Critque a Sorceress' Background [Archive] - Wizards Community

Critque a Sorceress' Background [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Skyrocket
10-31-05, 01:43 AM Here's a character I made for my homebrew world. Any comments are welcome.

Ursula Heartfire: One of the young heirs of the legendary Heartfire clan. The Heartfires are a line of nobles in city of Karlania who have their hands in just about everything thing in one way or another.

The clan was founded 300 years before when Marcus Heartfire, a bard of wide renown, married a high-born Karlanian aristocrat. Marcus and his wife’s numerous connections across the kingdom of Karlania formed the basis of the massive network of interests the Heartfires control to this day.

The Heartfires have long had a reputation for charisma and attacking whatever captures their interests with a passion. Young Ursula, at only 17, is a prime example of this family tendency. Too good an example some of her elders think.

Three years ago Ursula discovered she was a sorceress after shooting fire from her hands while being lectured by her great aunt Eleanor for a disrespectful comment about her hairstyle. Aunt Eleanor has been without eyebrows since that day and absolutely refuses to be in the same building as Ursula under any circumstances. Her reason for this is a fear that “that dreadful child might well try and finish me off.” Ursula (and more than a few other members of the Heartfires) would dearly like to see that happen. But Ursula decided that flambéing Aunt Eleanor wouldn’t be worth the trouble she’d get in later years ago.

Sorcerers have been known to run in the Heartfire clan so her parents quickly placed their daughter under the tutelage of a veteran mage who had many years of dealing with young nobles learning the ways of magic under her belt. She quite after only three days with “No one could teach that child! She’s mad!” as her only explanation.

Senior members of the Heartfire clan have noted that there’s been a spike in unexplained fires and magical vandalism in the city ever since Ursula discovered her powers. The fact that the girl is most interested in evocation spells has also been commented on (usually after several strong drinks and a potion meant to relieve headaches). Without solid proof no one wants to even question Ursula about these incidents. Accusing a fellow Heartfire of a crime without irrefutable evidence is considered a most grievous crime in the clan. Fear of an angry Ursula burning their homes down is also a factor.

Ursula favors form-fitting outfits with Elvin-style patterns embroidered on them. Being a natural redhead most of her outfits tend to also be red to accent this feature. More than a little vain, Ursula is very proud of her natural beauty but tends to wear a little too much make-up. No one has yet had the courage to tell her this makes her look slightly tacky.

In combat Ursula if very much from the “Fireball first and ask questions later!” school of though. She often taunts and insults her foes during fights and delights in tossing out pithy comments to anyone she defeats (should they still be alive). Those raised an aristocrat, Ursula tends to speak in a very casual style that might be better suited to a sharp-tongued tavern wench. She can also swear to make a sailor blush when angry.

A desire to escape the restrictiveness of her family has recently caused Ursula to take an active interest in adventuring. She has discreetly been looking for trustworthy adventures to join up with. Her family knows all about this and has actually been discreetly trying to help Ursula. For no other reason than to able to enjoy more nights free of worry about what the girl might destroy next.

So far they have yet to find anyone willing to take Ursula on. “Haven’t you heard about that girl? They say she’s mad!” is the most common response when asked. Several people who have made that comment to a disguised Ursula are currently without their eyebrows and likely will be for the rest of their lives.
Setherial
10-31-05, 03:48 AM I see her as a good NPC who might cross paths with the players on occasion and add some flavour to the game. But as you stated yourself she will be a loner as noone will put up with her.
erbmjw
10-31-05, 06:50 AM Is she an NPC?
Skyrocket
10-31-05, 07:34 AM Is she an NPC?

Yes, she'll be crashing the party (pardon the pun) for a time and will likely turn up again from time to time. Depening on how things go she might end up a long-term party character with me playing her when someone else is doing the DMing.
erbmjw
10-31-05, 11:08 AM what ( approximate ) level is she?
Skyrocket
11-01-05, 04:02 AM what ( approximate ) level is she?

I'm still working on that. Level 3-4 is what I'm thinking at the moment.
erbmjw
11-01-05, 05:55 AM Is your home-brew world light on magic and magic users?
Skyrocket
11-01-05, 09:24 AM Is your home-brew world light on magic and magic users?

No, I'd say mages are about as common as in most D&D worlds.
erbmjw
11-01-05, 10:36 AM Then a powerful, rich and noble clan would not be worried about offending the 'spoiled child' ( 17 year old 3-4 level sorceress) Fear of an angry Ursula burning their homes down is also a factor

The clan could completely clamp down on her - but people from outside the clan would be worried about offending both her and her clan.

In a magic light world she would be more dangerous and thus harder to control.

****

Another comment/concern

The Heartfires have long had a reputation for charisma and attacking whatever captures their interests with a passion. Young Ursula, at only 17, is a prime example of this family tendency. Too good an example some of her elders think.

The way you have wrote the background Ursula certainly attacks her interest with a passion - but she is an opposite of the family in the other point - because she shows almost no reputation for charisma ;)
Dippiey
11-01-05, 11:38 AM Another comment/concern

The way you have wrote the background Ursula certainly attacks her interest with a passion - but she is an opposite of the family in the other point - because she shows almost no reputation for charisma ;)

I don't know about that. If I thought if I offended her she would burn off my eye brows, then I would consider her personality quite forceful. ;)
Rickiel
11-01-05, 12:15 PM I like her!

To me it seems Ursula does need to have a few trustworthy types around. One's who are not afraid of fire... Makes me kinda wish she was in a campaign I'm playing in now. I don't think a Tiefling Warlock is going to be too afraid of fire. And just might tell her not to put so much bloody make up on!

I'm loving every bit of Ursula!
Skyrocket
11-01-05, 07:37 PM Then a powerful, rich and noble clan would not be worried about offending the 'spoiled child' ( 17 year old 3-4 level sorceress)

The clan could completely clamp down on her - but people from outside the clan would be worried about offending both her and her clan.

In a magic light world she would be more dangerous and thus harder to control.

As I said, accusing another member of the clan of something without solid proof is a big deal with the Heartfires. Clamping down on Ursula witout proof would pretty much be the sam thing. Nevermind what she might do to anyone who tried.

Letting her be while working on a way to get her out of town is generally seen as the least dangerous option for dealing with Ursula by the clan.
erbmjw
11-02-05, 07:21 AM I didn't suggest that they accuse her of any crime without proof - I only suggested that they would not be afraid of her as much as you had originaly written.

And if the family are as charismatic as you have written then the clamp down would come in a different form than in accusation of crimes.

***

A mercanary company could be bought into taking her on for a considerable price - ie give the mercanaries a home base somewhere in a Heartfires controlled territories - but in a remote location so that when Ursala goes with them - she can still be looked out for but not interfere with the family interests too often/much.

Or a Explorer's group needs a patron - "Since I am willing to invest so much in this (these) outing(s) I must insist that you take my daughter, Ursala, with you"

*****

In your world, specificaly within the Heartfire territories are the nobles legally allowed to attack and permanently damage commoners ( non-nobles ) for a minor insult?
Skyrocket
11-04-05, 11:53 AM I didn't suggest that they accuse her of any crime without proof - I only suggested that they would not be afraid of her as much as you had originaly written.

And if the family are as charismatic as you have written then the clamp down would come in a different form than in accusation of crimes.

In our world terms Ursula is pretty much an out of control rich kid who does whatever she wants and nothing her family seems to do to reign her in has worked so they've pretty much given up trying. I think most people knew someone like that in high school and that's sort of what I was aiming for.

A mercanary company could be bought into taking her on for a considerable price - ie give the mercanaries a home base somewhere in a Heartfires controlled territories - but in a remote location so that when Ursala goes with them - she can still be looked out for but not interfere with the family interests too often/much.

Or a Explorer's group needs a patron - "Since I am willing to invest so much in this (these) outing(s) I must insist that you take my daughter, Ursala, with you"

Which has been tried. But any smart bunch of mercs would find out a bit about Ursula before agreeing and her does have an rather infamous reputation (fully deserved).

In your world, specificaly within the Heartfire territories are the nobles legally allowed to attack and permanently damage commoners ( non-nobles ) for a minor insult?

Technically no, but the rich do have a way of getting away with things. Espeically "old money" types like the Heartfires. Most of the Heartfires are rather decent folk, if a bit stuck up. People have had to be paid off from time to time to keep some of Ursula's more wild escapdes under wraps. However, despite her wild ways, Ursula has used her abilities to help the clan on a number of occasions which earns her some slack. Sorcerers do run in the family but they're not that common. Only a few Heartfires per generation become sorcerers. Because of that, and the value the clan places on Charisma, they get treated with kid gloves more often than not.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Skyrocket 10-31-05, 01:43 AM	Here's a character I made for my homebrew world. Any comments are welcome. Ursula Heartfire: One of the young heirs of the legendary Heartfire clan. The Heartfires are a line of nobles in city of Karlania who have their hands in just about everything thing in one way or another. The clan was founded 300 years before when Marcus Heartfire, a bard of wide renown, married a high-born Karlanian aristocrat. Marcus and his wife’s numerous connections across the kingdom of Karlania formed the basis of the massive network of interests the Heartfires control to this day. The Heartfires have long had a reputation for charisma and attacking whatever captures their interests with a passion. Young Ursula, at only 17, is a prime example of this family tendency. Too good an example some of her elders think. Three years ago Ursula discovered she was a sorceress after shooting fire from her hands while being lectured by her great aunt Eleanor for a disrespectful comment about her hairstyle. Aunt Eleanor has been without eyebrows since that day and absolutely refuses to be in the same building as Ursula under any circumstances. Her reason for this is a fear that “that dreadful child might well try and finish me off.” Ursula (and more than a few other members of the Heartfires) would dearly like to see that happen. But Ursula decided that flambéing Aunt Eleanor wouldn’t be worth the trouble she’d get in later years ago. Sorcerers have been known to run in the Heartfire clan so her parents quickly placed their daughter under the tutelage of a veteran mage who had many years of dealing with young nobles learning the ways of magic under her belt. She quite after only three days with “No one could teach that child! She’s mad!” as her only explanation. Senior members of the Heartfire clan have noted that there’s been a spike in unexplained fires and magical vandalism in the city ever since Ursula discovered her powers. The fact that the girl is most interested in evocation spells has also been commented on (usually after several strong drinks and a potion meant to relieve headaches). Without solid proof no one wants to even question Ursula about these incidents. Accusing a fellow Heartfire of a crime without irrefutable evidence is considered a most grievous crime in the clan. Fear of an angry Ursula burning their homes down is also a factor. Ursula favors form-fitting outfits with Elvin-style patterns embroidered on them. Being a natural redhead most of her outfits tend to also be red to accent this feature. More than a little vain, Ursula is very proud of her natural beauty but tends to wear a little too much make-up. No one has yet had the courage to tell her this makes her look slightly tacky. In combat Ursula if very much from the “Fireball first and ask questions later!” school of though. She often taunts and insults her foes during fights and delights in tossing out pithy comments to anyone she defeats (should they still be alive). Those raised an aristocrat, Ursula tends to speak in a very casual style that might be better suited to a sharp-tongued tavern wench. She can also swear to make a sailor blush when angry. A desire to escape the restrictiveness of her family has recently caused Ursula to take an active interest in adventuring. She has discreetly been looking for trustworthy adventures to join up with. Her family knows all about this and has actually been discreetly trying to help Ursula. For no other reason than to able to enjoy more nights free of worry about what the girl might destroy next. So far they have yet to find anyone willing to take Ursula on. “Haven’t you heard about that girl? They say she’s mad!” is the most common response when asked. Several people who have made that comment to a disguised Ursula are currently without their eyebrows and likely will be for the rest of their lives.
Setherial 10-31-05, 03:48 AM	I see her as a good NPC who might cross paths with the players on occasion and add some flavour to the game. But as you stated yourself she will be a loner as noone will put up with her.
erbmjw 10-31-05, 06:50 AM	Is she an NPC?
Skyrocket 10-31-05, 07:34 AM	Is she an NPC? Yes, she'll be crashing the party (pardon the pun) for a time and will likely turn up again from time to time. Depening on how things go she might end up a long-term party character with me playing her when someone else is doing the DMing.
erbmjw 10-31-05, 11:08 AM	what ( approximate ) level is she?
Skyrocket 11-01-05, 04:02 AM	what ( approximate ) level is she? I'm still working on that. Level 3-4 is what I'm thinking at the moment.
erbmjw 11-01-05, 05:55 AM	Is your home-brew world light on magic and magic users?
Skyrocket 11-01-05, 09:24 AM	Is your home-brew world light on magic and magic users? No, I'd say mages are about as common as in most D&D worlds.
erbmjw 11-01-05, 10:36 AM	Then a powerful, rich and noble clan would not be worried about offending the 'spoiled child' ( 17 year old 3-4 level sorceress) Fear of an angry Ursula burning their homes down is also a factor The clan could completely clamp down on her - but people from outside the clan would be worried about offending both her and her clan. In a magic light world she would be more dangerous and thus harder to control. **** Another comment/concern The Heartfires have long had a reputation for charisma and attacking whatever captures their interests with a passion. Young Ursula, at only 17, is a prime example of this family tendency. Too good an example some of her elders think. The way you have wrote the background Ursula certainly attacks her interest with a passion - but she is an opposite of the family in the other point - because she shows almost no reputation for charisma ;)
Dippiey 11-01-05, 11:38 AM	Another comment/concern The way you have wrote the background Ursula certainly attacks her interest with a passion - but she is an opposite of the family in the other point - because she shows almost no reputation for charisma ;) I don't know about that. If I thought if I offended her she would burn off my eye brows, then I would consider her personality quite forceful. ;)
Rickiel 11-01-05, 12:15 PM	I like her! To me it seems Ursula does need to have a few trustworthy types around. One's who are not afraid of fire... Makes me kinda wish she was in a campaign I'm playing in now. I don't think a Tiefling Warlock is going to be too afraid of fire. And just might tell her not to put so much bloody make up on! I'm loving every bit of Ursula!
Skyrocket 11-01-05, 07:37 PM	Then a powerful, rich and noble clan would not be worried about offending the 'spoiled child' ( 17 year old 3-4 level sorceress) The clan could completely clamp down on her - but people from outside the clan would be worried about offending both her and her clan. In a magic light world she would be more dangerous and thus harder to control. As I said, accusing another member of the clan of something without solid proof is a big deal with the Heartfires. Clamping down on Ursula witout proof would pretty much be the sam thing. Nevermind what she might do to anyone who tried. Letting her be while working on a way to get her out of town is generally seen as the least dangerous option for dealing with Ursula by the clan.
erbmjw 11-02-05, 07:21 AM	I didn't suggest that they accuse her of any crime without proof - I only suggested that they would not be afraid of her as much as you had originaly written. And if the family are as charismatic as you have written then the clamp down would come in a different form than in accusation of crimes. * A mercanary company could be bought into taking her on for a considerable price - ie give the mercanaries a home base somewhere in a Heartfires controlled territories - but in a remote location so that when Ursala goes with them - she can still be looked out for but not interfere with the family interests too often/much. Or a Explorer's group needs a patron - "Since I am willing to invest so much in this (these) outing(s) I must insist that you take my daughter, Ursala, with you" *** In your world, specificaly within the Heartfire territories are the nobles legally allowed to attack and permanently damage commoners ( non-nobles ) for a minor insult?
Skyrocket 11-04-05, 11:53 AM	I didn't suggest that they accuse her of any crime without proof - I only suggested that they would not be afraid of her as much as you had originaly written. And if the family are as charismatic as you have written then the clamp down would come in a different form than in accusation of crimes. In our world terms Ursula is pretty much an out of control rich kid who does whatever she wants and nothing her family seems to do to reign her in has worked so they've pretty much given up trying. I think most people knew someone like that in high school and that's sort of what I was aiming for. A mercanary company could be bought into taking her on for a considerable price - ie give the mercanaries a home base somewhere in a Heartfires controlled territories - but in a remote location so that when Ursala goes with them - she can still be looked out for but not interfere with the family interests too often/much. Or a Explorer's group needs a patron - "Since I am willing to invest so much in this (these) outing(s) I must insist that you take my daughter, Ursala, with you" Which has been tried. But any smart bunch of mercs would find out a bit about Ursula before agreeing and her does have an rather infamous reputation (fully deserved). In your world, specificaly within the Heartfire territories are the nobles legally allowed to attack and permanently damage commoners ( non-nobles ) for a minor insult? Technically no, but the rich do have a way of getting away with things. Espeically "old money" types like the Heartfires. Most of the Heartfires are rather decent folk, if a bit stuck up. People have had to be paid off from time to time to keep some of Ursula's more wild escapdes under wraps. However, despite her wild ways, Ursula has used her abilities to help the clan on a number of occasions which earns her some slack. Sorcerers do run in the family but they're not that common. Only a few Heartfires per generation become sorcerers. Because of that, and the value the clan places on Charisma, they get treated with kid gloves more often than not.