My B-ground story [Archive] - Wizards Community

My B-ground story [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Soahc
06-27-07, 08:07 PM I'm new to making stories, especially backgrounds stories, umm, well I guess you can give me some pointers how to expand upon what I've written I do plan on going to into detail of the Myths org. and his training and his farming life. But else can I go into to depth on, maybe Soahc and Cirrus' relation ship... anyway tell me what you think and how it can be improved!

Thanks

Soahc’s Background Story

Soahc was born a son of a farmer, he tended the fields and did most daily farming chores, but above all, his favorite was tending to the horses. When Soahc’s father finally hired help to tend the farm, Soahc had taken upon himself to be the full time stable boy. Soahc spending so much time around the horses of his fathers farm, had grown an empathic bond with them, he began riding at the age of fifteen. When the live stock were threatened they were protected by Soahc on horseback, he protected the farm in this fashion, intuitively. As chores would seldom fall upon Soahc , he had more time to spend with his acquaintances and his best friend Cirrus, who had been drafted into the city’s military. Cirrus had not wished to join the military’s forces, but he “joined” under special conditions.

While hunting one day, Soahc had returned to a devastating sight. His father had been killed and farm set ablaze, animals slaughtered and some stolen. The town was silent, no one would say who did it, or under what motive. After burying his father’s remains he decided to leave the town with the only thing left of the farm the horse he was riding. Shortly after setting leave of town he was stopped by the castle guard. The guard sympathized with Soahc and gave him the position of the castle’s stable boy. A year later rumors of Soahc’s combat prowess reached the king, and he was placed into the city’s military under mounted warfare division.

Another year had passed and no war had been declared on the city, this gave Soahc much downtime. In this downtime he had learned he had the ability to bend spoons with his mind, and perform other minor trick using only the power of his mind. He further developed this talent into suspending his death in training when it proved too much. The king moved Soahc into the Special Ops division of the military subclass mounted warfare. Here he was able to converse with his friend Cirrus who had already been placed in these leagues. The training was much tougher here fighting opponents who had similar abilities, though Soahc proved stronger, than all and was recommended the position of general, although many guards rioted due to Soahc’s age, and ultimately did not receive the position.

Soahc had never liked nor trusted the king, and on one assignment to rid the town of homeless by force he refused. He decided he will not put up with the kings tyranny, and quit his position in the military. This was taken as the most heinous act a soldier could commit, and was sentenced to death. On day of execution an announcement was made in secrecy to Soahc, the king had told him that he was the true father of him, and that he will not be killed, but instead must live for the rest of his life within the city’s walls. Soahc remained silent during this and left promptly after his “father” was finished. A new house was built for him.

Disgusted with his father, evil, corruption, and chaotic tyrannical ways, Soahc had started an underground organization known as the Myths. This organization’s main goal was to re-establish a peaceful livelihood for the citizens of this town. Whether stealing from the treasury to help the poor, justified by the overwhelming tax rates, or building homes for the poor. Women and men alike were permitted to join this group but you could only learn of it from another member. Deception or spies were not even considered when a new member joins since everyone there is sincere and a well trusted, and well known individual of the group. Soahc’s friend Cirrus joined the organization shortly after creation, and was used as a spy for the Myths.

While strengthening his new organization, Soahc continued his training of mind and body, and served as the righteous in the presence of evil, and justice in the presence of chaos. Soahc philosophized on how to rid the world of evil, and even though he did conclude a way, he did realize he could not do it by saving this one town, leaving Cirrus in charge of the Myths.

Soahc now ventures to find a way to ultimately defeat all evil. While traveling with his only trusted companion, his mighty steed.
Mysteria
06-28-07, 07:00 AM How do you pronounce Soahc? Like Soak?

What is his personality? Bitter? Quiet? Reserved? Easily angered? Sad? Patient? Trusting? ...

Does he have any idea of how to go about ridding the world of all evil?

Do you have any idea why his 'father' (the farmer) was killed? And why did the king place him with the farmer and didn't raise him as his own?

How come it took him years to realize that the king's actually a tyrant?
Soahc
06-28-07, 07:10 AM thanks for the help.

as for the personality traits of Soahc, pronounced So-ack. they were omitted due to my own preferences.

keep it coming.
Staver
06-28-07, 09:41 AM The thing that stands out most in my mind is right at the beginning: he was born on the farm and worked around the animals his whole life, but did not start riding until the age of 15??? He should have been riding before he could walk, maybe a small goat or something, then ponies, and finally "real" horses. Maybe you could make his favorite horse a 15th birthday present, his father telling him the horse was "his" now. From that point on he only rode that horse, especially while hunting as he was on that fateful day...

Another minor sticking point in my mind is, how did word of his "combat prowess" reach the king after a year of being a castle stable boy? Did he engage in combat while mucking the royal stables? And if the king was truly his father, wouldn't he have been keeping an eye on Soahc from day one?

Have you decided who burned the family farm? Was it actually the king's men, to get Soahc away from his foster father and to the castle? That would explain why the other people would not say who did it, and why castle guards found him so quickly after the burning and took pity on him. And also related to Mysteria's questions, why did Soahc never like or trust the king? Did everybody hate the king because of the heavy taxation, and Soahc just went along with everyone else, or did he have other reasons?

-Just my :twocents: ,

Staver

EDIT: The more I think about it, the more I think that perhaps Soahc might have helped foal the horse that would later become his "mighty steed", and they kind of grew up together. That way the horse could have been the pony too (but not the goat of course :) ). Anyhow, maybe it was a particularly difficult birth, and the horse should have died (his father said so), but Soahc miraculously saved him and now cherishes him. Big problem with this much of a bond is, horses die very easily in D&D. If you are actually RP'ing Soahc, how would he deal with his favorite mount being Fireball'ed out from under him?
Fithero
06-28-07, 03:11 PM what level is the character?

I agree with Staver, the bond with the horse is cool but it needs to have begun at a much earlier age.

Also, the process in which he begins his psionic training is a bit wobbly. He just begins bending spoons then eventually turns that ability into suspending his death? Kinda weak.

You could flesh that out a bit. Im not up to date on psionic's, but perhaps he spent day after day under psionic assualt from his trainers. A crash course, sort of "get better or die" sort of deal.

Finally, whats the deal with the whole 'king is his father' thing? Did the king has his farmer dad killed, and just hope the kid would randomly wander into the military?

Good character idea, just needs to be fleshed out a bit.

Peace
Soahc
06-28-07, 05:03 PM Thanks for the input guys its helping me out alot.

horses die very easily in D&D

I've worried about this, and I was ultimately going to take a druid cohort and ride that, I was going to integrate that into the story too.

The thing that stands out most in my mind is right at the beginning: he was born on the farm and worked around the animals his whole life, but did not start riding until the age of 15??? He should have been riding before he could walk, maybe a small goat or something, then ponies, and finally "real" horses.

This is an excellent point and kinda embarrassed I had not thought about it.

Thanks for the help and keep it coming:D
OctaviusIII
06-28-07, 08:40 PM I've worried about this, and I was ultimately going to take a druid cohort and ride that, I was going to integrate that into the story too.

Make it a feat limited only to mounts: its hitdice advance with yours. I think such a thing exists already but I have no idea where. CharOp folks probably would.
Soahc
06-28-07, 11:58 PM Make it a feat limited only to mounts: its hitdice advance with yours. I think such a thing exists already but I have no idea where. CharOp folks probably would.

That's an excellent idea, I'll suggest this to my DM, and if anyone knows of such a thing please do tell
Fatalis_902
06-29-07, 07:44 AM Uh, okay, here's an important question, um, what class is he? That's the biggest thing right there. And I won't deny, you have some good ideas, but some areas need fleshing out. The biggest parts that have already been mentioned would be parts about his psionic ability, and the king noticing his combat prowess. Other things you need to work on include the part with the king. So, the king is his real father, but, as others have asked, why send him away? Even if you're going for a Star Wars feel, like the relationship between Luke and Vader, you need to figure out why he was removed from the king.
Staver
06-29-07, 09:26 AM I was going to get around to the Luke/Vader analogy eventually, and I also wanted to question whether the king really is Soahc's father or just said this for some reason.

While I'm writing anyway, I'd like to bring up two more points to help with developing this backstory. One is the use of tools other than writing, specifically in this case a map and a timeline. These can be in your head, but it would really be better to get them on paper so you can review at need and also review with your DM.

I think the map would be especially helpful, because I know I got confused between your references to "farm", "town", "city" and "castle". For example, Soahc starts on a FARM. His friend Cirrus gets drafted into the CITY military. After the farm is burned, the TOWN is silent but the CASTLE guards find and stop him leaving the town???

I think Soahc probably starts out far out into the countryside. There is a small town where the local farmers can gather to buy and sell, with an inn, etc. The kingdom of the evil king who is his father would have many such towns. I think "castle guards" should be switched to "royal guards", implying that their authority comes from the king but they are in this town acting as the local constabulary. Once the royal guard find Soahc, they would have to send him to the castle, which is probably a long way off, with some sort of note of introduction and verbal instructions as to who he is to go see upon arriving at the castle so he is not just summarily turned away as a poor farmer boy. Soahc could have a character-building encounter during such a journey, and further show his combat prowess and possibly his psionic ability.

The other point I would like to bring up is, you don't have to document every second of his life right now. Get the foundations laid, good and solid, and then feel free to go back, revise and embellish as you play him in game. You'd be surprised how much background reveals itself as you play. My own character's backstory started as two paragraphs to give him some motivation, and is currently over 26 pages, all added as the game has progressed. Things have tied together that I never saw when I first started playing him a couple of years ago.

-HTH,

Staver ;)
Soahc
06-29-07, 09:45 AM Here's a revised copy based on your comments keep it coming though. Thanks

Soahc was born a son of a farmer, he tended the fields and did most daily farming chores, but above all, his favorite was tending to the horses. When Soahc’s father finally hired help to tend the farm, Soahc had taken upon himself to be the full time stable boy. Soahc spending so much time around the horses of his father’s farm had grown an empathic bond with them. He began riding at the age of 3, goats and other small animals like dogs. He grew into ponies and eventually horses; he received his own horse when he was 15. When the live stock were threatened they were protected by Soahc on horseback, he protected the farm in this fashion, intuitively. As chores would seldom fall upon Soahc, he had more time to spend with his acquaintances and his best friend Cirrus, who had been drafted into the city’s military. Cirrus had not wished to join the military’s forces, but he “joined” under special conditions.

While hunting one day, Soahc had returned to a devastating sight. His father had been killed and farm set ablaze, animals slaughtered and some stolen. The town was silent, no one would say who did it, or under what motive. Suspicion had arose in Soahc’s head, on whether or not it was the king. The king although he was a mighty figure in his father’s eyes, was nothing more than scum in his. A man was left in his father’s bed scorched, which would assumabely be his father’s, but Soahc didn’t believe it for a second. After burying his father’s remains he decided to leave the town with the only thing left of the farm the horse he was riding. Shortly after setting leave of town he was stopped by the castle guard. The guard sympathized with Soahc and gave him the position of the castle’s stable boy. Soahc hated the thought of even being within 10ft of this castle, but realizing that he had to make a living now, it would be much more advantageous to live and work within the castles walls. Although Soahc was assigned stable boy position, he was constantly harassed my guards and officers within the walls. Soahc soon grew accustomed to this, and decided he would return the favor. Soon enough word got out about Soahc sparring with the guards, and a year later rumors of Soahc’s combat prowess reached the king, and he was placed into the city’s military under mounted warfare division. This was his choice of what division, but he was forced into participating.

Another year had passed and no war had been declared on the city, this gave Soahc much downtime. In this downtime he had learned he had the ability to bend spoons with his mind, and perform other minor trick using only the power of his mind. Cooks took notice to this and investigated after learning Soahc was the culprit, he sent the castle guard to deal with him. When the soldiers arrived they learned he was using his mind to bend these – Soahc told them without hesitation. He further developed this talent into suspending his death in training when it proved too much. This training was specially designed to test the mind’s limits, he was constantly under mental assault as well as physical. Death was always a major possibility under these conditions, and the trainers were merciless. The king moved Soahc into the Special Ops division of the military subclass mounted warfare. Here he was able to converse with his friend Cirrus who had already been placed in these leagues. The training was much tougher here fighting opponents who had similar abilities, though Soahc proved stronger, than all and was recommended the position of general, although many guards rioted due to Soahc’s age, and ultimately did not receive the position.

Soahc had never liked nor trusted the king, and on one assignment to rid the town of homeless by force he refused. He decided he will not put up with the kings tyranny, and quit his position in the military. This was taken as the most heinous act a soldier could commit, and was sentenced to death. On day of execution an announcement was made in secrecy to Soahc, the king had told him that he was the true father of him, and that he will not be killed, but instead must live for the rest of his life within the city’s walls. Soahc was confused and very scared. The man that acted as his father entered the room promptly and could only say “I’m sorry”. Soahc remained silent during this and left promptly after his “father” was finished. A new house was built for him, in the same place where the farm was originally built, past memories brought Soahc to his knees, and he remained silent the whole night.

Disgusted with his father, evil, corruption, and chaotic tyrannical ways, Soahc had started an underground organization known as the Myths. This organization’s main goal was to re-establish a peaceful livelihood for the citizens of this town. Whether stealing from the treasury to help the poor, justified by the overwhelming tax rates, or building homes for the poor. Women and men alike were permitted to join this group but you could only learn of it from another member. Deception or spies were not even considered when a new member joins since everyone there is sincere and a well trusted and well known individual of the group. Soahc’s friend Cirrus joined the organization shortly after creation, and was used as a spy for the Myths.

While strengthening his new organization, Soahc continued his training of mind and body, and served as the righteous in the presence of evil, and justice in the presence of chaos. Soahc philosophized on how to rid the world of evil, and even though he did conclude a way, he did realize he could not do it by saving this one town, leaving Cirrus in charge of the Myths.

Soahc now ventures to find a way to ultimately defeat all evil. While traveling with his only trusted companion, his mighty steed.
Staver
06-29-07, 11:00 AM See my above comments, plus this part bothers me:

"Suspicion had arose in Soahc’s head, on whether or not it was the king. The king although he was a mighty figure in his father’s eyes, was nothing more than scum in his. A man was left in his father’s bed scorched, which would assumabely be his father’s, but Soahc didn’t believe it for a second."

You are still not telling us why he hates/suspects the king so much. His father would be the one who had to deal with paying taxes and such, and his father thinks the king is a mighty figure. Why the hate? Because Cirrus got drafted? That is not reason to burn his father's farm.

-Staver
Soahc
06-29-07, 04:32 PM Any personality traits of soahc are omitted from the story due to my own preference, why he hates him isn't in there.
Mysteria
06-29-07, 05:55 PM Well, without some insights into his personality, I would classify him as unpredictable paranoid and somewhat insane. His story just makes me ask: "Why the h... would he think/do THAT?"

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Soahc 06-27-07, 08:07 PM	I'm new to making stories, especially backgrounds stories, umm, well I guess you can give me some pointers how to expand upon what I've written I do plan on going to into detail of the Myths org. and his training and his farming life. But else can I go into to depth on, maybe Soahc and Cirrus' relation ship... anyway tell me what you think and how it can be improved! Thanks Soahc’s Background Story Soahc was born a son of a farmer, he tended the fields and did most daily farming chores, but above all, his favorite was tending to the horses. When Soahc’s father finally hired help to tend the farm, Soahc had taken upon himself to be the full time stable boy. Soahc spending so much time around the horses of his fathers farm, had grown an empathic bond with them, he began riding at the age of fifteen. When the live stock were threatened they were protected by Soahc on horseback, he protected the farm in this fashion, intuitively. As chores would seldom fall upon Soahc , he had more time to spend with his acquaintances and his best friend Cirrus, who had been drafted into the city’s military. Cirrus had not wished to join the military’s forces, but he “joined” under special conditions. While hunting one day, Soahc had returned to a devastating sight. His father had been killed and farm set ablaze, animals slaughtered and some stolen. The town was silent, no one would say who did it, or under what motive. After burying his father’s remains he decided to leave the town with the only thing left of the farm the horse he was riding. Shortly after setting leave of town he was stopped by the castle guard. The guard sympathized with Soahc and gave him the position of the castle’s stable boy. A year later rumors of Soahc’s combat prowess reached the king, and he was placed into the city’s military under mounted warfare division. Another year had passed and no war had been declared on the city, this gave Soahc much downtime. In this downtime he had learned he had the ability to bend spoons with his mind, and perform other minor trick using only the power of his mind. He further developed this talent into suspending his death in training when it proved too much. The king moved Soahc into the Special Ops division of the military subclass mounted warfare. Here he was able to converse with his friend Cirrus who had already been placed in these leagues. The training was much tougher here fighting opponents who had similar abilities, though Soahc proved stronger, than all and was recommended the position of general, although many guards rioted due to Soahc’s age, and ultimately did not receive the position. Soahc had never liked nor trusted the king, and on one assignment to rid the town of homeless by force he refused. He decided he will not put up with the kings tyranny, and quit his position in the military. This was taken as the most heinous act a soldier could commit, and was sentenced to death. On day of execution an announcement was made in secrecy to Soahc, the king had told him that he was the true father of him, and that he will not be killed, but instead must live for the rest of his life within the city’s walls. Soahc remained silent during this and left promptly after his “father” was finished. A new house was built for him. Disgusted with his father, evil, corruption, and chaotic tyrannical ways, Soahc had started an underground organization known as the Myths. This organization’s main goal was to re-establish a peaceful livelihood for the citizens of this town. Whether stealing from the treasury to help the poor, justified by the overwhelming tax rates, or building homes for the poor. Women and men alike were permitted to join this group but you could only learn of it from another member. Deception or spies were not even considered when a new member joins since everyone there is sincere and a well trusted, and well known individual of the group. Soahc’s friend Cirrus joined the organization shortly after creation, and was used as a spy for the Myths. While strengthening his new organization, Soahc continued his training of mind and body, and served as the righteous in the presence of evil, and justice in the presence of chaos. Soahc philosophized on how to rid the world of evil, and even though he did conclude a way, he did realize he could not do it by saving this one town, leaving Cirrus in charge of the Myths. Soahc now ventures to find a way to ultimately defeat all evil. While traveling with his only trusted companion, his mighty steed.
Mysteria 06-28-07, 07:00 AM	How do you pronounce Soahc? Like Soak? What is his personality? Bitter? Quiet? Reserved? Easily angered? Sad? Patient? Trusting? ... Does he have any idea of how to go about ridding the world of all evil? Do you have any idea why his 'father' (the farmer) was killed? And why did the king place him with the farmer and didn't raise him as his own? How come it took him years to realize that the king's actually a tyrant?
Soahc 06-28-07, 07:10 AM	thanks for the help. as for the personality traits of Soahc, pronounced So-ack. they were omitted due to my own preferences. keep it coming.
Staver 06-28-07, 09:41 AM	The thing that stands out most in my mind is right at the beginning: he was born on the farm and worked around the animals his whole life, but did not start riding until the age of 15??? He should have been riding before he could walk, maybe a small goat or something, then ponies, and finally "real" horses. Maybe you could make his favorite horse a 15th birthday present, his father telling him the horse was "his" now. From that point on he only rode that horse, especially while hunting as he was on that fateful day... Another minor sticking point in my mind is, how did word of his "combat prowess" reach the king after a year of being a castle stable boy? Did he engage in combat while mucking the royal stables? And if the king was truly his father, wouldn't he have been keeping an eye on Soahc from day one? Have you decided who burned the family farm? Was it actually the king's men, to get Soahc away from his foster father and to the castle? That would explain why the other people would not say who did it, and why castle guards found him so quickly after the burning and took pity on him. And also related to Mysteria's questions, why did Soahc never like or trust the king? Did everybody hate the king because of the heavy taxation, and Soahc just went along with everyone else, or did he have other reasons? -Just my :twocents: , Staver EDIT: The more I think about it, the more I think that perhaps Soahc might have helped foal the horse that would later become his "mighty steed", and they kind of grew up together. That way the horse could have been the pony too (but not the goat of course :) ). Anyhow, maybe it was a particularly difficult birth, and the horse should have died (his father said so), but Soahc miraculously saved him and now cherishes him. Big problem with this much of a bond is, horses die very easily in D&D. If you are actually RP'ing Soahc, how would he deal with his favorite mount being Fireball'ed out from under him?
Fithero 06-28-07, 03:11 PM	what level is the character? I agree with Staver, the bond with the horse is cool but it needs to have begun at a much earlier age. Also, the process in which he begins his psionic training is a bit wobbly. He just begins bending spoons then eventually turns that ability into suspending his death? Kinda weak. You could flesh that out a bit. Im not up to date on psionic's, but perhaps he spent day after day under psionic assualt from his trainers. A crash course, sort of "get better or die" sort of deal. Finally, whats the deal with the whole 'king is his father' thing? Did the king has his farmer dad killed, and just hope the kid would randomly wander into the military? Good character idea, just needs to be fleshed out a bit. Peace
Soahc 06-28-07, 05:03 PM	Thanks for the input guys its helping me out alot. horses die very easily in D&D I've worried about this, and I was ultimately going to take a druid cohort and ride that, I was going to integrate that into the story too. The thing that stands out most in my mind is right at the beginning: he was born on the farm and worked around the animals his whole life, but did not start riding until the age of 15??? He should have been riding before he could walk, maybe a small goat or something, then ponies, and finally "real" horses. This is an excellent point and kinda embarrassed I had not thought about it. Thanks for the help and keep it coming:D
OctaviusIII 06-28-07, 08:40 PM	I've worried about this, and I was ultimately going to take a druid cohort and ride that, I was going to integrate that into the story too. Make it a feat limited only to mounts: its hitdice advance with yours. I think such a thing exists already but I have no idea where. CharOp folks probably would.
Soahc 06-28-07, 11:58 PM	Make it a feat limited only to mounts: its hitdice advance with yours. I think such a thing exists already but I have no idea where. CharOp folks probably would. That's an excellent idea, I'll suggest this to my DM, and if anyone knows of such a thing please do tell
Fatalis_902 06-29-07, 07:44 AM	Uh, okay, here's an important question, um, what class is he? That's the biggest thing right there. And I won't deny, you have some good ideas, but some areas need fleshing out. The biggest parts that have already been mentioned would be parts about his psionic ability, and the king noticing his combat prowess. Other things you need to work on include the part with the king. So, the king is his real father, but, as others have asked, why send him away? Even if you're going for a Star Wars feel, like the relationship between Luke and Vader, you need to figure out why he was removed from the king.
Staver 06-29-07, 09:26 AM	I was going to get around to the Luke/Vader analogy eventually, and I also wanted to question whether the king really is Soahc's father or just said this for some reason. While I'm writing anyway, I'd like to bring up two more points to help with developing this backstory. One is the use of tools other than writing, specifically in this case a map and a timeline. These can be in your head, but it would really be better to get them on paper so you can review at need and also review with your DM. I think the map would be especially helpful, because I know I got confused between your references to "farm", "town", "city" and "castle". For example, Soahc starts on a FARM. His friend Cirrus gets drafted into the CITY military. After the farm is burned, the TOWN is silent but the CASTLE guards find and stop him leaving the town??? I think Soahc probably starts out far out into the countryside. There is a small town where the local farmers can gather to buy and sell, with an inn, etc. The kingdom of the evil king who is his father would have many such towns. I think "castle guards" should be switched to "royal guards", implying that their authority comes from the king but they are in this town acting as the local constabulary. Once the royal guard find Soahc, they would have to send him to the castle, which is probably a long way off, with some sort of note of introduction and verbal instructions as to who he is to go see upon arriving at the castle so he is not just summarily turned away as a poor farmer boy. Soahc could have a character-building encounter during such a journey, and further show his combat prowess and possibly his psionic ability. The other point I would like to bring up is, you don't have to document every second of his life right now. Get the foundations laid, good and solid, and then feel free to go back, revise and embellish as you play him in game. You'd be surprised how much background reveals itself as you play. My own character's backstory started as two paragraphs to give him some motivation, and is currently over 26 pages, all added as the game has progressed. Things have tied together that I never saw when I first started playing him a couple of years ago. -HTH, Staver ;)
Soahc 06-29-07, 09:45 AM	Here's a revised copy based on your comments keep it coming though. Thanks Soahc was born a son of a farmer, he tended the fields and did most daily farming chores, but above all, his favorite was tending to the horses. When Soahc’s father finally hired help to tend the farm, Soahc had taken upon himself to be the full time stable boy. Soahc spending so much time around the horses of his father’s farm had grown an empathic bond with them. He began riding at the age of 3, goats and other small animals like dogs. He grew into ponies and eventually horses; he received his own horse when he was 15. When the live stock were threatened they were protected by Soahc on horseback, he protected the farm in this fashion, intuitively. As chores would seldom fall upon Soahc, he had more time to spend with his acquaintances and his best friend Cirrus, who had been drafted into the city’s military. Cirrus had not wished to join the military’s forces, but he “joined” under special conditions. While hunting one day, Soahc had returned to a devastating sight. His father had been killed and farm set ablaze, animals slaughtered and some stolen. The town was silent, no one would say who did it, or under what motive. Suspicion had arose in Soahc’s head, on whether or not it was the king. The king although he was a mighty figure in his father’s eyes, was nothing more than scum in his. A man was left in his father’s bed scorched, which would assumabely be his father’s, but Soahc didn’t believe it for a second. After burying his father’s remains he decided to leave the town with the only thing left of the farm the horse he was riding. Shortly after setting leave of town he was stopped by the castle guard. The guard sympathized with Soahc and gave him the position of the castle’s stable boy. Soahc hated the thought of even being within 10ft of this castle, but realizing that he had to make a living now, it would be much more advantageous to live and work within the castles walls. Although Soahc was assigned stable boy position, he was constantly harassed my guards and officers within the walls. Soahc soon grew accustomed to this, and decided he would return the favor. Soon enough word got out about Soahc sparring with the guards, and a year later rumors of Soahc’s combat prowess reached the king, and he was placed into the city’s military under mounted warfare division. This was his choice of what division, but he was forced into participating. Another year had passed and no war had been declared on the city, this gave Soahc much downtime. In this downtime he had learned he had the ability to bend spoons with his mind, and perform other minor trick using only the power of his mind. Cooks took notice to this and investigated after learning Soahc was the culprit, he sent the castle guard to deal with him. When the soldiers arrived they learned he was using his mind to bend these – Soahc told them without hesitation. He further developed this talent into suspending his death in training when it proved too much. This training was specially designed to test the mind’s limits, he was constantly under mental assault as well as physical. Death was always a major possibility under these conditions, and the trainers were merciless. The king moved Soahc into the Special Ops division of the military subclass mounted warfare. Here he was able to converse with his friend Cirrus who had already been placed in these leagues. The training was much tougher here fighting opponents who had similar abilities, though Soahc proved stronger, than all and was recommended the position of general, although many guards rioted due to Soahc’s age, and ultimately did not receive the position. Soahc had never liked nor trusted the king, and on one assignment to rid the town of homeless by force he refused. He decided he will not put up with the kings tyranny, and quit his position in the military. This was taken as the most heinous act a soldier could commit, and was sentenced to death. On day of execution an announcement was made in secrecy to Soahc, the king had told him that he was the true father of him, and that he will not be killed, but instead must live for the rest of his life within the city’s walls. Soahc was confused and very scared. The man that acted as his father entered the room promptly and could only say “I’m sorry”. Soahc remained silent during this and left promptly after his “father” was finished. A new house was built for him, in the same place where the farm was originally built, past memories brought Soahc to his knees, and he remained silent the whole night. Disgusted with his father, evil, corruption, and chaotic tyrannical ways, Soahc had started an underground organization known as the Myths. This organization’s main goal was to re-establish a peaceful livelihood for the citizens of this town. Whether stealing from the treasury to help the poor, justified by the overwhelming tax rates, or building homes for the poor. Women and men alike were permitted to join this group but you could only learn of it from another member. Deception or spies were not even considered when a new member joins since everyone there is sincere and a well trusted and well known individual of the group. Soahc’s friend Cirrus joined the organization shortly after creation, and was used as a spy for the Myths. While strengthening his new organization, Soahc continued his training of mind and body, and served as the righteous in the presence of evil, and justice in the presence of chaos. Soahc philosophized on how to rid the world of evil, and even though he did conclude a way, he did realize he could not do it by saving this one town, leaving Cirrus in charge of the Myths. Soahc now ventures to find a way to ultimately defeat all evil. While traveling with his only trusted companion, his mighty steed.
Staver 06-29-07, 11:00 AM	See my above comments, plus this part bothers me: "Suspicion had arose in Soahc’s head, on whether or not it was the king. The king although he was a mighty figure in his father’s eyes, was nothing more than scum in his. A man was left in his father’s bed scorched, which would assumabely be his father’s, but Soahc didn’t believe it for a second." You are still not telling us why he hates/suspects the king so much. His father would be the one who had to deal with paying taxes and such, and his father thinks the king is a mighty figure. Why the hate? Because Cirrus got drafted? That is not reason to burn his father's farm. -Staver
Soahc 06-29-07, 04:32 PM	Any personality traits of soahc are omitted from the story due to my own preference, why he hates him isn't in there.
Mysteria 06-29-07, 05:55 PM	Well, without some insights into his personality, I would classify him as unpredictable paranoid and somewhat insane. His story just makes me ask: "Why the h... would he think/do THAT?"