Scion of Orien Reviews wanted [Archive] - Wizards Community

Scion of Orien Reviews wanted [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Bladedancer
04-08-08, 10:53 AM We are starting up an Eberron campaign which will be my first foray into this campaign setting. I would like any to hear any thoughts on on this background either good or bad.

Name:Andrev D'Orien Race: human Class: Wizard Level:3
Class: Wizard 3 Age: 24

Description: Andrev is hulking brute standing 6'6" and weighing in at 260 lbs. He moves with the sinewy grace of a warrior and surprises many when they find out he is a mage. He has long black that he usually ties in a ponytail. He has a crimson Orien dragon mark that runs from the base of his neck to the small of his back. He has a small azure tattoo of the Deneith Mark of Sentinel on his right shoulder as a tribute to his mother.

Personality: Andrev is cold and arrogant to those he doesn't trust. While to those trusts he shows a warm and loving side that others would scarcely believe is the same person.

Philosophy: The rebuilding of the power of House Orien is paramount. To achieve that power involves building personal power. People are merely stepping stones to power (unless family) Family is all. Violence is the tool of last resort. When battle is inevitable do not hold anything back.

Background: Parents:Andrev is the product of an affair between two dragonmarked heirs his father is the mage Thorn D'Orien his mother the warrior Aerial D' Deneith a Sentinel Warden. Andrev's parents met while in pursuit of the same bandit group that had robbed two lightning rails. While independently searching for the bandits their paths kept crossing. Thorn eventually suggested that they join forces to bring down the bandits. She agreed and after a few days she coyly suggested that it was cold in her blanket and she needed to be warmed up..... Andrev was born 9 months later

Early life: With parents both being Scions of Dragonmarked houses it was decided that the boy would be fostered in both houses every other year until it was determined if and which dragonmark he would manifest. Andrev was quickly growing into a large but brilliant child. His mother taught him the basics of fighting at an early age (militia feat) where he quickly grasped the ebb and flow of combat. His father encouraged his scholarly side and let the boy indulge himself in his own massive library in the house home base of Passage.

Adolescence: It was at this time after manifesting Least Mark of Passage his training was thrown to his father as House Orien claimed him as it's own. He was showing an aptitude for magic as well much to father's delight and was trained as a wizard. His father discouraged his interest in battle but the boy longed for the weapon's training he learned from his mother. As a compromise to his young son Thorn turned over his training to a crusty old battlemage named Jalen who was also a war weaver. The boy quickly absorbed his lessons in learning the art of using magic in battle.

Late teens to early twenties: After finishing his training with Jalen the boy was indoctrated into the House philosophy of putt ing the house first, your family second and yourself third. Andrev soon developed a taste for power and through his father he learned that knowledge IS power. The mind hungry teen tore through his fathers library with a vengeance. At the age of 17 he begged his father to be let out into the real world and start earning his keep and to quench his thirst for more knowledge. From 17 on Andrev has served as protection for various lightning rails and caravans that have traveled all over Khorvaire. It was during these forays he was introduced to his half-brother Renick a cleric of the Soveign Host who was also dragon marked . The usual sullen and arrogant mageling swiftly warmed up to his sibling. They quickly formed a formidable team in battle with an almost uncanny sense of how best to use their respective abilities to complement each other. While normally not much of a believer in the gods he puts on a show for his brother to appease the cleric.

Currently: After proving their worth to the house guarding the caravans and lightning rails the the elders have decided to let the brothers freelance with the understanding that they could be called back to serve the house at any time.
Terjon of the Blue Rose
04-12-08, 03:35 AM I don't have time to read the whole thing but you are NOT the child of the scions of two houses. It's illegal for members of dragonmarked houses to marry/have children as the result is abberant dragonmarks.
Terjon of the Blue Rose
04-12-08, 10:14 PM Alright. Had a chance to read everything. Other than changing it so that your father was a Deneith mercenary rather than an actual member of the house you seem to have a nice set-up. If your truly set on the idea that dad was an actual house member than make him the son of someone who was adopted into the house and not someone who bore an actual dragon-mark himself.

There is no chance to develope a Deneith dragonmark but your father might well have spent a great deal of time in the service of the Oriens. Your mother having hired him on whenever possible after their trist. It becomes something of an open secret to both families that you're his child and this is tolerated because he didn't have the potential to pass on a dragon mark resulting in no chance of an abberant mark.

The only other thing I would add would be there isn't much picture of who the character himself is. He is a devoted house scion but not much beyond that. The personality section could use a few extra sections and maybe an example. Perhaps the reason he is so cold and arrogant is a mild disdain from many family members as a result of his cross-family heritage? It would even do a good bit in explaining his extraordinary devotion to his house.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Bladedancer 04-08-08, 10:53 AM	We are starting up an Eberron campaign which will be my first foray into this campaign setting. I would like any to hear any thoughts on on this background either good or bad. Name:Andrev D'Orien Race: human Class: Wizard Level:3 Class: Wizard 3 Age: 24 Description: Andrev is hulking brute standing 6'6" and weighing in at 260 lbs. He moves with the sinewy grace of a warrior and surprises many when they find out he is a mage. He has long black that he usually ties in a ponytail. He has a crimson Orien dragon mark that runs from the base of his neck to the small of his back. He has a small azure tattoo of the Deneith Mark of Sentinel on his right shoulder as a tribute to his mother. Personality: Andrev is cold and arrogant to those he doesn't trust. While to those trusts he shows a warm and loving side that others would scarcely believe is the same person. Philosophy: The rebuilding of the power of House Orien is paramount. To achieve that power involves building personal power. People are merely stepping stones to power (unless family) Family is all. Violence is the tool of last resort. When battle is inevitable do not hold anything back. Background: Parents:Andrev is the product of an affair between two dragonmarked heirs his father is the mage Thorn D'Orien his mother the warrior Aerial D' Deneith a Sentinel Warden. Andrev's parents met while in pursuit of the same bandit group that had robbed two lightning rails. While independently searching for the bandits their paths kept crossing. Thorn eventually suggested that they join forces to bring down the bandits. She agreed and after a few days she coyly suggested that it was cold in her blanket and she needed to be warmed up..... Andrev was born 9 months later Early life: With parents both being Scions of Dragonmarked houses it was decided that the boy would be fostered in both houses every other year until it was determined if and which dragonmark he would manifest. Andrev was quickly growing into a large but brilliant child. His mother taught him the basics of fighting at an early age (militia feat) where he quickly grasped the ebb and flow of combat. His father encouraged his scholarly side and let the boy indulge himself in his own massive library in the house home base of Passage. Adolescence: It was at this time after manifesting Least Mark of Passage his training was thrown to his father as House Orien claimed him as it's own. He was showing an aptitude for magic as well much to father's delight and was trained as a wizard. His father discouraged his interest in battle but the boy longed for the weapon's training he learned from his mother. As a compromise to his young son Thorn turned over his training to a crusty old battlemage named Jalen who was also a war weaver. The boy quickly absorbed his lessons in learning the art of using magic in battle. Late teens to early twenties: After finishing his training with Jalen the boy was indoctrated into the House philosophy of putt ing the house first, your family second and yourself third. Andrev soon developed a taste for power and through his father he learned that knowledge IS power. The mind hungry teen tore through his fathers library with a vengeance. At the age of 17 he begged his father to be let out into the real world and start earning his keep and to quench his thirst for more knowledge. From 17 on Andrev has served as protection for various lightning rails and caravans that have traveled all over Khorvaire. It was during these forays he was introduced to his half-brother Renick a cleric of the Soveign Host who was also dragon marked . The usual sullen and arrogant mageling swiftly warmed up to his sibling. They quickly formed a formidable team in battle with an almost uncanny sense of how best to use their respective abilities to complement each other. While normally not much of a believer in the gods he puts on a show for his brother to appease the cleric. Currently: After proving their worth to the house guarding the caravans and lightning rails the the elders have decided to let the brothers freelance with the understanding that they could be called back to serve the house at any time.
Terjon of the Blue Rose 04-12-08, 03:35 AM	I don't have time to read the whole thing but you are NOT the child of the scions of two houses. It's illegal for members of dragonmarked houses to marry/have children as the result is abberant dragonmarks.
Terjon of the Blue Rose 04-12-08, 10:14 PM	Alright. Had a chance to read everything. Other than changing it so that your father was a Deneith mercenary rather than an actual member of the house you seem to have a nice set-up. If your truly set on the idea that dad was an actual house member than make him the son of someone who was adopted into the house and not someone who bore an actual dragon-mark himself. There is no chance to develope a Deneith dragonmark but your father might well have spent a great deal of time in the service of the Oriens. Your mother having hired him on whenever possible after their trist. It becomes something of an open secret to both families that you're his child and this is tolerated because he didn't have the potential to pass on a dragon mark resulting in no chance of an abberant mark. The only other thing I would add would be there isn't much picture of who the character himself is. He is a devoted house scion but not much beyond that. The personality section could use a few extra sections and maybe an example. Perhaps the reason he is so cold and arrogant is a mild disdain from many family members as a result of his cross-family heritage? It would even do a good bit in explaining his extraordinary devotion to his house.