Check out McGuyver's Story V2.0!!! (Warning: Long) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Check out McGuyver's Story V2.0!!! (Warning: Long) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Fiery_Fighter_Drake
09-30-04, 09:06 AM The second version of my story. The changes are marked in green:

The DM ran the intro as my PC having stolen a valuable diamond and we have to retrieve it to save his life from the Assassin's Guild.

McGuyver was born too a decent halfling family in the little town of Dockalong. He was inquisitive and always loved to tinker with things. His favorite items were always traps and locks. Despite the dangers, his father would often set simple traps for the young lad to find and disable. McGuyver could also easily pick locks; his mother once found him playing with her jewelry even when she knew that the jewelry boxed had been locked. When asked as to how he had opened the box, he simply showed her a hairpin.

When he was 15, his father decided that McGuyver would be trained as a scout. His family had come from a long line of scouts; basically rogues who specialized in trapfinding, lockpicking and certain skills so that adventurers would not be caught surprised by traps or monsters nor would they need to alert enemies just to bang down the door. The boy had talent and his father hoped he would carry on the family tradition where he could not.

Thus, McGuyver was sent off to train under his Uncle Garret who lived in the nearby elven village. Uncle Garret had been hired by the elves to search and disable any traps that would harm them and was nearing his 100th birthday and his retirement. At their first meeting, Uncle Garret snuck up on the boy and surprised the lad. He told McGuyver that he had a lot to learn if he could be surprised so easily. And so it was that McGuyver spent several years learning from his uncle and the elves. While his uncle thought him how to move silently through the underbrush and locate hidden creatures, the elves taught him the finer points of swordplay.

One day, McGuyver and his uncle, along with a few elven rangers, were sent to track a pack of dire wolves that was threatening the area. As they set-up camp for the night, they heard the howls of the dire wolves as they drew close to their would-be prey. Suddenly, McGuyver spotted a dire wolf as it pounced for his uncle. The old halfling was too slow and was caught by the dire wolf which began to tear at him with its claws.

McGuyver reacted quickly; he drew his crossbow and fired upon the beast at close range. The bolt hit a vital area and the beast slumped to the ground. However, it was too late for the old Halfling. A gaping wound had been left in his abdomen and he lay dead. Fighting back tears, McGuyver readied himself for the rest of the dire wolves. With the help of the elven rangers, McGuyver was able to kill or severely wound many of the wolves as he landed blows that hit vital parts of the body. In the end, all the wolves were killed, the only casualty being his uncle.

His uncle dead, McGuyver decided it was time to move on. Burying his uncle in the town graveyard, he was gifted by the elves with a magical rapier capable of wounding the toughest creatures; it had been meant as Uncle Garret’s retirement present. The elves had considered old Garret their equal, something extremely uncommon, as his skill and grace had easily matched theirs when he was in his prime. He left the town of Dockalong to seek adventurers, where his skills would be of use.

However, McGuyver found that it was difficult for him to make ends meet as a scout as the more experienced adventurers would not accept such a young rogue. With very little money left, the young rogue heard of a wealthy landowner who was looking for a bodyguard. With little choice, McGuyver went to find the home of this landowner and offer his services. Due to his ineptness at negotiations (and the landowner being a scrooge), McGuyver was paid very little for his services as a bodyguard. Furthermore, he had to find his own living quarters when not working! This went on for several months, with McGuyver practically starving and not being able to afford anything more then a place on the tavern floor. Finally, he decided he had had enough and would exact the kind of revenge only a rogue is capable of.

McGuyver knew that the landowner had a large precious diamond in his study. He overheard the landowner speaking of it several times. He also knew that the guards only patrolled the perimeter of the house as there were several traps within that were activated at night. Sneaking in under the cover of moonlight, McGuyver bypassed the guards and the traps. Entering the study, he searched for the diamond and found a secret cache. Activating it, a secret compartment in the wall slide open and within was the diamond. Bagging the diamond and closing the compartment, McGuyver snuck past the guards again and skipped town that very night, heading for the city of thieves, Greyhawk.

Upon arrival, he heard that his home town was under siege by a band of orcs. Quickly fencing the diamond to a passing wizard, he bought what items he thought he needed and rushed off to his home town. Upon arrival, however, he found that the town had been saved by a group of adventurers. Sadly, his parents had died while defending the town. Deciding to stay in town for a while, McGuyver stayed with his cousin and his wife, who had incidentally been saved by the same group of adventurers from monsters.

One night, McGuyver was awoken by a noise and spotted an assassin climbing through the window. A fight ensued, with McGuyver severely wounding the assassin. Before the assassin died, McGuyver found out that his former employer had hired the Assassin’s Guild to hunt him down and retrieve the diamond. The commotion woke his cousin and the sight shocked him. McGuyver explained what had happened and his cousin suggested they approach the adventurers for help. And thus, the adventure begins…
SearcherOmega
10-01-04, 02:04 PM It looks pretty good to me. Depending on your alignment, you may want to provide more thorough reason for obtaining the diamond, though. Perhaps for a CG character, the man was an evil miser who buys off power and conspires, and the diamond would be used for some good ends? A CN or CE character might do it out of self-interest, though the CN might still need some reason for the valuables. Is someone he cares about gravely ill and in need of the services of a powerful healer? Does he just simply like shiney things?

Just a few thoughts. Good work. :D
Fiery_Fighter_Drake
10-02-04, 04:32 AM Finally, my first reply. McGuyver is Chaotic Neutral. He does like shiny things, as is evident by his lockpicking of his mother's jewelry box. That's the most problematic part; my DM, thinking my rogue was a typical thief (I'm pretty new to D&D, BTW) gave him the intro as stated in the very first post in italics. I'm finding it difficult to explain WHY he stole the diamond and not something less conspicuous. My DM did hint that it wasn't just an ordinary diamond (had me roll an Intelligence check, failed, as my PC wondered why everyone seemed to be after it now, since some mysterious figure had taken it away), so maybe I could work on that?

I forgot to add that his parents died defending the town (we had a small contingent of halfling recruits as part of the reinforcements, I was playing a half-orc barbarian at the time).
SearcherOmega
10-02-04, 03:13 PM Hm...

Perhaps he was being paid a large sum of money to obtain it by some rival of the mayor? If it has magical properties that could help his political opponents, it could make sense. Then perhaps the person you were <I>supposed</I> to give it to is now rotting in jail, thus explaining how you are 'stuck' with it?

Could always say he just rolled a natural 1 on his WIS check to see if taking it was a smart idea... :D
Fiery_Fighter_Drake
10-02-04, 08:23 PM Well, there is no mention of a mayor. The mansion was just one that McGuyver happened to come across. I've amended some of the paragraphs to better explain why he took the diamond:

Inside was a large, precious diamond. McGuyver knew that the item would almost immediately be found missing if he took it, but something about it attracted him, something mysterious. Before he knew it, he had bagged the diamond as was on the way to the city of Greyhawk to fence it.

and also to explain why his parents aren't around no more:

Sadly, his parents had died while defending the town.

That should be okay for now. I just gotta work on his personality based on the background as well as his physical appearance.
SearcherOmega
10-03-04, 11:06 AM Excellent. Glad it worked out. ^_^

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Fiery_Fighter_Drake 09-30-04, 09:06 AM	The second version of my story. The changes are marked in green: The DM ran the intro as my PC having stolen a valuable diamond and we have to retrieve it to save his life from the Assassin's Guild. McGuyver was born too a decent halfling family in the little town of Dockalong. He was inquisitive and always loved to tinker with things. His favorite items were always traps and locks. Despite the dangers, his father would often set simple traps for the young lad to find and disable. McGuyver could also easily pick locks; his mother once found him playing with her jewelry even when she knew that the jewelry boxed had been locked. When asked as to how he had opened the box, he simply showed her a hairpin. When he was 15, his father decided that McGuyver would be trained as a scout. His family had come from a long line of scouts; basically rogues who specialized in trapfinding, lockpicking and certain skills so that adventurers would not be caught surprised by traps or monsters nor would they need to alert enemies just to bang down the door. The boy had talent and his father hoped he would carry on the family tradition where he could not. Thus, McGuyver was sent off to train under his Uncle Garret who lived in the nearby elven village. Uncle Garret had been hired by the elves to search and disable any traps that would harm them and was nearing his 100th birthday and his retirement. At their first meeting, Uncle Garret snuck up on the boy and surprised the lad. He told McGuyver that he had a lot to learn if he could be surprised so easily. And so it was that McGuyver spent several years learning from his uncle and the elves. While his uncle thought him how to move silently through the underbrush and locate hidden creatures, the elves taught him the finer points of swordplay. One day, McGuyver and his uncle, along with a few elven rangers, were sent to track a pack of dire wolves that was threatening the area. As they set-up camp for the night, they heard the howls of the dire wolves as they drew close to their would-be prey. Suddenly, McGuyver spotted a dire wolf as it pounced for his uncle. The old halfling was too slow and was caught by the dire wolf which began to tear at him with its claws. McGuyver reacted quickly; he drew his crossbow and fired upon the beast at close range. The bolt hit a vital area and the beast slumped to the ground. However, it was too late for the old Halfling. A gaping wound had been left in his abdomen and he lay dead. Fighting back tears, McGuyver readied himself for the rest of the dire wolves. With the help of the elven rangers, McGuyver was able to kill or severely wound many of the wolves as he landed blows that hit vital parts of the body. In the end, all the wolves were killed, the only casualty being his uncle. His uncle dead, McGuyver decided it was time to move on. Burying his uncle in the town graveyard, he was gifted by the elves with a magical rapier capable of wounding the toughest creatures; it had been meant as Uncle Garret’s retirement present. The elves had considered old Garret their equal, something extremely uncommon, as his skill and grace had easily matched theirs when he was in his prime. He left the town of Dockalong to seek adventurers, where his skills would be of use. However, McGuyver found that it was difficult for him to make ends meet as a scout as the more experienced adventurers would not accept such a young rogue. With very little money left, the young rogue heard of a wealthy landowner who was looking for a bodyguard. With little choice, McGuyver went to find the home of this landowner and offer his services. Due to his ineptness at negotiations (and the landowner being a scrooge), McGuyver was paid very little for his services as a bodyguard. Furthermore, he had to find his own living quarters when not working! This went on for several months, with McGuyver practically starving and not being able to afford anything more then a place on the tavern floor. Finally, he decided he had had enough and would exact the kind of revenge only a rogue is capable of. McGuyver knew that the landowner had a large precious diamond in his study. He overheard the landowner speaking of it several times. He also knew that the guards only patrolled the perimeter of the house as there were several traps within that were activated at night. Sneaking in under the cover of moonlight, McGuyver bypassed the guards and the traps. Entering the study, he searched for the diamond and found a secret cache. Activating it, a secret compartment in the wall slide open and within was the diamond. Bagging the diamond and closing the compartment, McGuyver snuck past the guards again and skipped town that very night, heading for the city of thieves, Greyhawk. Upon arrival, he heard that his home town was under siege by a band of orcs. Quickly fencing the diamond to a passing wizard, he bought what items he thought he needed and rushed off to his home town. Upon arrival, however, he found that the town had been saved by a group of adventurers. Sadly, his parents had died while defending the town. Deciding to stay in town for a while, McGuyver stayed with his cousin and his wife, who had incidentally been saved by the same group of adventurers from monsters. One night, McGuyver was awoken by a noise and spotted an assassin climbing through the window. A fight ensued, with McGuyver severely wounding the assassin. Before the assassin died, McGuyver found out that his former employer had hired the Assassin’s Guild to hunt him down and retrieve the diamond. The commotion woke his cousin and the sight shocked him. McGuyver explained what had happened and his cousin suggested they approach the adventurers for help. And thus, the adventure begins…
SearcherOmega 10-01-04, 02:04 PM	It looks pretty good to me. Depending on your alignment, you may want to provide more thorough reason for obtaining the diamond, though. Perhaps for a CG character, the man was an evil miser who buys off power and conspires, and the diamond would be used for some good ends? A CN or CE character might do it out of self-interest, though the CN might still need some reason for the valuables. Is someone he cares about gravely ill and in need of the services of a powerful healer? Does he just simply like shiney things? Just a few thoughts. Good work. :D
Fiery_Fighter_Drake 10-02-04, 04:32 AM	Finally, my first reply. McGuyver is Chaotic Neutral. He does like shiny things, as is evident by his lockpicking of his mother's jewelry box. That's the most problematic part; my DM, thinking my rogue was a typical thief (I'm pretty new to D&D, BTW) gave him the intro as stated in the very first post in italics. I'm finding it difficult to explain WHY he stole the diamond and not something less conspicuous. My DM did hint that it wasn't just an ordinary diamond (had me roll an Intelligence check, failed, as my PC wondered why everyone seemed to be after it now, since some mysterious figure had taken it away), so maybe I could work on that? I forgot to add that his parents died defending the town (we had a small contingent of halfling recruits as part of the reinforcements, I was playing a half-orc barbarian at the time).
SearcherOmega 10-02-04, 03:13 PM	Hm... Perhaps he was being paid a large sum of money to obtain it by some rival of the mayor? If it has magical properties that could help his political opponents, it could make sense. Then perhaps the person you were <I>supposed</I> to give it to is now rotting in jail, thus explaining how you are 'stuck' with it? Could always say he just rolled a natural 1 on his WIS check to see if taking it was a smart idea... :D
Fiery_Fighter_Drake 10-02-04, 08:23 PM	Well, there is no mention of a mayor. The mansion was just one that McGuyver happened to come across. I've amended some of the paragraphs to better explain why he took the diamond: Inside was a large, precious diamond. McGuyver knew that the item would almost immediately be found missing if he took it, but something about it attracted him, something mysterious. Before he knew it, he had bagged the diamond as was on the way to the city of Greyhawk to fence it. and also to explain why his parents aren't around no more: Sadly, his parents had died while defending the town. That should be okay for now. I just gotta work on his personality based on the background as well as his physical appearance.
SearcherOmega 10-03-04, 11:06 AM	Excellent. Glad it worked out. ^_^