Post/Author/DateTime	Post
ant1ers 11-13-06, 02:52 PM	Alright, everyone. Here's the back story for my latest character, Liali Tahlquess. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could give it a once over and point out any major flaws/plot holes that I missed. STATS Wood Elf Barbarian Chaotic/Neutral Level 1 STR 19 DEX 18 CON 15 INT 12 WIS 11 CHA 3 BACK STORY Liali was born in a tribe of Wood Elves that had been driven out of their original home by Orcs, and settled in a forest far to the north (Picture an area on the borders of the region depicted in Frostburn). Due to their distance from the mainstream, this particular group of Wood Elves has slowly drifted into barbarism. As a child, Liali was noted for his strength and agility, but as he grew older it became apparent that something else was unusual about him, a great anger which would overtake him in the midst of strong emotions. This anger was brought to the attention of the tribe's elders following an argument with another youngster by the name of Luthien over a girl, an argument which resulted in a broken arm before Liali was pulled off of Luthien. The elders decided that since it appeared that this anger could not be controlled, it should be put to the advantage of the tribe, and had Liali trained by the most experienced warriors. This proved to be a wise decision, for 2 years later disturbing rumours had reached the tribe – a band of Orcs was on the march, moving north after having been driven out of the range they had taken from the Elves. In one of the first battles with the Orcs, Liali was captured by their leader, an Eye of Gruumsh, after attracting his attention in battle due to his murderous rage. The Eye, an Orc by the name of Vridush, decided that an Elf berserker would make a fitting sacrifice to his god, and commenced to slowly torture him to death. The Elves could hear his screams, as at this point the Orcish marauders had surrounded their village, and after the first day decided that something had to be done – either rescue him if he could walk, or put an end to his life if they could not get him out of the camp. The second night, a small band sneaked in and managed to free him. However, it was not until they got back to the village that they were able to see the extent of his wounds. Liali's nose had been cut off, and the rest of his face looked as though Vridush had spent the day slowly dribbling acid over it. They rushed him to a cleric of Corellon, but there it was discovered that something, perhaps the nature of the ritual that Vridush had attempted, interfered with any magical healing attempts. While Liali slowly healed over the next few months, the elves managed to fight off the band of Orcs, who turned eastward in search of easier prey. The departure of the Orcs did not help Liali, though. Slowly, his disfigurement embittered him, as the pity and disgust of his tribesmen at his new appearance became apparent. He found himself turning to the cleric who healed him, searching for some way to return his face to normal, or at least remove the worst of the scars. Nothing worked. It appeared that the magic which prevented an initial healing was still in effect. All the cleric could come up with to help Liali was a mask to obscure the effects of the torture. Initially, Liali refused, but as his estrangement from his tribe widened, he adopted the mask, carving a primitive representation of an Elvish face upon it. After a year's worth of research and prayer, the cleric finally received an inspiration, possibly divine in nature, as to how to cure Liali. “You cannot be healed because the ritual is still in effect. Kill Vridush, end the ritual. Perhaps then my magic may be sufficient,” he said. Upon hearing that, Liali spent a day gathering supplies, then headed East from his village, searching for any word of Orcs in general, and one Orc in particular. Character Notes: Liali is a typical Barbarian when it comes to combat, although he will always fly into a Rage (assuming that he has any remaining) at the sight of Orcs. Generally, his view of the world is that of a chaotic good alignment, but this shifts when dealing with Orcs. No means is too extreme for Liali if he believes that an Orc might have knowledge of Vridush. After all, isn't turnabout fair play? (Due to this dichotomy, the DM and myself decided on a C/N alignment, as an exemption to a current ban on chaotic neutrals) Furthermore, the reactions of his tribesmen have embittered him towards any sentients he encounters. Since he believes that anyone he encounters will either be repulsed by his scars or pity him for them, he proactively attempts to push everyone away from him, both through words and deeds. While he will accept aid in his quest, and aid others in return, it is strictly on a quid pro quo basis. Liali's creed is, “You help me, I help you. Otherwise, may you rot in hell along with the rest of the world.”
OneWinged4ngel 11-14-06, 01:15 AM	It's pretty vanilla and basic, to be honest. Consider adding hooks, some details on personality, and a physical description. Consider the culture of the elves, and what your character's values and goals might be. Possibly consider adding some notable personalities that influenced his life and may continue to. A bit more focus on your character is called for, and more of his perspective on the events in his life rather than a detached perspective. Also, ugliness is in no way an excuse for 3 charisma. 3 Cha is more like... no force of personality, meek and uninspiring and less than memorable, and often unliked. Or an insufferable ass unlike any you know IRL, most likely. :rolleyes:
1hitparry 11-14-06, 01:48 AM	I think this backstory is just fine. If anything, it's better than the ones I've come up with. I like the scarring part, and I think that totally justifies the CHA 3. I think the mask was a nice touch, and the whole kill Vridush gives your elf a motive.
Daxen 11-15-06, 05:40 PM	Horrible scarring could explain an 8 Charisma not a 3. This is evidenced by the fact that the mask can reduce the effect of scars. This is a half crazed anti-orc zealot who is not good at making or keeping friends. A 3 Charisma is indicative of a person who does not speak often and when they do it is like nails on a chalk board. He is most likely vulgar in habit, appearance and manner. People do not mount a daring rescue for a person with a 3 Charisma. If he survived at all it was due to the fact that the ritual could not kill him. Everything he says comes out wrong. He is the antithesis of eloquent. He is only taken seriously on the battlefield and that only after he cuts a few things in two. He would find it difficult to express things in a well received manner. Curt, rude, zero manners, and little in the way of snappy comebacks save for his Greatsword or whatever. It is as difficult to play low Charisma as it is for any other extreme stat. At a three you can't even get away with just being inocuous, you are completely obnoxious is some way. The acidically burned holes in the face and missing nose would make for a voice only a mating Chinchilla could identify with. In short a character with a 3 Charisma is not just ugly, they are an insufferable ass.
1hitparry 11-15-06, 07:44 PM	Obviously I don't know anything. XD Just ignore what I had to say.
CrimsonPhoenix 11-16-06, 12:30 AM	I like the story, and I would disagree that it is too simple. "Vanilla" could be used to describe it, but it is of the good sort of simplicity in my opinion. You should try to make a more detailed physical description and personality if you get the chance...the story itself is great. I would consider the fact that was mentioned above about the extreme Cha stat. 5-8 would make more sense, maybe at the expense of some wis/int, but I think dropping dex to a 16 would not hurt anything with the story or gameplay of the character (this is assuming you used point buy or your DM will let you change stat points around somewhat, I'm assuming you can since it would be hard to get a 3 in a stat otherwise even with a racial modifier).
LiXinjian 11-16-06, 10:03 AM	That's a perfectly fine background, while I agree there could be an additional hook or two in there if you want your DM to tailor some adventures around your PC. As is, he can only work with the Eye of Gruumsh storyline (hopefully, your DM's not dead tired of orcs). Sure, the whole "seek revenge" background has been done countless zillion times already, but it's something. If anything, it's already one hook more than what most players would submit. The pitfall of a "seek revenge" background is that it tends to make characters pretty one-sided. Either you're dealing with the object of your character's hatred, or you're not. If you are, the character comes out pretty strong (but often horribly clichéd), but if you are not, he's just *meew*. Try to shape up some goals to give your character a life when he's not cleaving orcs in two, looking for that Vridush fellow. Maybe's he's trying so hard to fit in (on many levels)? Maybe that's where his charisma deficiencies come in: ELVEN HERITAGE - Everytime he's at an inn, he gruffly asks for a glass of the finest elven wine, only to drink a sip in disgust, and spit the second sip out on the floor. "Horse ****", he snorts, and orders forth a pitcher of black ale. He just can't appreciate all those things his fellow elves like (music, wine, poetry), but he's trying, oh how he is trying!. SOCIETY - Pretty easy to see how living in society could be a problem for someone who's wearing a mask and always trying to act as if he didn't. GROUP (Friendship) - He'll do anything to make friends, but inevitably blurts out a demeaning coment at some point or another. Or he keeps forgetting that being friend with someone does not include acting as if he was the boss all the time. Etc. I also concur on the "dump stat" coments. Cha 3 is very hard to roleplay, and if you do it well, your character shouldn't have any friends at all. I'd raise it to 6 or 7 at least, to make it manageable.
ant1ers 11-16-06, 03:28 PM	Thanks for the help, y'all. First, the stats, since that seems to be a common concern. My group rolls 4d6, drop the lowest. No rerolling ones, etc. I rolled 2 17's, 16, 14, 11, 5. One of those weird ones, requiring you to have a dump stat. As to which stat to dump, when you roll a 5, and you have -2 in Con, Int, and Cha, your kind of limited lol. i was playing with the idea of switching it to Wis/Int, but I personally find it harder to roleplay a low stat in those two categories than Cha. Some notes: I like the idea of him just not fitting in with his elven heritage. It seems to me that it might just work better and better the further removed he is from his primitive village. To use your example, LiXinjian, a barbaric tribe of wood elves would likely not have all the niceties of life, such as fine elven wine, and thus he would not appreciate it like an elf should. This should lead to a bunch of taken aback denizens of the outside world, as they encounter the least refined elf they've ever seen. In regards to other motivations/goals.... the theme of attempting to fit in with the civilized world is interesting. I may play around with that for a bit. Alternatively, or perhaps simultaneously, it seems to me that an aggressive/don't look at me/hate attention type personality could nicely complicate those delicate negotiations. First proud neutral character that I tell to **** off and die, well... I don't think he'd be neutral anymore :D As a sidenote: my DM is on a dragon/undead kick recently. I want ORCS! Hordes of them, preferably lol As to personality: Perhaps his resentment at people's reactions to his visage spills over, to the point where he takes preemptive action. It is past the point of being rude when someone takes notice of his face. He is the type of guy who yells, "What in the 7 Hells are you looking at," followed by assorted vulgarities, when people are just looking at him because he's a stranger in a small town bar. Alternatively, it could just be at the point where he has effectively given up hope, existing only to kill Vridush. In this case, he does not even bother to talk with people beyond, "Trail Rations. 10 Days," when puchasing goods. In either case, it seems to me that he should have a mahor penalty when it comes to cost of goods, due to a lack of bargaining, an abrasive personality, or both. Hmm... what else. The voice! That is a brilliant idea, Daxen. A nice drop or two of acid strategicly placed near the vocal chords, and he suddenly sounds like a combination between a wheezy organ, bagpipes, and thrash metal, grating on all who hear him. And 1hit... ignore Daxen. :D I like praise lol.
LiXinjian 11-16-06, 07:28 PM	Alternatively, it could just be at the point where he has effectively given up hope, existing only to kill Vridush. In this case, he does not even bother to talk with people beyond, "Trail Rations. 10 Days," when puchasing goods. Just be sure he doesn't come out as the silent loner type. Other than that, what can I say but: Enjoy. I think you're ready to play that character and see what becomes of it.
OneWinged4ngel 11-19-06, 03:18 PM	Horrible scarring could explain an 8 Charisma not a 3. This is evidenced by the fact that the mask can reduce the effect of scars. This is a half crazed anti-orc zealot who is not good at making or keeping friends. A 3 Charisma is indicative of a person who does not speak often and when they do it is like nails on a chalk board. He is most likely vulgar in habit, appearance and manner. People do not mount a daring rescue for a person with a 3 Charisma. If he survived at all it was due to the fact that the ritual could not kill him. Everything he says comes out wrong. He is the antithesis of eloquent. He is only taken seriously on the battlefield and that only after he cuts a few things in two. He would find it difficult to express things in a well received manner. Curt, rude, zero manners, and little in the way of snappy comebacks save for his Greatsword or whatever. It is as difficult to play low Charisma as it is for any other extreme stat. At a three you can't even get away with just being inocuous, you are completely obnoxious is some way. The acidically burned holes in the face and missing nose would make for a voice only a mating Chinchilla could identify with. In short a character with a 3 Charisma is not just ugly, they are an insufferable ass. Right! Obviously I don't know anything. XD Just ignore what I had to say. Also right!