My Backstory - Critique please [Archive] - Wizards Community

My Backstory - Critique please [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Azezel
11-17-06, 04:55 PM As a child, Galatea Luceo was infamous amongst her family and her peers, for her fragile temper and destructive rage. She was prone to heedles and violent anger at small slights. She would smash objects, strike people and curse all within range. And she suffered for it. As did those around her. This was an unhappy time, for though Galatea did truly repent what she did in her anger, she nevertheles, would do it again each time her temper was aroused.

By rumour and gossip, word of this furious Elf came to a traveling priest of the Fire Goddess Joramy, who investigated and saw in her potential, sadly wasted. He spoke to Galatea, and to her family, telling them of a place where she might go. A place where her fury would be a thing respected by others, but where she might nevertheles, learn to master it for a grander purpose.

Taken to the Abbey of the Last Ember Galatea became a Novice of that organisation. She did indeed find that she was praised for the feats of rage she performed. More than this though, she was introduced to the subtle and insideous medetative techniques the nuns had perfected to forge raw anger into a powerful source of inner strength.

Of the several paths practiced by the sisters, Galatea, who was possessed of some wit when of sound mind, was inducted into the path of Alchemy. She rapidly found, as others before her had, that alchemical operations do not always proceed as planned, but that one who looses her composure when this happens, suffers for it.

After a few explosions, chemical burns and exposures to toxic gas, even the wildest of Alchemists learns to suppres her fury. Galatea was no exception, even if it took slightly longer than some for her to do so.

This part of her training progressing, Galatea was introduced to the second part of the Last Ember's programme. Her anger, was great, and powerful, as any gift of a deity is like to be, and she learned to use it, rather than waste it. She learned to direct the fury that collected in her soul. She learned that it could give her strength, and drive. (My character has access to the Wrath domain (Spell Compendium) which grants the power to boost Strength at the expense of Wisdom)

In time, Galatea proved so adept that she was allowed to learn the Final Art of the Sisters of the Last Ember, the 'Fires of Joramy', an art few ever attempt, let alone master. Galatea learned to give life to her rage as flame, conjoured at will from the raw stuff of anger. (She is the Variant Cleric from the PHB II - and can spontaniously swap prepaired spells for spells from the Fire Domain, the other Cleric in the party is a normal Cleric, so I want a back-story reason for this special power)

The ways of the Sisters are truly eficatious. To those who knew Galatea fifty years ago, she would be nigh unrecognisable today as the serene, contemplative sister she has become.

Rarely does an Elf have both the wild temper needed to power the Fires of Joramy, and the dedication and dedication needed to master this Final Art, so Galatea found herself in an unusual situation. Those few of her sisters who had mastered the Fires were after the decades needed, old women, powerful and dangerous, but frail too. Galatea had, to their eyes, barely aged a day.

Galatea created her own solution. She begged leave of her Mother Superior to take her holy vows as a Preistess of Joramy, and thence to travel in the greater world, where the miriad influences of all things would give her more material to forge within herself than she could ever need.

In such a way did she come to the town of Crescent Bay(Place where the campaign is set - it is the only real town on a newly collonised continent) , where all the negative things to be found in any urban place would be magnified a hundredfold in people uprooted from their homelands and exposed to the hardships of a new land.

Well, what do you think? Please critique...
LiXinjian
11-17-06, 11:17 PM Well, it does a thorough job of explaining your character's powers, and gives some hints as to what motivates her. That's a good background *you* can use.

However, there is precious little for your DM to toy with, should he decide to reach into your past to custom-tailor his campaign (or at least an aspect of it) to your character.

If such a prospect is of no interest to you, then you have enough of a background to adequately portray your character.

On the other hand, if you wish to have a few adventures centered around your character (assuming your DM is the kind of DM who'd do that), then you'll need to add a little conflict to your past, unresolved issues if you will. As it is, your background is an open-and-shut window into your character's past, but you need to let it open a bit for your DM to wriggle some plot in. Perhaps a bitter rivalry between Galatea and another young priestess? Perhaps a mysterious meeting that had dire consequences for your character and/or her family and/or her schoolmates? Any issue that has yet to be resolved, any issue that is still tormenting your character will provide fuel for your DM's imagination.
Azezel
11-18-06, 04:08 AM Hhm...

You are right.

Thus far in the campaign, my DM has not chosen to use any character's backstory as a source of plot hooks, but that is not an excuse for lazynes on my part.

Off the top of my head it occurs to me that any rivalry which might exist between Galatea and her ssters would be in the heart of an old Priestess. One who has spent as long as Galatea in developing her powers and is jealous of her continued youth...

I wonder if it would not be better to say that, instead of leaving voluntarilly, she was forced to do so by a clique of rivals.

The difficulty is that the game takes place on a newly collonised continent six months sea-journey from the 'old world', so it is difficult for any but the most serriously devoted antagonist to interfere with her here.
LiXinjian
11-18-06, 04:53 AM The difficulty is that the game takes place on a newly collonised continent six months sea-journey from the 'old world', so it is difficult for any but the most serriously devoted antagonist to interfere with her here.

That's where the DM steps in. *Your* job is to give him something to work with, not provide the exact plot. You want to light a spark that will prompt him to use your background. So that's why you want interesting hooks in your backstory.

Besides, it's quite easy to justify the presence of your antagonists on that new continent if the DM wills it.

For instance, maybe the old priestess and some of the other clique members were disgraced a few months after Galatea left? Their plotting was exposed, and they were exiled, banished. They too found their way to the new continent, where they were astonished to discover somehow, without your character's knowledge, that Galatea was there already. Thus they begin plotting again her downfall, this time out or jealousy and revenge.

Or the clique took control of the Joramy tribe, and have resolved to capture Galatea because the fire of jealousy is still burning bright in their hearts. Banishing you from the tribe wasn't enough, now that they could be exploiting and analysing your gift. They begin sending agents to the new continent to locate her, and then those agents outright try to capture her.

I don't want to give you anymore ideas on how your old nemesis could still be active even 6 months from your hometown (don't forget Teleportation and similar magic make travel time irrelevant in a fantasy setting), because I don't want to accidentally spoil your fun in case your DM comes up with the very same ideas, but you get the picture. Just focus on leaving some loose ends (more the better), and see what he makes of it. Perhaps he'll disregard those hooks completely because that's not his style, but that won't be your fault.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Azezel 11-17-06, 04:55 PM	As a child, Galatea Luceo was infamous amongst her family and her peers, for her fragile temper and destructive rage. She was prone to heedles and violent anger at small slights. She would smash objects, strike people and curse all within range. And she suffered for it. As did those around her. This was an unhappy time, for though Galatea did truly repent what she did in her anger, she nevertheles, would do it again each time her temper was aroused. By rumour and gossip, word of this furious Elf came to a traveling priest of the Fire Goddess Joramy, who investigated and saw in her potential, sadly wasted. He spoke to Galatea, and to her family, telling them of a place where she might go. A place where her fury would be a thing respected by others, but where she might nevertheles, learn to master it for a grander purpose. Taken to the Abbey of the Last Ember Galatea became a Novice of that organisation. She did indeed find that she was praised for the feats of rage she performed. More than this though, she was introduced to the subtle and insideous medetative techniques the nuns had perfected to forge raw anger into a powerful source of inner strength. Of the several paths practiced by the sisters, Galatea, who was possessed of some wit when of sound mind, was inducted into the path of Alchemy. She rapidly found, as others before her had, that alchemical operations do not always proceed as planned, but that one who looses her composure when this happens, suffers for it. After a few explosions, chemical burns and exposures to toxic gas, even the wildest of Alchemists learns to suppres her fury. Galatea was no exception, even if it took slightly longer than some for her to do so. This part of her training progressing, Galatea was introduced to the second part of the Last Ember's programme. Her anger, was great, and powerful, as any gift of a deity is like to be, and she learned to use it, rather than waste it. She learned to direct the fury that collected in her soul. She learned that it could give her strength, and drive. (My character has access to the Wrath domain (Spell Compendium) which grants the power to boost Strength at the expense of Wisdom) In time, Galatea proved so adept that she was allowed to learn the Final Art of the Sisters of the Last Ember, the 'Fires of Joramy', an art few ever attempt, let alone master. Galatea learned to give life to her rage as flame, conjoured at will from the raw stuff of anger. (She is the Variant Cleric from the PHB II - and can spontaniously swap prepaired spells for spells from the Fire Domain, the other Cleric in the party is a normal Cleric, so I want a back-story reason for this special power) The ways of the Sisters are truly eficatious. To those who knew Galatea fifty years ago, she would be nigh unrecognisable today as the serene, contemplative sister she has become. Rarely does an Elf have both the wild temper needed to power the Fires of Joramy, and the dedication and dedication needed to master this Final Art, so Galatea found herself in an unusual situation. Those few of her sisters who had mastered the Fires were after the decades needed, old women, powerful and dangerous, but frail too. Galatea had, to their eyes, barely aged a day. Galatea created her own solution. She begged leave of her Mother Superior to take her holy vows as a Preistess of Joramy, and thence to travel in the greater world, where the miriad influences of all things would give her more material to forge within herself than she could ever need. In such a way did she come to the town of Crescent Bay(Place where the campaign is set - it is the only real town on a newly collonised continent) , where all the negative things to be found in any urban place would be magnified a hundredfold in people uprooted from their homelands and exposed to the hardships of a new land. Well, what do you think? Please critique...
LiXinjian 11-17-06, 11:17 PM	Well, it does a thorough job of explaining your character's powers, and gives some hints as to what motivates her. That's a good background you can use. However, there is precious little for your DM to toy with, should he decide to reach into your past to custom-tailor his campaign (or at least an aspect of it) to your character. If such a prospect is of no interest to you, then you have enough of a background to adequately portray your character. On the other hand, if you wish to have a few adventures centered around your character (assuming your DM is the kind of DM who'd do that), then you'll need to add a little conflict to your past, unresolved issues if you will. As it is, your background is an open-and-shut window into your character's past, but you need to let it open a bit for your DM to wriggle some plot in. Perhaps a bitter rivalry between Galatea and another young priestess? Perhaps a mysterious meeting that had dire consequences for your character and/or her family and/or her schoolmates? Any issue that has yet to be resolved, any issue that is still tormenting your character will provide fuel for your DM's imagination.
Azezel 11-18-06, 04:08 AM	Hhm... You are right. Thus far in the campaign, my DM has not chosen to use any character's backstory as a source of plot hooks, but that is not an excuse for lazynes on my part. Off the top of my head it occurs to me that any rivalry which might exist between Galatea and her ssters would be in the heart of an old Priestess. One who has spent as long as Galatea in developing her powers and is jealous of her continued youth... I wonder if it would not be better to say that, instead of leaving voluntarilly, she was forced to do so by a clique of rivals. The difficulty is that the game takes place on a newly collonised continent six months sea-journey from the 'old world', so it is difficult for any but the most serriously devoted antagonist to interfere with her here.
LiXinjian 11-18-06, 04:53 AM	The difficulty is that the game takes place on a newly collonised continent six months sea-journey from the 'old world', so it is difficult for any but the most serriously devoted antagonist to interfere with her here. That's where the DM steps in. Your job is to give him something to work with, not provide the exact plot. You want to light a spark that will prompt him to use your background. So that's why you want interesting hooks in your backstory. Besides, it's quite easy to justify the presence of your antagonists on that new continent if the DM wills it. For instance, maybe the old priestess and some of the other clique members were disgraced a few months after Galatea left? Their plotting was exposed, and they were exiled, banished. They too found their way to the new continent, where they were astonished to discover somehow, without your character's knowledge, that Galatea was there already. Thus they begin plotting again her downfall, this time out or jealousy and revenge. Or the clique took control of the Joramy tribe, and have resolved to capture Galatea because the fire of jealousy is still burning bright in their hearts. Banishing you from the tribe wasn't enough, now that they could be exploiting and analysing your gift. They begin sending agents to the new continent to locate her, and then those agents outright try to capture her. I don't want to give you anymore ideas on how your old nemesis could still be active even 6 months from your hometown (don't forget Teleportation and similar magic make travel time irrelevant in a fantasy setting), because I don't want to accidentally spoil your fun in case your DM comes up with the very same ideas, but you get the picture. Just focus on leaving some loose ends (more the better), and see what he makes of it. Perhaps he'll disregard those hooks completely because that's not his style, but that won't be your fault.