Post/Author/DateTime	Post
LadyLindis 09-14-07, 02:19 AM	Okay, everyone here's how this posted started: Monday night I had a very specific D&D Dream and since monday morning have been fleshing out the details, I'll show you a short introduction and continue after (Because, in all honesty I felt like showing a pinch off tonight. :P) Forgive the lack of description on the other warriors, only the girl was clear and I'm still filling out their appearances. The evening was unusually cold considering it was summer; dew that had formed hours ago upon the glistening grass in the twilight was now covered by a thin shell of ice and crackled with the lightest disturbance. A quintet of seasoned warriors consisting of; A Human paladin, an ex paladin Copper Dragon ranger, elven female wizard, halfing barbarian male and a Psion half elven/human man see their target: The Vanity 'shipment' they have been laying in wait for hours in this cold, dark well-traveled forest road for. Days ago they received a tip about People being shipped to the Ba'al-controlled city of Narugrel, fresh bodies for the Temple of Vanity to abuse. The trap was simple and setup by townspeople, mostly men and older boys, who did not want their home to become overrun by Ba'al worshippers and dark-hearted members of the flesh trade; deep trenches flanked by dug in spikes to first immobilize the horse drawn transport and injure the drivers were completed before sunset. A few seconds of quiet conversation was cut short by the loud whinny of four horses and a few dark oaths broke that broke the evening's calm, the five warriors quickly dispatched the half dozen Vanity supporters; two carriage drivers, a Dark Sorceress, evil cleric and a pair of scimitar-wielding swordsmen. With all the patrons of Vanity dead the party went about the task of freeing the captured; A collection of Human males, children of multiple races and a few elven girls, everything went as planned until they came across something in a long, hooded charcoal-colored wool cloak lying on the floor in the back. They stood there for a few moments, weapons drawn and lantern high watching this thing...until the Psion, Corden and his childhood friend, Sidil the Barbarian realized, in time to stop Maline, the only female member of the group from toasting the cloak, that whatever was under under the cloak seemed, for the time being; harmless. Coden's green eyes moved slowly over the figure until he noticed something poking out of the left corner, "There's a small foot coming out of a corner, a little gray-brownish one." Once this was said the round little toes stopped moving, Corden was not sure of it; but the man thought he heard a sniffling noise. He elected to keep an eye on the cloaked person as the group started talking quietly. Tucking an errant lock of blonde hair behind her long ear the wizard began, "Would one of the Vanity slavers had the time to hide during the fight?" The dragon, Rafelgar shrugged, "Perhaps...but do you remember any of them being that small?" "Corden, what is it doing?" Sidil inquired. Corden observed the little lump, "Breathing...the ears are pointed, so whoever is hiding is an elf, or half-elf." Rafelgard turned to their resident Wizard, "Maline, Isn't that you're cue to cast something helpful?" The woman rolled her ceurlean eyes while she cast a simple spell of revealing; they widened and then Maline set her jaw, gritting her teeth in hatred and supreme disdain, "It's a drow." In what felt an instant, Maline took out her short sword and shoved past the two larger men; Garrett the human Paladin and Rafelgar, for the hiding drow, intent on ending it's life. Corden, Sidil, Garrett, and Rafelgar chased after to stop Maline from getting her hands on the drow before they could question it. So powerful the hate within the caster, she pulled the small figure off the floor of the carriage with one hand and shook them until the hood of the cloak came down to reveal... A young girl, with a look of absolute terror on her tear stained face staring at her. A reddish pink surrounded the violet of her swollen, frightened eyes, they were glossy from silent crying. Those whose minds were not clouded with hatred could see this child is not a full drow...the girl held aloft by Maline's rage was actually a partial-drow, Half was the safest assumption. Purple eyes with skin color a cross between drowen ash and human brown, with brown being the shade of majority. Hair the color of rust falling deep into the cloak, one soft tendril rolled outside the dark cloth, falling past Maline's wrist, and stopped on the girl's chest near shoulder blade length. The cloaked youth seemed frail and very tired; a mesurable degree worse off than the other victims they had released. What prevented the men from separating Maline from this girl at once was the evil Aura Garrett felt from her direction. The girl's eyes started to wander cautiously, no longer darting between Maline's sword and eyes exclusively, to the other people in the background ... that is, until Maline began to shake her like an impatient child with a wrapped present, "Speak! You little bas--" "Maline! Calm down!" Raflegar shouted. She glared at her friend, and turned back to the girl, "I told you to speak, Drow ...Now." The girl lifted her chin to show there was a kind of collar around her neck. From what the dragon could see as the item was obscured by both his comrade's wrist and the dark cloth. What he could see was little help, it was made of steel and clamped tightly around the neck with a loop on the right side, presumably for a leash to be attached. "Ignorant drow, you will speak. Unless, of course, you wish me to end your insignificant existence which I will gladly do..." Maline seethed through and started to tighten her grip. The child whimpered, trying to do as she had been ordered three times now; knowing the outcome before it even happened. This sound activated an the collar's enchantment; a current of eletricity ran throughout her exhausted form. The youth lost conciseness from pain and fear of the woman who seemed determined to end her life. ~~~~~~~ I stopped there on purpose to continue without too much time spent showboating on my part. The young girl, named Ziellye, as stated above is a Half Drow... yes, another half drow. But please, hear me out before you start your eye rolling posts of, "Could you be any less original?" Also... No, she's not wielding dual scimitars, nor is she really a pillar of power (yet). What Ziellye is not: -The Avatar of a Deity. -Bitter about much but her father's death, and the death of the life she would have had. -Really Evil and looking or an opportunity to strike. -A symbol of Drow and Humans coming together to live in perfect Harmony. (Not by a long shot. Her beginning's are proof enough of this. I didn't post her origin's because I wasn't sure if it would get me in trouble or not.) -The reincarnation of Anybody. -A hippie. (She'll kill small game to survive.) -Too Naive (To stay alive she will lie, fight and pretty much do anything short of murder or steal what she feels is not hers to take.) What Ziellye is: -A surprise to her creator who has no real affection for Drow to being with. (Knowing little...but the fact that the race is pretty broken.) -An extremely unlucky kid. -Obviously terrified or Maline. (Racist elf with a sword at your heart...not a hallmark moment.) -Incomplete. Now, don't worry about the setting; it's homebrew so it's not supposed to be perfect D&D Canon. My problem is this: What do I do with her? After filling out a character questionnaire, and knowing her personality is gentle, though stubborn. And deciding she would like to be a bard (to start)...I have nothing. She has a simple, albeit unfair, life story up to this point...but she doesn't seem to have much motivation for traveling with the party outside of being thankful they did not leave her to the Vanity's, frightened that if she walks around alone and unprotected she'll be filling a shallow ditch somewhere...and liking the guys because they were nice to her. It's Platonic, Big-brother-esque liking...just being clear. Ziellye also had a general fears of; -Spiders, -Women(They hate her especially) -Spiders(not a typo, she hates them that much.), -Drowning -And being found a burden; as that is how she ends up being first feared and finally hated. Ziellye Craine's stats, [Yes; at the end of my dream I received her stats and there was quite a bit of dice rolling sounds at points were skill, feat and other checks were being made.] Strength: 7 Constitution: 8 Dexterity: 17 Wisdom: 15 Intelligence: 15 Charisma: 19. Level: 1 Race: Half Drow Human Gender: Female Age: 14. Alignment: NG Class [Special]: *Helpless maiden. [This was an inside joke, because her stats, background and current personality reflect this.] Her Biological mother was a Drow and the leader of a small though charismatic cult; Her Father, Ardal Marcen Craine was a Human Ranger who was captured by Missy Crazypants--I mean, Lady Ardul'lyn Tekughym. Anyway, I would appriciate greatly helpful advice/critisim. Thanks for reading, you earned a cookie. :cookie: ^__^ Also...becasue I feel the need to make an additional point/defend myself[ :P]: my boyfriend even had to tell me how to [i]pronounce Drizzt a few seconds ago. :P Can't really make a clone of the guy when you -honest to goodness- had to read up on him last night. XD
Terjon of the Blue Rose 09-14-07, 04:52 AM	Well thank goodness. What with the title I was afraid of another notDrizzt. It's a good story and well written. I'd like to see what happens. The only comment really is that at least for the time being she seems to be an npc the story will revolve around. Is that supposed to be the way things happen or will we be seeing another case of a certain spellfire wielder?
Hsien 09-14-07, 10:31 AM	My first question is.... what is the intent? 1: To make a character 2: To make a character with an extensive backstory, not uncommon and nicely done btw. 3: Writting a story. If you are simply trying to write a story, I would suggest staying away from trying to stat out the character, that limits you to much. I talked w/ Salvatore some at last years Gen Con (06) and iirc he has never stated out Drizzt or any of his written characters for that reason. He wants them to evolve and be able to do things that are good for the story, not limit them to boring skill checks and x attacks per round game mechs. Which is why one of the first versions of Drizzt was so horrible, horrible done and horribly overpowered because the people that spec'd him out tried to relate the actions in the books to game mechanics. Chapt 6, page 216-220 looks like Drizzt is getting about 10 attacks a round, no make that 12...ok then he must be a 25 Fighter, 14 Ranger fighting with two weapons and....ok I forget what that version actually was beyond just BAD!
LadyLindis 09-14-07, 11:08 AM	@ Terjon: I'm glad to have put your fears to rest; though I, kind of hate uninspired character builds, as a rule I try to only rip myself off when making characters. She's supposed to be a party member, actually...and... who would said spellfire wielder be? @Hsien: I suppose all three. XD But for the story version I'm going to drop the stats; you do bring up a very good point for dumping the stats altogether, I'll consider it And I'll post some more of her story below; picking up from where I left off last night. Corden shook his head and spoke in bitter sarcasm, "Maline's cool headed style of interrogation has either killed or wounded a random Half-drow. Child. Nice... Shall we kill her for sure, or are you done now?" "If you want to play protector of some little drow because she teared up, fine. You carry her." Maline snapped, tossing the girl to Corden before storming out of the carriage. The men followed after he adjusted the child thrown so unceremoniously at him, into his arms. He wrapped the cloak closer to her body; not sure why she was wearing it, but deciding it must have been important for her not to try and use it to distract Maline and run. Those who needed it were cleaned, identified and partially interviewed, they were taken back to town for further care. The girl was thankfully still alive, though her breath was shallow. Their paladin had to heal the girl because Maline, a very accomplished cleric as well, staunchly refused. "You wanted to save that little wretch, so... save her. I'm not touching that ....drow again." "You had no problems when your hands wanted to spill her innocent blood on the floor of a vanity transport." Garrett said without turning and began to heal the girl. "Innocent?" Maline started, incensed, "That Drow must be a dark seductress if you believe it to be innocent...or maybe it's youth clouds your judgement. This is a Drow, all they know is violence and cruelty." "And what have you shown her, a girl who has made no act against you, and was for all we know one of the captives?" "Are we so sure she was not placed inside the carriage to keep their true captives docile? ...I'll wager the reason she's kept that cloak on is because she was their entertainment...and we would know it by the harlot's garb she no doubt covers with that shroud." "We can find that out later, can we not? She's feeble; you've seen it. Her wrists and ankles are thin, and before you bring up spells, simply create an antimagic field, or a more focused magic suppressant if you want to create a zone of truth. Think! Maline. You're usually good at this." Her ego rightfully wounded and unable to think of a sufficient retort, The wizard shut her mouth for the remainder, seething quietly. The evil aura was disturbing, but Maline's suggestion of abandoning this child was worse. It was decided the aura would be handled when they reached the house. After reporting the successful mission to the town officials, and keeping the child's face covered to avoid another incident; they returned to their rented farmhouse, where Rafelgar, Garrett, Corden and Sidar began to uncover the mystery of this unusual child, Maline kept away working on something in the bedroom furthest from them. They discovered this particular collar was something new from vanity, a control device for magic users or general troublemakers, it was placed around the throat during travel to keep them quite. Any noise the person made was turned into an electrical shock powerful enough to put them asleep for a few minutes or days depending on the 'vocal infraction' Another hour and a lot of careful work got the collar off the girl's neck and then came the question of what to do with it...and her when she woke up. Maline, of course, voted they destroy the collar and dump the girl off outside town. "They can fend for themselves...especially the females. They worship their demon Ba'al goddess... let her sort it out." "Can we do the same with her?" Rafelgar asked rhetorically, and loud enough that Maline heard. The elf scoffed and left the bedroom, "Drow women are as dangerous as any other beast we have encountered. Don't let her gender fool you...she'll say, promise or do anything to save her skin." Corden changed the subject; anytime Maline started down being overly self-righteous, Rafelgar took up the task of laying spikes, "Drow never sleep, though...this girl is not full drow." Sidil started at the evil device and turned back to the men, "We still haven't figured out if the aura Garrett felt was coming from the child or the collar." Corden nodded and turned to their paladin, "Garrett, check the girl for any evil aura. Maline's emotions may be clouding her judgement, but we have no idea who that girl is or if she is any danger to us or the town." Garrett checked her and came to a conclusion that surprised even him; all of the powerful evil aura he felt was coming from the collar alone, and the girl's neck was still bruised. They watched her sleep until the girl stirred. She opened her eyes slowly, cringed, then sat up and looked around the room. when she saw that Maline was not still trying to choke and stab her to death at the same time she visibly relaxed. A small staring contest took place, the girl wasn't going to speak first; in her mind the collar was still on and she just recovered from it's last use. Garrett started first, "Do you speak common?" the girl nodded. "Will you speak to us?" She pointed to the neck. "We took it away, it won't hurt you to talk now." She touched her throat and winced; obviously this man was telling the truth. She slid her hand back into the cloak, speaking in a scratchy whisper "...May I please have something to drink, sir? My throat hurts." "I'll take care of it." Sidil left the room and got halfway down the hall when Maline handed him a mug of juice, "Give her this." Sidil cocked an eyebrow, "What have you mixed in?" "A little something to keep your guest honest." "You are something else, Maline." "I am simply being cautious, you men are acting like she is your long lost little sister." Sidil grinned, "I think you're jealous of a helpless little girl." "Shut up and give this to her already." "I'm having Garrett check for poison." "At least you're using your head, Sidil." "God and the seven saints...." Sidil muttered a few other things about Maline needing her head examined and returned, "A friend of ours said something sweet would be nice to give her." "So, Maline's trying to poison her now?" Rafelgar sighed wearily. "I don't know. I still feel Garrett should check for poison though." The girl shifted in bed, moving a little closer to the wall when Maline was mentioned; only Corden and the child saw the wizard was standing in the door. Garrett checked the contents of the mug. He found it was grape and cherry juice mixed with a little honey and laden with enough truth spells and potions to make the corrupt spirit himself repent. Garrett said nothing of this finding and nodded to the others, then got up and held out the mug for the girl, "Here you are, little one." "Thank you, sir." she held the cloak together with one hand, reached out with the other to receive the cup then drank slowly, even though she was very thirsty. When she finished the juice the girl closed her eyes and rubbed her temple, "Mmm..." when she opened them once more her pupils were dilated and her face relaxed. "I'll hand it to Maline...she makes very potent potions...and casts dangerous spells." Corden shook his head and turned to the girl, "So our friend who I know is standing in the doorway can be happy; are you a full or half drow?" "Half drow, my daddy was human." "Was? ...Is he dead?" "Yes." "Did you kill him?" "No." "Why are you clinging to that cloak? It cannot be comfortable." Sidil mused. "Because the Vanity people put me in a humiliating costume I'd rather not let anyone see..." "I could have told you that." Rafelgar shook his head, "What is your name, child?" "Ziellye Craine." "How old are you?" She hesitated, "Fourteen, sir." "Were you about to lie?" "Yes." "Why?" "You might not leave me in an orphanage if I said I was nineteen." "Why would we leave you?" "Because, like that elf woman was about to kill me, said; no one keeps a drow b******d around for very long when they can get rid of it." Garrett gave Maline a meaningful look and asked a question of his own, "Ziellye, where is your father? And who taught you such bad language?" "I learned that and other words when I ran away from the last orphanage...I lost my daddy six years ago...when he died of sickness..." "Sickness?" "I don't remember what the healer said took his life before they carried my father's body to the funeral pyre...I do remember she told the townspeople now that my daddy was dead they didn't have to keep me. So she dumped me in a far-off city and the director of the orphanage took me. I hated it there. I ran away a lot; which got me a lot of time in the basement and a lot of beatings until I was eleven and got away for good." Raflegar nodded, "That was three years ago, how have you survived?" "By not telling people I was drow...and avoiding elves and women... I got stuck in Aberndel. But I found an abandoned house near the woods and lived there...My daddy was a mercenary so I knew how to hunt...but I can't use weapons..." "Why not?" "Daddy always tried to teach me but I didn't want to... I thought if I did people would be less inclined to kill me if I had a weapon." "But a hunting knife is a weapon." "I was only eleven..." Ziellye pouted, "I was just trying not to get myself in trouble." "So how long did this last?" Cordon shrugged. "Two years...I fixed the holes in the house and started cleaning the fabrics inside so I could make clothes for myself...It was a seamstresses home. I think the lady who lived there moved or died...I'm thankful the home was there...In the fall, when I was making myself dinner...they came..." "They?" Maline asked by accident, blowing her cover of aloof disinterest. "Barouge followers." They listened intently resisting the urge to rise at once and tear down temples that second as Ziellye explained the week she survived to her stone-faced audience, "...And when they thought I was dead; they left me in the field...when I woke up I was in the city jail. They told me my home was burned down and half the crops for winter planted by the people living outside city limits, along with killing and abusing as many serfs as they could...of course I was blamed and was going to be punished, probably executed. I didn't really care at that point if I died or not...I felt dead already. It was clear the Barouge left me to take the blame and moved on to rape and pillage elsewhere... I spent a few weeks in the jail until someone paid the officials to let me go. That's when Vanity purchased me, it was six months ago. When I realized what that man and his associates bought me for; I started fighting...I can't use any weapons but I can bite, kick, scream and run like anyone else." She sighed, "So, I fought them. Every second I could but they kept giving me something to sleep... until they reached another city and put the collar on me...then, of course since I was no longer able to make any problems for them -even moving without permission hurts- they put me in the outfit. I stole the cloak when they tried to teach me to dance in it shamelessly. They never dropped me off at a temple, though...I overheard why a few weeks ago...I was being saved for the flagship Vanity temple." Zieylle shuddered and continued talking, "Then, last night I heard all the commotion of battle and hid in the corner...I-I thought if I didn't move, and you all thought you had already saved everyone...that if a played dead... you would leave and I could get away...but then the half-elf and halfing men noticed my foot...and the angry elf lady tried to kill me and I..." There was another long silence. Then Cordon asked if she knew about her beginnings, hoping at least that was happy. Ziellye herself was the product of rape. Her mother kidnapped her father, A human ranger named Ardal Craine and tried to keep him as a love slave...Followers of the Rage attacked the city one summer killing everyone they could...her father was a resourceful man and freed his fellow captives, killing as many of their captors, and the murders as he could...The newly escaped ranger found the baby girl, barely six months old, crying, wrapped in a linen blanket on the roadside near a flaming stable and took her with him when he finally escaped the burning city...Ardal discovered the following morning that when the Drow woman who took his late wife's engagement ring and wedding band from around his neck a few days ago... she gave them to his daughter, the little girl he now held. It was a custom of this particular sect of drow; take something important belonging to the father and placed it on the child so they could identify the baby. He named her Ziellye, after his beloved wife, and raised his daughter happily after that until his death; seven and a half years later.
Terjon of the Blue Rose 09-15-07, 01:23 AM	Another round of applause. :clap: :clap: :clap: Don't remember the spellfire wielder's name. Story goes from people chasing her for her power to downing dracoliches in ridiculous amounts of time though. Started just as much a helpless maiden as your character though there are enough differences to keep yours unique.
LadyLindis 09-15-07, 01:57 PM	:D Thank you. ^^ [The dream peter's out at this point and I'm writing more from imagination and working on the other warriors' descriptions.] No, she doesn't have any magical abilities...or anything worth chasing her for, this is run-of-the-mill, "Get yer pitchorks an' torches ready, ladies!", "We see it, we hate it, let's kill it." Stupidity. They asked the girl a few questions to test her fighting prowess...she had none. Five minutes later she was curled on her side, tucked in to bed and sleeping peacefully. Eariler, at the interview's end, Ziellye slumped over; the disgraceful outfit the followers of the pillar of vanity forced her into could be seen. Around her wrist's and ankles were bangles of copper and gold Garrett and Rafelgar quickly covered Ziellye's little body for modesty's sake, and put her to bed under the covers. "We seriously need to find her some decent clothing." the Paladin sighed, "To think they would dress a child in such.." "And don't say we have to do it, Maline... we already know you refuse to be invol--...where did she go now?" Rafelgar sighed. "Off to replenish her stocks after pouring half of them down Ziellye's throat?" Sidil snickered. "Maybe, or off assuring herself that Elves are the best thing since baked bread...Either way, it's nice not to have her brooding." Corden smirked, "After getting our little guest some clothing we need to decide out next move; and which of the four of us are staying behind to watch her...the girl looks like she can barley fight a cold let alone who we are dealing with." Garrett took a scrap of paper from his pack and tour it into quarters, "Drawing lots. We make four, mark three, and choose. The blank lot watches Ziellye." "It's the best idea we have. Let's do it." Sidil agreed, producing a pen and ink from his satchle on the small table nearby. The lots were marked, folded over thrice, and snuffled in an empty bowl before drawing. In the end, Rafelgar drew the blank lot to watch the girl. Maline returned with replenished supplies for her magic ...and a child sized belt. "It's good enough for her." she said placing on a chair outside the room. "When we said 'clothing' we didn't mean a belt alone." Sidil sighed. "When we agreed to save the people in that caravan we never said anything about keeping any drow we found." The halfling man was in no mood to argue with this woman, "I'll actually get clothing for her." and left on his task. Having two younger sisters was a boon for Sidil in this instance, he was able to functional and feminine clothing for Ziellye in less than and hour and return, he bought both a skirt and pants; along with other basic and essensial clothing, a pair of sturdy boots, backpack to hold everything in and lastly, a bedroll. Zieylle woke soon after Sidil's return, with no memory of her drugging. After a hot bath and change out of the costume looked markedly better; with the dirt and sweat scrubbed form her skin and dressed in simple clothing; a yellow shirt and dark green skirt with brown hiking boots she carried and placed by the bed; explaining she didn't like to cover her feet when indoors. Ziellye then brushed her hair into a single braid, looking for all the world as like a young appritience... A hungry one as her stomach announced, much to Ziye's embarrassment. This was her preferred nickname, a piece of information learnt by Garrett, who thought to ask when the girl first woke up. After two bowls of potato soup, that she thanked them for very much, with bread and juice that was not laced with spells or potions, she was about to go back to sleep when the topic of the party's next move came up; this made Ziellye sit up and listen closely. To her dismay, the adults were talking in the hall so Ziye had to creep out of her soft bed and press her ear to the wall behind the bedroom door to listen in. "...You don't plan to leave her in this house alone, do you? Even if, which I doubt, she does not cause any trouble on her own, any towns person who lays eyes on a drow is going to burn this house to ash for safety's sake." "For one, you have been complaining since yesterday about this girl so we assumed the less you knew of any plans concerning her the better it would be for everyone. Rafelgar will stay behind to watch Ziye." "Ziye? Since when are we nicknaming the drow?" "Since when have we enacted a policy of justice for some? You may find that child distasteful for reasons of your own choosing. But this group is not run by whomever complains the loudest. We are equals in this endeavor and Ziellye stays because the majority feels the child is both no harm to us, and worse off is left to the world once again." "Fine...then we leave her in the first Drow colony we encounter." "You heard her history. As a half drown she will be lower in their twisted caste system then any member of their society...I think they would be so low as to kill her on the discovery of her heritage and lack of a living mother with influence." "We've been over this half a dozen times already; Ziellye stays, and the rest of us are tearing down that vanity temple. Back to that..." After listening for another fifteen minutes, and discovering she had been heavily drugged my the wizard who seemed to take her breathing as a criminal offense, Ziye scampered back to the bed, watching quietly as the warriors bid each other safe travels and avoided eye contact with Maline. Once the others left the house, Ziellye looked up at the dragon, "Y... You don't have to stay here if you don't want to...I'll just go to sleep and you can go with your friends...I promise not to leave the room, or go near any windows. Nobody will know I'm here..."