1,001 Things Not To Give PCs [Archive] - Wizards Community

1,001 Things Not To Give PCs [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Cernunnos56
03-25-08, 02:45 PM From one DM to another. We have all made bad DM mistakes before...so let’s compile a list of 1,001 things NOT to give to PCs. I will start this list off.

Halfling skip rocks (Halfling rouges with sneak attack)

Ring Gates with no weight limit (Again, Halfling rouges.)

Endless Decanter of HOLY Water (Yeah a level 6 character, destroying a CR-18 undead BBEG in 1 round, not khul!)

A boat (Unless the PCs are going to be sailing. Don’t ask.)
Seeker95
03-25-08, 02:51 PM Monks with weapon-enhancement-able fists.
Numetal357
03-25-08, 03:04 PM Holy Avengers to 1st level Paladins!
JasonOrlandoHawk
03-25-08, 03:09 PM 7) Peace of mind. :cool:
VrecknidjX
03-25-08, 03:29 PM Ring of Wishes
Magic items that overcome the DR of an otherwise easy-to-defeat foe
A flying machine
Access to royalty
Keys to the dungeon
Too many options

Dave
Captain_Madrick
03-25-08, 03:49 PM Vorpal as a common enhancement that is easy to obtain :S
Shiftkitty
03-25-08, 03:50 PM A best friend named Pun-Pun.

Seriously, access to a magic shop that sells anything other than spell components

ALONG WITH

Time to wait for that special-order wand to be shipped from a rare wand dealer in Kara-Tur

ALONG WITH

My brother as DM.

B is for the Bullcrap Rerolling You Have To Do Until You Get The Result He Wanted You To Get
R is for the Rambling Storyline and the Railroading
O is for the Obvious Clues
K is for the Killer Direction the Dungeon Could Have Gone With Better DMing
E is for the Easily Demoralized BBEG Who Surrenders As Soon As You Draw Your Sword
N is for the NPC Who Always Has A Ton Of Supremely Magical Equipment To Sell You Dirt Cheap
navar100
03-25-08, 04:20 PM Only for a particular player in our group

1) A cloak of displacement
2) An item of teleport
3) Bag of holding and/or portable hole

Yet the DM gives these to him every campaign, eventually.

At least this campaign it's only the item of teleport that makes him want to do reckless things. I think he's learned how to use the others properly, finally.

:D
annoyinglizardvoice
03-25-08, 05:14 PM A flightless, non-intelegent dragon called Matilda who is big enough and strong enough to carry the whole party in a howdah and can kill most key npcs before I've got the miniature out of the box.

Chance to loot the bodies (one player takes this to a whole new level).
lunoc
03-25-08, 05:16 PM a halfling in a barrel

worst thing they anyone gave me (together):
2 decanters of endless water
4 peices of wood
several bags of dust of dryness
and or shuriken

flood the dungeon and just wait for the kobolds to float up. first time i used it i went flying. but try using it inside a dragons stomach. from then on that character was known as sir mcgiver
Etarnon
03-26-08, 01:53 PM A scroll of Chuck Norris Summoning.
Mr_Seth
03-26-08, 02:02 PM One thing, and only one thing:

Control.

As long as you keep that firmly in your hands, they can have anything else they want. :3
MacrossSD
03-26-08, 02:03 PM 29) The Deck of Many Things
30) Both a Wand of Wonder and a Rod of Absorbtion (in the hands of most mages, the wand is near-useless, so a good trick is to empty the charges into the rod and have a good number of extra spells to play around with for the day)
31) The old-school girdles of giant's strength (Any of them can be game breaking in the hands of a competent player)
32) Ring of Charm Person
33) Ring of Berserk Strength (Really! I know this is a cursed item, but one of the players in the group wanted one. He also acquired a large number of scroills of remove curse so that he could attempt to have it removed before he assaulted the other party members. The ring went bye-bye after he did nearly kill a party member after running out of scrolls.)
34) Access to the monster manual :P
Sunic_Flames
03-26-08, 02:32 PM An Adamantine weapon (only bad if to a Sunder happy PC). Their party will quickly come to hate them.
Maldin
03-27-08, 01:25 AM The Codex of the Infinite Planes (http://melkot.com/arcane/codex.html). ;-)

Denis, aka "Maldin"
Maldin's Greyhawk http://melkot.com
I_Only_Read_Thread_Titles
03-27-08, 02:42 AM Herpes (what a great and generous DM I am for sharing my gifts with my younger, more attractive, players)
Escef
03-27-08, 12:46 PM A permanent Anti-Magic Aura item.
Seeker95
03-27-08, 01:02 PM A permanent Anti-Magic Aura item.Not so bad.
Just make sure you give it to the wizard, cleric, or druid. :devil:
Bloodsoul
03-27-08, 03:10 PM 39) Decanter of Endless Rum
MacrossSD
03-27-08, 03:17 PM Bloodsoul, after some adventures I've DM'd I could do with a decanter of endless rum...or at least endless vodka martinis :P

40) a lightsaber
41) any sort of firearm AND the proper ammo when in a fantasy setting (now, if you did like a friend of mine did once, and gave a smartass who wished for a Desert Eagle and ammo the proper gun, but 88 mm FlAK* rounds for ammo, then it's a source of endless fun :evillaugh )
42) cloak of the bat
43) ring of truth (ouch...I was having a hard time being sneaky with that one...)

*Not a typo. "FlAK" stands for "Fluegzeug Abwehr Kanone."
ramzca
03-27-08, 03:18 PM 44) Wand of Suicide Bombing (Don't Ask)

45) Wand of Infinite Fireballs (The staff that allows you to attatch three wands at a cost of blah blah... Three of them with a Halfling Rogue. "Door is trapped, hold on, stand back-" Fires, 20ft-20ft of the whole wall is gone, "-alright, lets go").

46) A small rock
MacrossSD
03-27-08, 03:22 PM 46) A small rock

I should be asking about the wand of suicide bombing, but the "small rock" intregues me more...:confused:
ramzca
03-27-08, 03:25 PM I should be asking about the wand of suicide bombing, but the "small rock" intregues me more...:confused:

Well... Its a long story that involves a small rock, a bored halfling rogue, a overpowered wizard, and an ancient dragon...
Escef
03-27-08, 03:28 PM 45) Wand of Infinite Fireballs (The staff that allows you to attatch three wands at a cost of blah blah... Three of them with a Halfling Rogue. "Door is trapped, hold on, stand back-" Fires, 20ft-20ft of the whole wall is gone, "-alright, lets go").

Stone has hardness 8 and 15 hp per inch. Your average 10d6 fireball only does 35 damage. That isn't even enough to melt 2 inches deep of rock. Burn through a door, yes; but not the stone. And if they keep doing this maybe, just maybe, they'll bring the dungeon down on their heads.

Edit: And Macross, wtf is wrong with the Cloak of the Bat?
ramzca
03-27-08, 03:34 PM Stone has hardness 8 and 15 hp per inch. Your average 10d6 fireball only does 35 damage. That isn't even enough to melt 2 inches deep of rock. Burn through a door, yes; but not the stone. And if they keep doing this maybe, just maybe, they'll bring the dungeon down on their heads.

Edit: And Macross, wtf is wrong with the Cloak of the Bat?

Actually, it would melt through seven inches of stone; if you use all three of them.
MacrossSD
03-27-08, 03:43 PM Edit: And Macross, wtf is wrong with the Cloak of the Bat?

Sorry...I was remembering the old 1e-2e version, where it granted 90% chance of invisibility in shadows and acted as a robe of protection +2 along with the polymorph powers and hanging upside-down.
Escef
03-27-08, 03:58 PM Actually, it would melt through seven inches of stone; if you use all three of them.

On a double check, fire deals half to objects before subtracting hardness. So the 35 damage (average) from a 10d6 fireball is halved to 17 (rounded down from 17.5) to the wall. Subtract 8 hardness, 9 damage gets through. It won't even melt through the first inch. If you allow 3 fireballs to stack (which is an ok judgment call, the rules are moot on this), you're looking at 52 damage. 8 hardness and 15 hp from the first inch brings this down to 29 damage remaining for the inch beneath, which sucks the damage remaining down to 6 after being destroyed, not enough to affect a third inch of stone. The average dungeon wall is a foot thick.

And where does all this molten stone go? After blowing through a few walls, if the denizens of the dungeon haven't sat up and taken notice, than they will when there is a collapse from the dungeon's structural integrity going down the toilet. But maybe the PCs will dig themselves out with more fireballs?

Edit: And if you only apply hardness once, 52 damage - 8 hardness = 44 damage, almost enough for 3 inches.
ramzca
03-27-08, 04:07 PM On a double check, fire deals half to objects before subtracting hardness. So the 35 damage (average) from a 10d6 fireball is halved to 17 (rounded down from 17.5) to the wall. Subtract 8 hardness, 9 damage gets through. It won't even melt through the first inch. If you allow 3 fireballs to stack (which is an ok judgment call, the rules are moot on this), you're looking at 52 damage. 8 hardness and 15 hp from the first inch brings this down to 29 damage remaining for the inch beneath, which sucks the damage remaining down to 6 after being destroyed, not enough to affect a third inch of stone. The average dungeon wall is a foot thick.

And where does all this molten stone go? After blowing through a few walls, if the denizens of the dungeon haven't sat up and taken notice, than they will when there is a collapse from the dungeon's structural integrity going down the toilet. But maybe the PCs will dig themselves out with more fireballs?

lol, didn't think that through. Thanks for explaining it though. Also, the wand falls into the 'Small Rock' story. :P
annoyinglizardvoice
03-27-08, 05:50 PM Rusty old swords. I told some player that the swords they had just looted were to rusty to be sold, but they kept them anyway. Next adventure they managed to solve every puzzle and trap with some wierd use of these swords.
OCyrus1989
03-27-08, 08:44 PM A magic flying shield that accelerates to the speed of light.

Exploding blimps that can be used as flails.

A suicide kit stored in the basement of the mage's guild.

Anything stored in the basement of the mage's guild.
pigknight
03-27-08, 08:46 PM A legacy weapon that they get to make up as they go (the only time legacy weapons ever will be over powered).
navar100
03-28-08, 04:15 AM Head of Vecna
ramzca
03-28-08, 08:04 AM 54(or53): Holy Hand Grenade in a fantasy setting.

55: The Bow of Firing Many-Arrows (Dunno, a wizard created this and the ranger shot sixteen arrows at once. :raincloud)
The_Rouge
03-28-08, 01:22 PM 56: a +5 greatsword of vorpal speed along with a +5 full plate of heavy fortification (i actually had this at lvl 10 once!)
Reality_Czech
03-28-08, 03:16 PM Your campaign notes.
Eldrith_Hawkflight
03-28-08, 03:54 PM Well dont give mybrother rocks
Don't give me the chance to throw a warhammer

and don't give any player a half-orc
free time
anything magical
halflings
booze
cacheek
03-28-08, 05:10 PM A ring with a button on top, the pressing of which launches a massive nuclear arsenal and destroys the world leaving only a fantasy Donald Trump, who has made billions of platinum on selling condo-castles, and Martha Stuart, who has devised multiple ways to cook dungeon-rat etoufee and desire table-top panoramas of goblin heads mixed with tulips, to repopulate the planet.

The mind boggles.
themocaw
03-28-08, 05:58 PM A mule.

I had a friend who played a dwarf in 2.0 who was asked (with me, the elf) to watch over the party mule while the others had fun on some bizarre justification that the humans wouldn't trust us if there were demihumans. In the end, when the rest of the party botched the mission, he slaughtered that mule, made a muleskin cape, drank its blood and saved the rest to ferment into wine, then lit himself on fire and charged the fortress screaming like mad, with an audible glamer spell cast by me amplifying his voice.

One guess as to his alignment.
Reality_Czech
03-28-08, 06:44 PM I was going to guess his INT and WIS, not his alignment.
ClericOfAspel
03-28-08, 11:39 PM I once gave a ranger a small set of doubley-keen arrows, so they had a thread range of 17-20. The thing is, I'd done it from memory and so forgot that the critical on arrows is X3..not X2.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the character (called Raef) often managed to get impossible criticals by chance and kil a lot of things he was never supposed to be able to kill and kill other things far too quickly...and I made it a lot worse.

We called it "Doing a Raef." It was compounded further when, because of this, he killed (far too early) a character I'd given a revolver to, with limited ammunition. The idea was that the baddy would use up the ammunition before he was killed. Nope, one "Raef" later and Raef had a revolver with three bullets.

It's a good thing he left the campaign. The player himself has a short attention span when it comes to D&D. He'd often get bored and his character would mysteriously dissapear for no reason and then reappear under even more bizarre circumstances...
Jigglebuns_the_swift
03-29-08, 12:07 AM A scroll of Chuck Norris Summoning.

ZOMG ROFL, �the dm wasnt a big chuck norris worshiper was he?
kedcoleman
03-29-08, 12:08 AM #...60-something?: Hope
Jigglebuns_the_swift
03-29-08, 12:11 AM a wish spell that lets you wish for a comatose great gold wyrm at L1, ImAgInE tHe ExPeRiEnCe!
Ramien
03-29-08, 03:14 AM a wish spell that lets you wish for a comatose great gold wyrm at L1, ImAgInE tHe ExPeRiEnCe!

Zero experience? The 'Comatose' template drops the CR down to 0, after all. :P
UAMDB
03-29-08, 10:32 AM I can never let a DM allow me to have a portable hole maker, even though it is in the PHB for crying out loud.
gixanthrax
03-29-08, 02:18 PM A Kender DMPC to a LG party.

A handbook of "1001 Insults to make dwarves really angry" ( no save, auto rage...)

The allowance that two of them are linked in a Hooker -pimp relationship.

An extradimenisional box with 1000 storing slots. No matter what you want to put into it, it only has to fit through the lid ( 100x50 cm) Retrieving any item happens randomly and takes 1 minute. Retrieving a special item on a known slot takes 1 hour. oh, and evrything put into the box was in some kind of stasis, food did not age, people neither( no need to breathe too)
A friend of mine once gae this to our party, oh the madness.
We were pretty surprised when we found the trunk of a 100feet tree... And a demon... and 2 pounds of dog****

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Cernunnos56 03-25-08, 02:45 PM	From one DM to another. We have all made bad DM mistakes before...so let’s compile a list of 1,001 things NOT to give to PCs. I will start this list off. Halfling skip rocks (Halfling rouges with sneak attack) Ring Gates with no weight limit (Again, Halfling rouges.) Endless Decanter of HOLY Water (Yeah a level 6 character, destroying a CR-18 undead BBEG in 1 round, not khul!) A boat (Unless the PCs are going to be sailing. Don’t ask.)
Seeker95 03-25-08, 02:51 PM	Monks with weapon-enhancement-able fists.
Numetal357 03-25-08, 03:04 PM	Holy Avengers to 1st level Paladins!
JasonOrlandoHawk 03-25-08, 03:09 PM	7) Peace of mind. :cool:
VrecknidjX 03-25-08, 03:29 PM	Ring of Wishes Magic items that overcome the DR of an otherwise easy-to-defeat foe A flying machine Access to royalty Keys to the dungeon Too many options Dave
Captain_Madrick 03-25-08, 03:49 PM	Vorpal as a common enhancement that is easy to obtain :S
Shiftkitty 03-25-08, 03:50 PM	A best friend named Pun-Pun. Seriously, access to a magic shop that sells anything other than spell components ALONG WITH Time to wait for that special-order wand to be shipped from a rare wand dealer in Kara-Tur ALONG WITH My brother as DM. B is for the Bullcrap Rerolling You Have To Do Until You Get The Result He Wanted You To Get R is for the Rambling Storyline and the Railroading O is for the Obvious Clues K is for the Killer Direction the Dungeon Could Have Gone With Better DMing E is for the Easily Demoralized BBEG Who Surrenders As Soon As You Draw Your Sword N is for the NPC Who Always Has A Ton Of Supremely Magical Equipment To Sell You Dirt Cheap
navar100 03-25-08, 04:20 PM	Only for a particular player in our group 1) A cloak of displacement 2) An item of teleport 3) Bag of holding and/or portable hole Yet the DM gives these to him every campaign, eventually. At least this campaign it's only the item of teleport that makes him want to do reckless things. I think he's learned how to use the others properly, finally. :D
annoyinglizardvoice 03-25-08, 05:14 PM	A flightless, non-intelegent dragon called Matilda who is big enough and strong enough to carry the whole party in a howdah and can kill most key npcs before I've got the miniature out of the box. Chance to loot the bodies (one player takes this to a whole new level).
lunoc 03-25-08, 05:16 PM	a halfling in a barrel worst thing they anyone gave me (together): 2 decanters of endless water 4 peices of wood several bags of dust of dryness and or shuriken flood the dungeon and just wait for the kobolds to float up. first time i used it i went flying. but try using it inside a dragons stomach. from then on that character was known as sir mcgiver
Etarnon 03-26-08, 01:53 PM	A scroll of Chuck Norris Summoning.
Mr_Seth 03-26-08, 02:02 PM	One thing, and only one thing: Control. As long as you keep that firmly in your hands, they can have anything else they want. :3
MacrossSD 03-26-08, 02:03 PM	29) The Deck of Many Things 30) Both a Wand of Wonder and a Rod of Absorbtion (in the hands of most mages, the wand is near-useless, so a good trick is to empty the charges into the rod and have a good number of extra spells to play around with for the day) 31) The old-school girdles of giant's strength (Any of them can be game breaking in the hands of a competent player) 32) Ring of Charm Person 33) Ring of Berserk Strength (Really! I know this is a cursed item, but one of the players in the group wanted one. He also acquired a large number of scroills of remove curse so that he could attempt to have it removed before he assaulted the other party members. The ring went bye-bye after he did nearly kill a party member after running out of scrolls.) 34) Access to the monster manual :P
Sunic_Flames 03-26-08, 02:32 PM	An Adamantine weapon (only bad if to a Sunder happy PC). Their party will quickly come to hate them.
Maldin 03-27-08, 01:25 AM	The Codex of the Infinite Planes (http://melkot.com/arcane/codex.html). ;-) Denis, aka "Maldin" Maldin's Greyhawk http://melkot.com
I_Only_Read_Thread_Titles 03-27-08, 02:42 AM	Herpes (what a great and generous DM I am for sharing my gifts with my younger, more attractive, players)
Escef 03-27-08, 12:46 PM	A permanent Anti-Magic Aura item.
Seeker95 03-27-08, 01:02 PM	A permanent Anti-Magic Aura item.Not so bad. Just make sure you give it to the wizard, cleric, or druid. :devil:
Bloodsoul 03-27-08, 03:10 PM	39) Decanter of Endless Rum
MacrossSD 03-27-08, 03:17 PM	Bloodsoul, after some adventures I've DM'd I could do with a decanter of endless rum...or at least endless vodka martinis :P 40) a lightsaber 41) any sort of firearm AND the proper ammo when in a fantasy setting (now, if you did like a friend of mine did once, and gave a smartass who wished for a Desert Eagle and ammo the proper gun, but 88 mm FlAK* rounds for ammo, then it's a source of endless fun :evillaugh ) 42) cloak of the bat 43) ring of truth (ouch...I was having a hard time being sneaky with that one...) *Not a typo. "FlAK" stands for "Fluegzeug Abwehr Kanone."
ramzca 03-27-08, 03:18 PM	44) Wand of Suicide Bombing (Don't Ask) 45) Wand of Infinite Fireballs (The staff that allows you to attatch three wands at a cost of blah blah... Three of them with a Halfling Rogue. "Door is trapped, hold on, stand back-" Fires, 20ft-20ft of the whole wall is gone, "-alright, lets go"). 46) A small rock
MacrossSD 03-27-08, 03:22 PM	46) A small rock I should be asking about the wand of suicide bombing, but the "small rock" intregues me more...:confused:
ramzca 03-27-08, 03:25 PM	I should be asking about the wand of suicide bombing, but the "small rock" intregues me more...:confused: Well... Its a long story that involves a small rock, a bored halfling rogue, a overpowered wizard, and an ancient dragon...
Escef 03-27-08, 03:28 PM	45) Wand of Infinite Fireballs (The staff that allows you to attatch three wands at a cost of blah blah... Three of them with a Halfling Rogue. "Door is trapped, hold on, stand back-" Fires, 20ft-20ft of the whole wall is gone, "-alright, lets go"). Stone has hardness 8 and 15 hp per inch. Your average 10d6 fireball only does 35 damage. That isn't even enough to melt 2 inches deep of rock. Burn through a door, yes; but not the stone. And if they keep doing this maybe, just maybe, they'll bring the dungeon down on their heads. Edit: And Macross, wtf is wrong with the Cloak of the Bat?
ramzca 03-27-08, 03:34 PM	Stone has hardness 8 and 15 hp per inch. Your average 10d6 fireball only does 35 damage. That isn't even enough to melt 2 inches deep of rock. Burn through a door, yes; but not the stone. And if they keep doing this maybe, just maybe, they'll bring the dungeon down on their heads. Edit: And Macross, wtf is wrong with the Cloak of the Bat? Actually, it would melt through seven inches of stone; if you use all three of them.
MacrossSD 03-27-08, 03:43 PM	Edit: And Macross, wtf is wrong with the Cloak of the Bat? Sorry...I was remembering the old 1e-2e version, where it granted 90% chance of invisibility in shadows and acted as a robe of protection +2 along with the polymorph powers and hanging upside-down.
Escef 03-27-08, 03:58 PM	Actually, it would melt through seven inches of stone; if you use all three of them. On a double check, fire deals half to objects before subtracting hardness. So the 35 damage (average) from a 10d6 fireball is halved to 17 (rounded down from 17.5) to the wall. Subtract 8 hardness, 9 damage gets through. It won't even melt through the first inch. If you allow 3 fireballs to stack (which is an ok judgment call, the rules are moot on this), you're looking at 52 damage. 8 hardness and 15 hp from the first inch brings this down to 29 damage remaining for the inch beneath, which sucks the damage remaining down to 6 after being destroyed, not enough to affect a third inch of stone. The average dungeon wall is a foot thick. And where does all this molten stone go? After blowing through a few walls, if the denizens of the dungeon haven't sat up and taken notice, than they will when there is a collapse from the dungeon's structural integrity going down the toilet. But maybe the PCs will dig themselves out with more fireballs? Edit: And if you only apply hardness once, 52 damage - 8 hardness = 44 damage, almost enough for 3 inches.
ramzca 03-27-08, 04:07 PM	On a double check, fire deals half to objects before subtracting hardness. So the 35 damage (average) from a 10d6 fireball is halved to 17 (rounded down from 17.5) to the wall. Subtract 8 hardness, 9 damage gets through. It won't even melt through the first inch. If you allow 3 fireballs to stack (which is an ok judgment call, the rules are moot on this), you're looking at 52 damage. 8 hardness and 15 hp from the first inch brings this down to 29 damage remaining for the inch beneath, which sucks the damage remaining down to 6 after being destroyed, not enough to affect a third inch of stone. The average dungeon wall is a foot thick. And where does all this molten stone go? After blowing through a few walls, if the denizens of the dungeon haven't sat up and taken notice, than they will when there is a collapse from the dungeon's structural integrity going down the toilet. But maybe the PCs will dig themselves out with more fireballs? lol, didn't think that through. Thanks for explaining it though. Also, the wand falls into the 'Small Rock' story. :P
annoyinglizardvoice 03-27-08, 05:50 PM	Rusty old swords. I told some player that the swords they had just looted were to rusty to be sold, but they kept them anyway. Next adventure they managed to solve every puzzle and trap with some wierd use of these swords.
OCyrus1989 03-27-08, 08:44 PM	A magic flying shield that accelerates to the speed of light. Exploding blimps that can be used as flails. A suicide kit stored in the basement of the mage's guild. Anything stored in the basement of the mage's guild.
pigknight 03-27-08, 08:46 PM	A legacy weapon that they get to make up as they go (the only time legacy weapons ever will be over powered).
navar100 03-28-08, 04:15 AM	Head of Vecna
ramzca 03-28-08, 08:04 AM	54(or53): Holy Hand Grenade in a fantasy setting. 55: The Bow of Firing Many-Arrows (Dunno, a wizard created this and the ranger shot sixteen arrows at once. :raincloud)
The_Rouge 03-28-08, 01:22 PM	56: a +5 greatsword of vorpal speed along with a +5 full plate of heavy fortification (i actually had this at lvl 10 once!)
Reality_Czech 03-28-08, 03:16 PM	Your campaign notes.
Eldrith_Hawkflight 03-28-08, 03:54 PM	Well dont give mybrother rocks Don't give me the chance to throw a warhammer and don't give any player a half-orc free time anything magical halflings booze
cacheek 03-28-08, 05:10 PM	A ring with a button on top, the pressing of which launches a massive nuclear arsenal and destroys the world leaving only a fantasy Donald Trump, who has made billions of platinum on selling condo-castles, and Martha Stuart, who has devised multiple ways to cook dungeon-rat etoufee and desire table-top panoramas of goblin heads mixed with tulips, to repopulate the planet. The mind boggles.
themocaw 03-28-08, 05:58 PM	A mule. I had a friend who played a dwarf in 2.0 who was asked (with me, the elf) to watch over the party mule while the others had fun on some bizarre justification that the humans wouldn't trust us if there were demihumans. In the end, when the rest of the party botched the mission, he slaughtered that mule, made a muleskin cape, drank its blood and saved the rest to ferment into wine, then lit himself on fire and charged the fortress screaming like mad, with an audible glamer spell cast by me amplifying his voice. One guess as to his alignment.
Reality_Czech 03-28-08, 06:44 PM	I was going to guess his INT and WIS, not his alignment.
ClericOfAspel 03-28-08, 11:39 PM	I once gave a ranger a small set of doubley-keen arrows, so they had a thread range of 17-20. The thing is, I'd done it from memory and so forgot that the critical on arrows is X3..not X2. As if that wasn't bad enough, the character (called Raef) often managed to get impossible criticals by chance and kil a lot of things he was never supposed to be able to kill and kill other things far too quickly...and I made it a lot worse. We called it "Doing a Raef." It was compounded further when, because of this, he killed (far too early) a character I'd given a revolver to, with limited ammunition. The idea was that the baddy would use up the ammunition before he was killed. Nope, one "Raef" later and Raef had a revolver with three bullets. It's a good thing he left the campaign. The player himself has a short attention span when it comes to D&D. He'd often get bored and his character would mysteriously dissapear for no reason and then reappear under even more bizarre circumstances...
Jigglebuns_the_swift 03-29-08, 12:07 AM	A scroll of Chuck Norris Summoning. ZOMG ROFL, �the dm wasnt a big chuck norris worshiper was he?
kedcoleman 03-29-08, 12:08 AM	#...60-something?: Hope
Jigglebuns_the_swift 03-29-08, 12:11 AM	a wish spell that lets you wish for a comatose great gold wyrm at L1, ImAgInE tHe ExPeRiEnCe!
Ramien 03-29-08, 03:14 AM	a wish spell that lets you wish for a comatose great gold wyrm at L1, ImAgInE tHe ExPeRiEnCe! Zero experience? The 'Comatose' template drops the CR down to 0, after all. :P
UAMDB 03-29-08, 10:32 AM	I can never let a DM allow me to have a portable hole maker, even though it is in the PHB for crying out loud.
gixanthrax 03-29-08, 02:18 PM	A Kender DMPC to a LG party. A handbook of "1001 Insults to make dwarves really angry" ( no save, auto rage...) The allowance that two of them are linked in a Hooker -pimp relationship. An extradimenisional box with 1000 storing slots. No matter what you want to put into it, it only has to fit through the lid ( 100x50 cm) Retrieving any item happens randomly and takes 1 minute. Retrieving a special item on a known slot takes 1 hour. oh, and evrything put into the box was in some kind of stasis, food did not age, people neither( no need to breathe too) A friend of mine once gae this to our party, oh the madness. We were pretty surprised when we found the trunk of a 100feet tree... And a demon... and 2 pounds of dog****