[Deity & Domain] The words of the prophets are written on the restroom walls... [Archive] - Wizards Community

[Deity & Domain] The words of the prophets are written on the restroom walls... [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
The Vorpal Tribble
09-08-07, 02:27 PM Porcelain
Greater Deity (Neutral)

http://cubeville.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/toilet.jpg

Though few recognize the fact, almost all peoples give reverence in some way or another to the great god Porcelain. When the feel ill, when bodily needs must be met, it is Porcelain who they kneel before. Even the most pios follower of the other deities will give offering numerous times a day.

Porcelain appears as a great white being of smooth, glowing stone. He most often takes the odd shape of a mounted bowl, his lips raised in song.

Porcelain's favorite weapon is the plunger. His symbol is of sparkling water twirling down a dark hole set onto a tiled background.

Portfolio: Refuse, secretions, purification

Domains: City (http://realmshelps.dandello.net/cgi-bin/domain.pl?City), Commode (see below), Gluttony (http://realmshelps.dandello.net/cgi-bin/domain.pl?Gluttony), Water

Cleric Training: The training of clerics is normally done by other holy men who partake of blessed spirits until they feel the call of Porcelain. A call so strong that the truly dedicated will rush to him and deposit their offering within the holy bowl.

Quests: Clerics of Porcelain tend not to travel extensively, but when they do they seek to convert the disbelievers and heretics, particularly those that instead give their devotions and offerings to Tree, or even Wall.
Those that will not convert in spite of all wisdom will be shown the true holiness of Porcelain. The infidel will be held within so that the swirling waters may cool his brow and fill his ears until he hears the calling.

Prayers: Communion with Porcelain usually takes place about the shrine and are usually lowly muttered and simple. "Oh please, oh please, come on!" or even a groaning of 'Oh god...' are standard and well respected prayers. Fervent followers in the throes of worship may even begin to speak in high pitched whines and gurgles.

Temples: Temples of Porcelain are located most often in cities and towns, though most homes anywhere have at least one small temple. Public temples are usually tiled and usually contain numerous private shrines for individual devotions. Here they may sit in meditation, reading the holy magazines or papers. One can easily detect the particularly devout as the bowl it runneths over with their offerings.

Rites: The rites of Porcelain often include great feasts of food and strong drink, with holy legumes served in plenty. One is encouraged to embibe as much as one can so that their offerings to Porcelain will be of great abundance.

-=-=-=-=-

Commode Domain
Granted Ability: You gain immunity to poison.

Commode Domain Spells
1. Grease
2. Whispering Wind
3. Stinking Cloud
4. Control Water
5. Cloudkill
6. Repulsion
7. Prismatic Spray
8. Clenched Fist
9. Wish
Ornum
09-08-07, 06:12 PM HA! Nice bit of humor to inject into what has gotten to be such a serious forum lately.

I absolutely must see this god's planar realm. Well, not so much see as read a write-up.
The Vorpal Tribble
09-10-07, 10:46 AM Most likely some place where all the refuse and unwanted debris of the multiverse accumulates. Will think on it.

Btw, for some reason this slightly paraphrased lyrics from one of Simon and Garfunkle's songs came to mind...

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the restroom walls
And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence...
Rickiel
09-10-07, 09:26 PM So tell me, are the worshipers in the larger temples segregated into male/female shrine rooms as typically commonplace of many an established institution? :confused:

And what does Porcelain think of Urinal?
sicsemperjohn
09-10-07, 10:04 PM Urinal must be some kind of lesser form of Porcelain, as only his male followers can worship Urinal conveniently.
ssvegeta555
09-11-07, 01:26 AM What about the phrase, "praying to the porcelain god", i.e. kneeling down and puking. :D
The Vorpal Tribble
09-11-07, 10:21 AM So tell me, are the worshipers in the larger temples segregated into male/female shrine rooms as typically commonplace of many an established institution? :confused:
That they are. Each gender must give their offerings in their own way.

And what does Porcelain think of Urinal?
Urinal is but one of the many forms that Porcelain takes.

What about the phrase, "praying to the porcelain god", i.e. kneeling down and puking.
That is where this concept originated, yes :rolleyes:
Ornum
09-11-07, 11:04 AM Urinal is but one of the many forms that Porcelain takes.

An aspect of the god, then. What of "Sink", who also gets some of the same "prayers"? Rival? Or possibly spouse?

Then there's Portapot. Another aspect? Or an interloper-type god that is trying to steal away worship?

(And yes, I watched Austin Powers last night, so the toilet humor therein is still fresh in my mind.)
Rickiel
09-11-07, 06:24 PM I've come to realize something.

Porcelain has a very good relationship with children for one of his many aspects must be a benign, nonthreatening, and color-safe Potty Trainer! :D
Wall
09-11-07, 09:25 PM Quests: Clerics of Porcelain tend not to travel extensively, but when they do they seek to convert the disbelievers and heretics, particularly those that instead give their devotions and offerings to Tree, or even [B]Wall.

...
...
...You'd think I would have known about this.

Anyway, this is a fun idea, Vorpal Tribble. So Porcelain's allies include Bidet I assume, but what is the relationship with Potpourri, who seems to invade upon Porcelain's territory with fragrant fury?
The Vorpal Tribble
09-21-07, 10:01 PM An aspect of the god, then. What of "Sink", who also gets some of the same "prayers"? Rival? Or possibly spouse?

Then there's Portapot. Another aspect? Or an interloper-type god that is trying to steal away worship?
All are but various faces of the great and generous Porcelain.

So Porcelain's allies include Bidet I assume, but what is the relationship with Potpourri, who seems to invade upon Porcelain's territory with fragrant fury?
Incense my good man, incense.
ArgulFraster
09-22-07, 01:16 PM :snrk: bwa...bwa...BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAA!

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
The Vorpal Tribble 09-08-07, 02:27 PM	Porcelain Greater Deity (Neutral) http://cubeville.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/toilet.jpg Though few recognize the fact, almost all peoples give reverence in some way or another to the great god Porcelain. When the feel ill, when bodily needs must be met, it is Porcelain who they kneel before. Even the most pios follower of the other deities will give offering numerous times a day. Porcelain appears as a great white being of smooth, glowing stone. He most often takes the odd shape of a mounted bowl, his lips raised in song. Porcelain's favorite weapon is the plunger. His symbol is of sparkling water twirling down a dark hole set onto a tiled background. Portfolio: Refuse, secretions, purification Domains: City (http://realmshelps.dandello.net/cgi-bin/domain.pl?City), Commode (see below), Gluttony (http://realmshelps.dandello.net/cgi-bin/domain.pl?Gluttony), Water Cleric Training: The training of clerics is normally done by other holy men who partake of blessed spirits until they feel the call of Porcelain. A call so strong that the truly dedicated will rush to him and deposit their offering within the holy bowl. Quests: Clerics of Porcelain tend not to travel extensively, but when they do they seek to convert the disbelievers and heretics, particularly those that instead give their devotions and offerings to Tree, or even Wall. Those that will not convert in spite of all wisdom will be shown the true holiness of Porcelain. The infidel will be held within so that the swirling waters may cool his brow and fill his ears until he hears the calling. Prayers: Communion with Porcelain usually takes place about the shrine and are usually lowly muttered and simple. "Oh please, oh please, come on!" or even a groaning of 'Oh god...' are standard and well respected prayers. Fervent followers in the throes of worship may even begin to speak in high pitched whines and gurgles. Temples: Temples of Porcelain are located most often in cities and towns, though most homes anywhere have at least one small temple. Public temples are usually tiled and usually contain numerous private shrines for individual devotions. Here they may sit in meditation, reading the holy magazines or papers. One can easily detect the particularly devout as the bowl it runneths over with their offerings. Rites: The rites of Porcelain often include great feasts of food and strong drink, with holy legumes served in plenty. One is encouraged to embibe as much as one can so that their offerings to Porcelain will be of great abundance. -=-=-=-=- Commode Domain Granted Ability: You gain immunity to poison. Commode Domain Spells 1. Grease 2. Whispering Wind 3. Stinking Cloud 4. Control Water 5. Cloudkill 6. Repulsion 7. Prismatic Spray 8. Clenched Fist 9. Wish
Ornum 09-08-07, 06:12 PM	HA! Nice bit of humor to inject into what has gotten to be such a serious forum lately. I absolutely must see this god's planar realm. Well, not so much see as read a write-up.
The Vorpal Tribble 09-10-07, 10:46 AM	Most likely some place where all the refuse and unwanted debris of the multiverse accumulates. Will think on it. Btw, for some reason this slightly paraphrased lyrics from one of Simon and Garfunkle's songs came to mind... And the people bowed and prayed To the neon God they made. And the sign flashed out its warning, In the words that it was forming. And the signs said, the words of the prophets Are written on the restroom walls And tenement halls. And whispered in the sounds of silence...
Rickiel 09-10-07, 09:26 PM	So tell me, are the worshipers in the larger temples segregated into male/female shrine rooms as typically commonplace of many an established institution? :confused: And what does Porcelain think of Urinal?
sicsemperjohn 09-10-07, 10:04 PM	Urinal must be some kind of lesser form of Porcelain, as only his male followers can worship Urinal conveniently.
ssvegeta555 09-11-07, 01:26 AM	What about the phrase, "praying to the porcelain god", i.e. kneeling down and puking. :D
The Vorpal Tribble 09-11-07, 10:21 AM	So tell me, are the worshipers in the larger temples segregated into male/female shrine rooms as typically commonplace of many an established institution? :confused: That they are. Each gender must give their offerings in their own way. And what does Porcelain think of Urinal? Urinal is but one of the many forms that Porcelain takes. What about the phrase, "praying to the porcelain god", i.e. kneeling down and puking. That is where this concept originated, yes :rolleyes:
Ornum 09-11-07, 11:04 AM	Urinal is but one of the many forms that Porcelain takes. An aspect of the god, then. What of "Sink", who also gets some of the same "prayers"? Rival? Or possibly spouse? Then there's Portapot. Another aspect? Or an interloper-type god that is trying to steal away worship? (And yes, I watched Austin Powers last night, so the toilet humor therein is still fresh in my mind.)
Rickiel 09-11-07, 06:24 PM	I've come to realize something. Porcelain has a very good relationship with children for one of his many aspects must be a benign, nonthreatening, and color-safe Potty Trainer! :D
Wall 09-11-07, 09:25 PM	Quests: Clerics of Porcelain tend not to travel extensively, but when they do they seek to convert the disbelievers and heretics, particularly those that instead give their devotions and offerings to Tree, or even [B]Wall. ... ... ...You'd think I would have known about this. Anyway, this is a fun idea, Vorpal Tribble. So Porcelain's allies include Bidet I assume, but what is the relationship with Potpourri, who seems to invade upon Porcelain's territory with fragrant fury?
The Vorpal Tribble 09-21-07, 10:01 PM	An aspect of the god, then. What of "Sink", who also gets some of the same "prayers"? Rival? Or possibly spouse? Then there's Portapot. Another aspect? Or an interloper-type god that is trying to steal away worship? All are but various faces of the great and generous Porcelain. So Porcelain's allies include Bidet I assume, but what is the relationship with Potpourri, who seems to invade upon Porcelain's territory with fragrant fury? Incense my good man, incense.
ArgulFraster 09-22-07, 01:16 PM	:snrk: bwa...bwa...BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAA!