Raith Tikaris [Archive] - Wizards Community

Raith Tikaris [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
HawkeyeL781
07-30-05, 11:21 PM I just created this character for an online campaign. It took me about an hour to write up the background but something seems to be missing. This is my second character, the first was a human paladin (how original), and his story wasn't the best. Just wondering if any has any criticism.

Character Name: Raith Tikaris
Character Race: Human
Character Class: Fighter
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Deity: Ehlonna
Size: Medium
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 200 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Skin: Tanned Caucasian
Character Region: Nomad
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Physical Appearance : Raith has a thin muscular frame. His hair is long and brown with a single braid on his right side. His hair often cover his bright green eyes. He has a well defined jaw and a sharp nose tha almost comes to a point. He wears a brown leather jerkin that matches his boots and vambraces. His leather pauldrons are eched with runes to signify his origin and his belt contains the mark of the kings of old. Under the leather his a green and brown travlers shirt and pants, along with leather greaves to protect his upper legs.

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Personality : Keeps to himself. Prefers to stay seperate from those he travels with. If he is with others, though, he will do everything in his power to keep them safe. Even though he is dark and mysterious he is willing to aid an noble cause. He beleives in the power of humans but knows they need the help of the other races.

-------------------------------------------------------

Character History :
Centuries ago a vast human kingdom ruled the land, it ruled wisely and justly, and in return they were prosperous. Many great kings sat on the throne throughout the years, all passing into history. Just as this kingdom reached the peak of their power dissention surfaced. False accusations of weakness soon led to all out rebellion. Knowing a civil war would ultimately end in defeat, whether victory was attained or not, the current king stepped down from the throne. Seeing this act of great chivalry and wisdom the rebels decided to exile him and his family instead of killing them.
Since then many kingdoms have risen and fallen. The great kingdom that once stood there was washed away from history by a flood of war and greed. The kingdom may have vanished but the bloodline of that great king still remained. After being exiled the descendent became herdsman, nomads moving about hunting game and seeking graze lands. The people took up the art of war as the need of protection arose. Barbarians, both monster and man, ravaged the tribe seeking plunder and riches. They were cast out but not completely separated. The tribe had occasional contact with established peoples, trading goods and tale. But no matter what they went through they stuck together, the family felt more safe.
Years past, children were born and men died. Soon Terrick, son of the Chief Elder, came of age and was ready to take a wife. He took Kira, the daughter of his brother Torrick, as his wife for she was beautiful. They wed and she soon gave birth to a son, Galen. Time passed and Kira bore twins, Kale and Cole. By now Terrick’s father, the Chief Elder Tor, was old and near death. The entire tribe knew Torrick would become Chief Elder since he was the eldest son. But one day the tribe was attacked by a band of orcs. The men of the Tribe fought fiercely and soon the orcs were driven away. In the heat of battle, though, Torrick son of Tor future Chief Elder was shot down by the stray arrow of an orcish archer. So too was Galen son of Terrick slain in the battle. For days Tor mourned the loss of his son until he too passed. All three bodies were buried in a hill said to be guarded by Ehlonna, goddess of the woods. The next day Terrick was pronounced Chief Elder and the tribe celebrated for many days. Soon after Kira gave birth again to a son. Terrick named him Raith, because he had great wrath towards the orcs that killed his father, brother and son. As time went on Kira gave birth three more times, all girls: Kae, Tessa and Arlin.
Raith was born on the Twentieth day of the sixth month in a vast plain by a river which has no name. He grew quickly, taking to the life of an outdoorsman. He learned to climb the tallest tree, swim the deepest lake, and jump the widest canyon both faster and better than his brothers. He made friends easily, and made as many as possible. By all accounts he was friends with all but one child, a cousin who was jealous of Raith social standings. Raith was a happy child in all respects until the day came that the birth right was to be given to the heir. Only one man was to lead the tribe, as was the tradition passed down by the first Chief Elder, Bendekar the Great. Terrick though had been blest with twin eldest sons, both of which had an equal right to leadership. When Terrick could not make a decision the elders of the tribe called for a fight between the twins, which ever yielded first would give his share of the birth right to his brother. And so the two fought. Kale, a mighty warrior, wielded a great bastard sword. Cole, who took to the stealthy path of the rouge, brandished two short swords. The battle was a terrible one, neither brother gaining the advantage over the other. Though both were greatly injured neither would yield for both desired to lead the tribe. Terrick watched on in agony as his sons ripped each other apart. Then in a majestic feat of speed and agility Cole slew his brother. But as Kale died his sword caught the leg of his brother and caused Cole to fall upon his own sword, thus passed Kale and Cole sons of Terrick Chief Elder of the tribe. With the death of his brothers Raith became the future leader of the tribe.
A traumatic event indeed, but the tribe went on. Raith’s father, knowing he would lead the tribe one day, began to teach the boy all he knew. Though many fields were taught, Raith took to a few the most. Husbandry was one of them. Raith learned to quickly saddle and bridle a horse and learned the finer points of riding. Many times he would ride about the plains for hours just clearing his mind of the past and the future. Soon he formed a bond with a mare name Aerlyn. Together they grew bigger and stronger, many times Raith rode Aerlyn into battle. Another field was Archery. Raith felt the sword was too clumsy and dangerous. He took to the bow with remarkable skill, practicing day in and day out. Before long he could shoot an arrow off his sisters head from one hundred yards (though in getting to that point there were a few near misses the lead to a hair cut for his sister and beating for him.)
All seemed to be going smoothly. Raith was becoming a great warrior and leader. His father taught him everything he knew to become Chief Elder. But secretly Raith wanted a different life. He didn’t want to be Chief Elder, he didn’t want to lead the tribe. He wanted to decided for himself what he would do. But he did as he was told in fear of dishonoring his family and bringing turmoil to his family. The blocks soon fell into place. Raith had been given his birth right and gained approval from the tribe. He had even found himself a wife. He name was Kira a distant relation of his mothers, removed by marriage when the tribe was still young. She was of the lower class, still related but not of the royal blood line meaning no one in her family could ever be Chief Elder. Seeing this large difference in class his parent disapproved of the marriage. Raith fought them long and hard eventually winning approval. The day they would be married was soon approaching, but now they were on the run. A large orc war band chased them, the same that had slain Torrick son of Tor, brother of the Terrick Chief Elder. The fled at night and rested by day, fleeing as fast as they could. For weeks they ran until they could go no further so they prepared for battle. When the orcs finally arrived their intentions were clear, complete destruction, they would kill every living thing. Soon the battle began, it lasted for two days raining torrentially the entire time. On the final day of battle Raith’s keen eyes spotted a familiar banner, that of the orc warlord. He carefully strung his bow, taking his time, he loosed his arrow so straight and precise it traveled two hundred yards in the midst of battle and ended up dead center between the warlords eyes. Victory was had, but at a great cost. Just seconds before Raith’s arrow found its mark the orc warlord slew Terrick son of Tor, Chief Elder of the tribe. Terrick was buried with his father and brother in a funeral that lasted three days. At the end of the funeral a great ceremony to appoint Raith as Chief Elder began, but he didn’t want it. He wasn’t ready for the responsibilities of Chief Elder, nor did he desire the position. So Raith fled, knowing he would have to forge his own destiny from here forth becoming the hero he always dreamt he would become.
Morka
07-31-05, 11:41 AM A great and epic story, but something sound wrong. I don't see why the tribe is nomadic. Tribes aren't nomadic just for fun, they follow the big game herds, or they use many encampments depending on the season: a cave in a cliff for winter, a few tents in the plain, near the big game flock in summer. In addition, there seem to be a cemetary somewhere.

And where are they nomadic? Do they have their own lands, or do they migrate from a land to another?
HawkeyeL781
07-31-05, 02:16 PM I don't see why the tribe is nomadic. Tribes aren't nomadic just for fun, they follow the big game herds, or they use many encampments depending on the season: a cave in a cliff for winter, a few tents in the plain, near the big game flock in summer.I see what you mean. I didn't really flesh that part out. If I had to say anything I would say its their mistrust in humans that caused them to become nomads. They saw their greed and hatered when they were exhiled. They wouldn't have settled with other races because of the vast differences in their societies.

In addition, there seem to be a cemetary somewhere.I simply added that to signify their belief in the gods and their worship of Ehlonna. I could expand upon this but I'm not sure where I could take it. With enough time and energy I could write an entire story out of that alone.

And where are they nomadic? Do they have their own lands, or do they migrate from a land to another?I didn't pick a region because I'm not familiar with the enviroment of the campaign. It takes place in the Greyhawk setting and I can't find a good map for the life of me. That and I don't want the story to contradict that of a predefined story from the region. Not to mention that fact that being this vauge I could use the same character and put him into another setting with out much change to the story.
Mysteria
07-31-05, 04:54 PM :thumbsup: Nice, I like it very much. :)

And I learnt a new word: husbandry. :)

I think I'd just add a few lines about personality. For instance, how does he feel about running away? Slightly guilty? Happy? Something in between? :)

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
HawkeyeL781 07-30-05, 11:21 PM	I just created this character for an online campaign. It took me about an hour to write up the background but something seems to be missing. This is my second character, the first was a human paladin (how original), and his story wasn't the best. Just wondering if any has any criticism. Character Name: Raith Tikaris Character Race: Human Character Class: Fighter Alignment: Chaotic Good Deity: Ehlonna Size: Medium Gender: Male Age: 19 Height: 6'1" Weight: 200 lbs. Eyes: Green Hair: Brown Skin: Tanned Caucasian Character Region: Nomad ------------------------------------------------------- Physical Appearance : Raith has a thin muscular frame. His hair is long and brown with a single braid on his right side. His hair often cover his bright green eyes. He has a well defined jaw and a sharp nose tha almost comes to a point. He wears a brown leather jerkin that matches his boots and vambraces. His leather pauldrons are eched with runes to signify his origin and his belt contains the mark of the kings of old. Under the leather his a green and brown travlers shirt and pants, along with leather greaves to protect his upper legs. ------------------------------------------------------- Personality : Keeps to himself. Prefers to stay seperate from those he travels with. If he is with others, though, he will do everything in his power to keep them safe. Even though he is dark and mysterious he is willing to aid an noble cause. He beleives in the power of humans but knows they need the help of the other races. ------------------------------------------------------- Character History : Centuries ago a vast human kingdom ruled the land, it ruled wisely and justly, and in return they were prosperous. Many great kings sat on the throne throughout the years, all passing into history. Just as this kingdom reached the peak of their power dissention surfaced. False accusations of weakness soon led to all out rebellion. Knowing a civil war would ultimately end in defeat, whether victory was attained or not, the current king stepped down from the throne. Seeing this act of great chivalry and wisdom the rebels decided to exile him and his family instead of killing them. Since then many kingdoms have risen and fallen. The great kingdom that once stood there was washed away from history by a flood of war and greed. The kingdom may have vanished but the bloodline of that great king still remained. After being exiled the descendent became herdsman, nomads moving about hunting game and seeking graze lands. The people took up the art of war as the need of protection arose. Barbarians, both monster and man, ravaged the tribe seeking plunder and riches. They were cast out but not completely separated. The tribe had occasional contact with established peoples, trading goods and tale. But no matter what they went through they stuck together, the family felt more safe. Years past, children were born and men died. Soon Terrick, son of the Chief Elder, came of age and was ready to take a wife. He took Kira, the daughter of his brother Torrick, as his wife for she was beautiful. They wed and she soon gave birth to a son, Galen. Time passed and Kira bore twins, Kale and Cole. By now Terrick’s father, the Chief Elder Tor, was old and near death. The entire tribe knew Torrick would become Chief Elder since he was the eldest son. But one day the tribe was attacked by a band of orcs. The men of the Tribe fought fiercely and soon the orcs were driven away. In the heat of battle, though, Torrick son of Tor future Chief Elder was shot down by the stray arrow of an orcish archer. So too was Galen son of Terrick slain in the battle. For days Tor mourned the loss of his son until he too passed. All three bodies were buried in a hill said to be guarded by Ehlonna, goddess of the woods. The next day Terrick was pronounced Chief Elder and the tribe celebrated for many days. Soon after Kira gave birth again to a son. Terrick named him Raith, because he had great wrath towards the orcs that killed his father, brother and son. As time went on Kira gave birth three more times, all girls: Kae, Tessa and Arlin. Raith was born on the Twentieth day of the sixth month in a vast plain by a river which has no name. He grew quickly, taking to the life of an outdoorsman. He learned to climb the tallest tree, swim the deepest lake, and jump the widest canyon both faster and better than his brothers. He made friends easily, and made as many as possible. By all accounts he was friends with all but one child, a cousin who was jealous of Raith social standings. Raith was a happy child in all respects until the day came that the birth right was to be given to the heir. Only one man was to lead the tribe, as was the tradition passed down by the first Chief Elder, Bendekar the Great. Terrick though had been blest with twin eldest sons, both of which had an equal right to leadership. When Terrick could not make a decision the elders of the tribe called for a fight between the twins, which ever yielded first would give his share of the birth right to his brother. And so the two fought. Kale, a mighty warrior, wielded a great bastard sword. Cole, who took to the stealthy path of the rouge, brandished two short swords. The battle was a terrible one, neither brother gaining the advantage over the other. Though both were greatly injured neither would yield for both desired to lead the tribe. Terrick watched on in agony as his sons ripped each other apart. Then in a majestic feat of speed and agility Cole slew his brother. But as Kale died his sword caught the leg of his brother and caused Cole to fall upon his own sword, thus passed Kale and Cole sons of Terrick Chief Elder of the tribe. With the death of his brothers Raith became the future leader of the tribe. A traumatic event indeed, but the tribe went on. Raith’s father, knowing he would lead the tribe one day, began to teach the boy all he knew. Though many fields were taught, Raith took to a few the most. Husbandry was one of them. Raith learned to quickly saddle and bridle a horse and learned the finer points of riding. Many times he would ride about the plains for hours just clearing his mind of the past and the future. Soon he formed a bond with a mare name Aerlyn. Together they grew bigger and stronger, many times Raith rode Aerlyn into battle. Another field was Archery. Raith felt the sword was too clumsy and dangerous. He took to the bow with remarkable skill, practicing day in and day out. Before long he could shoot an arrow off his sisters head from one hundred yards (though in getting to that point there were a few near misses the lead to a hair cut for his sister and beating for him.) All seemed to be going smoothly. Raith was becoming a great warrior and leader. His father taught him everything he knew to become Chief Elder. But secretly Raith wanted a different life. He didn’t want to be Chief Elder, he didn’t want to lead the tribe. He wanted to decided for himself what he would do. But he did as he was told in fear of dishonoring his family and bringing turmoil to his family. The blocks soon fell into place. Raith had been given his birth right and gained approval from the tribe. He had even found himself a wife. He name was Kira a distant relation of his mothers, removed by marriage when the tribe was still young. She was of the lower class, still related but not of the royal blood line meaning no one in her family could ever be Chief Elder. Seeing this large difference in class his parent disapproved of the marriage. Raith fought them long and hard eventually winning approval. The day they would be married was soon approaching, but now they were on the run. A large orc war band chased them, the same that had slain Torrick son of Tor, brother of the Terrick Chief Elder. The fled at night and rested by day, fleeing as fast as they could. For weeks they ran until they could go no further so they prepared for battle. When the orcs finally arrived their intentions were clear, complete destruction, they would kill every living thing. Soon the battle began, it lasted for two days raining torrentially the entire time. On the final day of battle Raith’s keen eyes spotted a familiar banner, that of the orc warlord. He carefully strung his bow, taking his time, he loosed his arrow so straight and precise it traveled two hundred yards in the midst of battle and ended up dead center between the warlords eyes. Victory was had, but at a great cost. Just seconds before Raith’s arrow found its mark the orc warlord slew Terrick son of Tor, Chief Elder of the tribe. Terrick was buried with his father and brother in a funeral that lasted three days. At the end of the funeral a great ceremony to appoint Raith as Chief Elder began, but he didn’t want it. He wasn’t ready for the responsibilities of Chief Elder, nor did he desire the position. So Raith fled, knowing he would have to forge his own destiny from here forth becoming the hero he always dreamt he would become.
Morka 07-31-05, 11:41 AM	A great and epic story, but something sound wrong. I don't see why the tribe is nomadic. Tribes aren't nomadic just for fun, they follow the big game herds, or they use many encampments depending on the season: a cave in a cliff for winter, a few tents in the plain, near the big game flock in summer. In addition, there seem to be a cemetary somewhere. And where are they nomadic? Do they have their own lands, or do they migrate from a land to another?
HawkeyeL781 07-31-05, 02:16 PM	I don't see why the tribe is nomadic. Tribes aren't nomadic just for fun, they follow the big game herds, or they use many encampments depending on the season: a cave in a cliff for winter, a few tents in the plain, near the big game flock in summer.I see what you mean. I didn't really flesh that part out. If I had to say anything I would say its their mistrust in humans that caused them to become nomads. They saw their greed and hatered when they were exhiled. They wouldn't have settled with other races because of the vast differences in their societies. In addition, there seem to be a cemetary somewhere.I simply added that to signify their belief in the gods and their worship of Ehlonna. I could expand upon this but I'm not sure where I could take it. With enough time and energy I could write an entire story out of that alone. And where are they nomadic? Do they have their own lands, or do they migrate from a land to another?I didn't pick a region because I'm not familiar with the enviroment of the campaign. It takes place in the Greyhawk setting and I can't find a good map for the life of me. That and I don't want the story to contradict that of a predefined story from the region. Not to mention that fact that being this vauge I could use the same character and put him into another setting with out much change to the story.
Mysteria 07-31-05, 04:54 PM	:thumbsup: Nice, I like it very much. :) And I learnt a new word: husbandry. :) I think I'd just add a few lines about personality. For instance, how does he feel about running away? Slightly guilty? Happy? Something in between? :)