Awesome bio needs creative help! [Archive] - Wizards Community

Awesome bio needs creative help! [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Raven Dark
01-27-06, 11:08 PM Well, here it is. I was hoping you English majors could help me make it better.

Also, if any of you creative types know how to make this character background better, please offer your advice.

Thanks in advance!

CHARACTER BACKGROUND
Appearance: Cadeus is dark in both appearance and mood. With his long white hair, dark ruddy skin, chiseled features, and intense gaze, he has an air of power about him that few others can match. He would be considered handsome if only it weren’t for his frightening appearance.

Clothing: Cadeus prefers black clothes of various kinds (the so-called Mourningwear worn by so many Cyran refugees). He disdains the typical robes common to spellcasters, realizing that such garments would only make him an obvious target to enemies. He also prefers clothing that allows him to easily hide material components and devices that may not be socially acceptable, such as humanoid finger bones, poison, and the like.

Personality: Those who know him say Cadeus was touched by Xoriat in his grief. Despite his intermittent madness, he is very cunning and keenly aware of his surroundings. He has become a masochist of sorts, scarring his arms with sharp instruments in order to keep his mind clear from thoughts of his horrific past. It is only through the blurred redness of the physical pain that he can escape the tormenting images of his two beloved children, Lorai and Daltin. Like the Children of Winter sect, he believes that death is inevitable and that only the strong will survive the coming of the end of the current age. To this end, he seeks out extremely violent mercenary jobs, both to make himself stronger and to further study the nature of life and death.

Region of Origin: Cadeus grew up in Eston, Cyre as a cleric of the Sovereign Host up until the Day of Mourning. Having lost everything on that tragic day, he began traveling the world taking on the most violent jobs he could find—utilizing new, darker powers.

History/Background: Cadeus and his young brother, Gedrel Harkon, were visiting a sister church in Seaside, the City of Sails, when the dead gray mist appeared and engulfed everything. With hundreds of other terrified citizens, the Harkon brothers huddled on the nearby docks only feet from the mist’s deadly touch. Fearful for the wellbeing of his friends, Gedrel ventured into the strange mist on the first day; only to collapse and die the moment he set foot upon the land. After seeing his brother fall, Cadeus ran to him only to be tackled by several burly sailors. It took six men to hold Cadeus back as the mist enveloped Gedrel’s corpse.

Survivors crazed with grief and desperate to see what happened to their kin, dared the mist on the second day…and were unharmed. The search of Seaside for survivors began. No bodies were found however, not even Cadeus’ younger brother. Worried for the rest of his family, Cadeus trekked across the blasted graveyard of his country to his hometown of Eston. He found the remains of his old home, but found not but a nightmare that would torment him everlasting. His two young children had hidden themselves in a closet in fear. Lorai and Daltin’s charred remains lay there still, the surrounding closet walls having protected them from the eldritch energies like so much parchment. The sight shattered Cadeus’ resolve and he had to be forcefully removed from the Mournlands. His wife, Erine, was never found.
Like so many others that day, Cadeus’ life changed forever. He lost all faith in his church, fell into a deep depression, and was nearly killed by a unique magical disease which robbed him of his health (the disease is presumed to have originated from the Mournland). Mad with grief, Cadeus attempted to end his life by throwing himself bodily into the raging rocky river rapids of the Dagger River in Southern Breland. Fate, however, simply refused to end his misery. As his body lay broken upon the rocks, a pair of poachers, who had been hunting illegally nearby, pulled him from the river and carried him to the nearest city for treatment.

In the coming months after his attempted suicide, all that was left for his mutilated body was pain, an endless blur of throbbing agony and heartache. In the end, it was in this pain that he found clarity. On the first anniversary of the Day of Mourning he chose a new spiritual path, one he believed would grant him powers over life and death—the power, he hoped, to bring his family back together again.

Character Hook: You cannot kill a man who is already dead!

Other: Cadeus is a powerful spellcaster (Cleric 13/Heirophant 2) in Eberron who has great power over life and death (he has the domains of the same name). He uses so many defensive buffs, he is nearly impossible to kill via hit point damage. What's more, he has the Arcane Defense (necromancy) feat, allowing him to beat most death affects with little trouble. He travels the world in hopes of being reunited with his family (on this side of eternity) someday. He used to be a good man in his past, but he has since fallen into neutrality. If he keeps following his current path, however, he may well become neutral evil. He specializes in healing and death magics. His mastery of the necromantic arts is so powerful that anybody he kills with a death spell returns as a ghost under his control. Unfortunately, he still does not have the ability to bring his family back to life.
Raven Dark
01-28-06, 03:54 PM 20 views and no replies...?

:weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:
Jon of the North
01-28-06, 08:55 PM It's a little... I'm not sure. The black cloths, the self mutalation (sic), the tragic past, it's a bit much. All in all though, if you enjoy the character and like playing him, then go for it. It's not bad writing and a good begining. One bit of advice; don't open up with your origin. Tell the GM, but not the other players. A guy like Cadeus isn't going to be the talkitive type, especially with people he barely knows.
Good luck and good game.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Raven Dark 01-27-06, 11:08 PM	Well, here it is. I was hoping you English majors could help me make it better. Also, if any of you creative types know how to make this character background better, please offer your advice. Thanks in advance! CHARACTER BACKGROUND Appearance: Cadeus is dark in both appearance and mood. With his long white hair, dark ruddy skin, chiseled features, and intense gaze, he has an air of power about him that few others can match. He would be considered handsome if only it weren’t for his frightening appearance. Clothing: Cadeus prefers black clothes of various kinds (the so-called Mourningwear worn by so many Cyran refugees). He disdains the typical robes common to spellcasters, realizing that such garments would only make him an obvious target to enemies. He also prefers clothing that allows him to easily hide material components and devices that may not be socially acceptable, such as humanoid finger bones, poison, and the like. Personality: Those who know him say Cadeus was touched by Xoriat in his grief. Despite his intermittent madness, he is very cunning and keenly aware of his surroundings. He has become a masochist of sorts, scarring his arms with sharp instruments in order to keep his mind clear from thoughts of his horrific past. It is only through the blurred redness of the physical pain that he can escape the tormenting images of his two beloved children, Lorai and Daltin. Like the Children of Winter sect, he believes that death is inevitable and that only the strong will survive the coming of the end of the current age. To this end, he seeks out extremely violent mercenary jobs, both to make himself stronger and to further study the nature of life and death. Region of Origin: Cadeus grew up in Eston, Cyre as a cleric of the Sovereign Host up until the Day of Mourning. Having lost everything on that tragic day, he began traveling the world taking on the most violent jobs he could find—utilizing new, darker powers. History/Background: Cadeus and his young brother, Gedrel Harkon, were visiting a sister church in Seaside, the City of Sails, when the dead gray mist appeared and engulfed everything. With hundreds of other terrified citizens, the Harkon brothers huddled on the nearby docks only feet from the mist’s deadly touch. Fearful for the wellbeing of his friends, Gedrel ventured into the strange mist on the first day; only to collapse and die the moment he set foot upon the land. After seeing his brother fall, Cadeus ran to him only to be tackled by several burly sailors. It took six men to hold Cadeus back as the mist enveloped Gedrel’s corpse. Survivors crazed with grief and desperate to see what happened to their kin, dared the mist on the second day…and were unharmed. The search of Seaside for survivors began. No bodies were found however, not even Cadeus’ younger brother. Worried for the rest of his family, Cadeus trekked across the blasted graveyard of his country to his hometown of Eston. He found the remains of his old home, but found not but a nightmare that would torment him everlasting. His two young children had hidden themselves in a closet in fear. Lorai and Daltin’s charred remains lay there still, the surrounding closet walls having protected them from the eldritch energies like so much parchment. The sight shattered Cadeus’ resolve and he had to be forcefully removed from the Mournlands. His wife, Erine, was never found. Like so many others that day, Cadeus’ life changed forever. He lost all faith in his church, fell into a deep depression, and was nearly killed by a unique magical disease which robbed him of his health (the disease is presumed to have originated from the Mournland). Mad with grief, Cadeus attempted to end his life by throwing himself bodily into the raging rocky river rapids of the Dagger River in Southern Breland. Fate, however, simply refused to end his misery. As his body lay broken upon the rocks, a pair of poachers, who had been hunting illegally nearby, pulled him from the river and carried him to the nearest city for treatment. In the coming months after his attempted suicide, all that was left for his mutilated body was pain, an endless blur of throbbing agony and heartache. In the end, it was in this pain that he found clarity. On the first anniversary of the Day of Mourning he chose a new spiritual path, one he believed would grant him powers over life and death—the power, he hoped, to bring his family back together again. Character Hook: You cannot kill a man who is already dead! Other: Cadeus is a powerful spellcaster (Cleric 13/Heirophant 2) in Eberron who has great power over life and death (he has the domains of the same name). He uses so many defensive buffs, he is nearly impossible to kill via hit point damage. What's more, he has the Arcane Defense (necromancy) feat, allowing him to beat most death affects with little trouble. He travels the world in hopes of being reunited with his family (on this side of eternity) someday. He used to be a good man in his past, but he has since fallen into neutrality. If he keeps following his current path, however, he may well become neutral evil. He specializes in healing and death magics. His mastery of the necromantic arts is so powerful that anybody he kills with a death spell returns as a ghost under his control. Unfortunately, he still does not have the ability to bring his family back to life.
Raven Dark 01-28-06, 03:54 PM	20 views and no replies...? :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:
Jon of the North 01-28-06, 08:55 PM	It's a little... I'm not sure. The black cloths, the self mutalation (sic), the tragic past, it's a bit much. All in all though, if you enjoy the character and like playing him, then go for it. It's not bad writing and a good begining. One bit of advice; don't open up with your origin. Tell the GM, but not the other players. A guy like Cadeus isn't going to be the talkitive type, especially with people he barely knows. Good luck and good game.