Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Prom 12-22-07, 05:09 PM	Hi All, I have just recently lost my character to a trap that was layed for the party, so have had do build a new character. Do people mind giving me an opinion of the background, just incase I have holes? Himo Amastica Treadwell Male half-elf, Level 9 Warmage Description: Deity: Corellon Larethian, Age: 40, Gender: Male, Height: 6ft, Weight: 160lbs, Eyes: Dark green, Hair: Long Black, set in brads, Skin: White slightly tanned, Tattoo: Right hand, yellow circle on fire, Personality: Strategist, Loyal, Skilled, Serious. Background: Himo's Mother: Mother is an Elf: Lia Amastacia. Still living, is a wildmage/sorcerer. Lives in the Blackfern Elven community. She is 73 years old currently and meet Himo's father at the age of 31, while Cullan was escorting Druids from Witchwood to meet with the Elders of the Tiri Kitor community. She gave birth to Himo at the age of 33, stayed a few years with the Tiri Kitor before moving to Witchcross village, due to Cullan becoming uncomfortable with life in an elven community. Lia visited her people when Cullan was required to go away for long periods of time tracking for adventuring parties, etc. She would travel with Cullen on the rare job and serve as a mage for a party if they could not get a mage. Lia married Cullen at the age of 38 in the Witchcross garden's. Lia is a slightly unpredictable elf and searches for a raw source of magic. She is spontaneous, kind, unconventional, highly talented in the arcane arts and a bit of a rebel amoung her people. Himo's Father: Father is Human: Cullan Treadwell. Cullan met Lia at the age of 27, had a baby with her at 29 and married Lia at 34. He worked a long and hard day most of his life. He had many scares and injuries from breaking in horse's that were green and from fighting in the wild lands. Cullen dead from natural causes at the age of 49, and is buried at the Witchcross cemetary. He was a ranger by trade and horsemen. Born in Witchcross. He also hand a small Horse stable and breed them. He taught Himo the language of the giants, who he knew well from his journey's. Cullan was a tough but tolerant person that looked at the wider picture. A serious man who was often scornned for dis-couraging people from disturbing the Tiri Kitor lands. Himo's life: Himo has no brothers or sisters. Himo was educated in the Warmage arts at the college of "Tactical War and Fire" in the Kingdom of Cambrai at the age of 17, when he requested to have special training in arcane war. He is heavily influenced by his mother's exploration of magical art and had always wanted to weld magic. But his father's rough style of life excited him and his father told him amazing stories when he returned from a journey. The one thing Himo always remembered his father saying was that Elsir Vale was to small and under-developed to survive the wild lands that surrounded it. Larger nations would one day conquer the Vale and only skilled men of war could stop this happening. Himo always wanted to be a man of action like his father, and convinced his father at the age of 17 to let him travel out of the Vale and train in the art of war. His Father and Mother escorted him on the long dangerous journey with a large group of friends. He returned at the age of 21 to find out that his father had died a year before he had returned. Himo sadden by the loss of his father, regrets leaving the Vale to train as a warmage to this very day. Seeking employment he went looking for work in Dennovar. Himo returned to Witchcross when he could not find work in Dennovar, there simply was no need for Warmages. Himo brought with him a Halfling named Red who he had be-friend in Dennovar and lived on the horse raunch with Himo and his mother for a few years. The Halfling (Red) was hired as a stable hand at first but has been taken under Lia's wing. Red is like Himo's step brother and they are very close. After Himo’s father died this mother returned to the elves for short visits, but a few years later they all shifted to the Tiri Kitor Encampments when Lia found a buyer for the Raunch. Himo has made friends with a group of elves that have swore to protect their community. His occupation is basically like a free-lance trouble shooter for the Elf elder council, but with the occational relic expediation. Himo does not dress in expensive cloths, but is clean and neat at all times. Himo's wife: Himo took an Elf as his bride only a few years ago, but has no children. Himo's wife is called, Ila Liadon or Silverfrond. Himo met Ila Liadon while he was a child of about 8 years of age. They had played together as friends when Himo's mother brought him to visit his grandmother and grandfather in the Tiri Kitor community. It was not until Himo was 34 years of age that Ila showed any interest in him and they started courting. Himo married Ila a year later under a sacred tree, but was then required soon after to travel out of the Elsir Vale area. He was sent to search out a number of magic items with a close circle of friends, that the elf elders thought could benefit the elf nation. Himo has been away for two years in the barren lands of the north and through the Cambria Kingdom. Ila is 44 years old, with greeny-blue eyes and long wavy black hair which comes down to her waist. She is 5 feet tall and weighs 104lbs, with tanned polished skin. Ila is one of the librians of the Tiri Kitor encampment, and a voluntar elven child caregiver. She is a bookworm who spends long hours reading, anything. She is innocent in the ways of the outside world, having never left the encampment. Ila is carefree, loyal to her people and husband and one of the few elves that can make Himo laugh. Sorry, it's much to long. Prom
Terjon of the Blue Rose 12-22-07, 10:28 PM	It's pretty good so far. You seem to be a little off on the ages and lengths of time. To me it seems early 30's seems young for an elf maid to have a child, especially given their low birth rates (though not neccessarilly so for marraige to a human) and 4 years shouldn't be enough for a mage's college unless you add in earlier teachings in the ways of magic by his mother. Other than that I would only point out that, while you have a hook to lead you into adventure, there is little urgency to your character. This isn't neccessarilly a bad thing, escpecially if you want to play someone who is drawn, willing or not, into the path of his fate. If this is the case though I would try to add one or two foreshadowing moments in. Things that suggest his fated life of adventure. If not I would give him some greater desire, such as fulfilling his father's dream of a united defensive force for his homeland. The only other point I would add in was that his father's "dis-couraging people from disturbing the Tiri Kitor lands" is a little vague. This too can be intentional or not but could probably be better phrased. If it's intentionally phrased add something to tell us that, for example, his mother never really knew the detail of how he did this or how his son didn't really understand his father's politics. If not it probably just needs rephrasing. All in all though good job. Edit: His wife is definetly a nice touch but you should mention her in his own entry as well. If he cares for her as deeply as a man should than at least some part of his life should revolve around her. By giving her a seperate section but not putting her into his you make it seems he is far more important to her than she is to him (which in this case just screams unimportant NPC).
Prom 12-22-07, 11:32 PM	Hi Terjon of the Blue Rose, It's been a while, I should have guessed you would comment first, thanks. It's pretty good so far. You seem to be a little off on the ages and lengths of time. To me it seems early 30's seems young for an elf maid to have a child, especially given their low birth rates (though not neccessarilly so for marraige to a human) and 4 years shouldn't be enough for a mage's college unless you add in earlier teachings in the ways of magic by his mother. Yes, it does seem a little young for an elf maid, but my DM re-scaled the elf ages. Adult-hood for an elf is now 35 years, middle aged is 150 years, old age is 263 years and venerable is 350 years. The human age scale is the same. The half-elf is scaled in this manner: Adult-hood for a half-elf is now 18 years, middle aged is 57 years, old age is 92 years and venerable is 125 years. My DM said 3 years would be enough in a war college, what do you suggest? Other than that I would only point out that, while you have a hook to lead you into adventure, there is little urgency to your character. This isn't neccessarilly a bad thing, escpecially if you want to play someone who is drawn, willing or not, into the path of his fate. If this is the case though I would try to add one or two foreshadowing moments in. Things that suggest his fated life of adventure. If not I would give him some greater desire, such as fulfilling his father's dream of a united defensive force for his homeland. I'm hoping that drive or urgency in the character will be more clear when I have, layed out what Himo has done for the last 9 levels of warmage advancement. Himo is part of a elf charter that protects the elven nation, but I haven't really said that, as the other players are still agreeing on the party focus. The only other point I would add in was that his father's "dis-couraging people from disturbing the Tiri Kitor lands" is a little vague. This too can be intentional or not but could probably be better phrased. If it's intentionally phrased add something to tell us that, for example, his mother never really knew the detail of how he did this or how his son didn't really understand his father's politics. If not it probably just needs rephrasing. Yes, I am intentionally vague about the father's politics and what he really did, so point taken. I will adjust this. His wife is definetly a nice touch but you should mention her in his own entry as well. If he cares for her as deeply as a man should than at least some part of his life should revolve around her. By giving her a seperate section but not putting her into his you make it seems he is far more important to her than she is to him (which in this case just screams unimportant NPC). I was trying not to play another bachelor adventurer. The only thing is, I can't make her too complex or to involved in the game without creating a head ache for the DM. Yes, it does scream of unimportant NPC. I'll add more about the wife in Himo's entery, thanks. Prom
Terjon of the Blue Rose 12-23-07, 07:29 AM	Alright. You seem to have a good grasp on most of my points so I'll answer the only actual question asked. 3-4 years is fine for a war college but the problem is you've shown no previous schooling either. Think of it more like a regular college, 4 years is fine but you need a background that includes 12 years of priming schools. In you're case that could well be your mother starting you on the path, a tutor from some nearby elven settlement, or you could even be a budding sorcerer who used the school to channel your power into a far more disciplined form than you were able to acheive on his own.
Prom 12-23-07, 01:58 PM	Posted by Terjon of the Blue Rose, 3-4 years is fine for a war college but the problem is you've shown no previous schooling either. Think of it more like a regular college, 4 years is fine but you need a background that includes 12 years of priming schools. In you're case that could well be your mother starting you on the path, a tutor from some nearby elven settlement, or you could even be a budding sorcerer who used the school to channel your power into a far more disciplined form than you were able to acheive on his own. I missed that point completely, your right of course. Tutoring from his mother and elven grand parents in the Tiri Kitor encampments could fill out that hole nicely. Thank you again. Prom