Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Dharan_Aelorothi 11-22-06, 01:29 PM	I'm creating a half elven wizard from Silverymoon (FR), and I need some catchphrases for him. He's cocky, likes to play with fire, temperamental, a bit of a lecher, etc. Nothing special, I was just hoping for some phrases so I can make 2 d% charts of stuff for him to say. Event things would be nice too! (Don't number those, only the ones for the chart). You know, along the lines of "It's time to kick ass and chew gum, and it just so happens that I'M ALL OUT OF GUM." :D Give me your worst :D
Pandaemoni 11-22-06, 02:23 PM	This is my spellpouch, this is my wand, one is for casting, the other for blondes.
Kitaki 11-22-06, 02:45 PM	This one is from 8 Bit Theatre and must be used on an attractive female spellcaster. "Just cast hold down there baby"
mato_hibiki 11-22-06, 06:49 PM	"Regular, or extra crispy?" "For me, it burns in a good way. For you? Not so good." "There might be a slight ringing in your ears. Luckily for you, you'll be nowhere near them." "Where would you like your remains scattered?" "Ashes to ashes, your butt to dust." "For my next spell, I'll need a large, flammable object. You'll do nicely." "I'll light up your life." That's all for now.
Dharan_Aelorothi 11-22-06, 07:26 PM	Thanks guys, keep them coming! I'm just ITCHING to introduce this character now! We were a bit short on arcane firepower anyway :)
nightwyrm 11-22-06, 08:50 PM	"Some have said there is no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." "Anybody want some . . . toast?" "Wanna help me make some fireworks?" "Burn baby, burn!" "Did someone just turned up the heat?" "You definitely look better as a pile of ashes." "You want some hot luv'in?"
Alpha_Moose 11-22-06, 10:02 PM	There are a couple good ones from 8-bit Theater (http://www.nuklearpower.com/index.php) and Order of the Stick (http://www.giantitp.com/). Just look though the comics and see what Vaarsuvius and Black Mage say. I am somewhat preoccupied telling the Laws of Physics to shut up and sit down -Vaarsuvius
Dharan_Aelorothi 11-22-06, 10:42 PM	Thanks guys, this is really helping out! Just keep em rolling! And not just battle phrases, stuff for EVERYTHING! They don't all have to be about fire, they could be about, you know, magic in general, or just crude things to say. His name is Vheddan Aerendyl Van Kaithe, by the way. Born and raised in Silverymoon by two half elven parents. He pretty much got shunted off to magic school because he was the third child and he was too much of a handful, so his parents were glad to get rid of him. Who knew that he'd actually be GOOD at it? Well, he could've gotten alot farther with his powers, if he wasn't off wenching, drinking, getting into trouble, and, again, wenching. I think I'm going to throw in a few hilariously annoying flaws to counteract his overused personality (such as being horrendously afraid of the color magenta, or getting the immediate urge to pee whenever he hears a certain sound/phrase, kind of like Inuyasha's "sit" command.) I might even print up his complete story for you ravenous dogs to critique, if I have time. In the meantime, give me more phrases >:D and Enjoi :D
nightwyrm 11-22-06, 10:51 PM	"Ladies, meet my newest invention. The Dancing Wand of Pleasure."
_Bolshack_Dragon_ 11-22-06, 11:28 PM	"I got more talent in my fingers, than you do in your whole body." "I could own you with my spit." "If people were objects, you'd be oil, and I'd be the match." "I didn't mean to set it on fire, it was just a side effect of my spell."
Radijs 11-23-06, 12:47 AM	From OOTS: "I love the smell of bat guano in the morning" "As soon as I'm done reading this I'm going to roast your ass."
Azezel 11-23-06, 10:39 AM	"Fireball, the fasted route to the grave, via a dustpan and brush." "Would you like to see my Rod of Lordly Might? If you press the right buttons, it might extend." (hehehehe OotS) When threatened by something big and scary, calmly turn to your companions and call dibs on one of the bad guy's items. "Well I'm not a very good shot, but you'd better believe I've got a lot of spells and some time to waste..."
YamiSouru 11-23-06, 06:28 PM	"see this wand? im not a very good shot with it. lucky for me it shoots very large rounds" "See my belt? i made it from the skin of your mother ogre." "You have something i want and not even the gods themselves will stop me from getting it.." "I know what your thinking, did he use five spells or six? in all the excitment i lost track myself. so tell me. Do you feel lucky punk?" a few that might be of use:)
Alpha_Moose 11-23-06, 06:53 PM	"I know what your thinking, did he use five spells or six? in all the excitment i lost track myself. so tell me. Do you feel lucky punk?" Change spells to charges if using a wand. There is a thread (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=732443)about changing famous phrases to D&D.
Gilganarz_the_reporter 11-23-06, 07:43 PM	"When you can light stuff up, everything looks like a match..." "There is only one cure for stupidity, fortunately I know at least 6 ways to administer it"
AJ_Impy 11-24-06, 09:30 AM	"Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire..." Good old Jaya Ballard. "Something tells me you haven't burned to death yet. Easily rectified." "I like my spells like I like my women: Big, explosive, dangerous to get close to and capable of devastating whole armies in minutes."
Regular_K 11-24-06, 08:51 PM	(When trying to pick someone up) "It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes." "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
Tacitus_Acheros 11-24-06, 10:39 PM	Here's some. "I would wear fancy robes, but that'd just be perpetuating the stereotype." OR "What, take off the hat? But how will they know I'm a wizard!?!" (after a fight in which the Fighter or Barbarian finishes off the enemy before the wizard manages to cast a spell): "<sigh> Over a decade of training, an hour of study, and the stupid meatshield swords them to death before I have a chance to do anything." "Y'know, if the meatshield dies, we can just rig his corpse to a stand and wheel him around to the same effect." The obligatory 8-Bit Theater references: "As long as you follow my every whim without question or hesitation, you'll be perfectly safe." "Ah, what a beautiful morning, fresh with promise. I feel completely rejuvenated, especially now that I have all my spells back so don't try anything especially stupid!!!" (to a female cleric or paladin) "I know those robes are supposed to emphasize your chaste modesty, but dyam girl!" "We can do this one of two ways: the easy way, or the way that leads to your excruciatingly painful death." (casting spell) "You leave me precious little alternative, and I thank your for it." "Bah, stupid wizard college. Apparently the answer to 'How many 5th level spells can an experienced wizard cast?' is not 'More than enough to destroy you all and your families.' Feh!" (to the party's Fighter) "Put the pointy end into the squishy things that scream and bleed." (low on hp) "Well, at least I shall die as I have lived. Completely surrounded by morons." (to the rest of the party) "You fight for money, I weave occult magicks for money, and you give it all away because you're a moron. Heroes, we ain't." "Yeah, who would have done such a thing? Why, it would take some kind of insane megalomaniacal fiend to take pleasure in wielding the tapestry of creation to focus pure energy into reality through nothing more than my own will, the rush of electricity through my being, the power--my God, the power! IT'S THE ONLY TIME I FEEL ALIIIIIIIIIVE!" And finally one inspired by the Discworld series: "Hmm, Herpetty's Seismic Reorganizer? Quondum's Attractive Point? Or maybe Sumpjumper's Incendiary Surprise? Oh hell, why not all three at once?"
TheChilliGod 11-24-06, 10:46 PM	"Hm, lets see. we have roughly [X] baddies to fight, and only [X] of us. This is not a fair match, won't do at all! Ah, I know! Would it help if I cast while blindfolded?" "What do you mean, 'against the odds!' There's an even number of them! But if you want me to make that an odd number..." "Prepare for suicide. Because that's what you just committed." "Never underestimate a half-pansy wizard who plays with fire." "I'm sorry. You're blocking my view." "I always wondered what roast [enemy] tastes like. Most likely chicken, as they all do." "When you meet Firy Death, tell him that he left his wallet at my place."
Kitaki 11-25-06, 07:48 PM	More 8 Bit Theatre love (sorry, but its so useful for things like this) "I don't know how or why, but [insert party member] is behind all of this." (after killing a number of enemies by yourself) "Let this be a lesson to the rest of you, ifyou cross me, you WILL be dealt with." "Moral quandries have lost all meaning; the complexities of life have simple, violent answers; I have to admit, its quite liberating."
Azezel 11-25-06, 10:28 PM	(to a female cleric or paladin) "I know those robes are supposed to emphasize your chaste modesty, but dyam girl!" I would pay good money to see someone say that to my Nun-Cleric of Joramy (Goddess of Fire and Anger).
Tramp4life 11-26-06, 12:01 AM	I'm busy making the laws of physics my b*tch.
Sylthos 11-26-06, 03:20 AM	When discussing his outlook on life: "Light a man a fire, you keep him warm for a night; light a man ON fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life" "It's not so much the smoking that will kill you so much as the horrible burning" "Pyromaniacs?? Amateurs, they light and watch fires. I create works of art" (double entendre there for the FR fans)
HaikenEdge 11-26-06, 02:35 PM	When discussing any AoE spell that he has prepped with Widen Spell: "The truth of the matter is, it's not what you do it with; it's the size that counts." When caught commiting B&E: "I'm here to kick asses and take names. Considering, though, that you're still nameless...." Obligatory OotS reference: "I prepared Explosive Runes this morning." About scribing scrolls and spellbooks: "I write down downright fierce, so, if you want to die... Sho you can." (Cookie to whoever gets this reference.) When challenged to a drinking contest: "You can down a fifth of strong drink? Hmph, that's nothing. I drink fifths of magic potions on a daily."
ein9 11-26-06, 10:15 PM	I have a character very similar, so this thread is great. you could always steal from the first X-men movie "You know what happens when a [x] i lit on fire?...The same thing as everything else!" or from the princess bride (while someone is on fire.) "Im doing a study on how it feels to be burnt alive, remember, this is for science, so please, be honest..."
Alpha_Moose 11-27-06, 12:01 AM	Act like Tim from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. In the middle of a conversation stop, shoot a fireball at like a tree or something, then go back to the conversation as if nothing happened.
Lycanthromancer 11-27-06, 02:11 AM	I have a NE blue shaper-psion, and he's always screaming obscenities during particularly violent battles. "Take *that* you goat-headed son of a dretch!" "Just a friendly warning; this might sting a bit!" "Hurry up and die, already! I don't have all day!"
Alakar 11-27-06, 12:38 PM	"Who knew ogers were so flamable?" "I can kill you with three words and a hand gesture, I suggest you back away.....slowly" "In the amount of time that draw that pointy stick of yours, and attempt feebely to disembowel me, I will have spoken words of such power that your intestines will shrivel, your eyes will bleed, and your skin will boil. No son, do not be an adventurer, for things far worse than dragons and vampires exsist, I am one of them" " The only bad thing about fire is the smell of burnt fur when fighting lycanthropes, but that does not outway all the good things it does" "I love it when they run"
HorusTheHeretic 11-29-06, 05:09 PM	Act like Tim from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. In the middle of a conversation stop, shoot a fireball at like a tree or something, then go back to the conversation as if nothing happened. I love Monty Python.:w00t: Anyways, here's one based on "The Holy Grail": "What is your name? What is your quest? What is the temperature at which humans burn?" *Shoots fireball* Replace "humans" with whatever you are fighting.
AllWillFall2Me 11-30-06, 11:04 AM	"Do you have any idea how hot a fireball is? Oooh, I'm sorry we were looking for 'hot enough.'*BOOM*" "Common mistake for an army, using oh so flammable tents to camp in..." For lechery: "Why hello, ladies. Please, do not me intimidated by by handsome face or manly physique." Or "Gaze deep into my eyes and also note my attractive manly features."
Tacitus_Acheros 11-30-06, 05:08 PM	(to Bard) "Would you stop singing your stupid song so I can concentrate on casting this spell!?!?! Sheesh...I said hire a cleric, but noooooo, they said bards are more versatile..." (to Barbarian) "Okay, here's my plan--let me know if I need to define a word more complicated than 'sword.'" (to Cleric) "I know you're not sure if your god would approve of you healing me, but he isn't here at the moment, and I'm wounded, cranky, and eager to cast Lightning Bolt on something." (to Druid) "A word please? I believe your animal companion has bits of my familiar still splattered on its jaw..." (to Monk) "'Wisdom of the Ancients' my ass, at least the Barbarian is smart enough to attack with a weapon." (to Paladin) "So instead of attacking from concealment, you want us to launch a direct assault on a foe that outnumbers us five-to-one? You're just Lawful Stupid." (to Ranger) "I know your years in the wilds makes you a master outdoorsman, but it also gives you a funk that I could cut into blocks and build my own tower out of. Go hang with the barbarian, he probably won't mind." (to Rogue) "Oh, sure you can have that magic item. I'm confident you can get it to work without malfunctioning." (to others) "Watch this, it'll be hilarious..." (to Sorcerer) "Jabber any more about your magical blood and I'll extract it from your still-quivering corpse." More stupid wizard pick-up lines: "Y'know, I've got an illusion spell just perfect to touch up your face..." "Ever done it with a guy who can control gravity?" "I'm working on a spell called (wizard's name) Rhythmic Stimulator. Care to help me research it?" "C'mon back to my place, and I'll conjure up a succubus and make things interesting." "...where are you going? Haven't you considered the implications of a man who knows Polymorph spells?"
Kitaki 11-30-06, 06:16 PM	I'm saving those ones, I love em.
Daeren 12-01-06, 08:59 PM	Not exactly wizard quotes, but pyromanical ones all the same. My character is a Pyromaniac of the highest order. He regularly sets himself (or anyone annoying him) on fire when he's bored (his Scimitar, Anonymity, gives him the fire subtype among many other things). (To his binge-drinking Drunken Master companion): Your swerving and dodging won't help when I light all of your internal fluids on fire. You ever wonder what it's like to have your skin set ablaze? No? Well, no matter. You're still about to find out. I have a Devil consuming my soul, a warrent for my arrest in three cities, a penchant for lighting several square miles of terrain ablaze, and a hair-trigger temper. Bring it on.
Dharan_Aelorothi 12-01-06, 09:20 PM	:heehee I haven't checked the post in a while because I tied it to my email address, and it hasn't been notifying me ( :confused: ), so I was pleasantly surprised when I checked the actual thread :) Oh man, my group is going to die laughing when I introduce this character :schemes: :mage: Keep them coming, they're great! :mage:
Tacitus_Acheros 12-02-06, 01:20 AM	Expanding the insults beyond the core classes. (to Archivist) – “Okaaaay…you’re a Ceric without an inclination towards healing, or armor. You can follow behind me and make yourself useful by absorbing the first rear ambush.” (to Ardent) – “You’re like that spaced-out guy at the wizard’s college who prattled on and on about the fundamental forces of the universe. I gave him a demonstration of how to change the fabric of reality and turned him into a sheep. His wool ended up as the most comfortable pair of undergarments I’ve ever owned.” (to Beguiler) – No Fireballs or Lightning Bolts? Not even Magic Missile? What use could you possibly serve!?!?...and may I add that your dress looks spectacular, no, really, I’m sure it was expensive, let me give you some gold to make up for the cost… (to Binder) – “The only thing more pathetic than the beings you conjure up is that you rely on them to be useful.” (to Crusader) – “Sounds like you’re pretty good at soaking up damage…say, why don’t we see how many Lightning Bolts that translates into?” (to Divine Mind) – “If you’re doing your god’s work, why hasn’t he decided to give you any spells? You’re just a big-headed freak with delusions of divinity.” (to Dragonfire Adept) – “Two words: breath mint.” (to Dread Necromancer) – “Just what we need, another emo mage, but with an army of lackeys that makes the Ranger smell good. Paladin, I have a job for you…” (to Duskblade) – “Not quite a melee fighter, not quite a caster…guess the group decided they needed a tone-deaf bard. Well, another tone deaf-bard.” (to Erudite) – “Know what? You’re just a Psion too lazy to come up with his own powers.” (to Favored Soul) – “The sooner you sprout your wings and fly away, the better. Or you could keep preaching and I'll send you to meet your god in person.” (to Healer) – “A Cleric without armor eh? At least you’ll be in the back close to me…” (to Hexblade) – “That failed attempt at threatening makeup goes well with your pathetic spellcasting ability. Oh sure, curse me, I'd hate to botch attacks with my staff.” (to Knight) – “So you’re as annoying as the Paladin, but can’t cast any healing spells to try to make up for it…ye gods, I have got to find another adventuring group..." (to Lurk) – “At least the Rogue doesn’t make people’s heads explode when she cheap-shots them.” (to Marshal) – “Stop telling me what to do!!! If anyone should be ordering the party around, it should be me getting them out of the way so I can drop a Fireball.” (to Psion) – “You’re just like me, only with a bigger ego. Get it? Ego? No?...and I thought Intelligence was a key ability for you." (to Psychic Warrior) – “A meatshield…who thinks? Nice try doppelganger, but obviously you’ve neglected your studies of adventuring groups!” (whacks Psychic Warrior over head with wrench) (to Scout) – “Could you stop fidgeting, even for a moment!?! By Boccob’s books, you’re like a halfling hopped up on devilweed…” (to Shadowcaster) – “You’re trying too hard. Learn something useful like a Fireball and you’d actually be threatening…Did it just get darker in here?” (to Soulknife) – “And here, between the Monk who fights with no weapons and the Barbarian who fights with anything, we have someone who fights with imaginary weapons. We're like a traveling freakshow that kills people and takes their stuff.” (to Spellthief) – “Give me back my buff you son of an otyugh!!!” (to Spirit Shaman) – “I bet if I smoked those sacred herbs I’d see spirit guides too.” (to Swashbuckler) – “You’re almost as annoying as the Bard, but fortunately for you, you don’t insist on trying to inspire us with your yodeling. Welcome aboard.” (to Swordsage) – “Setting Sun, Tiger’s Claw, Iron Heart…I have a school for you. It’s called the Cyred Institute for the Arcane Arts. What’d it teach me? Fireball!” (to Truenamer) – “If I say your name backwards, will you go away?” (to Warblade) – “Call it martial arts if you want, I still see another chowderhead in plate hitting stuff with a sword.” (to Warlock) – “If angst were talent, you still wouldn’t be half as powerful as me.” (to Warmage) – “Yes, you can blow stuff up with Fireballs and Lightning Bolts. Yes, you can do so from the front line, wearing armor and wielding weapons. But can you cast Prestidigitation? Thought not!” (to Wilder) – You’re almost as bad as the Barbarian, but at least he doesn’t make things blow up when he gets angry.”
TheAnthroDM 12-02-06, 02:25 AM	(to Soulknife) – “And here, between the Monk who fights with no weapons and the Barbarian who fights with anything, we have someone who fights with imaginary weapons. We're like a traveling freakshow that kills people and takes their stuff.” :heehee (to Incarnate) - "First there we clerics without armor, now we have clerics who make up their own armor and can't heal?!" (to Soulborn) - "You're like a Paladin, but at least he's intellegent enough to use REAL weapons" (to Totemist) - "So you're like the Druid but you have to Imagine your own equipment, what is up with you people and you overactive imaginations, damn"
Tacitus_Acheros 12-02-06, 11:41 PM	Not only did I forget the Incarnum-based classes, but I overlooked the Oriental ones as well. (to any Incarnum-based character) "I work with souls too--mainly by separating them from their bodies. You can consider me on the supply side of your field." (to Ninja) "If you're looking to always have the element of surprise, you should try jumping out at people dressed like a clown." (to Samurai) "The only ability of yours I'm interested in is this seppuku thing. Please demonstrate it for me." (to Shugenja) "When I set someone on fire, I don't pretend it makes me some sort of holy man. I do it because it's fun" (to Wu Jen) "The fundamental problem with your philosophy is that you say that Metal is an elemental category of magic. Since it follows then that the meatshield would be a certified wizard due to his skillful use of metal, you are clearly bat---t insane." That's all the standard classes I know of, hopefully everyone's been offended now.
TheAnthroDM 12-03-06, 12:39 AM	Not only did I forget the Incarnum-based classes, but I overlooked the Oriental ones as well. (to any Incarnum-based character) "I work with souls too--mainly by separating them from their bodies. You can consider me on the supply side of your field." (to Ninja) "If you're looking to always have the element of surprise, you should try jumping out at people dressed like a clown." (to Samurai) "The only ability of yours I'm interested in is this seppuku thing. Please demonstrate it for me." (to Shugenja) "When I set someone on fire, I don't pretend it makes me some sort of holy man. I do it because it's fun" (to Wu Jen) "The fundamental problem with your philosophy is that you say that Metal is an elemental category of magic. Since it follows then that the meatshield would be a certified wizard due to his skillful use of metal, you are clearly bat---t insane." That's all the standard classes I know of, hopefully everyone's been offended now. You might consider insult for specific Psion types like Telepath, Seer, ect. Or for Specialist wizards, otherwise you did great thanks for the inspiration.
Alpha_Moose 12-03-06, 12:41 AM	What about the Artificer? I can't make anything of my own, I just cut and past. Also there are prestige classes...
Dharan_Aelorothi 12-03-06, 10:35 AM	Yeah, just to clarify, he's Chaotic Good, so he won't be saying anything evil or psychotic. Favored School:: Evocation (I swear, 24 int gives you SO MANY WAYS TO IGNITE PEOPLE :D) Prohibited Schools:: Necromancy (Bleh, damn crazy people and their playing with dead people...) and Illusion (What, I'm good looking enough already WITHOUT using spells to help ;D) He thinks of himself as a hero, and he's always trying to rescue "damsels in distress." Most of the Black Mage ones are ok, but the ones about enslaving humanity are good (I'm saving them anyway lol) but I don't think I'll use them ingame... :mage: I like this emote! :mage:
Kitaki 12-03-06, 11:25 AM	Go with mostly the condescending ones, you don't have to be evil to think your better than everyone.
Tacitus_Acheros 12-03-06, 12:02 PM	I have a Word document listing prestige classes that's easily 40 pages long, so that's not happening. I don't know anything about the Artificer--sounds like Eberron--and I don't plan on buying books just to look up classes to make fun of. But I guess it's fair to mock the individual disciplines of Wizards and Psions. (to Abjurer) "Why focus on defense when a good Lightning Bolt can remove the threat in the first round?" (to Conjurer) "If we're ever in a situation where our survival depends on a party member's ability to summon a Celestial Dire Badger, I'm joining the Doomguard." (to Diviner) "So you're essentially a perv whose peeping abilities transcend time and space?" (to Enchanter) "Never rely on spells that require your enemy to be rock-stupid. Besides, you'd end up affecting half our party." (to Evoker) (ka-BOOM) "Hah, twelve kobolds, one blast, beat that!" (ka-BOOM) "...one's still twitching. I win." (to Illusionist) (notices laughter of party members) "What?" (looks in mirror, notices a gender-reversing glamer) "Very funny. Ass." (to Necromancer) "What's the point of sending things to their graves if jerks like you make them get up and walk around afterwards?" (to Transmuter) "Why don't you transform yourself into something useful, like a Wand of Fireball?" (to Seer) (whacks Seer over head with staff) "Don't get mad at me, you're the fraud who didn't see it coming." (to Shaper) "Ugh, ectoplasm--everything you construct turns out warm and slightly sticky." (to Kineticist) "I'll get in touch when I need to move that sofa." (to Egoist) "Healing abilities? What do you think the armor-plated bandage over there is for? Geez, you could be saving your energies for pure destruction!" (to Nomad) "So basically you're only useful if we need to run away from something--and I've always found the "Throw the Bard at the Pursuing Monster" plan reliable and satisfying." (to Telepath) "I'm thinking of a word or phrase that describes your utility, can you guess what it is? Didn't like that, huh? Well at least you're not a phony like the Seer." And somehow, I completely overlooked the Dragon Shaman class from PHBII: (to Dragon Shaman) "Never devote yourself to a creature that sees you as a source of income at best or a source of food at worst."
Alpha_Moose 12-03-06, 02:57 PM	The Artificer's a magic item crafting class. Well, let me try it: (to Artificer) "Would you stop playing with your toys and make things that are useful, like wands of fireball!" What race was your guy? There should be some against creatures too.
Dharan_Aelorothi 12-03-06, 05:23 PM	The Artificer's a magic item crafting class. Well, let me try it: (to Artificer) "Would you stop playing with your toys and make things that are useful, like wands of fireball!" What race was your guy? There should be some against creatures too. He's half-elf. Some good ones for orcs and goblins and such would be good, they seem to pop up alot in my friends' campaigns :P Also, for Kitaki Go with mostly the condescending ones, you don't have to be evil to think your better than everyone. I AM using most of the condescending ones, but some sound a bit evil. As of now our party is:: Half-Elf Cleric 8 Human Rogue 8 Elven Ranger 9 Aasimar Paladin 9 Half-Elf Wizard 5/Swashbuckler 3 The cleric used to be a Gnomish druid, but he lost the sheet and everyone made fun of his character anyway, so he's temporarily on Cleric (our sorceror and his brother, our cleric, moved to Austin) until his COUSIN comes down with his Dwarven Cleric. Oh, and my brother plays a dwarf Barbarian occasionally. So yeah, I REALLY digged that class insult (I think it was the Conjurer) about the Celestial Dire Badger, because that was the old druid's animal companion :heehee GOD I hated that thing...
HaikenEdge 12-03-06, 07:18 PM	So yeah, I REALLY digged that class insult (I think it was the Conjurer) about the Celestial Dire Badger, because that was the old druid's animal companion :heehee Hold the presses. Somebody actually uses that thing?!
HorusTheHeretic 12-03-06, 07:29 PM	:bump: I love this thread. It made me want to play a pyromaniacal wizard. Except he's a half-dragon. Sorry for stealing from this thread, but it's just so damn good.:bump:
Tjuk 12-04-06, 05:51 AM	Resistance is futile
Radijs 12-04-06, 09:42 AM	To any enemy: Resistance is futile but entertaining.
DivineDragoonXD 12-05-06, 12:22 AM	From OoTs (Give someone a scroll with something written on it and what they read "I have memorized explosive runes today")
Tacitus_Acheros 12-05-06, 10:38 PM	“…thought I smelled something.” “Greenskins…(spits). And where there’s one there’s a hundred of them.” “Orcs. Their stench fills the air.” "The horde approaches...remember, wild, uncontrolled bursts." “We need to distract these goblins—anyone have a mirror? I'm looking at you, Bard.” “Don’t underestimate the orcs’ technology. They discovered fire last month, and greenskin scientists are feverishly working on the wheel.” “You see a mob of orcs? I see a bunch of unlit candles.” “As a half-human, I find orcs greatly disturbing. Their existence means that at some point in the distant past, one of my ancestors' relatives married a pig.” “I love fighting goblins! They keep coming and coming, and always bunch up into tight, flammable groups!” “I’d try to disguise my stunning features as an orc’s, but even my power has a limit.” "It takes one sorry culture to make kobolds seem dignified and sophisticated, but the goblins pulled it off." "Orcs are easy to sneak past--just cover your eyes with your hands and they think they can't see you." “We need to keep these orcs busy until their rage subsides. (telekinetically throws Bard into them). “Heheh, two birds, one arrow.” "Don't demean goblins! The only reasons they haven't taken over the world are their gross stupidity, puniness, inability to form more than the simplest of plans, laziness, poor hygiene (physical and mental), short attention spans, crippling tendency towards infighting, underdeveloped brains, and penchant for cannibalism." "I will" (kaboom!) "never" (zzap!) "get tired of killing these things!" (ka-BOOM!) Hold the presses. Somebody actually uses that thing?![the Celestial Dire Badger] As anyone who bought a lot of the Deathknell minis set will tell you, I ended up with so many of the damn things I might as well use one.
Spelljammer 12-06-06, 10:16 AM	"Bored Now" I had my Warmage say that before setting an enemy on fire. Everyone really got a kick out of it. (Even better if you know what spell to REALLY use for that phrase. :) )
TheAnthroDM 12-06-06, 08:15 PM	"Bored Now" I had my Warmage say that before setting an enemy on fire. Everyone really got a kick out of it. (Even better if you know what spell to REALLY use for that phrase. :) ) My Kinetist did that, only he set a peasant on fire... the party still laughed but we were asked to leave the tavern.
HorusTheHeretic 12-07-06, 10:24 PM	(When surrounded by many foes.) Hmmm... Hundreds of them vs. you useless bastards and me. (Sigh.) **** poor odds for the little guys...
Lycanthromancer 12-09-06, 03:37 PM	When your 20th-level wizard is surrounded by 15 very angry CR 27 great wyrm gold dragons, and he wins initiative: "I'd run away, if I were you. You DID know I was capable of doing 1,008,000d6 damage with a single 5th-level spell...right?" ...Or not.
Dharan_Aelorothi 12-09-06, 08:26 PM	Ok... I think Tacitus_Acheros is winning so far... Keep adding them, you have to beat him! Right? RIGHT??? “…thought I smelled something.” “Greenskins…(spits). And where there’s one there’s a hundred of them.” I remember something like this from Dawn of War... Space Marine scouts? As anyone who bought a lot of the Deathknell minis set will tell you, I ended up with so many of the damn things I might as well use one. Yeah, that's my life story... I pretty much stopped buying them now (Waldenbooks keeps jacking up the prices by $2 intervals, monthly) I remember the good old days when you could get a pack for $9... Now they're $13.95 at my Walden... and my Barnes & Noble doesn't sell them... Anyway, completely off topic (and wrong forum >.>), I think I'm going to make a Shadovar... something.... probably rogue or fighter... slash Shadowdancer... or even blackguard... to commemorate the book Shadowbred.... I make characters for fun, and I use them ALL frequently, whether I'm DMing or rp'ing like 6 different players (shortage of geeks in our backwater town), so don't think I'm giving up on Vheddan! :mage: Ok, enough ranting! Keep them coming! :mage:
Lycanthromancer 12-09-06, 10:42 PM	"We psions Bend Reality to our will. It would take a Miracle for a cleric to do so, and wizards just Wish they could." Oops. Wrong class.
Manyfist 12-10-06, 12:11 PM	A cocky wizard? How about a Hyperactive cocky wizard? "I am going to be the Arch Mage! Believe it!" " I am a Wizard, Wizard, Wizard! Believe it!" (Sorry poking fun of Naruto too pass up). Serious: "Shut your mouth and take a fireball to the FACE!" "I get less lip from you if you were dead... I can arrange that if you want to keep talking."
TwoPi 12-15-06, 05:34 AM	"So many ways to kill you, and so little time" "When life gives you monsters, blow them up" "Not only can I cast massive spells, rival the gods with my knowledge and look good doing it, but I am modest as well" "Whats a nice girl like you doing in a dugeon like this?" "What? Waste one of my spells on something that common? The fighter can take care of it"
Alakar 12-15-06, 06:26 PM	"What!? You've contracted lycanthropy? Go bug the cleric, I have research to do! Now, where did I put that book on succubus anatomy..."
Nurlithion 12-17-06, 05:24 AM	Okay, I got one for you to say to a spellthief as well. "Hey, you, give me back my fireba--- oh, damn, I shouldn't have said that..."
Magon 12-17-06, 04:50 PM	"when in doubt, set something on fire" to the palladin "yeah, you may have cerlestial blood in your veins and golden eys, and be a great worrier of good. but can you tost you enemies? CAN you?"
TheAngryFish 12-17-06, 10:06 PM	Some day, someone will best me, but it won't be you and it won't be today :evillaugh
Griff 12-18-06, 11:47 AM	"now, all you have are arrows, and the vain hope that when you've let them fly i'll be dead... because if im not you'll all be toast" (after threat of re-enforcements) "Reinforcements? Pah! thats not the point is it. the point is you'll be dead"
darksyngr 12-18-06, 09:23 PM	I had a friend who played the smart-ass wizard and was something of a 'player'. He often said in-game his favorite spell was 'Open/Close' and liked to use it on legs.