Post/Author/DateTime	Post
cog_n_taz 09-17-07, 01:49 AM	Slowly, with a sigh, Arthur Teranov, captain of the guard, sat down on his chair, his journal on the desk before him. Dipping his quill in the inkpot, he began to write... October 24 It seems I have another hard case on my plate - just what I need. Several bodies have been found on the streets at night these past few days, torn and bloodied, as if they were ripped apart by some beast's claws. Each one seems to have been killed by exactly the same method - not anything an animal might do. I can tell that this is going to be a tough one, I just hope it's sorted out soon... October 26 I should never have sent them out to patrol on a night like this! Three of my best me, lying by the watch house's doorstep, as neat as you please, as dead as dead can be, their backs torn apart by the same method. This isn't anything I can send normal men out to do, I'm going to have to think on this one for a while.. November 2 I'll never forgive myself for this day... I finally saw the man we were after - The Ripper, they call him - but at what cost? I swear that street was empty when we went into it - no one came in, no one went out. And yet, in a moment, there he was, a gruesome insect-man, a dagger in each of his four, twisted claws, the moonlight shining on his black shell. he looked at me with those yellow eyes, clicking his mandibles together, and jumped at my men, cutting through them like they were nothing more than paper. When he turned around and stared at me with those crazed yellow eyes... I ran. What else was there to do? And yet, I can't help but feel that I could have done something... November 16 I've sent the bugbears out on a search - they should be enough to stop the madman, even if they aren't good for much else... November 20 After four days, they've yet to return... whether they deserted or were killed is not my concern. Either way, this doesn't bode well. November 28 I found the bugbears... or what's left of them. Their bodies were left outside the city, the snow covering their bloodied skeletons. The man carved his own name into their skulls - Kathris Terall. I can't help but feel that he'll destroy all of the watch at this rate... December 2 I have him at last! Young willhelm spied him in the distance, and we surrounded the area, there was no way he could escape - even the rooftops were guarded. he took down five of my men, but we finally have him in prison. Tommorow is his execution, but before that, I intend to make him pay for what he's done.... The captain sets his quill down and closes the journal. As it snaps shut, he hears an eerily familiar scraping sound, the sound of insectile claws scrabbling on a stone floor. Too late, he hears a hissing voice behind him. "Good evening, Captain." They say that your life flashes by in front of your eyes in the moments before you die. For captain Arthur Teranov, there wasn't even time for that. Crunch: The Ripper is a CE character for a campaign I play in, and yes, he's a team player if he's forced to be/sees some use in the party, so don't worry about that. he is a cold, calculated, methodical and perfectly calm killer, and a Swordsage, with heavy emphasis on Shadow hand/Tiger Claw. his weapon of choice is multi-weapon fighting with spiked chains, seeing as he's a Thri-Kreen. If you can track down/survive him, he's the best assassin in the city, not just because he's so skilled, but because being able to kill someone/something is pay enough for him, and as such, there need not be any money involved. So...messed up enough? What say you, CD boards?
Crash169 09-17-07, 02:13 AM	You've managed to create a cold blooded killer, an assassin. Congrats. Reading the journal entries was entertaining, but the whole way through it seemed like both characters were just NPC's. The captain seemed like he would have made the better character. You make him out to be very mortal, vulnerable, and real. You gave him motive and goals. The Thri-kreen on the other hand is just a cold blooded killer without feelings. You immortalize him by letting him escape the prison. He's just a calm, skilled, unstoppable killer. He doesn't even have reason for the killing, no motive at all. He's just an untouchable killer, plain and simple. It seems obvious that when you made this "cool" character your concept was based more on game mechanics than actual character development.
Fithero 09-17-07, 03:42 AM	I agree with Crash169 somewhat, what is the characters motivations, why is killing such an easy thing for him? We know he is able to keep a level head and kill without blinking, but what lead him to this state and what does he want at this point in time. Further more, where do you intend on taking him, how will the character grow? Sounds like it'd be a freaky opponent to come up against though, what level is he?
cog_n_taz 09-17-07, 07:00 AM	Guilty as charged. I wanted to make a ToB character, and this was the first idea that popped into my head. Incidentally, I plan to use him as an NPC as well. Still, there's no call for that much acid. As for what led him to do that, well... put simply, he's mad. Completely so. I know, it's a cop-out, but there's a reason. he was captured some time by a wizard specializing in crafting golems. In the name of experimentation, the wizard (or sorcerer, doesn't matter much) chopped his claws off, grafting on claws from a stained glass golem instead (half-golem template). Unfortunately, the process drove the previously neutral and sane Thri-kreen into utter madness. he killed the wizard, escaped, and is now out for revenge on the world, which he believes to have turned him over to the wizard. No reason for him to think that, he's just completely mad. I know, I completely forgot to mention it, but I was in a hurry. Also, I know it's a stretch, but it's the best I could manage. As for how he would grow in a party... well, one idea is that he would grow to trust and even respect the party if they prove themselves to him (by voluntarily helping him/risking themselves for him). While his madness is likely incurable (without very high level magic, anyway), he might atleast be turned around to neutrality, or even good, if his trust in the world is restored and he "forgives" the world. Finally, his level... well, any level of 5 and up or so would work, I'd say. he's 6th level at the moment, and a 9th level swordsage/rogue gestalt as an NPC. The latter has the grafts, while the former is explained away by illithid experimentation instead (nearly) got Voidminded).
Fithero 09-17-07, 07:24 AM	damn... that sounds cool... does he still have his insides under the stained class claws? Cos that would be pretty cool :P As a physical character growth, you could have him constantly need to get his armor carapace replaced by the stained glass plates! Do these stained glass plates show anything? Artwork for example? Im thinking along the lines of the stained glass windows we see in fantasy churchs and such, although his would be alot more detailed. This guy is getting cooler by the minute! :D I do think he should be able to cure his madness though, or atleast apply one from the back of UA and have him try and get over it or some such thing. Peace
cog_n_taz 09-17-07, 07:59 AM	UA? hmm... is this madness stuff in the SRD? In any case, I said it would be curable, through a combo of magic and psychology. As for the claws under the SG ones... not so much. Cut off, remember? Also, adding stained glass sounds cool - might convince my DM to make a sort of stained glass/martial adept version of the Green Star Adept. As for artwork... not as such, it would mess with his stealth. If he did have any though, what would it be? Any ideas? On another, crunchier note, he uses a smattering of Diamond Mind manuvers too - when you're mad, it's easier to concentrate, and everything is a lot clearer, albeit twisted. Oh, and I sent this to be reviewed by my aunt in the UK, seeing as she plays D&D too. Not a whole lot of constructive criticism, her one comment being " 'good evening, captain.', pwned!" (yeah, she also plays an unhealthy amount of WoW).
cog_n_taz 09-17-07, 08:22 AM	Also, Fithero, that was your 1000th post on this forum, congrats!:D
Fithero 09-17-07, 08:52 AM	Was it? :confused: Meh... im not tryin to rack up a tally or anything, 'quality over quantity' as I always say:ayyyy!: Im glad it was in one of your threads though cog_n_taz :D Peace
cog_n_taz 09-17-07, 10:09 AM	Im glad it was in one of your threads though cog_n_taz :D Believe me, so am I. Yes, you may sig that:).
Crash169 09-17-07, 04:18 PM	Just a little bit of criticism for ya, I hope I didn't pass any boundaries or anything. I really didn't intend to insult you, I was just wondering where the actual bones of your character were. You had several paragraphs of writing up there that basically told me he killed people for pleasure. Then in the crunch, all I got was, he is a cold, calculated, methodical and perfectly calm killer, and a Swordsage, with heavy emphasis on Shadow hand/Tiger Claw. his weapon of choice is multi-weapon fighting with spiked chains, seeing as he's a Thri-Kreen. Now that I have seen some of your background, I am beginning to understand the method to his madness. It's quite the unique story! I could see how he would be beneficial in party, everybody would love to have a ruthless killer in there hands every now and then. As for character development, that could easily be solved in character as well, through player to player conversation.
cog_n_taz 09-17-07, 06:26 PM	Nah, I'm not easily insulted, but I have been putting my backgrounds up on the GitP boards, so I'm a tad paranoid after repeated acid baths (fithero, remember that warforged warlock of mine? The backstory ended up being described as "I am EMOBOT. You will listen to my poetry.").
Fithero 09-17-07, 10:06 PM	"I am EMOBOT. You will listen to my poetry.". Hehehe:rofl: EMOBOT... wicked :P Yeah, nobody likes their stuff being ripped apart. Im doing a creative writing degree at university, and when the tutors rip into my work I have to stop myself from going Hulk on them. As long as its creative criticism though, its all good. Speaking of which, i think some dude ticked off Terjon in another thread, and he's offered to rip into the guys work. Im gonna put on some anti-radiation gear then head over there and have a look. Peace
cog_n_taz 09-17-07, 10:15 PM	hey, I love constructive criticism, and actually prefer it to any other form of feedback. Still, "I am EMOBOT." is hardly constructive.
ArgulFraster 09-18-07, 08:33 PM	Like others earlier in the thread, I'd like to see the captain come back. I even had an idea for how it happened. Arthur Teranov awoke slowly, with a grating of limbs. Limbs, he realized, that were not his own. A worried-looking wizard rifled through a tome on a nearby table. "Ohhhh...damn me, I just HAD to let my student try that graft, didn't I? I thought as it was a graft from a sacred place, it might make him a better person...what a fool I was!" With a start, the wizard looked up at the Captain. "My sorest apoligies, Officer! I am Nathrol Lahrain, accidental creator of the creature known as Kathris Terall. Or master to his creator, anyway. I want to atone for my actions! I raised you from your crypt, returned your sanity to you, and replaced why of you was too damaged by the accursed beast..." He sighed to himself and recited something under his breath, freezing Arthur in place. "You're now...well...at least partially..." He buried his head in his hands. "I had to make so many replacements! You can't possibly understand...let me show you..." The wizard muttered another syllable and a large mirror appeared in front of Arthur. The face and form that stared back were not human-anymore. The face was a stylized captain's helmet, covering a gaunt visage that showed exposed teeth and wizened skin. Below that were multiple grafts and changes, pieces from a myriad of golems. His chest was still his, encased in armor that was too thick to be of normal manufacture, but his legs and arms were another matter altogether. The legs were digitgrade, made of red crystal, carved into a representation of clawed feet and powerful musculation. The right arm was stone, with massive, carved veins standing out from the etched muscles. While his left was...glass. A shimmering rose from it, refracting and reflecting a cityscape that moved and changed even as he watched, the hand a miracle of architecture that looked almost real, save for the claws it ended in. Arthur buried his head in his hands and moaned to himself, losing himself in sorrow. He was a...a horror! Almost as bad as that which had slain him! A voice in the back of his head urged him to slay the wizard, to seek out all those that had sent him to his fate...before the arm glittered. Arthur's woes were swept away as the arm blazed white, calming him. When the light died, he stood calmed, the wizard gazing up at him. "This time the graft worked-thank the gods." He's now a...well, mostly-golem. His head's undead (dunno which) but the rest of him is golem. His legs are Psion Killer, right arm's stone, torso's flesh, and his left arm's stained glass-blessed to prevent his going insane. Now he can hunt down Kathriss on his own terms.
Fithero 09-18-07, 10:11 PM	I like the idea of making the captain into a half golem aswell, a good one too, but perhaps not that far? Perhaps make him something like Jax out of Mortal Kombat? Replace both his arms with iron golem parts. Or for something really wierd, make him part web, or even hangman golem (both in MM3). Hangman would be pretty interesting, as the ropes and twine would have to wrap around his body in all sorts of odd angles. Plus you could give him a noose somewhere, which seems somewhat fitting considering he is a captain of the guard. Just ideas anyway. Peace
ArgulFraster 09-19-07, 03:02 PM	Maybe he has a rope core inside the stained glass arm? Sounds reasonable to me. I appreciate the ideas, but after I was finished with this, I realized what he could essentially be called. GolemCop. Yes, corny I know, but it might work, yannow? I don't like the idea of web golem, myself, though. Planar golems could be fun. A Shacklelock golem bit would be nice, but seeing as Carceri is an evil-domiant plane, it wouldn't work. Gear Golem is from Mechanus, and since Mechanus is so heavily Law-aligned, it would make sense for him. The question being, of course, where? I like the idea of him being a mishmash of golem bits. He's going to have problems with it but accept the new parts as a requirement to catch and deal with Kathriss. I was considering tentacles for an arm, but rope works better. Perhaps an added, prehensile tail, ending in a noose? I'm presuming Arthur was a Warrior2 or Ftr2 as a captain. If someone can find me half-golem traits for planar, stained glass, and Psion Killer parts, I'll get to work. He's going to need a headband of intellect or something though. Don't golem bits cause Int drain?
cog_n_taz 09-20-07, 06:12 AM	Nice idea, but like you said, int drain(-6 per template, too!). My solution is, ofcourse, that We Don't Talk About That:P. All that you mentioned there as needing stats for - there are none, 'cause you homebrewed them. Personally, I recommend brass golem arms because the abilities fit, or better, yet, stained glass arms, combining a "fight fire with fire" approach, and the extra gem of making the stained glass look like his home town. As for his class, yeah, ftr 2 sounds about right, but he may well be tougher when he goes off to hunt Kathris, to avoid copious amounts of slice n dice.
ArgulFraster 09-20-07, 03:45 PM	The Planar Golems DO exist, they're mentioned in the MMIII. Only the Gloom Golem and Prismatic Golem are statted there however. If I can reverse-engineer the half-golem templates in the Monster Manual II for the standard golems, I can figure out the proper abilities for the other halfgolems. What kind of undead (or Deathless) should his head be? Here's my idea for the Blessed Stainglass Halfgolem's Bless ability. Blessed Graft(Ex): Whenever a Blessed Stained Glass Golem part is used in a half-golem, it does not inflict Int drain. Furthermore, the user does not need to fear becoming evil on a failed save. The willing spirit imbued into the stained glass calms the elemental spirits used in the other parts and leaves the graftee sane. Furthermore, whenever a good-aligned spell is cast to heal the graftee, it is maximized. My idea is that each of the parts would have its own ability-i.e. whenever he kills a Psion or PsyWar, he gets a speed boost for a few days from the legs, his rope tail can unravel to heal itself (if not him) his flesh golem chest gives him healing from electricity, etc.
cog_n_taz 09-21-07, 08:21 AM	Niiiice... that works, if it only negates the int penalty on the other grafts too. As to the type of undead... how bout death knight (with flavor and crunch changes, to an extent) or just plain old necropolitan?
ArgulFraster 09-24-07, 07:27 PM	Could work. I'm afraid I don't have Lib Mort for the Necropolitan though. Mebbe I'll have a look at the Death Knight.
cog_n_taz 09-24-07, 07:59 PM	Know you not of Crystal Keep, knave? (http://www.crystalkeep.com/d20/index.php):P
ArgulFraster 09-25-07, 03:40 PM	Ah, thanks. I hope it's got pictures. Pictures help.
cog_n_taz 09-25-07, 06:17 PM	Alas, no. hardly any fluff either, but that's fine, since we're making our own here.