Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Raith1 09-26-07, 08:50 PM	This thread is for all those stories that make us laugh at the gamming table you know the ones . The stories that every new player to the group has to listen too .lol This is one of ours: We are on an island looking for some wizards "tower of power" . :evillaugh When we arive on the island, we find instead of an ice covered land, ( the island is in artic waters) we find a lush forrest filled with lots of flowers and tons of birds. All our characters ,have never encountered any tropical birds or animals so we are going on just stories that we have heard in bars and pubs.Upon entering the woods we are being mocked at every turn. Everything we say is repeated and comes back to us multiple times. From all directions, The wizard of the group says he has heard of birds that can mock your every word and that they are called PARROTS. The annoyance of these animals mocking us is so bad, that the wizard casts a silence spell but if fails due to the magic of the island (this fact we find out latter) the mocking goes on and our Ranger (played buy an inpatient player) stepps into the woods finnally trying to make some head way. The Ranger steppes into a small clearing just ahead of the rest of the party. The DM ( who in this instance is a very good one and a very sly one) put his hand up and closes his hand, thumb to fingers, and says "you see and eye blink":plotting: The Ranger plodes on in thinking the "eye" is the size of a birds eye but in fact the "eye" is the size of the hand :heehee As it turns out the eye is that of a talking raptor, a small group of them 3 to be exact and then in the best rolling I have ever seen the DM rolls 4 natuarl 20s criting the ranger 4 times effectively tearing our ranger apart in one attack. We as a low level party all turn to run as the ranger is eaten. Back on the beach we are all trying to come to terms with what had just happened when the dwarf states "that was a f**king PARROT?!! how big are f**king pirates then?!, they carry those things on their shoulders?!" we all break out in laughter that lasts through out the night and to this day these characters try everything in there power to stay away from pirates :twitch:twitch twitch
Fithero 09-27-07, 01:26 AM	My party and I are about to face off agaisnt the blackguard and his evil party inside the blackguards estate (he was a high ranking city official.) My character has had a running fued with one of the blackguards minions, a TWF rogue/assassian. My character, being a spiked chain wielding, disarming focused fighter, walks up amid the taunts that are flying from both sides and said- "See that sword?" *points to assassian's right hip* "I want it!" The assassian simply shrugged his shoulders and when combat started he disappeared. After combat had finished, were were walking round looting the bodies and my character gets sneak attacked in the back for 96 points of damage, followed by- "There you go!" The assassian left his sword in my back and bolted.... we're still looking for him:nonono: Owell, we got his +3 unholy longsword though :P
Tjuk 09-27-07, 10:41 AM	Well my mates and i were playing a pretty awkward party.... We had this Frenzied berzerker which had this giant minature space hamster as a pet (he got it by a wish.. guess how he named it...) a Drunken master which didn't really know what his character was able to do.... and i at the time was playing a half-elf druid, but turned into a Averial by a wish... We had this quest, we needed to safe some stupid dwarfs which got conquered by 3 villains which had legendary swords that couldn't get killed according to the myths. So we decide to go to their castle... half way there... we ran into a sort of a army of orcs that were kidnapping more dwarfs, so we decided to exterminate the pests, pretty easely we were ruling the combat, no one actually got hert untill the last orc came and hit our frenzied berzerker... so ofcourse he went into his rage,First killing all the innocent dwarfs then running after my character, but quickly decided to better fly into the air. So the drunkenmaster was pretty much screwed... so he ran away... untill he ran into a hill giant which he tried to climb onto to get away from our frenzied berzerker..... he chopped the hill giant down in one blow... and finally settled down calming his rage.... so we actually survived that, getting to the castle wasn't much of a problem except for the move silent rolls... so after awhile we got busted... so our brave frenzied berzerker charged in and started cleaving, greater cleaving, supreme cleaving away..... you know how it goes... and again, untill the last stupid orc is standing he gets hit so flies into his unforgetable rage... charging after the drunkenmaster again, which happend to run into about 3 stone golems.... we thought we were all going to die, untill we saw our own frenzied berzerker chop through these things in one blow each... but yet again his rage was still not finished, so he managed to get to the dwarfs again! We thought they were yet all doomed... but the drunkenmaster decided to try and safe one of them.... so he grabbed a rope was moving from one side of the room to the other grabbing a dwarf amazingly enough he rolled natural 20's on it.... but yet again, when he had to jump down from the rope.... he let the dwarf slip from his hands not getting the strength check.... was pretty pathatic seeing the last dwarf alive crashing to the ground into a hot boiling pit of lava.... We decided that day, that being NG, LG, CG wasn't the way to go for our party :P
pigknight 09-29-07, 12:52 AM	Well my mates and i were playing a pretty awkward party.... We had this Frenzied berzerker which had this giant minature space hamster as a pet (he got it by a wish.. guess how he named it...) a Drunken master which didn't really know what his character was able to do.... and i at the time was playing a half-elf druid, but turned into a Averial by a wish... We had this quest, we needed to safe some stupid dwarfs which got conquered by 3 villains which had legendary swords that couldn't get killed according to the myths. So we decide to go to their castle... half way there... we ran into a sort of a army of orcs that were kidnapping more dwarfs, so we decided to exterminate the pests, pretty easely we were ruling the combat, no one actually got hert untill the last orc came and hit our frenzied berzerker... so ofcourse he went into his rage,First killing all the innocent dwarfs then running after my character, but quickly decided to better fly into the air. So the drunkenmaster was pretty much screwed... so he ran away... untill he ran into a hill giant which he tried to climb onto to get away from our frenzied berzerker..... he chopped the hill giant down in one blow... and finally settled down calming his rage.... so we actually survived that, getting to the castle wasn't much of a problem except for the move silent rolls... so after awhile we got busted... so our brave frenzied berzerker charged in and started cleaving, greater cleaving, supreme cleaving away..... you know how it goes... and again, untill the last stupid orc is standing he gets hit so flies into his unforgetable rage... charging after the drunkenmaster again, which happend to run into about 3 stone golems.... we thought we were all going to die, untill we saw our own frenzied berzerker chop through these things in one blow each... but yet again his rage was still not finished, so he managed to get to the dwarfs again! We thought they were yet all doomed... but the drunkenmaster decided to try and safe one of them.... so he grabbed a rope was moving from one side of the room to the other grabbing a dwarf amazingly enough he rolled natural 20's on it.... but yet again, when he had to jump down from the rope.... he let the dwarf slip from his hands not getting the strength check.... was pretty pathatic seeing the last dwarf alive crashing to the ground into a hot boiling pit of lava.... We decided that day, that being NG, LG, CG wasn't the way to go for our party :P LOL!!!!!:rofl: :rofl: Anyway, well this group I had just came back from a temple raid and go to a bar. One of them tries to throw a mug of beer to another but the thrower rolls a natural 1 and sends it into a guy killing him instantly and starting a bar fight. Half way through the fight one of the PCs go behind the bar, grab a barrel of dwarven vodka (basicly 99% alchohol) and throws it into the fireplace, blowing up half the bar, killing all the npcs and setting the thrower to -9 and another pc to -8.
Moonslayer 10-03-07, 05:19 PM	This was many, many years ago in a one-off game. There were 4 of us in the party, 2 Fighters, 1 Paladin, and 1 Thief (yeah I know, weird bunch, but that's how we roll), with myself playing the Thief. We were wandering around the woods when we found an abandoned village. Our DM at the time had a real love of making these kinds of setting really creepy and trying to 'gaslight' our characters into getting freaked out by every little sound and movement. He focused big time on my character, hearing things, seeing things, the works. When the Thief found skeletal remains in the woods that moved for no reason, I decided it was time to give him what he had been working so hard for. The thief went totally off the deep end, grabbing one of the leg bones from the skeleton and returning to the village. He was met at the edge of town by his brother, the Paladin (how kind of him to be concerned about his ne'er do well little brother). I attacked as soon as he got close and rolled a 20. This was 2nd Ed rules and we used the critical hit tables from Best of Dragon II. I rolled and got '00' "Skull crushed, instant death". This sent my character into peals of laughter and ignited a desire to send the rest of his friends to "A Better Place". He snuck off and found one of the fighters next. He struck from behind and rolled another 20/00. More laughter from the poor mad Thief and the weapon of choice was now dubbed "The Holy Thigh Bone". This was observed by the remaining fighter, who drew his weapon and charged in to stop the nutcase. My first attack was again a 20, this time only for triple damage. Through the course of the fight I critted again for another triple damage result and ended up killing the last fighter as well. At this point the DM stepped in and ruled that i proceeded to turn the "Holy Thigh Bone" upon myself, beating my self unconcious and left to the wolves (I think he was a little upset that his game was completely hijacked).
Terjon of the Blue Rose 10-04-07, 02:02 AM	I think I've posted it elsewhere but... I convinced an ogre that he needed to take me back to his base to get instructions because instead of three "heros" he had only found one. My two companions stepped out off the woods they had been hiding in to travel with us after I let the ogre know I wasn't alone and needed them to come with. The ogre: THREE!! Me: "No, no, no, Four. see." *Pointing to myself* "One." *pointing to companion #1* "Two" *pointing to second companion* "Three" *pointing to ogre* "Four". "See, there are 4 of us." One easy bluff check later I was being led to the villian's base camp.
CrimsonDeath 10-04-07, 04:00 AM	Nice, Terjon. Reminds me of an adventure I was on once. Most of the party was guarding the entrance to an ancient crypt while one character, a half-ogre (Intelligence 6) hiked back to our astral skiff to grab something. We were in enemy territory, held by an army composed largely of savage humanoids, with ogres frequently serving as officers. Our half-ogre friend ran across a Goblin patrol. They mistook him for an officer in their army, and he ordered them to go look for us in the completely wrong direction.
cog_n_taz 10-04-07, 10:12 AM	Allow me. (http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=891691)
The_Shaman 10-05-07, 06:39 PM	Once during my short - so far - PnP player sting, our party travelled through some swamps in order to get some herbs for ghoul fever cure. We were all 2nd levels, by the way. Just as we were nearing a cave, through the mist came a gush of acid, followed by a menacing roar. Our fighter, who was never much for metagaming - or, for that matter, patience - charged right in before I could say "can I get a knowledge (arcana) check here?" Turns out it was a juvenile Black dragon. We promptly high-tailed it out of there, with the fighter surviving by sheer dumb luck by hiding into some reeds or some such. After the party reassembled, we decided to push our luck and check out the cave anyway. There was neither a dragon nor a hoard this time. It turned out that the DM wanted to use an overwhelming encounter to make us go in that cave. Of course, we had assumed it was its lair, so going in was the last thing on our minds.