What do you think of this for a back round? [Archive] - Wizards Community

What do you think of this for a back round? [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Valoy_Muniz
11-12-04, 04:35 PM What do you think of this back round? He will be a wild elf soc/air elem/arch mage if he ever get up hi enough.

My Story starts 2000 years before I was born. My ancestor was a very powerful Arch mage that has an air elemental for his familiar. After going around for a long time he decided to settle down and start a family in the middle of nowhere. As time past a small group started to make there houses around him. Then one day a violent storm of magic, (manna storm) passed through the area. Knowing that it may kill him Dusk and his familiar went to neutralize the storm before it destroyed everything. In the process of neutralizing, it seemed that his magic was stripped from him and his familiar just vanished. He then had to adjust to living a normal life with out magic and had a few kids. The people from the now town though of him as a hero and started legends of how the town would always be safe because of his family giving up there magic for the good of the town. What Dusk realized a few hundred years later was that his magic was not striped from him but instead he was different (he was becoming more an elemental as he aged and was learning to use his magic again). Some how him and his air elemental some how fussed together and became one. Fearing what this may mean to his now grand kids he left the town and has not been seen since.

Now we jump 20 generations (Elvin) to me. My name is Wisper. As per my parents look a lot like my ancestor Dusk. In addition, unlike my older brother (fighter) or sister (aristocrat) I kept it a secret from our city that I can change reality since I was 4 years old (Prestiditation). Recently though the ability I have has been, growing and I have been able to control it more. The problem with controlling it makes me want to use it. Last week I saved a small kid from the other side of the village with magical force (magic missile) that shot from my hand at a goblin that was going to kill him. To make matter’s worst this dam bat is following me everywhere I go lately. That is why I am leaving my home. Even though I am still very young (101) and short (4’ 85 pounds), I cannot let shame come to my family. I think I will try to find out what happened to Dusk. At least I will have this stupid bat to keep me company.
Valoy_Muniz
11-14-04, 10:49 AM No one think this is good or bad?
KarateKari
11-14-04, 12:39 PM I like it. Overall, I'd say it's very interesting. One question I have is, why is the use of magic supposed to bring shame down upon your family? Is it just because the villagers believe your family gave up all magic to save them? If that's why, then it might be somewhate of a broad assumption to believe that just because you can use magic, your entire family will be shamed. After all, the village was saved, regardless.

Also, how does your character feel about the knowledge that he can use magic? Does it excite him? Or is he ashamed of it? Maybe it even scares him a bit? Does anyone within the family actually know that Dusk did not actually lose his magical abilities? Have other people with magical talent cropped up in the family over the years? How does the family react to this? Are they ashamed of their magic users? Maybe the family even forces their magic users to leave, because the family is afraid of losing community standing. I can't imagine that every single magic user who has been born to this family left voluntarily without telling anyone the reason for leaving. Maybe the family has been practicing an elaborate cover-up operation for generations. Also, consider whether magic users are born into the family on a regular basis, or if it's a rare occurrence. If you are the first (are you really the first, or does no one know about the others who came before you?), that might be important. How does the family react (if they know)? Also, you said you saved a child with a magic missile. Did anyone else see it? Did the child realize what happened? Is your village abuzz with rumors that you might have magical abilities? Are the rumors excited or angry? How does the family react to these? What do you think about other magic users? Are there other magic users in your village who do not come from your family? How are they treated?

These are just some things to think about. If your DM likes to write character backgrounds into the story, they would be useful things for him to know as well.

These are just some things to think about. It's a good story; I would just like to see the emotional/psychological component fleshed out a bit more.

Good luck!

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Valoy_Muniz 11-12-04, 04:35 PM	What do you think of this back round? He will be a wild elf soc/air elem/arch mage if he ever get up hi enough. My Story starts 2000 years before I was born. My ancestor was a very powerful Arch mage that has an air elemental for his familiar. After going around for a long time he decided to settle down and start a family in the middle of nowhere. As time past a small group started to make there houses around him. Then one day a violent storm of magic, (manna storm) passed through the area. Knowing that it may kill him Dusk and his familiar went to neutralize the storm before it destroyed everything. In the process of neutralizing, it seemed that his magic was stripped from him and his familiar just vanished. He then had to adjust to living a normal life with out magic and had a few kids. The people from the now town though of him as a hero and started legends of how the town would always be safe because of his family giving up there magic for the good of the town. What Dusk realized a few hundred years later was that his magic was not striped from him but instead he was different (he was becoming more an elemental as he aged and was learning to use his magic again). Some how him and his air elemental some how fussed together and became one. Fearing what this may mean to his now grand kids he left the town and has not been seen since. Now we jump 20 generations (Elvin) to me. My name is Wisper. As per my parents look a lot like my ancestor Dusk. In addition, unlike my older brother (fighter) or sister (aristocrat) I kept it a secret from our city that I can change reality since I was 4 years old (Prestiditation). Recently though the ability I have has been, growing and I have been able to control it more. The problem with controlling it makes me want to use it. Last week I saved a small kid from the other side of the village with magical force (magic missile) that shot from my hand at a goblin that was going to kill him. To make matter’s worst this dam bat is following me everywhere I go lately. That is why I am leaving my home. Even though I am still very young (101) and short (4’ 85 pounds), I cannot let shame come to my family. I think I will try to find out what happened to Dusk. At least I will have this stupid bat to keep me company.
Valoy_Muniz 11-14-04, 10:49 AM	No one think this is good or bad?
KarateKari 11-14-04, 12:39 PM	I like it. Overall, I'd say it's very interesting. One question I have is, why is the use of magic supposed to bring shame down upon your family? Is it just because the villagers believe your family gave up all magic to save them? If that's why, then it might be somewhate of a broad assumption to believe that just because you can use magic, your entire family will be shamed. After all, the village was saved, regardless. Also, how does your character feel about the knowledge that he can use magic? Does it excite him? Or is he ashamed of it? Maybe it even scares him a bit? Does anyone within the family actually know that Dusk did not actually lose his magical abilities? Have other people with magical talent cropped up in the family over the years? How does the family react to this? Are they ashamed of their magic users? Maybe the family even forces their magic users to leave, because the family is afraid of losing community standing. I can't imagine that every single magic user who has been born to this family left voluntarily without telling anyone the reason for leaving. Maybe the family has been practicing an elaborate cover-up operation for generations. Also, consider whether magic users are born into the family on a regular basis, or if it's a rare occurrence. If you are the first (are you really the first, or does no one know about the others who came before you?), that might be important. How does the family react (if they know)? Also, you said you saved a child with a magic missile. Did anyone else see it? Did the child realize what happened? Is your village abuzz with rumors that you might have magical abilities? Are the rumors excited or angry? How does the family react to these? What do you think about other magic users? Are there other magic users in your village who do not come from your family? How are they treated? These are just some things to think about. If your DM likes to write character backgrounds into the story, they would be useful things for him to know as well. These are just some things to think about. It's a good story; I would just like to see the emotional/psychological component fleshed out a bit more. Good luck!