awful Evil Halfling Dread Necromancer (critique) [Archive] - Wizards Community

awful Evil Halfling Dread Necromancer (critique) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
BloodSpill
02-27-06, 12:59 PM Please let me know if I have any plot holes because I'm not much one for writing character backgrounds. I also tend to have sentences that are too long and probably don't know enough conventions.

Thanks in advance.

Name: Bren (meaning Black, cold, dark or night) from Races of the Wild, rolled randomly (!!)
Race: Halfling
Gender: Unknown
Level: Dread Necromancer 35 (!)

Halflings usually aren’t afraid of death, so they simply don’t have reason to dabble in necromancy. Bren was different, but only through circumstance.
Bren’s family was part of a wandering halfling caravan. All considered Bren was a normal halfling child and was happy, cheerful and sociable.

One day the caravan was passing through a forest between humanoid settlements in some countryside, of which country in particular doesn’t really matter. At age 12, Bren was eager and curious and liked to explore the surrounding countryside, sometimes with a friend. This time was different, because Bren got lost.

Now usually halflings won’t get lost, or if they do they’re quickly searched for and found, but for some unknown reason Bren’s case was different. Lost and alone in an untamed forest and unable to find the caravan, Bren was forced to do whatever it took to survive. Finding food wasn’t too difficult, but hiding from the more dangerous creatures took its toll. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, except when it wears away at your mind. Bren didn’t feel angry at being left behind, obviously it wasn’t on purpose.

Bren stumbled into a cavern a few days later after narrowly escaping being mauled by some large carnivorous animal, and once again became hopelessly lost. Without a lightsource or any sense of direction, Bren kept wandering for days through a seemingly endless maze of tunnels and caverns. Eventually Bren saw light around a bend in the tunnel and investigated, only to be caught as food for a band of goblins. This would have been the end of Bren’s story if not for a passerby necromancer, whom slew the band of goblins because going through them was easier than going around. The necromancer and his minions discovered Bren and the necromancer was slightly impressed with the calm that Bren possessed in the presence of his skeletons. He took Bren with him, to a small settlement in a cavern of like-minded practisioners that lived underground so as to secret their research away from those on the surface that might wish it destroyed.

The necromancer taught Bren the ways of magic and necromancy. Himself a wizard, was surprised when Bren developed a knack for sorcerery steeped in necromancy. It was the rare talent of a dread necromancer, manifested as the ability to drain away life with just a touch. The necromancer was pleased and schooled Bren further, and gave Bren a scroll of animate dead and a corpse of a goblin. Bren managed to successfully cast the spell even if it was far beyond Bren’s experience. Bren called the skeletal goblin Lucky.

Bren’s mentor wanted to test a new spell the cadre of underdwelling necromancers had derived in their persuit of immortality through undeath. The spell was cast upon Bren’s Lucky and gave it sentience. Bren now had a semi-friend. Even though Lucky did not act or think the same way a living creature would only ever followed commands, it still was now able to protect Bren in the darkness.

Finally the necromancers found what they were looking for and each underwent the ritual to become a Necropolitan. Bren’s mentor suggested Bren to undergo the procedure as well, but the others refused. They were not sure if Bren would even survive it.

Years later Bren and the necromancers had moved into an even larger cavern. The news of their discovery was causing many outsider necromancers to petition to join their ranks, so it had been apparent they must move to provide space for an entire city of Necropolitan necromancers. Still Bren had not been considered for the ritual. At this time Bren had progressed into a capable necromancer and was a minor commander of the city’s undead armed forces. The city prospered so much due to the ability of the necromancers to create intelligent, obedient and never tiring servants that outside forces began to consider it a threat.

The city was infiltrated by powerful adventurers, disguised by strong transmutation magic. Since they were still far outmatched though, they brought hundreds of small crystal spheres that they secreted evenly across the city. When they had completed their task they retreated and activated the spheres. For a full minute the city was brightly lit as each sphere connected to every sphere nearby and output huge amounts of positive energy. Every Necropolitan and every animated servant was destroyed.

The adventurers were pleased with their work and strode into the bone and corpse filled streets, slashing to pieces any neophyte or ritual petitioner. They searched the city for any survivors and looted all the wealth and magic items they could find. It was a large task that would take them days.

Bren had survived, having not been made into an undead by the ritual. Bren’s mentor and every other citizen Bren knew in the city had been utterly destroyed, turned to dust. Even Lucky, Bren’s first skeletal minion was gone. Bren was shocked by the loss of all that was familiar, but also saw the opportunity that lay ahead. All those superior had been removed.

The bodies of the living that were slain by the adventurers were left in the streets so Bren had a few opportunities to bring to animate some servitors. Bren followed the adventurers and it quickly became apparent that they were so sure of themselves that they neglected any magical protection when they stopped to rest, leaving only one member of their party on guard duty.

A few nights after the cataclysm Bren quietly snuck near to where the adventurers were sleeping. Quietly, Bren cast the spell magic jar and attacked the life force of the adventurer on watch. The adventurer tried to resist but from Bren’s point of view the magic worked perfectly. Bren, in the body of the adventurer quickly went about snuffing out the life forces of the sleeping members. Done, Bren ordered the skeletons into the building. they brought the crystal, Bren’s body and a draught of paralysis that was promptly downed. The body stiffened as Bren allowed the effect to set in, then returned through the gem into halfling form.

The adventurer awoke, his memory modified by Bren’s scroll, to find his friends slain and mutilated, apparently by his own hand. Skeletons knelt around him, as if in supplication. Horrified he ran out of the building. The skeletons followed him, but he lashed out with his sword, easily dropping one. They did not retaliate, but a few seconds later he heard the footsteps of another skeleton coming to replace the one he had destroyed. He tried to outpace the skeletons but they were remarkably fast and nimble, even able to back away from his blows much of the time. When he dropped one, another would replace it, so four skeletons were always with him. They did not approach him when he finally could not stay conscious any longer, and did not attack him whilst he slept.

Once again the adventurer awoke to find himself where he had fallen the night before, the skeletons exactly where he had last seen them. The man started to forget to be afraid, or angry at these skeletons. For some reason they were following him and he had murdered his friends. The man was deeply disturbed by these happenings, but his resolve was still strong. He lashed out and destroyed the skeletons with one slice of his blade each. Four more came, and he destroyed those also. Twelve more. Then it was quiet. The man thought he had rid himself of the undead.

Then he heard something, slow, shuffling footsteps. He could not pinpoint the source, so retreated around a corner. There he saw his companions standing, their hideous disfigurement still plain on their faces and bodies, but their eyes still dead and their movements rigid. His friends were zombies. He grabbed his holy symbol and presented it towards the zombies, channeling his power through it, but the zombies did not turn and run. Their eyes lit up and they cowered before him. Cowered! He cried, for he knew what this meant. He had been the one to kill his friends, and now he had fallen and his powers to combat the undead now worked in reverse. His anger and wish for revenge broke, having no one to blame but himself.

Bren stood invisible behind the zombies, having rebuked them just as the paladin had tried to turn them. It was a close thing, but Bren had won. He watched, satisfied as the paladin’s holy aura faded from his augmented vision and was replaced by a sticky aura of evil as the man cursed and vowed vengance on the good gods that had apparently abandoned him. A broken man, the fallen paladin was about to stand when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and a halfling was there. The halfling’s command was undeniable, for it was backed by a greater strength than the man had ever known before. The command was “Follow.”

Bren later put the blackguard in temporal stasis, for the man was not needed to assist in study of necromancy. The news of the fall of the necropolis spread quickly, though, as the adventurer’s co-conspiritors discussed the plan and the activation and explosion of all the positive energy. Other bands of adventurers, often much less experienced, came to the Necropolis hoping to find wealth that was no longer guarded. Only, there was none for them to find. There was but a careful trail that lead towards the central citadel, where Bren studied the arcane secrets. Each band of adventurers brought Bren a modicum of new riches, new secrets and new minions, for Bren now had access to the ritual to turn humanoids into Necropolitans. Turning unwilling creatures into equally intelligent undead delighted Bren, for now they could be commanded about as any other undead could be, but oh so much more useful.

Centuries passed and the Necropolis stood through Bren’s might to control and command the undead. Bren also took the more difficult path to become an undead as well, taking on the form of a lich. Eventually the blackguard was released and the two of them went into the outside world to find powerful dragons to enslave in undeath. Bren’s army was in the making.

Summary:

1) Separated from halfing caravan
2) Lost in underground caves
3) Found by necromancer
4) Survived attack on Necropolis
5) Turned a paladin to evil
6) Became a lich

Heh, lawful. :D
Frylord
02-28-06, 06:31 PM WOW. THAT is EVIL! I like it. although, don't you think that's a high level for a character?
BloodSpill
02-28-06, 06:59 PM The DM suggested level 30-35, evil character and standard race only. It seems simple enough to cut out a part of the story if a campaign started at a lower level.

Anyway, it's not that evil, is it? :angelhide Writing character backgrounds at three in the morning might skew my perceptions of morality a bit.

I like the idea of having a mount that's undead. Here is Lucky take II

Lucky
Awakened Spellstitched Zombie Great Silver Wyrm (Snatcher, Mount)
Colossal Undead
Hit Dice: 40d12+320 (800hp) (max hp)
Initiative: +13 (+1 Dex, +4 Nimble Bones, +8 Superior Initiative)
Speed: 60ft (24m) 12 squares, Fly 220ft (perfect) (88m) (52.8 km.h-1) 44 squares
AC: 22 (+19 natural, +1 Dex, -8 size)
Base Attack/Grapple: +40/+74
Attack: 1 Bite +50 (4d8+18), or 1 Tail sweep +50 (2d8+27)
Full Attack: Zombe Dragons can’t make full attacks
Space/Reach: 30ft/20ft (30ft for bite)
Special Attacks: Breath Weapon DC 37 – cone of cold 12d8 or cone of paralysing gas 1d6+12 rounds, Frightful presence DC 37, spell-like abilities (as 40th sorcerer)
Special Qualities: Blindsense 60ft, damage reduction 5/slashing and 10/magic and silver, darkvision 120ft, immunity to cold, keen senses, slow, spell resistance 32, undead traits
Saves: Fort +24 Refl +25 Will +24
Abilities: Str 47 Dex 12 Con – Int 10 Wis 10 Cha 24
Skills: Intimidate +50, Listen +43, Sense Motive +31, Spot +43, Speak Language (Common, Halfling, Infernal, Abyssal, Draconic, Undercommon)
Feats: Toughness (b), Power Attack, Large and In Charge [Draconomicon], Hover [Monster Manual], Snatch [Monster Manual], Improved Snatch [Draconomicon], Multisnatch [Draconomicon], Tail Constrict [Draconomicon],Tail Sweep Knockdown [Draconomicon],
Whirlwind Tail Sweep [Draconomicon], Improved Speed [Draconomicon], Improved Flight [Complete Adventurer], Improved Maneuverability [Draconomicon], Improved Initiative
Epic Feats: Superior Initiative
Alignment: Neutral
Possessions: Exotic Military Saddle 60gp, Greater Pectoral of Maneuverability [Draconomicon] 90,000gp
CR: 15
Cost: 1,100gp, 8,750xp, 1 great silver wyrm corpse

Spell-like abilities (Sp): 4th dispelling breath 2/day, 3rd displacement 1/day, wind wall 1/day, 2nd protection from arrows 1/day, invisibility 1/day, knock 1/day, invisibility 2/day, 1st mage armor 1/day, shield 1/day, charm person 1/day, obscuring mist 1/day

If only zombies didn't have Slow then it'd be 0-100km/h in under 6 seconds.
Zombie Dragon mount!
Free to run, never crashes, hover capability and excellent turning circle!
Buy yours today! Comes with a choice of breath weapon!

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
BloodSpill 02-27-06, 12:59 PM	Please let me know if I have any plot holes because I'm not much one for writing character backgrounds. I also tend to have sentences that are too long and probably don't know enough conventions. Thanks in advance. Name: Bren (meaning Black, cold, dark or night) from Races of the Wild, rolled randomly (!!) Race: Halfling Gender: Unknown Level: Dread Necromancer 35 (!) Halflings usually aren’t afraid of death, so they simply don’t have reason to dabble in necromancy. Bren was different, but only through circumstance. Bren’s family was part of a wandering halfling caravan. All considered Bren was a normal halfling child and was happy, cheerful and sociable. One day the caravan was passing through a forest between humanoid settlements in some countryside, of which country in particular doesn’t really matter. At age 12, Bren was eager and curious and liked to explore the surrounding countryside, sometimes with a friend. This time was different, because Bren got lost. Now usually halflings won’t get lost, or if they do they’re quickly searched for and found, but for some unknown reason Bren’s case was different. Lost and alone in an untamed forest and unable to find the caravan, Bren was forced to do whatever it took to survive. Finding food wasn’t too difficult, but hiding from the more dangerous creatures took its toll. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, except when it wears away at your mind. Bren didn’t feel angry at being left behind, obviously it wasn’t on purpose. Bren stumbled into a cavern a few days later after narrowly escaping being mauled by some large carnivorous animal, and once again became hopelessly lost. Without a lightsource or any sense of direction, Bren kept wandering for days through a seemingly endless maze of tunnels and caverns. Eventually Bren saw light around a bend in the tunnel and investigated, only to be caught as food for a band of goblins. This would have been the end of Bren’s story if not for a passerby necromancer, whom slew the band of goblins because going through them was easier than going around. The necromancer and his minions discovered Bren and the necromancer was slightly impressed with the calm that Bren possessed in the presence of his skeletons. He took Bren with him, to a small settlement in a cavern of like-minded practisioners that lived underground so as to secret their research away from those on the surface that might wish it destroyed. The necromancer taught Bren the ways of magic and necromancy. Himself a wizard, was surprised when Bren developed a knack for sorcerery steeped in necromancy. It was the rare talent of a dread necromancer, manifested as the ability to drain away life with just a touch. The necromancer was pleased and schooled Bren further, and gave Bren a scroll of animate dead and a corpse of a goblin. Bren managed to successfully cast the spell even if it was far beyond Bren’s experience. Bren called the skeletal goblin Lucky. Bren’s mentor wanted to test a new spell the cadre of underdwelling necromancers had derived in their persuit of immortality through undeath. The spell was cast upon Bren’s Lucky and gave it sentience. Bren now had a semi-friend. Even though Lucky did not act or think the same way a living creature would only ever followed commands, it still was now able to protect Bren in the darkness. Finally the necromancers found what they were looking for and each underwent the ritual to become a Necropolitan. Bren’s mentor suggested Bren to undergo the procedure as well, but the others refused. They were not sure if Bren would even survive it. Years later Bren and the necromancers had moved into an even larger cavern. The news of their discovery was causing many outsider necromancers to petition to join their ranks, so it had been apparent they must move to provide space for an entire city of Necropolitan necromancers. Still Bren had not been considered for the ritual. At this time Bren had progressed into a capable necromancer and was a minor commander of the city’s undead armed forces. The city prospered so much due to the ability of the necromancers to create intelligent, obedient and never tiring servants that outside forces began to consider it a threat. The city was infiltrated by powerful adventurers, disguised by strong transmutation magic. Since they were still far outmatched though, they brought hundreds of small crystal spheres that they secreted evenly across the city. When they had completed their task they retreated and activated the spheres. For a full minute the city was brightly lit as each sphere connected to every sphere nearby and output huge amounts of positive energy. Every Necropolitan and every animated servant was destroyed. The adventurers were pleased with their work and strode into the bone and corpse filled streets, slashing to pieces any neophyte or ritual petitioner. They searched the city for any survivors and looted all the wealth and magic items they could find. It was a large task that would take them days. Bren had survived, having not been made into an undead by the ritual. Bren’s mentor and every other citizen Bren knew in the city had been utterly destroyed, turned to dust. Even Lucky, Bren’s first skeletal minion was gone. Bren was shocked by the loss of all that was familiar, but also saw the opportunity that lay ahead. All those superior had been removed. The bodies of the living that were slain by the adventurers were left in the streets so Bren had a few opportunities to bring to animate some servitors. Bren followed the adventurers and it quickly became apparent that they were so sure of themselves that they neglected any magical protection when they stopped to rest, leaving only one member of their party on guard duty. A few nights after the cataclysm Bren quietly snuck near to where the adventurers were sleeping. Quietly, Bren cast the spell magic jar and attacked the life force of the adventurer on watch. The adventurer tried to resist but from Bren’s point of view the magic worked perfectly. Bren, in the body of the adventurer quickly went about snuffing out the life forces of the sleeping members. Done, Bren ordered the skeletons into the building. they brought the crystal, Bren’s body and a draught of paralysis that was promptly downed. The body stiffened as Bren allowed the effect to set in, then returned through the gem into halfling form. The adventurer awoke, his memory modified by Bren’s scroll, to find his friends slain and mutilated, apparently by his own hand. Skeletons knelt around him, as if in supplication. Horrified he ran out of the building. The skeletons followed him, but he lashed out with his sword, easily dropping one. They did not retaliate, but a few seconds later he heard the footsteps of another skeleton coming to replace the one he had destroyed. He tried to outpace the skeletons but they were remarkably fast and nimble, even able to back away from his blows much of the time. When he dropped one, another would replace it, so four skeletons were always with him. They did not approach him when he finally could not stay conscious any longer, and did not attack him whilst he slept. Once again the adventurer awoke to find himself where he had fallen the night before, the skeletons exactly where he had last seen them. The man started to forget to be afraid, or angry at these skeletons. For some reason they were following him and he had murdered his friends. The man was deeply disturbed by these happenings, but his resolve was still strong. He lashed out and destroyed the skeletons with one slice of his blade each. Four more came, and he destroyed those also. Twelve more. Then it was quiet. The man thought he had rid himself of the undead. Then he heard something, slow, shuffling footsteps. He could not pinpoint the source, so retreated around a corner. There he saw his companions standing, their hideous disfigurement still plain on their faces and bodies, but their eyes still dead and their movements rigid. His friends were zombies. He grabbed his holy symbol and presented it towards the zombies, channeling his power through it, but the zombies did not turn and run. Their eyes lit up and they cowered before him. Cowered! He cried, for he knew what this meant. He had been the one to kill his friends, and now he had fallen and his powers to combat the undead now worked in reverse. His anger and wish for revenge broke, having no one to blame but himself. Bren stood invisible behind the zombies, having rebuked them just as the paladin had tried to turn them. It was a close thing, but Bren had won. He watched, satisfied as the paladin’s holy aura faded from his augmented vision and was replaced by a sticky aura of evil as the man cursed and vowed vengance on the good gods that had apparently abandoned him. A broken man, the fallen paladin was about to stand when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and a halfling was there. The halfling’s command was undeniable, for it was backed by a greater strength than the man had ever known before. The command was “Follow.” Bren later put the blackguard in temporal stasis, for the man was not needed to assist in study of necromancy. The news of the fall of the necropolis spread quickly, though, as the adventurer’s co-conspiritors discussed the plan and the activation and explosion of all the positive energy. Other bands of adventurers, often much less experienced, came to the Necropolis hoping to find wealth that was no longer guarded. Only, there was none for them to find. There was but a careful trail that lead towards the central citadel, where Bren studied the arcane secrets. Each band of adventurers brought Bren a modicum of new riches, new secrets and new minions, for Bren now had access to the ritual to turn humanoids into Necropolitans. Turning unwilling creatures into equally intelligent undead delighted Bren, for now they could be commanded about as any other undead could be, but oh so much more useful. Centuries passed and the Necropolis stood through Bren’s might to control and command the undead. Bren also took the more difficult path to become an undead as well, taking on the form of a lich. Eventually the blackguard was released and the two of them went into the outside world to find powerful dragons to enslave in undeath. Bren’s army was in the making. Summary: 1) Separated from halfing caravan 2) Lost in underground caves 3) Found by necromancer 4) Survived attack on Necropolis 5) Turned a paladin to evil 6) Became a lich Heh, lawful. :D
Frylord 02-28-06, 06:31 PM	WOW. THAT is EVIL! I like it. although, don't you think that's a high level for a character?
BloodSpill 02-28-06, 06:59 PM	The DM suggested level 30-35, evil character and standard race only. It seems simple enough to cut out a part of the story if a campaign started at a lower level. Anyway, it's not that evil, is it? :angelhide Writing character backgrounds at three in the morning might skew my perceptions of morality a bit. I like the idea of having a mount that's undead. Here is Lucky take II Lucky Awakened Spellstitched Zombie Great Silver Wyrm (Snatcher, Mount) Colossal Undead Hit Dice: 40d12+320 (800hp) (max hp) Initiative: +13 (+1 Dex, +4 Nimble Bones, +8 Superior Initiative) Speed: 60ft (24m) 12 squares, Fly 220ft (perfect) (88m) (52.8 km.h-1) 44 squares AC: 22 (+19 natural, +1 Dex, -8 size) Base Attack/Grapple: +40/+74 Attack: 1 Bite +50 (4d8+18), or 1 Tail sweep +50 (2d8+27) Full Attack: Zombe Dragons can’t make full attacks Space/Reach: 30ft/20ft (30ft for bite) Special Attacks: Breath Weapon DC 37 – cone of cold 12d8 or cone of paralysing gas 1d6+12 rounds, Frightful presence DC 37, spell-like abilities (as 40th sorcerer) Special Qualities: Blindsense 60ft, damage reduction 5/slashing and 10/magic and silver, darkvision 120ft, immunity to cold, keen senses, slow, spell resistance 32, undead traits Saves: Fort +24 Refl +25 Will +24 Abilities: Str 47 Dex 12 Con – Int 10 Wis 10 Cha 24 Skills: Intimidate +50, Listen +43, Sense Motive +31, Spot +43, Speak Language (Common, Halfling, Infernal, Abyssal, Draconic, Undercommon) Feats: Toughness (b), Power Attack, Large and In Charge [Draconomicon], Hover [Monster Manual], Snatch [Monster Manual], Improved Snatch [Draconomicon], Multisnatch [Draconomicon], Tail Constrict [Draconomicon],Tail Sweep Knockdown [Draconomicon], Whirlwind Tail Sweep [Draconomicon], Improved Speed [Draconomicon], Improved Flight [Complete Adventurer], Improved Maneuverability [Draconomicon], Improved Initiative Epic Feats: Superior Initiative Alignment: Neutral Possessions: Exotic Military Saddle 60gp, Greater Pectoral of Maneuverability [Draconomicon] 90,000gp CR: 15 Cost: 1,100gp, 8,750xp, 1 great silver wyrm corpse Spell-like abilities (Sp): 4th dispelling breath 2/day, 3rd displacement 1/day, wind wall 1/day, 2nd protection from arrows 1/day, invisibility 1/day, knock 1/day, invisibility 2/day, 1st mage armor 1/day, shield 1/day, charm person 1/day, obscuring mist 1/day If only zombies didn't have Slow then it'd be 0-100km/h in under 6 seconds. Zombie Dragon mount! Free to run, never crashes, hover capability and excellent turning circle! Buy yours today! Comes with a choice of breath weapon!