Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Scion_of_The_Eternal 03-27-08, 09:05 AM	Please help me with this if you don't mind. Recently I had made some character concepts. But I'm lacking ideas to improve it. So I come here. I hope you guys don't mind if I post two concepts at once. They have something in common. Both are dream-motivated. Okay, first one. In short, this guy is a adventuring fighter mercenary. Since his childhood, he sometimes see some sort of visions in his dream. He live to this day by following those visions. And what trigger him to do so is an event in his childhood. Here is a short bio I quick-wrote: I opened my eyes and saw the soft light of the morning pouring into my room from the window. I yawned, raise myself up, and sighed. "Another dream, huh?". I got up from bed and prepare myself for the journey. A new quest has called for me and I need to fulfill it. My name is Darkelion. This is how my life has been this lately. I was born and raised in a town populated mostly by demihumans , despite being a full blooded human myself. Sometime, during my early teen, I started seeing 'strange dreams'. The kind of dreams where you saw strange visions and there was voices telling you things. At first, I ignore it. Somehow I just didn't feel like it and I can't understand whatever the dreams tried to tell me.I confided, after a while, to my close friends and family. Some dismiss it as nothing. Just a normal dream. Besides, it only happened occasionally to me. Others, disagree. They want me to consult the local priest or something. I was reluctant. Somehow fear started growing inside of me. I don't that because the thought of what the priest may do to me or because i'm starting to aware of the meaning of the dreams? Then things happened. People dies. I don't know if that can be prevented or not. Nevertheless they died. And I know, or realized, what cause their deaths. God knows what was the name of those things. I can't barely remember what happened that night or how I do things they said I've done. Perhaps I was to afraid to remember. I remember wake up suddenly in the night. Sneaking out while everyone in the town busy with other things. Something that made them panic. Running away into the forest. Encountered and being captured by one of those fearsome creatures. And then just some vague images. The next thing I know, I was already under treatment of the healers. They said something about how the wizard ( a very kind person, I remember. Younger than the normal image of a wizard) decipher something from my dream about the creature's location and lead sort of ambush to it. where they found me. According to them, somehow I managed to destroy something important to those creatures. Because of that the townsfolk was able to repelled them. They called a hero or something like that. I don't think so about myself, despite the fact that I've done things like in the stories of those bards. I just did thing that somehow I was meant to do. And what I do.... didn't fix things. Several weeks after, I ran away. Living a wandering life ever since. Training and then working as a mercenary to fund my food. Whenever some kind of visions appear in my dream, I go to follow it. Just like this time. "Granite Falls. Quite far from here. It will take some time." I walked out from the inn. In front of my eyes is a road, that, eventually, will led me to my final destination. Second, A duskblade found as an orphan and adopted by a pair of adventurer. Here is his story so far: Ramiel Salbazier knows nothing of his true origin. He was found in the ruins of a town that was raided by some band of monstrous humanoids by a pair of adventurer, confused and can't recall anything about himself. The adventurer-who was a newly wed couple-adopted him and raised him as their son. Ramiel accept this fact and content to live with it. Even so, sometimes he can't help to not feel curious about his origin. Ramiel's (adoptive) family was Lorwyn Moonglow (mother, Elf Wizard 11), Neias Salbazier (father, Human Swordsage 11), and Astria Salbazier (younger sister, Half-Elf Commoner 1). Lorwyn and Neias both were adventurers of renown. After journeying through the world and win an amount of gold and glory, they decided that it is the time to retire and settle down. In their travel to find a good place to begin a new life together, they went on a short detour to visit an old friend, only to find a ruined town with a single surviving soul, a boy with amnesia. They took care of the boy and try investigate the has happened to the town. But, didn't matter how much their effort was, they can't find out who or what was that has attacked the town, except for some rumors of a band of mysterious black-skinned, black-armored humanoids. Since there was no result, they abandoned the investigation and back to their original purpose, finding a place to settle. Along with the boy who soon would be named Ramiel. Ramiel was raised by his new family in countryside. His parents use their skill to aid people around them and were generally well liked. They lived in welfare, thanks to the fortune from Lorwyn & Neias' adventures and were considered to be upper class in their local society. A year after Ramiel's adoption, Astria was born. Lorwyn and Neias raised their children with fairness and never treat Ramiel with discrimination. The two siblings were also close to each other. Naturally, Ramiel was inspired by his parents' tales of adventures and hoped to be like them. He show talent for arts of combat and arcane magic early on and studied it under the tutoring of Lorwyn and Neias. He combined both to form his own style. Ten years after his adoption, on the same day he was found years ago -the day that he claimed to be his (re)birth day, Ramiel experienced a strange dream. He saw in the dream a series of visions of foreign lands, with many strange buildings and towers, of a colossal object flying in sky, of large battle fight by strange creatures and soldiers with armors and weapons he never seen, of a tower of enormous height standing alone with nothing visible around it except for white mist that surrounded it and thin aurora-like glowing lines far away, of a tombstone and seven people standing around it under the rain, of a monolith with a large glowing sigil on it, of a book flipping its pages -the pages were flipping to fast for him to read but he felt really familiar, like he can almost tell what stories the book has, and finally a vision of darkness. A girl with silver hair and golden clothes appeared. The vision moved closer to the girl. He couldn't see the upper half of her face but he could see her lip moving as she speak "Awake. You should go now. They are waiting". And Ramiel soon awoke. For Ramiel, that dream was a sign for him to go. Even if he didn't have any idea where he should go, he believed that staying idle is not a thing he supposed to do. He felt that he must go to seek whatever destiny he was meant fulfilled. Three days after, with his family's blessing, Ramiel Salbazier took the first step of his journey. A journey to seek one's true destiny. Well, that is it. Suggestions or anything? I especially want to elaborate the event in Dark's past. The dead people mentioned can be his parents but I don't know how describe the effect of such past to the character. About Ramiel, the dream is just a motive for him to leave home and adventuring.
Paul_V 03-27-08, 10:50 AM	The tag you're looking for is: Just put your text between them. Okay, here's my opinion: The first one has a very good concept, but I believe it's slightly undermined by the character's bland personality. He's not curious or scared, he just seems to have accepted his gift and rolled with it. Sure, that's what most fighters do, but that's when they're in a chain of command, where they learn not to question orders. I don't know, it just strikes me as odd that your character isn't even a bit curious of where this comes from or why he's receiving the dreams. The second one is better in my opinion, since the character is actually curious and motivated by what happens to him. Also, you should put some thought into what subrace of Elf he is (since that's definitely going to change his encounter with his parents. There's a huge difference between High Elves, Drows and Gray Elves, just to name three of them). You might want to do away with the dream, and replace it with some sort of epiphany, like discovering a family relic, or his foster parents/sister dying (though that might be clichéd), or reading a paragraph in a book that triggers a long-repressed memory (and then he sets off to find out more).
Scion_of_The_Eternal 03-27-08, 01:33 PM	Thank you very much for your opinion and the tag!:) Well, I spend more time with the second while the first is just a draft, that's why. Anyway I'm glad you find it to be good concepts. Yes I need to elaborate more about Dark's past. That is where the fear and curiosity mostly are. How a 12-13 years old should reacted to such visions? Scared is almost certain. That's why he keep to himself at first, wishing it just a dream, and why he reluctant to see the priest. At present, he no longer fear the visions. He still curious. It just supressed. He hope by following the visions he'll eventually come to an answer. Now, I need to put this into the bio. I'm thinking to add another episode concerning his early wandering life. Perhaps meeting with some kind of teacher figure? To explain about his acceptance of his 'talent'. I should tell more about Ramiel. I actually have more story for him. But, I forgot to mention before. First, he is a human not an elf. He is actually a reincarnation. His past self was some powerful wizard of planar level. For some reasons, he was reincarnated into what he is now (in another plane of existence). The vision in his dreams was images from his past life. I don't intended this to have any relevance to the campaign (unless the DM wish it differently) That why it was not in the bio explicitly. Just some allusions to it. Whatever happened in the past was past. It can come back again. But, now he have new, different life to live, which should not be dictated by the past. Still, he is a person with great destiny. Someone capable to change the world (just like every other PC)He should go to seek and fulfill that destiny. There are people waiting for him to do so. That's basically the message I want the dream to convey. Your idea about reading a book is interesting. I'll consider it.
Paul_V 03-27-08, 03:43 PM	For a "mentor figure", go with a Psionic Seer or a regular Diviner (hell, even a Cleric will do), and he/she will supply the kind of outlook that your character has. All these classes not only have tolerance to visions, but also (with your DM's permission) can teach your character to focus his conscience before sleeping to receive guidance (whether it's from deities, the power of his own mind, or just minor innate magic). Oh, a human! I wasn't expecting that at all. Then how can he be a Duskblade? (Yes, elf mother, but still, she was a Wizard and it's supposed to be extremely rare for non-elves to become that) I think you should make his mother a Duskblade just for the sake of credibility. Humans really don't have the time to combine the martial and arcane prowess necessary to be that in such short time (unless they're trained by other Duskblades). But this is just nitpicking. Other than that, it sounds very reasonable (as an alternative, perhaps his training came very easy for him because he was a Duskblade in his past life. Who said powerful mages must be Wizards or Sorcerers?) Edit: I had another idea. If you want to convey the sense of urgency to change the world, you can always have someone close to him tell him that they can see he's destined to greatness. And now he's adventuring because of that. A perfect example would be his Commoner sister. She's not destined for greatness, that's for sure. And yet she's the daughter of two reknowned adventurers. Maybe she feels she's disappointed the family and asks him to do what she can't. Or maybe she sets off for her own life of adventuring, and your character leaves as well, so he won't disappoint his foster parents.
elliott20 03-31-08, 10:58 AM	to be quite honest, I feel both stories give you a pretty good start as is. But I second Paul V's comment. Unless he already knows where his powers come from, I think you could invest a little in trying to have him figure out where it came from. (And if your GM is willing to work with you on this, it can become an adventure in and of itself)