Fallen Paladin (now LN) backstory - suggestions [Archive] - Wizards Community

Fallen Paladin (now LN) backstory - suggestions [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Dakr
01-05-08, 11:33 AM Ok. I'm trying to write up a non-cliche fallen paladin. His build includes cleric/crusader/ruby knight vindicator - he doesn't really have any paladin levels. He's Lawful Neutral, but I'm trying to set him apart from the "I'm lawful, and, thus, I have no sense of humor" routine. In this first post, it's the first part of the story, but I promise I'll be more objective in the second part. English is not my first language and I haven't read or written anything in that language for quite a while, so excuse any mispellings or grammar errors - but feel free to correct them if you wish. I hope you like it, and sorry it's so long:

Although the first melancolic notes already echoed from minstress Laurana Auradhan's harp into The Red Goblin, the most popular tavern in Calimshore, still very few people attended to the recital. Most of the spectators were swallowing goosebumps - Laurana's music was an urban night classic, and it brought sad memories from friends and relatives that had died in the recent events.

Cyrak Stone sat at a table at the bottom of the room, near the unlit fireplace, and watched the spectacle. The inhabitants of Calimshore were trying to get back to their normal lives, it seemed, but the scars were to fresh and too deep. Everything was calm now, at least. He sighed deeply while mindlessly twitching with a carved holy symbol of his deity, Wee Jas. He often admired that symbol. A gift from his wife, who'd be arriving in a few days. He scratched his saved head and leaned back, relaxing from the anxiety of his beloved's arrival and turning his attention to the show.

Laurana the bard had a quirky beauty about her. She was young and brought, it seemed, a permanent aura of mistery and sadness about her - and it wasn't just a mere reflection from the war. It was something inherent to her, and it suited perfectly to her sweet voice and beautiful music.

The paladin was lost in that reverie when a hoarse, mocking tenor voice sounded from his right side:

"Glory of Pelor, my brother".

Cyrak grinned. Turning around, there was his friend, the young Sindri Brynmor, still half-smiling from his innocent joke. He wore his usual shiny chainmail and a white tabard over it, with a huge Pelor emblem adorned to it. His dark brown hair, still caked from sweat from the heat outside, fell to his shoulders, and he displayed his characteristic odd childish smile that contrasted so much with the stern moustache and goatee that paladins of Pelor are obliged to use. He drawed a chair and sat down by his friend's side, his attention suddenly drawed by the bard's beauty. She beamed a sad smile at him, which he retrieved - none of which escaped from Cyrak's sight.

"I thought you weren't coming anymore", said Cyrak. Sindri almost said something, but was still staring at the bard. "How are things in the frontier?", asked Cyrak.

"Hmm pretty much calm now", Sindri answered, this time fully focused in the conversation. "I guess no undead were left this time. We did one great job, huh?".

Cyrak nodded, but said nothing. He was actually expecting to find some useful magical items with the necromancer that commanded the army that stormed Calimshore, but only a few scrolls and wands were found. The Pelor paladins, though, were happy on having destroyed hundreds of mindless walking corpses. Go figure. It was a rare occasion when paladins of both Wee Jas and Pelor worked together, and it was in this war that he had met Sindri, only a few weeks before.

They remained silent for a couple moments. Cyrak wasn't wearing any armor in his strong, bulky body. Despite his almost 50 years old age, he still rocked in combat, but, in those those still times, he happened to be assigned to teaching, since most of the teachers in town were either killed or ran away.

"How about you? Any news from around here", Sindri asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes, there is... I've receiveda letter. My wife is arriving shortly for a visit", he said grinning with pride, the deep wrinckles enhancing the wisdom in his dark blue eyes. "Luckily, she'll be bringing our two daughters with her".

It was Sindri's turn to remain silent.

"Have you got a family, Sindri?", Cyrak asked, to which Sindri slowly nodded, without taking his gaze off stage. He continued, "children...?".

"Nay. Not yet. Just the marriage", the paladin of Pelor promptly replied. His voice lacked enthusiasm, though.

"I see", Cyrak said in a thoughtful voice, scratching his overgrown beard. He risked a little bit more, "but it's the bard you really like, right?".

Sindri nodded once more, this time with his eyes wet with tears. He still stared at her and only her, the mournful music an adequate soundtrack.

"Since you're alway from home anyway, why don't you just run away with her then?".

"It's no that simple, Cyrak", Sindri said, wiping the tears from his eyes and looking at his friend. His clear brown eyes were truly a window to his soul. Cyrak knew Sindri very little, but already knew he was a terrible liar because of those eyes that translated so easily every emotion that fevered in that strange soul. "My marriage was planned by my father as a way to form an alliance between two very influent families in my land, Stromgarde. I never loved my life and I never will... but I was married by a priest of Pelor, in His House. To abandon my wife would mean certain downfall in my career. I don't want to end up like Michels - you remember him, right? That friend of mine, 40 years old or so and still only a foot soldier... yeah, he cheated on his wife and ended up like that".

Cyrak chose his words cautiously for what he was about to say. "Look, Sindri... don't get me wrong. I don't like to interfere with other churches' business, but I'm older than you and I can see you're destroying yourself by taking the church too seriously. You see, you guys became a little too big to be controlled. This priest that's commanding your party, this... this..."

"Lockhaart".

"Yes, this Lockhaart. Keep an eye open, Sindri. This guy's a serpent", he warned. Sindri only smiled, not getting offended at all to his friend's remark. "I know, Cyrak... he seems arrogant to some, but that's all. He's a good man, trust me", he said, all the while twitching his own silver holy symbol of Pelor.
The_Shaman
01-06-08, 08:39 PM Wait, are you using the traditional RKV - which is a cleric of Wee Jas - or another one? Because conceptwise, somehow it doesn't quite work for me at present - or, rather, it should work in reverse. The situation is illogical given the religious adherence of the two people, and if they are seriously devout, they should act in some concordance with their dogmas.

When you're a cleric of a certain deity, or a paladin devoted to a related order, that should mean something - such as that at least to a certain degree, you espouce that deity's philosophy. Wee Jas and her clergy preach stern behavior, respect for hierarchy and obedience, and as her servant it would be quite atypical of Cyrak to speak against such virtues, even in his councel to a nonbeliever. Had he been the servant of Pelor and Sindri of Wee Jas, their conversation would imo make a lot more sense.

I'm not saying that it's completely impossible, just that it would be a rather strange situation that should not be typical of the character's behavior. Having a good family life and love for your wife - or even, in a more extreme case, women/men in general is not incompatible with being a good devotee of the Ruby Goddess, but treating institutions like marriage and hierarchy lightly may well be.
Dakr
01-07-08, 06:17 AM I'm not saying that it's completely impossible, just that it would be a rather strange situation that should not be typical of the character's behavior. Having a good family life and love for your wife - or even, in a more extreme case, women/men in general is not incompatible with being a good devotee of the Ruby Goddess, but treating institutions like marriage and hierarchy lightly may well be.

Hmmm. It's an interesting way of viewing this. However, I have 2 distinct reasons that could explain Cyrak's behavior:

1. Cyrak wanted Sindri to let go of Pelor altogether and join his ranks. Convincing Sindri that even his marriage wasn't all worth it would be the first step to 'enlightenment'.

2. Under a more humanized view, even a priest is also human (or demi-human :P). Cyrak would be talking as a friend, not as a priest. Like a prosecutor that counsels his friend to leave his country because of a crime he committed. That only makes sense in a more flexible way of viewing clerics in D&D. In the campaigns I play, deities do not directly interfere nor clerics lose powers if they become corrupt, pretty much like in Eberron. I don't know if my current DM will treat things like that, but I guess he will.

Even so, Cyrak can't be a paladin of Wee Jas, but a cleric. Anyway, I was thinking "paladin" more like a title conferred to RKVs, not strictly the paladin class.

What do you think?

Thanks for the input :)

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Dakr 01-05-08, 11:33 AM	Ok. I'm trying to write up a non-cliche fallen paladin. His build includes cleric/crusader/ruby knight vindicator - he doesn't really have any paladin levels. He's Lawful Neutral, but I'm trying to set him apart from the "I'm lawful, and, thus, I have no sense of humor" routine. In this first post, it's the first part of the story, but I promise I'll be more objective in the second part. English is not my first language and I haven't read or written anything in that language for quite a while, so excuse any mispellings or grammar errors - but feel free to correct them if you wish. I hope you like it, and sorry it's so long: Although the first melancolic notes already echoed from minstress Laurana Auradhan's harp into The Red Goblin, the most popular tavern in Calimshore, still very few people attended to the recital. Most of the spectators were swallowing goosebumps - Laurana's music was an urban night classic, and it brought sad memories from friends and relatives that had died in the recent events. Cyrak Stone sat at a table at the bottom of the room, near the unlit fireplace, and watched the spectacle. The inhabitants of Calimshore were trying to get back to their normal lives, it seemed, but the scars were to fresh and too deep. Everything was calm now, at least. He sighed deeply while mindlessly twitching with a carved holy symbol of his deity, Wee Jas. He often admired that symbol. A gift from his wife, who'd be arriving in a few days. He scratched his saved head and leaned back, relaxing from the anxiety of his beloved's arrival and turning his attention to the show. Laurana the bard had a quirky beauty about her. She was young and brought, it seemed, a permanent aura of mistery and sadness about her - and it wasn't just a mere reflection from the war. It was something inherent to her, and it suited perfectly to her sweet voice and beautiful music. The paladin was lost in that reverie when a hoarse, mocking tenor voice sounded from his right side: "Glory of Pelor, my brother". Cyrak grinned. Turning around, there was his friend, the young Sindri Brynmor, still half-smiling from his innocent joke. He wore his usual shiny chainmail and a white tabard over it, with a huge Pelor emblem adorned to it. His dark brown hair, still caked from sweat from the heat outside, fell to his shoulders, and he displayed his characteristic odd childish smile that contrasted so much with the stern moustache and goatee that paladins of Pelor are obliged to use. He drawed a chair and sat down by his friend's side, his attention suddenly drawed by the bard's beauty. She beamed a sad smile at him, which he retrieved - none of which escaped from Cyrak's sight. "I thought you weren't coming anymore", said Cyrak. Sindri almost said something, but was still staring at the bard. "How are things in the frontier?", asked Cyrak. "Hmm pretty much calm now", Sindri answered, this time fully focused in the conversation. "I guess no undead were left this time. We did one great job, huh?". Cyrak nodded, but said nothing. He was actually expecting to find some useful magical items with the necromancer that commanded the army that stormed Calimshore, but only a few scrolls and wands were found. The Pelor paladins, though, were happy on having destroyed hundreds of mindless walking corpses. Go figure. It was a rare occasion when paladins of both Wee Jas and Pelor worked together, and it was in this war that he had met Sindri, only a few weeks before. They remained silent for a couple moments. Cyrak wasn't wearing any armor in his strong, bulky body. Despite his almost 50 years old age, he still rocked in combat, but, in those those still times, he happened to be assigned to teaching, since most of the teachers in town were either killed or ran away. "How about you? Any news from around here", Sindri asked. "As a matter of fact, yes, there is... I've receiveda letter. My wife is arriving shortly for a visit", he said grinning with pride, the deep wrinckles enhancing the wisdom in his dark blue eyes. "Luckily, she'll be bringing our two daughters with her". It was Sindri's turn to remain silent. "Have you got a family, Sindri?", Cyrak asked, to which Sindri slowly nodded, without taking his gaze off stage. He continued, "children...?". "Nay. Not yet. Just the marriage", the paladin of Pelor promptly replied. His voice lacked enthusiasm, though. "I see", Cyrak said in a thoughtful voice, scratching his overgrown beard. He risked a little bit more, "but it's the bard you really like, right?". Sindri nodded once more, this time with his eyes wet with tears. He still stared at her and only her, the mournful music an adequate soundtrack. "Since you're alway from home anyway, why don't you just run away with her then?". "It's no that simple, Cyrak", Sindri said, wiping the tears from his eyes and looking at his friend. His clear brown eyes were truly a window to his soul. Cyrak knew Sindri very little, but already knew he was a terrible liar because of those eyes that translated so easily every emotion that fevered in that strange soul. "My marriage was planned by my father as a way to form an alliance between two very influent families in my land, Stromgarde. I never loved my life and I never will... but I was married by a priest of Pelor, in His House. To abandon my wife would mean certain downfall in my career. I don't want to end up like Michels - you remember him, right? That friend of mine, 40 years old or so and still only a foot soldier... yeah, he cheated on his wife and ended up like that". Cyrak chose his words cautiously for what he was about to say. "Look, Sindri... don't get me wrong. I don't like to interfere with other churches' business, but I'm older than you and I can see you're destroying yourself by taking the church too seriously. You see, you guys became a little too big to be controlled. This priest that's commanding your party, this... this..." "Lockhaart". "Yes, this Lockhaart. Keep an eye open, Sindri. This guy's a serpent", he warned. Sindri only smiled, not getting offended at all to his friend's remark. "I know, Cyrak... he seems arrogant to some, but that's all. He's a good man, trust me", he said, all the while twitching his own silver holy symbol of Pelor.
The_Shaman 01-06-08, 08:39 PM	Wait, are you using the traditional RKV - which is a cleric of Wee Jas - or another one? Because conceptwise, somehow it doesn't quite work for me at present - or, rather, it should work in reverse. The situation is illogical given the religious adherence of the two people, and if they are seriously devout, they should act in some concordance with their dogmas. When you're a cleric of a certain deity, or a paladin devoted to a related order, that should mean something - such as that at least to a certain degree, you espouce that deity's philosophy. Wee Jas and her clergy preach stern behavior, respect for hierarchy and obedience, and as her servant it would be quite atypical of Cyrak to speak against such virtues, even in his councel to a nonbeliever. Had he been the servant of Pelor and Sindri of Wee Jas, their conversation would imo make a lot more sense. I'm not saying that it's completely impossible, just that it would be a rather strange situation that should not be typical of the character's behavior. Having a good family life and love for your wife - or even, in a more extreme case, women/men in general is not incompatible with being a good devotee of the Ruby Goddess, but treating institutions like marriage and hierarchy lightly may well be.
Dakr 01-07-08, 06:17 AM	I'm not saying that it's completely impossible, just that it would be a rather strange situation that should not be typical of the character's behavior. Having a good family life and love for your wife - or even, in a more extreme case, women/men in general is not incompatible with being a good devotee of the Ruby Goddess, but treating institutions like marriage and hierarchy lightly may well be. Hmmm. It's an interesting way of viewing this. However, I have 2 distinct reasons that could explain Cyrak's behavior: 1. Cyrak wanted Sindri to let go of Pelor altogether and join his ranks. Convincing Sindri that even his marriage wasn't all worth it would be the first step to 'enlightenment'. 2. Under a more humanized view, even a priest is also human (or demi-human :P). Cyrak would be talking as a friend, not as a priest. Like a prosecutor that counsels his friend to leave his country because of a crime he committed. That only makes sense in a more flexible way of viewing clerics in D&D. In the campaigns I play, deities do not directly interfere nor clerics lose powers if they become corrupt, pretty much like in Eberron. I don't know if my current DM will treat things like that, but I guess he will. Even so, Cyrak can't be a paladin of Wee Jas, but a cleric. Anyway, I was thinking "paladin" more like a title conferred to RKVs, not strictly the paladin class. What do you think? Thanks for the input :)