Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Veteran_Noob 12-27-06, 10:22 PM	Let me apologize in advance. Sorry for the upcoming gigantic, huge wall of text, but I was just trying to see if I somehow missed anything. I think I screwed up my background by using vengence for my characters reason for continuing on, since it was actually his idea from the start. You cant swear to pay someone back for thwarting your own plans can you? I'm just looking for some possible help/feedback in the future progression department. Our DM likes to have somewhat complete and detailed backgrounds, thats why I wrote so much. Am I destined to fail? I also am pretty sure many of my details and rules that demons follow are a bit off. So basically Im just curious if vowing vengence againts someone who only thwarted your plans to assassinate him makes sense? Anyway.. here is my story I threw together in case someone was inclined to read it in its entirety. Just a warning it is long and some may find it tedious/boring. (im not the best writer, just an fyi). My character is (now) a somewhat sterotypical Gnoll Ranger. Level 19. KERRTOR THE VICIOUS Originally born in the fires of the Abyss, Kerrtor was an evil fiend of mixed heritage. His mother was a particularly notorious human Cleric by the name of Kerriane the Black, and his father was a horrible demon known only as Bael, Despoiler of Flesh, who was summoned by Kerriane as part of a vile and twisted ceremony of which the details are unknown. His mother was too preoccupied with her own dealings to raise him, and Bael, his father, had disappeared almost as soon as he arrived. Kerrtor was forced to make his own way in life. His formative years were spent just learning to survive. The plane which he lived was the 422nd, Yeenoghu’s Realm. Known to others as the Seeping Woods. Populated mainly by evil Gnolls and flesh eating ghouls, life was unbearable at best. Through all of this, Kerrtor matured quickly. His aggressiveness soon allowed him to establish a small amount of dominance over the surrounding area. His almost animal like behavior could not be matched. Lacking any visible signs of moral aptitude or mercy, Kerrtor proved again and again that he would do whatever it took to emerge victorious. Often times drinking the blood of his defeated enemies from sheer bloodlust. After several years had gone by, Kerrtor had soon made a name for himself. No longer having to prove his skill or standing to others. He was now known by everyone as Kerrtor the Vicious., Feared by all, Kerrtor soon had amassed a small following, and whether it is through fear or respect they still followed him unquestioningly. Kerrtor’s actions had not gone unnoticed. The Demon Prince Yeenoghu himself had taken notice and decided to recruit him in order to assist him in his eternal war against another Demon Prince known as Baphomet, Prince of the Minotaurs. He was promised great power and wealth, and in return was asked only for his allegiance. He saw something in Yeenoghu that he could not explain. A sort of kinship perhaps, still, he had always despised Gnolls, dirty bestial animals he thought. Regardless of the feelings he felt, Kerrtor quickly agreed to his offer. Growing tired and complacent where he was, He felt that this would be a better opportunity to prove to himself, and others, that he had no equal on the battlefield. Very soon, what started out first as small trials and tests, soon escalated to full job duties and important tasks. Things Kerrtor seemed to not only enjoy, but greatly excelled in. Months went by and Kerrtor soon rose through the ranks. Yeenoghu was always very impressed with his performance and abilities. Over time, Yeenoghu grew to trust Kerrtor. So much so that he made him one of his own personal lieutenants. A very rare thing indeed for a half breed. With that promotion, came a small cadre of troops, his own wing in Yeenoghu’s personal Citadel, and more importantly, a small portion of Yeenoghu’s personal, near deific, power. Kerrtor was now even more powerful. Stronger then before, he was now near immortal. This power that was bestowed upon him by Yeenoghu, may have not only been Kerrtor’s greatest gift, but also his greatest curse. Over the course of several decades, Kerrtor became very arrogant. He felt that the tasks he had been given by Yeenoghu were below him. Deep inside he was covetous of Yeenoghu’s vast power and wealth. This arrogance soon turned to contempt, and then eventually a deep seeded hatred. What may have been an innate kinship at first had now severely deteriorated. No longer able to work side by side to so much and in his mind have so little, Kerrtor began to plan. Away from the prying eyes of the Citadel, he began to meet with several of the more nefarious fiends of the area, ones that he knew already held a grudge against his Demon Price leader, as well as one of Yeenoghu’s very own personal war staff, and formulate a plan to overthrow him and wrest control of the 422nd plane and take over his entire domain as his own. Kerrtor’s plan was simple. His plan was to wait until Yeenoghu had a meeting with his battle planners. These meetings were frequent, informal, and oftentimes occurred with little or no other bodyguards needed as they usually met in one of Yeenoghu’s own private chambers. Kerrtor was always at his side during these meetings so his presence would not be seen as out of place. Once everyone had arrived for the meeting, the main doors were shut. Then as soon as the meeting began to take place and Yeenoghu’s attention was elsewhere, he would then motion to the battle planner he had made a deal with, and it would be at that time they would assassinate Yeenoghu. As scheduled, the meeting was set and the normal attendees were all summoned to one of Yeenoghu’s meeting chambers. As usual, Kerrtor was also called in. And just as he had planned, once everyone was seated, the chamber doors were closed shut. however, this time, the doors were locked right after. In and of itself, that was not completely unusual, although he had also noticed 3 additional guards in the room. Now this was very strange and caused him great unease. Just then Yeenoghu spoke. “I trusted you”, he growled, still staring down at the table before him. “I treated you better that I treated my own kin.” Yeenoghu sat up. His massive triple flail hanging at his side. “Together we could have destroyed Baphomet, and you could have ruled his realm at my side…but this, this deception I did not expect. I have fought many battles in my life, and from this, I have come to allow certain “transgressions” within my circle. For I am not completely without intelligence, I am aware of the depravity that surrounds us here on the 422nd. But for you, one of my most trusted lieutenants, this I will not stand for.” Kerrtor looked around the room and noticed his accomplice had already been slain and lay on the ground in a pool of blood. He expected his own death to follow any moment. With one final glance from his former master, his eye glowing with a dark mystical energy. Yeenoghu snarled.. “Were it not for your father, I would be feasting on your entrails as we speak, However, You will not be so lucky if again we meet.” Kerrtor then felt a strange surge within him, pulling him up off the floor. This was followed by a searing pain throughout his body as pulsating fingers of light circled around him. His struggle to remain conscious ended when everything went black. Kerrtor was eventually awoken several days later by a strange damp feeling across his head. As his eyes slowly opened he noticed mangy reddish brown animal licking his face. It was a large hyena. It stared at him, spittle dripping from its jaw. Though he does not remember ever seeing anything like it on the 422nd, he instinctively knew what it was, and felt no fear or need to fight. This was a strange feeling indeed. It was obvious to him that he was no longer in the Abyss at all. This place was vastly different. He surmised that he was quite far removed from any of the abyssal planes altogether. Here there was no feeling of overwhelming dread. There were giant foreboding trees as far as his eye could see, large thorn ridden bushes, mysterious foliage and soft dirt and grass beneath his feet. And even though hardly no light broke through the high canopy of the surrounding trees, he had no difficulty noticing the detail of the area around him. Kerrtor had always though of himself as a mighty warrior but he had never had the ability to see this well in the dark. Looking down at his own hands he had realized that something else was vastly different. His hands seemed far more feral now. He was now covered in a reddish brown fur and seemed to be close to 7 ½ feet tall. Much taller that he was previously. Although this was a surprisingly strange sight, he recognized it for what he was. It had been a look he knew all too well. Kerrtor was now a Gnoll. From what he surmised, was that he was cast down by Yeenoghu, and as further punishment for his misdeeds, was now in the form of a common bestial Gnoll. Remade into that which he had planned to kill, that which he had once thought of as dirty and bestial. He was unsure as to what Yeenoghu meant in reference to his father and why he wasn’t just destroyed. The fact that he had retained his memory was also quite confusing. Why he wouldn’t want to prevent him from vowing revenge. Many questions Kerrtor had, and answers no longer came to him as quickly. As a result of that, these trivialities mattered little. Though his mind retained all memories of his past life, it was obvious he did not take this curse as a chance to mend his ways and start his life anew, as it was then that he made a solemn vow to himself and his new found hyena companion. I Kerrtor, son of Kerriane the Black and Bael, Despoiler of Flesh, swear to all that is unholy, vow to one day regain what was taken from me and finally destroy Yeenoghu and his many minions. His Citadel will run red with the blood of my enemies. My control over his domain will be absolute and I will let nobody stand in my way. With that said, he walked off into the woods, his companion not far behind. Several years later, Kerrtor had remained in the woods. Never feeling the need to travel elsewhere. He had found that there was much to do in these woods. Later found out to be the notorious Wilderlands. A harsh and dangerous environment. Kerrtor continued to hone his skills, having to retrain himself in this new form. Within the Wilderlands he learned many new skills. Skills that took advantage of his new surrounding. Both he and his faithful companion gained in strength and power. He was soon known amongst the few individuals that called the Wilderlands home, as Kerrtor the Vicious. A moniker that Kerrtor himself accepts wholeheartedly. One particular evening, after decimating a humanoid settlement near a rarely traveled part of the woods, Kerrtor noticed something strange. The woods fell deathly quiet. Off in the distance the very trees themselves seem to part. What was seconds before a wall of thorny shrubbery and tall trees was now an obvious path. He sensed no treachery or ill will, so with the blood of his most recent kill, still seeping from his maw, he began to follow the path. The path traveled for several yards and finally led up a hill to a small clearing. He saw a soft glow coming from over the hill. Approaching cautiously, he slowly reached the summit. What lie before him was a peculiar sight indeed. On the ground in front of him was a round, shallow indentation. In the center, there lay two matching swords. Blades as dark as obsidian. As Kerrtor reached down and grasped each one, a ghostly figure appeared before him. He instantly recognized the apparition as his deceased mother, Kerriane the Black. “Take these weapons as a gift from me, for they will aid you on your journey.” “Known as the Obsidian Blades of Woe,” Whispered the ghost. “Forged deep within the pits of the Abyss, these blades will sap the very life from all who oppose them.“ “However, I fear your path is rife with death, and I wish there was more that I could do for you, but alas, there is not. Take heed, and know this, The foul Prince may have altered your outer form, but it can never disguise your true self, for I will always be watching over you. May all of Yeenoghu’s clan, feel your wrath.” With those final words, the Ghostly apparition form of his mother, faded into nothingness. With the Obsidian Blades in hand. Kerrtor, and his Hyena companion, Yellow fang, trekked off into the woods looking for something to eat. Over the last several months, Kerrtor’s has experienced all that he could in the Wilderlands. His training he felt had been for the most part completed. It was time to move on. He had bounced around from town to town, rarely allowed within city limits as his penchant for cannibalism seemed to be generally denounced by the populace. Throughout his travels, he had continually heard of a being of who had recently come into great power. Power that many feared. Kerrtor wanted to meet with this “Dark Lord”. He felt that with his assistance, He would be able to further his goal of revenge against the Demon Prince, Yeenoghu. In return, he would assist the Dark Lord in expanding his empire and any other additional tasks which he needed assistance.. With that in mind, Kerrtor began his long trek southward towards the Kingdom of Ire, in the Top of the World, where the Dark Lord was said to reside. The trip was long, and not without danger, however He and Yellow Fang knew much of the surrounding environments, as well as a small amount of innate divine power, so if he was unable to defeat a particular enemy in battle, he was easily able to elude them by concealing himself in the surrounding wilderness and continuing forward. Days later he had reached his quarry. Ire was visible on the horizon. Throughout the more populated areas he often hears the Dark Lords name mentioned in hushed whispers. Kerrtor could smell the fear in their breath as they spoke. He enjoyed it, and looked forward to meeting with him. Upon meeting the Dark Lord, he noticed two robed figures on either side of him, starring intently at Him. Kerrtor then explained himself and what his eventual goals were. He made no apology for what he has done nor the way he had done it. The love of battle ran deep within him and for that Kerrtor was not ashamed. The Dark Lord glanced at one of the robed figures beside him who in turn looked at him, who whispered something to him and then proceeded to leave the room. The Dark Lord then looked back to Kerrtor and nodded in acceptance. He then told Kerrtor of what was expected of him. He too nodded acceptingly. With that motion, the remaining robed figure besides the Dark Lord muttered something under his breath, motioned with his hand, and then he too proceeded to leave the room. Kerrtor thought this strange, but assumed it was a protection spell of some sort for the Dark Lord in case any problems should have arose. Kerrtor was dismissed soon after. Since then, Kerrtor has again been moving up through Dark Lords ranks, and is now currently staffed as one of two Captains of his guard. Kerrtor bides his time, following the Dark Lord, learning as much as he can from both him, and those around him, in hopes of gleaning some insight as to what his next step should be. The scars of his earlier days, still far from healed. He will not make the same mistake again. Kerrtor one day, hopes to finally pay Yeenoghu back, and replace him as ruler of the 422nd.
Veteran_Noob 12-29-06, 10:57 PM	no opionions on the matter? Is it because there is too much to read?
BobtheBiotitan 12-30-06, 11:53 AM	I know exactly how you feel. I've reposted the same character three times with a background much shorter than yours and not had a single reply in three months! Three months! So do not despair. I'm reading through it right now.
BobtheBiotitan 12-30-06, 12:43 PM	Woah. Very complex background there. Your DM definately has alot to work with there. As for the whole vengeance thing. I think it fits prefectly! Your character is already really evil, nasty, and i'm sure a bit insane. Swearing a vow of vengeance is appropriate for his "character". At the time his life goal was to kill Yeenoghu. Yeenoghu thwarted his plans and ruined Kerrtor's chances of achieving his goal when it was in his grasp. I think that is definately a "Vengenace-able" act. The task you have set up for your character is a great one, but not impossible. I think he might be able to succeed once he is somewhere in the epic levels. I cant really see him working with a party at all, unless the whole party is in the service of "The Dark lord". Even then it will be hard for everyone to stay in line and not kill each other. As a last note: Your writing skills aren't that bad. They get the message across just fine. I'm sure you could turn that whole story into a trilogy of books if you really wanted to, but I digress. They are just fine and kind of refreshing.
Veteran_Noob 12-30-06, 06:17 PM	Thanks for the reply. I was just questioning how my character vow vengence on someone who only thwarted his plans. Vengenace is usually payback. I thought I had screwed it up. The background was more of a thing to pull story ideas from for the DM, I never really fully intended to kill yeenoghhu, just thought it was somewhat of a cool beginning. As far as the rest of the party, we are all under the command of the Dark Lord. Thanks again for the words.
BobtheBiotitan 12-30-06, 09:41 PM	No problem. I didn't mention it in my last post, but your character is just evil enough for it to work. Evil characters dont quite have the same grasp on reality that the rest of us do. His want for vengeance is totally justified in his eyes and his background seems perfectly compatable with it. So yeah you can definately use it as a driving force in his life, but you have to ask. What will he do after he finally achieves his goal? Will he seriously try to rule one of the abyssal plane levels as a mere gnoll? If not then how will he get back his true form? There are alot of questions unanswered which is good for what you wanted this story to do. Your DM will definately have alot to work with.