more in-depth backstory, help [Archive] - Wizards Community

more in-depth backstory, help [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
prozacman
12-09-06, 05:45 AM So i've recently started a new character, a dwarven swordsage.

I have a basic backstory, but would like some assistance to flesh out the backstory from those of you with more writing talent/knowledge of dwarven culture.

The campaign setting is based around the "steel hill" game book, i havnt personally looked through this book, but its basically a list of NPC's and plot hooks for a city called "steel hill."

Other than that city, the world is homebrew. The dm tends to take our backstories into account when creating the world.. so i have a lot of breathing room for my story. Furthermore from the bit i've told the DM he said my dwarf is likely from a far-off dwarven city.

So without futher ado, here's what a i got.

Cayeen (pronounced kain) was raised in a family that had always been involved in the defence of the city, as fighters. They are renouned for their skill with weapons and they're great tactical minds. This became of great importance during Cayeen's lifetime, because a great goblin army had amassed itself in the dwarves' mountain. Led by a powerful hobgoblin, who was schooled in the sublime way (warblade?). Even as a young shield-bearer Cayeen saw the might of this fighting style as the Dwarven army was pushed farther and farther back from their ancestral territory. He watched as the most powerful warriors in his family were slain by this Hobgoblin. Until finally Cayeen came of age to train as a warrior and defend his people. He asked the elders for permission to travel out of the city and learn the fighting style of the hobgoblin that had defeated them so many times. The elders, fearing that these new tactics were unholy banned him from doin so, and he followed their orders and remained in the city, begining his weapons training. During the course of his training an old gnome showed up in the Dwarven city, watching as the young dwarves trained, and spending much time in the local taverns. As the tradition dictated, when the goblins attacked again, the trainees did not fight, they continued to prepare. And once again the dwarves were defeated.. pushed back deeper into the mountain yet again.
The old gnome saw this and Cayeen heard of it.. so once again he begged the council to let him travel outside the city to learn the secret techniques of the Hobgoblin General. This time the clever eyes and ears of the old gnome saw him pleas.. and though the council still deneighed him, that night the gnome came to his barracks and told Cayeen that he would teach him how to defeat the goblins, but that there would most certainly be a hefty price to pay. The overanxiousness of youth took over Cayeen, who assumed the price would be paid in gold. And he gladly took up the gnome's offer, w/o even bothering to question what the price would be. And so the old gnome took Cayeen from his home for many years, and taught him the ways of a swordsage. Cayeen became quite skilled and returned to his home with the old gnome, the two of them arrived to see the city being sacked by goblins.. the rushed in and assisted the dwarven army.. between the army, Cayeen, and his mentor they routed the goblins, and in a campaign that lasted several years pushed them out of the mountain. Cayeen was not hailed as a hero as he thought he would be, but dishonored for disobeying the council and abandoning his duty as a warrior of the clan. He was stripped of his name and banished from the mountain. His wife volunteered to go with him, but he told her not to, refusing to allow their unborn child to share in his dishonor. He packed what little he had and left the mountain, wandering for some time before arriving in steel hill.

What i would love is a more compelling way to incorporate the fact the cayeen is married and has a child he's never met into the backstory.. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. i'm also terrible with names... so i'd love name suggestions for the city, the old gnome, the hobgoblin general.

To a lesser extint i'd like an accurate clan name for cayeen. I realize dwarven names are rediculously easy... but just calling it somthing like Ironhelm, Stoneaxe, or oakenshield seems somehow.... insufficient.

So yeah... any ideas, praise, or constructive criticism would be appreciated.

thanx in advance

oh... in a vaguely related note... Cayeen has a terrible charisma (4) so if you cant think of stuff for the story.. advice on how to RP a relatively intelligent(12), highly wise(15), character who's got a terrible charisma would be great
JulesCARV
12-14-06, 03:22 PM Some ideas:

1. Maybe he told his wife that he wanted to learn to fight like a hobgoblin. What did she think of that? Was she repulsed? Intrigued? Maybe he told his wife about the gnome's offer. What was her reaction? Did she warn that this was a bad idea, did she want to go get swordsage training too, or what?

2. Also, if he was away for several years, why was she still pregnant when he got back? Has he been visiting her back home, or she visiting him at the gnome's place? Do dwarves have a very long gestation period?

3. Maybe you could put a bit more detail into why the dwarves were so mad at him when he returned. For example, maybe when he left the dwarves, he had been supposed to patrol the upper western mineshaft or something, but didn't do it because he ran off to learn from the gnome. A hobgoblin scout managed to go through the unattended mineshaft and discovered a new route of attack, taking the dwarves by surprise from this new vantage, and cost the dwarves many lives. (unless you just want to go for the "most dwarves are jerks" angle)
prozacman
12-14-06, 04:23 PM thanks a lot, this was just the kinda brain fuel i was looking for.

I really needed someone to point out some holes in what i had thought up. I gotta think about those things now. You have any other plot holes i didnt see? I'd love to hear them.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
prozacman 12-09-06, 05:45 AM	So i've recently started a new character, a dwarven swordsage. I have a basic backstory, but would like some assistance to flesh out the backstory from those of you with more writing talent/knowledge of dwarven culture. The campaign setting is based around the "steel hill" game book, i havnt personally looked through this book, but its basically a list of NPC's and plot hooks for a city called "steel hill." Other than that city, the world is homebrew. The dm tends to take our backstories into account when creating the world.. so i have a lot of breathing room for my story. Furthermore from the bit i've told the DM he said my dwarf is likely from a far-off dwarven city. So without futher ado, here's what a i got. Cayeen (pronounced kain) was raised in a family that had always been involved in the defence of the city, as fighters. They are renouned for their skill with weapons and they're great tactical minds. This became of great importance during Cayeen's lifetime, because a great goblin army had amassed itself in the dwarves' mountain. Led by a powerful hobgoblin, who was schooled in the sublime way (warblade?). Even as a young shield-bearer Cayeen saw the might of this fighting style as the Dwarven army was pushed farther and farther back from their ancestral territory. He watched as the most powerful warriors in his family were slain by this Hobgoblin. Until finally Cayeen came of age to train as a warrior and defend his people. He asked the elders for permission to travel out of the city and learn the fighting style of the hobgoblin that had defeated them so many times. The elders, fearing that these new tactics were unholy banned him from doin so, and he followed their orders and remained in the city, begining his weapons training. During the course of his training an old gnome showed up in the Dwarven city, watching as the young dwarves trained, and spending much time in the local taverns. As the tradition dictated, when the goblins attacked again, the trainees did not fight, they continued to prepare. And once again the dwarves were defeated.. pushed back deeper into the mountain yet again. The old gnome saw this and Cayeen heard of it.. so once again he begged the council to let him travel outside the city to learn the secret techniques of the Hobgoblin General. This time the clever eyes and ears of the old gnome saw him pleas.. and though the council still deneighed him, that night the gnome came to his barracks and told Cayeen that he would teach him how to defeat the goblins, but that there would most certainly be a hefty price to pay. The overanxiousness of youth took over Cayeen, who assumed the price would be paid in gold. And he gladly took up the gnome's offer, w/o even bothering to question what the price would be. And so the old gnome took Cayeen from his home for many years, and taught him the ways of a swordsage. Cayeen became quite skilled and returned to his home with the old gnome, the two of them arrived to see the city being sacked by goblins.. the rushed in and assisted the dwarven army.. between the army, Cayeen, and his mentor they routed the goblins, and in a campaign that lasted several years pushed them out of the mountain. Cayeen was not hailed as a hero as he thought he would be, but dishonored for disobeying the council and abandoning his duty as a warrior of the clan. He was stripped of his name and banished from the mountain. His wife volunteered to go with him, but he told her not to, refusing to allow their unborn child to share in his dishonor. He packed what little he had and left the mountain, wandering for some time before arriving in steel hill. What i would love is a more compelling way to incorporate the fact the cayeen is married and has a child he's never met into the backstory.. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. i'm also terrible with names... so i'd love name suggestions for the city, the old gnome, the hobgoblin general. To a lesser extint i'd like an accurate clan name for cayeen. I realize dwarven names are rediculously easy... but just calling it somthing like Ironhelm, Stoneaxe, or oakenshield seems somehow.... insufficient. So yeah... any ideas, praise, or constructive criticism would be appreciated. thanx in advance oh... in a vaguely related note... Cayeen has a terrible charisma (4) so if you cant think of stuff for the story.. advice on how to RP a relatively intelligent(12), highly wise(15), character who's got a terrible charisma would be great
JulesCARV 12-14-06, 03:22 PM	Some ideas: 1. Maybe he told his wife that he wanted to learn to fight like a hobgoblin. What did she think of that? Was she repulsed? Intrigued? Maybe he told his wife about the gnome's offer. What was her reaction? Did she warn that this was a bad idea, did she want to go get swordsage training too, or what? 2. Also, if he was away for several years, why was she still pregnant when he got back? Has he been visiting her back home, or she visiting him at the gnome's place? Do dwarves have a very long gestation period? 3. Maybe you could put a bit more detail into why the dwarves were so mad at him when he returned. For example, maybe when he left the dwarves, he had been supposed to patrol the upper western mineshaft or something, but didn't do it because he ran off to learn from the gnome. A hobgoblin scout managed to go through the unattended mineshaft and discovered a new route of attack, taking the dwarves by surprise from this new vantage, and cost the dwarves many lives. (unless you just want to go for the "most dwarves are jerks" angle)
prozacman 12-14-06, 04:23 PM	thanks a lot, this was just the kinda brain fuel i was looking for. I really needed someone to point out some holes in what i had thought up. I gotta think about those things now. You have any other plot holes i didnt see? I'd love to hear them.