My character History[please critque] [Archive] - Wizards Community

My character History[please critque] [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Jolly Josh
09-05-05, 10:15 PM They say it’s nigh impossible to escape the planar borders of Athas. Tell that to a planewalker stuck there and you find that impossibilities become possibles. Meridemon Ghostwalker was a planewalker, weathered to the bone from the harsh tortures of the endless planes he traveled. His quests were of pure profit and self-serving purposes, usually hired as a planar guide to far off hidden layers of unknown deities. His final expedition lead him to a fiery plane of silt and sand, sun and fire, and wasted civilizations. The travelers he help return to there world of Athas failed to tell him of the difficult nature of leaving the plane and he soon discovered his doom. On first attempt to activate an item of planar travel the effects seemed to fizzle. He angerly attempted the process over and over again until it succeeded. Finally when the item activated he was pulled almost sideways into a grey nothingness. The grey squeezed him immensely as he felt his life essence slowing leaking from him. He tried desperately to shift again and seemingly thrust himself deep into the heart of grey. Days passed him by, growing weaker by the moment, still, as quickly as his abilities and items would activate he attempted to shift. Finally as he felt the grey squeezing the last ounce of life from his body he chose to shift back to the plane of silt, sand, dust, and sun. He though that was his end.

Images of skeletal dragons and slavery in a barren wasteland filled Meridemon’s dreams which seemed to last years on end. At last Meridemon awoke from what seemed to be his eternal damnation. When he first glanced at his surrounding, he noticed the high archway doors and oversized bowls beside his bed. Then he looked to his arms and body, it looked as though a terrible disease had ravaged his body for years. Trying to sit up, he cringes and coughs up a spot of blood and falls back to his bed unconscious. The next time he awoke, to his surprise, a rather tall woman sits over him washing his emaciated body.

She smiles with a caring look and says, “You have been sleeping for many weeks now, I thought I was going to have to give up on you.”
“You are most kind, I’m sure the buzzards would have picked my bones clean for sure if not for your help.”
“You still need your rest, traveler. We’ll talk later.”

Meridemon soon discovered he was living with a caring half-giant woman by the name of Luckgiver, a former slave of the city state of Tyr. She lived in the mountain range just northwest of the city. After Meridemon became able to walk and move around again he explored the community. He learned of the harsh nature of Athas and of the tyrannical god-kings that ran the city states.

Meridemon and Luckgiver fell in love over the next year and consummated there bond with a child, Luckmauler. The family lived in harmony for years until Dregoth, the undead skeleton king, attacked there community, killing the men, and slaving the women and children for some evil rites to increase his ever lustful defiling powers. Meridemon fell in battle protecting his wife and son, with his dying breathe, he Luckgiver, to give his amulet to Luckmauler when he became of age. Luckmauler, only 4 at the time, barely understood what happened to his father, but he understood his new life of servitude for the next 10 years of his life. Dregoth had the slaves building a massive unholy temple to channel evil magic. Dregoth’s corrupt magic even creped into the slaves, deforming them, changing them, corrupting them. Luckgiver now twisted and scarred, approach her son on the eve of his 14th birthday, “I don’t have much to give you Luckmauler, but your father had a dying wish, to wait until you were of age, to give you this.” She pulled out an amulet, “a wise man in the slave quarters said it contains magic, his eyes have been lusting for it. I thought I should give it to you before I find it stolen.” Luckmauler took the item and wore it always.

The corrupting magic of Dregoth started to take a hold of Luckmauler as well. His eyes dark and his dark skin turned a shade grey. His long black hair began to straighten and sheen. Soon dark dreams of horrible magic and sacrifice filled his nights.

A stranger in the slave camp witnessed Luckmauler’s nightly torments. He showed him a why to focus his mind and take control of his thoughts and also showed him how to harness the corrupted magic that flowed through the air.

The two became quick friends, they distracted there minds from the brutal labors of the day with psionic focus and at night they plotted with others on a rebellion. The rebellion was short lived. The power of Dregoth was far reaching; one weak mind leaked the rebel plot to the dark lich. The slaughter was almost immediate.

Dregoth visited the camp directly, slaughtering every slave, handfuls at a time, reaching for the amulet, Luckmauler managed to activate its powers almost immediately.

Now Luckmauler lay in a field, the grass is green; the air smells of spring and fruit. The suns rays feel energizing, not demoralizing. He is in a new land through the power of the amulet… the amulet is gone he noticed. He curses for a moment and stands. He begins to walk to over to a hill top. As far as the eye can see, there are hills, trees, farms, all blooming with life. But he feels compelled to turn around, almost scarred too, fearing this is a dream and Dregoth is but right behind him. He turns his head oh so slowly to reveal not Dregoth, but something equally frightening and awe inspiring all at the same time, a tree as tall and as wide as the eye can see. Worlds and cities and all of Athas could have fit on each of its tiniest limbs. Luckmauler smiled as he fell on his back side and stared in wonder at his new life.
Fithero
09-06-05, 03:42 AM Awsome.... just... awsome.

That is a really cool character, i like the whole "jump to another plane" at the beginning of the adventurer idea. Very cool.

I once had a Planar human who was a foward scout (was actually a fighter) for his people because his plane was about to collapse...very good character to play. Even the simplest things became interesting for him, night never existed on his plane. So the first time the sun set he nearly died....hehe.

As i said, its a cool character, more info on his personallity would be good too.

Later
bobothehobo8
09-09-05, 01:41 AM Critique..eh...?

It is kind of a stretch on the imagination. I'm part of the camp that thinks mixing settings is bad mojo. But this is between you and your DM.

I hope this game is starting at a high level...because that doesn't seem like anything a level 1 character could do.

Very creative though.

Like Fithero said, more personality. The history section is done, but what about the character himself? New goals in this land? Outlook on life? How will he fit in to this new land (which oddly speaks the same language as he does...?)
Jolly Josh
09-09-05, 10:52 AM its for a planescape campaign... fairly tame if you look at other PS backgrounds... and usually every plane in the multiverse speaks a little common.

Personality to come!!

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Jolly Josh 09-05-05, 10:15 PM	They say it’s nigh impossible to escape the planar borders of Athas. Tell that to a planewalker stuck there and you find that impossibilities become possibles. Meridemon Ghostwalker was a planewalker, weathered to the bone from the harsh tortures of the endless planes he traveled. His quests were of pure profit and self-serving purposes, usually hired as a planar guide to far off hidden layers of unknown deities. His final expedition lead him to a fiery plane of silt and sand, sun and fire, and wasted civilizations. The travelers he help return to there world of Athas failed to tell him of the difficult nature of leaving the plane and he soon discovered his doom. On first attempt to activate an item of planar travel the effects seemed to fizzle. He angerly attempted the process over and over again until it succeeded. Finally when the item activated he was pulled almost sideways into a grey nothingness. The grey squeezed him immensely as he felt his life essence slowing leaking from him. He tried desperately to shift again and seemingly thrust himself deep into the heart of grey. Days passed him by, growing weaker by the moment, still, as quickly as his abilities and items would activate he attempted to shift. Finally as he felt the grey squeezing the last ounce of life from his body he chose to shift back to the plane of silt, sand, dust, and sun. He though that was his end. Images of skeletal dragons and slavery in a barren wasteland filled Meridemon’s dreams which seemed to last years on end. At last Meridemon awoke from what seemed to be his eternal damnation. When he first glanced at his surrounding, he noticed the high archway doors and oversized bowls beside his bed. Then he looked to his arms and body, it looked as though a terrible disease had ravaged his body for years. Trying to sit up, he cringes and coughs up a spot of blood and falls back to his bed unconscious. The next time he awoke, to his surprise, a rather tall woman sits over him washing his emaciated body. She smiles with a caring look and says, “You have been sleeping for many weeks now, I thought I was going to have to give up on you.” “You are most kind, I’m sure the buzzards would have picked my bones clean for sure if not for your help.” “You still need your rest, traveler. We’ll talk later.” Meridemon soon discovered he was living with a caring half-giant woman by the name of Luckgiver, a former slave of the city state of Tyr. She lived in the mountain range just northwest of the city. After Meridemon became able to walk and move around again he explored the community. He learned of the harsh nature of Athas and of the tyrannical god-kings that ran the city states. Meridemon and Luckgiver fell in love over the next year and consummated there bond with a child, Luckmauler. The family lived in harmony for years until Dregoth, the undead skeleton king, attacked there community, killing the men, and slaving the women and children for some evil rites to increase his ever lustful defiling powers. Meridemon fell in battle protecting his wife and son, with his dying breathe, he Luckgiver, to give his amulet to Luckmauler when he became of age. Luckmauler, only 4 at the time, barely understood what happened to his father, but he understood his new life of servitude for the next 10 years of his life. Dregoth had the slaves building a massive unholy temple to channel evil magic. Dregoth’s corrupt magic even creped into the slaves, deforming them, changing them, corrupting them. Luckgiver now twisted and scarred, approach her son on the eve of his 14th birthday, “I don’t have much to give you Luckmauler, but your father had a dying wish, to wait until you were of age, to give you this.” She pulled out an amulet, “a wise man in the slave quarters said it contains magic, his eyes have been lusting for it. I thought I should give it to you before I find it stolen.” Luckmauler took the item and wore it always. The corrupting magic of Dregoth started to take a hold of Luckmauler as well. His eyes dark and his dark skin turned a shade grey. His long black hair began to straighten and sheen. Soon dark dreams of horrible magic and sacrifice filled his nights. A stranger in the slave camp witnessed Luckmauler’s nightly torments. He showed him a why to focus his mind and take control of his thoughts and also showed him how to harness the corrupted magic that flowed through the air. The two became quick friends, they distracted there minds from the brutal labors of the day with psionic focus and at night they plotted with others on a rebellion. The rebellion was short lived. The power of Dregoth was far reaching; one weak mind leaked the rebel plot to the dark lich. The slaughter was almost immediate. Dregoth visited the camp directly, slaughtering every slave, handfuls at a time, reaching for the amulet, Luckmauler managed to activate its powers almost immediately. Now Luckmauler lay in a field, the grass is green; the air smells of spring and fruit. The suns rays feel energizing, not demoralizing. He is in a new land through the power of the amulet… the amulet is gone he noticed. He curses for a moment and stands. He begins to walk to over to a hill top. As far as the eye can see, there are hills, trees, farms, all blooming with life. But he feels compelled to turn around, almost scarred too, fearing this is a dream and Dregoth is but right behind him. He turns his head oh so slowly to reveal not Dregoth, but something equally frightening and awe inspiring all at the same time, a tree as tall and as wide as the eye can see. Worlds and cities and all of Athas could have fit on each of its tiniest limbs. Luckmauler smiled as he fell on his back side and stared in wonder at his new life.
Fithero 09-06-05, 03:42 AM	Awsome.... just... awsome. That is a really cool character, i like the whole "jump to another plane" at the beginning of the adventurer idea. Very cool. I once had a Planar human who was a foward scout (was actually a fighter) for his people because his plane was about to collapse...very good character to play. Even the simplest things became interesting for him, night never existed on his plane. So the first time the sun set he nearly died....hehe. As i said, its a cool character, more info on his personallity would be good too. Later
bobothehobo8 09-09-05, 01:41 AM	Critique..eh...? It is kind of a stretch on the imagination. I'm part of the camp that thinks mixing settings is bad mojo. But this is between you and your DM. I hope this game is starting at a high level...because that doesn't seem like anything a level 1 character could do. Very creative though. Like Fithero said, more personality. The history section is done, but what about the character himself? New goals in this land? Outlook on life? How will he fit in to this new land (which oddly speaks the same language as he does...?)
Jolly Josh 09-09-05, 10:52 AM	its for a planescape campaign... fairly tame if you look at other PS backgrounds... and usually every plane in the multiverse speaks a little common. Personality to come!!