Rate my back story [Archive] - Wizards Community

Rate my back story [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
MaximumPain
09-12-07, 12:38 AM Here is the first draft I left the city and kingdom names out so the DM could make it fit into the game. All of the character names in the story are made up by me and are not from the DMs world. Any way here we go

Edit- I should mention that this character is a Elf Rouge 2/ Scout 2 and I have permission to be a 3/4 Elf from the Dm. There is no change in the racial characteristics except for a slight adjustment to age. He says I will be an Elf for all practical purposes except for possible story line developments.

The Princess and the Thief The story of Zelanius

Alarius Dell the half Elf was a thief and a good one he had erned the nickname “the Rat” for his ability to slip out of danger. He had been hired to steal the crown jewels of the Elvin court right out of their own palace. Alarius spent years setting up the job, he got himself a place in the royal guard, he scouted the palace and found the location of the jewels, and he even researched the powerful magic wards that protected the treasures of the Elvin royalty. He also met the Elvin princess Selinus the true treasure of the Elvin royalty.

Alarius served in her personnel guard and even saved her life once when Drow assassins made an attempt on her life. That was when they fell in love but she was promised to the Elvin prince Den-Tharius from another kingdom and their love was not to be. The affair was found out and Alarius was imprisoned awaiting his execution. As a result of this affair Princess Selinus became with child. This was kept hushed as it was a massive embaresment to the royal court and could spoil the alliance that had taken over 40 years to forge. On the night before he was to be executed the princess managed to sneak the keys to Alarius and he made good his escape. The king was enraged and placed a price on his head. The princess was sent away to bear this child in secret so that the alliance could still be forged.

Zelanius was born and the princess was swept away back the court to prepare for her royal wedding. She entrusted her hand maiden to take the child to the city where Alarius was from. Unknown to her Alarius was also wanted by the thieves guild for taking a job that was not sanctioned by them and was still in hiding. The hand maiden managed to find Alarius’s uncle Dren Dell and left the boy with him before returning to her lady.

Dren and his wife Annalyn did the best they could to raise an elf in a human city. Zelanius matured slowly and was left behind by several generations of human friends. In fact most of his early childhood friends were dead of old age before he reached 60 snows. Dren and Annalyn being only humans died when Zelanius was only 50 and he was on his own. Running the street he met with the thieves guild and joined their ranks. Their leader was an old childhood friend Marius Kain. For several years Zelanius ran with the thieves guild and developed his skills. One night on a job robbing a rich merchant of his extra treasure Zelanius killed a man and not just any man it was the merchant Tarrius a powerful and connected man. While the authorities are not sure of the full detales they know that two men one bearing the description of Zelanius entered the house and killed the merchant. Both thieves are wanted for questioning and will almost surly be imprisoned for a long time if caught.

The city being to hot for him Zelanius made his way to the country side and joined with some adventuring groups his Elvin skills and thieves training helped his party survive some perilous situations. Zelanius was one of a few survivors of a failed expedition led by Vexorex the Wizard in an attempt the recover the Stone of Al-ahzard from a group of Kobolds held up in a desert cave, every one thought the Blue Dragon was a myth. One of his companions was a Halfling Thief named Butterfeet, His dieing words told Zelanius to seek out the thief master Gregorus in a faraway city because he knew where to find his father.

As of now Zelanius is looking for work and his father. He has a few friends from his adventures Grin-Grag the Half Orc Barbarian, Shrell the Human Bard and Vexorex the human wizard are the only survivors of the failed mission to the kobold caves. His friends call him Z or Easy Z. He also knows that his mother is the Queen of a far away Elvin kingdom but has no way to contact her or even prove his identity to her. Even if he could it would only embarrass her and probably get him killed.
Kraikken
09-12-07, 02:06 PM I gotta say I'm actually impressed with the background. It was written verbrose and in is more statements than a story, but as far as just piecing it all together it works up rather nicely.
I admire the attention to his maturity taking longer, and the difficulty that come with that and how he fell in with theives do to being an outcast among humans.
Usually the connection to royalty is overused but it's done with good tact in this instance, with a little character quirk that could be said on occasions, the adventuring group always rolling their eyes at his claims to royal heritage when in fact it's true.
On further development I could see him being mistaken as a younger version of his father, a near perfect image of him if it werent a face shaped by street fights and theivery/adventuring. Keeping in mind that his father is a fugitive it would make for an interesting story of mistaken identities if the DM wanted to run with it.
I'm imagining a scenario where Bounty Hunters from the city he was in are after him, (keeping in mind the party already is aware of the bounty from the merchant), and come upon him and call him his fathers name. In flight everyone thinks it's just another of your characters alias', and now your character is landed with two seperate problems. Lol.. ya as a DM I'd have fun with your story and pull from it heavy.

Kraikken, The Beast
"I fear no king with a thousand men and all the riches of the world! I fear but a single man, with a sharp blade, and nothing left to loose".
Terjon of the Blue Rose
09-13-07, 02:18 AM Kraikken is right about your style being just a tad wordy. Other than that I gotta say you did quite nicely. Left things maybe just a tad open-ended but that may well have been intentional and can work nicely if your DM wants to use your backstory. I personally am a fan of using your parents as a major part of your background. When done well it gives them a solid root in the world and you have managed that quite nicely.
meto30
09-13-07, 05:49 AM Whoa! Nice Backstory. Can I use this character in my game? I'm a newbie DM just starting to build his first DnD game... and I don't know if I can just use other's characters.
MaximumPain
09-17-07, 05:45 AM Thanks for the responses. The DM made a few minor changes but nothing major. And of course anyone who wishes can use all or part of this story for their game or character.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
MaximumPain 09-12-07, 12:38 AM	Here is the first draft I left the city and kingdom names out so the DM could make it fit into the game. All of the character names in the story are made up by me and are not from the DMs world. Any way here we go Edit- I should mention that this character is a Elf Rouge 2/ Scout 2 and I have permission to be a 3/4 Elf from the Dm. There is no change in the racial characteristics except for a slight adjustment to age. He says I will be an Elf for all practical purposes except for possible story line developments. The Princess and the Thief The story of Zelanius Alarius Dell the half Elf was a thief and a good one he had erned the nickname “the Rat” for his ability to slip out of danger. He had been hired to steal the crown jewels of the Elvin court right out of their own palace. Alarius spent years setting up the job, he got himself a place in the royal guard, he scouted the palace and found the location of the jewels, and he even researched the powerful magic wards that protected the treasures of the Elvin royalty. He also met the Elvin princess Selinus the true treasure of the Elvin royalty. Alarius served in her personnel guard and even saved her life once when Drow assassins made an attempt on her life. That was when they fell in love but she was promised to the Elvin prince Den-Tharius from another kingdom and their love was not to be. The affair was found out and Alarius was imprisoned awaiting his execution. As a result of this affair Princess Selinus became with child. This was kept hushed as it was a massive embaresment to the royal court and could spoil the alliance that had taken over 40 years to forge. On the night before he was to be executed the princess managed to sneak the keys to Alarius and he made good his escape. The king was enraged and placed a price on his head. The princess was sent away to bear this child in secret so that the alliance could still be forged. Zelanius was born and the princess was swept away back the court to prepare for her royal wedding. She entrusted her hand maiden to take the child to the city where Alarius was from. Unknown to her Alarius was also wanted by the thieves guild for taking a job that was not sanctioned by them and was still in hiding. The hand maiden managed to find Alarius’s uncle Dren Dell and left the boy with him before returning to her lady. Dren and his wife Annalyn did the best they could to raise an elf in a human city. Zelanius matured slowly and was left behind by several generations of human friends. In fact most of his early childhood friends were dead of old age before he reached 60 snows. Dren and Annalyn being only humans died when Zelanius was only 50 and he was on his own. Running the street he met with the thieves guild and joined their ranks. Their leader was an old childhood friend Marius Kain. For several years Zelanius ran with the thieves guild and developed his skills. One night on a job robbing a rich merchant of his extra treasure Zelanius killed a man and not just any man it was the merchant Tarrius a powerful and connected man. While the authorities are not sure of the full detales they know that two men one bearing the description of Zelanius entered the house and killed the merchant. Both thieves are wanted for questioning and will almost surly be imprisoned for a long time if caught. The city being to hot for him Zelanius made his way to the country side and joined with some adventuring groups his Elvin skills and thieves training helped his party survive some perilous situations. Zelanius was one of a few survivors of a failed expedition led by Vexorex the Wizard in an attempt the recover the Stone of Al-ahzard from a group of Kobolds held up in a desert cave, every one thought the Blue Dragon was a myth. One of his companions was a Halfling Thief named Butterfeet, His dieing words told Zelanius to seek out the thief master Gregorus in a faraway city because he knew where to find his father. As of now Zelanius is looking for work and his father. He has a few friends from his adventures Grin-Grag the Half Orc Barbarian, Shrell the Human Bard and Vexorex the human wizard are the only survivors of the failed mission to the kobold caves. His friends call him Z or Easy Z. He also knows that his mother is the Queen of a far away Elvin kingdom but has no way to contact her or even prove his identity to her. Even if he could it would only embarrass her and probably get him killed.
Kraikken 09-12-07, 02:06 PM	I gotta say I'm actually impressed with the background. It was written verbrose and in is more statements than a story, but as far as just piecing it all together it works up rather nicely. I admire the attention to his maturity taking longer, and the difficulty that come with that and how he fell in with theives do to being an outcast among humans. Usually the connection to royalty is overused but it's done with good tact in this instance, with a little character quirk that could be said on occasions, the adventuring group always rolling their eyes at his claims to royal heritage when in fact it's true. On further development I could see him being mistaken as a younger version of his father, a near perfect image of him if it werent a face shaped by street fights and theivery/adventuring. Keeping in mind that his father is a fugitive it would make for an interesting story of mistaken identities if the DM wanted to run with it. I'm imagining a scenario where Bounty Hunters from the city he was in are after him, (keeping in mind the party already is aware of the bounty from the merchant), and come upon him and call him his fathers name. In flight everyone thinks it's just another of your characters alias', and now your character is landed with two seperate problems. Lol.. ya as a DM I'd have fun with your story and pull from it heavy. Kraikken, The Beast "I fear no king with a thousand men and all the riches of the world! I fear but a single man, with a sharp blade, and nothing left to loose".
Terjon of the Blue Rose 09-13-07, 02:18 AM	Kraikken is right about your style being just a tad wordy. Other than that I gotta say you did quite nicely. Left things maybe just a tad open-ended but that may well have been intentional and can work nicely if your DM wants to use your backstory. I personally am a fan of using your parents as a major part of your background. When done well it gives them a solid root in the world and you have managed that quite nicely.
meto30 09-13-07, 05:49 AM	Whoa! Nice Backstory. Can I use this character in my game? I'm a newbie DM just starting to build his first DnD game... and I don't know if I can just use other's characters.
MaximumPain 09-17-07, 05:45 AM	Thanks for the responses. The DM made a few minor changes but nothing major. And of course anyone who wishes can use all or part of this story for their game or character.