Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Sunchilde 02-14-08, 03:45 AM	This is the story I have written for my character thus far. I anticipate I will probably do another 50% of what I have done to complete it. The character concept basically arose from me and my friend discussing various characters that would work for a game he was going to run where 1 level adjust was free and we could buy off level adjust as in UA, except ignoring one level of it (so a 1 level adjust would be base, 2 would be bought as 1 etc.) so basically to optimize (which I have a horrible habit of doing) my mind went through all the options for 2-3 level adjust without monstrous hit die. I decided I wanted to play a melee combatant as I have been itching to try out some multiclassing within the Bo9S. What I decided on was a Goliath Half Minotaur (the best race and template combination for physical str based combat I could think of) and then decided to make it fun how it came to being. This is what arose. I don't care if you don't like melee, I don't wanna be a spell caster. No I don't wanna choose a new race/template combo. I just want an honest critique on how you as a DM (or as a fellow player) would feel about playing with this character with this backstory. Meta analysis or any English critiques are unwelcome and unnecessary - I am simply trying to get the message across. However: if a sentence is unclear in it's meaning or do not portray the story element you feel I am trying to portray, feel more than welcome to give me hints. Just don't whine about spelling/grammar unless it is essential =) This is long btw (like you can't tell by my introduction) so sit down when you have a minute or two. My Tale I knew only of my mother through the tales my father told me. She died long before I had my first memories, but I think I can imagine her from what I have heard. There was a time when the dwarves were again expanding their realms, digging the soil in all directions in an effort to find more minerals, more gold, more iron and mithral. On one such dig, they came across a hazard, as dwarves often did. However, rather than lose dwarves lives trying to remove the dangerous obstacle, they hired. A nearby clan of Goliaths were renown for having some of the best warriors across the land, telling tales of learning a technique called ‘the sublime way’ from the elder elementals of earth across the region. Whether or not this was true, the Goliath clan was known for being in constant battle against all manner of monstrous nations, from the orcs to the ogres to the storm giants nearby and even the drow. They were well known for this because they didn’t lose. So the dwarves petitioned the Goliath, for whom they made weapons and armour often enough already, and offered services and gold in return for clearing the area. The Goliaths agreed, so sure of their own power, and sent only one, their best female warrior Ulia to deal with it. The dwarves were nervous, but trusted in their allies and took her to where the tunnel broke in. Strewn across the ground were many dwarf corpses, and her guide stayed a cautious distance away, pointed and began to explain “it seems to be a maze. That will likely be the least of your worries though, as soon as we attempted to enter a huge minotaur came out and killed an entire mining party save for one dwarf.” Ullia had been taught to be smart but fearless by her tribe, and knew that within the lair the beast would have no advantage over her, nor she over it, and the fight would be fair and good. She stepped in boldly and began to walk into the maze. When no minotaur approached after a few seconds she began to call out. Then it arrived, huge and magnificent and more frightening than she was prepared for. It stood almost 20 feet tall with huge horns pointed forward and wearing gleaming armour and holding a shield and spear, a spear that resonated with power ancient and strong. “Leave now stone child, this place is not for mortals.” His voice boomed filling the stone cavity. The deep rumble of it brought Ullia back to her senses, and she charged. Her attack after attack he parried with seeming ease, whether she brought it high or low, he held his shield before it easily, or pushed it harmlessly aside with his own weapon. But slowly she saw his method, relying on his eyes to simply keep watch well enough of her movements that he predicted each strike as soon as it was initiated. Feigning a strike that would swoop under his shield arm, she used the visual cover the shield provided so briefly to swing wildly to the side, trusting her judgement to keep her safe, and raked her sword across his exposed thigh. Leaping backwards the beast seemed shocked. Looking down at the deep gash in his leg, Ullia felt hope that she would indeed slay this beast and bring honour to her tribe. Then, to her horror, she realized that the wound was becoming more shallow, and within moments of staring in shock, it had sealed entirely. “what manner of beast are you ?!?” She exclaimed at the beast, never having seen a warrior heal himself so effortlessly, even the priests had to pray and wave their holy symbols to enact healing. “A minotaur, Goliath, did not your dwarven fool-sages even tell you that?” “A minotaur that’s skin magically stitches?” “Yes, Moradin did not place me here without making sure I would be able to handle the mortal races first. A god does not do things trivially, he granted me much power to guard this evil.” And so they began to speak, surprised her foe was not just a mindless beast who attacked the dwarves, Ullia eventually found out that the dwarves had not spoken a complete truth, and that the minotaur, now known as Rithim, had told the dwarves that they could not enter, and only when they refused to listen, after espouting how the stone was their home and no beasty would be stopping them going where they likes, he was forced to kill them due to his charge by Moradin. He explained that Moradin had sealed a relic of great evil power here, far enough under the earth that he had hoped it never to be found. In this brief time, Ullia found herself to love this great and imposing beast as she had never loved a Goliath. She told him she would fix it all, on the condition that she might reside with him here. He agreed on the condition that she do not approach the relic, a condition to which she readily agreed. After dealing with the dwarves, and her tribe, Ullia came back to Rithim, and the dwarves sealed the maze after her. I know little about this time, my father having told me only the barest of details about my mother at this point. He usually resigned himself to simply saying that they were the only moments in his life he felt mortal, and I believe this actually meant happy. Regardless, I remember little of my mother, she having died before my 15 birthday when my memories began to form more clearly. I didn’t understand at the time that she was not dying from some dread plague, but of old age, though this seemed odd to me as my father was still as youthful as I ever remembered him and to me the time seemed so trivial to me. Only many years later when I stood by the dwarves for the last time did I realize the fleeting lifespan of most mortal races, and how exceedingly long my mother had lived for one of the Goliath people. However, the time with my father was not lost, and we spent much time simply talking while we sparred. It seemed to be that which my father was most comfortable with. He felt combat prowess to be his greatest asset, and felt it should be one of mine. I always found his wisdom more enrapturing, but my father seemed to take it for granted. I assume after having lived for as long as my father seemed to (aeons by his measure) I would feel that knowledge comes easily also. But not yet. Perhaps I am more Goliath than my age would give me credit for. Mother’s fighting style was always more engaging to me. Father found it odd that I use her strange and ordered techniques. His own methods were mostly haphazard or simply angry, though I seldom saw that side of his fighting in our sparring matches, more often against the other denizens , rare though they were, of the maze. He seemed to just throw himself with abandon at the enemy, and simply drove on until the battle was done. I could fight like this, but I find fighting more graceful, like a dance, where you win by knowing the steps of the dance that the other person doesn’t know. Eventually though this time of reverie with my father ended, as the day he had dreaded, and warned me of (though at the time I scarcely believed him) had finally come, and Moradin had found a new use for his legendary protector. So I burrowed out of the maze, as my father had instructed, calling the name of Moradin, also as my father instructed. The odd little people I know now as the iron forge dwarves (gold dwarves by race) swarmed and yelled and seemed in a flurry of activity I had seen only in battle before this. Eventually one dressed in ornate armour and robes and with a symbol of Moradin on his shield came and spoke to me in the Goliath tongue. His Gol-Kaa was better formed than my own, after many years of not speaking it, but eventually he realized I spoke ancient dwarves (the language my father used to speak to Moradin and then taught me). I came to know him as Thordrin, the high priest of Moradin for the entire city. He helped me catch my ancient dwarven up to modern times, and soon enough integrated me into the dwarven community as a miner. My stature, he said, was given to me by Moradin himself to help them mine the newest vein of Adamantine they had found. This adamantine was exceedingly hard, exceeded only by my fathers spear by any substance I had known, and the dwarves found it difficult to pull out in single pieces because of the weight. I, however, with the aid of their pulleys and machinery (and their machines and pulleys with the aid of my great strength ^_^ ) were able to take up much larger deposits of adamantine unhewn. This pleased the dwarves greatly, and for a time I felt like I was useful in a way I had never been before. Daily I would enter the mines and work many hours, but less than most of the dwarves. I was only necessary for the biggest loads, so the rest of the time, they allowed me to do as I would around the city. Each day I would wander the city and talk to whoever would speak to me. Often people were not friendly, some were very visibly afraid of me, but I understood that my stature, standing more than double most of their heights, would be intimidating to me if I had not spent so many years around my father. However, when I did speak I learned much about the outside world I had not known. I heard that the world I had thought so sparsely populated as my maze, was in fact brimming with various races and cities and civilizations. I had hoped dearly to visit them all as I sat underground in Ironforge. And for a time this was good. However — misfortune as only misunderstanding could bring struck. One day as I was exiting the mine, holding a great hammer I had been using to help insert a wedge into the a tunnel support, I spied what I thought was an albino Drow. The drow had invaded the maze a handful of times, and I watched as my father scattered them without a thought. When I had inquired as to why he killed the drow so hastily when he had tried to negotiate with the other races (svirfneblin amongst them) he told me of the great evil of the race of the drow and how the artifact we had been charged with protecting would be of great value to them and their Goddess Lolth. He told me he had no reason to trust any band of drow, as any drow with a soul would travel alone regardless, shamed of his race as he would inevitably be. So seeing my city in ‘danger’ I quickly used all my might to hopefully end the vile existence of this ‘pale drow.’ As I soon learnt, not all elves are drow, and not all deserve to die. Thordrin informed me of the gravity of the error I had made. I had killed an elven envoy, an important one, and Ironforge would be forced to make great reparations to keep civil with the surface elves. He told me the only hope they had was to give me up to the elves. I agreed to this readily, not wanting to cause any further harm due to my ignorance of the world. I had not intended to hurt my benevolent and kind dwarven friends, and had no intention of doing it now that I had a choice. The Elven blade guard arrived several days later, all armed and sneering, looking at me as if I were a demon or drow. They spoke to me in slow, sharp dwarven, contempt visible in every movement and word towards me. I didn’t realize at the time that only half the contempt was due to my mishap with the envoy. The other half was simply at my appearance — I appeared as a demon to them, so huge and haired as to be unrecognizable as a Goliath. So ended my four years with the dwarves, though I will always remember those times fondly. My time with the elves was the briefest time spent in any area to date. I traveled quickly across mountains and a great plains, filled with more species of more animals than I knew name for. My elven captors did nothing to alleviate this ignorance. Soon we came upon a great forest, and entered it just as quickly. Before I had seen enough of this forest to even begin to form an understanding of it, I was standing before an elven council. These people were all thin, all pale, all delicate in features and robe and demeanor. They all seemed to possess a grace I had not seen before except in dreams. With the otherworldly sweet and shrill voices they questioned me on what had occurred. I told them frankly, whilst trying to sound as eloquent as I could for these magical creatures who so befuddled me with their shining magnificence. The nature of the matter was not complex, and soon they began to question me on many other things, my upbringing, my heritage, my thoughts and feelings and how I ended up amongst the dwarves. I answered all as best I could, but eventually burst out, “why?!” Their silence was deafening. I sat for many a moment feeling that, for the first time since my father, I was being judged. “Why what Keorth?” “Why are you asking me all of these questions? Thordrin’s words made me believe you were simply to kill me? I mean no disrespect, and I had hoped to live, but false hope before the end would be simply be tortuous.” That was my first encounter with justice. The elves deemed me unfit to be trialed as an adult. I believe it was their own life span’s length in comparison with the dwarves that let them understand exactly how young I was then, and that my actions were only of good intent. I had, however, committed a crime. So again I worked mines, this time picking up mithril for the elves. One year servitude for the death. This year was less pleasant than the time I had spent working for the dwarves. Here I was a criminal and un-beautiful. But the work was easy, the soft elves not realizing my strength, and I spent much time simply wandering around the area of forest I was told I was allowed to walk through. At the end of this year, I was set free, and I began to wander towards the place I had found my mind wandering towards more and more often since my crime. My mother’s tribe. I wandered the areas around the city of iron forge for quite some time. I quickly learnt which animals were easiest to kill and eat. I was sure that my father had told me of using weapons to hunt, but I found using my hands to break their neck was quicker and less painful to them than my clumsy work with my dagger. I attempted to speak to many Goliath tribes, but those that would speak to me knew nothing of my mother’s name. Eventually, I found a tribe that offered to induct me for a single year, as they spoke to many of the Goliath tribes, and see if they could help me find my mother’s tribe. I eagerly accepted their offer, diplomacy with Goliaths having proven itself difficult enough that any help I could take I would. So for a time I lived with the tribe Or’ta. They told me many of their stories and I listened, having few of my own. Each night after hunting (I was usually asked to bring a single deer, or sometimes two each day, which left me with much time to simply talk to the elders) we would gather around the fire and the older members would tell stories of great Goliath achievements and how each Goliath should strive to have their stories added to this list of extraordinary achievements. One day, the elder told a story that sounded oddly like my mother’s, but twisted. He told a tale of a Goliath women, a great warrior, who offered to aid the dwarves with an awakened ‘demon’ in their new tunnels. She could not defeat the demon and told the dwarves to seal her in with the demon where she would remain fighting for eternity. I was unsure of whether the story was, actually, an odd mistranslation of what happened to my mother. I spoke to the village elder who had told the story, and he said that was the story as he knew it, though he said a minotaur was considered a type of demon to the Goliath, so the mistake was possible. After much discussion, I found out a tribe of Goliath’s we would be meeting in 3 months had originated the story. So I waited. I found out much about Goliath culture in this time. I earned the title adjudicator, as I was far too large to play in most of the games, but the elder’s wanted me to have something to do, so I was chosen to judge fairness in the games, and my decisions seemed to please the tribe once I had learnt enough of the rules. It was a title I enjoyed much, and kept as my last name, as I had never had a name beyond Keorth. I spent my time either with the elder’s or the children. These were the groups that understood me best. The elders had seen so much in their time that my odd appearance didn’t startle them, and the children had seen little that it startled them just as much as everything else. The children enjoyed climbing up my large frame and tugging on the fur I had that so distinguished me from the other Goliaths. When I tried to tell the children I was a Goliath too they just laughed, so I let it be. We met the tribe on a sunny day and they spent a day playing games. At the end of the day I approached an elder and began to question him on the story. He was surprised that I thought the demon was a minotaur, but told me I was correct. It seemed that the warrior woman’s name was indeed Ullia, and I asked him if she had any kin left. “Kin? That story is from hundreds of years ago — her bloodline remains but I doubt we could call them kin. What would make you ask so odd a question horned-one?” This was when I realized my distance from the Goliaths again. Hundreds of years I had spent with my father, the tale was but an ancient myth to this tribe. But I had to try to get to know my mother’s heritage regardless, so I ignored his question and asked if I could simply stay with them for a time. He didn’t answer immediately, he conferred for many days with the other tribal elders and the chief. Eventually however, they agreed, and I began to learn where my mother had begun her life.
Orchomenos 02-14-08, 09:36 AM	Wow. Massive story. ;) Little nitpicks: 1) At the beginning, it should be better to tell the dwarven asked the goliath to petition a champion, instead of just having the goliath send a lone female goliath when the dwarves requested a squad... 2) Regardless, I remember little of my mother, she having died before my 15 birthday when my memories began to form more clearly. This somewhat doesn't mesh with the rest of the story, and your own unknown age. On one side, hinting that by 15 years old you were still a toddler somewhat spoil the punch. On the other side, I don't know the goliath lifespan, but a woman dying of old age barely 15 years after giving birth is a bit odd... Perhaps did she die of some disease, to which the minotaurs are immune? 3) I didn't know the Minotaurs were immortal? Was his father a Celestial Minotaur? Major Loophole: For eons, your father was tasked by Moradin to guard an evil artefact. Then suddenly, Moradin has other plans for him. But now, who the heck is guarding this evil artefact?
Sunchilde 02-14-08, 10:47 AM	1) At the beginning, it should be better to tell the dwarven asked the goliath to petition a champion, instead of just having the goliath send a lone female goliath when the dwarves requested a squad... I like this idea - I think I will include it =p 2) Regardless, I remember little of my mother, she having died before my 15 birthday when my memories began to form more clearly. This somewhat doesn't mesh with the rest of the story, and your own unknown age. On one side, hinting that by 15 years old you were still a toddler somewhat spoil the punch. Might rework this somewhat On the other side, I don't know the goliath lifespan, but a woman dying of old age barely 15 years after giving birth is a bit odd... Perhaps did she die of some disease, to which the minotaurs are immune? 3) I didn't know the Minotaurs were immortal? Was his father a Celestial Minotaur? Legendary to be precise (as the template, 'chosen by the Gods to do a service etc etc.) as we were specifically given free reign to mess with any of the lore as long as it only pertained to our races and we okayed it first (seeing as how none of us were going to be 'core' races was okay =p) Major Loophole: For eons, your father was tasked by Moradin to guard an evil artefact. Then suddenly, Moradin has other plans for him. But now, who the heck is guarding this evil artefact? Major planned loophole =p This part meshes in with the story later on with it being a major blow to Moradin by another God. My father wasn't summoned away by Moradin specifically, but summoned away by a high priest of Moradin in order to try free the God . . . now the Drow have a hold of the artefact and bad things shall begin ^_^ Thanks - good stuff so far - but I hope for more =p
Staver 02-14-08, 10:54 AM	I'm still a little confused. Why would Moradin, the LG All-Father of the Dwarves, buff up a CE Minotaur to defend an evil artifact? Why wouldn't he just buff a squad of Dwarven Defenders? And then, to make matters worse, the buffed Minotaur then has to kill a bunch of his master's followers! Just not feelin' it, sorry... My personal fix, which I have a feeling won't work with your intentional loopholes and such, would be to have the evil artifact be a treasure of Baphomet, and the minotaur is guarding the artifact for him. The dwarves find this vault of Baphomet, get killed, summon the goliath etc as you have. -HTH, Staver :)
Sunchilde 02-14-08, 11:13 AM	Like I said - control over Lore (+honestly it would work in any system) - Moradin created this minotaur. Moradin is not predisposed to creating dwarves. Dwarves are cool, but classically the Gods did not use their chosen people to ever guard artefacts of great and mysterious evil =p About killing Moradin's followers, in my head I had the minotaur mourning the loss of their lives a lot more than I see him doing now that I read over the text, will go back and work on that bit. Thanks ^_^
Staver 02-14-08, 11:26 AM	About killing Moradin's followers, in my head I had the minotaur mourning the loss of their lives a lot more than I see him doing now that I read over the text, will go back and work on that bit. Thanks ^_^ This could work out really well. You could do some dialog between Rithim and Ullia in which Rithim expresses his grief, and this could trigger her love of him. -Staver :D
Sunchilde 02-14-08, 11:27 AM	This could work out really well. You could do some dialog between Rithim and Ullia in which Rithim expresses his grief, and this could trigger her love of him. -Staver :D You make me smile
Staver 02-14-08, 11:36 AM	You make me smile I may have to sig that! Another thought I had, which you are of course welcome to take or leave, is to have Moradin try to avert this disaster. He could visit one or all of the miners in dreams the night before their digging hits the maze, warning them to not continue digging in that direction. They seem determined, telling off Rithim, so why not shrug off the dream too? Just a thought, Staver
Sunchilde 02-14-08, 11:56 AM	I think I will use your idea . . . twisted. I will have the high priest of that time have warned them, and then they continue regardless. This would create a rift between the clergy of Moradin and the rest of the Dwarves that could be evident in the culture when Keorth enters the Dwarven lands. When he notices this he could find out about the story and the dream and the continuing and his father's slaying of the dwarves and how that ties in with his father and mother's story. Hmmmmmmm
Leader-of-the-Pack 02-18-08, 11:25 PM	I like the overall idea and originality, but the character is inherently high fantasy ( cmon, how many half minotaur goliaths can there be? ) so make sure your DM is either going to, a) make the whole campaign high fantasy, or b) have a whole host of strange characters in a normal world and use some complex plot methods to tie all the stories together somehow. Overall, good ideas, just check up with your DM.
Sunchilde 02-20-08, 03:01 AM	Ah , see another thing I forgot to include. You will notice my friend was giving us level adjusts free and buy-offable. This is because he wanted fantastical characters to be in this game. The basic story (I can now talk about because the campaign has started, though my backstory shall continue to develop) is that the party meets eachother all having ended up, by various means, in a highly efficient highly protective prison. Essentially, a group of psions that appeared with a new moon in the sky have taken over almost all of the world, leaving only bastions of defense that remain due to attrition of the armies of the psions. Essentially, each of us were found in our various situations, and as the crazy fantastical persons we are - were put in the high priority ward. Story begins thusly. So fantastical = me winning ^_^