Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Eldrad 02-03-04, 04:31 PM	working on a build, but heres the back story. Quamae was born the 7th son of a 7th son, as prophesy fortold, and was profiesied to become a great warrior, unstoppable in battle. But this gift was not all benefit, for u see in the same prophesy it was said he would save his entire tribe and bring doom upon it... Through out his early life the tribal elders and the women all tride to instill in him a sense of pride, and motivate him, but it was all for not. The boy would much rather spend his time diving for pearls and spearfishing with the men than learn the lore of the tribe, and when they could get him out of the water, all he did was drink rum and practice with his trident. By age five, Quamae was nearly the size of the next generation of warriors, standing nearly 6 feet tall and weighing almost two hundred pounds. What was more He could run, fight and swim with the best of them. But he refused to sit and learn from the elders. At age 15, just before his coming of age and the dawn of manhood, Quamae went missing, along with several other of the tribes braves. Alarmingly, 4 maidens had vanished along with the 8 boys. THey were gone for nearly a month. When they returned, Quamae was carring the bodies of two of his companians, and the three girls with where covered with scars and burns, many fresh. The tribe rushed out to the injured youths. But alarmingly, as the tribe surrounded the youths, some noticed tha Quamae did not even bear a scratch, despite the brutal injuries of the other youths, and his eyes glowed with a red light. Quamae dropped the bodies, and as he did so the tribe scattered, stepping back in fear. "I have payed the price of blood for these, and return them to you now, but i must withdraw once more to claim that which is mine." As Quamae turned to depart, one of the warriors called out, "Return soon for your coming of age is tommorow!" The next moring, the braves had all turned out, and those who accompaned Quamae where their, wounds wrapped and standing with more pride than any other youths on the field, none of the children had recounted the events that had taken place, claiming that that was Quamae's right alone. then tehy heard a call, and it was the voice of the missing girl, the warchief's daughter, Lunno. THe tribe turned to look and she walked along holding Quamaes hand, and she was with child... THe Chief asked what had happened with her for his greatest warrior's daughter had been promised to his own son. Then Quamae spoke, "Love has found us, though not the love promised, the love truly meant to be. These may days I have learned of much, of my fate and my destiny, i have learned of great evils that wish to keep these things from coming to pass, and i have learned the power of love. Demons came to steal these girls, knowing that they would be pursued by me. So i gathered my friends around me and we set off to retrieve them. I have done so, but at great price. I lost my life. And I was restored by the Being of Light, with out scar or blemish, though he said that my companmions were not deserving of this honor, and rather that they would rest peacfully. Lunno is bearing my child, and i have wronged my Cheif's son. But i am not sorry." With a howl of Rage the Chiefs son charged out toward Quamae, and drove him back to edge of the water with violent thrusts of his spear. Suddenly quame had a trident, with its points replaced with razor edges and began to dance forward, diving throught the surf and slicing at the the older warrior. they apeared equal matched, and the fight dragged on for several minutes. THen Quamae made a mistake. He over extended him self and with a triumphant cry his rival drove his spear point into quamae's thigh, knocking him back. But the thrust left him open and even as quamae fell, he whipped his trident in to the gap in his enemy's defenses slitting his throat in a shower of blood. Chaos insued. THe other warriors in the tribe attacked quamae, suppduing him. He was sentenced to death. On the day of his exicution, his friend armed themselves and as he was herded towardthe sea, weighted down to drown, his friend came to his aid. They attacked the warriors in the procession, the entire tribe disovled in violence. after several hours of fighting and huntingquamae was gathered up by the last two surving men in his tribe, the Chief and an elder. and was once more pulled to the water. Suddenly, the chief cried out and fell, a pair of arrows sticking throu his back. standing behind him was his daughter holding a bow, the elder turned and through his spear, impaling her through the abdomen, through her child. Quamae, lost in an animalistic rage, broke free of the ropes and choked the elder to death. He rose, the last remainng man of the Longsight tribe, walked to the body of his woman, and retrieved the spear from her limp corpse, and walked into the ocean. He began to swim, he swam for days, fishing with his spear to feed him self, drinking from the ocean, the salt water pushing him deeper and deeper into madness. When a ship found him, we was floating on his back, face out of the water, asleep. His ebon skin was wrinkled, and bruned to an immpossbly dark shade by the sun and so dehydrated that his tongue was split and cracked. It took three months for him to recover from his ordeal, and he is about to set out on his own, exploring the mainland, the stange place that he was taken by his rescuers. So what yall think?
VirgilCaine 02-05-04, 08:17 PM	You need to spellcheck things. At least you spaced out your paragraphs. Simplify it. A DM might not be interested in reading your little novella. Being the greatest warrior of a far-off, exotic tribe is one thing, but what you describe is probably over the top as far as background goes.