Post/Author/DateTime	Post
SOKAR 05-15-05, 08:56 PM	Basically, this is my first attempt at writing a character background... Any suggestions are much appreciated! Drew Elan-Psion Region of Origin: Adar, Sarlona Drew was born on the continent of Sarlona, in an isolated community in the country of Adar. He was born with several medical defects, which could only be healed by the transformation to elan. His parents had to travel far and pay lots of money for this transformation, so they wanted to make sure he didn’t grow up to be a bum or something. At school, Drew was often teased for being different. He frequently got beat up by other kids. He rarely ate a lot, and was thin and scrawny most of his childhood One day, around the age of ten, it was after school, and as usual, he was being beat up, and was thinking “Help me”. He concentrated on this thought for six long seconds, when suddenly, the blows let up. The kids were running away, and he saw a creature punch one out cold. The creature then disappeared. Needless to say, Drew was pretty surprised by this event. “Did I do that?” was the only thought on his mind as he ran home. He kept this event secret in case it wasn’t he that conjured the creature. Yet for a few days after the incident, the creature showed up to help him. One day, safe in his room, he tried to see if he could do it. Thrice he was able to before falling exhausted. The creatures never stayed long enough for him to study them, but he was always able to summon them whenever someone decided to beat up on him. After a while he showed this to his parents. They, being well successful Nomads, were able to recognize it for what it was: an Astral Construct, and their ten-year-old son had just shown his first inking of psionic talent. Drew was sent off to a school to learn the ways of psionics. He trained for the next fifteen years. In the academy Drew was known for being friendly, and now grown, he has a soft spot for kids with similar childhood problems. Shortly after graduating the academy, news of his parents’ deaths brought him home. While going through their things, he found some thing in the back of the house that he never knew existed. A permanent teleportation circle. Nothing left for him at home but bad memories of his childhood, he stepped on to the circle. He appeared in a small cave in a forest. After wandering for a couple days, he came upon the city Sharn… Edit: Added some stuff
Harrow Blade 05-18-05, 02:38 AM	It is definitly a good start and I have seen alot worse. If you are looking for a way to flesh out your character take a look here (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=398681). Other than that the only suggestion i have at the moment id try breaking the text up into smaller paragraphs, it makes it alot easier to read.