Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Adolph_Kheebler 02-11-07, 03:18 AM	I am currently playing an artificer imported into an OA campaign. This guy is just constantly crafting bizzare crap thinking that it is valuable. I need some ideas for incredibly stupid inventions I can make with craft armour, weaponsmithing, metalworking, woodworking and knowledge architecture and engineering. He likes to put gears and levers on just about anything even if they don't really do anything. Our party leader gave me a set of 20 wooden spoons to keep me occupied and prevent me from "improving" the furniture in our inn room. I created the "super spoon". This is a spoon with a gear system that powers a tiny fan pinwheel. This is used to cool food before you eat it. The fan spins when you repeatedly push the button on the shaft. So far I have gotten very few orders for them but I am hopeful. I was at somepoint also planning on inventing the spork. I need more ideas like this. Just really dumb things that will never really sell but that someone like me would create anyway because he genuinely believes them useful.
TwoPi 02-11-07, 04:50 AM	The drink hat...but really that might be kinda usefull, put potions in it and then when you are hurt just drink...kinda keeps you from wearing a helmet I guess...maybe call it the heal-met
Adolph_Kheebler 02-11-07, 12:52 PM	That might actually be an interesting idea. The drink hat. Of course I'd have to invent the straw first which would be a bit of a problem. How would you invent the straw in a world without plastic that had never heard of it? It would obviously start with bamboo I'm thinking. Then gets refined from there. Oh I know. I'll get the idea from seeing someone's blowgun. I reason that if you can propel a projectile with the force of breath you should be able to draw something back up into your mouth. Now the question of what to call this marvelous new invention. Of course I can't actually call it the straw. Any great ideas?
NerdNumber1 02-11-07, 01:14 PM	How much magic do you want to put into you inventions? decanter of endless water+angry fire elemental=limitless steam power. (I'm sure you can find some use for that). Assembly lines (animate objects, steam power, wind power, etc.) to make whatever you want. Flying (flying carpet+sovern glue=flight)drones (inteligent item) with repeating crossbows (animated objects that obey the inteligent item) One of the best parts of inventing is combining thing you know work and already exist into new creations with uses of their own.:D
Grognor 02-11-07, 02:31 PM	You don't even need to get as exotic as bamboo, you could use dried lake reeds. What about the sling-shot? A sturdy piece of wood and some elasticized leather / catgut and boom, all the results with none of the arm-tiring spinning.
razhan 02-11-07, 02:34 PM	wow i dont remember reading this or posting anything WTF!?!?!?
Adolph_Kheebler 02-12-07, 12:57 AM	I really can't have too much magic in them. For now my dm and me have a sort of unspoken rule that as long as I'm making stupid and pointless things I'm not really paying for it or following real crafting rules. So these things can't really be that useful, just dumb. I have also already created the hatpack. It is a ridiculously huge hat that serves as my backpack. It straps and braces on my shoulders. At higher levels when I can afford it it will become a hat of holding.
trickydevl666 02-12-07, 02:15 AM	Maybe an instant rougeifier for a female party member... Maybe you can create a swiss army knife type thing... that has some pretty cool/useless things in it... like a small knife for whitling/bubbles/toothpick/quill pen/I don't know what else....
FruitOfTheShroom 02-12-07, 03:51 AM	You could borrow from the Simpsons. A chair with a small pair of secondary legs-on-hinges on the hind legs to prevent the sitter from falling over while leaning backwards. (Holy crap run-on sentence)
NerdNumber1 02-12-07, 08:49 AM	Springload everything! Trail rations, weapons, delicate tools that you never need to use in a hurry, etc. Make a door alarm that can't be disabled until you are on the other side (and makes the most annoying sounds you can imagine). Combine a sprayer (Arms and Equipment guide), some lantern oil/alchohol, and a candle to get a cheap flame thrower (not near as good as alchemist's fire, more of a psychological weapon). A periscope sight on a crossbow would keep the marksman out of harmway. Decanter of endless water+fire elemental steam is a never-ending smoke-screen.
Callista 02-12-07, 11:56 AM	Invent the alarm clock! And then set it for 3 a.m.! Heeh :)
Grognor 02-12-07, 01:21 PM	I was at somepoint also planning on inventing the spork. Invent Taco Bell, or at least the Taco Salad. I want taco salad. Invent the kalidoscope. :)
Adrian_Crane 02-12-07, 03:52 PM	Invent the kalidoscope. :) I like...maybe a bunch of cheap crystal/quartz shards and such in an empty periscope tube. "Quick, look through this and tell me what you see!" "OH MY GODS, WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY--wait, you handed me the wrong scope, you idiot." What else, what else... The automatic bedroller--a pair of flat, tense metal bars that you attatch to either side of your bedroll. They lie flat when snapped down, and when you want to break camp, you just lift one end of the bedroll and bounce it down on the ground. This causes the bars to tense up and coil closed, re-rolling your bedroll as a free action instead of a move-equivalent action! :D ...okay, technically I don't know what the actions would be by the RAW, but that interpretation seems fair. Also: the siphon. Not satisfied with scooping your waterskin through the river to fill it? Dip this hide tube in the water, then put the other end into the neck of your waterskin, and pump the attached brass plunger a couple times to start the flow. Voila, fill-er-up! That's all I've got for now. :)
Orcdoubleax 02-12-07, 05:44 PM	Tap shoes. verrry useless what about a dress lifter. It is a mechanical contraption to raise a woman's dress when she is walking somewhere muddy. Believe it or not they actually existed and they weight about 30lbs and where about the size of a small printer. I don't think they ever caught on.
Adolph_Kheebler 02-13-07, 10:08 PM	Great ideas all. I already springload pretty much everything and will definitely continue to do so. One thing I've noticed though, it tends to get more fun when they don't work.
Adrian_Crane 02-13-07, 10:31 PM	Great ideas all. I already springload pretty much everything and will definitely continue to do so. One thing I've noticed though, it tends to get more fun when they don't work. Okay, so just have the bedroller roll closed sometime when the party halfling or gnome (even if it's you) is sound asleep. Escape artist check! :D
NerdNumber1 02-13-07, 10:34 PM	(in an inn fighting thieves.) Artificier: I have just the thing for you. *vial of alchemist's fire spings out of the artificier's sleeve, but slips through his fingers into the wall and bursts into flames. Everyone stares at the wall* ... Uh *jumps out the window* Ha! A deversion, exactly as I planned!
pmurray@bigpond.com 02-13-07, 11:02 PM	Google "chindogu" .
Adolph_Kheebler 02-14-07, 01:06 PM	Oh my god. The chindogu are great, but they are really too modern to use. Although I might try the hay fever hat. I might go with the spring loaded alchemist fire.
Adrez Nesnsid 03-03-07, 02:57 PM	Springload everything! Trail rations, weapons, delicate tools that you never need to use in a hurry, etc. How about a spring loaded healer's kit? "AAAAUGH IT SHOT THE SCALPEL IN MY EYE!!!!"
Adrez Nesnsid 06-24-07, 12:23 AM	BUMP!! :bump:
Symar 06-24-07, 04:41 PM	The automatic bedroller--a pair of flat, tense metal bars that you attatch to either side of your bedroll. They lie flat when snapped down, and when you want to break camp, you just lift one end of the bedroll and bounce it down on the ground. This causes the bars to tense up and coil closed, re-rolling your bedroll as a free action instead of a move-equivalent action! :D ...okay, technically I don't know what the actions would be by the RAW, but that interpretation seems fair. If it's anything like rolling up a sleeping bag, it's at least 2 full rounds, if not up to a full minute. You could make an inflatable mattress though.
Adrez Nesnsid 08-11-07, 11:37 AM	How about a giant hamster ball large enough to fit a person (to use for some kind of defensive purpose maybe...)? Oh, and :bump:...
CrimsonDeath 08-12-07, 04:25 AM	If you have a house, put a hand-crank on the front door. As you crank the handle, the door gradually swings open or closed. (Never mind that this is much slower than just grabbing the doorknob and swinging it open as a move-equivalent.)
Blackened_Blade 08-12-07, 11:57 PM	Powdered water.
FponkDamn 08-13-07, 02:53 AM	A rotating spaghetti fork. It has a handle and a crank, so you insert the fork into the pasta then turn the crank, and the fork spins up your food for you. About, say, 8 times as large as a normal fork. Must be greased. Bootnarfs. (I had a goblin once with a similar style as your character, so some of these are things he invented). They're boots with spring-loaded pads on the bottom. When you pull the lever (an immediate action) you immediately make a jump check with a +10 bonus, and you count as having had a running start. You move the full distance the jump allows, in a random direction (use the splash weapon miss chart). If you hit something, you take damage. Once deployed, they take a full minute to re-catch, and while they're out, your speed is reduced to 5' and you can't charge or run. Also, anytime you take damage, make a reflex save, or use any dex-based skill, you must roll a Balance Check (DC 15) or they deploy. I wore these AT ALL TIMES. Handless Binoculars. Two spyglasses, bound together, and attached to a helmet. You gain the benefits of a spyglass without needing hands! Of course, you can't see anything within 100' unless you take them off... Dovebar. Like a crowbar, but white. Double-torch. Sheds twice as much light by burning at both ends! "Everyone Wins" dice. They're all sixes. "Instant-Armor! Have you ever needed the protection of armor in an emergency, but didn't have the several minutes it usually takes to don elaborate plate? Instant-Armor makes you practically invulnerable in a fraction of the time!" It's just quick-drying cement. Movable Rods. - Johnny
ArgulFraster 08-13-07, 04:47 PM	Anything off the Sharper Image, but steam powered. Make a vorpal spoon, just for fun.
CrimsonDeath 08-13-07, 07:07 PM	Repeating longbow.
Radijs 08-14-07, 11:21 AM	A multi-lined fishing rod. Magically untangles itself of course.
Randel_Dagger 08-14-07, 06:22 PM	Gaze Protector: A hat or helmet with an adjustable metal arm with a disk on the end, it can be adjusted to block out lights or gaze attacks from a direction. Sort of like the flaps in a car that keep the sun out of your eye while driving. Protects you (mostly) from bright lights or gaze attacks. Spell Reciter: A recording of the wizard speaking reciting his spells in the morning. Theoretically, it plays once he starts sleeping and when he wakes up he has his spells already memorized. 10-foot lock pick spearbar: 10-foot pole with a spear head on one end, a crowbar claw on the other and the party rogues masterwork lock picking tools sort of strapped on somewhere. Perfect for unlocking doors that might be trapped, breaking them if you can't unlock them and spearing whoever comes charging out when you break the door. Wand Grenade: Springloaded trap that snaps a wand placed inside it, either timed, trigger activated, or thrown. Setting off all 50 charges, best with a wand of fireball... unless the rules don't let that kind of stuff happen anymore. Coin Counter: A big tub of water that when coins are dumped in will displace the water into another container to measure how many coins were placed into the first tub, can't tell if those coins are gold, silver or copper but you can always make a huge scale to weigh it... Spell Bells: Brightly colored bells that attach to the wizards spellbook so he can't lose it. Familiar Feeder: A feeder that is worn by wizards and lets their familiars eat while they walk. Weapon cleaning sheith: A sword sheith with cloth, a waterflask and clockwork rotating whetstones that automatically scrub, wash and sharpen swords while the fighter wears them. Auto-shower system: Hat that sprays water on the wearer for those adventurers on the go who don't have time to bathe. Super Lantern: A mirrored tube with several lamps inside (or continual flames) that focus all the light produced out a single direction. Like a Bullseye lantern taken to an extreme.
Roog 08-16-07, 11:25 AM	Indoor Super Pogo-stick: Regular super pogo sticks lead to head injuries if used with low ceilings, so this one has a sping loaded foot pointing up over the riders head as well as one pointing down towards the floor. Foot Pump Vacuum Cleaner (Actual Invention) Peach Peeler (Actual Invention): A ungodly combination of gears, cranks and clamps, that looks like some sort of mechanised torture device. Clockwork pageturner for the Wizards spellbook Eye Massager (Actual Device) This looks like a set of binoculars, with an opera-glass style handle and a bladder in front of each eyepiece. It was used to puff air into the users eyes. For your version add water to the bladders, some kind of pressurization system, straps to hold the thing on, and awkward controls. Automatic Haircutter This is a large clockwork device that straps to the users shoulders. It generates a large static charge and applies it to the users head. This causes their hair to stand on end, allowing the rotating blades and choppers to cut the hair in whatever style is desired. The cutters and blades can be adjusted to produce different styles. Pegasus Riders Pipe: This device looks like some kind of horn with a grill at the end. This controls the airflow allowing the pipe to be smoked even at high speeds. If accidentally tipped forwards or otherwise mishandled, it tend to spill hot ashes downs the users sleeves, or onto the mounts back. what about a dress lifter. It is a mechanical contraption to raise a woman's dress when she is walking somewhere muddy. Believe it or not they actually existed and they weight about 30lbs and where about the size of a small printer. I don't think they ever caught on. I have a picture of a non-mechanical one of these - its much lighter and actually quite a nice design.
Emissary666 08-19-07, 09:46 PM	FIne print glasses: A frame with claws that rip you eyes out and bring them closer to the paper, with out severing anything required for sight! We actually had a charicter make them, sold them as reading glasses. We are no longer to have a low int sorcoror. The intelligent latern: Ironicly named the dungeon master, this latern tells you all sorts of trivia about monsters you have never heard of. Nothing useful though. (Cookie for the reference) Grue bait: self explainitory
ArgulFraster 08-20-07, 12:39 AM	Something that plays this constantly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NOUwOY8xuc Sanity loss anyone?
Khadmus 08-20-07, 08:21 AM	The Black bag of Tricks. Summons mice, spiders, roaches, etc. Nothing with a CR or a HD more than 1/8.
KillFrenzy 08-21-07, 06:51 AM	Springload everything! Trail rations, weapons, delicate tools that you never need to use in a hurry, etc. Make a door alarm that can't be disabled until you are on the other side (and makes the most annoying sounds you can imagine). Combine a sprayer (Arms and Equipment guide), some lantern oil/alchohol, and a candle to get a cheap flame thrower (not near as good as alchemist's fire, more of a psychological weapon). A periscope sight on a crossbow would keep the marksman out of harmway. Decanter of endless water+fire elemental steam is a never-ending smoke-screen. They have to be the most ingenius ideas i have ever seen in my life.
Adrez Nesnsid 10-20-07, 08:31 PM	You know, I think that some of the stuff that they've built on "Mythbusters" would work well here, especially the following: The Chicken Cannon The Fart Collecting Machine The Internal Combustion Powered Subwoofer (The "Mythwoofer") Concrete Gliders
Adrez Nesnsid 10-20-07, 08:48 PM	I've just thought of more appropriate stuff that the Mythbusters have built: The unwieldy thatch/straw launching gun The "World's Deadliest Pinata" (The thermite coated Hindenberg rig) Inefficient Mirror-Based Solar-Powered Death Ray Amputated dead pig-tongue with hot-water and tubing based simulated body heat The nozzle for increasing the spray height of the "Mentos"/"Diet Coke" reaction Grappling Hook Made out of an old nail gun CO2 based exploding bottles Fake Holy Relics that shock people Flammable-gas filled soap-bubble rig Compressed-air powered Ejector-Seat
Adrez Nesnsid 10-20-07, 08:50 PM	Oh, and that rig that boiled eggs at random intervals!
Adrez Nesnsid 10-20-07, 09:01 PM	OH! And also! Exploding pants!!!!
Adrez Nesnsid 10-20-07, 09:08 PM	.......And the salami-powered rocket, and the tree cannon..../.
pastadiablo 10-22-07, 10:00 AM	There are a whole bunch of useless magic items here (http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=701953&highlight=useless+magic+items). A bunch of these are actually useful, but most of them are completely pointless. Perhaps your character could create some of these?
batkevin1974 10-28-07, 04:16 AM	I had a character called Xanthus Parandox who built a bull-based hang glider. Using the bull as the engine and the main support and rolling 4 natural 20's he made a flying device that got himself and the party out of a roc's nest. He also invented the yo-yo.