Colbert nation [Archive] - Wizards Community

Colbert nation [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
warlock_devilkill
03-30-07, 11:14 AM I'm a big fan of the colbert report. Anyone who watches the show knows he's a nerd/geek so i started wondering if stephen was a dnd character what would he be? I of course mean the character stephen colbert not the real stephen colbert. So now i ask you members of the colbert nation what would stephen's character be?
*class
*level
*race-human
*feats
*skills
*etc...
Brotter_Lutgehr
03-30-07, 07:56 PM I'm a big fan of the colbert report. Anyone who watches the show knows he's a nerd/geek so i started wondering if stephen was a dnd character what would he be? I of course mean the character stephen colbert not the real stephen colbert. So now i ask you members of the colbert nation what would stephen's character be?
*class
*level
*race-human
*feats
*skills
*etc...

Class: All
Level: Infinite
Race: Human
Feats: All
Skills: All maxed execpt deplomacy because thats for girlies
Weapon: Truthiness - A +10 masterwork awesome sword which deals 10d100xINF dmg

In short he could take Pun-Pun
nerdor257
03-30-07, 08:35 PM He was actually a huge dnd fan in his youth. He said that was what got him into acting.
General_Ridley
03-30-07, 11:49 PM Class: All
Level: Infinite
Race: Human
Feats: All
Skills: All maxed execpt deplomacy because thats for girlies
Weapon: Truthiness - A +10 masterwork awesome sword which deals 10d100xINF dmg

In short he could take Pun-Pun

one correction. 42d% x Infinite damage is the correct value.
warlock_devilkill
03-31-07, 12:09 PM All very good and funny. :rofl: Any more?
dorkknight23
04-02-07, 12:11 AM Some different characters directly inspired by the Colbert persona.

First, the Forgotten Realms:

Sir Stephen of Colbert, Knight-Protector of the Great Kingdom of Thay, Paladin First Class, Defender of Freedom, &ct., &ct.

Male Mulani Human Paladin of Helm 10 LG

“I know our opponents are evil, and that’s because I could detect it, and then I could smite it. And not with a spellbook like those wizards in their ivory towers hovering six inches above the ground, but with my gut! Let’s see your so-called ‘Sage of Shadowdale’ do that.”
- Sir Stephen of Colbert

Sir Stephen of Colbert is a hero, and you’ll know this because he’ll tell you, numerous times. He’s defeated the Rashemi barbarians and their masked temptresses. He has helped the Zulkirs, the rightful rulers of his nation, put down slavery uprisings and racial revolts (although he claims he doesn’t see race. “They say I’m human, and I believe them, because I get an extra skill point every level and a bonus feat.”) He serves Helm, and makes every opportunity to mock the worthlessness of Paladins serving other good deities, quick to label servants of Ilmater (“long-haired peaceniks,”) Lathander (“baby-faced little prettyboys too worried about mussing their hair to think about the real issues”,) Tyr (“Why follow a god that wasn’t smart enough to keep his hand?”) Sune (“painted hedonistic she-devils. Which I can respect. Charlene.”)

A zealous supporter of the Thayan government, he is tolerated by his masters in Thay because he is supportive of them, and also because he is incredibly easy to dupe towards whatever hideous ends the Zulkirs have in mind. For reasons known only to Helm, likely because of his subservience and oaths to the government of Thay and the Thayan people (equally likely: Helm is too busy to notice Colbert in action,) he has retained his Paladin’s abilities (although he is a devout follower of the Paladin code, quick to cite passages to non-believers or if it ever should come into question. “Because I follow the Paladin’s code, I must be a Paladin.”)

Sir Stephen is often seen supporting his evil masters in Thay, blissfully unaware or quick to justify whatever actions his master takes (“those peasants over there. Evil. Why else would they rebel against the righteous people in charge?”) If the party is an enemy of Thay, he will smite them without mercy (often shocked that his smiting didn’t work,) and will defend to the death any servant of the Red Wizards.

Colbert has no tolerance for people against Thay’s expansion, elitist intellectuals, and bears.

Sir Stephen of Colbert CR 10
Male Human Paladin 10
LG [“The only kind of good to be. Pick a side Neutral Good!”] Medium Humanoid (Human)
Init +1; Senses Listen +1, Spot +1
Aura: Law, Good
Languages: Common, Mulani, Giant
----------
AC 21; touch 11, flat-footed 20
hp 79 (10 HD)
Immune: Disease, Fear
For +12 Ref +7 Will +7
----------
Speed 20 ft. (4 squares)
Melee: +2 Longsword +15/+10 (1d8+5; 19-20/x2)
Base Atk +10, Grp +12
Atk Options: Smite Evil 3/day (+3 attack, +10 damage), Mounted Combat (+16,) Ride-By-Attack
Combat Gear: 1 Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds
Paladin Spells Prepared (CL 5):
1st: Divine Favor
2nd: Bull’s Strength
Spell-like Ability (CL 10):
At Will: Detect Evil
3/week: Remove Disease (he rarely uses this power “I don’t believe in healing the sick. Let them get better by themselves. Its what the gods intended.”)
---------
Abilities Str 14, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 12, Cha 17
SQ Divine Grace, Lay on Hands (30 HP/day,) Turn Undead (6/day, as 7th level Cleric,) Special Mount (below)
Feats Mounted Combat, Persuasive, Ride-By Attack, Skill Focus (Intimidate) [“nailing” people], Weapon Focus (Longsword)
Skills Balance -3, Bluff +5, Climb -2, Concentration +7, Diplomacy +7, Escape Artist -3, Handle Animal +8, Hide -3, Intimidate +14*, Jump -2, Knowledge (Religion) +9, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) +7, Move Silently -3, Perform (Oratory) +8, Ride +16, Sense Motive +6, Sleight of Hand -3, Swim -6, Tumble -3 [*Stephen has 6.5 ranks in Intimidate (the most he can have at this level)]
Possessions: combat gear plus Freedom (Mount, a Warhorse, see below,) +2 Longsword, +2 Breastplate, +1 Heavy Steel Shield, Wand of Cure Light Wounds, and 115 gp

Next, a more Eberron-friendly moral ambiguity-ridden version:

Sir Stephen of Colbert, Servant of The Flame, Flame’s Defender, “Paladin”
Male Human Fighter 10 LN

“They say the war is only over because everyone’s tired of fighting. They call themselves realists, but I call these people quitters. Sure, the cut-and-run life-huggers who wouldn’t want the Last War to run a couple of more centuries would want you to think this war was never-ending. That’s why Thrane needed to win this war: it was supposed to be the last one.”
- Sir Stephen of Colbert

Stephen of Colbert grew up around Flamekeep and desired ardently to serve the Flame as a Paladin. He joined the Order of the Flame, although his Paladin abilities have yet to manifest (“any day now.”)

He gets offended if you make light of the fact he doesn’t register on Detect Good spells, often blaming the failure on “moon interference,” or berating the caster as though they were lying. But, Colbert isn’t exactly Paladin material: he’s self-righteous and his Wisdom isn’t exactly forthcoming for the class (although some wittier ‘cut-and-run life-huggers’ have quipped this makes him perfect Paladin material.) Although he’s an stubborn supporter for Law and Order, he just doesn’t totally get “justice,” “mercy,” or “compassion.”

Until then, Sir Stephen rides for the Flame and for Thrane, a Servant of Good, even if it means doing some evil things every once in a while (“of course the ends justify the means, I read it in a book. Oh I forget what it was called. Something about fighting Vile Darkness.”) He is quick to try and prostletyze and witness to whomever is around, and he is a fairly convincing speaker, but his real talent lies in combat. Even if he isn’t a Paladin, Colbert is a talented swordsman and someone quick to play on his opponents fears and doubts to make openings (“nailing them” he calls it.)

Although his politics lie far to the right of fascist, Sir Stephen can serve as either a worthy ally (or ardent enemy) of anyone who crosses his path. He serves the Church of the Silver Flame, and is generally tolerated, since he is mostly harmless. But woe unto the Bear that crosses his path (“Breland, I’m looking at you!”) His stubbornness makes charm spells difficult to cast on him (or more difficult than you’d think. “See, I told you. Divine grace.”)

Sir Stephen of Colbert CR 10
Male Human Fighter 10
LN Medium Humanoid (Human)
Init +5; Senses Listen -1, Spot -1
Languages: Common, Dwarven, Gnome
----------
AC 21; touch 11, flat-footed 20
hp 89 (10 HD)
For +11 Ref +6 Will +8
----------
Speed 20 ft. (4 squares)
Melee: Longsword +15/+10 [1d8+4;17-20/x2]
Base Atk +10, Grp +12
Atk Options: Combat Expertise (typically only applied first round;) Demoralize (+31; standard action;) Feint (+9; Standard Action), Power Attack (with longsword -1 attack/+1 damage, up to -10/+10)
Combat Gear: Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds
---------
Abilities Str 14, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 8, Cha 17
Feats Combat Expertise, Force of Personality* [Complete Adventurer], Improved Critical (Longsword), Improved Feint, Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness* [Complete Warrior], Power Attack, Skill Focus (Intimidate), Skill Focus (Perform [Oratory]), Weapon Focus (Longsword), Weapon Specialization (Longsword)
Skills Balance -3, Bluff +9*, Climb -2, Diplomacy +7, Escape Artist -3, Hide -3, Intimidate +31, Jump -2, Knowledge (Local [Thrane]) +5, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) +6, Knowledge (Religion) +7, Move Silently -3, Perform (Oratory) +12*, Sleight of Hand -3, Swim -6, Tumble -3, Use Magic Device +4 [*He has maximum ranks in Bluff and Perform (Oratory) (6.5)]
Possessions:
+2 Longsword, +2 Breastplate, +1 Heavy Steel Shield, Ring of the Righteous Flame (+10 to Intimidate checks), Cloak of Resistance +2, Wand of Cure Light Wounds (convinced he can use it, but that it’s malfunctioning; has to roll a 16 or better on his Use Magic Device check for it to work), Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds, 15 gp

Typical Tactics:
1) Get into combat range. Combat Expertise +5 to AC, -5 to attack.
2) Demoralize and Feint.
3) Attack.
4) Feint, Attack, and Repeat as Needed.
warlock_devilkill
04-03-07, 11:49 AM Oh dorkknight too funny man! You had me laughing so hard i was crying.
Maybe the greyhawk version should be paladin/ranger with favored enemies being cut-and-runners and bears, they are godless killing machines after all.:D i hope there is more people out there with somemore like this.
warlock_devilkill
04-11-07, 11:11 AM anymore anyone?
Zodiaq7
04-11-07, 01:13 PM I'd day for the character he plays on the Colbert Report, go human evangelist, LG, go epic level, maybe do the fire-souled template from crystalkeep.com that pushes his charisma and lets him turn off charisma based abilities.
Kingfisher
04-12-07, 11:23 AM ROFL dorkknight that was golden.
El_Shawno
04-24-07, 11:20 PM I'm a big fan of the colbert report. Anyone who watches the show knows he's a nerd/geek so i started wondering if stephen was a dnd character what would he be? I of course mean the character stephen colbert not the real stephen colbert. So now i ask you members of the colbert nation what would stephen's character be?
*class
*level
*race-human
*feats
*skills
*etc...

He'd be a Bard - say at least 10th level by now. His Perform and Bluff skills would at least 20.

He'd also have a level or two of Ranger. Favored enemy? Bears, of course!
Gwenfloor
04-26-07, 09:24 PM In Greyhawk, he would be a Lawful Neutral Fighter/Cleric of Pholtus in the Theocracy of the Pale.

Stephen Colbert is a stalwart Lawful Neutral human worshiper of Pholtus. He isn't a Paladin because he doesn't want to respect the dignity of all sentient beings, such as those Troll terrorists in the Troll Fens along with their vicious bear minions.

He favors spells that smite chaotic rebels and anarchists, and he prefers to use a quill over other weapons, because the pen is mightier than the sword. Stephen Colbert disapproves of St. Cuthbert, because he disagrees with Pholtus' views; "You're with us, or you're with the terrorists!"

Stephen Colbert's formidable opponents include bears, anyone who doubts the wisdom of Pholtus, The Empire of Iuz, and Mordenkainen.

His special quality is "truthiness," defined as "the quality by which one purports to know something emotionally or instinctively, without regard to evidence or intellectual examination." which allows him to never become an ex-cleric, because if he did not violate the code of conduct intentionally, it is all well and good!

Stephen Colbert was trained as a Cleric by his mentor, Bill O' Reily, which Colbert affectionately refers to as "Papa bear." Woe betide anyone who mentions to Colbert that his hatred of bears contradicts his affectionate term!
warlock_devilkill
04-27-07, 11:13 AM very good, just 1 thing...who is pholtus?
Gwenfloor
04-27-07, 02:54 PM A god in Greyhawk who was formally Lawful Good, but was changed to being Lawful Neutral for sanctioning torture against arcane spell casters and non-worshipers, converting others to Pholtus against their will, and having Paladins that praised Law over Good.

Part of Pholtus' dogma includes wiping out Chaos before wiping out Evil.

Download the Living Greyhawk Deities v 2.0 (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=lg/welcome)
warlock_devilkill
04-28-07, 02:13 PM ok that kinda explains it

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
warlock_devilkill 03-30-07, 11:14 AM	I'm a big fan of the colbert report. Anyone who watches the show knows he's a nerd/geek so i started wondering if stephen was a dnd character what would he be? I of course mean the character stephen colbert not the real stephen colbert. So now i ask you members of the colbert nation what would stephen's character be? class level race-human feats skills etc...
Brotter_Lutgehr 03-30-07, 07:56 PM	I'm a big fan of the colbert report. Anyone who watches the show knows he's a nerd/geek so i started wondering if stephen was a dnd character what would he be? I of course mean the character stephen colbert not the real stephen colbert. So now i ask you members of the colbert nation what would stephen's character be? class level race-human feats skills etc... Class: All Level: Infinite Race: Human Feats: All Skills: All maxed execpt deplomacy because thats for girlies Weapon: Truthiness - A +10 masterwork awesome sword which deals 10d100xINF dmg In short he could take Pun-Pun
nerdor257 03-30-07, 08:35 PM	He was actually a huge dnd fan in his youth. He said that was what got him into acting.
General_Ridley 03-30-07, 11:49 PM	Class: All Level: Infinite Race: Human Feats: All Skills: All maxed execpt deplomacy because thats for girlies Weapon: Truthiness - A +10 masterwork awesome sword which deals 10d100xINF dmg In short he could take Pun-Pun one correction. 42d% x Infinite damage is the correct value.
warlock_devilkill 03-31-07, 12:09 PM	All very good and funny. :rofl: Any more?
dorkknight23 04-02-07, 12:11 AM	Some different characters directly inspired by the Colbert persona. First, the Forgotten Realms: Sir Stephen of Colbert, Knight-Protector of the Great Kingdom of Thay, Paladin First Class, Defender of Freedom, &ct., &ct. Male Mulani Human Paladin of Helm 10 LG “I know our opponents are evil, and that’s because I could detect it, and then I could smite it. And not with a spellbook like those wizards in their ivory towers hovering six inches above the ground, but with my gut! Let’s see your so-called ‘Sage of Shadowdale’ do that.” - Sir Stephen of Colbert Sir Stephen of Colbert is a hero, and you’ll know this because he’ll tell you, numerous times. He’s defeated the Rashemi barbarians and their masked temptresses. He has helped the Zulkirs, the rightful rulers of his nation, put down slavery uprisings and racial revolts (although he claims he doesn’t see race. “They say I’m human, and I believe them, because I get an extra skill point every level and a bonus feat.”) He serves Helm, and makes every opportunity to mock the worthlessness of Paladins serving other good deities, quick to label servants of Ilmater (“long-haired peaceniks,”) Lathander (“baby-faced little prettyboys too worried about mussing their hair to think about the real issues”,) Tyr (“Why follow a god that wasn’t smart enough to keep his hand?”) Sune (“painted hedonistic she-devils. Which I can respect. Charlene.”) A zealous supporter of the Thayan government, he is tolerated by his masters in Thay because he is supportive of them, and also because he is incredibly easy to dupe towards whatever hideous ends the Zulkirs have in mind. For reasons known only to Helm, likely because of his subservience and oaths to the government of Thay and the Thayan people (equally likely: Helm is too busy to notice Colbert in action,) he has retained his Paladin’s abilities (although he is a devout follower of the Paladin code, quick to cite passages to non-believers or if it ever should come into question. “Because I follow the Paladin’s code, I must be a Paladin.”) Sir Stephen is often seen supporting his evil masters in Thay, blissfully unaware or quick to justify whatever actions his master takes (“those peasants over there. Evil. Why else would they rebel against the righteous people in charge?”) If the party is an enemy of Thay, he will smite them without mercy (often shocked that his smiting didn’t work,) and will defend to the death any servant of the Red Wizards. Colbert has no tolerance for people against Thay’s expansion, elitist intellectuals, and bears. Sir Stephen of Colbert CR 10 Male Human Paladin 10 LG [“The only kind of good to be. Pick a side Neutral Good!”] Medium Humanoid (Human) Init +1; Senses Listen +1, Spot +1 Aura: Law, Good Languages: Common, Mulani, Giant ---------- AC 21; touch 11, flat-footed 20 hp 79 (10 HD) Immune: Disease, Fear For +12 Ref +7 Will +7 ---------- Speed 20 ft. (4 squares) Melee: +2 Longsword +15/+10 (1d8+5; 19-20/x2) Base Atk +10, Grp +12 Atk Options: Smite Evil 3/day (+3 attack, +10 damage), Mounted Combat (+16,) Ride-By-Attack Combat Gear: 1 Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds Paladin Spells Prepared (CL 5): 1st: Divine Favor 2nd: Bull’s Strength Spell-like Ability (CL 10): At Will: Detect Evil 3/week: Remove Disease (he rarely uses this power “I don’t believe in healing the sick. Let them get better by themselves. Its what the gods intended.”) --------- Abilities Str 14, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 12, Cha 17 SQ Divine Grace, Lay on Hands (30 HP/day,) Turn Undead (6/day, as 7th level Cleric,) Special Mount (below) Feats Mounted Combat, Persuasive, Ride-By Attack, Skill Focus (Intimidate) [“nailing” people], Weapon Focus (Longsword) Skills Balance -3, Bluff +5, Climb -2, Concentration +7, Diplomacy +7, Escape Artist -3, Handle Animal +8, Hide -3, Intimidate +14, Jump -2, Knowledge (Religion) +9, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) +7, Move Silently -3, Perform (Oratory) +8, Ride +16, Sense Motive +6, Sleight of Hand -3, Swim -6, Tumble -3 [Stephen has 6.5 ranks in Intimidate (the most he can have at this level)] Possessions: combat gear plus Freedom (Mount, a Warhorse, see below,) +2 Longsword, +2 Breastplate, +1 Heavy Steel Shield, Wand of Cure Light Wounds, and 115 gp Next, a more Eberron-friendly moral ambiguity-ridden version: Sir Stephen of Colbert, Servant of The Flame, Flame’s Defender, “Paladin” Male Human Fighter 10 LN “They say the war is only over because everyone’s tired of fighting. They call themselves realists, but I call these people quitters. Sure, the cut-and-run life-huggers who wouldn’t want the Last War to run a couple of more centuries would want you to think this war was never-ending. That’s why Thrane needed to win this war: it was supposed to be the last one.” - Sir Stephen of Colbert Stephen of Colbert grew up around Flamekeep and desired ardently to serve the Flame as a Paladin. He joined the Order of the Flame, although his Paladin abilities have yet to manifest (“any day now.”) He gets offended if you make light of the fact he doesn’t register on Detect Good spells, often blaming the failure on “moon interference,” or berating the caster as though they were lying. But, Colbert isn’t exactly Paladin material: he’s self-righteous and his Wisdom isn’t exactly forthcoming for the class (although some wittier ‘cut-and-run life-huggers’ have quipped this makes him perfect Paladin material.) Although he’s an stubborn supporter for Law and Order, he just doesn’t totally get “justice,” “mercy,” or “compassion.” Until then, Sir Stephen rides for the Flame and for Thrane, a Servant of Good, even if it means doing some evil things every once in a while (“of course the ends justify the means, I read it in a book. Oh I forget what it was called. Something about fighting Vile Darkness.”) He is quick to try and prostletyze and witness to whomever is around, and he is a fairly convincing speaker, but his real talent lies in combat. Even if he isn’t a Paladin, Colbert is a talented swordsman and someone quick to play on his opponents fears and doubts to make openings (“nailing them” he calls it.) Although his politics lie far to the right of fascist, Sir Stephen can serve as either a worthy ally (or ardent enemy) of anyone who crosses his path. He serves the Church of the Silver Flame, and is generally tolerated, since he is mostly harmless. But woe unto the Bear that crosses his path (“Breland, I’m looking at you!”) His stubbornness makes charm spells difficult to cast on him (or more difficult than you’d think. “See, I told you. Divine grace.”) Sir Stephen of Colbert CR 10 Male Human Fighter 10 LN Medium Humanoid (Human) Init +5; Senses Listen -1, Spot -1 Languages: Common, Dwarven, Gnome ---------- AC 21; touch 11, flat-footed 20 hp 89 (10 HD) For +11 Ref +6 Will +8 ---------- Speed 20 ft. (4 squares) Melee: Longsword +15/+10 [1d8+4;17-20/x2] Base Atk +10, Grp +12 Atk Options: Combat Expertise (typically only applied first round;) Demoralize (+31; standard action;) Feint (+9; Standard Action), Power Attack (with longsword -1 attack/+1 damage, up to -10/+10) Combat Gear: Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds --------- Abilities Str 14, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 8, Cha 17 Feats Combat Expertise, Force of Personality* [Complete Adventurer], Improved Critical (Longsword), Improved Feint, Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness* [Complete Warrior], Power Attack, Skill Focus (Intimidate), Skill Focus (Perform [Oratory]), Weapon Focus (Longsword), Weapon Specialization (Longsword) Skills Balance -3, Bluff +9, Climb -2, Diplomacy +7, Escape Artist -3, Hide -3, Intimidate +31, Jump -2, Knowledge (Local [Thrane]) +5, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) +6, Knowledge (Religion) +7, Move Silently -3, Perform (Oratory) +12, Sleight of Hand -3, Swim -6, Tumble -3, Use Magic Device +4 [*He has maximum ranks in Bluff and Perform (Oratory) (6.5)] Possessions: +2 Longsword, +2 Breastplate, +1 Heavy Steel Shield, Ring of the Righteous Flame (+10 to Intimidate checks), Cloak of Resistance +2, Wand of Cure Light Wounds (convinced he can use it, but that it’s malfunctioning; has to roll a 16 or better on his Use Magic Device check for it to work), Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds, 15 gp Typical Tactics: 1) Get into combat range. Combat Expertise +5 to AC, -5 to attack. 2) Demoralize and Feint. 3) Attack. 4) Feint, Attack, and Repeat as Needed.
warlock_devilkill 04-03-07, 11:49 AM	Oh dorkknight too funny man! You had me laughing so hard i was crying. Maybe the greyhawk version should be paladin/ranger with favored enemies being cut-and-runners and bears, they are godless killing machines after all.:D i hope there is more people out there with somemore like this.
warlock_devilkill 04-11-07, 11:11 AM	anymore anyone?
Zodiaq7 04-11-07, 01:13 PM	I'd day for the character he plays on the Colbert Report, go human evangelist, LG, go epic level, maybe do the fire-souled template from crystalkeep.com that pushes his charisma and lets him turn off charisma based abilities.
Kingfisher 04-12-07, 11:23 AM	ROFL dorkknight that was golden.
El_Shawno 04-24-07, 11:20 PM	I'm a big fan of the colbert report. Anyone who watches the show knows he's a nerd/geek so i started wondering if stephen was a dnd character what would he be? I of course mean the character stephen colbert not the real stephen colbert. So now i ask you members of the colbert nation what would stephen's character be? class level race-human feats skills etc... He'd be a Bard - say at least 10th level by now. His Perform and Bluff skills would at least 20. He'd also have a level or two of Ranger. Favored enemy? Bears, of course!
Gwenfloor 04-26-07, 09:24 PM	In Greyhawk, he would be a Lawful Neutral Fighter/Cleric of Pholtus in the Theocracy of the Pale. Stephen Colbert is a stalwart Lawful Neutral human worshiper of Pholtus. He isn't a Paladin because he doesn't want to respect the dignity of all sentient beings, such as those Troll terrorists in the Troll Fens along with their vicious bear minions. He favors spells that smite chaotic rebels and anarchists, and he prefers to use a quill over other weapons, because the pen is mightier than the sword. Stephen Colbert disapproves of St. Cuthbert, because he disagrees with Pholtus' views; "You're with us, or you're with the terrorists!" Stephen Colbert's formidable opponents include bears, anyone who doubts the wisdom of Pholtus, The Empire of Iuz, and Mordenkainen. His special quality is "truthiness," defined as "the quality by which one purports to know something emotionally or instinctively, without regard to evidence or intellectual examination." which allows him to never become an ex-cleric, because if he did not violate the code of conduct intentionally, it is all well and good! Stephen Colbert was trained as a Cleric by his mentor, Bill O' Reily, which Colbert affectionately refers to as "Papa bear." Woe betide anyone who mentions to Colbert that his hatred of bears contradicts his affectionate term!
warlock_devilkill 04-27-07, 11:13 AM	very good, just 1 thing...who is pholtus?
Gwenfloor 04-27-07, 02:54 PM	A god in Greyhawk who was formally Lawful Good, but was changed to being Lawful Neutral for sanctioning torture against arcane spell casters and non-worshipers, converting others to Pholtus against their will, and having Paladins that praised Law over Good. Part of Pholtus' dogma includes wiping out Chaos before wiping out Evil. Download the Living Greyhawk Deities v 2.0 (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=lg/welcome)
warlock_devilkill 04-28-07, 02:13 PM	ok that kinda explains it