Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Denis_sadowski 04-23-04, 07:56 PM	After quite a bit of help from many people around the board (speical thanks to Trydan and LiXinjian) i think my character is almost compelte any more suggestions would be greatly apreciated. Like is it missing something? is it too long? is it to bland and need more spice? Ray is proud and confident, but extremely critical of his performance in battle. He can be friendly and outgoing when he wants to be, but tends to keep to himself. He always looks before he leaps, especially when it comes to his well being or the well being of his friends. He is the quite athletic and is constantly training in body, mind and soul to become the greatest warrior his abilities will allow. He has been constantly training his entire life and when he felt he could learn no more in his hometown, he set out on a long journey to unleash his inner potential as a warrior. Ray never feels he's ready for the next challenge. He trains and trains to prepare for whatever awaits ahead, never realizing he's gotten very good in the process. Ray would tally his good performances under sheer luck; he wilfully shuts his eyes on his accomplishments because his father always pushed him to do better. Ray comes from a long line of “guardians”; his father is currently filling the position. They live in a small village named Tanvale that is constantly under assault by goblins that have set up an encampment nearby. Ray was trained to one day become the “guardian” of Tanvale and therefore was taught the family art of katar fighting; how to track his prey and that speed was the key to victory. At the age of 16 he left the village to improve his fighting capabilities, he became a mercenary and though he has made quite a few enemies over that period of time he still believes he has not improved enough to take his position as the “guardian” of Tanvale. He wears a robe that consist of mostly earth tones and was tailor made for him, it has abnormally large sleeves which are capable of not only capable of keeping his hands warm but his katars are also able to be hidden in those sleeves.
Son of Khoron 04-24-04, 07:45 AM	The wants, needs and goals are explained. If put into a more biographical form which includes a bit more on his homeland, parents, and a small incident during his past...it would turn out to be a good storyline. Physical description of the character could use somework in detail...explain any mannerism on how he expresses to the onlooker, any quirks, facial features... Overall, looks good but greater if added some polishing...
Denis_sadowski 04-24-04, 09:46 AM	Well i can't secribe his homelands becuase my dm said that he wishes to put our villages on his world map, but the ideas about more physical decription and some actual happenings are great thx.