Story I dug up... [Archive] - Wizards Community

Story I dug up... [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Khadmus
09-23-07, 08:32 AM Aramil Nailo began his life in a rather insular gray elf city, where he was taught racial pride throughout most of his childhood. This racial pride inspired him to apply to the local temple of Corellon Larethian. They were just about to accept him when they asked him to provide a detailed list of his reasons for enlisting. Needless to say, “I want to help raise the elves to world domination on a stairwell of broken corpses” did not go over well with the clergy.
Unfazed, Aramil decided to take an alternative path to divine magic: that of the archivist. Luckily for him, there just happened to be an archivist in the city. Much to his displeasure, she was a human. Wrestling with the problem of whether to compromise his racist views in order to promote them, he realized something. As a human once said, “Power is not a means, it is an end.” Aramil, however, was able to suppress this thought and offer some suitable rhetoric in its stead.
The human turned out to be rather lacking in morals, and this rubbed off on Aramil. A benefit of this training was that Aramil gained a grudging respect towards humanity. After gaining some rudimentary skills, he came out and portrayed himself as reformed. He went on an adventuring career, which conveniently gave him little time at home for his “reformed” lie to be detected.
Aramil’s career was a huge success, acquiring wealth at nearly 3 times the standard rate. By the time he could cast Cure Critical Wounds, he had a small fortune. He could have started a hamlet with that money, paying for every house out of this pocket. Aramil was not of such a philanthropic bent, though, and invested in something that would pay for itself. For the next 2 decades, he raised ankhegs in a mountain cave complex.
Aramil had quite some time in isolation to foster his hatred. When he finally finished training his troupe of ankhegs, he decided to attack an age-old nuisance to the elves: the dwarves. He was successful...too successful. He was attacked by a group of dwarven commandos. Aramil had been informed of this by his daily divinations, and was prepared with an escape tunnel. The ankhegs simply burrowed away.
Aramil decided to seek easier, less organized prey. He also decided to try and stay away from the shady side of the law. Finally, a thought occurred to him. He would use a forest as a “home base” while attacking goblins living in the nearby plains. He could expect help from humans, fellow elves, and miscellaneous cannon fodder such as centaurs, forest gnomes, etc. If he grew bored of watching goblins scream, he could pillage some insignificant thorp.
Aramil wandered through the woods, looking for a suitable secret lair. He then came across an old, abandoned tower. Though the “secrecy” aspect might be a bit lacking, he decided to give it a look.

How is it? Not necessarily in practicality (I definitely can't see this as a PC, and it might be an odd NPC), but in construction, eloquence, and realism.
JulesCARV
10-04-07, 06:35 PM It works well as a background in general, but I have to say I don't really get much of a sense of what it's like to be like Aramil Nailo. He just seems to fluctuate between bigotry and greed.

In short, it works well as an omniscient outsider's description of Aramil's actions and apparent motivations, but it doesn't really get inside his head, which leaves me without much of a sense of him as a "real" person.
olpolok
10-04-07, 11:53 PM His utter lack of failure makes him a bit boring. He is a bit too successful for my taste. It would be nice if you specify how he made SO much money. This kind of character tends to get killed sooner or later more sooner than late and he probably has lots of enemies who try to assassinate him. Other than him being smart, antisocial, machiavellic and racist there is not much said of him as a person. He is definitely BBEG material.

Check this out http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=928919
Khadmus
10-07-07, 04:41 PM So,
1) Emphasize his actual character.
2) Tell his full story, with his future failures.

These flaws (major ones, but still) are probably because this was a character I was going to play (in an unusual game). Hence, the character would be emphasized in-game and the story would be developed as the game. I will post an improved story eventually.
Khadmus
10-07-07, 07:26 PM Continued...
This tower turned out to have magical properties, and Aramil used it to form minions out of pure dreamstuff. He managed good PR, but a vigilante eventually saw through his ruse and went to assault him.
The vigilante, along with his adventuring comrades, outsmarted his way past Aramil's guards. Finally, they reached Aramil. All of them but the vigilante were killed. The vigilante, however, was stabilized before he could die. Aramil proceeded to organize a public execution, to improve troop morale. Before the vigilante was killed, Aramil opened a flask of good elven wine to toast the occasion. He, along with his top lieutenants, were poisoned by the drink and eventually died. The vigilante, however, escaped.
This was not the end for Aramil. A gnome indebted to him took his ear to have Aramil returned to life. The gnome, being a prankster, decided to have Aramil reincarnated instead of simply raised. Aramil, the bigoted racist elf, returned as a dwarf. A dwarf with a countenance to match his ugly heart. Aramil remained sane by discarding the excuses he had used in the past. From now on, it was all about the pursuit of power.
Aramil laid low for a while, pondering over religious texts in the hopes of gaining wisdom. He observed the downfall of other villains. To observe such downfalls firsthand (and to add some well-needed coin to his purse), Aramil returned to his old career of adventuring.
Druing this time, he very nearly turned back to the light. Another death (a total party kill, in fact) knocked any such notions of redemption out of his head. After Aramil and his party were raised, they decided to part ways; decidedly shocked by the ease with which they died. Following his second death, Aramil read books on good management, thinking that an army of bodies would be a good buffer.
Finally, he burst back onto the villainous scene. Summoning undead, constructs, dwarves (Aramil still retained much of his knowledge of racist rhetoric, and could adapt it to the dwarves fairly easily), and various mercenaries, Aramil carved out a mountain stronghold and began a search for items of power.

Still didn't get inside his head...I have to work on that.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Khadmus 09-23-07, 08:32 AM	Aramil Nailo began his life in a rather insular gray elf city, where he was taught racial pride throughout most of his childhood. This racial pride inspired him to apply to the local temple of Corellon Larethian. They were just about to accept him when they asked him to provide a detailed list of his reasons for enlisting. Needless to say, “I want to help raise the elves to world domination on a stairwell of broken corpses” did not go over well with the clergy. Unfazed, Aramil decided to take an alternative path to divine magic: that of the archivist. Luckily for him, there just happened to be an archivist in the city. Much to his displeasure, she was a human. Wrestling with the problem of whether to compromise his racist views in order to promote them, he realized something. As a human once said, “Power is not a means, it is an end.” Aramil, however, was able to suppress this thought and offer some suitable rhetoric in its stead. The human turned out to be rather lacking in morals, and this rubbed off on Aramil. A benefit of this training was that Aramil gained a grudging respect towards humanity. After gaining some rudimentary skills, he came out and portrayed himself as reformed. He went on an adventuring career, which conveniently gave him little time at home for his “reformed” lie to be detected. Aramil’s career was a huge success, acquiring wealth at nearly 3 times the standard rate. By the time he could cast Cure Critical Wounds, he had a small fortune. He could have started a hamlet with that money, paying for every house out of this pocket. Aramil was not of such a philanthropic bent, though, and invested in something that would pay for itself. For the next 2 decades, he raised ankhegs in a mountain cave complex. Aramil had quite some time in isolation to foster his hatred. When he finally finished training his troupe of ankhegs, he decided to attack an age-old nuisance to the elves: the dwarves. He was successful...too successful. He was attacked by a group of dwarven commandos. Aramil had been informed of this by his daily divinations, and was prepared with an escape tunnel. The ankhegs simply burrowed away. Aramil decided to seek easier, less organized prey. He also decided to try and stay away from the shady side of the law. Finally, a thought occurred to him. He would use a forest as a “home base” while attacking goblins living in the nearby plains. He could expect help from humans, fellow elves, and miscellaneous cannon fodder such as centaurs, forest gnomes, etc. If he grew bored of watching goblins scream, he could pillage some insignificant thorp. Aramil wandered through the woods, looking for a suitable secret lair. He then came across an old, abandoned tower. Though the “secrecy” aspect might be a bit lacking, he decided to give it a look. How is it? Not necessarily in practicality (I definitely can't see this as a PC, and it might be an odd NPC), but in construction, eloquence, and realism.
JulesCARV 10-04-07, 06:35 PM	It works well as a background in general, but I have to say I don't really get much of a sense of what it's like to be like Aramil Nailo. He just seems to fluctuate between bigotry and greed. In short, it works well as an omniscient outsider's description of Aramil's actions and apparent motivations, but it doesn't really get inside his head, which leaves me without much of a sense of him as a "real" person.
olpolok 10-04-07, 11:53 PM	His utter lack of failure makes him a bit boring. He is a bit too successful for my taste. It would be nice if you specify how he made SO much money. This kind of character tends to get killed sooner or later more sooner than late and he probably has lots of enemies who try to assassinate him. Other than him being smart, antisocial, machiavellic and racist there is not much said of him as a person. He is definitely BBEG material. Check this out http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=928919
Khadmus 10-07-07, 04:41 PM	So, 1) Emphasize his actual character. 2) Tell his full story, with his future failures. These flaws (major ones, but still) are probably because this was a character I was going to play (in an unusual game). Hence, the character would be emphasized in-game and the story would be developed as the game. I will post an improved story eventually.
Khadmus 10-07-07, 07:26 PM	Continued... This tower turned out to have magical properties, and Aramil used it to form minions out of pure dreamstuff. He managed good PR, but a vigilante eventually saw through his ruse and went to assault him. The vigilante, along with his adventuring comrades, outsmarted his way past Aramil's guards. Finally, they reached Aramil. All of them but the vigilante were killed. The vigilante, however, was stabilized before he could die. Aramil proceeded to organize a public execution, to improve troop morale. Before the vigilante was killed, Aramil opened a flask of good elven wine to toast the occasion. He, along with his top lieutenants, were poisoned by the drink and eventually died. The vigilante, however, escaped. This was not the end for Aramil. A gnome indebted to him took his ear to have Aramil returned to life. The gnome, being a prankster, decided to have Aramil reincarnated instead of simply raised. Aramil, the bigoted racist elf, returned as a dwarf. A dwarf with a countenance to match his ugly heart. Aramil remained sane by discarding the excuses he had used in the past. From now on, it was all about the pursuit of power. Aramil laid low for a while, pondering over religious texts in the hopes of gaining wisdom. He observed the downfall of other villains. To observe such downfalls firsthand (and to add some well-needed coin to his purse), Aramil returned to his old career of adventuring. Druing this time, he very nearly turned back to the light. Another death (a total party kill, in fact) knocked any such notions of redemption out of his head. After Aramil and his party were raised, they decided to part ways; decidedly shocked by the ease with which they died. Following his second death, Aramil read books on good management, thinking that an army of bodies would be a good buffer. Finally, he burst back onto the villainous scene. Summoning undead, constructs, dwarves (Aramil still retained much of his knowledge of racist rhetoric, and could adapt it to the dwarves fairly easily), and various mercenaries, Aramil carved out a mountain stronghold and began a search for items of power. Still didn't get inside his head...I have to work on that.