Practical Joker [Archive] - Wizards Community

Practical Joker [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
JimmytheHand
08-19-06, 08:25 AM I'm going to be playing a Jester in my next campaign and I need some help planing some practical jokes to play on the party, I've got smoke sticks, and tindertwigs. for some basics, but I'd really appreciate any help I could get on practical jokes and items I should buy.

I have about 4000gp left to spend on the character so anything you can think of would be helpful. (sorry not enough for a portable hole)
Otogi
08-19-06, 09:27 AM Heh, rubber chickens are always funny. List of Stand-Up jokes? Mabey a a clown horn.
JimmytheHand
08-19-06, 09:40 AM Heh, rubber chickens are always funny. List of Stand-Up jokes? Mabey a a clown horn.

I'll have to get some rubber chickens. anyone know a wizard with a chicken to rubber spell? :D Any other ideas would be welcome too, thanks
PiedmonSama
08-19-06, 02:19 PM Tell jokes. Here's a couple, though you may have to translate these yourself to fit in your campaign world....

"This man is walking down the street, turns the corner, and he sees this big procession coming towards him. At the front is a big, black hearse and behind that is a man with two vicious-looking Rotweilers on a leash. Behind the man with the dogs is a line of about 100 people. So the guy who sees all this goes up to the guy with the leash and says, 'what's going on?' 'These two dogs of mine killed my Mother-In-Law,' he explains. 'Oh,' says the first man. '......Say, can I borrow your dogs?' The man with the leash jerks his thumb back to the procession. 'Get in line.'"

"So this Irishman is playing golf one day, when out of the bushes jumps this little Leprechuan. The Leprechuan says to him, 'soir, soir! If'n ye give me but ten years of yoir sex loife, I'll use me magics to grant ye a hole-in-one!' The man agrees, and makes his shot. The Leprechuan smiles and says, "nae soir, if'n ye give to me the rest of yoir sex life, I'll grant ye a perfect game this day.' No one would take that deal, right? But the man immediately agrees. Now the Leprechuan's curious and he asks, 'soir, what be yer name?' The man just smiles and replies, 'Father O'Malley.'"

These are terrible, but they can be funny if you sell them right. The following are jokes that I guarantee will make you laugh, but don't tell them if children are in the room.

"So down in the South somewhere there's these two hicks. Their names are Bill, and Bob. One day Bob says to Bill, 'Bill? It's time we got ourselves that there education.' So they head over to the local Elementary School, and Bob says to Bill, 'Bill, you wait outside. I'll go talk to the Principal.'

So Bob goes to see the Principal, and the Principal says, 'Well Bob; we can teach you Math, Science, History, and Logic.'

'Wait,' says Bob, 'Logic? What's that?'

'Here Bob,' replies the Principal, 'I'll show you. Bob, do you own a lawnmower?'

'Why yes, yes I do.'

'Then through logic, I can ascertain that you own a lawn.'

'That's correct!'

'And through logic, I say if you own a lawn, you must own a house.'

'Yeah, yeah I do!'

'And if you own a house, in all probability, you is married!'

'Why yeah, Irma-Jean and I done been married thirty year!'

So Bob goes back outside to Bill and he says, 'Bill, they's gonna teach us Math, Science, History, and Logic.'

'Wait,' says Bill, 'What's Logic?'

'Well Bill,' says Bob, all proud, 'I'll show you. Bill, do you own a lawnmower?'

'Why no, Bob,' says Bill.

'In that case, Bill,' says Bob with a big grin*, 'YOU'RE A ***!'

*At this point in the joke lean forward and get in the face of whoever you're telling it to. Be sure to do your best 'Boss Hawg' impression when you tell this joke.

*

"Three men are stranded on a tropical island, but as they stroll along the beach they come across an old bottle. When they rub it, a magical genie appears. 'I'll grant you each your heart's desire,' the Genie says, 'if you can first pass my challenge.'

'What's the challenge!?' the men demand, all excited.

'First, you must go into the jungle and collect for me ten pieces of the same kind of fruit,' explains the Genie. So the men all go out. The first one comes back with a whole bushel of bananas.

'Now,' says the Genie with a smile, 'I want to see you try and fit them all up your ass, WITHOUT changing your facial expression.' So the guy does his best, but he can only fit four or five bananas up there before he's crying from the agony.

The second guy, however, is much luckier. He comes back with a handful of blueberries. The Genie gives him the same challenge, and he's doing alright, getting them up there.... seven, eight, nine.... and then suddenly he bursts out laughing, just falls on his side in uncontrollable hysterical laughter.

The Genie's more than a little shocked and says, 'what happened? You were almost there!' The guy just points a warbling finger up, and the Genie sees the third guy coming out of the trees. In his arms are ten pineapples."

So there you behold my magnificent joke repetoir. Use wisely. ;)
Curunir
08-25-06, 11:38 PM I had a lot of fun with illusions when I was playing a gnome illusionist. Since Jesters can access illusions too, it might help you.

Here's a list of favorites
-An Orc shaving his legs in the middle of a crowded market place.

-Illusory Wraiths: I used these to make a paladin I was fighting waste his time with turning attempts.

-Ghost Sound in a tavern to make everybody think a kender was scurrying around under tables gibbering excitedly. (Everybody jumped on top of their tables and scurried out of the tavern clutching their purses)

-Creating an illusion of myself while I stayed hidden. The illusion would cut his own hand off and confetti starts bleeding out or remove the top half of his skull to retrieve a document

-A huge Dark Knight completely covered in spiky armor comes in, and in a Darth Vader like voice orders milk for himself and then loudly declares thats hes buying a round of milk for everbody in the tavern.
Devlonir
08-26-06, 09:30 AM Of course.. there is the fantasy version of the famous funny-man joke in Boondock Saints:

An orc, a goblin and a dwarf walk over a beach and find a bottle. They rub over it and a djinni comes out saying: "For freeing me, I will grant you all one wish!"

So the orc says: "I want all my orc brethren to have their own material plane and live there in freedom and happiness."

The Djinni says: "Your wish is granted!" and the orc disappears.

Then the goblin says: "I want all my goblinoid brethren to have their own material plane and live there in freedom and happiness."

The Djinni says: "Your wish is granted!" and the goblin disappears. So then the Djinni turns to the dwarf and says "What is your wish?"

The dwarf says: "So all the orcs and goblinoids are no longer on this plane?" the Djinni nods "Oi, All I need is an ale then!"

:P
erbmjw
08-30-06, 02:20 AM Hat of disguise - great for practical jokes ... and your character's survival after someone get's very angry because they don't understand ( or just can't take) a joke ;)
SpawnOfMorgoth
08-30-06, 08:42 PM Oh the fun you can have with sovereign glue! (e.g. Sleight of Hand to add a drop on a sheathed weapon to make it stay that way or maybe even connect someone to their seat at the bar). (glue is 2400 gp but don't forget a couple universal sovents at 50 each so call it an even 2500 for this bag o tricks). If you are a goody two-shoes rouge type (and don't wanna visit this upon your teammates) you could still do this prank vs. a potential enemy during the parlay stage.

For that guy who did comical illusions of himself while he hid (or invisibled) why settle for obvious fakery. Do gross out or shock. Play mumbly pegs at the dinner table and have a serious oopsy-daisy! (Say, if you time it right, do this as a way to skate out and avoid paying the check during the ensuing panic as everyone near the table freaks out)

Other illusion based fun...

After the Paladin has gone to bed, use that illusion spell to masquerade as him and go pinch some maid's bottoms. If the Paladin is actually around, toss a cantrip 'pinch' as he passes the maid.

Another good use the Paladin disquise spell. Do all you obnoxious bar bets disguised as him, so he'll take the heat if there are any sore losers. You are familiar with the typical 'bar bets' right. Example, you bet the barkeep 50 gold peices that you can stand on the bar and p#$$ (urinate) into a glass 10 feet away and not spill a drop! You get up there and fail horribly and even spray the barkeep himself (but no patrons please). You pay up, but then collect 100 (or more) gold from other patrons who took you up when said "I'll bet I can p#$$ on the bartender and not only will he not get angry, he'll actually be happy about it!"

I don't know how potentially destructive you might get, or how bawdy (or even disgusting) you are willing to go. How about some guidleines and or an alignment to keep us reigned in (or does anything go?)
JimmytheHand
09-01-06, 12:01 PM Oh the fun you can have with sovereign glue! (e.g. Sleight of Hand to add a drop on a sheathed weapon to make it stay that way or maybe even connect someone to their seat at the bar). (glue is 2400 gp but don't forget a couple universal sovents at 50 each so call it an even 2500 for this bag o tricks). If you are a goody two-shoes rouge type (and don't wanna visit this upon your teammates) you could still do this prank vs. a potential enemy during the parlay stage.

I like that! I'll have to do it, I'm sure the fighter in our group will love trying to draw his sword and having it stuck! :D

As for restrictions, I'm playing a Jester (Class from on the boards) Who is CG, so nothing too cruel to the party. Sadly I'm also the face of the party, a disgusting Diplomacy skill (I think I have to roll a 8 in order to make someone go from hostile to Friendly)

The pary consists of:
An Elan Soulblade (often absent)
A Halfling Rogue
An Anthropomorphic Panther Monk
A Human Ninja
and A Human Healer

I'd like to focus on the Healer and the monk where possible as their players will see the fun in it. The Rogue and Ninja are 1st time players, but have a sense of humor so nothing too cruel.

We're now 10th level so I've given them hotfoots courtesy of tindertwigs, tanglefooted dances, swapped people's weapons as we've been walking along (the healer didn't like finding her ironwood sword switched for a metal one :D ) All fairly nice amusing stuff.
fullmetal80110
09-03-06, 05:15 PM Hmmmmmmmm

I always had fun tieing shoelaces together, or undoing the knight's saddle straps before he gets onto the horse. There is always stealing another player's item (the big bad tough barbarian for best effect) and get his weapon enchanted to say in a really fruity voice (proabably have an elf do it) say "Fabulous" whenever he swings it, have it leave a rainbow trail when he swings it, and make it pink.
TheAnthroDM
09-03-06, 05:48 PM I had the idea to play a Jester too! Could you give me a link to the Board Class?
>< XP
Galamere
09-06-06, 05:56 AM My little sis actually DLed a whole book on good practical jokes for D&D, if I can find it I'll nab it and post some of the things here, the good thing is that most of them are non-magic based, so anyone can pull them off.

Let's see...a few good ones...

when the rest of the adventures go to sleep in the in (note this only works on a two+ story inn) and there is no one around then head outside and find a cow, lead it into the inn and into one of your mate's rooms, you see a cow will walk up stairs but never down ^_^

I had a dwarf in our campaign I just could not stand (he had forced me though those rings of enslavement(I think) from the book of vile darkness, to betray some of my friends, but not seriously) however he was another player and our DM declared no killing him, so I could not really get him back. One day during a festival there was a dueling arena what, once you left, would heal all wounds and restore spells, I fought him into unconsciousness there and before the match was declared over (restoring his HP) I ran up and alchemist glued a coin with my crest on it onto his fore-head that had been given a permanent Light spell on it. Funny as hell. the DM decided that tearing it off, once he left the dual ring, would give him -1 CHA and deal some nasty damage, as well as hurt his diplomacy skill (but would up his intimidation). Until he found a way of removing it (he was not too bright) he had a little bat signal of my clan stuck on his head, lots of fun.
The Smartest Lemming
09-17-06, 01:53 AM Something that I always found to be pretty funny for a group is (if you're a magic user) when a party member you want to prank picks up a new magical weapon (or not if you're sure they can't find out it's not magical) use a spell like Ghost Sound or Wind Whisper, or any other sound that makes your voice travel, and give the weapon a voice. What you could do is write up a script for the DM before hand, so that when this occasion happens he/she is prepared to prank the player as well. You could have the weapon say anything you want. Examples are, "Your hand(s) are filthy put me down right this instant!" or "Oh I thought I smelt another (insert current running gag here)" or even "I am the great and powerful sword of Shandamalabalakazam, you, oh mighty wielder have been chosen by Shandamalabalakazam to carry out his will." You could do this as a one time thing or, continue to occasionally cast spells to have the weapon talk to your party member.

Another funny idea for other people's weapons, or your own, I got from a fellow gamer. In a high magic campaign, he got his weapon enchanted with a perminate magic mouth that would call out in a lofty voice, "Prepare to be smited by the hand of Edrick the Fair, killer of Ogneron, vanquisher of Osperious, saver of Duke Edward of Waterby (and it would continue for a good time). He would even act it out, so that for every round of combat he would have the sword say a set of words, roll his dice and determined what happened, wait till the next round, say six more words....

When I was a trickster type character in a previous campaign, I had a party rogue friend who was also playing a trickster type character, and we would always be constantly one upping each other. One of my tricks upon him was to use a perminate magic mouth and attach it to his favorite weapon so that whenever he pulled it out of a sheath it would yell out, "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU, IT'S AN AMBUSH!" He ended up never putting his knife in a sheath, and just carrying it around looped through his belt, or just in his hand. (I was the only caster in the group)

He however got me back by tyeing my spell pouch laces together in an incredibly intricate knot, as well as stealing my knife from me, right before I went off into a tricky bit of business. After that bit of terrible terrible pain, I always made sure I had at least one knock spell memorized.
Urzza
09-19-06, 06:30 PM Four words, much funny
"Hand Of The Mage"

900 gold and Mage Hand at will? Sir, Yes sir!

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
JimmytheHand 08-19-06, 08:25 AM	I'm going to be playing a Jester in my next campaign and I need some help planing some practical jokes to play on the party, I've got smoke sticks, and tindertwigs. for some basics, but I'd really appreciate any help I could get on practical jokes and items I should buy. I have about 4000gp left to spend on the character so anything you can think of would be helpful. (sorry not enough for a portable hole)
Otogi 08-19-06, 09:27 AM	Heh, rubber chickens are always funny. List of Stand-Up jokes? Mabey a a clown horn.
JimmytheHand 08-19-06, 09:40 AM	Heh, rubber chickens are always funny. List of Stand-Up jokes? Mabey a a clown horn. I'll have to get some rubber chickens. anyone know a wizard with a chicken to rubber spell? :D Any other ideas would be welcome too, thanks
PiedmonSama 08-19-06, 02:19 PM	Tell jokes. Here's a couple, though you may have to translate these yourself to fit in your campaign world.... "This man is walking down the street, turns the corner, and he sees this big procession coming towards him. At the front is a big, black hearse and behind that is a man with two vicious-looking Rotweilers on a leash. Behind the man with the dogs is a line of about 100 people. So the guy who sees all this goes up to the guy with the leash and says, 'what's going on?' 'These two dogs of mine killed my Mother-In-Law,' he explains. 'Oh,' says the first man. '......Say, can I borrow your dogs?' The man with the leash jerks his thumb back to the procession. 'Get in line.'" "So this Irishman is playing golf one day, when out of the bushes jumps this little Leprechuan. The Leprechuan says to him, 'soir, soir! If'n ye give me but ten years of yoir sex loife, I'll use me magics to grant ye a hole-in-one!' The man agrees, and makes his shot. The Leprechuan smiles and says, "nae soir, if'n ye give to me the rest of yoir sex life, I'll grant ye a perfect game this day.' No one would take that deal, right? But the man immediately agrees. Now the Leprechuan's curious and he asks, 'soir, what be yer name?' The man just smiles and replies, 'Father O'Malley.'" These are terrible, but they can be funny if you sell them right. The following are jokes that I guarantee will make you laugh, but don't tell them if children are in the room. "So down in the South somewhere there's these two hicks. Their names are Bill, and Bob. One day Bob says to Bill, 'Bill? It's time we got ourselves that there education.' So they head over to the local Elementary School, and Bob says to Bill, 'Bill, you wait outside. I'll go talk to the Principal.' So Bob goes to see the Principal, and the Principal says, 'Well Bob; we can teach you Math, Science, History, and Logic.' 'Wait,' says Bob, 'Logic? What's that?' 'Here Bob,' replies the Principal, 'I'll show you. Bob, do you own a lawnmower?' 'Why yes, yes I do.' 'Then through logic, I can ascertain that you own a lawn.' 'That's correct!' 'And through logic, I say if you own a lawn, you must own a house.' 'Yeah, yeah I do!' 'And if you own a house, in all probability, you is married!' 'Why yeah, Irma-Jean and I done been married thirty year!' So Bob goes back outside to Bill and he says, 'Bill, they's gonna teach us Math, Science, History, and Logic.' 'Wait,' says Bill, 'What's Logic?' 'Well Bill,' says Bob, all proud, 'I'll show you. Bill, do you own a lawnmower?' 'Why no, Bob,' says Bill. 'In that case, Bill,' says Bob with a big grin, 'YOU'RE A *!' At this point in the joke lean forward and get in the face of whoever you're telling it to. Be sure to do your best 'Boss Hawg' impression when you tell this joke. * "Three men are stranded on a tropical island, but as they stroll along the beach they come across an old bottle. When they rub it, a magical genie appears. 'I'll grant you each your heart's desire,' the Genie says, 'if you can first pass my challenge.' 'What's the challenge!?' the men demand, all excited. 'First, you must go into the jungle and collect for me ten pieces of the same kind of fruit,' explains the Genie. So the men all go out. The first one comes back with a whole bushel of bananas. 'Now,' says the Genie with a smile, 'I want to see you try and fit them all up your ass, WITHOUT changing your facial expression.' So the guy does his best, but he can only fit four or five bananas up there before he's crying from the agony. The second guy, however, is much luckier. He comes back with a handful of blueberries. The Genie gives him the same challenge, and he's doing alright, getting them up there.... seven, eight, nine.... and then suddenly he bursts out laughing, just falls on his side in uncontrollable hysterical laughter. The Genie's more than a little shocked and says, 'what happened? You were almost there!' The guy just points a warbling finger up, and the Genie sees the third guy coming out of the trees. In his arms are ten pineapples." So there you behold my magnificent joke repetoir. Use wisely. ;)
Curunir 08-25-06, 11:38 PM	I had a lot of fun with illusions when I was playing a gnome illusionist. Since Jesters can access illusions too, it might help you. Here's a list of favorites -An Orc shaving his legs in the middle of a crowded market place. -Illusory Wraiths: I used these to make a paladin I was fighting waste his time with turning attempts. -Ghost Sound in a tavern to make everybody think a kender was scurrying around under tables gibbering excitedly. (Everybody jumped on top of their tables and scurried out of the tavern clutching their purses) -Creating an illusion of myself while I stayed hidden. The illusion would cut his own hand off and confetti starts bleeding out or remove the top half of his skull to retrieve a document -A huge Dark Knight completely covered in spiky armor comes in, and in a Darth Vader like voice orders milk for himself and then loudly declares thats hes buying a round of milk for everbody in the tavern.
Devlonir 08-26-06, 09:30 AM	Of course.. there is the fantasy version of the famous funny-man joke in Boondock Saints: An orc, a goblin and a dwarf walk over a beach and find a bottle. They rub over it and a djinni comes out saying: "For freeing me, I will grant you all one wish!" So the orc says: "I want all my orc brethren to have their own material plane and live there in freedom and happiness." The Djinni says: "Your wish is granted!" and the orc disappears. Then the goblin says: "I want all my goblinoid brethren to have their own material plane and live there in freedom and happiness." The Djinni says: "Your wish is granted!" and the goblin disappears. So then the Djinni turns to the dwarf and says "What is your wish?" The dwarf says: "So all the orcs and goblinoids are no longer on this plane?" the Djinni nods "Oi, All I need is an ale then!" :P
erbmjw 08-30-06, 02:20 AM	Hat of disguise - great for practical jokes ... and your character's survival after someone get's very angry because they don't understand ( or just can't take) a joke ;)
SpawnOfMorgoth 08-30-06, 08:42 PM	Oh the fun you can have with sovereign glue! (e.g. Sleight of Hand to add a drop on a sheathed weapon to make it stay that way or maybe even connect someone to their seat at the bar). (glue is 2400 gp but don't forget a couple universal sovents at 50 each so call it an even 2500 for this bag o tricks). If you are a goody two-shoes rouge type (and don't wanna visit this upon your teammates) you could still do this prank vs. a potential enemy during the parlay stage. For that guy who did comical illusions of himself while he hid (or invisibled) why settle for obvious fakery. Do gross out or shock. Play mumbly pegs at the dinner table and have a serious oopsy-daisy! (Say, if you time it right, do this as a way to skate out and avoid paying the check during the ensuing panic as everyone near the table freaks out) Other illusion based fun... After the Paladin has gone to bed, use that illusion spell to masquerade as him and go pinch some maid's bottoms. If the Paladin is actually around, toss a cantrip 'pinch' as he passes the maid. Another good use the Paladin disquise spell. Do all you obnoxious bar bets disguised as him, so he'll take the heat if there are any sore losers. You are familiar with the typical 'bar bets' right. Example, you bet the barkeep 50 gold peices that you can stand on the bar and p#$$ (urinate) into a glass 10 feet away and not spill a drop! You get up there and fail horribly and even spray the barkeep himself (but no patrons please). You pay up, but then collect 100 (or more) gold from other patrons who took you up when said "I'll bet I can p#$$ on the bartender and not only will he not get angry, he'll actually be happy about it!" I don't know how potentially destructive you might get, or how bawdy (or even disgusting) you are willing to go. How about some guidleines and or an alignment to keep us reigned in (or does anything go?)
JimmytheHand 09-01-06, 12:01 PM	Oh the fun you can have with sovereign glue! (e.g. Sleight of Hand to add a drop on a sheathed weapon to make it stay that way or maybe even connect someone to their seat at the bar). (glue is 2400 gp but don't forget a couple universal sovents at 50 each so call it an even 2500 for this bag o tricks). If you are a goody two-shoes rouge type (and don't wanna visit this upon your teammates) you could still do this prank vs. a potential enemy during the parlay stage. I like that! I'll have to do it, I'm sure the fighter in our group will love trying to draw his sword and having it stuck! :D As for restrictions, I'm playing a Jester (Class from on the boards) Who is CG, so nothing too cruel to the party. Sadly I'm also the face of the party, a disgusting Diplomacy skill (I think I have to roll a 8 in order to make someone go from hostile to Friendly) The pary consists of: An Elan Soulblade (often absent) A Halfling Rogue An Anthropomorphic Panther Monk A Human Ninja and A Human Healer I'd like to focus on the Healer and the monk where possible as their players will see the fun in it. The Rogue and Ninja are 1st time players, but have a sense of humor so nothing too cruel. We're now 10th level so I've given them hotfoots courtesy of tindertwigs, tanglefooted dances, swapped people's weapons as we've been walking along (the healer didn't like finding her ironwood sword switched for a metal one :D ) All fairly nice amusing stuff.
fullmetal80110 09-03-06, 05:15 PM	Hmmmmmmmm I always had fun tieing shoelaces together, or undoing the knight's saddle straps before he gets onto the horse. There is always stealing another player's item (the big bad tough barbarian for best effect) and get his weapon enchanted to say in a really fruity voice (proabably have an elf do it) say "Fabulous" whenever he swings it, have it leave a rainbow trail when he swings it, and make it pink.
TheAnthroDM 09-03-06, 05:48 PM	I had the idea to play a Jester too! Could you give me a link to the Board Class? >< XP
Galamere 09-06-06, 05:56 AM	My little sis actually DLed a whole book on good practical jokes for D&D, if I can find it I'll nab it and post some of the things here, the good thing is that most of them are non-magic based, so anyone can pull them off. Let's see...a few good ones... when the rest of the adventures go to sleep in the in (note this only works on a two+ story inn) and there is no one around then head outside and find a cow, lead it into the inn and into one of your mate's rooms, you see a cow will walk up stairs but never down ^_^ I had a dwarf in our campaign I just could not stand (he had forced me though those rings of enslavement(I think) from the book of vile darkness, to betray some of my friends, but not seriously) however he was another player and our DM declared no killing him, so I could not really get him back. One day during a festival there was a dueling arena what, once you left, would heal all wounds and restore spells, I fought him into unconsciousness there and before the match was declared over (restoring his HP) I ran up and alchemist glued a coin with my crest on it onto his fore-head that had been given a permanent Light spell on it. Funny as hell. the DM decided that tearing it off, once he left the dual ring, would give him -1 CHA and deal some nasty damage, as well as hurt his diplomacy skill (but would up his intimidation). Until he found a way of removing it (he was not too bright) he had a little bat signal of my clan stuck on his head, lots of fun.
The Smartest Lemming 09-17-06, 01:53 AM	Something that I always found to be pretty funny for a group is (if you're a magic user) when a party member you want to prank picks up a new magical weapon (or not if you're sure they can't find out it's not magical) use a spell like Ghost Sound or Wind Whisper, or any other sound that makes your voice travel, and give the weapon a voice. What you could do is write up a script for the DM before hand, so that when this occasion happens he/she is prepared to prank the player as well. You could have the weapon say anything you want. Examples are, "Your hand(s) are filthy put me down right this instant!" or "Oh I thought I smelt another (insert current running gag here)" or even "I am the great and powerful sword of Shandamalabalakazam, you, oh mighty wielder have been chosen by Shandamalabalakazam to carry out his will." You could do this as a one time thing or, continue to occasionally cast spells to have the weapon talk to your party member. Another funny idea for other people's weapons, or your own, I got from a fellow gamer. In a high magic campaign, he got his weapon enchanted with a perminate magic mouth that would call out in a lofty voice, "Prepare to be smited by the hand of Edrick the Fair, killer of Ogneron, vanquisher of Osperious, saver of Duke Edward of Waterby (and it would continue for a good time). He would even act it out, so that for every round of combat he would have the sword say a set of words, roll his dice and determined what happened, wait till the next round, say six more words.... When I was a trickster type character in a previous campaign, I had a party rogue friend who was also playing a trickster type character, and we would always be constantly one upping each other. One of my tricks upon him was to use a perminate magic mouth and attach it to his favorite weapon so that whenever he pulled it out of a sheath it would yell out, "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU, IT'S AN AMBUSH!" He ended up never putting his knife in a sheath, and just carrying it around looped through his belt, or just in his hand. (I was the only caster in the group) He however got me back by tyeing my spell pouch laces together in an incredibly intricate knot, as well as stealing my knife from me, right before I went off into a tricky bit of business. After that bit of terrible terrible pain, I always made sure I had at least one knock spell memorized.
Urzza 09-19-06, 06:30 PM	Four words, much funny "Hand Of The Mage" 900 gold and Mage Hand at will? Sir, Yes sir!