Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Fenrir_Greyback 09-23-07, 01:08 PM	Name: Nycro Race: Half-Elf Class: Rogue Age:22 Alignment: CN Nycro Grew up in a small town, born into a poor family, he quickly learned that poverty was not the way he wanted to live. He never knew his mother and his father, Being a con-man by trade, and a drunkard by lifestyle, never cared much for him. He was fed only raw meat and coarse bread for the first few years of his life, but at age five he discovered that begging was a good way to get food. He managed to survive the many illnesses that the often spoiled meat brought upon him, but his hair turned an unnatural blood red. For two years he lived like this, until he was struck by lightning which some say did him good, and others say killed his mind. Either way, he's a little crazy and his hair has stood up on end ever since. At age seven he also got a job in the local pub as a drink runner, and earned enough coin to get some decent food and began to finally grow. (he had been rather small due to slight malnourishment) and by age 14 he was 6 feet tall and weighed almost 130 pounds. It was at this time however, that his father was thrown in prison and he was evicted from his home. Nobody heard or saw anything of him until he came back seven years later, A scar running across his left brow, a wolf fang dangling from one ear, and a red dragon tatooed on his shoulder. He strode into town and made toward the jail. killed the guards, picked the cell door stabbed his father. The local champion of the time, who was merely a blacksmiths son with huge muscles and a bad temper chalenged him to a duel. He won, but he came out with a gash on the his forearm and a new suit of studded leather. From there he ran to another town where he met his current party. I know it's kinda far fetched and pointless, but how does it rate? 1 LOW, 10 HIGH. Any suggestions would also be welcome.
Uberwoot 09-24-07, 12:21 AM	I am unaware of any foods (or food tainting) that can permanently color hair red, and lightning-struck hair doesn't permanently stand on end either to the best of my knowledge; it seems to me that this is going to be a sticking place in the story for the typical person's suspension of belief. I would recommend another reason (perhaps magical) for his hair being so bizarre if you are in fact so attached to it being so. Another sticking point for me is his seven-year vacation, during which he obtains, through mysterious means, a degree of badass. At least some explanation of his transformation should be offered, even if it's as simple as "through his work in the criminal underworld". The final bone I want to pick is the killing of jail guards. I don't really know what level your character is supposed to start at, but if you're aiming for first level, I would advise slightly changing this part (to, say, distracting the guards somehow, or disguising himself to get past them), as jail guards that present that small of a challenge hardly suspend disbelief. Anyway. It's not a horrible story, but I wouldn't really rate it as good either. Perhaps slightly below average- but maybe that's the nitpicker in me screaming out. /woot
Fithero 09-24-07, 12:47 AM	during which he obtains, through mysterious means, a degree of badass. :rofl: Where can i get one of those? I agree with Uberwoot though, although red hair that stands on end 24/7 is interesting, your going to need a plausable explanation for it. Be reminded that this is d&d... so even the most far fetching explanation would be acceptable... aslong as its got some form of logic in it. But it sounds like an interesting character. Anyone with a degree of badass is bound to be cool! :P Peace
CrimsonDeath 09-24-07, 04:07 AM	:rofl: Where can i get one of those? Badass college.
Fenrir_Greyback 09-24-07, 07:21 AM	Thanks dudes. I realize some of that is particularly far fetched. Keep in mind i was trying to remember what I had down already somewhere, and had rewriten a couple of times. I found it yesterday, and while I don't have time to re-write it, The jail isn't so much a prison as an abandoned house that they fortified some and local men stand gaurd around. Usually armed with nothing but a pitchfork and their arms. No armour, no weapons, just a will not to let anything out. Or in my characters case in. So it was not really a problem to kill a few bumpkins with a few sneak attacks. My dad was passed out drunk, and I killed him easily, and this is where our campaign started. The DM ruled that the champion had just come out of a drinking contest and was a bit unsteady on his feet. No problem again.