Alth Shrenan [Archive] - Wizards Community

Alth Shrenan [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Radijs
07-21-06, 06:51 AM In the world where this takes place a long war started by the dictatorial gnome republic has just ended. The gnomes where responsible for the systematical eradication of a great number of arcanists using a lot of WW2 third Reich methods.

Alth Shrenan was born in a large river city in the sub community of whisper gnomes that lived within the gnomish district. He spent most of his early childhood playing in the streets doing the usual things young boys do. Causing mischief, nicking the occasional penny to buy sweets. This went on for quite some time until one of his friends came with something new. A new place where they could play with really cool toys, bows, crossbows, swords etc. And lured in by all these cool toys Alth signed up for the GYRE or Gnomish Youth Recruiting Effort and over time transferred to the mage bane academy where he was trained in the arts of dealing with all types of spell casters. And then the war came. Alth was pressed into service hunting down the evil witches and wizards and he served loyally for the greater benefit of the gnomish race, until he found out what they did to the people he caught. What happened in the prison camps was downright evil. That’s when Alth began to earn his nickname "Waterman" because he was spilling blood like water. At least that’s what his superiors thought.
Instead he has sought out a small resistance cell and became a turncoat choosing to help the people he was hunting out of the cities and if possible out of the country often faking their deaths so as not to arouse suspicion.
And he kept doing this for quite a long time adding a notch to his crossbow for every wizard he "killed".
But he was found out and arrested. The secret police lifted him off his bed one night and tortured him to find out who he was working with.
Alth kept his mouth shut while they poured boiling water over him. Whipped him tearing bits of flesh off him with every lash and broke all his fingers.
In the end he did break and told the inquisitors all he knew but he held out long enough. The resistance had caught wind of what had happened and pulled out leaving nothing for the soldiers to find save a few booby traps.

So they took their failure out on Alth. They beat him an inch away from his life and then sent him to the prison camps classified as a rogue sorcerer.
He would have died there save for a feat of amazing luck. A few wizards who he had helped escape the city recognized him and took care of him while he healed.
And once when he could walk around again he quickly made himself useful by working his way into the camps administration. He knew a lot of different languages so he was put to work as a scribe and there he continued his struggle against his evil countrymen. Every time he could he pardoned someone from the camp and set them free. But as time passed he knew that someone was on his trail. So he wrote his own pardon and escaped the camp.

He disappeared from the war for a while but when he heard that the elven kingdom allied itself in a war against the republic he joined with the resistance again committing acts of sabotage and terrorism to hasten the downfall of the gnome republic.

And finally the war was over. Peace and happiness would return. Well not for Alth. A few weeks after the surrender elven soldiers knocked on his door with an arrest warrant. War crimes, crimes against humanoid-kind. They recovered his dossier from the archives and wanted to execute him for the people he killed before he became a turncoat. He slammed the door in their faces and did a runner. He dyed his hair and adopted a new name "Glimni Hepfoodle" in order to hide from his persecutors.

Comments, suggestions?
Radijs
07-23-06, 11:06 AM I believe I can legally :bump: this thread now.

Of the 21 people who viewed this thread everyone was stunned into silence yes?
Syltorian
07-23-06, 12:29 PM The first question that came to my mind is "what is he doing now?" I assume here you want him as a PC instead of an NPC; if that assumption is wrong than there should be no problem. Basically, what are his current motivations? Does he simply want to hide himself and wait to die of old age, or does he have some ulterior plan - secure his pardon, join a new resistance, escape the country?

Also, a minor detail, but it is somewhat astonishing that he managed to enter administration in the prison camp. It is true that slaves and prisoners were sometimes used as clerks, but Alth was a proven traitor. Do you really want to give a person who is known to have been part of an underground network helping 'criminals' escape the power to write pardons, and then fail to double-check? The Secret Police seems to have been rather intelligent, so they would most likely not have committed such a blunder.

Don't scrap the idea, though; but I believe you need something more here to make this work. For instance, rather than signing pardons himself, he might have been a mere errand boy or help force with no real power, but access to the archives and the ability to forge some other clerk's handwriting, or orders from the government. He needs to have been quite good at forging things to secure his own pardon, too.

Especially if the police knew he was even near the piece of paper that granted it, they would have triple-checked it, regarding as he was a known turncoat with influence and connections to a network they had failed to capture. Logic would have said that the pardon was forged by these friends (unless one of them was part of the investigation into this).

Otherwise, it seems like a good story. :) Is the world your own?
Radijs
07-23-06, 02:26 PM Thanks for the feedback. Have a :cookie:

Your arguments make a lot of sense, its something I'm gonna change.

The world isn't my own but at the same time it is.
A large part of the gnome republic and the war was based of WW2 and since my DM stole from the real world so did I.

My granddad was sent to Camp Amersfoort where he worked as a clerk (though he was an inmate) and set a lot of people free before signing himself free. He never talked about it himself but I heard stories from my dad.
Radijs
07-24-06, 09:07 AM In the world where this takes place a long war started by the dictatorial gnome republic has just ended. The gnomes where responsible for the systematical eradication of a great number of arcanists using a lot of WW2 third Reich methods.

Alth Shrenan was born in a large river city in the sub community of whisper gnomes that lived within the gnomish district. He spent most of his early childhood playing in the streets doing the usual things young boys do. Causing mischief, nicking the occasional penny to buy sweets. This went on for quite some time until one of his friends came with something new. A new place where they could play with really cool toys, bows, crossbows, swords etc. And lured in by all these cool toys Alth signed up for the GYRE or Gnomish Youth Recruiting Effort and over time transferred to the mage bane academy where he was trained in the arts of dealing with all types of spell casters. And then the war came. Alth was pressed into service hunting down the evil witches and wizards and he served loyally for the greater benefit of the gnomish race, until he found out what they did to the people he caught. What happened in the prison camps was downright evil. That’s when Alth began to earn his nickname "Waterman" because he was spilling blood like water. At least that’s what his superiors thought.
Instead he has sought out a small resistance cell and became a turncoat choosing to help the people he was hunting out of the cities and if possible out of the country often faking their deaths so as not to arouse suspicion.
And he kept doing this for quite a long time adding a notch to his crossbow for every wizard he "killed".
But he was found out and arrested. The secret police lifted him off his bed one night and tortured him to find out who he was working with.
Alth kept his mouth shut while they poured boiling water over him. Whipped him tearing bits of flesh off him with every lash and broke all his fingers.
In the end he did break and told the inquisitors all he knew but he held out long enough. The resistance had caught wind of what had happened and pulled out leaving nothing for the soldiers to find save a few booby traps.

So they took their failure out on Alth. They beat him an inch away from his life and then sent him to the prison camps classified as a rogue sorcerer.
He would have died there save for a feat of amazing luck. A few wizards who he had helped escape the city recognized him and took care of him while he healed.
And once when he could walk around again he quickly made himself useful by working his way into the camps administration. He knew a lot of different languages so he was put to work as a scribe's assistant and there he continued his struggle against his evil countrymen. Every time he could he pardoned someone from the camp and set them free, usually by forging the clerk's signature or by nicking his sealing wax and seal. But as time passed he knew that someone was on his trail. So he wrote his own pardon and escaped the camp in order to go into hiding.

He disappeared from the war for a while but when he heard that the elven kingdom allied itself in a war against the republic he joined with the resistance again committing acts of sabotage and terrorism to hasten the downfall of the gnome republic.

And finally the war was over. Peace and happiness would return. Well not for Alth. A few weeks after the surrender elven soldiers knocked on his door with an arrest warrant. War crimes, crimes against humanoid-kind. They recovered his dossier from the archives and wanted to execute him for the people he killed before he became a turncoat. He slammed the door in their faces and did a runner. He dyed his hair and adopted a new name "Glimni Hepfoodle" in order to hide from his persecutors. Though he had hidden himself quite well in the last few months erasing any trail that could lead to his location he felt unhappy with his quiet lifestyle and still disgruntled over what had happened to him. He was supposed to be a bloody hero, not a war criminal after all!

So it was time for another daring action. Posing as a relative of himself he returned to the capital and he began to sort out the mess. He knew the location of a few resistance weapon stashes that where overlooked after the war was over. With the money he got from selling those weapons he sought out people he helped, relatives of people he helped in order to get their testimonies and he began to build evidence to support his bid for freedom and justice.
He turned himself in and his arrest was followed by a long and strenuous amount of time spent debating the facts with lawyers and judges but his name was cleared in the end and now he's ready for some real action!
Need_A_Life
07-24-06, 09:13 AM A nice story.

Bravo

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Radijs 07-21-06, 06:51 AM	In the world where this takes place a long war started by the dictatorial gnome republic has just ended. The gnomes where responsible for the systematical eradication of a great number of arcanists using a lot of WW2 third Reich methods. Alth Shrenan was born in a large river city in the sub community of whisper gnomes that lived within the gnomish district. He spent most of his early childhood playing in the streets doing the usual things young boys do. Causing mischief, nicking the occasional penny to buy sweets. This went on for quite some time until one of his friends came with something new. A new place where they could play with really cool toys, bows, crossbows, swords etc. And lured in by all these cool toys Alth signed up for the GYRE or Gnomish Youth Recruiting Effort and over time transferred to the mage bane academy where he was trained in the arts of dealing with all types of spell casters. And then the war came. Alth was pressed into service hunting down the evil witches and wizards and he served loyally for the greater benefit of the gnomish race, until he found out what they did to the people he caught. What happened in the prison camps was downright evil. That’s when Alth began to earn his nickname "Waterman" because he was spilling blood like water. At least that’s what his superiors thought. Instead he has sought out a small resistance cell and became a turncoat choosing to help the people he was hunting out of the cities and if possible out of the country often faking their deaths so as not to arouse suspicion. And he kept doing this for quite a long time adding a notch to his crossbow for every wizard he "killed". But he was found out and arrested. The secret police lifted him off his bed one night and tortured him to find out who he was working with. Alth kept his mouth shut while they poured boiling water over him. Whipped him tearing bits of flesh off him with every lash and broke all his fingers. In the end he did break and told the inquisitors all he knew but he held out long enough. The resistance had caught wind of what had happened and pulled out leaving nothing for the soldiers to find save a few booby traps. So they took their failure out on Alth. They beat him an inch away from his life and then sent him to the prison camps classified as a rogue sorcerer. He would have died there save for a feat of amazing luck. A few wizards who he had helped escape the city recognized him and took care of him while he healed. And once when he could walk around again he quickly made himself useful by working his way into the camps administration. He knew a lot of different languages so he was put to work as a scribe and there he continued his struggle against his evil countrymen. Every time he could he pardoned someone from the camp and set them free. But as time passed he knew that someone was on his trail. So he wrote his own pardon and escaped the camp. He disappeared from the war for a while but when he heard that the elven kingdom allied itself in a war against the republic he joined with the resistance again committing acts of sabotage and terrorism to hasten the downfall of the gnome republic. And finally the war was over. Peace and happiness would return. Well not for Alth. A few weeks after the surrender elven soldiers knocked on his door with an arrest warrant. War crimes, crimes against humanoid-kind. They recovered his dossier from the archives and wanted to execute him for the people he killed before he became a turncoat. He slammed the door in their faces and did a runner. He dyed his hair and adopted a new name "Glimni Hepfoodle" in order to hide from his persecutors. Comments, suggestions?
Radijs 07-23-06, 11:06 AM	I believe I can legally :bump: this thread now. Of the 21 people who viewed this thread everyone was stunned into silence yes?
Syltorian 07-23-06, 12:29 PM	The first question that came to my mind is "what is he doing now?" I assume here you want him as a PC instead of an NPC; if that assumption is wrong than there should be no problem. Basically, what are his current motivations? Does he simply want to hide himself and wait to die of old age, or does he have some ulterior plan - secure his pardon, join a new resistance, escape the country? Also, a minor detail, but it is somewhat astonishing that he managed to enter administration in the prison camp. It is true that slaves and prisoners were sometimes used as clerks, but Alth was a proven traitor. Do you really want to give a person who is known to have been part of an underground network helping 'criminals' escape the power to write pardons, and then fail to double-check? The Secret Police seems to have been rather intelligent, so they would most likely not have committed such a blunder. Don't scrap the idea, though; but I believe you need something more here to make this work. For instance, rather than signing pardons himself, he might have been a mere errand boy or help force with no real power, but access to the archives and the ability to forge some other clerk's handwriting, or orders from the government. He needs to have been quite good at forging things to secure his own pardon, too. Especially if the police knew he was even near the piece of paper that granted it, they would have triple-checked it, regarding as he was a known turncoat with influence and connections to a network they had failed to capture. Logic would have said that the pardon was forged by these friends (unless one of them was part of the investigation into this). Otherwise, it seems like a good story. :) Is the world your own?
Radijs 07-23-06, 02:26 PM	Thanks for the feedback. Have a :cookie: Your arguments make a lot of sense, its something I'm gonna change. The world isn't my own but at the same time it is. A large part of the gnome republic and the war was based of WW2 and since my DM stole from the real world so did I. My granddad was sent to Camp Amersfoort where he worked as a clerk (though he was an inmate) and set a lot of people free before signing himself free. He never talked about it himself but I heard stories from my dad.
Radijs 07-24-06, 09:07 AM	In the world where this takes place a long war started by the dictatorial gnome republic has just ended. The gnomes where responsible for the systematical eradication of a great number of arcanists using a lot of WW2 third Reich methods. Alth Shrenan was born in a large river city in the sub community of whisper gnomes that lived within the gnomish district. He spent most of his early childhood playing in the streets doing the usual things young boys do. Causing mischief, nicking the occasional penny to buy sweets. This went on for quite some time until one of his friends came with something new. A new place where they could play with really cool toys, bows, crossbows, swords etc. And lured in by all these cool toys Alth signed up for the GYRE or Gnomish Youth Recruiting Effort and over time transferred to the mage bane academy where he was trained in the arts of dealing with all types of spell casters. And then the war came. Alth was pressed into service hunting down the evil witches and wizards and he served loyally for the greater benefit of the gnomish race, until he found out what they did to the people he caught. What happened in the prison camps was downright evil. That’s when Alth began to earn his nickname "Waterman" because he was spilling blood like water. At least that’s what his superiors thought. Instead he has sought out a small resistance cell and became a turncoat choosing to help the people he was hunting out of the cities and if possible out of the country often faking their deaths so as not to arouse suspicion. And he kept doing this for quite a long time adding a notch to his crossbow for every wizard he "killed". But he was found out and arrested. The secret police lifted him off his bed one night and tortured him to find out who he was working with. Alth kept his mouth shut while they poured boiling water over him. Whipped him tearing bits of flesh off him with every lash and broke all his fingers. In the end he did break and told the inquisitors all he knew but he held out long enough. The resistance had caught wind of what had happened and pulled out leaving nothing for the soldiers to find save a few booby traps. So they took their failure out on Alth. They beat him an inch away from his life and then sent him to the prison camps classified as a rogue sorcerer. He would have died there save for a feat of amazing luck. A few wizards who he had helped escape the city recognized him and took care of him while he healed. And once when he could walk around again he quickly made himself useful by working his way into the camps administration. He knew a lot of different languages so he was put to work as a scribe's assistant and there he continued his struggle against his evil countrymen. Every time he could he pardoned someone from the camp and set them free, usually by forging the clerk's signature or by nicking his sealing wax and seal. But as time passed he knew that someone was on his trail. So he wrote his own pardon and escaped the camp in order to go into hiding. He disappeared from the war for a while but when he heard that the elven kingdom allied itself in a war against the republic he joined with the resistance again committing acts of sabotage and terrorism to hasten the downfall of the gnome republic. And finally the war was over. Peace and happiness would return. Well not for Alth. A few weeks after the surrender elven soldiers knocked on his door with an arrest warrant. War crimes, crimes against humanoid-kind. They recovered his dossier from the archives and wanted to execute him for the people he killed before he became a turncoat. He slammed the door in their faces and did a runner. He dyed his hair and adopted a new name "Glimni Hepfoodle" in order to hide from his persecutors. Though he had hidden himself quite well in the last few months erasing any trail that could lead to his location he felt unhappy with his quiet lifestyle and still disgruntled over what had happened to him. He was supposed to be a bloody hero, not a war criminal after all! So it was time for another daring action. Posing as a relative of himself he returned to the capital and he began to sort out the mess. He knew the location of a few resistance weapon stashes that where overlooked after the war was over. With the money he got from selling those weapons he sought out people he helped, relatives of people he helped in order to get their testimonies and he began to build evidence to support his bid for freedom and justice. He turned himself in and his arrest was followed by a long and strenuous amount of time spent debating the facts with lawyers and judges but his name was cleared in the end and now he's ready for some real action!
Need_A_Life 07-24-06, 09:13 AM	A nice story. Bravo