Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Ranger_ORB 10-04-05, 06:57 PM	Eldorin Eldorin was a child when he was told he was going to be a paladin, He readily accepted and went into training. When he reached the age of 13 he was traveling with his mentor when an unknown demon “cursed” him to have silver hair and gold eyes. The curse was meant for him to be able to be picked out by demons. After that happened he had heard that his family had gotten the same curse along with him, now he knows that they were all killed by a demon with the name Kilonathó. He is now on a quest to find and destroy all demons on the planet. After that he worked with his mentor for a while longer and became a paladin himself. His mentor gave him the equipment he has as a parting gift. He, along with his silver hair and golden eyes, has gotten the symbol of Heironeous on his left forearm and a symbol of Pelor on his right. He has a scar going down his left thigh from a training match with another novice, that novice is now a Blackguard under the name Algothan. He also has a tattoo of an angel, a Solar, on his back, his mentor was once visited by a Solar and Eldorin was present at that time, so he got to meet the Solar. Eldorin is a quiet thoughtful person that gets lost in thought at sometimes crucial times. He believes that no matter how stacked the odds are against good, that good will always triumph. His motto is “The light shines brightest when surrounded by darkness!” If he thinks someone is evil he will use his ability to see if they are, but if he has no reason to he will not use Detect Evil. He believes that if he uses it with no reason of suspecting them he is invading their privacy. The goals for his future is to, First find and kill Kilonathó and Algothan, but his most important goal is to help the innocent and rid the world of evil. ________________________________________ _________________________ (For eveyone that read my other post I am not going Half-Fiend Paladin anymore)
Pagan Saint 10-04-05, 08:56 PM	It's a pretty good story, but there are just a few things I would change/add. 1) You should talk about his childhood. You begin when Eldorin is thirteen, and just beginning his paladin training. Think about why he is training to be a paladin. Is it a family tradition, or is he the first to break the mold? And what kind of family does Eldorin come from? Are they wealthy nobles who can pay for the best for their son, or does he come from a poor peasant family, and is only able to become a paladin because his mentor-to-be saw skill in him and is training him for free? 2) Eldorin's appearance is slightly cliche. Gold and silver? Maybe it's just me, but if I were a paladin, I would look on that as a blessing. I do like the idea of the demonic curse, but perhaps he attained his unusual appearance elsewhere. One possible solution is that his family has an ancient celestial ancestor (whether or not you wish to take the celestial bloodline in Unearthed Arcana, thid would still be pretty cool). Or maybe the solar (who should have a name) blessed him with his looks. 3) I like the idea of Eldorin having grudges to settle with some demons, but check with your DM to make sure it's okay, and that he/she is willing to incorporate your ideas into her campaign. After all, if Eldorin ever wants to defeat his demonic foes, your DM will have to run an encounter for this conflict. Overall, great. Just expand a bit on Eldorin's childhood, and you'll have a fantastic backstory.
Ranger_ORB 10-04-05, 09:07 PM	Ok, will update it in 5-10 minutes
Ranger_ORB 10-04-05, 09:32 PM	Eldorin Eldorin came from a line of clerics, clerics of Pelor. After he was born he was expected to be a cleric just like the rest of his family. His family was a middle class, but they had enough money to get along. He has two brothers and one sister, Eldorin is the oldest of the kids. Eldorin was a child when he was told he was going to be a paladin, He readily accepted and went into training. At the age of 9 he was sent into training with the Paladin Rignoren, luckily when Rignoren first saw Eldorin he saw a special talent in him and immediately wanted him to be his apprentice. When he reached the age of 13 he was traveling with his mentor when an unknown demon cursed him to have Blue hair and glowing orange eyes, also he smelt of brimstone, and he had a rune of seeking on his back. The curse was meant for him to be able to be picked out by demons. After that happened he had heard that his family had gotten the same curse along with him, now he knows that they were all killed by a demon with the name Kilonathó. He is now on a quest to find and destroy all demons in his path. After that he worked with his mentor for a while longer and became a paladin himself. His mentor gave him the equipment he has as a parting gift. He has gotten the symbol of Heironeous on his left forearm and a symbol of Pelor on his right. He has a scar going down his left thigh from a training match with another novice, that novice is now a Blackguard under the name Algothan. His mentor was once visited by a Solar and Eldorin was present at that time, so he got to meet the Solar. The Solar then blessed his cursed blue hair and glowing orange eyes into silver hair and gold eyes; he also removed the brimstone smell and replaced it with a normal human smell, if not a little heavenly. The Solar then covered the Rune of Seeking by placing a tatoo of a Solar over it. Eldorin is a quiet thoughtful person that gets lost in thought at sometimes crucial times. He believes that no matter how stacked the odds are against good, that good will always triumph. His motto is “The light shines brightest when surrounded by darkness!” If he thinks someone is evil he will use his ability to see if they are, but if he has no reason to he will not use Detect Evil. He believes that if he uses it with no reason of suspecting them he is invading their privacy. The goals for his future is to, First find and kill Kilonathó and Algothan, but his most important goal is to help the innocent and rid the world of evil.
interpretivechaos 10-04-05, 11:06 PM	Just a comment- you keep changing the curse, but might I suggest another variant. The original curse- holy looking celestial The curse as is-Tiefling Something really unstereotypical (Blue hair, Maroon eyes) would seem more like a targeting curse. Since the curse is removed now, you could go even more exotic (Glowing wriggling green hair and glowing green eyes) Even, if you want to, drop the appearance changing curse in that manner (as it is seeming a little odd) and make it into a rune or a best a radical disfigurement. Then the Solar could remove it (Maybe thats where the solars tattoo came in, to cover the rune of seeking) and or remake his face for him (If say his face was completely shriveled by the curse) As for that, I like the background. I personally would go into more detail, but I have a bad habbit of going too long in backgrounds and turning them into 3 page long stories, which may or may not be what your DM wants. It's a trade off for conciseness with a greater feel of your characters background.
Setherial 10-05-05, 06:16 AM	1) one does not train to be a Paladin, a templar or cruisader knight/knight of the church sure but becomming a Paladin is a divine gift bestowed upon a few among many knights by their God. 2) could be he comes from a long line of Paladins, all blessed by their God. As such, expectations are high and the boy trains hard to become a noble knight like his father and grandfather before him hoping one day he to will be blessed as well. This emphesises the demonic taint that spreads through his vains when one night he is visited by a demon who bestows a terrible curse upon him warping the body of the boy and reshaping it into his own image. The boy grows horns, fangs, his skin darken and eyes become dark black pits, hair covers his body and over the course of a few months he looks more and more bestial. The boy is exiled from the church and his family turn their back to him as well. All his dreams of becoming a holy knight are crushed and his faith in both god and family are being severly tested. Now a new road lies ahead of him, one that leads to revenge. He'll need to find whomever is responsible for his horrible fate. this is way less cliche and it has good grounds for adventuring, he is an outcast trying to find a reason for all of it. The demon has a good motive too, he takes revenge upon a long line of paladins responsible for stopping his plans too many times, and this in a most disgusting way. Making the family turn on itself and ending the line of paladins by using their own fear for the unknown. The curse might not have affected a paladin, but a boy with the potential of becomming one is most vulnerable.
Pagan Saint 10-05-05, 04:07 PM	1) one does not train to be a Paladin, a templar or cruisader knight/knight of the church sure but becomming a Paladin is a divine gift bestowed upon a few among many knights by their God. I'm not sure where you got this idea, because the Player's Handbook says nothing about a lack of paladin training. It does say that paladins are protected by divine power, but this represents their abilities, such as aura of good, divine grace and lay on hands. Deities of goodness and honor also give the paladin his spells and smite evil, but is a simple assumption that deities do not simply grant the paladin his combat talent, otherwise why wouldn't a cleric (or for that matter, any devout character) have the same combat talents of a paladin. A paladin probably underoges similar training to that of a fighter, but with religious elements added. Eldorin could still have recieved training. 2) could be he comes from a long line of Paladins, all blessed by their God. As such, expectations are high and the boy trains hard to become a noble knight like his father and grandfather before him hoping one day he to will be blessed as well. This emphesises the demonic taint that spreads through his vains when one night he is visited by a demon who bestows a terrible curse upon him warping the body of the boy and reshaping it into his own image. The boy grows horns, fangs, his skin darken and eyes become dark black pits, hair covers his body and over the course of a few months he looks more and more bestial. The boy is exiled from the church and his family turn their back to him as well. All his dreams of becoming a holy knight are crushed and his faith in both god and family are being severly tested. Now a new road lies ahead of him, one that leads to revenge. He'll need to find whomever is responsible for his horrible fate. This is way less cliche and it has good grounds for adventuring, he is an outcast trying to find a reason for all of it. The demon has a good motive too, he takes revenge upon a long line of paladins responsible for stopping his plans too many times, and this in a most disgusting way. Making the family turn on itself and ending the line of paladins by using their own fear for the unknown. The curse might not have affected a paladin, but a boy with the potential of becomming one is most vulnerable. I do like this idea, though you may not want to play a revenge-obsessed paladin, as that too could be rather cliche. Though if the curse is going to be removed, you can be as exotic or outlandish as you like (ie snake hair, flaming red eyes or even claws and a tail). Also, on this point, his family would not cast Eldorin out, because they had recieved the same curse as him. But perhaps his family is cast out of their home by rioting mobs and then killed in the wilderness by the demon. Great work on the updated backstory! I really liked it, and think that it'd fine to use in a campaign. Nice work. :)
psudodevil 10-05-05, 04:13 PM	The boy grows horns, fangs, his skin darken and eyes become dark black pits, hair covers his body and over the course of a few months he looks more and more bestial. The boy is exiled from the church and his family turn their back to him as well. All his dreams of becoming a holy knight are crushed and his faith in both god and family are being severly tested. Now a new road lies ahead of him, one that leads to revenge. He'll need to find whomever is responsible for his horrible fate. Why would his church exile him? He may look like a demon, but these are clerics of Pelor we're talking about, not clerics of Heronious! They could just cast some spell to break the curse. Also, a knowledge (the planes) check reveals that one does not simply turn into a demon. I find that the clerics would have no reason to exile him. They would at least try detect evil, or a similar spell first. Maybe the demon changed his emotions with the spell, or maybe just cast undetectable alignment. I do like the idea of him turning into a demon, there are just too many statistical flaws with your idea. Also, why would a solar turn the paladin all celestial. That would make him just as big a target as if he was "marked."
Setherial 10-06-05, 02:46 AM	Hey guys, My view on Paladins and take on the story is as you pointed out more a personal point of view then anything else. Also he doesn't really turn into a demon, inside he is still the same, it's just his appearance that changes. In traditional Dnd terms this might not mean much as a fellow paladin would just cast detect evil to see through the facade and have a cleric remove the curse, all very simple. In real midieval life, people would flee at the sight of something they viewed as monsterous and the church would be very quick to point a finger and scream demon. I guess personally I try to step away from simple game mechanics and play a fantasy world were most people are commoners who fear what they don't understand, were clerics and Paladins are rare and special (like in Eberron, which I play). In my take on the story the young Eldorin would not yet have become a paladin, besides his horrific appearance would make a very crappy paladin in game terms. His training made him into a fighter or a warrior at least and he is the innocent that was cast out for all the wrong reasons. Wether this leads him to evil or good is up to the player and it should unfold during the campaign. It's what makes playing him fun. If it is his entire family that is cursed then they might have been exiled all together and our hero might try to redeem his family name. Although it makes, in my opinion, the story less dramatic. Another possibility even is that he is exiled at very young age because of the curse, for years he lives in the woods almost like an animal. He starts to fear people and blocks out the pain of his past. One day a Paladin (of another God) discovers the boy, the boy attacks him on sight but the noble warrior easely disarms the boy and subdues him. The Paladin senses the good in the beast before him and takes it upon him to befriend the boy. After months of distrust the boy slowly turns and the two become friends. The Paladin trains the boy and years later the two still ride together, now both as Paladins. Eldorin (Male, Monsterous Humanoid, Lvl 1 Barbarian, Lvl 2 Paladin) Lord Borric d'Etura (Male, Human, Lvl 10 Paladin)