Post/Author/DateTime	Post
TheCrimsonWolf 01-21-08, 12:46 AM	Sorry if this isn't the right board :P My friends and I are planning to start playing D&D and we're heading out to a shop to check it out and buy some stuff, but my question is; I know it's RPing so it's okay, but I wanted to create and play a female character even though I'm a guy. Is this common and/or acceptable when playing with others?
I_roll_ones 01-21-08, 01:39 AM	Depends on the people, their maturity level, ideas of Role-play, etc. However, you are not RPing with us, you are RPing with them. Ask them and ask them WHY. Speaking as a female, I'm going to say that RPing the opposite gender is alright, provided that the female in question is done appropriately. Do you have a concept for your character yet?
TheCrimsonWolf 01-21-08, 01:53 AM	I do yes, it's one i've been working on for quite some time and i'm very happy with it. Also, I do a lot of fantasy writing just for fun anyway so I know what makes a good character. My friends would be a bit cynical, but they wouldn't care really. I'm just interested to know how acceptable it was in the general community.
CrimsonDeath 01-21-08, 01:22 PM	Sorry if this isn't the right board :P My friends and I are planning to start playing D&D and we're heading out to a shop to check it out and buy some stuff, but my question is; I know it's RPing so it's okay, but I wanted to create and play a female character even though I'm a guy. Is this common and/or acceptable when playing with others? I've done it before. I'm currently in a group (not D&D but an RP group nonetheless) with two girls playing guys and a guy playing a girl is about to join. But I agree it's probably a good idea to ask. I played a female character in one group, and the first thing that happened is that one of the other PCs sold me to a brothel ;.; (Of course, I was a grapple-focused Monk, so I probably would've been fine, but still...)
Toran Ironfinder 01-21-08, 03:21 PM	The other thing you have to be very careful about is that a lot of people will be very sensitive to how you handle the character - if you roleplay a woman, and there are women in your group, they may be very thin skinned about actions you take, even though they are fine for you to RP a woman. I'd be careful with this, if I were you.
Firaeki 01-21-08, 04:22 PM	To be honest, there's nothing wrong with RPing the opposite gender. After all, we DO play elves and warlocks and all, and I can't say I've ever seen an elf at my table, and none of my players cast eldritch blast at the dice when they roll poorly. Just so long as you're not making the character a girl for some reason that would disrupt the game (like deciding to play out some erotica fantasy of yours at my table) I'm fine with it.
Akisa 01-21-08, 11:20 PM	I noticed people are more willing to accept me playing as male oppose to someone playing female.
Toran Ironfinder 01-22-08, 04:26 PM	I noticed people are more willing to accept me playing as male oppose to someone playing female. Yeah, thats the thing, due to the gender tensions in our society, if you RP a woman, and there is any flaw in the character, then a lot of women will assume that you think this is true of all women; i.e. if the character has a low charisma, so you play her as being somewhat brittle, then they assume that you think all women are brittle, etc. I don't know why it doesn't work the other way, but it doesn't.
I_roll_ones 01-22-08, 09:41 PM	I would say a bad reaction to males trying to RP a fantasy of theirs out with the female character would be a more common reaction. If I ever DM and see one of those(and it's really bad) and the player refuses to fix the character, I'll shoot her with lightning or force a gender swap. How many times have women RPers cried out against males playing females? I've done pen and paper with many females and none cared about males playing females, so I've never seen it happen. I also wonder why males never seem to care how much of a flawed character females play when they play males. I remember my sister being an arrogant, socially inept engineer, who was brilliant but couldn't open his mouth or he'll **** someone off. And then I played a male security officer who had the same amount of social skills, a screwed up but large sense of machoness who resorted easily to violence. Oddly, the male player(The one who could actually talk to people and not anger them) and the male DM had no issues with it. However, if a female does, simply tell her that you are playing a flawed character, and point to flawed male characters, ESPECIALLY if they have the same, similar or worse trait. And don't sell her to a brothel, that might not go well with other female gamers.
CrimsonDeath 01-23-08, 02:40 AM	And don't sell her to a brothel, that might not go well with other female gamers. Well, one of the other PCs did help me bust out, so it worked out okay...
I_roll_ones 01-24-08, 02:27 PM	Well, one of the other PCs did help me bust out, so it worked out okay... Not saying you did anything wrong, but springing that on someone you don't know or don't know how they'll react might not end up good and might make the situation of RPing a female seem like he's doing it to get kidnapped. I'd be weirded out certainly, and wondering where the campaign is going next.
Elf_Jedi 01-25-08, 01:48 AM	I never let players play as the opposite gender. They just don't play that character right, it just makes alot of the game feel "unnatural".
rydi123 01-25-08, 02:02 PM	i play cross sex characters often, as well as cross sexual preference in both sexes. once people get over their wierdness, usually from not knowing how to relate to you, the player, as the opposite sex from what you are, it usually works out ok... unless you are in a group that isn't very open minded, or mature, in which case you will take some ribbing and possibly some rejection for doing so. personally, to find a well balanced cast for a story, i find that i often have to encourage some of my male players to be female just so that i can have some around (i like having diversity in my parties, but it seems like the natural tendency is for a party full of male humans to pop up. go figure). that said though, in D&D it is often less important than other games. why? because there is often less of an RP focus and more of a combat focus. this most definitely isn't always true, but it often is. so if that is your group, you probably won't find there to be much difference at all when playing a female, except in your perceptions of the character and its flavor.
NorthSaber 01-30-08, 04:03 AM	About half my characters are male, half female, and it hasn't caused any problems yet. As long as you don't fall into potentially offensive stereotypes, I don't see the difference between playing a member of the opposite sex and playing an elf - you can't truly understand either. However, there are probably less differences than you may think. If the character's motive has been established (for example, to get rich quick), the vast majority of your actions are based on that - gender or race have little influence. (A female character might seduce a male NPC if it suited her interests, the same as a male character might try to indimitate him - both are Cha-based skills, and can be handled with a roll of the d20.) As to the small differences, you can try to observe people you know, see if several of them do something differently from yourself. In a medieval-type world, many female people are raised in a situation where they don't have much say in decisions concerning their lives, and may develop shy or subdued personalities - but these are probably not the types to become PCs. Many women are also more interested in taking care of others, but not by all means all. So really you could play your character just like you play a guy, and it would be plausible. The most imporant thing, in my opinion, is to figure out your character's motivation and objectives, and whether gender has any influence on it. Most women who end up as PCs are independent and strong, and there may not be any difference after all. Once you figure out the motivation, most men and women would pretty much do the same exact things to reach their objectives, depending on their individual talents. Whether women are less logical or strong has nothing to do with playing a female PC - just look at your character sheet and you'll see the Int, Wis and Str right there. (And I'm not saying that women are less logical or strong in real life, although I'm sure we can all agree that women have different strengths than men.) My female characters tend to be more acutely aware of their position in the society, and the pecking order within the group, than my male characters. My female characters also tend to be more likely to have their own, secret goals - my male characters tend to be more team-players. But these are just my personal preferences, and the same traits could be attributed to any character based on their background and upbringing, regardless of gender or race. So yeah, go for it, and see how your group reacts! Trying to figure out how a person of another gender, race - or alignment - thinks and acts is a part of why I like RPGs so much!
CrimsonDeath 01-30-08, 04:24 AM	My female characters tend to be more acutely aware of their position in the society, and the pecking order within the group, than my male characters. My female characters also tend to be more likely to have their own, secret goals - my male characters tend to be more team-players. But these are just my personal preferences, and the same traits could be attributed to any character based on their background and upbringing, regardless of gender or race. Interesting that you should mention that. Now that I think of it, my female characters tend to be more assertive than my male characters. I'm not absolutely certain why.
Pillow_Pants 01-30-08, 05:16 PM	Well, this is based more on class choices than gender, but it seems like every time I play a female character, she ends up more powerful than any males I have played. In fact, one got booted from the game for upsetting game balance and negatively affecting the campaign because of power level. (A level 12 character should not be able to one hit an adult gold dragon, but what do you know, she did).
LoneStranger 02-04-08, 06:46 PM	First off welcome to the hobby TheCrimsonWolf, good choice if I do say so myself. ;) Now to answer your question I've found it has less to do with the mere fact that a person is running a character of the opposite gender and more how good (or bad) of a job you do playing the character. I've known some male players to run female characters and it's usually not a big problem overall. I've seen the occasional time where female players run male characters and usually do a pretty decent job of it. The biggest problem is when someone (usually male with a female character) runs a character based on their skewed perception/dream/whatever that turns the character into a bad joke and an even worse stereotype of "what's expected" out of that gender. One piece of advice I can give you overall for however long you do anything with roleplaying games is allow your character space to grow. If you play a female character who wouldn't think of entering combat come up with why she wouldn't and what possible kinds of actions could cause her to change her beliefs. Or if you decide to play a completely self-absorbed character who only thinks 'myself first' (male or female) try to think why that happened and don't be afraid to let events in the campaign change your outlook. It's not the fact you're trying to do something different, it's how you carry yourself as you're making the attempt.
Iktomi 02-09-08, 02:12 AM	I never let players play as the opposite gender. They just don't play that character right, it just makes alot of the game feel "unnatural". Any DM HAS to play the opposite gender occasionally, and it doesn't destroy the realism of the game when they do it. It can be done poorly, of course, but I refuse to believe that a man CAN'T convincingly play the role of a woman or vice versa. Of course, that being said, you should always do what's best for your game. If you as DM or your players aren't comfortable with cross-gender RPing, by all means disallow it.
pigknight 02-09-08, 11:19 PM	Do NOT play out your sick twisted fantasies and you will be okay.
Roivas 02-10-08, 03:27 PM	See above for concurrence. Personally I have a weird tradition, I can't remember how it started but every forth character I roll a d6 to determine my gender if I roll below a 3 female. It is always a challenge to play a female but since I also GM and 51% of my world's populace is women I have to take the time to roleplay their personalities anyway. Just remember that like people all women are different and will have different persoanlities, if the other players can keep this in mind they shouldn't find anything you do too strange [to degrees, see above]. Though I will say one thing I have banned some players from playing women as they repeated use it as a method to attempt to gain "free" items by selling themselves. I get them back though with a nice healthy dose of middle ages sexism.
Aaarrrgh 02-11-08, 09:08 AM	Just remember that like people all women are different and will have different persoanlities Are you saying women aren't people? :P
HaplessWithDice 02-11-08, 06:08 PM	The biget problem we have noticed in our group is that we sometimes get some gender pronoun confusion. Afterall it sometimes gets hard to remember that the girl across from you is playing a girl, when everyone else is playing there gender. Though I don't play female characters. I made one, played her, and realised my female side is a rampageing b*tch.
Shiftkitty 02-15-08, 10:32 PM	I am female, VERRRRRY heterosexual (Silly drow girls! Boys are for lovin'!), and I almost always run male characters. I haven't been a player for awhile now, but my PCs have become DMPCs and very few are female. In fact, only one living female PC remains out of four. (Dixonna died from friendly fire in a dungeon, Andala died during a war, Marie was killed by her insanely jealous husband, Maxine rides with the Githyanki, a culture she feels strangely at home with.) Only my brother ever wanted to play a female character out of my almost all-male groups, and tended to play them as these over-idealized seductresses who played men for all they had and never gave anything in return. As soon as the other players stopped falling for his PCs lines, he'd get bored and try to kill her off with suicide moves. Made us wonder if there was reason he liked all that male attention...:uh-huh:
Shiftkitty 02-15-08, 10:39 PM	Oh, wait. I did recently make a new female DMPC. How could I forget? Minomph (one of Gromph Baenre's many squirtlings) was created for the "F-Troop" campaign, which is pretty far from serious, although sometimes they do things that count in the main campaign. She's sort of the Shirley Temple of Menzoberranzan. Attractive and innocent (read: clueless), she goes through life in the Underdark with a smile on her lips and song in her heart and more than a few daggers pointed at her back. ("I swear, if she bursts into song one more time, I'm gonna stick her! I'll do it! I swear!")
takewithfood 02-16-08, 02:33 AM	Hey gang, I always find this topic interesting. When I first started playing D&D my characters were essentially lifeless; they had my thoughts, my personality, my likes and dislikes, etc. I gave them names, chose a race and class, but I never gave their personalities or backgrounds much thought. As I started to developing their personalities, I started thinking of my characters as different people, rather than as extensions of myself. Once I did that, I never gave the "should I play a female character, even though I'm a guy?" question any thought. About half of my characters are female, now - in fact, I'd say slightly more of them are female. I can't exactly say why, but when I come up with a character, they always "feel" one way or the other. I honestly can't say that there are any real differences in the way I play them. I never tell myself "Jaina is a woman, so she should act this way" or anything like that, though I do try to keep in mind social norms of the society that produced the character in question. I tend not to play many 18 Strength female characters, but I have, twice. (Admittedly, one was a dwarf, the other a half-orc; female half-orc grapplers are frightening!) Don't by into the "women are dainty but charismatic" stereotype. Anyone who thinks that women aren't capable of strength equivalent to an 18 or better have obviously never seen a women's bodybuilding competition. O_O' I've also played some very confusing characters, gender-wise. I played a female elven swashbuckler who died and was reincarnated (as luck would have it) as a male dwarf, and I am looking forward to playing a female Bard/Paladin(of Freedom)/Mountebank who's primary alter-ego is a male, Zoro-esque masked hero. It's fun stuff. ^_^ My advice: Don't try too hard to play your gender or you'll wind up with a lot of stereotypes. I'd wager that 99 out of 100 new D&D players will play their first dwarf as a gruff, boisterous, ale-guzzler with a Scottish accent because they're trying too hard to be a Dwarf. Play her personality, her behaviour, her quirks and mannerisms, and everything else will fall into place. Good luck to all of you, ~TWF