Post/Author/DateTime	Post
BobtheBiotitan 05-13-07, 12:00 PM	“There it is! Shoot the engines out, but don’t hit the repulsors!” one of the armored Stormtroopers orders the other two in the military speeder around. The twin linked blasters on the speeder open fire on a luxurious black closed top aircar. The bolts instantly burn a hole in the outer shell of the cab. One of them hits the right engine. It instantly flares as the plasma leaks out of the closed circuit. “DAMNIT!” The trooper rages. “You hit the repulsor!” The damaged engine fails to continue giving thrust to the craft. It lists to the side and loses altitude quickly. *CRACK* It smashes right into a high rise building and falls straight towards the ground. *SMASH* It hits a balcony which only slow its descent momentarily. The balcony collapses and the car falls another thirty feet to the ground. The military speeder approaches the crash. It hovers a few feet off the ground. “See if any are alive.” the leader of the group orders. The stormtroopers draw their blaster rifles and walk over to the wreck. “You get to dig. You’ll be lucky if I don’t report you for incompetence after that little stunt with the blasters up there.” the leader trooper threatens The unfortunate trooper shoulders his rifle and starts pulling metal scrap from the wreck. The other stormtrooper kicks idly at the wreckage. After only a short minute of digging the unfortunate stormtrooper stops digging and turns around “I found the boy. He’s alive.” The trooper reports “What about the driver?” the leader asks “He’s dead.” Is the only reply. “Very well. Pull the boy out and put him in the speeder. They have something special planned for this one.” His orders are followed and soon the speeder is on its way. After ten minutes of weaving through traffic the speeder slows to a halt at a large wall. Two large blaster turrets are trained on the speeder. A stormtrooper approaches it. “I need to see your passcode.” He asks. A moment later he is examining a card in his had. “Everything seems to be in order.” He hits the button for his internal speakers “Open up the gate.” A large metal bulkhead slides down and allows the speeder to continue on it’s path. It keeps up a healthy pace until the stormtrooper leader orders “Stop here. This place is as good as any.” The speeder grinds to a halt in response. They drag the body of a young boy dressed in a Tux out of the backseat. “Look at this sap. Lived all his life in luxury. Now he gets to see the other side of the world.” He remarkes disgusted “GUAHAHAHAHAHA! He gets what he deserves!” Muscled arms carry him through a sliding door and into a not so clean hallway. They unceremoniously dump him in a corner before they leave. The young boy sits in a crumpled heap. If it weren’t for his present condition then he would look quite dashing dressed in a black Tuxedo jacket with a burnt orange vest underneath. The Jacket is dirtied with some unidentifiable gritty grime, and has a minor tear near the front left pocket. Gel perhaps once held his hair in some fashionable pose, but now his hair is smashed flat to his head. A great purple whelp of a bruise is beginning to show up on his otherwise flawless face. The boy was fortunate in the fact that one of the many gangs did not pass by while he was unconscious. Indeed he was fortunate that no one rifled through his pockets in his state. Perhaps they were scared of his rich dress, or perhaps they thought he was dead and their fingerprints would be on the scene. Whatever the reason it left the boy with the slimmest of chances at surviving in this hellhole of a world they called the undercity. Theres the events that will unfold moments before the freeformish solo game I will be participating in. Here is my particular character as of right now: Ghent Lanweaver Level 1 Male Noble Str:12 Dex:15 Con:13 Int:17 Wis:12 Cha:17 Major skills Bluff +7 Computer Use +7 Diplomacy +7 Disguise +7 Entertain (Electric Violin) +7 Gather Info (CC) +5 Intimidate +9 Knowledge -Beurocracy +4 -Business +4 -Politics +4 -Technology +4 Sense Motive +5 Sleight of Hand (CC) +4 Feats Point Blank Shot Cosmopolitan (Intimidate) Weapons Knife (MC+3) +1 (1d4+4) Hold Out Blaster Pistol (MC+2) +3 (3d4+3) Armor Reinforced Tuxedo Jacket (Leather Jerkin) -MC +1, Personalized(-1 ACP) DR:2 Equipment All Temperature Cloak Comlink Credit Chip (150 credits) Energy Cell x5 Power Pack x2 Here is a basic rundown in not so many words. The game takes place in the Rebellion Era. Ghant is the 18 year old son of a rich noble who got too big for his boots on Taris. The other noble houses bribed the local garrison to have the family destroyed and scattered. In a single night everyone died. (Cliche? hahaha) Ghant is now in the now rebuilt underground of the old city and will try his best to regain the power his family once had. He will achieve this through less legitament means... Future planning Obviously the route my class choices takes depends partly on what my character is doing in the game. Though at the moment I can see this happening. Noble1 Noble1/Scoundrel1 Noble1/Scoundrel2 Noble1/Scoundrel3 Noble1/Scoundrel4 Noble1/Scoundrel4/Crimelord1 Noble1/Scoundrel4/Crimelord2 Noble1/Scoundrel4/Crimelord3 ETC.. I know this particular post will probably only recieve one reply since many people do not in fact play starwars. At the same time I dont really see much for someone to comment on except perhaps a critique of my writing style. Anything at all would be welcome. Thanks for your time.
Prom 05-15-07, 04:21 PM	Hi BobtheBiotitan, Why not post this on Wizards d20 Modern forum or d20 forum. You might get more responses to your creation. Prom
BobtheBiotitan 05-20-07, 01:12 PM	It amazes me how many people do not realize that this forum is shared by all of the wizards games. This particular one named "Character development" is just that. A forum where any character from any wizards game is allowed to be submitted and reviewed. It is true that Dungeons and Dragons is the most popular of submissions, but that fact alone does not mean that other games should be shunned. Perhaps I would post this character on the D20 modern forums, but *GASP* where would I post it? Surely not in the D20 past, present, or future sections as these all have nothing to do with character development. Oh wait. The d20 forum? Hmmm... Lets look. Oh! I see where I can post it at! Character development is the correct place for every single one of wizard's D20 games. Thanks for trying to help Prom, but you have unfortunately not helped me at all. Ah well. Looks like that was my one reply to my character. I usually only get one per character.
Fithero 05-20-07, 01:49 PM	It amazes me how many people do not realize that this forum is shared by all of the wizards games. Apparently, you're very easily amazed... :bored: Thanks for trying to help Prom, but you have unfortunately not helped me at all. Ah well. Looks like that was my one reply to my character. I usually only get one per character. Gee.... I wonder why... Seriously, Prom has some good advice, dont burn him for no reason.
BobtheBiotitan 05-20-07, 02:18 PM	Thanks for the Sarcasm Fithero. Sarcasm aside, I am just sick of everytime I post anything that is something besides a Dungeons and Dragons character people jump on me. They always tell me that I am wrong in posting here, when in reality there could be no better place. Perhaps Prom does have some good advice, but i've found it lacking in this particular case. A post pointing someone in all the wrong directions is not "good advice" in any way, shape, or form. Ah yes. One last thing. My attitude has nothing to do with why I only receive one reply per character. This is actually one of the first times I have posted negatively towards someone.
Fithero 05-20-07, 06:20 PM	Thanks for the Sarcasm Fithero. You're most welcome:D
Terjon of the Blue Rose 05-22-07, 02:10 AM	Alright, first I'm making a few comment you won't like then I'll try offering you a bit of assistance. Go ahead and skip down if you don't want to be bothered by another lecture on civility. The fact of the matter is Prom was trying to be of assistance. She? may not have helped but do try to take into account that her intent was to do so. As for the matter of being frustrated, yeah, I can see where you are coming from but you also need to take into account you are in a severe minority on this board. I don't mean to say this is the wrong place for your post, just that you shouldn't be expecting a whole lot when your talking about a system that clashes so harshly with what most others are talking about. I am glad to see that this practice of attacking those who are trying to help isn't a habit and hope you don't let such frustration get the better of you again. *start reading here to avoid lecture and remember I'm trying to help* As far as what you've given us goes you have run into a problem that is classic as far as Star Wars goes. Its the reason I hated those movies... yes all 6 of them. You've got an extremely well written scene. A hook that intrigues us and draws us into the story. What you don't have is any meat on that hook. Your character is non-existant in the scene except as an unconsious prop. I might watch this ovie to find out what happens to him and it really is a good intro but as of right now I know nothing about the character. He's a noble and the stormtroopers are shooting at him. Why? What kind of enemies has he made and how? How will he react? You see all these questions you've given us but no answers. What's more as I stated before the character exist only as a prop in the scene. This isn't Ghent Lanweaver I'm watching its noble #1. I don't know anything about his personality or past. I don't have any connection to the person who was just shot down so its hard to empathise with his position. Yeah you let us know after all the fluff that his family got taken out and he got dumped but there still isn't anything about him. and thats where character development comes in. So he wants to restore his family and will use less than legitimate means. Is he the type who dealt with rough sorts before this happens or is his time in the underground his first exposure. Was he the type of noble who drank and did drugs and was generally irresponisable or the type who cared for every servant and citizen? Dad got too big for his boots and taken down how did Ghent fit his own boots. He the type to defend himself? How about others? Ruthless? Weak? Manipulative? How's he handle the lack of luxuries? Was he the type to flaunt his wealth and status before? Try giving us a day in the life rather than a defining moment in it and I'll see about helping you with a BG. Star Wars as movies annoyed the :censored: out of me mostly because it used major characters as props to set up scenes. This lead to inconsistent and sometimes flat out ridiculous actions on the part of the heros. If you want consistency your gonna have to know where this guy comes from, how he got here from there, where he plans on going, and how he plans to get there. Right now you've got #2, #3, and a little bit of #4. Unfortunately #1 tends to be the biggest one. Especially if your looking for help here.