lines for a comedian bard [Archive] - Wizards Community

lines for a comedian bard [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
viscen
02-05-07, 08:33 PM im looking for witty and funny(all kinds puns, satircal, sarcastic etc.) things to say in the right moments. my bard's perform skill is perform (comedy). please help me come up with a d# list of lines.
few lines:
"Been there, slain that."

"What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"

"you know why dwarf's have big noses, look at the size of their fingers."

thanks for taking the time to read and post.
AgentBlue
02-05-07, 08:46 PM "you know why dwarf's have big noses, look at the size of their fingers."

You could have a slightly alternate version of that one and change fingers with hands. Sarcasm/irony of the old "dwarves (guys) with big hands"
bestone
02-05-07, 09:24 PM What do the party cleric and a female half orc have in common?....... you dont appreciate them till they go down
trickydevl666
02-05-07, 11:15 PM "You know, there's nothing wrong with perfectionism"
Tjuk
02-07-07, 03:26 AM " I am proud to introduce you too the evildoer in command <name here> , Put your hands together people! "
Jenkins007
02-08-07, 01:18 AM "So I says 'rectu*, dam near kill'd 'em!'"
That basically fits in any situation. I use it daily. Heh heh :P

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
viscen 02-05-07, 08:33 PM	im looking for witty and funny(all kinds puns, satircal, sarcastic etc.) things to say in the right moments. my bard's perform skill is perform (comedy). please help me come up with a d# list of lines. few lines: "Been there, slain that." "What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?" "you know why dwarf's have big noses, look at the size of their fingers." thanks for taking the time to read and post.
AgentBlue 02-05-07, 08:46 PM	"you know why dwarf's have big noses, look at the size of their fingers." You could have a slightly alternate version of that one and change fingers with hands. Sarcasm/irony of the old "dwarves (guys) with big hands"
bestone 02-05-07, 09:24 PM	What do the party cleric and a female half orc have in common?....... you dont appreciate them till they go down
trickydevl666 02-05-07, 11:15 PM	"You know, there's nothing wrong with perfectionism"
Tjuk 02-07-07, 03:26 AM	" I am proud to introduce you too the evildoer in command <name here> , Put your hands together people! "
Jenkins007 02-08-07, 01:18 AM	"So I says 'rectu*, dam near kill'd 'em!'" That basically fits in any situation. I use it daily. Heh heh :P