seems to me that it might be more effective if the syntax was so convuleted that it was only a sentence in the loosest sense of the word." That should confuse your opponents. |
| Omnirahk, half-Rahkshi02-19-06, 08:23 PM | 18) Run for your lives! The trees march to battle! 19) Excuse me, Mr. Illithid. Did you just eat his brains, or is he just stupid? 20) Excuse me, Psychic Warrior, is that a Mindfeeder weapon, or is he just stupid? 21) Excuse me, Mr. Dragon, can you really breath fire, or is your breath just bad? 22) Well, the villain has developed a severe stress twitch and is no longer able to scheme. My work here is done. Dwarvzies, go get 'im. 23) [shouting] You fiend! [normal voice now] Is that thing your precious? You aren't going to start slobbering now, are you? [best if used when villain has begun to cradle his magic doomsday device] 24) [Use if you ever have to face an evil king or doppleganger disguised as the king] I've gotta say, the real thing doesn't hold a candle to the coin. Did your nose get in the way of an Enlarge spell? And whooee, do you stink! I can smell you from here. I'm 10 ft away and I can tell that your right foot has an entirely different stench from the left. [Begin to say this, stop when you think the guard would have you. This is a more long-term distraction] Not all of them are high quality, but you get the idea. |
| Shaggy_Shaggs02-19-06, 10:25 PM | What a coincidence, a guy I know set up a script to spout random gibberish awhile back. Maybe some of these could be useful to you. <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> gastromyxorrhea own horsehide <YFNH> ... <YFNH> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> antepirrhema but nonportrayal <YFNH> What's that about? <ShaggyShaggs> not sure what it's for but figured it might be useful for a thread asking for weirdness <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> anacamptometer has Dor <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> enfester way achira <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> antiseption come disanagrammatize <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> antithrombin way becreep <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> littery very cocircularity <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> archworker you blitheful <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> colpeurynter your feminineness <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> chastiser into andiroba <ShaggyShaggs> !random <fruit|zZzZZzz> caret me bastardy |
| Vennettai02-20-06, 01:19 AM | 25tweedle dee tweedle dumb im gonna stick my thumb in your bum 26kids are only as long as there chopped up to be 27when you go camping dont forget your (insert mage name here). 28looks like you were the strongest swimmer 29i had fun on your vacation 30 if id only brought my mace we could have made cream corn 31 oh my god hes got a one string harp run 32 were alright hes just a bathroom attendent 33 its ok hes imprisoned in his own personal steel cage 34 molest him (had to through that in) 35 how many goblins does it take to change a lamp. only one to fuel it i dont know if these are neccissarily random i think they would be funny to hear someone yell out for no reason. i have said a few of these myself. |
| Feor02-20-06, 01:31 AM | You might want to go to CtrlAltDel comics (http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com) and search their archives for "Brian" Chef Brian seems to be just hte kinda thing you're looking for. |
| Pumpoei02-20-06, 04:39 AM | 36. "I'm here for the free popcorn." 37. "I'm looking for my ninja." 38. "I my friend me?" 39. "I have your baby in my backpack." 40. "I am your mother." 41. "Give me three coppers or the DM gets it!" 42. "Free admision!" 43. "Can I borrow your underwear?" 44. "He who speaks doth not know, he who knows doth not speak." 45. "I have two feats." 46. "I've forgotten my name, can I have yours?" 47. "Are you for sale?" 48. "Please help me, I'm mute." 49. "I've just been killed by hobgoblins." 50. "I need my space. Please come here." 51. "Are you from without? Or to within?" 52. "All rights reserved." 53. "I am you." |
| Omya02-20-06, 07:56 AM | "Comin at ya like a shark with knees!" "Cheew some corderoy fraggle 16!!!!!!!!!111111oneone" "Hey, 4th editions out next tuesday." "My grandfather kisses me on the lips and i have to admit its quite hot, way better than yours!" "RUN FOR YER HALF-LIVES! ITS ALL A SHAM! WE'RE REALLY THOUGHT-FORMS DREAMPT UP BY OVERMINDS EXISTING ONLY IN THEIR MAN CHILD PSYCHOSIS!!! AAAAAAARRRRRGH, I CAUSED A FEEDBACK ON OUR HOLLOW REALITY!!!!" |
| RobertJ02-20-06, 07:40 PM | Classic WTF line from SC: "In the Pipe, Five-By-Five" WTF take off: "My wife for Aiur!" |
| interpretivechaos02-20-06, 08:42 PM | If ever you need to something, just take some far of occurence in an unworkable universe... 44)The X-box overheats! 45)Beware- they have drawn a cartoon of the Prophet! 46)We shall place all our savings in a lock box! 47)The king no longer uses our life savings instead of taxes! 48)A bush was chosen as leader for the third time! 49)Do not Kill the Polar Bears! And now, for a handy mix and mash giberish chart The (blank 1) (blank 2) while (Blank 2 (ing instead of s) on the (Blank 3) 1 Cow Moon Cheese Dog Doctor Aardvark Tree Plow Smith Farm 2 Runs Eats Laughs Dies Cries Sings Dances Knits Spins lays a parquet floor gambles Flies 3 hill leprechaun Steeple wagon needle Gate Fence Raven Acorn Bonnet Bread mountain Roll a d10, and 3 d12s (rerolling the first two d12s if they're the same) leaving you with 15840 options right there And finally, for my favorite from literature- 15906)The sun and the moon are getting married tonight, and I'm to carry the rings! |
| neilthrun02-27-06, 08:12 PM | Go with the classics, like: 17) Terrible hamster justice will be wreaked upon you!! GO FOR THE EYES, BOO! Dang, you beat me too it. 50 "You point, I punch!" 51 "Feel the burning stare of my hampster, and change your ways!" 52 "Something must be done! We must find this evil wizard! All that is goodness cries out for this! Even little Boo, although he cannot cry out quite so loudly." 53 "Come, we must press on against the tide of naughtiness. Mind your step." |
| cypherx03-01-06, 09:06 PM | 54 where is your left arm? 55 your shoes are untied. 56 LOOK! A DISTRACTION! |
| Solitare03-01-06, 10:58 PM | Maybe this will help: http://home.epix.net/~mhryvnak/theyfightcrime.html |
| Genasi_tac03-19-06, 01:52 AM | Dang, you beat me too it. 50 "You point, I punch!" 51 "Feel the burning stare of my hampster, and change your ways!" 52 "Something must be done! We must find this evil wizard! All that is goodness cries out for this! Even little Boo, although he cannot cry out quite so loudly." 53 "Come, we must press on against the tide of naughtiness. Mind your step." Another Minsc: 57. Sword meet Evil, EVIL MEET SWORD! P.s. I may have gotten that backwards. |
| zlatko03-19-06, 11:19 AM | 58. Wheres that chief's daughter?! I've got a batallion back there that hasn't seen a woman in months! 59. This is a cause for celebration! Let loose the venom demons! |
| Dreamfeed03-19-06, 11:54 AM | Ah, Minsc is the best. (and by the way, yes, you got that backwards.) On topic, I'd like to add "Nice ass". That works. Especially against guys. |
| Genasi_tac03-19-06, 10:29 PM | Ah, Minsc is the best. (and by the way, yes, you got that backwards.) On topic, I'd like to add "Nice ass". That works. Especially against guys. It's the thought that counts :D |
| Pandaemoni03-20-06, 04:10 AM | There's also Schprockets: * "Now is the time on Schprockets vhen ve dance." * "Would you like to touch my monkey? Touch him! Love him!" * "His agony was gorgeous. I need to be slapped." * "Rühren mein Affe. Lieben meine Affe-minkie!" (Excite my ape. love my ape-monkey!)" * "Now I am as happy as a little girl!" * "Sadly, Klaus is limited. But he is beautiful, is he not?" * "Your setup has become tiresome." (Great for BBEGs who feel the need to give exposition) * "I appreciate a warm hand on my opening." * "Karl-Heinz, you are beautiful and angular, and if you were a gas, you'd be inert." * "Gregor Vas, your presence intimidates me to the point of humiliation. Would you care to strike me?" * "Textures intrigue me." * "Why is it that the truly brilliant are doomed to a life of obscurity, surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, only to end up covered in sores in a pool of their own filth? Oh well, the beat goes on." * "That has disturbed me to the point of insanity. There. I am insane now." |
| G-man03-23-06, 06:27 PM | Oi! Humperdink, NO! Your shoelace is untied. Don't make me slap you with my flipflop! Grandma? Nice shirt. Does it come in Mens? Hey Buck Futters.. hit the deck. Nice shoes. Wanna fight? SHAZAM! That's it! It's go time! That thing got a Hemi? Look at my wingspan... I could kill you all! Saxamaphone! Festivus! You want a banana daquri, you can have a banana daquri! Applecore. Nothing more. Who's your friend? He is! Wow, I didn't realize they could stack crap that high... Worst enemy, ever! You look like a gallon of crap in a quart jug. What a mess. You look like you combed your hair with a slice of toast. That straight hair and curly teeth look really isn't working for you. Wanna see my wooly mammoth? (accompanied by pelvic thrusts) I love you, Honey Bunny. Buddy, I'm gonna shoot/cleave/mash/bash/kick you in the face. Go go gadget crossbow! You're the second biggest half-orc I've ever seen. This calls for the cone of silence. (60's Get Smart reference) Wow, a Kobold shaman. Don't worry, I'll speak slowly and use small words. Bite me, I love you. Where's the beef? |
| Zombayz103-23-06, 10:30 PM | You guys forgot one "Nice shoes. Wanna ****?" |
| Omya03-24-06, 03:54 AM | * "That has disturbed me to the point of insanity. There. I am insane now." Funny!!!! :) :D |
| Omya03-24-06, 04:01 AM | What a mess. You look like you combed your hair with a slice of toast. This made me laugh quite loud and suddenly-> causing the cat to sprint out of the room in shock. :D |
| Dex03-24-06, 08:24 AM | ALL YOU BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!11!!11!1! N00B! OWNED! teh haxx lame AWP camper Do you want fries with that? I'll have at thee, with a PARROT! Do I have something between my teeth? or anything else shouted out by the kids on the CounterStrike:Source servers. |
| Pandaemoni03-24-06, 08:40 AM | One for the money Two for the show Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats, ho! |
| Pan_Ai_Khan03-24-06, 08:46 AM | :rofl: ... sigh. I'm laughing with tears down my face. Any good battle-cry must roll off the tongue; if you start monologuing the enemy will garotte you. Anyway, here's my additions. "SPOON!" (classic from the Tick) "Apple Goldfish Rumplestiltskin Purple?" (from Red Dwarf) "Two and one-half Badgers, please!" (also from Red Dwarf) "Out Of My Tree!" (as seen on a T-shirt somewhere) |
| Foozlesprite03-25-06, 09:19 PM | What's the hampster fetish going on here? -CHEESE!!! (cheese is ALWAYS random by nature) (also replaces the more traditional "FREEZE!!!") -Drop it or you'll get the Herbal Essences treatment! -Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? (had to) |
| Pan_Ai_Khan03-27-06, 07:18 AM | The 'hamster fetish' as you put it, is from Baldur's Gate, with Minsc and his 'Minature Giant Space Hamster', Boo. Minsc is one of the more colourful characters, and usually provokes a chuckle every time he opens his mouth. |
| Watchdog_of_Hades03-27-06, 11:22 AM | Well, nobody's numbering theirs any more, and I don't want to spend a lot of time, so "Where I come from, [insert horrible tabbooed action here] is considered a compliment." |
| kivane_kid03-28-06, 12:09 PM | Okay, so we have some really odd stuff here, but I think the best ones are where you scream at someone for looking/touching/stealing/eating you stuff (except they didn't actually do it). ~"That (insert race here) stole my shirt!" ~"Are those my underwear?" ~"NO, tomorrow we'll kill all the patrons"(said to guy next to you, even if you don't know them) ~(Screamed in the face of the guy you just sat on) "DON"T TOUCH ME THERE LIKE THAT!!!!!" ~"I think I just shat myself." ~"OH MY GOD!!!!!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!!!! Hey Carl, how's it going?" And so on and so forth....... |
| Kreoli03-29-06, 11:27 AM | "The flying Luxemburgers are detoxicating naked chickens up the wall!" "There I will sail this ricebowl through your wings at the opening of the last age" |
| Pandaemoni03-29-06, 03:58 PM | “I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.” “One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” |
| club2bash03-29-06, 07:31 PM | Welcome to the school of pain. Principal (insert name here) will see you now. P.S. GO FOR THE EYES BOO!!!!! :fight!: P.S.S. Yay for minsc :D |
| ChibiQueso03-31-06, 03:04 PM | From any person capable of attacking with tentacles. "YOU DIDN'T CUT THE WATER!" |
| Squall25503-31-06, 08:45 PM | No drugs, no sex, and no sex with weapons. (said in a pre overnight-robotics tournament rules talk.) POTATOWNED!!! |
| Arco Versipellis04-01-06, 12:00 PM | "That depends on what the definition of is is." "Mission Accomplished." Both of these require some (off) timing. |
| Cam S.04-01-06, 10:38 PM | Address people as "Scarecrow" once in a while. This works best when it's placed randomly in a sentence, and said quickly yet natrually, as to not break the flow of converation. Deny it or gloss right over it if asked about it. "I'd rethink that if I were you, Scarecrow, you know that red dragons breathe fire." "Did you just call me scarecrow?" "Listen, Pete, I think you're missing my point..." |
| Tlazcotl04-02-06, 10:51 AM | - "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." O.k., these ones aren't quotes to use when you meet someone; but they're still great to use in a game! - "I am no more humble than my talents require." - "Every time I look at your I get a fierce desire to be lonesome." - "What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left." - "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - "I think that the gods in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." - "One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards." - "I can resist anything but temptation." - "A friend is one who would help you move. A best friend is one who would help you move a body." - "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more." :D |