| Post/Author/DateTime | Post |
|---|---|
| HappyPants11-16-06, 03:44 AM | I am helping a friend set up a character and he is going to be playing a low INT ogre named Beefwax. He'll probably be low CHA and medium WIS as well. Due to his limited linguistic abilities, he'll only be able to say a few phrases in common (maybe a dozen or so). We've only decided couple good phrases such as "Beefwax make smash" and so we're asking you forumgoers to help us come up with some more. The more the better, even if they're really dumb...especially if they're really dumb. Ready, GO! |
| aleshandre11-16-06, 08:01 AM | Beefwax like pretty ponies...they tasty. Flowers make Beefwax sick...and they not taste good too. Beefwax hungry and you look yummy. Beefwax want smash funny ugly face in rock. MMMmmm BEEER!! (or anything else Homer Simpson would say) What that mean? (about anything easy to understand - other than "you want some beer?") |
| Shaggy_Shaggs11-16-06, 10:12 AM | :ayyyy!: "Ayyyyyy!" |
| havenscloud11-16-06, 01:06 PM | one word phrases are always funny, especially in the wrong context. For instance Beefwax is lead to believe screaming "Dafodil!" will strike fear in the heart of his enemies. Me smash you dead Powned Me disgruntled Loud noises You smaller than Beefwax poo Groggle (or other gibberish) BOOM Beefwax not no stupid |
| Need_A_Life11-16-06, 02:30 PM | "Beefwax reluclantly forced to agree" "Beefwax likes ice cream... *chop*... with sprinkles" "Beefwax happy, talky-man happy!" "not nale. not-nale. beefwax help nail not-nale, not nale. and beefwax knot not-nale while nale nail not-nale. nale, not not-nale, now nail not-nale by leaving not-nale, not nale, in jail." Me loves Thog |
| ant1ers11-16-06, 03:32 PM | Beefwax thwap! Beefwax smarterest Orc in world! :D |
| Reversefigure411-16-06, 05:01 PM | Consider having one single phrase that's he's memorised, taught to him by some high INT character. Something meaningless, that often doesn't fit the situation, and Beefwax has no idea what he's actually saying, he just repeats it because he thinks it makes him sound smart. "Come on, Beefwax, we have to rescue the princess! But how can we get into the tower?" "Egads! Let's invert the polyphonic matrix!" "Beefwax... what are you talking about?" "Beefwax not know." |
| HaikenEdge11-16-06, 05:27 PM | "Beefwax down right fierce like... like... down right fierce thing!" (cookie to whoever gets the reference) "Beefwax have beef. Wack with axe." |
| pmurray@bigpond.com11-16-06, 10:22 PM | A handy technique is to pick one or two catchphrases for the various actions you can take in melee: bull rush, overrun, full attack, rage ability etc. |
| AegisShade11-17-06, 02:10 PM | BULLRUSH/OVERRUN: "Beefwax need to go. Move for Beefwax...team boss tell Beefwax to say please." INJURY: "Beefwax hurt like reading!" |
| AMGriffin11-17-06, 10:51 PM | Tell me a bit more about him in general, family life, alignment. How he grew up...his friends, the current party...etc. etc. |
| Lord Karsus11-18-06, 12:29 AM | Diplomacy "Beefwax sincerely hopes that we can work out our differences, lest we come to blows, goodsir." Intimidate "Beefwax Smash puny Humans!!" |
| Pandaemoni11-18-06, 12:45 AM | Catch phrase of a stupid cleric: For the glory of my Dog! I mean God! |
| JulesCARV11-18-06, 01:56 AM | You could have him talk in tired, brainless clichés: "Death or glory!" "I have no fear, for I am fear incarnate!" "Dolce et decorum... dolce pro... ah, bugger it! Chaaaarge!" |
| Pandaemoni11-18-06, 08:06 AM | Our enemies never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. |
| Johnny_Angel11-18-06, 09:45 AM | (when trying to sound smarter) If you build a man a fire, you'll keep him warm for a day. If you set a man on fire, you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life....no, wait, that's not quite right. (when charging into battle) spoon! |
| saihenjin11-18-06, 02:54 PM | Beefwax put pointy thing into squishy thing! (Gotta love 8-bit theatre) In fact, go to the 8-bit theatre site, and quote everything said by fighter. :D Also, Dead things quiet. Beefwax have headache. |
| Reversefigure411-18-06, 03:53 PM | INJURY: "Beefwax hurt like reading!" Best one yet. |
| Kitaki11-18-06, 04:39 PM | (Gotta love 8-bit theatre) In fact, go to the 8-bit theatre site, and quote everything said by fighter. :D Especially use the phrase "I'm helping" whenever he is told to do something. Or you could adjust it to be "Beefwax helpingful". |
| AMGriffin11-19-06, 08:58 PM | Give other characters affectionate titles, like the wizard could be a "guy in bathrobe." or the paladin could be "Shiny." |
| AegisShade11-21-06, 03:36 AM | RAGE: "Beef. Wax. Beef! Wax! BEEF! WAX! ... ... ... BEEEEEEEEFWAAAAAAAX!!!" CRIT: "Why you cry, human? ... ... ... Oh, human want arm back." "Aaaargh! Beefwax just bath-ed!" GRAPPLING: "Beefwax learn this move from humping baboons! Erm, watching baboons humping. Yes." PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING: "...Beefwax forget next line." "Die faster! Beefwax need to go number two!" In fact, go to the 8-bit theatre site, and quote everything said by fighter. The RM "Why-Won't-You-Love-Me-Daddy" lines are pretty good for this too. |
| Kitaki11-21-06, 08:30 AM | I've always found the Black Mage lines to work great for any moderatly intelligent evil character, its just so much fun. |
| Dharan_Aelorothi11-21-06, 08:07 PM | How about... GRAHH! and UNGHH! and sometimes BLOOOOOOOOOOOOG! I can't believe nobody thought of those! |
| AegisShade11-22-06, 03:27 AM | How about... GRAHH! and UNGHH! and sometimes BLOOOOOOOOOOOOG! I can't believe nobody thought of those! Maybe that's because we're trying to invent low Int catchphrases as opposed to unintelligible ones? ;) |
| Cam S.11-22-06, 11:11 AM | In response to interrogation: "Beefwax not know. Beefwax only pawn in game of life." |
| Dharan_Aelorothi11-22-06, 12:56 PM | Maybe that's because we're trying to invent low Int catchphrases as opposed to unintelligible ones? ;) Argh, you got me there... Try: When being stabbed/slashed/beaten: Nooooo! Beefwax need that later! When chasing people: Come baaaaaack! Beefwax not done diss... disem... choppin' youz up! That idea about referring to different characters by nicknames like "Guy-in-Bathrobe" and "Shiny" still makes me crack up though :D |
| aleshandre11-22-06, 07:29 PM | When bored with a conversation: Me not like talk much. Me smack you with hammer now. When facing a smarter foe (anyone really): You not so smart when me chop head off. |
| General_Ridley11-23-06, 08:26 PM | "Beefwax down right fierce like... like... down right fierce thing!" (cookie to whoever gets the reference) "Beefwax have beef. Wack with axe." I believe I recall something similar in the book on Gully Dwarves? as for phrases: when asked a question he does not know the answer to or understand: "Beefwax no comp... compre... You confuze beefwax!" "I smash, then take stuff." when he thinks he's asking a tough question: "How now, brown cow?" "You is not needed no more. Me smash now. Me hope you have fun time as puddle." |
| Druidsrule11-25-06, 09:23 AM | I once had a 5-Int half-orc barbarian with a greataxe that had healing abilities. "Hit with iron-thingy of axe, heal with tree-thingy of axe... Or, wait, now me confused! Too many stuffs!" |
| Ryuu_Tenshi11-25-06, 01:31 PM | Watch Firefly. Quote Jayne Cobb. Example: To a rogue (spelling?): There ain't nothin worse than a low down dirty deceivin deciever! |
| HappyPants11-26-06, 05:12 AM | Jayne is great, but there are two problems with that suggestion. 1) Everyone I play with would know the quotes and I would get yelled at. 2) Even Jayne has some good brains now and then. We're talking like INT 4 here. To everyone, the list is getting longer thanks to all your input. Lots of this stuff is gold. Feel free to keep posting more stuff because we've barely scratched the surface of Beffwax's dumbness! A few good ones from outside the forums: "Beefwax make smelly air!" "Beefwax fix door...or make many pieces" "Beefwax think is look more good before he eatsed it." |
| HaikenEdge11-26-06, 02:20 PM | I believe I recall something similar in the book on Gully Dwarves? Warbux vs the World: "Bux is downright fierce like a hadouken." Anyways, more quotes: "Beefwax hungry. Beefwax cannot think when hungry... Beefwax cannot think when not hungry." |
| Kirjiron12-02-06, 04:04 PM | Someone already got "spoon," so I'll put in my two-cents worth. How about a simple "Yeah." Remember Trading Places. when Eddie Murphy's character is in jail there is the one guy who says "yeah," after everything his buddy says. Or when you make a big time crit, it could be "YEAH!!!" Think Inignok here, and did I spell that right? |
| Doomed_Penguin12-02-06, 05:44 PM | Dude. You can make the word Dude mean ANYTHING!!! It's great, me and my friend do that all the time, and it drives people nuts! |
| CheeseMan12-02-06, 08:20 PM | just use orc quotes from Warcraft 2...daboo |
| UndeadMouse12-04-06, 01:14 PM | Beefwax like (random animal, preferably small and cute) Beefwax find yellow gel in ear. yellow gel tastes good. Beefwax smell funny stink. |
| Spelljammer12-08-06, 04:16 AM | Wizard or Scholar type makes plans or is philosophical. Beefwax: :confused: "Fire Bad, Tree Pretty." Wizard/Scholar: Er, sorry. Um, here's a ball. Perhaps you wish to bounce it. Beefwax: :) (eats ball) Thank You! |
| the_taken12-08-06, 03:52 PM | Dude. You can make the word Dude mean ANYTHING!!! It's great, me and my friend do that all the time, and it drives people nuts! You're an awesome dude, Dude. Awesome! |
| Adolph_Kheebler12-10-06, 02:22 AM | I am currently playing an INT 5 Duskling Totemist who thinks he and the rest of his party are gods. I thought that was rather inspired. He is constantly saying things like "evil dark god make go boom" to the kineticist and "you only half god, or child god" to the halfling. However he has long fully inteligible conversations with the wall and with various animals (no he doesn't have speak with animals but he talks to them anyway). |
| Thevail12-13-06, 05:42 PM | From the movie Oh Brother where art thou.. Whenever a disagreement erupts in the party. "I'm with you guys.." When someone uses diplomacy or bardic skills... "You have pretty words...sound nice" "Can too kill with own armor..go squish.." "I like pancakes!" with enthusiasm..just whenever he thinks of it. "@$#% you..me smarter than my brother!" if his INT is in question. "I bring you shinies...you pretty...me real strong." This is his version of flirting, politely. |
| Omnirahk, half-Rahkshi12-14-06, 04:54 PM | How about this one? "Beefwax know meaning of life! Hokey pokey! That's what it's all about!" I know I saw something similar in someone's sig (I gotta start recording who). It's funny because Beefwax hears the line "That's what it's all about" and concludes it IS the meaning of life. No doubt. Common knowledge. |
| TwoPi12-15-06, 05:02 AM | Me hit sword with your face! To the caster of the group: "Make the shiny booms?!" |
| Illiterate_Scribe12-16-06, 01:07 PM | I think basically anything said by Thog (of OOTS) ever. thog like sprinkles! |
| MagnaSecuris12-16-06, 05:15 PM | Anything by Mongo in Blazing Saddles. But whenever my half orc would rage, I would pause, look around the table and shout "RAAAAAGE!" It was great times. |
| Angel Black12-18-06, 11:37 AM | Against an enemy that seems to be really weak... - I like to squish little ants - Ant was too strong,Ant was too strong! - Ant has too many friends, Ant has too many friends! Against despictable enemy - You wormish sluggish toadish you. - You chickenish girlish cowardish you. - You childish greenish fiendish you - You every ish word I know (http://www.cyberonic.com/~bigdoggy/ish.html) you ???? -You...cow! -I strong !!! -Valiant the me !!! -Hungry!!!!! |
| Griff12-18-06, 11:49 AM | "The Calvary has arrived!... The Cavlary has arrived... tha Calvalver... IM A HORSEY" |
| Kevtar12-18-06, 06:00 PM | "Beefwax needs food badly..." |