Please Critique My Character Background [Archive] - Wizards Community

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Unsanctioned

01-26-04, 08:21 AM
[History: Kite shaman8/sacredexorcist10/contemplative1/divinedisciple1] Kite's mother, Kelvena Blackthorne, was the empress of the Norseid Republic, a province of Iuz located in its southwest corner near the Vesve forest. Prone to fulfilling her intimacy needs with random magically dominated men, Kelvena eventually found herself "blessed" with an unwanted baby boy. Refusing to even name the child, Kelvena initially planned to publicly execute him, however, hours before the execution she succumb to her overwhelming maternal instincts and instead used the gathering to announce the birth of her son, Prince Jovar Blackthorne III. Soon afterwards Kelvena performed a blood ritual using a dagger forged in the negative energy plane to brand herself and Kite with a small cross on the neck so that she and her son would be bound together forever. Months after the ritual Kelvena received a blow her newfound emotions would never recover from when she entered the prince's room to find him missing from his crib. Though she and her brother eventually found and destroyed those responsible for the kidnapping, they never recovered Kite.

Found outside of Ceres, an elven village long hidden from the outside world, Jovar would come to be raised in their orphanage after an unsuccessful attempt to return him to a nearby human village the Ceres elders suspected was his home. Possessing the taint of evil (a fact known only by the Elders) and being the only human in a village distrustful of humans, Kite (the name given to him by Elder Urandil) was shunned immediately. The villagers' overt racism and prejudice caused Kite to spend many nights in the orphanage huddled in a dark corner crying until one day, when he was eight years old, he simply got sick of crying. From that day on Kite became the primary nuisance of the village, disrupting all aspects of their society through mischievous pranks and vandalism on an almost daily basis. He figured if couldn't get the villagers to accept him he'd force them to at least acknowledge him as a person. While his antics failed to win him the acknowledgment of the village, they did cause Elder Urandil to take a more active role in Kite's life becoming like a surrogate father to him over the next few years. It was this new relationship with Kite that allowed Elder Urandil to identify him as a shaman when he walked in on an almost 10 year old Kite speaking in celestial, a language Kite wasn’t supposed to know, to a potted plant. When questioned by Elder Urandil, Kite confided in him his biggest secret, he could sometimes see and speak to spirits.

Identified late as a shaman (most shamans were identified around age 4 or 5), Kite spent the next three years in rigorous training with the Elders of Ceres. Much to the dismay of the elders Kite’s shaman abilities progressed slowly. While Kite had mastered the use of the Athiyk staff and become proficient with channeling divine energy in his three years of training he still couldn’t control his ability to see spirits, one of the most basic and important shaman abilities. With only two years left until the seal imprisoning the Rotting Man would begin weakening the Elders feared Kite would be ill equipped to perform the binding ritual. So, on the night of Kite’s thirteenth birthday the Elders met in secret to decide upon a course of action if Kite was unable to restore the seal, completely unaware that they had been followed by Kite. It was then that Kite found out the truth about the binding ritual, that it required a shaman’s soul, and death, to be completed. Shaken by the knowledge, it was hearing the Elder Ulai propose sacrificing him (Kite) while using their divine energy to substitute for his that threw his mind and heart into turmoil.

Scared and distraught at the knowledge that the Elders were planning his death, Kite fled from the clearing back to his house. Hastily gathering his few belongings Kite chose the only course of action his chaotic mind could think of, get as far away from Ceres as possible. Knowing that the village hunters would easily find him if he traveled by foot Kite sneaked into the temple of Beory and stole the ring of three wishes (2/3 remaining) contained within. Kite used his first wish to plane shift himself to the town of Greyhawk, a town mentioned/described in many of his favorite adventure stories. Once in Greyhawk, Kite used his second wish to give him a permanent non-detection spell to hide him from all who would seek to return him to Ceres against his will. With his primary threats taken care of Kite attempted to use his third wish to grant him some gold to buy equipment, but found that all of the ring’s wishes were gone. With only a handful of coppers in his money pouch Kite took shelter in the temple of Pelor earning his keep by performing various odd jobs for the priests and aiding them with healing minor assignments. 6 months later Kite left the temple to pursue adventuring and explore the world deciding to head for the Gnarley forest after receiving word of a small party of orcs terrorizing an elven village there.

[The Exeters ranger4/sacredfist8/templar8, cleric20, abjurer5/incantatrix10/archmage3/fatespinner2, or diviner7/divineoracle4/loremaster9] The Exeters are a small organization of religious zealots dedicated to freeing the Rotting Man from his prison. They are currently monitoring Kite after identifying him as the current shaman around the time he left Greyhawk for the Gnarley forest. Normally the would-be assassins of shamans, the Exeters have made no attempts on Kite’s life, believing him to actually be the prophesied reincarnation of the Rotting Man. To this effect they have been researching a spell to purge the morality and goodness from Kite’s soul in the hopes of returning him to his former self.

[Kivar Blackthorne ninja3/fighter2/barbarian1/blackguard7/nardemonbinder7] Kivar is the charismatic king of the Norseid Republic and twin brother to Kelvena Blackthorne. To most he appears to be a benevolent and just, but stern, ruler he is in fact a ruthless tyrant whose evil is exceeded only by his insatiable lust for power. While he is currently one of Iuz’s strongest allies, Kivar has spent the past 10 years bolstering his own power through ritual sacrifices in hopes of amassing enough power to slay Iuz and ascend to godhood. Unknown to Kelvena, Kivar orchestrated the kidnapping of his nephew, Kite, feeling that the child had made her soft, however, he betrayed the kidnappers to use them as a catalyst for a war against their home country which resulted in him losing Kite. Six months prior to the start of the campaign Kivar discovered the Exeters’ prophecy regarding Kite and has aligned himself with them. Although, he plans to slaughter them and use Kite to help him overthrow Iuz once they’ve managed to awaken his dormant powers.

[Kelvena Blackthorne cleric7/talontarblightlord5/masterofshrouds7/divinedisciple1] Kelvena is the twin sister to Kivar and queen of the Norseid Republic. Unlike Kivar, she makes no attempt to hide her evil, although she aids her brother’s charade by drawing attention away from his occasional evil slips and pretending to be his tragic redemption project. Cold and callous, Kelvena has only shown love for her brother and son, despises all other life forms relatively equally. When Kite was born Kelvena’s long buried emotions exploded to the surface causing her renounce her evil ways. However, she returned to her former ways soon after Kite was kidnapped. 2 years prior to the start of the campaign Kelvena received information from an anonymous source that Kite was hidden away in Ceres and has spent every resource available to her locating the village. 1 month prior to the start of the campaign Kelvena located Ceres and has since waged war on the village, fully supported by Kivar (although he knows Kite isn’t there, he’s supporting the war to expand Norseid’s territory).

*the rotting man mentioned here is not the one from forgotten realms. i just jacked the name =)
***credit goes to snowsavant for kivar’s class build***
Trydan

01-29-04, 01:06 PM
Nice background! I rather like it.

Given his history, I would suspect Kite to be fairly suspicious of others. If this is indeed the case, what would his motivations be for adventuring with others (assuming, of course, that he does adventure with other)?

Also, would really feel loyalty to defend an elven village from orcs? Or would his childhood experiences make him feel uneasy about evlish culture?
I'm curious to know how this fits in. Otherwise, it is a great background.
Unsanctioned

01-29-04, 03:18 PM
thanks for reading, trydan. i was beginning to think the lack of responses were because the background was unbearably bad. in response to your questions, Kite isn't especially distrustful. he won't share information about his past (for obvious reasons), but he doesn't feel all elves (people) are like the ones in Ceres. Kite's past has only served to make him especially considerate of others' feelings and somewhat empathetic towards others in need (figure i'd put his monstrous wis and good alignment to use this way). in spite of his background, he's still pretty comfortable around elves (most comfortable around half-elves) because they're pretty much all he knows, although he's not trying to go anywhere near Ceres anytime soon. he's helping the elven village in the gnarley forest out because it's the right thing to do, and subconsciously because he wants to prove to the Ceres elves that he is worthy of existing. interesting note though, i'd planned to give him an alternate personality that embodied his bottled up negative feelings regarding elves, but sacked it because i felt it would've been too much. thanks again for reading, trydan.

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