Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Teh_Darkness 11-04-07, 07:36 PM	First time throwing a character up on this board for critique dont be gentle though I can take it. WARNING! Long Post get your drinks and comfy slippers This is a character I intend to play at my next opportunity no statistics rolled up planning on using normal point buy though Toulon Zenith Lawful Evil Human Rogue 1 5'7" 175 lb's Black Hair Blue Eyes Description: Toulon is tall man with narrow piercing blue eyes and black hair cut short. While not an Adonis, Toulon is a moderately handsome man. He is a very clean individual with perfectly manicured nails and teeth whiter then anyone for this time period should have. He dresses in drab earth tones and his clothes are designed to be functional rather then elegant. He wears a flowing gray cloak that shadows his facial features. Though not fancy his clothes on a close inspection will find that they almost always clean with a fresh smell. Toulon tends to always be aware of his surroundings, eyes always darting as if somewhat paranoid that someone may attack at any moment. Background: Toulon's childhood is not something he openly talks about often, he was always a sickly child prone to pick up illness like a sponge and if not for the assistance of a local druid Toulin may not have survived this long. The druid Ezra was like a father to Toulin, even more so than his true father who was owned a filthy tavern/brothel (This is perhaps how Toulin developed an obsession with cleanliness) that his mother also worked in as an "escort" (Toulin isn’t even sure if his father was his true father.) The druid felt a deep sorrow for Toulin and gave to freely medicinal herbs that could be brewed into a simple tea to help with his weak constitution and told him the importance of keeping himself and his surroundings clean as to avoid rats and their disease carrying ways. (Toulin hates rats and will go to great lengths to exterminate them. I am foreseeing him having a severe issue with rat Lycanthropes in game) Because of Ezra's teachings the top floor of his father’s tavern (which was also the family’s home) became the cleanest floor in the tavern. Toulin was fortunate in that he had a mother’s love, she along with Ezra was the silver lining to his life and he could put up anything as long as they were with him. Alas for Toulin his mother passed away when he was only eight from a disease contracted by one of her clients. This was a solemn time for Toulin as it was only he and his father who remained. Toulin could at least find solace in knowing Ezra would not be far from him if ever he was need, or at least he thought. Toulin had never anticipated his father selling him into slavery to the thief’s guild. “The boy cleans pretty good.” His father said to his buyer as he was forcefully removed from his bed in the dead of night. It seemed that life couldn’t be worse as Toulin was now a slave to the insidious Blackclaw Syndicate. Toulin however found that life was not all that bad with the Syndicate. Sure they were a band of assassins and thieves but they treated him better his father ever had and all he had to do was keep the rooms clean and he could be well fed they even had a stash of medical herbs that, if he was clever and sly enough, could procure without anyone knowing and keep himself healthy and guard against disease. Toulin became somewhat of a son for the Syndicate and Toulin would never have thought them to be cold ruthless killers that he sometimes heard the other slaves say they were more of a family then he had ever had before in fact when some of the slaves had found a way to escape, Toulin had no trouble at all telling the guards their plans, after all they had paid an honest price for those slaves, little did he know that this act of loyalty would propel him forward in the organization. Because of Toulin’s honesty (This is a trait of the character he avoids lying as he feels that he should always be able to claim his word as true.) he was selected to become an apprentice of the Blackclaw. This was a double edged sword Toulin was warned. As failure would mean his death, but success would mean many comforts. Toulin was further advised that if he could repay the organization his cost as a slave he could be a free agent to do with his skills whatever he wished. Toulin had trained throughout his teen years in stealth, tactics, and combat techniques. This training enhanced his strength and agility and even improved his resilience to disease slightly and when he was 18 he was ready to graduate his apprenticeship and become his career as an agent of the Blackclaw Syndicate This is where my character’s adventuring career begins. I deliberately left it off here so that the character has room to evolve and any DM would have additional plot hooks to choose from. Some key traits of Toulin are He is honest, but he will at times not tell the whole truth when it suits him. For example if he says he’s going to kill someone, it doesn’t mean at that moment, but maybe weeks from the time he makes the claim. Which is brings us to…. He is also patient and calculating. He would choose to gather information on a target for a week and then make a clean, quick, almost surgical kill. He believes it is better to make opportunities then to wait for them. This is also why he studies his targets as to learn there patterns as to know where to hide for the most opportune strike. He is not a psychopath, he is evil as he doesn’t care whether innocents are hurt, but he is not intentionally cruel or violent towards others. He is hard to enrage, Toulin does get angry but he doesn’t lose his temper he remains cool, calm, and collected as he can always make an opportunity for revenge later. Though there is one button that can be pressed and that is putting dirty things in his spotless room He despises filth and unprofessional grooming habits. Having lived in squalor Toulin takes careful considerations to remain clean and look professional. This is taken to extreme obsessive levels as he has been known to take rough stones to scour off dead skin on his body. The only thing that has ever caused him to fly into a violent rage has been when a misfortunate slave had spilled dirty water in his room. (He didn’t kill the slave but he did beat him quite profoundly.) He is protective of women but chooses to remain a virgin. Toulin fears the idea of getting a disease that he can’t overcome and as such will not allow himself sexual comforts. However he despises when women are harmed or forced to deign to another mans sexual desires. He will take steps to punish anyone responsible for these acts….violently. Much of this disposition was developed because of how his mother had passed on. He despises child abuse and neglect. He cant stand the idea of a child being abused or neglected by his parents and will take steps to punish those responsible…violently…he is often irrational on this issue and sometimes sees it as the fathers fault. This trait was also developed in early childhood due to his father’s mistreatment. So all and all I’m seeking some people’s opinions on the character. I think he could probably even work well in a good party as he isn’t a psychopath and has some redeemable aspects. I figured lawful evil would be a good alignment to set for him as he doesn’t do things without rhyme or reason he follows his own personal laws and ethics, but he has no qualms with being ruthless in accomplishing his tasks. If anyone has suggestions on alignment feel free to let me know.. I plan on taking him to the Assassin Prestige Class and maybe multi-classing into ranger. I hope to use the characters poor constitution score as a role playing element for seeking out medicinal drugs to help his health All and all I can’t wait for the opportunity to play him
Dipteran_Legacy 11-05-07, 07:47 PM	thumbs up, all around. a little more detail about how & why the syndicate became like a family to him would be nice. any personal ties within the guild? a particular master that trained him, or a fellow guildmember he went through most of his training with, as either a rival or friend? does he think about his "true" father any more? has he gone back and showed his father what he's become? did he go back and kill him? does he plan to do any of this, or is it something he no longer cares to think about much? does he ever think about ezra any more? also.... He is not a psychopath, he is evil as he doesn’t care whether innocents are hurt, but he is intentionally cruel or violent towards others. did you mean to say he's not intentionally cruel/ violent? if this isnt a typo, I think he'd have problems with any party. not just a good party... one last thing: it may be cool to have a custom magic item that would let him use pres a few times a day- maybe start out with 1/day and work with your DM to see if a local wizard could add additional daily uses as he gained wealth. such a thing would really fit, and keep him from going crazy if he's away from his guild for more than a short while
Teh_Darkness 11-05-07, 09:00 PM	Thanks for the response Legacy. As for your questions and inquiries here we go. did you mean to say he's not intentionally cruel/ violent? Definitely meant to say He's not intentionally cruel on that. I'll edit that one. a little more detail about how & why the syndicate became like a family to him would be nice. any personal ties within the guild? a particular master that trained him, or a fellow guildmember he went through most of his training with, as either a rival or friend? I was thinking what mainly caused the guild to to like Toulin was just his general positive given the situation. Toulin had seemed to enjoy being a slave, and when he sold out his fellow slaves that just seemed to cement him in as someone should be a member rather then a servant. I have the idea of taking apprentice feat if allowed to recognize his being an apprentice to the guild. I even have a master in mind. Reznic Chapel A.K.A Chaplin Neutral Evil Halfling Lvl 12 Rogue 4/Wizard 3/Cleric of Vecna 2/Assasin 2/Shadowdancer 1 3'2'' 75 lb's Red hair starting to gray with Green Eyes Description: Reznic is your standard looking halfing at first glance and thats exactly how he wants it. He is often seen around the guild smoking a rather ornate pipe (Actually his "real" holy symbol.) with his feet up and long hair untied. When his long jacket is open you see that he wears a black oily looking studded leather and a Holy Symbol of the dark of Vecna. Every now and then he blows pipe smoke in your direction and you feel an odd sort of comraderie towards him as you cough from the smoke. Background: I will only go over Reznic in minor detail. Reznic is called the Chaplin because of his ability to prepare healing spells and also due to his ties to the Vecna Clergy. He is an ambitious halfling with secret goals of overthrowing the current guild heirarchy. This is in part why he chose to be Toulin's master as he saw it as a great way cement an ally within the guild. "Catch em young!" his dear mother had always said and it was even easier to catch Toulin given the enchanted smoke from his pipe that he often blew in Toulin's face whenever he was succesful in his training. (Think charm spell.) He knows without a shadow of a doubt that Toulin will forever be his faithfull lapdog and lieutenant if ever he saw opportunity for the guilds overthrow. As far as rivals in the guild, the slaves are really the only ones who have problems with him and they really don't have anything they can do....yet..if one ever escapes. (especially one of the ones that were recaptured because of him turning them in.) Kinda leaving this up to the DM on this one. does he think about his "true" father any more? has he gone back and showed his father what he's become? did he go back and kill him? does he plan to do any of this, or is it something he no longer cares to think about much? As far his father; Toulin does have plans of pinning his first eventual murder on him. While he doesnt have any potential spite for the man he does feel he must pay for the abuses that his mother suffered for him. I have plans for Toulin reconnecting with Ezra but only when he is a free agent. While he does feel the guild his family he is not nieve enough to not what kind of people are associated with it. He doesnt want his only father figure ever being danger because of him. (Ezra might also be where he gets inspiration to go into the ranger class.) one last thing: it may be cool to have a custom magic item that would let him use pres a few times a day- maybe start out with 1/day and work with your DM to see if a local wizard could add additional daily uses as he gained wealth. such a thing would really fit, and keep him from going crazy if he's away from his guild for more than a short while I think by "pres" you mean prestigidation? if so that wouldnt be a bad idea definitely be logical for him considering his....problems. Though he only tends to flip out if his private room or home is dirtied by another individual, he can usually grit his teeth anywhere else. (Though he does tidy up things subconciously and gets a bit more on edge then if the house were clean.) It would still be useful if ever he was forced to stay in a dirty in.
Dipteran_Legacy 11-06-07, 02:06 AM	sounds like you've got everything worked out:) and yeah, I meant prestidigitation, I've just become accustomed to saying pres, and therefore become accustomed to writing pres. it's a bad, lazy habit, but meh. you never know when an assassin/thief in training might end up traipsing through sewers, or squirming through a crawl space on his belly. not only will it be a nice flavor/utility thing, but with such an overall impeccably dressed character, he'd fit in a wealthy balls and such rather well, whether he had to creep in, or really got an invitation. depending on how much your dm caters the game towards your thief, it could be a very handy gizmo. but even not counting that, I dont think it would be a serious drain on resources
Teh_Darkness 11-07-07, 07:21 PM	I had a few thoughts on some hooks that I could suggest to the DM who allows me to play the character for his own review. Let me know what you think. I would like my character to eventually be exposed to lycanthropes...specifically wererats. I would love to roleplay the character to eventually start hunting these creatures just of pure spite for rats, not because of them being evil. I was thinking a few ideas for how to introduce them may be.. A rival thieves guild that has a lycanthrope master that infects his chosen leutants with lycantropy making a dangerous army of monsters.. A cult of strange rat like monsters have been seen abduction children. (Definitely will hit a chord with my character.) And my character would feel a compulsion to investigate (and rescue) the missing children. Another idea that I would like to explore is the possibility of my character being redeemed and turn to a good alignment. One way I have thought of introducing this dynamic was. If fortune smiles on me maybe a player would want to play a paladin at about the time I have access to undetectable alignment and just happen to need the paladins assistance. Eventually he develops a personal friendship to the paladin, but the paladin finds out somehow what Toulin is, and having seen the potential of good in my character, would choose to redeem rather then destroy my character. This would be ideal but again highly unlikely and alot of planning would have to be done with the other PC and DM Another thing I would like for this character is to explore romantic pursuits with someone. I think it would be kind of fun for my character trying to overcome his fears and also try to deal with living a romantic lifestyle while living in the path of an assasin. Not sure what suggestions I could give a potential DM but any thoughts on how would help. I would eventually like him to see what his master Chaplin is and what Chaplin had done to him. Toulin's reaction to this may vary pending how he finds out. I would also like for to eventually to take leadership of his own thieves guild and start working up underground trading networks with the Underdark. He would also ensure that this blackmarket be heavilly policed as he doesnt want drow and duerger overrunning the surface world. Another thing to note is he does not see slavery as morally wrong because he figures that if one cannot prevent themselves from being a slave, then those with the ability to, have the right to enslave them. But he doesnt believe that enslavement should be based off race as anyone is potentially a slave if they are unable to prevent it. This is more of a grand scale goal that will be devoloped throughout an entire campaign, not in just one adventure.
Terjon of the Blue Rose 11-08-07, 03:24 AM	I like him. There are a few points I really like and one I think you may have missed in your own character (or maybe I picked up on non-existant ones:P). I think that loyalty and betrayal mean a lot to him. He may not be aware of it himself but at his heart, loyalty is a driving factor. He has already known betrayal and thwarted it. He was betrayed by his father (a thing he likely thinks little of consciously) and he himself thwarted the betrayal of the fleeing slaves (from his perspective this it how it would seem even if he wouldn't vocalize it as such). That being said I think if The Chaplin were ever to attempt his little coupe he'd be in for a rude awakening from his potential first lieutenant. His sense of family within the guild lends him a lot of strength too and this is a great hook for the DM, though I think the cleanliness is more a character quirk (a well done quirk which I'd keep but not much hook in it). He's far more lawful than evil and that combined with his sense of loyalty and honesty give him quite a fair shot at redemption. I would consider adding in another mentor. One he doesn't think of as such but who has constantly been around him. This person doesn't hold the father figure role that The Chaplin does but would be more like a big brother type. He doesn't stick around teaching you and isn't there all the time. You can't just run to him whenever you want the way you can with The Chaplin but when you truly need him he is there. Likely he is the first one who caught you stealing those herbs and who pointed out your potential rather than sending you to be punished. Which brings up an interesting point. Were those herbs really unnoticed or were they a test. If you stole well you would have been rewarded but if you tryed taking them clumsily punished? It might make the story a little stronger if the guild itself was set up in a family/mafia style where your loyalty means more than your skill and this in turn is one of the major factors holding up your mentor, The Chaplin as well as pushing you foward within it.
Dipteran_Legacy 11-08-07, 02:57 PM	it sounds like most of your ideas are ultimately long-term ones. imo, founding his own thieves guild in the long run seems to run somewhat counter to redeeming him in the long run- at least if you want to start out of the cheesy domain of robinhood & his goodly thievedom. they're great ideas, maybe keep them all in mind, and work out what your ultimate goals for him are after you actually start playing him...? also, the were-rat could tie in quite nicely with the other many other themes you've had- reacquainting himself with the druid, taking ranger levels, redeeming himself in general, etc. just my:twocents:
meto30 11-09-07, 01:24 AM	I believe most of the ideas are well-founded and very flawless. If I may, I add the following quirk. He has a certain protocol he follows in some actions, such as setting up a safehouse for an assasination mission, hiding himself after a job, preparing his weapons and such. This is in concordance with his sense of cleanness, and his tendency to plan everything out. He'd have a great selection of contingency plans within his mind, much like a strategist. He'd even have a set of rules, I guess. He is very organized in his actions and thoughts. This may lead to certain patterns that a very careful and thorough investigation can uncover and use to the character's disadvantage. If his tendencies are taken advantage of, the character might take offence. The campaign I'm running has turned into a legal investigation series (at least for the last two weeks), and your character will make an interesting NPC. I think I'll burrow yours ;)
Teh_Darkness 11-09-07, 02:28 PM	He has a certain protocol he follows in some actions, such as setting up a safehouse for an assasination mission, hiding himself after a job, preparing his weapons and such. This is in concordance with his sense of cleanness, and his tendency to plan everything out. He'd have a great selection of contingency plans within his mind, much like a strategist. He'd even have a set of rules, I guess. He is very organized in his actions and thoughts. I love that idea definitely fits his personality. Definitely going to incorporate that. The campaign I'm running has turned into a legal investigation series (at least for the last two weeks), and your character will make an interesting NPC. I think I'll burrow yours Thanks thats the best complement a PC can get.:blush: imo, founding his own thieves guild in the long run seems to run somewhat counter to redeeming him in the long run- at least if you want to start out of the cheesy domain of robinhood & his goodly thievedom I was kinda thinking that if redemption doesnt occur that this would be his ultimate goal for that time being. If his alignment shifts to good then this goal I will put aside for the goal of having Toulin make peace with his sins..Heck he might even become a Paladin of Pelor once on the path of redemption. (now that would be a one heck of a story.) also, the were-rat could tie in quite nicely with the other many other themes you've had- reacquainting himself with the druid, taking ranger levels, redeeming himself in general, etc. Now thats also a great. idea definitely something I will have to throw a suggestion like that into the mix of possible hooks. I would consider adding in another mentor. One he doesn't think of as such but who has constantly been around him. This person doesn't hold the father figure role that The Chaplin does but would be more like a big brother type. He doesn't stick around teaching you and isn't there all the time. You can't just run to him whenever you want the way you can with The Chaplin but when you truly need him he is there. Likely he is the first one who caught you stealing those herbs and who pointed out your potential rather than sending you to be punished. Which brings up an interesting point. Were those herbs really unnoticed or were they a test. If you stole well you would have been rewarded but if you tryed taking them clumsily punished? It might make the story a little stronger if the guild itself was set up in a family/mafia style where your loyalty means more than your skill and this in turn is one of the major factors holding up your mentor, The Chaplin as well as pushing you foward within it. I like that idea so I put some thought into a character for it. Tesla Moonglaive True Neutral Gray Elf Lvl 9 Bard 5 Wizard 4 5'8'' 100 lb's Silver hair with Violet Eyes Description: This gray elf is tall and slender with a physique that is stronger then would be expected for a gray elf. Tesla has many attractive features the most particular being his hands. They are perfectly manicured and soft. Often Tesla can be seen writing in a musty tome in the corner of the guild (His spellbook) occasionally he will look up and give an appraising glance your way. Background: I will only go over Tesla in minor detail. Tesla is the guilds librarian and accountant he is stunningly clever and no one has ever been able to connect Tesla and the dissapearance of guild funds mostly because anyone who has ever thought twice about it had usually dissapeared. Tesla, unknown by Toulin; was the one who purchased Toulin from his father that dark and stormy night. An unfortunate accident had left the former housekeeper burned and horribly crippled and disfigured in cooking mishap and as such it was up to Tesla to maintain the guilds maintenance. Tesla had never thought that his purchase would be so resourceful and survive so long for he seemed the most sickly looking of children. And needless to say Tesla was quite surprised to see how effective a thief he was. It was only by chance that he heard the boy sneaking into the kitchen one dark evening, and it was impressive how carefull the boy was. He had almost caught Tesla a few times, as he spied on the boy from a distance as he gathered the appropriate herbs required for what appeared to be an herbal decongestant and another plant that was used as an all natural steroid and energy supplement. It was quite interesting to Tesla how Toulin knew so much about herbalism but he didnt want to discourage the boy by asking him. He figured Toulin would become a far better thief if he simply left him be, and in the meantime Tesla could encourage his talents by altering the inventory sheets to prevent anyone from realizing what was happening and put a watchmen in the room. Tesla was never cruel nor kind to Toulin, merely a quiet man as far as Toulin percieved. But Tesla did help the boy in ways Toulin never new. It was Tesla who had organized the slaves in secret, to escape the night Toulin had turned them in. This impressed Tesla even more as it confirmed his suspicion that Toulin had liked the guild and would be loyal to them. It was also Tesla who rallied for Toulin being apprenticed under him though this plan backfired when Reznick had laid claim to Toulin, with his right as a senior member. While this discouraged Tesla he figured that he could help the boy in other ways.Tesla could not openly train Toulin as he was not the boys mentor, so as such he had his room moved near to Toulins and occasionally would bring Toulin over to perform the occasional odd "job". (These oddjobs were actually tests that Tesla had come up with, such as having Toulin unknowingly planting evidence.) Tesla also forced Toulin to play games of strategy and planning like chess, and Conquest (Conquest is D&D equivalent to Risk in my campaign world) As well as games of chance and social skills such as poker and black jack. These little games further honed Toulins intellect and tought him how to plan and look at statistics and all of the different angles in his practical and professional life as well. These tests ultimately improved Toulins skills even further making him an even larger success in the guild, unfortunately Reznick was the one who had gotten the credit, and as far as Toulin knew he was just earning extra copper from the gray elf. I think this added mentor would definitely help with explain off some of Toulins far superior skills in stealth and also add an interesting story dynamic Thanks again guys these are some great ideas a brewing here.