playing insanity (warning: kinda long) [Archive] - Wizards Community

playing insanity (warning: kinda long) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Nathan Ballingrud
03-30-05, 06:06 PM Okay, bear with me on this one.

I'm playing a CN fighter, 10th level, who has just returned from a very brief trip into the Abyss. Brief as in maybe ten minutes tops, but long enough for him to catch a good dose of insanity. Essentially, he hears the voices of the damned, telling him what the DM calls "secrets." One of these secrets is that Erythnul is the only real god and damnation is an unavoidable fate, even for LGs. Obviously this isn't true, but it's one of the things that's being drummed into his head on a regular basis. Also, he caught a very brief glimpse of Erythnul himself, and was enthralled; members of his party had to drag him away.

Now, the challange playing THIS character with this affliction is this: he has been pretty much a bastard most of his life, behaving in the boorish, bullying way of your typical CN fighter who learned his craft fighting in the gladiator pits. A few levels ago, though, he was killed by a frost giant, and spent some time in a pretty awful afterlife. When he was resurrected, he realized that he had to change his life if he was going to avoid that fate. Furthermore, he married a wizard in the party (another PC), and she is currently pregnant. SO that's added incentive to become a better person. The thing is, his wife is currently as bad as he was when younger, and the party he's with keeps getting tangled up in morally, um, ambiguous predicaments. He's secretly feared for a long time that he's damned no matter what; and now he has voices telling him that it is so.

So I have this insane character to play, a character who is trying to become a good person and who now believes (fitfully; the insanity comes in "spells") that his fears were correct all along: the world is governed by evil, and no matter what he does his soul -- and the soul of his wife and unborn child -- are damned.

Now, with my group it's a given that pretty soon the PCs are going to suss that he's lost his marbles and heal him somehow. So I want to enjoy the possibilities this affords me while I can.

Any tips on how to play something like this? Should he continue wrestling with it, should he go full bore into evil until someone in the party figures out his plight and gets rid of the insanity? I'm thinking of having it manifest in a gradually increasing intensity, until he finally decides that, as a fighter, his only role in life is to kill. And so he commences to doing it whenever the whim takes him, regardless of who or when. I figure he will either be killed or be healed, or be healed and then killed. I realize my character might not survive this episode, but it ought to be fun to play anyway.

Oh, and to make matters even more twisted, last session he was nearly killed by a wendigo; the DM told me after the session was over that he's been infected by the wendigo's hunger, and -- on top of the insanity -- will soon be compelled to stalk and eat people.

He's had a rough couple of days.
dorkknight23
03-30-05, 07:49 PM There are two ways for your chaotic neutral character to go, one a little more good, one a little more evil.

I believe the big question is how much your fighter cares about his wife and upcoming family. If he is more good than evil, he could try his best to stand strong and protect his family, perhaps hoping against hope (something we sentient creatures are awfully good at) that although he might be damned, and everyone else might be damned, that perhaps his own actions can save his wife and child (or at least they couldn't hurt.) He may be slowly slipping in and out of sanity, and he may be hungering for human flesh, but he may be trying his best to control these impulses and do what he can to save his family, turning these tools against the forces of darkness themselves. Turn over a new leaf, become a bit more charitable, helpful, and try and prove that the inevitable isn't so inevitable (what self-respecting chaotic character would assume everything only happened one way?) This way ends up being a little more CG than CN, but you can temper this with more interest in saving your family than trying to save anyone else.

The other route to go is to utterly revel in this madness, basically playing a malevolent, nihlistic, fatalistic beastial barely human war machine. That torched village over there? "Well, they're damned anyway, so why bother trying to save them? I'd only be delaying the inevitable." "Why bother?" in fact should be your character's catchphrase (or most uttered phrase) in most scenarios: he does whatever he wants whenever he wants because he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. Why bother, right? You might even take levels of Cleric of Erythnul to reflect this attitude, trying to join the ranks of the oppressors instead of the oppressed.

In either event, this could be terribly interesting and fun to explore. Hope I could be of help!
Max the Immortal
04-03-05, 01:09 AM I think the alignment shift should be severe; either:

A) He begins to worship Erythnul. He believes the voices in his head, and does what they tell him to do. Take a look at the Divine Crusader PrC from Complete Divine; consider taking a few levels. If he's careful to conceal his newfound faith from the party (they wouldn't understand), this could last a while.

or

B) He becomes a saint. Even if he believes that all are damned, he refuses to give in to despair. No matter what the voices tell him, no matter what cannibalistic impulses pull at him, he will not become some depraved beast for the pleasure of some dark god. He knows that every heroic deed, every altruistic sacrifice, every act of kindness, though futile, is akin to spitting in Erythnul's face. I don't have the Book of Exalted Deeds, but I imagine it's worth looking at. If he believes an eternity of torture is unavoidable, so be it. When Erythnul's voice whispers in his head the fate that awaits him, he whispers back: "When I die, I shall march into your lake of fire with my fist held high. Burn me, beat me, flay me, shred me; you will never break me. Visit agony after agony upon me, turn the full fury of the Abyss on me, I shall never bend before you. There is nothing you can do to make me bow or kneel before. Every time you try to break my will, I shall continue to stand tall, and I SHALL WIN."

Whichever way you go, take it to an extreme.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Nathan Ballingrud 03-30-05, 06:06 PM	Okay, bear with me on this one. I'm playing a CN fighter, 10th level, who has just returned from a very brief trip into the Abyss. Brief as in maybe ten minutes tops, but long enough for him to catch a good dose of insanity. Essentially, he hears the voices of the damned, telling him what the DM calls "secrets." One of these secrets is that Erythnul is the only real god and damnation is an unavoidable fate, even for LGs. Obviously this isn't true, but it's one of the things that's being drummed into his head on a regular basis. Also, he caught a very brief glimpse of Erythnul himself, and was enthralled; members of his party had to drag him away. Now, the challange playing THIS character with this affliction is this: he has been pretty much a bastard most of his life, behaving in the boorish, bullying way of your typical CN fighter who learned his craft fighting in the gladiator pits. A few levels ago, though, he was killed by a frost giant, and spent some time in a pretty awful afterlife. When he was resurrected, he realized that he had to change his life if he was going to avoid that fate. Furthermore, he married a wizard in the party (another PC), and she is currently pregnant. SO that's added incentive to become a better person. The thing is, his wife is currently as bad as he was when younger, and the party he's with keeps getting tangled up in morally, um, ambiguous predicaments. He's secretly feared for a long time that he's damned no matter what; and now he has voices telling him that it is so. So I have this insane character to play, a character who is trying to become a good person and who now believes (fitfully; the insanity comes in "spells") that his fears were correct all along: the world is governed by evil, and no matter what he does his soul -- and the soul of his wife and unborn child -- are damned. Now, with my group it's a given that pretty soon the PCs are going to suss that he's lost his marbles and heal him somehow. So I want to enjoy the possibilities this affords me while I can. Any tips on how to play something like this? Should he continue wrestling with it, should he go full bore into evil until someone in the party figures out his plight and gets rid of the insanity? I'm thinking of having it manifest in a gradually increasing intensity, until he finally decides that, as a fighter, his only role in life is to kill. And so he commences to doing it whenever the whim takes him, regardless of who or when. I figure he will either be killed or be healed, or be healed and then killed. I realize my character might not survive this episode, but it ought to be fun to play anyway. Oh, and to make matters even more twisted, last session he was nearly killed by a wendigo; the DM told me after the session was over that he's been infected by the wendigo's hunger, and -- on top of the insanity -- will soon be compelled to stalk and eat people. He's had a rough couple of days.
dorkknight23 03-30-05, 07:49 PM	There are two ways for your chaotic neutral character to go, one a little more good, one a little more evil. I believe the big question is how much your fighter cares about his wife and upcoming family. If he is more good than evil, he could try his best to stand strong and protect his family, perhaps hoping against hope (something we sentient creatures are awfully good at) that although he might be damned, and everyone else might be damned, that perhaps his own actions can save his wife and child (or at least they couldn't hurt.) He may be slowly slipping in and out of sanity, and he may be hungering for human flesh, but he may be trying his best to control these impulses and do what he can to save his family, turning these tools against the forces of darkness themselves. Turn over a new leaf, become a bit more charitable, helpful, and try and prove that the inevitable isn't so inevitable (what self-respecting chaotic character would assume everything only happened one way?) This way ends up being a little more CG than CN, but you can temper this with more interest in saving your family than trying to save anyone else. The other route to go is to utterly revel in this madness, basically playing a malevolent, nihlistic, fatalistic beastial barely human war machine. That torched village over there? "Well, they're damned anyway, so why bother trying to save them? I'd only be delaying the inevitable." "Why bother?" in fact should be your character's catchphrase (or most uttered phrase) in most scenarios: he does whatever he wants whenever he wants because he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. Why bother, right? You might even take levels of Cleric of Erythnul to reflect this attitude, trying to join the ranks of the oppressors instead of the oppressed. In either event, this could be terribly interesting and fun to explore. Hope I could be of help!
Max the Immortal 04-03-05, 01:09 AM	I think the alignment shift should be severe; either: A) He begins to worship Erythnul. He believes the voices in his head, and does what they tell him to do. Take a look at the Divine Crusader PrC from Complete Divine; consider taking a few levels. If he's careful to conceal his newfound faith from the party (they wouldn't understand), this could last a while. or B) He becomes a saint. Even if he believes that all are damned, he refuses to give in to despair. No matter what the voices tell him, no matter what cannibalistic impulses pull at him, he will not become some depraved beast for the pleasure of some dark god. He knows that every heroic deed, every altruistic sacrifice, every act of kindness, though futile, is akin to spitting in Erythnul's face. I don't have the Book of Exalted Deeds, but I imagine it's worth looking at. If he believes an eternity of torture is unavoidable, so be it. When Erythnul's voice whispers in his head the fate that awaits him, he whispers back: "When I die, I shall march into your lake of fire with my fist held high. Burn me, beat me, flay me, shred me; you will never break me. Visit agony after agony upon me, turn the full fury of the Abyss on me, I shall never bend before you. There is nothing you can do to make me bow or kneel before. Every time you try to break my will, I shall continue to stand tall, and I SHALL WIN." Whichever way you go, take it to an extreme.