Post/Author/DateTime	Post
shalitanior1018 10-06-07, 10:05 AM	this is a forum about funny things adventures might say before they die(something like:i regret nothing well...maby a few thing but,i regret a few thing!!!!)or thing that might ive a clue to how he died(like lets split up or camon we can take him:elf: :fight!: :pint: )
shalitanior1018 10-06-07, 10:08 AM	also add a topic(like dragons) and the next person needs to use that topic for the next post topic:dragons
shalitanior1018 10-06-07, 10:08 AM	we cant take them,theres only 4 topic:hydra
reduxockham 10-06-07, 10:47 AM	"I'll be right with you guys, I just need to cut this off." topic kobolds
Num0ch 10-06-07, 11:02 AM	"Hey you guys this Kobold can't be that hard to beat... His name is Pun-Pun..." Topic: Hermaphrodites Okay just kidding Topic: Chain Devil
navar100 10-06-07, 11:38 AM	"It's ok, it's not like a Spiked Chain tripper build." topic: orc
Trondant 10-06-07, 11:55 AM	I kick in the door and I see.... 3,872 OF 'EM? topic: cheesy monty python references
camthalion 10-06-07, 11:56 AM	"It's ok, it's not like a Spiked Chain tripper build." topic: orc "How hard to beat can one Orc be? He's only got one eye! Come here you ... what did you say your name was? Gruumsh! Come here, Gruumsh." topic: ogres
Foxhengeyokai 10-06-07, 12:19 PM	"How hard to beat can one Orc be? He's only got one eye! Come here you ... what did you say your name was? Gruumsh! Come here, Gruumsh." topic: ogres "Hah, big, dumb, and I'll bet they're really slow too. Take thi- *splat*" Next Topic: Lions, dire or otherwise.
camthalion 10-06-07, 12:22 PM	I kick in the door and I see.... 3,872 OF 'EM? topic: cheesy monty python references Whoops stepped on your toes there. Cheesy monty python references? that's a tough one. How's this paraphrase: Well, so far we've fought gray medium ooze and spam; black pudding and spam; Ochre Jelly and spam; spam; spam; spam; elder black pudding gargantuan spam; and ... what's next? Gelitinous cube and spam? Sorry, best I could do. topic: ogres
camthalion 10-06-07, 12:23 PM	"Hah, big, dumb, and I'll bet they're really slow too. Take thi- *splat*" Next Topic: Lions, dire or otherwise. damn, I type slow!
Bhaelfur 10-06-07, 01:00 PM	Next Topic: Lions, dire or otherwise. "Here kitty kitty kitty..." Next Topic: Gelatinous Cube
navar100 10-06-07, 01:27 PM	"What's so tough about jello?" topic: rust monster
Trondant 10-06-07, 01:29 PM	"I grapple him" next topic germs
SovietCanuck 10-06-07, 02:55 PM	"What do you mean? T-Virus?" Topic: Liches
Koplow92 10-06-07, 05:20 PM	Let's get em! They can't live forever, can they? Topic: Illithids
lulzapalooza 10-06-07, 05:25 PM	"I grapple him!" Topic: Cthulhu
Stoyrm 10-06-07, 05:41 PM	nvm
Bhaelfur 10-06-07, 05:46 PM	Topic: Cthulhu "I stare straight in his eyes... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Topic: Succubus
FreAkOuTRG 10-06-07, 05:50 PM	"I stare straight in his eyes... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Topic: Succubus "Hey baby, If I said you had a great body would you hold it against me?" Topic: Halflings
navar100 10-06-07, 06:58 PM	"No, they are not kender!" topic: paladins
Einvaldurinn_mikli 10-06-07, 07:07 PM	"Where did I leave that blasted lead sheet?" Topic: pointy things.
IRememberCecil 10-06-07, 08:40 PM	"Where did I leave that blasted lead sheet?" Topic: pointy things. "I charge and leap attack!" Topic: Bears.
LordDraxcis 10-06-07, 08:42 PM	spears are for losers! charge! (meet the +4 spear of something that killed me :rolleyes: ) next topic: wizards EDIT: darn you, Cecil!
lunoc 10-06-07, 08:56 PM	barbarian: what can he do? hes got no armor or weapons.
Dragonturtle 10-06-07, 09:02 PM	Okay, no topic, so I'm going to go with barbarian "hey I know, lets get him angry" next topic: owlbear
FreAkOuTRG 10-06-07, 09:13 PM	Okay, no topic, so I'm going to go with barbarian "hey I know, lets get him angry" next topic: owlbear "What kind of an idiot squishes an owl and a bear together? Why not a bear and a shark or something? I mean, rea - " - Final words of Irajed Corcian, half-elf merchant that strayed too close to the bars. Topic: Barmaids
Dragonturtle 10-06-07, 09:25 PM	"Hey there" Next topic: natural causes
Genevieve_Evernight 10-06-07, 09:41 PM	"Hey there" Next topic: natural causes "Hey Jay? Race you to that volcano! Of course it's not active!" Topic: Bards
Druss_of_The_Sword 10-06-07, 09:58 PM	"Its just a bard. What could he do? Now if he were a real arcane caster" Death came three rounds later. Starting with a punch to the groin. Ouch. Next topic:Ettins
reduxockham 10-06-07, 11:12 PM	"What is that smell. Nothing that smells that bad could ambush you could it?" Next Topic: Grick
camthalion 10-07-07, 12:29 AM	"What is that smell. Nothing that smells that bad could ambush you could it?" Next Topic: Grick Spoken by the guy in front: "A grick? What's a grick? ... You just made that monster up. ... Guys? Weren't you supposed to stay right behind me? GUYS!!!" Topic: Gibbering Mouther
dragonstalker427 10-07-07, 12:35 AM	"Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never harm me." EDIT: oops forgot the topic. how about Inevitables
trappedslider 10-07-07, 12:39 AM	hm no topic so... "There's no such thing as a living dum-" *right before beaing eatten by a living dumpster* Gazebo...
Mather 10-07-07, 12:57 AM	"Its just a bard. What could he do? Now if he were a real arcane caster" Death came three rounds later. Starting with a punch to the groin. Ouch. Next topic:Ettins "Hey there four-eyes, what's with the big club?" Topic: Drow
Suzaku455 10-07-07, 01:04 AM	"Wow she's cute I'm going over to talk to her" Next topic: Commoner
Genevieve_Evernight 10-07-07, 01:16 AM	"Wow she's cute I'm going over to talk to her" Next topic: Commoner "We're lost....hey let's ask that guy over there for directions!" Topic: vampire
navar100 10-07-07, 01:29 AM	"Hello Angel" topic: Meepo
Kesthol 10-07-07, 02:35 AM	(Druid-like character): That little dragon-lizard is cute! I'm gonna go pet it.... topic: bunny rabbit with nasty sharp pointy teeth! *makes fangs with first two fingers of right hand and swipes hand & face at nearest living creature*
Dochenor 10-07-07, 02:44 AM	Its only a rabbit, you scared me half to death. I nearly soiled my armor. Topic: Beholders
Dougan Axehammer 10-07-07, 03:48 AM	"HEY!!! What are you looking at!?!" Topic: Asmodeus
Lonewolfbro 10-07-07, 05:00 AM	"look guys we made it past the first 8 how hard could this one be?" Next topic: mimics
vegetalss4 10-07-07, 06:02 AM	now for the good part. Treasure!!
KILLBOT9000 10-07-07, 07:41 AM	No topic soo...... "Who's Chuck Norris?" Topic: Crab People.
SeptimusMagistos 10-07-07, 12:44 PM	I bet they're cheap. They look like real penny pinchers. Pixies
EvilVegan 10-07-07, 12:56 PM	"I don't believe in fairies!" Topic: phasm
Dougan Axehammer 10-07-07, 04:09 PM	"What in the Nine Hells is a phasm?" Topic: Disintegrate Really what is a phasm? I've never heard one. What's the source?
lulzapalooza 10-07-07, 04:24 PM	"Don't point that finger at me!" Topic: Assassins
Hrefna 10-07-07, 04:26 PM	what is he some kind of gothic wanna-be in his black armor? topic: lich
Dougan Axehammer 10-07-07, 04:37 PM	"Why won't you die?!?" Topic: Neogi
lulzapalooza 10-07-07, 04:40 PM	"Why, hello little buddy." *Jumps on face* "Ah! Ah!" Topic: Paladins
adamb0nd 10-07-07, 04:41 PM	"Always remember, even though he isnt capable of smiting you, it's still a long sword" Topic: Gnomes
Bhaelfur 10-07-07, 05:57 PM	Topic: Gnomes "What's the crazy contraption he's got?" Topic: Psionics
Guardian1 10-07-07, 06:10 PM	"What's the crazy contraption he's got?" Topic: Psionics "And that's why I wear this tin hat, so you can't read my mind. What? That's not all that psionics can do? Uh-oh, I think I'll leave no-." Topic: Clerics.
soulnova 10-07-07, 06:13 PM	"MY GOD WILL PROTECT ME!" Swords
Kaunka 10-07-07, 06:19 PM	Topic: Clerics. The single most important member in the party that no one wants to play. Topic: Belt if Gender Bending (who knows the reference)
LordDraxcis 10-07-07, 07:28 PM	"What in the Nine Hells is a phasm?" Topic: Disintegrate Really what is a phasm? I've never heard one. What's the source? phasm is in the moster manual 1, after 'phase spider', I think.
lulzapalooza 10-07-07, 10:35 PM	Topic: Clerics. The single most important member in the party that no one wants to play. Topic: Belt if Gender Bending (who knows the reference) Baldur's Gate. The ogre had it.
Dougan Axehammer 10-07-07, 11:11 PM	Topic: Clerics. The single most important member in the party that no one wants to play. Topic: Belt if Gender Bending (who knows the reference) Don't know where gender bending came from, but I recognize girdle of masc./fem., so: "I am no man" *puts on belt* (bonus points for this reference :) ) Topic: Secret Agent Man
lulzapalooza 10-07-07, 11:34 PM	Don't know where gender bending came from, but I recognize girdle of masc./fem., so: "I am no man" *puts on belt* (bonus points for this reference :) ) Topic: Secret Agent Man Lord of the rings. "You look pretty trustworthy, let me tell you a secret..." Topic: Lurkers Below
EvilVegan 10-08-07, 10:05 AM	Not to derail the thread, but a phasm is this: http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG208b.jpg Phasm. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phasm) I thought it was in the 3.5 Monster Manual...
vegetalss4 10-08-07, 10:55 AM	Don't know where gender bending came from, but I recognize girdle of masc./fem., so: "I am no man" *puts on belt* (bonus points for this reference :) ) Topic: Secret Agent Man Order of the stick? I thought it was in the 3.5 Monster Manual... it is
Edwin_Durock 10-08-07, 11:03 AM	No topic. *Hands completly normal scythe to apprentice* (note i had a crit with it on a spider and killed it earlier in the game) "Just hit that kobald with this when i wave my arms. also note....those were my necromancer's last words as his appretice criticaly missed and decapitated HIM. Topic: Ghoul
Trondant 10-08-07, 12:39 PM	"you know what they say...kill me once, shame on you, kill me twice, shame on me" "what a ghoulish sense of humor...:rolleye2: :rimshot: topic: 12 sided die (but nog undead/barbarian reference! haha!)
lulzapalooza 10-08-07, 02:55 PM	"How much damage could a greataxe do, anyway?" Topic: Rat Swarm
Edwin_Durock 10-08-07, 03:40 PM	They are harmless....after all there isnt any cheese in this town *blinks* topic: Fruit
shalitanior1018 10-08-07, 04:57 PM	why shouldent i eat it,its not like its posioned or anything. (im sorry for any spelling errors) next:greatsword
SeptimusMagistos 10-08-07, 05:08 PM	What's so great about it, anyway? Archmages
lulzapalooza 10-08-07, 05:09 PM	"Greatsword? I thought he said great word!" Topic: Phalanx
Dougan Axehammer 10-08-07, 05:18 PM	What's so great about it, anyway? Archmages "Hah, fighter's can still kick yer arse!!!" "Greatsword? I thought he said great word!" Topic: Phalanx "Overcompensating, are we?" Topic: Raistlin Majere
lulzapalooza 10-08-07, 05:22 PM	"Terry Phillips smells." Topic: Diran Bastiaan from the Blade of the Silver Flame trilogy
Genevieve_Evernight 10-08-07, 06:15 PM	"Terry Phillips smells." Topic: Diran Bastiaan from the Blade of the Silver Flame trilogy "Yeah, yeah...your name's Diran Bastiaan. I got it. Just hand over your money!" Topic: boomstick
Spikes01k 10-08-07, 08:23 PM	"Yeah, yeah...your name's Diran Bastiaan. I got it. Just hand over your money!" Topic: boomstick "What do you mean you disjunctioned my staff of Melf's Unicorn Horn?" "Boom Stick" sense I probably flubbed this one.
Genevieve_Evernight 10-08-07, 08:28 PM	"What do you mean you disjunctioned my staff of Melf's Unicorn Horn?" "Boom Stick" sense I probably flubbed this one. It was an Army of Darkness reference.....no topic so: "I'm telling you...the dragon hasn't been seen in centuries. It MUST be dead by now." Topic: necronomicon (since boomstick only sorta worked)
avoid 10-08-07, 09:12 PM	the door is open now.
lulzapalooza 10-08-07, 11:02 PM	Topic: necronomicon (since boomstick only sorta worked) "What harm could one little book do?" *head explodes* Topic: Forest Fire
camthalion 10-09-07, 12:19 AM	"What harm could one little book do?" *head explodes* Topic: Forest Fire I don't care if dexterity was your dump stat, it's your turn to carry the lantern. Topic: Farmer's Daughter
Makuya 10-09-07, 12:26 AM	I don't care if dexterity was your dump stat, it's your turn to carry the lantern. Topic: Farmer's Daughter "Heya, wanna see my other greatsword?" Topic: Lemure (No, not a typo)
reduxockham 10-09-07, 01:03 AM	"Small devil? Easy I will just..." Said William the apprentice wizard to himself as he cast a charm spell at the rapidly approaching Lemure. Topic: A particularly talkative Tojanida
Genevieve_Evernight 10-10-07, 02:10 AM	"Small devil? Easy I will just..." Said William the apprentice wizard to himself as he cast a charm spell at the rapidly approaching Lemure. Topic: A particularly talkative Tojanida "What's it gonna take for you to shut up?!?" topic: Sheila the talking tank
Dougan Axehammer 10-10-07, 03:04 AM	"What's it going to take for you to shut up?!?" (Had to be said. :P ) Topic: Power Word
Webster 10-10-07, 03:24 AM	"Is that a 4e book the DM has?" :D
Makuya 10-10-07, 09:21 AM	Since no topic was given, I'll give ya a generic one. "Hold my beer and watch this!" Topic: 8th-level elf duskblade
Kedami 10-10-07, 02:39 PM	"I don't care if my favoured class is Wizard! I don't feel right without armour... I AM NOT A SQUISHY!" Topic: Tarrasque
Dougan Axehammer 10-10-07, 02:51 PM	"Maybe he's just hungry." Topic: Chains of Mephistopheles (http://ww2.wizards.com/Gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=Chains_of_Mephisto pheles)
EvilVegan 10-12-07, 03:56 PM	"Explain how that works again. . ." Topic: Soy Gelatinous Cube
Melblen_Cairn 10-12-07, 04:46 PM	No no its good for you, its soy. Topic: dracolich faeire dragons
camthalion 10-12-07, 05:12 PM	"Explain how that works again. . ." Topic: Soy Gelatinous Cube "Tell me again why I should be scared of a giant chunk of tofu" topic: grateful dead fans
trappedslider 10-12-07, 08:16 PM	"Whats a dead head?" Next topic CHupathingy...
Dougan Axehammer 10-13-07, 12:16 AM	"La Chupacabra? There's no such thing..." Topic: Barney the Dinosaur
camthalion 10-13-07, 12:36 AM	"La Chupacabra? There's no such thing..." Topic: Barney the Dinosaur "If he sings that song one more time, I'm going to wrap my hands around his purple throat and ..." <-- sorry, that's me as a parent. Don't know what an adventurer might say. topic: half-elves
navar100 10-13-07, 02:22 AM	"Aren't you half-human?" Topic: human
reduxockham 10-13-07, 08:21 AM	"Glork told me your mother stopped round." Topic: Flying Pig
Makuya 10-13-07, 09:45 AM	"Glork told me your mother stopped round." Topic: Flying Pig "We're in a farm! What's that orc gonna throw at us, h-URGH!" Topic: Necklace of Strangulation
EvilVegan 10-13-07, 10:17 AM	'Of course it isn't cursed, look, I'll try it on first. . .' Topic: Cheese Danish
Alastar 10-13-07, 11:27 AM	No harm could ever come out of such a delicious pastry... Next: Tentacles
DonThelonious 10-13-07, 11:38 AM	Tentacles: "I feel violated..." Next Topic: Kenders
Alastar 10-13-07, 11:49 AM	Look, i'm telling you, there'S NO WAY that kender could harm us with that magical staff!! Next subject: Polymorphed creatures
ff6shadow 10-13-07, 11:50 AM	Did you say the wizard was casting polymorph? Next Topic: Pelor Edit: Got beat.
navar100 10-13-07, 12:12 PM	Hooray for the sun god. He is the fun god. Ra ... Topic: Warblade
DonThelonious 10-13-07, 12:36 PM	War Blade: "What he gonna do 'ginst m' axe" Grag the orc barbarian... Next Topic: Warforged
EvilVegan 10-13-07, 12:39 PM	'Staring contest, you - me . . . to the DEATH!' Topic: Spanish Inquisition (it's a gimme!)
DonThelonious 10-13-07, 12:54 PM	Spanish Inquisition: " They are coming to take me away, haha they are coming to take me away..." Next Topic: Bigbys Forceful Hand
Alastar 10-13-07, 01:07 PM	What's that, is that some prepubescent adolescent school girl gimmick? If you think making me talk to the hand will stop me.... next topic: Fanatics
DonThelonious 10-13-07, 01:11 PM	What's that, is that some prepubescent adolescent school girl gimmick? If you think making me talk to the hand will stop me.... :rofl: :clap: That was good. Really good...
Alastar 10-13-07, 01:27 PM	Why thank you :wink:
trappedslider 10-13-07, 01:29 PM	What's that, is that some prepubescent adolescent school girl gimmick? If you think making me talk to the hand will stop me.... next topic: Fanatics "Whats with the whole angry mob with burning torches?" Lawyers
navar100 10-13-07, 01:32 PM	"Oh yeah? Sue me." Topic: Prestidigitation
blue_ghost11 10-13-07, 02:47 PM	"Hah, your little parlor tricks don't impress me. I bet I could perform better wizardry in my sleep!" (talking to a very vain 20th-level gnome archmage) Next Topic: Cat
navar100 10-13-07, 02:49 PM	2E "I'm a 1st level wizard; what threat can a common house cat be to me?" Topic: Hound Archon
EvilVegan 10-13-07, 02:59 PM	"Lets see what would happen if I polymorphed into a doggy biscuit!" Topic: Grass
Alastar 10-13-07, 07:01 PM	Bard: NO, GRASS!! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!!!! Fighter: along with swords, fire, lightning, blunt weapons Mage: a breeze of wind, someone shouting too loudly... (props to the one who says where this comes from) Next topic:music
navar100 10-13-07, 07:36 PM	"By the way, DM, I brought my Vanilla Ice cd." Topic: Healer
trappedslider 10-13-07, 08:56 PM	"By the way, DM, I brought my Vanilla Ice cd." Topic: Healer "What do oyu mean by asking what my HMO is?" Topic: Light bulb
Crimsondagger 10-13-07, 09:16 PM	Hello down the......thud thud thud thud Remember never when yelling down a hole put your head right over the hole. hord scarabs
Genevieve_Evernight 10-13-07, 09:20 PM	Light bulb: "I'm telling you....the power's out so there's no way I'll get electrocuted changing th--zzzzzzt" Topic: bunny slippers
Genevieve_Evernight 10-13-07, 09:21 PM	Hello down the......thud thud thud thud Remember never when yelling down a hole put your head right over the hole. hord scarabs "It's just a bunch of beetles" Topic: see previous
Hellsbells 10-13-07, 09:22 PM	Yah know I really like this neckl- glurgafjhjasgr Next topic: people who dont read good
trappedslider 10-13-07, 09:24 PM	Yah know I really like this neckl- glurgafjhjasgr Next topic: people who dont read good "Whats it mean beware of Doug?" (Doug being the pet tarrasque) Topic: Death star
Hellsbells 10-13-07, 09:43 PM	This will be easy its already dead. No I think he said it was called the death star not the dead star. O.... So thats were all the blasters came from. Next topic: highly explosive pumpkins.... and a guy who just one the lottery
camthalion 10-14-07, 12:35 AM	This will be easy its already dead. No I think he said it was called the death star not the dead star. O.... So thats were all the blasters came from. Next topic: highly explosive pumpkins.... and a guy who just one the lottery Guy who just one the lottery: "Here watch me juggle these. No, seriously. I'm the luckiest man alive." Topic: Hellsbells for coming up with that one.
EvilVegan 10-14-07, 08:27 AM	'So asmodeus told us to come here to this church in hell and pull this rope in the belltower? Well I don't see any reason not to trust him. . .' GONG! (get it? Hells bells?) Topic: Mathematics
DonThelonious 10-14-07, 08:53 AM	Mathematics- "Your lives aren't worth squat. 100 dumplings? Thats like what..." *does math on fingers* "5 dumplings each? One man against nine others. :cookie: to the one who gets it... Next Topic: Whips
EvilVegan 10-14-07, 09:28 AM	Mathematics- "Your lives aren't worth squat. 100 dumplings? Thats like what..." *does math on fingers* "5 dumplings each? One man against nine others. :cookie: to the one who gets it... Next Topic: Whips"I bet I can beat Mugen and Jin with my whips." GIVE ME MY COOKIE! Topic: MY COOKIE!
ff6shadow 10-14-07, 09:38 AM	Poisoned cookies? Not even the evilest of fiends who do such a thing? Topic: Who would poison a cookie?
Hellsbells 10-14-07, 10:17 AM	A very evil and vindicative baker. Nest topic: The girl who WONT STOP TALKING!
Dougan Axehammer 10-14-07, 04:45 PM	"...." (She'll talk till your ears bleed.) Topic: One-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater
navar100 10-14-07, 07:35 PM	"I'll tell him where to stick it." Topic: Pixie
DonThelonious 10-14-07, 08:08 PM	"I bet I can beat Mugen and Jin with my whips." GIVE ME MY COOKIE! Topic: MY COOKIE! :cookie: Here is your cookie. Pixie: "What did he mean by 'Dance my life away'..." Next Topic: Chuck Norris
navar100 10-14-07, 08:49 PM	"Bruce Lee" Topic: Elmo
Hellsbells 10-14-07, 09:29 PM	So we were hired to bump off to guys named elmo and grover? Yup. So wats their description. Small and furry. Wait what furry? Yah. I hate wereChildrensTVCharacters. Next topic: Don't fear the reaper
Crimsondagger 10-15-07, 12:37 AM	Dude we just Melvin'd the reaper. If you get this you have seen a very wierd film Hippies
Dougan Axehammer 10-15-07, 12:59 AM	"Goooooooooood Morning VietNAM!!!" Topic: Robin Williams
navar100 10-15-07, 04:03 AM	"Nanoo Nanoo" Topic: Harry Potter
DonThelonious 10-15-07, 09:45 AM	Harry Potter: "The little twit doesn't even know what he is doi...." "..." "Bollucks..." Next Topic: Transformers: Beast Wars
EvilVegan 10-15-07, 10:12 AM	'How does a warforged druid even make sense?' Topic: The number 23.
Zhalgar 10-15-07, 06:21 PM	"Yeah, so what... a Dragon is still a living creature... a natural 20 can kill anything" --------------------------------------------------------------------- "I love when pitiful humans come saying a natural 20 can kill me..." *munch munch*
Zhalgar 10-15-07, 06:37 PM	"Finally head-to-5-heads against Tiamat... I still have a chance, nothing a True Resrruection can't fix" ======================================== =============== "Mourn like those undeads, you'll misguide them" ======================================== =============== -"We've been spoted!" -"Then steal something! This is a thieves' guild so stealing something will make us one of them!" ======================================== =============== "Hah! I'm covered with water! Your fireballs will never hurt me.... and neither those sparks sprouting from your fingers!" ======================================== =============== "Druids are mighty foes in the wild... I bet they can't survive a fight in a tavern" ======================================== =============== "My Paladin 5/Ranger 2/Sorcerer 3/Cleric 1/Rogue 4/Monk 4 can match his Lvl 19 Barbarian"
DonThelonious 10-15-07, 08:55 PM	The number 23: " Oh yeah, what are you gonna do Toppsi Kretts? Next Topic: Werewolf Pirates
Hellsbells 10-15-07, 09:00 PM	O look a puppy. Um bob thats not a puppy. O look and hes all dressed up like a pirate, is it holloween already? No bob, I'm pretty sure thats not a puppy. Nest topic: The impossibly hard latin test I need to take tommorrow.
DonThelonious 10-15-07, 10:15 PM	O look a puppy. Um bob thats not a puppy. O look and hes all dressed up like a pirate, is it holloween already? No bob, I'm pretty sure thats not a puppy. Good one The impossibly hard latin test I need to take tommorrow: "Latin? Who needs latin? What did Rome ever do for the world?" Next Topic: Halfling Women
Makuya 10-15-07, 10:53 PM	Good one The impossibly hard latin test I need to take tommorrow: "Latin? Who needs latin? What did Rome ever do for the world?" Next Topic: Halfling Women "You're too short for my loving, dear. I'm looking for something bigge-GAK!" Next: Barbarian in a gimp suit
DonThelonious 10-15-07, 11:20 PM	Next: Barbarian in a gimp suit :eek: :rofl: I leave a quote to someone else...
camthalion 10-16-07, 12:21 PM	"You're too short for my loving, dear. I'm looking for something bigge-GAK!" Next: Barbarian in a gimp suit "Kinky. Does your boyfriend MAKE you wear that?" Next Topic: Wives who don't roleplay.
Dougan Axehammer 10-16-07, 03:44 PM	"...well, I knocked up a bar wench..." Topic: Your kids
trappedslider 10-16-07, 06:08 PM	"...well, I knocked up a bar wench..." Topic: Your kids "Son,why did you think it would be a good idea to eat my war-mage" Topic: Kobolb + c4
DonThelonious 10-16-07, 06:24 PM	Kobold+C4: "Aww look! The little lizard man gave me this cute little clay statue. And if I press this little button the eyes ligh...:headexplo " Next Topic: Jack-O-Lanterns
Hellsbells 10-16-07, 07:43 PM	Made out of those exploding pumpkins from earlier Next topic: snakes
trappedslider 10-16-07, 11:52 PM	Made out of those exploding pumpkins from earlier Next topic: snakes "I'm sick of these damn snakes on this damn airship" Next topic: Yo momma
navar100 10-17-07, 03:08 AM	"Hah! He thinks I play the cello." Topic: a slug
dySWN 10-17-07, 06:17 AM	"Tell my wife... she was the worst lay I ever had..." Next topic - succubus
camthalion 10-17-07, 08:38 AM	"Tell my wife... she was the worst lay I ever had..." Next topic - succubus "What's a nice girl like you doing in a dungeon like ... AACK!" Next Topic: Troll ... the Internet kind
Makuya 10-17-07, 09:59 AM	"What's a nice girl like you doing in a dungeon like ... AACK!" Next Topic: Troll ... the Internet kind I CAN'T TAKE THESE INSULTS ANYMORE! *crossbow to own head* topic: 8-th level neraph hexblade
peril 10-17-07, 10:50 AM	right iv got an idea you open the door and ill look in the room :D im not going to fall off this ledge aaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh:rolleyes:
camthalion 10-17-07, 11:37 AM	right iv got an idea you open the door and ill look in the room :D im not going to fall off this ledge aaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh:rolleyes: No topic so .... NEXT: Emo bloggers
Hellsbells 10-17-07, 04:07 PM	dear diary, I cut myself today.... for the five hundreth time. (Wonder if Highoctane will get wind of this.) Next topic: a really hyper guy with narcolepsy
Runningyellowstream 10-17-07, 06:31 PM	"Oh my god a vampire, we can do this guys i don't know if you all are tired from all those skeletons and zombies but me im ready to go i keep runnin' all da..." Topic: Master of unseen hand PrC
trappedslider 10-17-07, 08:18 PM	"Oh my god a vampire, we can do this guys i don't know if you all are tired from all those skeletons and zombies but me im ready to go i keep runnin' all da..." Topic: Master of unseen hand PrC "So this guys like I'm a master of the unseen hand." "uh-huh" "Were the crap did this hand around my neck appear from." next topic : Spam
Hellsbells 10-17-07, 08:20 PM	spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spa- urgfghgthjkp Next topic: More Spam!
DonThelonious 10-17-07, 09:51 PM	More Spam: "How could this innocent offer, to help me maintain my swords hardness so all the sheaths can be happy, possibly be dangerous?" Next Topic: Captain Caveman
PallysFTWBaby 10-17-07, 10:21 PM	"How is a savage armed with spears and rocks supposed to take us on... oh crap my laser power generator just died." Next topic: kender
LostPassWordDoesNotWork 10-17-07, 11:03 PM	"Look, a pile of gold with a lizard!" *swipe* Next topic: A lost password.
Dougan Axehammer 10-17-07, 11:09 PM	"Okay the password is... uh... umm..... the password... is... uh... no, I know this... wait what are you doing?!? I know this, just give me a s--" Topic: Tornado
DonThelonious 10-17-07, 11:17 PM	Tornado: "Iiiiiiiiiiii'm flyyyyyyiiiiiiinnnnnnnnng!!!!" *thud* Next Topic: Mystery Meat Monday
Dougan Axehammer 10-17-07, 11:20 PM	"Hey, this isn't half ba-" Topic: Ex-wife
DonThelonious 10-17-07, 11:33 PM	Ex-Wife: "Oh no!! You hear that? She's coming for my soul!!!! Its... its... B*TCHZILLA!!!!!!!" Next Topic: Animated Objects
Rei_Carter 10-17-07, 11:37 PM	"Hey, Mialee, wanna "Animate" my "Object"?" :P Sorry, couldn't resist. Next Topic: Rogues
camthalion 10-18-07, 12:17 AM	"Hey, Mialee, wanna "Animate" my "Object"?" :P Sorry, couldn't resist. Next Topic: Rogues Barely Literate Barbarian: "Hey, the note says we should beware of a dangerous rouge. How can makeup be dang ..." THUD Topic: Races Cut from 4e PHB
Hellsbells 10-18-07, 07:22 AM	Dwarf: SO your sure we aren't gonna get cut outa fourth addition? Kender: O yah I'm possitive. Theirs no way they cou- *pop* Dwarf: O MY GOD! Not shorty! Next topic: got shorty?
The_Rouge 10-18-07, 09:07 AM	Who You Calling Short?! I might just reach up and thump you on the knee! it was bad...sorry Topic: Kobolds in 4e
DonThelonious 10-18-07, 11:16 PM	Kobolds in 4E: "Kobolds For Core! Kobolds For Core! Kobolds For Core! WHO'S WITH ME! " Next Topic: Swamp Gas
Dougan Axehammer 10-19-07, 12:00 AM	"Okay, who farted?" Topic: The common cold
trappedslider 10-19-07, 12:11 AM	"Okay, who farted?" Topic: The common cold "Whats so common about.....hey,how come everyone's coughing ad sneezing...?" Topic:Honey Baked Ham
camthalion 10-19-07, 12:11 AM	"Okay, who farted?" Topic: The common cold "Okay ... now, we've wrapped the loot in blankets so it doesn't clink. We've taken off our chain mail armour and wrapped blankets around our boots. We've all maxed out or move silently ranks. The fighter is wearing my boots of elvinkind ... We should be able to sneak past those twelve orcs in the side chamber, get back to town and heal those wounds. Let's go ... " ... sneak ... ... sneak ... ... sneak ... ... sneak ... ... "ACHOOOOOOO!!!!" ... ... "DAMN!!" ... ... sneak ... Topic: Worst player ever
DonThelonious 10-19-07, 12:29 AM	Worst Player Ever: "I'm so fr3k1ng 1337. This is my first game but I pwn u noobs..." Next Topic: Dragon Poo...
Dougan Axehammer 10-19-07, 12:49 AM	"What the hell is this crap doing inside this large cavern?!?" Topic:Honey Baked Ham
DonThelonious 10-19-07, 01:21 AM	Honey Baked Ham: "For a truely special dinner we have honey baked ham, some nice orc chops, and a healthy side of..." SNEAK ATTACK!!!!! Next Topic: Who Farted
Dougan Axehammer 10-19-07, 01:36 AM	"Oh my gawd, was that the dragon!!!" Topic: The in-laws
mathew99 10-19-07, 01:37 AM	who farted: "Can someone pull out the air freshener, or atleast cast control weather and stir up some wind?" George, the polymorphed Chameleon prc infiltrating a tribe of orcs. topic: Superman
Dougan Axehammer 10-19-07, 01:39 AM	"Damn! Where's that kryptonite?" Topic: In-laws
DonThelonious 10-19-07, 02:47 AM	In-Laws: "By the GODS!! They are coming!!! Hell incarnate is coming to my house!!!!" Next Topic: Gazebos
ff6shadow 10-19-07, 04:24 AM	Everybody knows gazebos aren't dangerous. Now lets go. Topic War Mages
ThirdProphecy 10-19-07, 04:51 AM	"So you think about thirty of us would do the trick?" next topic: herpes
camthalion 10-19-07, 09:16 AM	"So you think about thirty of us would do the trick?" next topic: herpes "Harpies? What are you talking about. She's no harpy. Now, watch my stuff. I'll be done with her and then were off to the dungeon ..." Next topic: Drizzt Do'Urden
DonThelonious 10-19-07, 11:33 AM	Drizzt Do'Urden: "So, another cheap clone. What are you gonna do you cheap knock-off? You couldn't possibly be the real..." *Snick/Slice* Next Topic: Flying Monkeys
camthalion 10-19-07, 12:15 PM	Drizzt Do'Urden: "So, another cheap clone. What are you gonna do you cheap knock-off? You couldn't possibly be the real..." *Snick/Slice* Next Topic: Flying Monkeys "Yeah, right. That old guy's a wizard when monkeys fly out of my ... OUCH!!!! HOLY **** THAT ****ING HURTS!!!" Next Topic: Female gamers
trappedslider 10-19-07, 03:06 PM	"Yeah, right. That old guy's a wizard when monkeys fly out of my ... OUCH!!!! HOLY **** THAT ****ING HURTS!!!" Next Topic: Female gamers Guy pc: "What do oyu mean my guy suddenly dies..." FemaLE GM : "Its just what i said..no save no thing..." Guy: Does this have to deal with the fact that I said we should see other people?" GM : ..... Next topic: Jawa JEdi
zero_cool 10-19-07, 03:39 PM	from oldest topic: WANTED POSTER: Big, ugly, and purple. It has a powerful charming enchantment spell against human children. Please, slay him and return his head as proof. Do it for our children!!!! signed by: parent's school comitte Topic: Adventurers falling
camthalion 10-19-07, 04:28 PM	from oldest topic: WANTED POSTER: Big, ugly, and purple. It has a powerful charming enchantment spell against human children. Please, slay him and return his head as proof. Do it for our children!!!! signed by: parent's school comitte Topic: Adventurers falling ... ... ... Hannoying the BARD: "I am falling down, Try and stop me, It feels so good to hit the ground, You can watch me, Fall right on my face, It's an uphill human race, and I am falling down I'm standing out in the street, The earth is moving, I feel it under my feet, And I'm still proveing, That I can stand my ground, And my feet are there, haven't washed my hair ..." Retep the Warrior: "Someone please shut that bard up ..." ... ... ... Retep the Warrior: "How deep is this bloody pit any..." SPLAT! Topic: Old gamers who don't know what an Eladrin is.
The_Rouge 10-19-07, 05:32 PM	I told you to bring the 3.5 MM! topic: Blackguards and paladins
DonThelonious 10-19-07, 09:08 PM	Blackguards and Paladins: "Black God, White God! It doesn't matter! They both kill us poor kobolds..." Next Topic: Illithid love
Hellsbells 10-19-07, 09:28 PM	Wanna make love baby? Umm dude, we dont reproduce that way.... Next topic: Necromancy
Avernyia 10-19-07, 11:11 PM	Worst thing to hear from your friend before you die. "oops."
Runningyellowstream 10-19-07, 11:16 PM	Wanna make love baby? Umm dude, we dont reproduce that way.... Next topic: Necromancy "Common guys all there is are the corpses of our enemies and that guy in robes!" Next Topic: Druids
Makuya 10-19-07, 11:58 PM	"Common guys all there is are the corpses of our enemies and that guy in robes!" Next Topic: Druids "Bah! They probably won't care if I do this!" *uses fireball on the trees* Topic: Player owes DM some money.
Hellsbells 10-20-07, 12:39 AM	DM: The ogre chops your head off. PC: No he doesnt. DM: Umm yah he does. PC: Remember that 20 bucks? Next topic: Neurotoxins
mathew99 10-20-07, 03:02 AM	neurotoxins: DM- "A bee stings you." PC- "It's ok it was just a bee" PC#2(paladin)- "You sure you don't want me to cast remove disease on it?" PC- "Dude it was just a tiny bee." PC watches the bee fly off growing back to its original size. next topic: new group members
Genevieve_Evernight 10-20-07, 03:51 AM	neurotoxins: DM- "A bee stings you." PC- "It's ok it was just a bee" PC#2(paladin)- "You sure you don't want me to cast remove disease on it?" PC- "Dude it was just a tiny bee." PC watches the bee fly off growing back to its original size. next topic: new group members "Dude, who cares if he wants to play a chaotic evil cleric? It's his character." Next: exes that won't go away
ThirdProphecy 10-20-07, 09:27 AM	"Oh hey... what are you doing here? ... ahem... meet Sarah, she was just leaving" Topic: Master Chief
camthalion 10-20-07, 12:09 PM	"Oh hey... what are you doing here? ... ahem... meet Sarah, she was just leaving" Topic: Master Chief "Master Chef? What the heck do we need with a master chef?" ... Topic: People who think D&D is satanic.
mathew99 10-20-07, 01:58 PM	"Oh hey... what are you doing here? ... ahem... meet Sarah, she was just leaving" Topic: Master Chief "Look at this guysdorky outfit, must be wearing a half-plate of looserness." Topic: People who think D&D is satanic.
Dougan Axehammer 10-21-07, 03:53 AM	"Dude, it's just a game. Geez." Topic: George Dubya Bush
Genevieve_Evernight 10-21-07, 04:00 AM	"Dude, it's just a game. Geez." Topic: George Dubya Bush "Now I'm tellin' you...that invadin' right now is our best strategery." Topic: Dick Cheney
Frostraven 10-21-07, 06:28 AM	"Don't worry, the rifle isn't loaded" Topic: Iraq
Hellsbells 10-21-07, 11:46 AM	I believe that the people of the south africas and the Iraqs countries and the asia should help with the africas and the iraqs... Next topic: Why the flumph is returning
Dougan Axehammer 10-21-07, 10:45 PM	"Flumph happens" Topic: Diapers
Genevieve_Evernight 10-22-07, 01:43 AM	"It's just one little diaper. How much trouble could changing a two year ol-OH MY GOD IT'S...IT'S....EVERYWHERE..." Topic: feral cat
Hellsbells 10-22-07, 06:46 AM	"Of course I know what I'm doing. I'm the druid remember.
Makuya 10-22-07, 08:53 AM	"Of course I know what I'm doing. I'm the druid remember. since he forgot.... Topic: Efreet
DonThelonious 10-24-07, 04:57 AM	Efreet: "So your the genie from this lamp? Okay then, I wish to be immortal!" *Turned into a statue Next Topic: Zombie Apocalypse
Hellsbells 10-24-07, 07:28 AM	I get the zombies but.... WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CRABS! Next topic: goblins!
Andron 10-24-07, 10:46 AM	It was the blue guy.....*GASP GURGLE*
Makuya 10-24-07, 12:16 PM	Since the fellow forgot: Topic: Player wants to remake his character due to a bad racial choice, and he also paid for the pizza but never ate any. (Difficult, yes, but this was due to pseudo-insanity that I came up with this)
The_Rouge 10-24-07, 03:19 PM	What do you mean that i cant change race? Shall i make you throw up my share of the pizza that i paid for? topic: Pun-Pun
camthalion 10-24-07, 03:43 PM	What do you mean that i cant change race? Shall i make you throw up my share of the pizza that i paid for? topic: Pun-Pun "Pun-Pun? That's just the 4e version of Meepo, right? Let's just charge him head on!" Topic: fantasy stereotypes
Hellsbells 10-24-07, 07:43 PM	YAY MEEPO! He is the true legendary kobold. (( That was not an anwser ))
jdhartucus 10-24-07, 11:06 PM	"God? Why would I need to believe in God?"
Dullahan_X 10-25-07, 12:26 AM	Fantasy Stereotypes: Oh look, a Dwarven Fighter who loves ale, axes, rocks, and his beard. I suppose you have problems with elves and hate orcs too? You're so predictable... lemme guess, you're going to try and get a critical hit on me just like Gim- *gets hit in crotch with two-handed axe power attack* Topic: Centaurs
DonThelonious 10-25-07, 02:34 AM	Centaurs: "So let me get this straight: Your Mom did WHAT with a horse?" Next Topic: Heavy Metal
Dougan Axehammer 10-25-07, 04:00 AM	"He probably just has an axe to grind." Topic: Contractors
Runningyellowstream 10-25-07, 04:46 PM	Topic: Contractors "Listen here buddy I PAID YOU to do a job, IF YOU DON'T FINISH MY TOWER I'LL BLAST YOU TO PIECES!" Bang! "Y-you are a mage and a contractor!!" :eek: Next Topic: Untied Shoes :confused:
Dougan Axehammer 10-25-07, 06:08 PM	While running across a very, very, very narrow bridge across a bottomless chasm: "Whoops." Topic: Dirty dishes
Runningyellowstream 10-25-07, 06:32 PM	Topic: Dirty Dishes: Thanks for reminding me of the first 8 hours of my day :weep: Master to Apprentice "Why aren't the dishes done?? IT TAKES ONE CANTRIP" :mage: :ghosted: Next Topic: Ghosts
Dougan Axehammer 10-25-07, 07:01 PM	Topic: Dirty Dishes: Thanks for reminding me of the first 8 hours of my day :weep: Sorry Next Topic: Ghosts "Holy Cripes! Ye scared me ta death." :D Topic: Laundry
Galeigh 10-25-07, 11:28 PM	"Lets wash our clothes in the river..... Nah, chain mail wont weigh us down" (sorry, but its LAUNDRY, thats the best I could do TT-TT ) Topic: Eating utensils.
Chardre 10-26-07, 12:44 AM	"Lets wash our clothes in the river..... Nah, chain mail wont weigh us down" (sorry, but its LAUNDRY, thats the best I could do TT-TT ) Topic: Eating utensils. "A little rust never harmed anybody." Topic: Gnomes.
Sinfire Titan 10-26-07, 12:57 AM	"A little rust never harmed anybody." Topic: Gnomes. "Here shorty shorty shorty..." *Shank* Topic: Lolth.
DonThelonious 10-26-07, 03:10 AM	Lolth: "EEWWWWW!!!! A spider! Squish it!!!" Next Topic: Dwarven Women
camthalion 10-26-07, 07:56 AM	Lolth: "EEWWWWW!!!! A spider! Squish it!!!" Next Topic: Dwarven Women "Pardon me kind sir, but could you direct me to the nearest tavern?" Topic: bureaucrats
trappedslider 10-26-07, 10:34 AM	Topic: bureaucrats "Whats with all this paperwork?" Topic: Caltrops...
Dougan Axehammer 10-26-07, 09:11 PM	"Whats with all this paperwork?" Topic: Caltrops... "I was walking through the park one day... in the very, very month of May... when they took by surprise... right into my thighs... and now I've gone and passed away" Topic: Sheep
Sinfire Titan 10-26-07, 10:08 PM	"I was walking through the park one day... in the very, very month of May... when they took by surprise... right into my thighs... and now I've gone and passed away" Topic: Sheep 20th level Fighter after a Baneful Polymorph: "Where the hell are they taking me?" The sign reads: Cotton Factory. Topic: Shanking
DonThelonious 10-27-07, 01:00 AM	Shanking: "Hey guys, this is my first time here and I was able to smuggle in this gold..." 1st level rogue in jail. Next Topic: Gargamel (from Smurfs)
Dougan Axehammer 10-27-07, 02:19 AM	Shanking: "Hey guys, this is my first time here and I was able to smuggle in this gold..." 1st level rogue in jail. Next Topic: Gargamel (from Smurfs) "I'll get you, if it's the last thing I do!" Topic: Breathing
DonThelonious 10-27-07, 06:50 PM	Breathing: "Is someone bleaching their clothes? I swear I smell chlorine..." Next Topic: Dire Chickens
Dougan Axehammer 10-28-07, 02:19 AM	Breathing: "Is someone bleaching their clothes? I swear I smell chlorine..." Next Topic: Dire Chickens While strutting around, flapping arms: "Braaawwkk, bawk, bawk, braaawwk, bawk, bawk..." Topic: One red apple
Hellsbells 10-28-07, 07:25 AM	Old crone: Take it deary its not like its poisoness or something.:rolleyes: Next topic: (go go) godzilla
Makuya 10-28-07, 08:26 AM	You hear that stomping? *gets atomic-breath'd* Next: Time Travel
camthalion 10-28-07, 08:58 AM	You hear that stomping? *gets atomic-breath'd* Next: Time Travel Prof: "Now remember everyone, while in our own past, don't touch anything! ... hmmm... Where did Kannon Fodder go?" ... Much later ... Kannon: "Hey guys, I met the coolest girl today, beat up her geeky boyfriend, and took her down to the beach. ... She looked a bit like a hot version of my mom which freaked me out a bit but ...." Topic: Character cliches
Fly666monkey 10-28-07, 07:05 PM	Prof: "Now remember everyone, while in our own past, don't touch anything! ... hmmm... Where did Kannon Fodder go?" ... Much later ... Kannon: "Hey guys, I met the coolest girl today, beat up her geeky boyfriend, and took her down to the beach. ... She looked a bit like a hot version of my mom which freaked me out a bit but ...." Topic: Character cliches "Clerics of Pelor are peacful people! You can taunt them all day and they won't lay a hand on you, watch!" Kicks cleric in the shin... Scant Seconds later: "HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Next topic: Naked Teenage Vampire (don't ask)
camthalion 10-28-07, 08:46 PM	"Clerics of Pelor are peacful people! You can taunt them all day and they won't lay a hand on you, watch!" Kicks cleric in the shin... Scant Seconds later: "HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Next topic: Naked Teenage Vampire (don't ask) "Please. Pretty please!! ... ARGGH OUCH AHH DON'T BITE SHARP!! ... Oohhhh ... the pain ... subsiding ... Again, please?" Next topic: More naked teenage vampires.
ryuspearhead 10-28-07, 08:57 PM	"come howthoughcan abunch of horny undeadteens be" next: exploding kobolds
Tsochar 10-28-07, 10:36 PM	"It doesn't matter what that potion you drank does, we're all sitting on top of you, so don't try to esca-"BOOOOOOMMMMMM Next: Bards
Silverclaw 10-29-07, 04:22 PM	Don´t wory, he only have one of those little string instruments, there is no way he could be any danger at all... coming up next: cookies:cookie:
Dougan Axehammer 10-29-07, 06:21 PM	"Dof innyon haf inny miuk? Innyon? Peas?" Topic: Windows 3.0
Runningyellowstream 10-29-07, 08:42 PM	"Three seconds till self destruct" "Damn it load... Load.... C'MON LOAD!!!!" New Topic: Sewers
Hellsbells 10-29-07, 08:43 PM	So what was the point of this new windows upgrade? I dont know, It doesnt look like I can see out of it any better. ( get it? windows :rimshot: ) Next topic: Mr. Bubbles (a cookie if you make a pun relevant to the source)
Fly666monkey 10-30-07, 05:53 PM	"So i just drink this and add water? ok...... Hey it's kind foam--GURGLE WAGLE BURP BURP...." (P.S. I used to use that stuff as a kid. FUn bubble bath!) WOHOO MY FIRST COOKIE!!!! :cookie: <-------MINE. Next topic: Monkeys with explosives.
Makuya 10-30-07, 06:08 PM	"Awww... a cute monkey, with a candle too... wait, there's something off about that candle...." Next Topic: Probability Elemental
Fly666monkey 10-30-07, 06:47 PM	"ARRRGH!!! NO! MY TEACHER HAS COME BACK TO HAUNT ME!!!!!" *Wimper* "I never meant to tell the guards about the incident in the closet....." :mymy:
Hellsbells 10-30-07, 08:13 PM	"So i just drink this and add water? ok...... Hey it's kind foam--GURGLE WAGLE BURP BURP...." (P.S. I used to use that stuff as a kid. FUn bubble bath!) WOHOO MY FIRST COOKIE!!!! :cookie: <-------MINE. Next topic: Monkeys with explosives. Actually no, not what I was talking about but since you made it relevent keep the cookie, your's was better then anything little sisiters and big daddys could spawn. The source is Bioshock, god that game is freaky.
cinnamonator 10-30-07, 11:29 PM	"Awww... a cute monkey, with a candle too... wait, there's something off about that candle...." Next Topic: Probability Elemental What are the odds for spontaneous combustion again? Topic: Zombie Squirrels
mathew99 10-31-07, 12:03 AM	zombie squirrels: "Hey Tom you just ran over something , better go check it out." Topic: yugioh refrences
Dougan Axehammer 10-31-07, 04:12 PM	:eek: "I g-g-guess Th-three H-headed B-b-b-blue-eyed W-white D-d-dragons r-r-really do exist..." :gah: Topic: Gojira
Runningyellowstream 10-31-07, 05:27 PM	:eek: "I g-g-guess Th-three H-headed B-b-b-blue-eyed W-white D-d-dragons r-r-really do exist..." :gah: Topic: Gojira OMG! It's Godzilla! No! It's Gojira Who cares? It's huge breathing fire and beating the S*** out of Mothra! Next Topic: Mecha-Gojira
camthalion 10-31-07, 06:49 PM	OMG! It's Godzilla! No! It's Gojira Who cares? It's huge breathing fire and beating the S*** out of Mothra! Next Topic: Mecha-Gojira "... and I'm telling you that mechanical creatures have no place in a fantasy game. I'm not going to fight a giant robot by shooting fireballs at it. ... Okay yes, Gary Gygax might have but Tolkien would never ..." STOMP STOMP SPLAT Next topic: Trick or Treaters
DonThelonious 10-31-07, 07:36 PM	Trick or Treaters: "C'mon guys, Mr. Dahmer would never do anything to hurt anyone. He is a nice guy..." Happy Halloween!!!!! Next Topic: Black Cats
Runningyellowstream 10-31-07, 07:55 PM	Trick or Treaters: "C'mon guys, Mr. Dahmer would never do anything to hurt anyone. He is a nice guy..." Happy Halloween!!!!! Next Topic: Black Cats hey look a kitten im gonna pet it... (Never ever ever pet a wizards familiar... you never know what touch spells they're holding) Next topic: Trick or Treaters (I gotta say something here) Wizard looks up from his Grimoire with disdain "DAMN IT! Those kid's better stop lighting off those firecrackers or I'll show em' some REAL FIRECRACKERS :evillaugh Next Topic: Firecrackers :rolleyes:
Lord_Bahamut 10-31-07, 10:06 PM	Sign outside a magic shop: "Come buy a necklace of fireballs! Blow away your friends with the ultimate firecrackers! Hurry, get yours before they're all gone!" Next topic: baleful polymorph
DonThelonious 10-31-07, 11:42 PM	Baleful Polymorph: "Come now wizard, test thy mettle against my bla... Ugh" "..." "Baaaa, baa ba!" Next Topic: Nymphs
Makuya 11-01-07, 12:52 AM	"Blinding beauty? What rubbish." (he soon got blinded by the nymph, then he was mauled by beasts) Next topic: DM hates anime
Dougan Axehammer 11-01-07, 01:29 AM	"Naruto is an alchemist who wears full plate, and is a master martial artist, but he can't put his helmet on due to his terminally spikey hair. He carries with him a deck of cards and a sword that appears to big for him. Following him, hops a small rabbit-like cat named Teramon." Topic: DM loves anime
mathew99 11-01-07, 08:43 PM	"Ok so I'm a fighter who uses a small dagger, has completely flat hair normal armor, fights based on the laws of physics and I have a good catch phrase." A :cookie: for whoever can name atleast 3 bad anime catch phrases. next topic: dentists
Hellsbells 11-01-07, 08:49 PM	See I'm a feild dentist, its simmilar to a feild medic except I work for the other team. Next topic: You got blood on my suit.
mathew99 11-02-07, 12:46 AM	topic: you got blood on my suit "whoops." next topic: your mom jokes
camthalion 11-02-07, 09:33 AM	topic: you got blood on my suit "whoops." <--- OR "Whoops. I'm soooo sorrrry. But seriously Mr. Wizard, nobody wears white 'pimp' suits anymore!! next topic: your mom jokes (Said by halfling 'Taunter' PrC to Fire Giant) "You mother's so fat, she ..." SPLATTT next topic: Uptight Clerics
DonThelonious 11-02-07, 09:52 AM	Uptight Clerics: "So is that stick up your arse standard issue like the paladins?" Next Topic: Pirates
Hellsbells 11-02-07, 09:57 AM	hey look its blackbeard no dahm it, im not blackbeard! just because I'm a pirate who happens to have a black beard does not make me blackbeard! O i get it, he doesnt want the cops to get him. Ok not blackbeard;) no, dahm it, im not- ugh. Off with yah heads scurvy dogs! Next topic: dinosuars
Fly666monkey 11-02-07, 11:23 AM	"Oooh, look! That will make some nice leather armor! Let's get some!" Next topic: Bipolar DM
Dougan Axehammer 11-02-07, 02:54 PM	A :cookie: for whoever can name atleast 3 bad anime catch phrases. - "[Creature's name] I choose you." - "Ka........me........................ha.. ..............me......................HA !!" - "The heart of the cards" Next topic: Bipolar DM "Look's like this is going to be one of those love-hate relationships" Topic: Chickens (the standard variety, not the dire ones from before)
Hellsbells 11-02-07, 02:58 PM	Hey im hungry... look a chicken, lets cook it. (said by a barbarian talking about the local wizard's familiar, which for the record was a raven.) Next topic: doing good deeds
Makuya 11-02-07, 07:10 PM	DM: "Turns out the mage you helped out earlier was a lich, who needed that magic item to become even more powerful; he destroys you before you can fix it." Topic: Half-Fiend Moogles
Fly666monkey 11-02-07, 07:22 PM	"I'm gonna play with that pom-pom on his head!" Next topic:Nerull's Teenage Daughter
Odie_Juan 11-03-07, 01:41 AM	"I'm dying to meet your Dad..." Next: Elric of Melnibone
Oromis_Shurtugal 11-03-07, 12:39 PM	"I'm dying to meet your Dad..." Next: Elric of Melnibone :confused: WTF?:confused: Who? :confused: Well, a different topic for me: magical animals ;) : HOLEY MOLEY! :lightbulb :) :P ;) :angel: Well, for next poster: epic Druid/warshaper
ShaneWindby 11-03-07, 09:03 PM	"I'm dying to meet your Dad..." Next: Elric of Melnibone Hey, why is my sword attacking me ? Next: Red Dragon
Hellsbells 11-03-07, 11:01 PM	why would anyone bother to paint a pterydactyl red? Next topic: world series champions* *(woots, yay, and happyness)
DonThelonious 11-03-07, 11:48 PM	World Series Champions: "Eh? What that? I don't like golf..." Next Topic: Babies
Hellsbells 11-03-07, 11:56 PM	O isnt he cute? (said about a baby asmodeus) Next topic: soviet russia
Runningyellowstream 11-04-07, 12:01 AM	O isnt he cute? (said about a baby asmodeus) Next topic: soviet russia I HATE VODKA, AND I LOVE CAPITALISM, AND AMERICA! :evillaugh (I don't really love America but I don't hate it, I do hate capitalism, communism for life!) Next Topic: Cloakers
Hellsbells 11-04-07, 12:07 AM	u left out vodkah. Also for the record I dont really have an opinion on russia's government in any form but the country side/ environment is BEUTIFUL if a bit cold.
Xart 11-04-07, 12:10 AM	Don't worry guys I can kick his (death)
Runningyellowstream 11-04-07, 12:14 AM	u left out vodkah. Also for the record I dont really have an opinion on russia's government in any form but the country side/ environment is BEUTIFUL if a bit cold. Ah... I do hate vodka (nasty drink distilled from potatoes), the communism ideal that Russia had originally is my ideal government personally but they sorta drifted and became a dictatorial communism, power corrupts, the country is beautiful northern areas sorta remind me of home (I don't mind the cold I walk around in a T-Shirt and jeans at -15 C), sorry if I unintentionally offended. (I was using the traditional stereotype of the U.S.S.R. a bunch of drunks who love vodka and hate the "American capitalist pig-dogs")
DonThelonious 11-04-07, 12:55 AM	For government types I would love to see a perfect anarchy developed, but that could never happen. -- I do not want to see this thread get the axe from the WizOs. Back on topic... Cloakers: "OH. MY. GODS!!!! Who in the wooorld would leave such and Ah-dorable cloak way down here?!?!" *Said by a bard with a serious lisp* Next Topic: magic mushrooms:cool:
GruunTheLegend 11-04-07, 01:11 AM	1) duck? 2) damn your fat 3) yeah the password is.............
DonThelonious 11-04-07, 04:01 AM	1) duck? 2) damn your fat 3) yeah the password is............. You didn't read the posting guide for this thread did you?:P
Oromis_Shurtugal 11-04-07, 06:45 AM	For government types I would love to see a perfect anarchy developed, but that could never happen. -- I do not want to see this thread get the axe from the WizOs. Back on topic... Cloakers: "OH. MY. GODS!!!! Who in the wooorld would leave such and Ah-dorable cloak way down here?!?!" *Said by a bard with a serious lisp* Next Topic: magic mushrooms:cool: DIG IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK, Next one: Half-celestial Aasimar Pally:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:
empty 11-04-07, 06:51 AM	Half-celestial Aasimar Pally:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: (Talking to mister Half-celestial Aasimar Pally): Couldnt you just for once turn a blind eye to me stabbing someone in the back? Next topic: DM-made monsters
Makuya 11-04-07, 08:14 AM	(Talking to mister Half-celestial Aasimar Pally): Couldnt you just for once turn a blind eye to me stabbing someone in the back? Next topic: DM-made monsters "I don't know what it is, but I'M CHARGING!" Topic: The Sublime Way
skio 11-04-07, 09:01 AM	Come on... he's just a fighter... topic: tarrasque
ShaneWindby 11-04-07, 01:42 PM	topic: tarrasque Upone entering a cave: Look it is asleep. topic: Fairy Dragon
Fly666monkey 11-04-07, 03:52 PM	"It's a butterfly with scales, what's it gonna do to us?" Next topic: CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
camthalion 11-04-07, 04:14 PM	"It's a butterfly with scales, what's it gonna do to us?" Next topic: CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kannon Fodder: "Well, I've searched the cave top to bottom. No more orcs. We've got 670 gp, 59 sp, 1355 cp, these furs, and some smelly old cheese." Taiyttass the Cleric: "I'm out of healing spells. Perhaps, we should post a guard and sleep in the cave. Let's cook those rats and eat the cheese." Next topic: Reality TV
Fly666monkey 11-04-07, 04:21 PM	"What do you mean 'voted off'? And what's with the stick?....." Next topic: The gods as babies.
DonThelonious 11-04-07, 11:02 PM	The gods as babies: "NO! We do NOT tear at the seams of reality! Thats BAD, thats a NONO! Do you want a spanking?" Next Topic: The Gods during puberty...
Dex 11-04-07, 11:26 PM	"That's it, young [man/woman/eldritch horror], one more of those and you're GROUNDED!" Next topic: Spelljammers
mathew99 11-04-07, 11:28 PM	God's mortal friend: "Just because you can turn invisible and walk through walls, doesn't mean you should." next topic: old folks home, for wizards
camthalion 11-04-07, 11:39 PM	God's mortal friend: "Just because you can turn invisible and walk through walls, doesn't mean you should." next topic: old folks home, for wizards Droces the Senile: "Why are you talking to that wall?" Yeslek the Blind and Deaf: "Walk through the wall? Let me see, I know that one ...". Droces the Senile: "Lob a fireball? What? Why? Where? Okay, here goes!" Next topic: More adventurers in old folks homes
Hellsbells 11-05-07, 07:03 AM	Droces the senile: wanna see me teleport? Yeslek the blind and deaf: What was that, were are you? *BANG* Yeslek the senile: hey wered yah go?
DonThelonious 11-05-07, 07:28 AM	Well no topic so I guess I get to pick one. Iron Golems: "Whats a rusted out old suit of armor gonna do? Come to life and kill me?" Next Topic: Naked Bards (:cookie: For whomever gets the referance!!)
Makuya 11-05-07, 08:12 AM	Well no topic so I guess I get to pick one. Iron Golems: "Whats a rusted out old suit of armor gonna do? Come to life and kill me?" Next Topic: Naked Bards (:cookie: For whomever gets the referance!!) "OH MY GODS, I CAN'T UNSEE IT!" *runs off a cliff* Topic: Tiefling Hexblade
ff6shadow 11-05-07, 12:40 PM	"Hey, that demon looking guy is waving his hand at us funny. I think this is our lucky day." - Ed, random bandit, last words. Topic: Half Ogres with Spiked Chains. DonThelonious, is the reference to Order of the Stick?
Heroic_Ezekial 11-05-07, 01:18 PM	"How's my hair look?"
DonThelonious 11-05-07, 01:38 PM	:cookie: Goes to ff6shadow for the correct answer:) OoTS rocks, Elan is my favorite bard ever:D. Again no topic, so I will go with the previous suggestion. Half Ogres with Spiked Chains: "Hey you! YEAH THE BIG UGLY GUY! Can you see me now?" Last word of Robert Bard of the Full Moon, who was 10 ft. away from his foe. Next Topic: Vampire Pirates
skio 11-05-07, 02:27 PM	What do you mean 'you don't want our treasure?' topic: ninjas
Fly666monkey 11-05-07, 04:23 PM	What do you mean 'you don't want our treasure?' topic: ninjas "You look like Naruto. I swear!" Next topic: Vampire noobs
trappedslider 11-05-07, 05:27 PM	"You look like Naruto. I swear!" Next topic: Vampire noobs "Bite me....." Stay Puff Marshmellow Man
Makuya 11-05-07, 05:36 PM	Player: You are obsessed with Ghostbusters, Sam. (That's the DM's name) Topic: Pseudonatural red dragon
Hellsbells 11-05-07, 07:44 PM	ZUUL! Next topic: haunted friges
Rania 11-05-07, 08:34 PM	Bard: NO, GRASS!! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!!!! Fighter: along with swords, fire, lightning, blunt weapons Mage: a breeze of wind, someone shouting too loudly... (props to the one who says where this comes from) Next topic:musicUm, could somebody say where it's from now? I'm pretty sure that I know it, just not sure.... Is it a webcomic?
Rania 11-05-07, 08:37 PM	ZUUL! Next topic: haunted fridges"Meh, there's nothing in there worse than an old sandwich." Next topic: moron librarians who can't find stuff you desperately need (it's real, unfortunately; the only peeps on duty at the university library when I'm around don't know heck)
DonThelonious 11-05-07, 11:29 PM	Moron librarians who can't find stuff you desperately need: "Yeah, I can find that... I think. Um, it should ahhh.... um.... I think it might have been umm, eh.... I s it over there?" Onan the Librarian when asked to fetch a book by a high level 1/2 orc barbarian w/ Int12 and literacy and needs a book on ancient history so he and the wizaerd can save the world!!! :cookie: If you know what Onan is from;). Next Topic: Coked out Tinker Gnomes (this is from one of my previous adventures. Don't ask...)
Rania 11-06-07, 09:49 AM	Moron librarians who can't find stuff you desperately need: "Yeah, I can find that... I think. Um, it should ahhh.... um.... I think it might have been umm, eh.... I s it over there?" Onan the Librarian when asked to fetch a book by a high level 1/2 orc barbarian w/ Int12 and literacy and needs a book on ancient history so he and the wizard can save the world!!! :cookie: If you know what Onan is from;). Next Topic: Coked out Tinker Gnomes (this is from one of my previous adventures. Don't ask...)"Suuure, dude. Don't wooorry. I can make explosive just fiiine while high...." *BOOM* Next topic: Monty Python quotes
DonThelonious 11-06-07, 09:57 AM	Monty Python Quotes: "Tis but a flesh wound!!" :doh: I had to... Next Topic: MORE Monty Python Quotes!!!
Rania 11-06-07, 10:00 AM	Monty Python Quotes: "Tis but a flesh wound!!" :doh: I had to... Next Topic: MORE Monty Python Quotes!!!http://www.geneticanomaly.com/RPG-Motivational/slides/montypython.jpg Next topic: why ... uh, make up your own
Makuya 11-06-07, 11:56 AM	http://www.geneticanomaly.com/RPG-Motivational/slides/montypython.jpg Next topic: why ... uh, make up your own "Come on, the DM won't throw anything at us we can't beat." Topic: Tiamat
ShaneWindby 11-06-07, 01:55 PM	Lets give her some headaches ... Next Topic: Kobold Traps
Rania 11-06-07, 03:43 PM	Lets give her some headaches ... Next Topic: Kobold Traps"Bah! What can they make with an 8 Intelligence?!" Next topic: carrying too much heavy random stuff
Fly666monkey 11-06-07, 03:55 PM	"Bah! What can they make with an 8 Intelligence?!" Next topic: carrying too much heavy random stuff "of course it's secure!" Almard, half-elf wizard just before being killed by a loose frying pan. Next topic: The Virgin Succubus After that: Things you should never say to the DM
Rania 11-06-07, 03:59 PM	"of course it's secure!" Almard, half-elf wizard just before being killed by a loose frying pan. Next topic: The Virgin Succubus After that: Things you should never say to the DM"... Uh.... That isn't even...." *brain explodes*
The_Rouge 11-06-07, 04:07 PM	Hey! Its MY character and if I want to kill the terrasque if i want to! Even if there is two of 'em! topic: penguins and kobolds
Makuya 11-06-07, 04:59 PM	"Aw... so cute... AGH SO MANY POINTY THINGS!" Next: DM is drunk as hell
chunkeylubber53 11-06-07, 06:03 PM	(player to DM) What'cha going to do, make my character explode? Next topic; Half-orc barbarians and icecream
Rania 11-06-07, 07:28 PM	(player to DM) Whatcha going to do, make my character explode? Next topic; Half-orc barbarians and ice cream"I scream, we scream -- we all scream because he's raging for ice-cream!" Next topic: An elf and a gnome walk into a bar....
Dougan Axehammer 11-06-07, 07:29 PM	"Sorry, no apple pie" Topic: Apple pie
Dougan Axehammer 11-06-07, 07:31 PM	Next topic: An elf and a gnome walk into a bar.... To elf: Uh, hey, dude; I know yer like inta nature 'n' everythin', but... didya hafta bring the lawn ornaments wit' ya? Topic: Apple pie
Rania 11-06-07, 07:35 PM	"Gravity shmavity, we all know what makes the world go 'round!" Next topic: sewers
Fly666monkey 11-06-07, 07:51 PM	"Are those rats supposed to be..... glowing?" Next topic: Dwarf tossing
mathew99 11-06-07, 08:34 PM	Dwarf: "Ok but don't tell the elf." Tosser: " Hey elf-boy, I just through the dwarf into the middle of combat, he might need some cover." Next topic: crossing the gate to Mordor
trappedslider 11-06-07, 10:17 PM	Dwarf: "Ok but don't tell the elf." Tosser: " Hey elf-boy, I just through the dwarf into the middle of combat, he might need some cover." Next topic: crossing the gate to Mordor "No,I don't have a passport." Next topic: Paper cut
Fly666monkey 11-06-07, 10:29 PM	"No,I don't have a passport." Next topic: Paper cut "It's turning green, but no worries, it's just a paper cut!" -Eddemus, 1 minuite before his hand exploded. Next topic: Human-Vampire-Hobo love triangle
mathew99 11-06-07, 10:47 PM	Big orc named Tank: " I'm coming in!!!" (assuming that none of them were bigger than medium.) Next topic: Refrences to saturday morning cartoons
Spikes01k 11-07-07, 10:56 AM	Big orc named Tank: " I'm coming in!!!" (assuming that none of them were bigger than medium.) Next topic: Refrences to saturday morning cartoons "You know if i didn't know better this looked just like one of those road runner traps?" *walks on to X* "Is this a joke?"
The_Rouge 11-07-07, 11:19 AM	since fellow forgot topic. pun-pun for me:D Pun-Pun?! HAHAHAHA!!! WHAT SORT OF FREAKING NAME IS PUN-PUN?! topic: fire
Dragonturtle 11-07-07, 12:22 PM	"Hey guys, this looks flammable!" a dire ferret
Rania 11-07-07, 12:25 PM	"Hey guys, this looks flammable!" a dire ferret"Bah! I got nipped by a ferret on the eyebrow once and survived. This thing won't hurt!" Next topic: Eberron rules in a non-Eberron setting
camthalion 11-07-07, 02:32 PM	] topic: fire Thrand the Barbarian: "Hey guys, does inflammable mean 'will burn' or 'won't burn'? Are you sure?" ... sorry, I know 'fire' had already been done but seriously, a lot of people don't know that inflammable means 'will easily burn'. Wikipedia advises: "Inflammable can be misinterpreted as an antonym of flammable and so taken to have the opposite meaning to that intended. Where such confusion might arise, especially where this may be a safety hazard, it is preferable to use a synonym". Now, back to your regularly scheduled thread. ...
Fly666monkey 11-07-07, 03:56 PM	ok, no topic, so.. Zombie cows "Let's tip it!" next topic: Just plain stupid.
skio 11-07-07, 05:05 PM	Next topic: Eberron rules in a non-Eberron setting 'Look! a lone warforged! let's get him!' [it was an iron golem] next topic: Just plain stupid. Wizard: 'I put the 8 I rolled in Int. Did I do something wrong?' next topic: shapechangers
Dragonturtle 11-07-07, 06:17 PM	"Oh come on, I can so take your mom!" Next topic: a gold piece
mathew99 11-07-07, 06:36 PM	topic: gold piece Wizard: "Hey guys check out this gold piece that i cast exploding rune on." Theif's player: "Ok I roll a sleight of hand check." DM: " You succeed." Next topic: What's up with that?
Rania 11-07-07, 06:47 PM	topic: gold piece Wizard: "Hey guys check out this gold piece that i cast exploding rune on." Theif's player: "Ok I roll a sleight of hand check." DM: " You succeed." Next topic: What's up with that?"Owlbears!" Next topic: poorly-timed sneezes
Fly666monkey 11-07-07, 07:40 PM	"Yes, Pelor, i love your new shirt, it- ACHOOOOOOOOOO!!!" next topic: Vampire vacation spots
Makuya 11-07-07, 07:44 PM	*at the Eternal night beach, upon seeing a 'hot chick'* "Hey baby, wanna have a wild night?" *makes love and soon gets bit* Next topic: Cow Level
DonThelonious 11-07-07, 11:56 PM	Cow Level: "What the hells!!!?!?! There is no cow level!!!!" Gug the half-orc upon seeing a anthropomorphic cow with a giant axe:P. (I loved both Diablos...) Next Topic: kobold barbarians
BarivusTheFearless 11-08-07, 04:36 AM	"There's only thirty of them..." NEXT: a pint of ale
DarthCaedus 11-08-07, 07:29 AM	A pint of ale: Hey guys, we can take him, he's only a drunkard/Drunken Master. Next Topic: Literal DM's
DonThelonious 11-08-07, 06:40 PM	Literal DMs: "I wish I could fly!" Gnome who just found a ring of wishes, then he was found by a giant. He flew. Next Topic: Elves with greatswords:D
BarivusTheFearless 11-08-07, 08:02 PM	"OOOOO pointy ears and a shiny sword... i'm SO impressed' *insert dying noise here* NEXT: Hextor :P
DonThelonious 11-08-07, 08:56 PM	Hextor: "HEXTOR! :censored: Hextor! Whats he gonna do, rules lawer me to death?" Next Topic: Emo Drizz't Clones
Rania 11-08-07, 09:46 PM	Hextor: "HEXTOR! :censored: Hextor! Whats he gonna do, rules lawyer me to death?" Next Topic: Emo Drizz't Clones"Waah, my life sucks, my race is evil, everybody hates me because of my race, I wish I was dead...." PC: "Uh, DM, why are you suddenly rolling dice...." DM: *evil laugh* Next topic: the Lady of Pain (Sigil, Planescape)
BarivusTheFearless 11-08-07, 11:43 PM	"Waah, my life sucks, my race is evil, everybody hates me because of my race, I wish I was dead...." PC: "Uh, DM, why are you suddenly rolling dice...." DM: *evil laugh* Next topic: the Lady of Pain (Sigil, Planescape) lmfao sounds like my kinda DMing... lol RESPONSE: "Hey baby, I'm a masochist." NEXT: a napping red dragon :)
trappedslider 11-09-07, 12:30 AM	lmfao sounds like my kinda DMing... lol RESPONSE: "Hey baby, I'm a masochist." NEXT: a napping red dragon :) "Even if i poke it in the nose it still won't wake." Next: the Muffin man
Oromis_Shurtugal 11-09-07, 08:05 AM	"Even if i poke it in the nose it still won't wake." Next: the Muffin man Do I know you? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Next: Celestial Dire BADGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
Rania 11-09-07, 11:16 AM	Do I know you? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Next: Celestial Dire BADGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!"It won't hurt me, it's good!" Next topic: blackmail
knightwriter 11-09-07, 12:08 PM	et tu dm? or I rolled a 20 and I'm still dead?
Makuya 11-09-07, 12:20 PM	Since he forgot a topic.... Topic: Pizza Golem (XD)
Dougan Axehammer 11-09-07, 02:37 PM	Since he forgot a topic.... Topic: Pizza Golem (XD) "Well that was cheesy" Topic: You want fries with that?
Rania 11-09-07, 02:45 PM	"Well that was cheesy" Topic: You want fries with that?"It ISN'T pure evil; how can it be, it's just a fast food restaurant?!" Next topic: math
Belkar 11-09-07, 02:55 PM	Next topic: math "Calculus Golem? What the :censored: is a Calculus Golem?!.... Oh... no... Derivatives.....sss....ss...AAAAAAAaaaaa rrrrrrghgghghghgh....." Next topic: Furries.
Rania 11-09-07, 03:01 PM	"Calculus Golem? What the :censored: is a Calculus Golem?!.... Oh... no... Derivatives.....sss....ss...AAAAAAAaaaaa rrrrrrghgghghghgh....." Next topic: Furries."Bah, it's just a pathetic little wolf furry. Let's kill it." (to a werewolf) (Derivatives really aren't that bad....) Next topic: Star Wars quotes
Rania 11-09-07, 03:08 PM	(Can I steal the idea of a Calculus Golem? It'd be a great monster to pull on people.)
Belkar 11-09-07, 03:12 PM	"Bah, it's just a pathetic little wolf furry. Let's kill it." (to a werewolf) (Derivatives really aren't that bad....) Next topic: Star Wars quotes (Yeah, I know... but it's what comes to mind when I think of Calculus) [to the 2nd level PC] "You will defeat that red dragon... it is your des-ti-ny...!" or "OMG - is that a gibbering mouther!? What's it saying...?" "...something... something... something... DARK SIDE... something... something... something... COM-PLETE..." Next Topic: Gnomes.
Belkar 11-09-07, 03:13 PM	(Can I steal the idea of a Calculus Golem? It'd be a great monster to pull on people.) But of course!! ;)
trappedslider 11-09-07, 03:14 PM	(Yeah, I know... but it's what comes to mind when I think of Calculus) [to the 2nd level PC] "You will defeat that red dragon... it is your des-ti-ny...!" or "OMG - is that a gibbering mouther!? What's it saying...?" "...something... something... something... DARK SIDE... something... something... something... COM-PLETE..." Next Topic: Gnomes. "Gnomish death grip? HEy what are oyu planning to do with thsoe tongs...." Next topic: Oaky nuttyness
Belkar 11-09-07, 03:16 PM	Next topic: Oaky nuttyness "MMMmmm... these mushrooms are great!! They've got an... oaky, nuttyness.... what did you say these were? Violet Fungus? Never heard of it..." Next Topic: Buttery Goodness.
Rania 11-09-07, 03:18 PM	"Gnomish death grip? Hey what are you planning to do with those tongs...." Next topic: Oaky nuttinessResponding to an Awakened oak tree who's made a proposal, and has the PC's life in its "hands": "What, are you nuts?!" Next topic: the Win golem (special attacks: pwn n00bs, hit with chair, give Clue [can't remember where the stats were, somewhere on this site])
Belkar 11-09-07, 03:23 PM	Next topic: the Win golem (special attacks: pwn n00bs, hit with chair, give Clue [can't remember where the stats were, somewhere on this site]) "OMG!! It's... some kind of golem!!! What's it saying???" "i wi11 pwn u n00bs!!! i hv uber l337 aBiLiTieS teh leiks 0f witch u nvr seen" Next Topic: Buttery Goodness
Rania 11-09-07, 03:26 PM	"OMG!! It's... some kind of golem!!! What's it saying???" "i wi11 pwn u n00bs!!! i hv uber l337 aBiLiTieS teh leiks 0f witch u nvr seen" Next Topic: Buttery Goodness"I don't care about supporting local dairy farmers! I'm having margarine!" (You see, where I come from, a whole bunch of people are either chicken farmers or dairy farmers, and....) Next topic: purple skin
Belkar 11-09-07, 03:31 PM	Next topic: purple skin "Wha... purple skin? Purple skin?? That Rod of Wonder is the stupidest thing I've ever seen, I... oh? Oh no! Look guys... he's pointing it at me again! Oooooh.... so scary..." Next Topic: Hair Gel.
BarivusTheFearless 11-09-07, 04:34 PM	"Before using this fine hair gel product for pets, you must first bathe the pet thouroughly... take for instance, this werebear..." NEXT TOPIC: a bunny rabbit
Belkar 11-09-07, 04:42 PM	NEXT TOPIC: a bunny rabbit "A Dire Bunny Rabbit? No!!! Those don't exist... I mean, look at him... he's soooo cute! Hey... hhrraggaghaaaAAAAA!!!!!!!!!" Next topic: Hampster Wheel
BarivusTheFearless 11-09-07, 04:49 PM	you just insert and then AH! my ****! NEXT TOPIC: a mirror
Belkar 11-09-07, 04:51 PM	NEXT TOPIC: a mirror "Hey, guys... look at what the merchant with the glowing eyes sold me for only six gold pieces!!! What's this label say... mirror of... op... opposition?" Next Topic: Jello.
BarivusTheFearless 11-09-07, 04:56 PM	"MMMMM J-E-L-L-O!!! AAHHH IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!" next topic: a toaster
PerennialRook 11-09-07, 05:49 PM	"Forget your stupid ancient wyrm red dragon quest, this cave is emp-ty! It's long past first breakfasts, and just about brunch. Now help me light a fire so that I can toast my bread... Guys?" Next Topic: the Jabberwocky
Makuya 11-09-07, 06:19 PM	"WHAT IN LEWIS CARROL'S NAME IS THAT?" Next: Illegal magic items
camthalion 11-09-07, 09:23 PM	"WHAT IN LEWIS CARROL'S NAME IS THAT?" Next: Illegal magic items Greyhawk City Guard: "Pipe of Hallucinations" you say? Never heard of it. I'm afraid you're gonna have to come with us. Next: More illegal magic items
mathew99 11-10-07, 02:32 AM	More ilegal magic items: "What's this white powder? White powder of invocation you say, ooooh let me try some. I think I'll cast ... woah my hand is SOOO big. I'd better cast this first spell in the book to fix it,I'm pretty sure it was heal." Druid preceded to cast appocalypse from the sky next topic: Me, myself and Irony
PerennialRook 11-10-07, 02:13 PM	Me, myself and Irony"Why would they put a mirror on the chest of an iron golem?" Next topic: Sea lions, tiger sharks, and bear-piranhas, oh my!
DonThelonious 11-10-07, 09:34 PM	Sea lions, tiger sharks, and bear-piranhas, oh my!: "Okay, we have assembled the perfect team to face this problem: We have that creepy rusted out warforged, an anthropomorphic lion with a stutter, an awakened straw golem though he lacks in intelligence, and a human commoner woman." "What are they up against?" "Sea lions, tiger sharks, and bear-piranhas... Its going to be an aquatic campaign..." "Oh my!!!!" Next Topic: Commoners
camthalion 11-11-07, 12:08 AM	Sea lions, tiger sharks, and bear-piranhas, oh my!: "Okay, we have assembled the perfect team to face this problem: We have that creepy rusted out warforged, an anthropomorphic lion with a stutter, an awakened straw golem though he lacks in intelligence, and a human commoner woman." "What are they up against?" "Sea lions, tiger sharks, and bear-piranhas... Its going to be an aquatic campaign..." "Oh my!!!!" Next Topic: Commoners "Look Igor! The farmers have come to welcome us and have brought their pitchforks and torches. What a quaint local custom!" Next Topic: A new DM who just bought a new random pack of minis and wants to get his money's worth in tonight's game.
DonThelonious 11-11-07, 01:23 AM	A new DM who just bought a new random pack of minis and wants to get his money's worth in tonight's game.: DM- "This is what your up against." Player- "Your a D:censored:K. Next Topic: Warforged Druids
Oromis_Shurtugal 11-11-07, 05:53 AM	A new DM who just bought a new random pack of minis and wants to get his money's worth in tonight's game.: DM- "This is what your up against." Player- "Your a D:censored:K. Next Topic: Warforged Druids WHAT IN THE WORLD?! A TIN MAN TREE-HUGGER HIPPIE!? Next: Final Fantasy references (any game):
ShaneWindby 11-11-07, 12:26 PM	I wonder what turtle sup tasts like ? Next Topic: Soul Blade
Spikes01k 11-11-07, 12:34 PM	I wonder what turtle sup tasts like ? Next Topic: Soul Blade What you think I am going to not use the most said powerful weapon ever just because of a fairy tell? Ha, its just a sword, whats the worse that could happen? Topic: WotC Forum board.
camthalion 11-11-07, 01:55 PM	What you think I am going to not use the most said powerful weapon ever just because of a fairy tell? Ha, its just a sword, whats the worse that could happen? Topic: WotC Forum board. "Wow, what a negative board. I wonder what will happen to me if I say something positive about WOTC...." Topic: Monsters waiting to see if they make it into 4e MMI.
Hellsbells 11-11-07, 02:14 PM	Minotuar... made it Troll... Signifigantly changed Avoral.... CUT! *pop* :eek: :surrender :bigeyes: :ghosted: Next Topic: Monsters waiting to see if they'll be coming back from old editions
Belkar 11-12-07, 11:21 AM	Next Topic: Monsters waiting to see if they'll be coming back from old editions "Hah! Modron!? What the :censored: is a Modron? Oooooh! The little cube is going to "hurt" me.... hah!" Next Topic: Brand New Monsters Created for 4th Edition.
RobbyPants 11-12-07, 11:25 AM	"Not the face! Not the face!!!"
Hellsbells 11-12-07, 11:27 AM	"Not the face! Not the face!!!" ummm wat? Current topic is: New monsters created for fourth edition
Makuya 11-12-07, 11:54 AM	ummm wat? Current topic is: New monsters created for fourth edition "By Bahamut's roar, what is that???" Next: Cursed dice
Rania 11-12-07, 12:49 PM	"By Bahamut's roar, what is that???" Next: Cursed dicePC: *whimpers* DM: Muahahah! Next topic: half-orc rogue-barbarians
Dougan Axehammer 11-12-07, 12:52 PM	Post deleted.
RobbyPants 11-12-07, 01:22 PM	ummm wat? Current topic is: New monsters created for fourth edition I secretly changed the topic back to it's original topic. Keep up, man! :P Next topic: pointless threads
Belkar 11-12-07, 02:21 PM	Next topic: pointless threads "Man, that Plutonium-laced, Heavy, Mercurial, spiked chain Katana wielded by a polymorphed druid ranting about 4th edition is such a weak weapon!! I'm gonna pwn that n00b because all fighters and sorcerors are lame and underpowered, but druids are sooooo BROKEN....! Guys... what are you doing...? Um... you're my party, why are you...!? Stay back!! Aaaaaargggh.....!!!" Next Topic: Aboleths.
RobbyPants 11-12-07, 04:12 PM	Aboleths are a creature that I've never used. Next topic: The Ghost Faced Killer PrC from Complete Adventurer
Belkar 11-12-07, 04:15 PM	Aboleths are a creature that I've never used. Next topic: The Ghost Faced Killer PrC from Complete Adventurer [so............. why did you decide to post? And not just post nothing, but change the topic....? ;) ] "Ghost Faced Killer? Oh, I love his music! What...? Holy Mother of -" New Topic: Aboleths! :D
DM_Shonuff 11-12-07, 04:32 PM	"So let me get this right, I take that slime, and bottle it with some spices and women will buy it by the wagonloads? Abolegris? Shoot, lead me at the little squid.. Where is -....." Next death topic: Yuan-Ti.
Hellsbells 11-12-07, 04:36 PM	Whys it gotta be snakes? I hate snakes! Next Topic: pigeons
camthalion 11-12-07, 05:53 PM	Whys it gotta be snakes? I hate snakes! Next Topic: pigeons Said by rogue on tightrope: "Ah, crap! That pigeon %#@! in my eye!" Next Topic: Suspicious items found in dragon hordes.
dawnbringer 11-12-07, 06:29 PM	Sees a sword in a rock with a slit that looks like a lever: Pulls sword, "Ahhhhhhh!" Next Topic: Santa Claus
DonThelonious 11-13-07, 09:38 AM	Santa Claus: "I swear on Pelor I was good this year. Wait... your not Santa! Your that half-feind!!!! The one with the pitchfork!! Ahhhhgggg....." Next Topic: Animated Dinnerware
Rania 11-13-07, 10:01 AM	Santa Claus: "I swear on Pelor I was good this year. Wait... your not Santa! Your that half-feind!!!! The one with the pitchfork!! Ahhhhgggg....." Next Topic: Animated Dinnerware"Bah. Ooh look, the DM made something from Beauty and the Beast.... I'm SO scared...." Next topic: really weird multiclassing
DonThelonious 11-13-07, 11:13 AM	Really Weird Multiclassing: "So tell me again. How DOES a once cleric of Nerull, with focus on necromancy, become a Radiant Servant Of Pelor? I seem to have forgotten, though what really confused me is your levels in Wu-Jen, too. Next Topic: Universal Glue
Narf_the_Mouse 11-13-07, 11:20 AM	"I'm gonna glue the dragons' mouth shut!" Next topic: Tablecloth(s)
Rania 11-13-07, 11:35 AM	"I'm gonna glue the dragons' mouth shut!" Next topic: Tablecloth(s)"...and I shall pull the tablecloth out from under the DM's munchies without spilling them!" Next topic: half-elf bards
BarivusTheFearless 11-13-07, 01:31 PM	"Maestro, if you please..." Next topic: A jar of pickles +1
RobbyPants 11-13-07, 01:52 PM	[so............. why did you decide to post? And not just post nothing, but change the topic....? ;) ] You're questioning the merit of my post in a thread that's sole purpose is to change the topic? :P Next topic: No new topic. We'll keep it at A jar of pickles +1
Rania 11-13-07, 01:54 PM	Um, you change the topic AFTER you've done the previous topic.
Rania 11-13-07, 01:59 PM	So, +1 jar of pickles: "They're only cucumbers." Next topic: orange juice
Belkar 11-13-07, 03:30 PM	You're questioning the merit of my post in a thread that's sole purpose is to change the topic? :P Yeah, dude... no offense meant... :) But your post didn't have a "thing to say right before you die". You just... changed the topic... The thread is a "thing to say right before you die" that relates the previous poster's "Next Topic". You then change the topic to something else... :)
Belkar 11-13-07, 03:32 PM	Next topic: orange juice On that note... :) "No, it's not alchemist's fire! It's orange juice! Just look at that beautiful color - fresh squeezed, I'll bet! Go taste it, Krunk..." Next Topic: Two-Weapon Fighting
RobbyPants 11-13-07, 03:46 PM	Yeah, dude... no offense meant... :) But your post didn't have a "thing to say right before you die". You just... changed the topic... The thread is a "thing to say right before you die" that relates the previous poster's "Next Topic". You then change the topic to something else... :) Yeah, I figured that out after the fact. :P oops! :eek: Anyway... Next Topic: Two-Weapon Fighting Two weapon fighting is good for rogues, and other classes that can increase their per-attack damage. Although it sucks against damage reduction. Next topic: Invisible Christopher Walken
Belkar 11-13-07, 03:50 PM	Yeah, I figured that out after the fact. :P oops! :eek: Anyway... Two weapon fighting is good for rogues, and other classes that can increase their per-attack damage. Although it sucks against damage reduction. Next topic: Invisible Christopher Walken lololol... dude... okay, I still think you might be missing this... The point is to make a snarky or funny quote a PC would say "in game" right before dying... that has to relate to the topic in question. So... for Invisible Christopher Walken: "What... what is that noise? It sound's like a... cowbell? I... I... gotta have more cowbell, baby....!! [*thunk*]" Next Topic: Weapons with reach
BarivusTheFearless 11-13-07, 04:03 PM	So, +1 jar of pickles: "They're only cucumbers." Next topic: orange juice the jar wasn't +1, the pickles were... :P [Next Topic: Weapons with reach] "HAHAHAHA i just jumped a square back... get me now bi" *stabbity stabb* NEXT TOPIC: Another missed topic by RobbyPants.
Hellsbells 11-13-07, 08:04 PM	Dont worry, its Robbypants. He'll never get the poi- *thunk*
PerennialRook 11-13-07, 08:24 PM	Next topic?
Hellsbells 11-13-07, 08:28 PM	(( o yah )) Next topic: cards
Narf_the_Mouse 11-13-07, 08:46 PM	"What kind of villian name is Killer Clown, anyway?" Next topic: Beanbag.
PerennialRook 11-13-07, 09:33 PM	"What do you mean minimum safe distance? It fires beanbags! Watch. I'll point it at myself." THUNK! CRACK! Next Topic: Notorious serial murderer, The Smiley Face Killer.
BarivusTheFearless 11-13-07, 09:43 PM	"What kind of villian name is Killer Clown, anyway?" Next topic: Beanbag. Wow... I love these kinds of chairs they are so freaking comfy. But why was the magi yelling at it before he ran away? Maybe I'll just sit in it while I think about that... NEXT TOPIC: An epic level tiefling ranger on your very first campaign. :)
BarivusTheFearless 11-13-07, 09:49 PM	"What do you mean minimum safe distance? It fires beanbags! Watch. I'll point it at myself." THUNK! CRACK! Next Topic: Notorious serial murderer, The Smiley Face Killer. Aw look he's smiling at me... hey there frie... GEHHHHHHH (Sorry for the skip, i started to post and was interrupted. NEXT TOPIC: And epic level tiefling ranger on your very first campaign.
Narf_the_Mouse 11-13-07, 09:50 PM	"He's a ranger, of course he's good!" Next topic: Role reversal
BarivusTheFearless 11-13-07, 10:16 PM	"He's a ranger, of course he's good!" Next topic: Role reversal lol well played... "Ok now I'LL be the dm..." ZAAPP "AAHHHH where'd that lighting come from?" ZAAAAPPPP Next topic: A +2 Lemur trained with Fetch and Guard. :P
Tanel 11-13-07, 10:27 PM	*Fighter to the party* "Look guys, we'll just sneak around it! There's no way it'll move from that spot in front of the door............" Next Topic: Environmental problems
Narf_the_Mouse 11-13-07, 10:53 PM	"Not the astral plane!! I have a phobia of falling!!!!" (I think the Astral Plane is the one where gravity is subjective) Next topic: Pidgeon.
BarivusTheFearless 11-13-07, 11:34 PM	*Fighter to the party* "Look guys, we'll just sneak around it! There's no way it'll move from that spot in front of the door............" Next Topic: Environmental problems awww that's the best you could do :'( jk :P "Pigeons? Good thing they aren't demonic or anything... Wait... They AAARRRRGGGHHH" Next Topic: A set of animated throwing knives.
Narf_the_Mouse 11-13-07, 11:45 PM	"Why do throwing knives need arms and hands?" And that's 'Pigeon'. One. :) Try again.
BarivusTheFearless 11-13-07, 11:47 PM	"Why do throwing knives need arms and hands?" And that's 'Pigeon'. One. :) Try again. yes, un-pluralize much? and... next topic?
Narf_the_Mouse 11-13-07, 11:53 PM	Oh, if you must...I mean, it's not like it's hard... :P :D Origami
BarivusTheFearless 11-14-07, 12:00 AM	:P Wow that look pretty... hey if you pull the tail it flaps its little wings... who made this I wonder... AH IT BIT OFF MY FINGER! WHAT THE HELL!!!! NEXT TOPIC: the Lucky Charms leperchan
Narf_the_Mouse 11-14-07, 12:05 AM	"Hey, look! He's happy all the time! Hehehe, looks like I found myself a sucker!" (Because no-one can be tricked all the time and still be that happy) Next topic: My Little Pony. One, or plural. :P
BarivusTheFearless 11-14-07, 12:29 AM	didn't even use his catch phrase? aw...
Narf_the_Mouse 11-14-07, 12:31 AM	Hey, my allergies are killing me. Or possibly a cold.
BarivusTheFearless 11-14-07, 12:37 AM	"Hey, look! He's happy all the time! Hehehe, looks like I found myself a sucker!" (Because no-one can be tricked all the time and still be that happy) Next topic: My Little Pony. One, or plural. :P "Hey there, may I ride you?" Next topic: A new DM who's too lazy to make the dungeons and decides to wing it, but still has trouble... hehehe
Narf_the_Mouse 11-14-07, 12:39 AM	"Nah, the GM wouldn't throw a vampire at us at fifth level..." Next topic: Cthulhu...Slippers.
BarivusTheFearless 11-14-07, 12:45 AM	"Nah, the GM wouldn't throw a vampire at us at fifth level..." Next topic: Cthulhu...Slippers. funny... i dont remember my fluffy bunny slippers eye's glowing... or having fangs... Next Topic: Order of fries, SUPERSIZED!
trappedslider 11-14-07, 12:49 AM	funny... i dont remember my fluffy bunny slippers eye's glowing... or having fangs... Next Topic: Order of fries, SUPERSIZED! What do you mean these will ARgh... (heart attack) next topic: a CR 1 trap
Makuya 11-14-07, 12:53 AM	What do you mean these will ARgh... (heart attack) next topic: a CR 1 trap Rogue: "I can do this very easil-" *rogue's player rolled a 1* Next: Doppleganger
Narf_the_Mouse 11-14-07, 01:33 AM	"Hello, darling!" Next topic: Well-meaning CN
Calsan 11-14-07, 04:03 AM	CN to the parties paladin: " What you mean that I shouldn't burn down that orphanage? The owner was evil after all!" Next topic: Ten foot poles
BarivusTheFearless 11-14-07, 06:22 AM	CN to the parties paladin: " What you mean that I shouldn't burn down that orphanage? The owner was evil after all!" Next topic: Ten foot poles "That things not carved to a point or anythi*GAH*" Next Topic: Meatloaf.
mactagart 11-14-07, 06:45 AM	"Risen Marter? You have to be kidding I already have my new charecter rolled up " True line said in a real game... Yes I know I cant spell deal with it
mactagart 11-14-07, 06:48 AM	Another true line : "what the h@#$ happened ?" Rouge as he see's the parties keep burning to the ground "Remeber when you said dont let any vampires in while you were gone?" "yes?" the rouge replies looking confused "tater forgot !!!!" True story Mac
mactagart 11-14-07, 06:51 AM	Player " I know I teleport!" Dm " You telport Where?" Plaryer " Any where I dont care as long as I am not here!!!" Dm "poof you are in the side of a moutian!" Hey I was only 14 !!! Mac
Hellsbells 11-14-07, 07:15 AM	(( another guy not knowing how this works.... sigh )) The topic is: Meatfloaf
Tanel 11-14-07, 08:42 AM	Well, isn't that nice? See, the villigers are giving us lodging and feeding us meatloaf. There's no way they could be part of that cult of cannibals we've been looking for......... (Two cannibals eating a clown. One looks to the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?") *buh-dum-dum, ching!* Next Topic: Cute gone wrong
PerennialRook 11-14-07, 09:18 AM	[Cute gone wrong] "You would have thought chibi-thulu would have at least been a little cute..." Next topic: half-eaten cockroach.
RobbyPants 11-14-07, 09:30 AM	lololol... dude... okay, I still think you might be missing this... The point is to make a snarky or funny quote a PC would say "in game" right before dying... that has to relate to the topic in question. Oops :eek: Maybe I need to re-read the freakin OP :doh: See if I can do it right this time... Next topic: half-eaten cockroach. "Thic cockroach is delicoius! I can't wait to finish the other half! Wait. What do you mean it's poisoned?" Next Topic: Dawning moment of comprehension. ;)
Rania 11-14-07, 10:29 AM	Oops :eek: Maybe I need to re-read the freakin OP :doh: See if I can do it right this time... "This cockroach is delicious! I can't wait to finish the other half! Wait. What do you mean it's poisoned?" Next Topic: Dawning moment of comprehension. ;)"So... he was really evil! And he loved traps.... Wait, he built this building we're i--" *THUD* *SPIKE* Next topic: cancelled classes!
Makuya 11-14-07, 11:24 AM	"So... he was really evil! And he loved traps.... Wait, he built this building we're i--" *THUD* *SPIKE* Next topic: cancelled classes! Divine/Arcane base class: "What do you mean I wasn't accepted?" Next: Cleric of Kelemvor
Rania 11-14-07, 11:30 AM	Divine/Arcane base class: "What do you mean I wasn't accepted?" Next: Cleric of Kelemvor"Your god's a goth!" Next topic: SAN points
PerennialRook 11-14-07, 02:35 PM	Next topic: SAN points "You would have thought chibi-thulu would have at least been a little cute..." Next Topic: grammatical error
RobbyPants 11-14-07, 03:11 PM	Next Topic: grammatical error "Warning. Dedly traps ahead! That's not how you spell deadly!" Next Topic: Owlbears
Narf_the_Mouse 11-14-07, 05:48 PM	"Oh, hey guys. Do any of you speak sign language? Dave was eating the owlbear and then suddenly he started squeeking and pointing at his throat." Next Topic: Cursed feather duster
Belkar 11-14-07, 06:33 PM	Next Topic: Cursed feather duster "Guys, did you hear about my uncle Gorak the Bold? He sneezed himself to death!! Wow, crazy... he left me this cool feather duster though... strange... uncle Gorak always hated me... I'm... [wipes a tear] I'm so touched he thought of me in his will... [sob] [sneeze]..." Next Topic: Tojanidas.
Rania 11-14-07, 07:21 PM	"Guys, did you hear about my uncle Gorak the Bold? He sneezed himself to death!! Wow, crazy... he left me this cool feather duster though... strange... uncle Gorak always hated me... I'm... [wipes a tear] I'm so touched he thought of me in his will... [sob] [sneeze]..." Next Topic: Tojanidas."It -- doesn't -- make -- SENSE!!!" *brain explodes* (Sorry if I'd already done that before) Next topic: very silly epidemics
Belkar 11-14-07, 08:07 PM	Next topic: very silly epidemics "An epidemic of munchkinism! Great Gods... there's spike chain wielding half-ogres all over the place! Wait... they're... oh Gods! They're learning Improved Grapple! Nooooooooo....................!!!!!!" Next topic: Xorns.
RobbyPants 11-14-07, 08:26 PM	Next topic: Xorns. "Three legs? I've never seen anything quite like it! No. Don't be silly. It doesn't have any weapons. How dangerous can it be?" Next topic: Gambling.
Narf_the_Mouse 11-14-07, 08:42 PM	"Uh, guys? I kinda lost 25,000 in diamonds..." (Take your pick of 'Party killed him' or 'Party decided they could do without resurecting him') Next Topic: Bits and pieces
trappedslider 11-14-07, 10:42 PM	[QUOTE=Narf_the_Mouse;14335475 Next Topic: Bits and pieces[/QUOTE] "Whats this human doing falling from the sky" *then eatten by flying dragon* Next topic: Headcrab (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Headcrab)
Makuya 11-14-07, 10:47 PM	"WHAT THE **** IS THAT CREA-" *headcrab eats his head* Next: balors explode
BarivusTheFearless 11-14-07, 10:49 PM	"What do you mean Balors" BOOM Next Topic: a negative Charisma modifier
Tanel 11-14-07, 11:31 PM	[Neg. Cha. Mod.] *Bard to party* "Don't worry. I'm sure I can parlay (sp?) with the Lizardfolk. I'm positive this lizardskin skullcap will allow me to speak their language................." Next Topic: Too much magic
The_Virus 11-15-07, 06:21 AM	wow, this temple seems really unguarded, that's odd. I bet they don't even have magic barriers up! *walks into open space, explodes* next topic, cannibalistic elf protagonists.
Tanel 11-15-07, 08:55 AM	*to the elf* "Yeah right! That's an empty threat! I know for a fact that elves are vegitarians." Next Topic: The hazards of flying in D&D.
Calsan 11-15-07, 09:31 AM	Next Topic: The hazards of flying in D&D. "Ha, flying does mean we don't have to worry about triggering the really awfull mean ground traps we seem to encounter so much of....Szing" Next topic: Slow flowing rivers
RobbyPants 11-15-07, 11:03 AM	Next topic: Slow flowing rivers "Ha! There's hardly any current, and it doesn't look that deep. Looks like I don't have to waste my time taking off my full plate! See you at the other side! gurgle, gurgle, gasp! gurgle" Next Topic: Extra-dimensional storage
Narf_the_Mouse 11-15-07, 11:21 AM	"Hey, look! I got a really cheap Bag of Holding, and all it says is 'Slight danger of Shoggoths', whatever they are." Next topic: Banana
Dougan Axehammer 11-15-07, 11:58 AM	Next Topic: Extra-dimensional storage Thought this one would be all too familiar: "Hey, I just found a portable hole! I think I'll save this in my bag of holding for later." Next topic: Banana "What Gorilla?" Next topic: Fan
Belkar 11-15-07, 12:02 PM	Next topic: Fan "Hah! This stupid magical fan-shaped token is worthless!! Useless!! I'll just throw it on the ground here as I walk along the cliff edge... dumb token..." Next Topic: Asmodeus in the Shower.
BarivusTheFearless 11-15-07, 12:50 PM	"Hah! This stupid magical fan-shaped token is worthless!! Useless!! I'll just throw it on the ground here as I walk along the cliff edge... dumb token..." Next Topic: Asmodeus in the Shower. "WTF! I'm in here!" NEXT TOPIC: Your hand being cursed and trying to kill you.
RobbyPants 11-15-07, 01:03 PM	NEXT TOPIC: Your hand being cursed and trying to kill you. "Oh thank you Father Smith! I've been trying to get this curse lifted for weeks! Sure, I'll make a donation to the temple. Just let my put this dagger in my cursed hand while I get my coin purse..." Next Topic: Tarasque as a familiar
Belkar 11-15-07, 02:17 PM	Next Topic: Tarasque as a familiar "All right, Tiny... now get in the familiar pocket. Tiny!! I SAID get in the familiar pocket!! TINY!! TINY!! GET IN THE... oh, for the love of pete... hand me that rolled up newspaper...!" Next topic: the Positive Energy Plane.
RobbyPants 11-15-07, 03:31 PM	Next topic: the Positive Energy Plane. "Planeshift! This is going to be totally awesommmmmmme!" *POP* Next Topic: The lich queen of the Gythyanki
camthalion 11-15-07, 09:08 PM	"Planeshift! This is going to be totally awesommmmmmme!" *POP* Next Topic: The lich queen of the Gythyanki Kannon Fodder: C'mon men. In that direction lay the stronghold of the Gythyanki. Men: Fight! Kill the lich queen!! Meep the Sane: Or ... run?! Kannon Fodder: Fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our souls, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM! Men: Freedom! Kannon Fodder: FREEDOM!! Men: FREEDOM!!! Meep the Sane: Did he say 'souls'? Next topic: Turducken
trappedslider 11-15-07, 09:22 PM	[QUOTE=camthalion;14344922Next topic: Turducken[/QUOTE] Simmons: [A Turducken.] It's a chicken in a duck in a turkey. Church: You know, because the holiday isn't quite gluttonous enough on its own. Grif: Sounds awesome, is that what we're having? Sarge: Nope. Although impressive, I decided they stopped short when designing the turducken. Church: Yeah. They seem like real underachievers there. Sarge: So I decided to make my own variety. Church: What's that, a pull-cat stuffed in a possum? Sarge: Nope, first we start with a hummingbird- Grif: A what? Sarge: Put that in a sparrow, stuff them both in a corrinsh hen, then put that in a chicken. Put all that in a duck, then a turkey, then in a bigger turkey. Grif: Two turkeys? Sarge: Hey, it's Thanksgiving. Put that in a penguin, stuff that in a peacock, then an eagle, shove it all in an albatross, then an emu, next comes an ostrich, then a leopard! Put all that in a pterodactyl, and then stuff it in a Boeing 747. Church: (Short Pause) Cool. I get a wing. Simmons: I call the turbine. Sarge: Alright! Hunker up boys, hey Grif! What kinda meat do you like? First class, or coach? Church: You know if we cook this thing at three hundred and fifty degrees at ten minutes a pound, it's not gonna be done for 11 years. Sarge: That's why we're going to deep fry. (Oil Tanker Horn) There's the oil now! Simmons: What was the lopard for? Sarge: Presentation. (yeah i know..but i couldn't resist) Next topic: Broken plot device
Tanel 11-15-07, 10:24 PM	*Bard* "Nope. I can't figure out what this wand is for." *Wiz* "Me neither. Hey! Maybe there's something inside. Let's break it open!" Next Topic: Light and darkness
BarivusTheFearless 11-16-07, 12:37 AM	"Ok let's take this wand and rod, cause I can't tell what they do... now you stand and face eachother, then point them at eachother...ok lets see what happens, start shaking them..." NEXT TOPIC: A rod of wonder.
Narf_the_Mouse 11-16-07, 01:52 AM	"Hey, did anybody see the kender?" Next topic: Trap supplies.
camthalion 11-16-07, 07:17 AM	"Hey, did anybody see the kender?" Next topic: Trap supplies. Meep the Sane: Did you bring the trap supplies Kannon asked for? Wary the Untrustworthy: 'Trap supplies'? I thought you said 'trap surprise'! Kannon Fodder: aAHHHHSSSSSHHHHHHHHIIIII.... SCWING / SLICE / THUNK Next topic: Deck of Many Things
DwarvenMonk 11-16-07, 09:05 AM	"A small keep, a +5 magical weapon, and a free level! Just one more and... Huh? Wraith?" Next Topic: Psionics
Tanel 11-16-07, 09:17 AM	*smirk* "I'm not worried. The amulet I just bougt protects me from Mindflayer attacks, so it should work against this psionisist." Next Topic: Stampeede!
ShaneWindby 11-16-07, 09:27 AM	Hmmm, why do i hear thunder ? The sky is clear and blue ... Next Topic: a bundle of cinder
The_Rouge 11-16-07, 10:14 AM	Hmmm, I wonder why the nice kobold left this bundle of cinder.....ohhh its already smoking....how nice he is......oh no.....the tar is taking fire....... (Grokk the barbarian sitting in a pit of tar) topic:wolves and kobolds
Belkar 11-16-07, 10:28 AM	topic:wolves and kobolds Wolf A: "Hmm... [crunch, crunch, crunch...] What do you think?" Wolf B: "Meh... tastes like chicken... s'okay." Wolf A: "I guess... greasy, though..." Wolf B: "Yeah... so, where'd you find it anyway?" Wolf A: "Oustside that newly formed cave over there..." Wolf B: "Oh? Cool... wonder if more of them live in there...?" Wolf A: "I hope so! This one was so easy to kill... huh... imagine if there were hundreds in there!" Wolf B: "Ha Ha! No joke! I mean, what could hundreds of 'em do to us? What? They'd [distant pattering of thousands of reptilian feet...]... um... oh... no.............." Next Topic: Wizard with a lisp.
RobbyPants 11-16-07, 11:12 AM	Next Topic: Wizard with a lisp. "Ha! Idiot! That's not how you pronouce 'stop making fun of me'! I bet you can't even pronounce 'Power Word Kill'!" Next Topic: Goblin rogues
Rania 11-16-07, 11:39 AM	"Ha! Idiot! That's not how you pronounce 'stop making fun of me'! I bet you can't even pronounce 'Power Word Kill'!" Next Topic: Goblin rogues"How can a race that stupid ever hurt me?!" Next topic: auctions
Belkar 11-16-07, 03:31 PM	Next topic: auctions Fighter: "Dude, he's gonna get it..." Wizard: "[whispers] Be quiet... [louder]um... 1200 gold pieces!!" Crowd: "oooooooh....." Auctioneer: "I have 1200 gold pieces, do I hear 1300?" Mysterious Stranger: " 1500 gold pieces..." Crowd: "OOOoooooh....!" Fighter: "Duuuuuude.... he's going to get it!" Wizard: "[checks money purse]Um....um.... 1934 gold pieces and 16 silver!!" Auctioneer: "[shakes head]... I have... 1934 gold pieces and 16 silver pieces... going once... going twice..." Mysterious Stranger: "2000 gold pieces!!!" Crowd: "OOOOOHHHHH....!!!" Auctioneer: "Any new bids? That's 2000 gold pieces, going once... going twice... SOLD... One orb of absolute magical blackness and destruction to the mysterious stranger with the pale skin, raspy voice, and zombie companion who is wearing the evil wizard robes..." Mysterious Stranger: "Muahahahahahhahahaaaaaaa!!!!! [rubs hand together maniacally]" Fighter: "Dude... you suck." Wizard: "Shut up. I hate you. [I]Next Topic: Fey.
Locke219 11-16-07, 03:41 PM	:rofl:RobbyPants, in my book, you just won
RobbyPants 11-16-07, 03:46 PM	:rofl:RobbyPants, in my book, you just won Thanks. Which one? Or are you talking about three pages ago when I couldn't grasp the simple concept of this thread! :P Next Topic: Fey. "OMG! She's so beautiful! Owww! It burns my eyes!!!" Next Topic: Dimunutive iron golem army
Narf_the_Mouse 11-16-07, 04:00 PM	"And you say these action figures were just...mailed to you? Free? With a return address of 'Mordor?'" Next topic: Mutant peas
Locke219 11-16-07, 07:18 PM	Thanks. Which one? the power word kill/wizard with a lisp one:w00t:
Dougan Axehammer 11-16-07, 09:27 PM	"And you say these action figures were just...mailed to you? Free? With a return address of 'Mordor?'" Next topic: Mutant peas Mama always told my vegetables to eat me. Topic: Flatulence
Tanel 11-16-07, 11:36 PM	Mama always told my vegetables to eat me. Topic: Flatulence *Fighter, whispering* "Okay, the wiz has us all hidden from vision. We need to all be quiet while the demons walk by the corridor in front of us." *clawed feet begin marching past, in vast numbers.............* PPPPHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT! *party looks at the dwarf* *Dwarf* "Sorry. Must'a been the peas I ate...." Next Topic: Tiny trouble
Hellsbells 11-17-07, 09:13 AM	Fighter: "Dont worry, the sign said tiny trouble. Its probably something stupid like a missing plank or two in the bridge." Masses of koboldian feet start charging up the tunnel.... Next topic: Barbarians with min/maxed rage abilities
lvl1_commoner 11-17-07, 09:32 AM	" Hey see that ugly guy there? (loud voice) hey you! youre ug.. [splat]" next topic: cats
Tanel 11-17-07, 09:54 AM	" Hey see that ugly guy there? (loud voice) hey you! youre ug.. [splat]" next topic: cats *Wizard* "Sick'em, Fluffy!" Next Topic: problems with water
Hellsbells 11-17-07, 09:58 AM	One word: Storm Blackmoon Next topic: epic adventurers
The_Shaman 11-17-07, 01:55 PM	"Guys, how much trouble can one dog be? What was his name... Here, Kezzy, Kezzy, Kezzy!" next topic: healers
Hellsbells 11-17-07, 02:37 PM	"Guys, how much trouble can one dog be? What was his name... Here, Kezzy, Kezzy, Kezzy!" I dont get it shammy
Shadowwind 11-17-07, 04:52 PM	Facing a large group of orges or any other large monsters. Yelling at them, "Your mother is a Lawful good cleric! Your father is a holy paladin!" See how fast they react and fail their saving rolls.:eek:
Hellsbells 11-17-07, 04:56 PM	Facing a large group of orges or any other large monsters. Yelling at them, "Your mother is a Lawful good cleric! Your father is a holy paladin!" See how fast they react and fail their saving rolls.:eek: ugh.... again
Sol_Odlanier 11-17-07, 07:21 PM	I dont get it shammy Kezef The Chaos Hound is a really powerful "dog-thingy" that ate Tyr Hand and Mask leg
Sol_Odlanier 11-17-07, 07:36 PM	next topic: healers Bard: Hey man after that last fight with that necromancer you look awful and you smell REALLY bad. Fighter: I know I shower all the time but still, and that Cut that I have doesn't heal, Hey Altar Boy DO YOUR JOB AND HEALL ME!!!! Cleric::headexplo :lightbulb Ok:smirk: FighterDon't go Cure light on me idiot go full...\ Next topic: Torm
Hellsbells 11-17-07, 08:31 PM	Kezef The Chaos Hound is a really powerful "dog-thingy" that ate Tyr Hand and Mask leg O... its a demonic, undeadish maggot ridden version of Fenris
Sol_Odlanier 11-17-07, 08:42 PM	....yeah pretty much...
ShaneWindby 11-18-07, 01:33 PM	Next topic: Torm Party Rogu: I bet he will not notice me taking his weapon. Next Topic: Blue Dragon Disciple.
DonThelonious 11-18-07, 06:40 PM	Blue Dragon Disciple: "Hey lizard lover! Shocking to see you here..." Next Topic: Elven Subraces
Hellsbells 11-18-07, 06:47 PM	Wizard: I only need one of every type of elf to complete the ritual. Party: WHAT! Wizard (looking up from spell book): Do you think I should throw in a half-elf for good measure?
TheFrohmen 11-18-07, 07:17 PM	Hero to Elf Lord: "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" Elf Lord: "No, I don't thin-." Hero: "Oh yeah! I saw your picture on the table next to your wife's bed!"
Hellsbells 11-18-07, 07:49 PM	(( sorry I forgot a new topic. )) Next Topic: Dead stuff
TheFrohmen 11-18-07, 09:53 PM	Thank you for saying that AFTER I post!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :P Just kiddin'
Josol 11-19-07, 08:55 AM	Topic: Dead stuff " Nah, that battle happened years ago. All the ghosts have been banished. Quit worrying." Next Topic: Erythnul
Tanel 11-19-07, 09:00 AM	(( sorry I forgot a new topic. )) Next Topic: Dead stuff *Fighter* "Aha! I have defeated these Draconians, as you call them.....................Why are you all running away? They're dead!" Next Topic: Buyer Beware
Tanel 11-19-07, 09:00 AM	Topic: Dead stuff " Nah, that battle happened years ago. All the ghosts have been banished. Quit worrying." Next Topic: Erythnul Oops! we posted at the same time!
Belkar 11-19-07, 09:18 AM	Next Topic: Erythnul "Hey, guys...! I hired this group of mercenaries to help us fight the evil wizard!! They look totally butch and rough - they call themselves "ravagers"? Man... that sounds sooooo tight... By the way... who is this "Erythnul" they keep talking about...? Um..., guys? Why are you all staring at me...?" Next Topic: Buyer Beware Fighter: "Guys... look at this shiny new sword I got from the dark magic bazaar over there! It was practically free!... i must kill you all..." Rogue: "What?! Um... hey, man... that sword... it's got... um... a big skull on it, and the blade is glowing an evil green hue... and... um..." Fighter: "Yeah!! That's 'cause it's tight!! It looks soooo awesome! ...i will rip your hearts and entrails out... Cleric: "Um... why... don't... you... let me have that..., huh? I'd... um... just like to see the inscription on the pommel..." Fighter: "What?! No WAY, dude... it's mine...! I look so cool holding it! See??? [poses dramatically]... you will all die by my hand... Rogue: "Um..." Fighter: "...the streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers..." Next Topic: Chuul buffet.
ff6shadow 11-19-07, 09:23 AM	Hey buddy, I got this morningstar to sell you. It's got a blunt stone head, but its still effective. Holy Symbol of Erythnul carved on the handle? No, thats just an close imitation. Topic: ****** off gods
Sol_Odlanier 11-19-07, 04:03 PM	:mad: Next Topic: Chuul buffet. Sembia Rich Merchant: Waitress?:confused: Waitress: Yes Sir?:) Sembia Rich Merchant: Are you sure My Lobster Is well done?:confused: Waitress: Yes Sir.;) Sembia Rich Merchant:But it's looking at me funny...:( Waitress: They ALL look like that when they are cooked Sir.:rolleyes: Sembia Rich Merchant::coolcthul :eek: It MOVED!!! Waitress::mad: Sir It ok.... Sembia Rich Merchant: O ok *pokes "Lobster" with fork :coolcthul : :drool: *bites head off* Mmmm nothing like eating a snack after a hot bath Now to lay my eggs:pile: Waitress::OMG! Next Topic: Paper Planes
RobbyPants 11-19-07, 04:20 PM	Next Topic: Paper Planes "Ha! With his sword sundered, that fighter is out of options! Wait. He's taking out... a scroll? Now he's folding it and throwing it!" *Splorck!* "Ow! my eye!!!" Next Topic: The babysitting bugbear
Tanel 11-19-07, 07:58 PM	"Ha! With his sword sundered, that fighter is out of options! Wait. He's taking out... a scroll? Now he's folding it and throwing it!" *Splorck!* "Ow! my eye!!!" Next Topic: The babysitting bugbear *Bard* "Trust me. That Charmspell I cast will last for another few hours, at least! The baby griffons we found will be just find and we'll turn them in for the gold later!" (The 'dying' part comes after the party finds out the bard didn't figure the duration of the spell correctly.........) Next Topic: Wand of Wonder in the wrong hands.
DonThelonious 11-20-07, 03:42 AM	Rod of Wonder in the wrong hands: Silver tongued rogue to the gueen: "I have brought for you a marital aid from the far nation of Somesuchplace" New Topic: CoD-ZILLA
RobbyPants 11-20-07, 11:09 AM	New Topic: CoD-ZILLA "Okay group, on the other side of that door lies the two leaders of the cult. There's only two of them and four of us, so lets go in there and kick some tail!" * opens door * "Oh no! A cleric and a druid! We might as well be outnumbered two to one!" Next topic: Taco Bell
BarivusTheFearless 11-20-07, 12:05 PM	"Okay group, on the other side of that door lies the two leaders of the cult. There's only two of them and four of us, so lets go in there and kick some tail!" * opens door * "Oh no! A cleric and a druid! We might as well be outnumbered two to one!" Next topic: Taco Bell Large Orc: Man, these bean burritos are AWESOME *farts* ...Uhm, guys? What the hell are you all doing on the floor? NEXT TOPIC: A smock.
Dougan Axehammer 11-20-07, 01:27 PM	Large Orc: Man, these bean burritos are AWESOME *farts* ...Uhm, guys? What the hell are you all doing on the floor? Or how about: "I tink we need a bigger box." NEXT TOPIC: A smock. "Phsh, don't be ridiculous. Cloakers I've heard of... but smockers? I don't think they exist." Topic: Fresh, clean, breathable air
RobbyPants 11-20-07, 02:00 PM	Topic: Fresh, clean, breathable air Sahaugin raider that got lost: "Must... get.... *gasp* .... to .... *gasp* .... water!" Next Topic: Gnomish flying machines.
Makuya 11-20-07, 02:01 PM	"I wonder what this switch does..." *BOOM* Next topic: a spectre
lordoftea 11-20-07, 02:10 PM	*cheezy goth joke* next topic: switch from 3.0 to 3.5.
Ariakus 11-20-07, 02:59 PM	The party had successfully swam across the strong current of the river, but the weakling wizard stood stone cold looking at the depths of the cold water...he never took any points in Swim!!! Wizard I'll just Polymorph myself into a snake and slither across! Party Come on! The orcs are gaining on you! They're right behind you! Wizard as the words fail to come to mindDamn 3.5! Damn your eyes! Next Topic: Ogre's wives
RobbyPants 11-20-07, 03:03 PM	Next Topic: Ogre's wives "Wow! Your wives are hawt!" :drool: * Smack * Next Topic: Smurfs with poisoned tridents
TheFrohmen 11-20-07, 07:41 PM	Fighter: "Awwww, arn't the the cutes-" *STAB* Smurf: "Yeah, thats how we do it in my town, b****!!" Fighter (dying): "F***ing 'shrooms" --- Next Topic: Redneck (aka Deliverance-like)
Tanel 11-20-07, 09:04 PM	Fighter: "Awwww, arn't the the cutes-" *STAB* Smurf: "Yeah, thats how we do it in my town, b****!!" Fighter (dying): "F***ing 'shrooms" --- Next Topic: Redneck (aka Deliverance-like) *Bard* "We're a little lost. Could you give us some directions?" *Pesant* ................"Ye all have pretty armor.........." *Somewhere, a broken lute begins to play 'Dueling Lyres'* Next Topic: Climbing
Makuya 11-21-07, 12:24 AM	"I hope these rocks hold while we're climbing on them...." *crash-thud-slam-etc.* Next: The last words of Heironeous and Hextor before 4th
Belkar 11-21-07, 08:57 AM	Next: The last words of Heironeous and Hextor before 4th Heironeous: "Um... bro?" Hextor: "Yeah?" Heironeous: "Since... um... well... Look, I'm sorry about all the... like... killing you stuff. You know. I mean... yeah." Hextor: "S'Okay." Heironeous: "Cool..." Hextor: "[sigh]" Heironeous: "Dude......... this sucks." Hextor: "Yeah. I know." Heironeous: "Hold me..." Hextor: "Okay..." Next Topic: Gnomes in 4th Ed.
lordoftea 11-21-07, 09:22 AM	I still get "talk to burrowing animals" as an ability? 4editions and even Dexter has cooler stuff. This sucks *points a wand of scorching ray to his head* next topic: a sorcerer in wizards school
Hellsbells 11-21-07, 10:13 AM	I still get "talk to burrowing animals" as an ability? 4editions and even Dexter has cooler stuff. This sucks *points a wand of scorching ray to his head* next topic: a sorcerer in wizards school Lol, Dexter thats awesome
Gopher 11-21-07, 12:39 PM	I still get "talk to burrowing animals" as an ability? 4editions and even Dexter has cooler stuff. This sucks *points a wand of scorching ray to his head* next topic: a sorcerer in wizards school "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!" Next: overused personality quirks
Belkar 11-21-07, 02:34 PM	Next: overused personality quirks "Oh, you're a drow? Isn't that nice for you... ha! Hey, guys... we can insult him, you know... he won't do jack! Every drow I've met in the last six years has been a chaotic good, dual scimitar wielding pansy who... ahhhhGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!" Next Topic: Unknown Personality Quirks
Narf_the_Mouse 11-21-07, 06:28 PM	Dark Secret: Not psychotic...In a CE party. (It is a personality quirk, in that context) Next topic: Banana peel. Be creative.
fudgethepolice 11-21-07, 08:45 PM	What can be so bad about putting a fork in the toaster???
Hellsbells 11-21-07, 10:05 PM	God this thread is like a magnet for Crossbladers. Anyway the topic is: Bannana peel. With a request that we be creative.
Tanel 11-21-07, 10:50 PM	God this thread is like a magnet for Crossbladers. Anyway the topic is: Bannana peel. With a request that we be creative. *Fighter, min/maxed* "Yeah, right! What's a halfling monk going to do with a banana peal!?!?!?! I'll have him for supper with lemonpepper!.......................What' s a Drunken Master?!" Next Topic: Peasants
Kilrak 11-21-07, 11:14 PM	*Fighter, min/maxed* "Yeah, right! What's a halfling monk going to do with a banana peal!?!?!?! I'll have him for supper with lemonpepper!.......................What' s a Drunken Master?!" Next Topic: Peasants *Lord of the Keep* <stares at the hunter before him, who holds a feathered fowl by the feet> I did not say pheasant, I said peasant!!!! Next topic: Creative uses for oozes
Narf_the_Mouse 11-22-07, 01:19 AM	"Lord StabbityBack said that the deserts at his next feast would be totally shocking!" Next topic: "And he survived the total destruction of his planet..."
DonThelonious 11-22-07, 09:46 AM	"And he survived the total destruction of his planet...": "Come on Ass-modeous, do your worst..." Next Topic: Keebler Elves
Barticus 11-22-07, 09:48 AM	Bard inspiring a rogue... "Hide hide hide in the shadows..."
DonThelonious 11-22-07, 10:17 AM	Eh? Another one.... -- Still same topic: Keebler Elves
camthalion 11-22-07, 01:19 PM	Eh? Another one.... -- Still same topic: Keebler Elves Kannon Fodder: "Hey, you guys are the one's that make shoes, right? ... No? ... Santa's helpers? ... No ... Hey, don't grab and push Mr. Little Grabandpushyhands. ... HEY!! WHY ARE YOU OPENING THAT OVEN?!!" Next topic: Something that's already been done.
Barticus 11-22-07, 01:41 PM	Aww look, its got a cute pointy head.... topic: Gnomes....
Odie_Juan 11-22-07, 04:21 PM	Okay, I see Ernie... where's Burt? Next: Nilbog
GuyrtheadamantineOne 11-22-07, 05:04 PM	Stoopid Pelor cleric! Next: Warforged
Spikes01k 11-22-07, 06:36 PM	Stoopid Pelor cleric! Next: Warforged Hey look at this statue! Its not a golem... OMDG its made out of adementite! Lets milt it down and get some nice full plate armor! Subject: Dice
Sinfire Titan 11-22-07, 08:10 PM	Hey look at this statue! Its not a golem... OMDG its made out of adementite! Lets milt it down and get some nice full plate armor! Subject: Dice Player 1: Ok, I cast Chain Missile at it. Where are my d4's? Player 2: In the kitchen. Player 1: Ok, hold on. OW MY FOOT! Next topic: Tazers. And the monkies who weild them.
Heroic_Ezekial 11-22-07, 10:20 PM	Higanu the Troll(speaking in giant):I TOLD YOU 10000 freaking times I don't speak common! it's like you're deaf or sumthin! Ezekial The Palidin: Eh, whats he sayin? Chicken: I dunno, but trolls are reckless and MIGHT destroy sumthin. Hit im with the lightnin stick Zeke. Higanu(eyeing the short metal rod, speaking in a small voice): Where does that go? Next Topic: Mind Flayers (This is easy so please Dazzle me.)
metalmayhem80110 11-23-07, 06:59 PM	It's ok, my god will protect me!!! (I was a cleric who did this, and than got insta killed....)
Makuya 11-23-07, 07:22 PM	They forgot the topic. Topic: Player tries to exploit rules but DM notices!
Barticus 11-26-07, 09:54 AM	Undead party member vs cleric party member. Cleric: I turn undead. Warlock (undead): Wait what??
RobbyPants 11-26-07, 11:53 AM	Topic: Player tries to exploit rules but DM notices! Player: I rolled a 46 Init! DM: How!?! Your Dex mod is +6, and with Improved Initiative, that gets you to +10. The max you could have rolled is 30. What else do you have that gives you an extra +16?!? Player: ... evasion? DM: The pit fiend goes first. *rolls* What's your AC? - sadly, that actually happened in a game I played in. One player actually claimed a 46 on his initiative. :nonono: There's cheating and there's cheating. At least keep the total within the physical bounds of the dice! :P Next topic: Avernus - the first layer of Baator
DonThelonious 11-26-07, 03:17 PM	Avernus- The first layer of Baator: Freckles the super-naive demi-god of cuddles: "It was so nice I think I might make a summer home there..." Avernus was the one that was a lot like the material world right? If not then it would go like this: Freckles the super-naive demi-god of cuddles: "Avernus! What a lovely name, that sounds wonderfu... AAAARRRGGGGG I was wrong! I was horribly, horribly wrong!!!!" Next topic: Hewards Handy Haversack
RobbyPants 11-26-07, 03:31 PM	Next topic: Hewards Handy Haversack Gods I love this thing! Lighter than a bag of holding, and I can still cram it full of all sorts of goodies: torches, rope, flint & steel, loot from the cultists, portable hole... * Space-time rip!!! * Next Topic: Tiamat
Dougan Axehammer 11-26-07, 04:25 PM	"Hey look!! It's Bahamut's b****!!!" Topic: Bahamut
DonThelonious 11-26-07, 06:39 PM	Bahamut: "Aren't you Tiamats pimp?" OR "Isn't Tiamat your dominatrix?" Next Topic: Rowdy Children
hitorijun 11-26-07, 06:57 PM	Next Topic: Rowdy Children "hey put that down! No don't mess with that! Don't push that button!!!" Topic: goblins
BarivusTheFearless 11-26-07, 07:30 PM	"hey put that down! No don't mess with that! Don't push that button!!!" Topic: goblins WOAH! How much did I drink last night? NEXT TOPIC: Goldilocks
Narf_the_Mouse 11-26-07, 07:38 PM	"I don't have to run faster than the bears, I just have to run faster than a scared little girl." Next topic: Cowardly vampires
my_appendix_blew_up 11-26-07, 07:55 PM	CN Rogue: "Hehe, look at those sniveling pansies hiding in the corner, i should pick pocket them one by one!" next topic: 23 and a half goblins
Tanel 11-26-07, 08:45 PM	I've got 1/2 my HP yet and one of those goblins is cut in half. I can take 'em on!.......................... Next Topic: River Crossing
BarivusTheFearless 11-26-07, 11:11 PM	I've got 1/2 my HP yet and one of those goblins is cut in half. I can take 'em on!.......................... Next Topic: River Crossing PC: "I dont care if it's deep, i'll just cast my water walking spell... DM: you're a fighter PC: Swim? DM: Roll? PC: 1... NEXT TOPIC: Doulbe-mint Gum
RobbyPants 11-27-07, 01:59 PM	NEXT TOPIC: Doulbe-mint Gum Mmmmmmmm. Double my pleasure! Whoah! Two green dragons!!! :eek: Next Topic: Half-ogre hulking hurler warhulk with a big lead ball
BarivusTheFearless 11-27-07, 02:13 PM	Hey! Ugly! Yeah you! Wanna play a game of catch? NEXT TOPIC: Albino drow(s).
RobbyPants 11-27-07, 02:35 PM	NEXT TOPIC: Albino drow(s). Man, this Underdark is a creepy and dangerous place. Hey, look! An elf, down here, underground! Hey, you wanna travel with us to keep safe? You take first watch while we all sleep. I hear there are drow nearby. Be careful! Next topic: Chuck Norris round house
BarivusTheFearless 11-27-07, 03:10 PM	Next topic: Chuck Norris round house Yo, Chuck! Looks like there's a fist hiding in your beard...*BAM* NEXT TOPIC: underpants
ff6shadow 11-27-07, 03:33 PM	"Yes, Chuck also has a fist hideen in his underpants. No you don't want to ask him about." One stupid PC with a stupid question later finds himself roundhoused out of the atmosphere. Topic: Angry Red Dragons
BarivusTheFearless 11-27-07, 05:23 PM	"Yes, Chuck also has a fist hideen in his underpants. No you don't want to ask him about." One stupid PC with a stupid question later finds himself roundhoused out of the atmosphere. Topic: Angry Red Dragons I'd say he's more of a Tibetan mauve... NEXT TOPIC: A rock lobster. (the one from the B52s song)
Tanel 11-27-07, 08:57 PM	"I'm going dive into the water next to that brown rock for my ear so the priests can put it back on. What? Don't worry about all the blood that went into the water during the battle. I don't think it'll attract anything this close to shore." Next Topic: Trying to be "Ye olde Joe Cool."
BarivusTheFearless 11-27-07, 11:28 PM	"I'm going dive into the water next to that brown rock for my ear so the priests can put it back on. What? Don't worry about all the blood that went into the water during the battle. I don't think it'll attract anything this close to shore." Next Topic: Trying to be "Ye olde Joe Cool." What? go listen to the song again lol
Dusken 11-28-07, 01:21 PM	"I'm going dive into the water next to that brown rock for my ear so the priests can put it back on. What? Don't worry about all the blood that went into the water during the battle. I don't think it'll attract anything this close to shore." Next Topic: Trying to be "Ye olde Joe Cool." Who needs full plate when I have shades and a black leather jacket? Next Topic: On a date with the BBEG of the opposite sex
Jarsallen 11-28-07, 01:59 PM	Next Topic: On a date with the BBEG of the opposite sex What do you mean "there's no 'safe word'?" Next Topic- Kender
lordoftea 11-28-07, 02:34 PM	quickly! throw in the coin of Ultimate shiness(tm) in the Very Warm Pit of Hell to destroy the lich! topic: the four riders of the apocralypse, getting drunk in a bar
RobbyPants 11-28-07, 03:19 PM	topic: the four riders of the apocralypse, getting drunk in a bar Hey, see those four guys at the bar? They're totally wasted and distracted! Lets go steal their horses! What's the worst they can do to us? Next Topic: A flaming, exploding, electric, acid potion with contact poison on the cork stopper
BarivusTheFearless 11-28-07, 03:48 PM	Next Topic: A flaming, exploding, electric, acid potion with contact poison on the cork stopper Hey, Steve! CATCH! *throw* NEXT TOPIC: Big Bertha the half-orc bartender
lordoftea 11-28-07, 05:47 PM	"hey, dude, wanna go up and bang that gnome chick?" next topic a nice flower
BarivusTheFearless 11-28-07, 05:54 PM	"hey, dude, wanna go up and bang that gnome chick?" LMFAO well played, well played
Makuya 11-28-07, 07:02 PM	"hey, dude, wanna go up and bang that gnome chick?" next topic a nice flower "Look what I found!" *sniffs the black lotus, fails save* Next: Gelatin snack(as in Jell-O) golem
BarivusTheFearless 11-28-07, 08:26 PM	ITS ALIVE!!! NEXT TOPIC: a mexican jumping bean
TheFrohmen 11-28-07, 11:35 PM	Party camping next to an giant cliff Fighter: :) "Ahh, those were excelent beans!" Rouge (cook): :bow: "Thx, made them mysel-" Wizard: :confused: "Has anyone seen my bag of new enchanted beans I got? They will start jumping after 10 minutes if you put them in water." Fighter: :eek: :eek: :eek: Fighter starts shaking and is thrown off the cliff Fighter::help: Rouge and Wizard look off cliff side Wizard: :mymy: Rouge: :censored: "SOB, he had my admiminate dagger and invisibility potion." Rouge: :raincloud: "Well, one less mouth to feed." --- Next Topic: Half-Orc female seducing travelers.
Dougan Axehammer 11-28-07, 11:42 PM	Next Topic: Half-Orc female seducing travelers. "Why no sir, I really don't want to get to know you better." Next topic: Fine Young Cannibals
PerennialRook 11-29-07, 12:00 AM	"What's weird is that these fine young native porters practically volunteered to guide us through this high mountain pass." Next topic: Hellfire kittens.
Nadaka 11-29-07, 12:13 AM	"What's weird is that these fine young native porters practically volunteered to guide us through this high mountain pass." Next topic: Hellfire kittens. "Say hello to my my little friend!" Al Pacino http://www.nadaka.us/AKittie.gif "And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Friedrich Nietzsche http://www.nadaka.us/hcani.gif Note: I have a rather large collection of odd kittie pictures... Next up: sugar, spice and everything nice.
Dougan Axehammer 11-29-07, 03:27 PM	"What's weird is that these fine young native porters practically volunteered to guide us through this high mountain pass."[QUOTE] Actually, I meant the band. [quote]Next up: sugar, spice, and everything nice "Hey look!!! It's the Powderpuff Girls!!" Next topic: Fine Young Cannibals (the band, not the people :) )
PerennialRook 11-29-07, 07:49 PM	"What's weird is that the Fine Young Cannibals practically volunteered to guide us through this high mountain pass." Next topic: Tuskbay
Always1stToDie 11-29-07, 08:27 PM	Next topic: Tuskbay <Legions of drowned undead shuffle up from the waves towards the PCs.> Ember to Lidda: "You... IDIOT! I said: "Take us to Krusk, kay?" Not: "Take us to Tusk Bay!" Lidda: "Oh, right... an' I suppose it's also my fault you have an accent?" Next Topic: A husband named "Lug".
BarivusTheFearless 11-29-07, 08:29 PM	"What's weird is that the Fine Young Cannibals practically volunteered to guide us through this high mountain pass." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :cookie:
Tanel 11-29-07, 09:43 PM	<Legions of drowned undead shuffle up from the waves towards the PCs.> Ember to Lidda: "You... IDIOT! I said: "Take us to Krusk, kay?" Not: "Take us to Tusk Bay!" Lidda: "Oh, right... an' I suppose it's also my fault you have an accent?" Next Topic: A husband named "Lug". 1st, from the movie: *Lug* "Not a woman!?!?!" *Mad Martigan to guards* "Gentlemen," *Lug* "NOT A WOMAN!!!!!" *Mad Martigan* "Meet Lug." *duck with some serious Lug-age laid on the guards* 2nd, to the post: "I'm not worried. She said her husband was a lug. How serious about her could he be?" Next Topic: Fuzzy rodents
Dougan Axehammer 11-30-07, 02:07 PM	"What's weird is that the Fine Young Cannibals practically volunteered to guide us through this high mountain pass." :mad: Very funny. :P Next topic: Tuskbay This was probably just as obvious as Fine Young Cannibals, oh well. :) How about: "Commodore, those kobolds are friendly!" Actual topic: fuzzy rodents "Tribbles! How cute!!" Next topic: Boy bands (e.g. N'Sync, New Kids, etc.)
Always1stToDie 11-30-07, 07:02 PM	Next topic: Boy bands (e.g. N'Sync, New Kids, etc.) Tordek: "Hey uhh Jozan... why does Lance Bass keep staring at my ass and licking his lips?" DM: "Roll Initiative." Next Topic: Red Hot Wolf Nipple Chips
BarivusTheFearless 12-02-07, 08:42 PM	Tordek: "Hey uhh Jozan... why does Lance Bass keep staring at my ass and licking his lips?" DM: "Roll Initiative." Next Topic: Red Hot Wolf Nipple Chips OMG these are DELICIOUS!!! NEXT TOPIC: 1000 drunken hobbits
mathew99 12-03-07, 02:42 AM	"FIREWORKS FIGHT!!!" next topic: Legacy weapons that you don't know that are legacy weapons yet.
Voran 12-03-07, 03:05 AM	To DM: Dude, your mom is hawt.
RobbyPants 12-03-07, 10:41 AM	next topic: Legacy weapons that you don't know that are legacy weapons yet. Hey, I have a splinter. Hand me that ordinar looking dagger we just found so I can dig it out. * Foom! * Next Topic: Saber-toothed pandas
Makuya 12-03-07, 11:33 AM	Next Topic: Saber-toothed pandas "Hey! Don't worry, they're vegitari-*scream of agony*" Next topic: Failed skill check!
RobbyPants 12-03-07, 12:08 PM	Next topic: Failed skill check! Wow! That's a deep pit! Still, it's only 10 feet across. I can make that eaisly! * player rolls a 3 * :eek: Next Topic: gelatinous sphere
Belkar 12-03-07, 12:09 PM	Next topic: Failed skill check! "First thing you gotta learn about being a rogue, kid - is to follow the example of your betters!! You think I got to be leader of the guild overnight? It took twenty years of hard work and countless hours of practice in life-threatening situations to perfect my flawless technique! Watch how easily I disarm this trap laced with a symbol of pain and horrifying death... See? I - uh oh..." Next Topic: Being Flat-Footed.
lordoftea 12-03-07, 12:25 PM	there's the covenant of rogues! I'm going to jump down from the roof with a flourish and land right between them, taking' m by surprise! *slip* urang-utang librarians in L-space
Immortal-Badger 12-03-07, 04:42 PM	"huh ? where am i now ? I m still in the same library, but the really high bookshelfs stretch endlessly ... what was that noise from above ? sounded like hideous laughter and ... cracking wood ?" new topic: Badger in Rage !!!
RobbyPants 12-03-07, 05:01 PM	new topic: Badger in Rage !!! Don't worry. It's small, so it's got, like, -4 on its grapple checks. This will be a piece of cake! Next Topic: Panther Boxing!
Dougan Axehammer 12-03-07, 05:47 PM	Wow! That's a deep pit! Still, it's only 10 feet across. I can make that eaisly! * player rolls a 3 * :eek: Next Topic: gelatinous sphere "First thing you gotta learn about being a rogue, kid - is to follow the example of your betters!! You think I got to be leader of the guild overnight? It took twenty years of hard work and countless hours of practice in life-threatening situations to perfect my flawless technique! Watch how easily I disarm this trap laced with a symbol of pain and horrifying death... See? I - uh oh..." Next Topic: Being Flat-Footed there's the covenant of rogues! I'm going to jump down from the roof with a flourish and land right between them, taking' m by surprise! *slip* [next topic:] urang-utang librarians in L-space And this is why you should never trust rogues: always getting in someone's way (including their own.) :D Missed topics: -Gelatinous sphere: "Phhsh! Nonsense, gelatinous cubes are square. This is just a bubble!" -Being flat-footed: "Heh, I'm not moving ANYWHERE!" Current topic: Panther boxing
Tanel 12-03-07, 10:38 PM	*Ranger* "Don't worry. This trap I built will not only lure that demon-possessed panther here, it'll box it up at the same time! I'm the best trapper around!" Next Topic: Jesters
BarivusTheFearless 12-03-07, 10:39 PM	Panther boxing Ok... break it up you two... that's enou... AAAGGGGHHHHH NEXT TOPIC: wet tshirt contest gone awry
Mithral Icesilver 12-04-07, 07:56 AM	*Ranger* "Don't worry. This trap I built will not only lure that demon-possessed panther here, it'll box it up at the same time! I'm the best trapper around!" Next Topic: Jesters "Come on! How can you call yourself a jester if you don't throw pies? Aaagh!" "Didn't know they made acid pies." NEXT TOPIC: wet tshirt contest gone awry
RobbyPants 12-04-07, 11:23 AM	NEXT TOPIC: wet tshirt contest gone awry Alright! Let's get this party started ladies! Oh no! The water's boiling! You're not supposed to use boiling water!!! Next Topic: Commoners with pitchforks, torches, and some poorly-informed opinion.
Dusken 12-04-07, 01:40 PM	Listen, I'm not saying that my friend is possessed, just that he has a funny shaped birthmark... Next Topic: Setting up a campsite in a dark forest inhabited by unfriendly treants
Makuya 12-04-07, 01:49 PM	Setting up a campsite in a dark forest inhabited by unfriendly treants Let me look... just a buncha trees, nothing to worry about. *they fall asleep, and are smashed in their sleep* Next topic: None (free-form)
RobbyPants 12-04-07, 02:40 PM	Next topic: None (free-form) Not the face! Not the face!!! (My original post before I read the OP :P). Next Topic: Divine Metamagic using cleric.
ff6shadow 12-04-07, 11:58 PM	'Cleric identifies spell being cast' What does Mage's Disjunction do? Topic: Ninja Pirate Robots
DonThelonious 12-05-07, 01:41 AM	Ninje Pirate Robots: "Impossible! It must be an illusion. I choose to disbelie*splurch*..." Next topic: Rum
bobotheguy 12-05-07, 02:15 AM	*dragon spits up hook* "Oh come on, hes only got a little captain in him" Topic: Centaurs
DracoPhoenix 12-05-07, 02:44 AM	*dragon spits up hook* "Oh come on, hes only got a little captain in him" Topic: Centaurs So you'd be the exception to hung like *dies* Next Topic : tax collector
ptj2500 12-05-07, 08:40 AM	hey archmage i shall have half your goods for this year of tax... why do you mummble and wave your hands? next topic: half ogres half dragons barbarians
RobbyPants 12-05-07, 10:48 AM	next topic: half ogres half dragons barbarians Ugly and stupid! Bad combination. Next Topic: half unicorn half dragon paladins.
Makuya 12-05-07, 11:21 AM	Next Topic: half unicorn half dragon paladins. "Did you become a paladin because you don't want others to be raped like your daddy was?" Topic: Player cast the wrong spell.
RobbyPants 12-05-07, 12:12 PM	"Did you become a paladin because you don't want others to be raped like your daddy was?" I'm glad I swallowed my coffee right before reading that. Wow! Topic: Player cast the wrong spell. Feather Fall, not Feather Wall!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Next Topic: Trolls that are immune to fire
ShaneWindby 12-05-07, 03:36 PM	I tell you. Just lob the alchemist fire on him and he will be done with. Next Topic: Hydra with headaches
RobbyPants 12-05-07, 05:21 PM	Next Topic: Hydra with headaches It's fine. He's just got twelve headaches. I'll give each head two asprine and we'll be fine. Next Topic: chainmail bikinis
Brand_X 12-05-07, 07:39 PM	It's fine. He's just got twelve headaches. I'll give each head two asprine and we'll be fine. Next Topic: chainmail bikinis "Man that bikini make her look so sexy. I wonder if she is my type. " Walks up to the Lady. "Hello honey, speak any common?" Next Topic: Dire Fiendish Purple Worms
BarivusTheFearless 12-05-07, 10:52 PM	"Man that bikini make her look so sexy. I wonder if she is my type. " Walks up to the Lady. "Hello honey, speak any common?" Next Topic: Dire Fiendish Purple Worms Ok you just get your hook like this and pick up a worm...ok like this one... then you put the work on the AAAHHHH MY THUMB!!! NEXT TOPIC: Mother-in-laws :P
Tanel 12-05-07, 11:18 PM	"Really babe, I'll love you forever! Now, you said your mom's name was 'Laath', 'Loth'???" Next Topic: Wrong weapon, wrong time.
DonThelonious 12-06-07, 01:24 AM	Wrong Weapon, Wrong Time: "Only a halfling would bring a dagger to a crossbow fight..." Next Topic: Squirrels
UrLord_Unbeliever 12-06-07, 06:40 AM	Wrong Weapon, Wrong Time: "Only a halfling would bring a dagger to a crossbow fight..." Next Topic: Squirrels "20d20+200 damage for a sling-shot acorn seems a little much to me but hey, you're the DM and it's your world..." topic: thonged ogre
ptj2500 12-06-07, 07:39 AM	hey i payed a half staff of power for a lovely women tonight so she must be hot topic:hell goat
DracoPhoenix 12-06-07, 07:44 AM	"20d20+200 damage for a sling-shot acorn seems a little much to me but hey, you're the DM and it's your world..." topic: thonged ogre *petrified* (no save) next topic : Dog ate your homework.
ptj2500 12-06-07, 11:18 AM	ms medusa my dog ate my homework please dont petrify me like the 12 others that didnt have their homework topic: hell goat
DracoPhoenix 12-06-07, 11:22 AM	ms medusa my dog ate my homework please dont petrify me like the 12 others that didnt have their homework topic: hell goat *pulling at piece of paper in hell goats mouth* Bad billy goat. Bad. next topic : Pun Pun's spoilt kid brother.
DonThelonious 12-07-07, 06:06 AM	Pun-Puns Spoiled kid brother: "Mom loves me the best!" Next Topic: Butt Floss
BarivusTheFearless 12-07-07, 05:21 PM	Next Topic: Butt Floss Hey look that chick ogre's thong kinda looks like butt floss hehe ...Hand me those binoculars? NEXT TOPIC: Skeletor
Dougan Axehammer 12-07-07, 05:23 PM	"By the power of Grey- " (you know this really should have been Skeletor's plan from the beginning. :P ) Topic: Megatron
BarivusTheFearless 12-07-07, 05:36 PM	Stupid warforged alien bizna... *STOMPED* NEXT: Bob the Builder
Dougan Axehammer 12-07-07, 05:39 PM	NEXT: Bob the Builder "He can't build it, no he can't!" Since there's a theme :P : Dora the Explorer
BarivusTheFearless 12-07-07, 05:50 PM	"He can't build it, no he can't!" Since there's a theme :P : Dora the Explorer "Swiper, No swiping!" *Swiper makes rolls sneak attack for 20* (I apologize to any fans of Dora.) OR, "Help me count, 1 2 3..." *failed knowledge check* :P NEXT TOPIC: A scythe.
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-07-07, 11:48 PM	NEXT TOPIC: A scythe. I knew I shouldn't have made a grain golem Next topic: bad DM's
Sinfire Titan 12-08-07, 12:36 AM	I knew I shouldn't have made a grain golem Next topic: bad DM's "No Al, Reserve Feats are not broken. Your swashbuckling, 14th level urban druid who neglected to take Natural Spell as a feat and never summoned an Urban companion is just weak." Actual argument. Topic: Class features that should have been feats.
ryanlycaon 12-08-07, 11:15 AM	OUCH!!!!! :D
Tanel 12-08-07, 12:04 PM	"No Al, Reserve Feats are not broken. Your swashbuckling, 14th level urban druid who neglected to take Natural Spell as a feat and never summoned an Urban companion is just weak." Actual argument. Topic: Class features that should have been feats. *DM* "No, Tanel. Your a Half-ELf Rogue/Fighter and DO NOT gain the benifits of Drink Like a Demon. No bonus to STR. No bonus to CON. You're just drunk." *Me* "I quaff 2 pints and attack the Uber-looking half-ogre!" Nex Topic: Taverns
The_Rouge 12-08-07, 05:01 PM	*player to DM* I get drunk. What do you mean i cant control myself? What do you mean i fight the dragon? topic: Pun-puns Childhood
DonThelonious 12-09-07, 01:42 AM	Pun-Puns Childhood: "No Pun-Pun your... to small. not strong enough. not tall enough. not pretty enough. not healthy enough. not going to make anything of yourself other than another kobold on the end of an adventurers sword..." Next Topic: Spongebob Squarepants:P
trent12345409 12-09-07, 02:39 AM	Pun-Puns Childhood: "No Pun-Pun your... to small. not strong enough. not tall enough. not pretty enough. not healthy enough. not going to make anything of yourself other than another kobold on the end of an adventurers sword..." Next Topic: Spongebob Squarepants:P "I'll jsut use that yellow thing to mop up the blood" next topic: D&D Rulebooks
Sinfire Titan 12-09-07, 09:31 AM	"I'll jsut use that yellow thing to mop up the blood" next topic: D&D Rulebooks "You know why they call them splatbooks? They don't splat very well..." Next topic: OOtS.
DonThelonious 12-10-07, 06:56 AM	OOtS: "We're sneaking... we are sneeeeaaaaaking. We're sneeking past the dragon. Sneak sneak, sneak sneak, sneak sneak, sneak sneak sneak sneak, sneak sneak, sneaksneeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaking..." Try and sing it:D Next Topic: Cross Dressing Trolls
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-10-07, 06:21 PM	OOtS: "We're sneaking... we are sneeeeaaaaaking. We're sneeking past the dragon. Sneak sneak, sneak sneak, sneak sneak, sneak sneak sneak sneak, sneak sneak, sneaksneeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaking..." Try and sing it:D Next Topic: Cross Dressing Trolls Rogue: I think there are a couple of trolls on the other side. Fighter: No problem!(Kicks door open) AUGHHH!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!! Next topic: polymorphing
BarivusTheFearless 12-10-07, 08:12 PM	Next topic: polymorphing "Of course I can polymorph... See, I have a scroll..." "Uh, dude what's with the smudge... kinda looks like more was written there..." "Oh, don't worry... see I'll just start reading... you tell me what I morph into..." NEXT TOPIC: Walker. Texas Ranger.
JimProfit 12-10-07, 10:17 PM	Me if I didn't know better: A ranger?! Pthffft! How hard can he be?! I mean, it's not like he's Chuck Norris or something! Next Topic: Lavawight (why do I love them so?)
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-11-07, 05:23 PM	Me if I didn't know better: A ranger?! Pthffft! How hard can he be?! I mean, it's not like he's Chuck Norris or something! Next Topic: Lavawight (why do I love them so?) Cleric:Don't worry, I have a holy mace. Cleric:AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!! THAT HURT!!!!! Loremaster:Maybe next time the cleric will let me finish telling the party about the monster. Next subject: failed knowledge checks
BarivusTheFearless 12-11-07, 06:57 PM	Next subject[/U]: failed knowledge checks "But I want to know what I'm fighting... ONE!!! WTF!" DM: "You have knowledge that it seems quite large and it's charging you." "But what does it look like??" DM: "You can tell it's red." "What is big and red...?" :P NEXT TOPIC: Pina coladas
Tanel 12-12-07, 09:24 AM	*Yelled before the crowding masses after slaying their (evil) religious leader* "Veni, Vidi, Pina Coladas!" (I came, I saw, I had foo-foo drinks!) Next Topic: Bridge Crossing
RobbyPants 12-12-07, 11:28 AM	Next Topic: Bridge Crossing Okay, group! Let's charge the illusionist on the other side of that bridge! Next Topic: plague rats.
Belkar 12-12-07, 11:45 AM	Next Topic: Plague Rats "Man, these things sure are tasty! [cough, cough]" "Yeah, [cough, cough, cough] I know what you mean!" Next Topic: My girlfriend is a Lich.
RobbyPants 12-12-07, 12:05 PM	Next Topic: My girlfriend is a Lich. Baby, you're so amazing. Everytime you touch me, you take me breath, and ability to move, away. Next Topic: Goblins with skateboards and heavy flails.
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-12-07, 05:09 PM	Baby, you're so amazing. Everytime you touch me, you take me breath, and ability to move, away. Next Topic: Goblins with skateboards and heavy flails. Hey, What are those thi- Last words of many an unfortunate adventurer next topic: front line wizards
DonThelonious 12-12-07, 09:47 PM	Front Line Wizards: "I will charge the little guy swinging the stick..." Next Topic: Funky Chicken
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-12-07, 09:55 PM	Front Line Wizards: "I will charge the little guy swinging the stick..." Next Topic: Funky Chicken Ranger: That was one hard fight Cleric: You're telling me! It was... Hey Enilix look behind you. Ranger: What do you mea- WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THE PSYCO ANIMAL COMPANION!!!! Next topic: New spells
Tanel 12-12-07, 10:54 PM	*Mage* "Hey guys, don't worry about that group of trolls. Check out the new spell I picked up from that discount magic store." Next Topic: Trying to cure the incurable
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-13-07, 04:34 PM	*Mage* "Hey guys, don't worry about that group of trolls. Check out the new spell I picked up from that discount magic store." Next Topic: Trying to cure the incurable Cleric: Ok what happened to this guy? Bard: He got barbequed by a dragon, stepped on by a frost giant, contracted Lyconthropy, Mummy rot, Chicken Pox and was hypnotized to believe he is a gnat. Cleric: No problem, I have a new wand of cure light wounds! Next topic: vegetarian barbarians
Dusken 12-14-07, 11:45 AM	Vegetarian Barbarians: That's incredibly lame. What do you do hope to be when you grow up, a Frenzied Vegan? Or Think they might be interested in this suit of hide +2? Topic: Loving animal companions
kurieguru 12-14-07, 11:58 AM	Vegetarian Barbarians: That's incredibly lame. What do you do hope to be when you grow up, a Frenzied Vegan? Or Think they might be interested in this suit of hide +2? Topic: Loving animal companions "No! No! you're not a puppy anymore! you're a dire wolf with animal growth on you! You can't sit in my La-" Next: Gate Spells
ShaneWindby 12-14-07, 12:26 PM	Wizard: Don´t worry. The gate will not collaps soon. Next Topic: Kobold traps
camthalion 12-14-07, 01:25 PM	Next Topic: Kobold traps Kannon Fodder: Okay guys, listen up and look here. This is a KOBOLD lair. And the thing ya wanna understand about KOBOLDS is they like to set traps but they aren't very smart. Take that there string for instance. They put that to trip us but it's too flimsy. Watch, ... I can walk right through ... [SNAP - PERTUNNNNNNG! - SMUNCH]. Next topic: classes excluded from the new 'Races and Classes' book.
ShaneWindby 12-15-07, 04:33 PM	Next topic: classes excluded from the new 'Races and Classes' book. Are we feeling stupid for choosing that uber-class and getting droped from the game ? Next topic: Force Missile Mage
Brendal 12-16-07, 12:14 AM	Wizard: I know for a fact it will hit the troll, but I can only think of that look the bartender had on his face... (releases magic missle and kills bartender) next topic: Shy Bards
Mithral Icesilver 12-16-07, 10:17 AM	Wizard: I know for a fact it will hit the troll, but I can only think of that look the bartender had on his face... (releases magic missle and kills bartender) next topic: Shy Bards How do you expect to inspire courage when no one can hear you? Next topic: Darkwing Duck
BarivusTheFearless 12-16-07, 11:23 AM	Next topic: Darkwing Duck Hey let's loot this town, I heard the only thing protecting these lands is some stupid mallard... NEXT TOPIC: Elmer Fudd
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-16-07, 03:00 PM	Hey let's loot this town, I heard the only thing protecting these lands is some stupid mallard... NEXT TOPIC: Elmer Fudd Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting rabbi- Druid There he is, GET HIM!!!!! Next topic: Bad roleplayers
Dougan Axehammer 12-16-07, 05:19 PM	Sage wizard: "I charge him." Topic: Christmas
DracoPhoenix 12-17-07, 10:08 AM	Sage wizard: "I charge him." Topic: Christmas Fighter : Hey, There's Santa, let's sleigh him! Get it? I sa... *Arrow in neck from pretty much everyone.* Next Topic : Incredibly mundane carrot cake, sitting innocently on a pedestal in the middle of an otherwise empty room.
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-17-07, 12:55 PM	Fighter : Hey, There's Santa, let's sleigh him! Get it? I sa... *Arrow in neck from pretty much everyone.* Next Topic : Incredibly mundane carrot cake, sitting innocently on a pedestal in the middle of an otherwise empty room. Fighter: you better check for traps. Wizard: Good Idea, (casts spell) nope nothing. Fighter: I was talking to the rogue. Wizard: Oh Rogue: Nope nothing Wizard I told you! Fighter Well check again! (5 hours later) Fighter: Check again! There's no way anyone would leave such a powerful item unguarded! Next topic: succesfull bluff checks
Druid_Skara 12-17-07, 01:32 PM	Dude, look behind you! By the Abyss isn't that Asmodeus himself polymorphed into a squirrel! Golly if you don't chase him off he'll eat your very own nuts! Next topic: Erinyes fighting Succubi
Dougan Axehammer 12-17-07, 01:50 PM	Next topic: Erinyes fighting Succubi *gets popcorn* Next topic: Unemployment
Belkar 12-17-07, 01:51 PM	Next topic: Erinyes fighting Succubi Fighter: "Dude... heh... look at 'em go! Hand me the popcorn..." Rogue: "Man... just... yeah... this is so hot. Who's idea was it to add the warm mud?" Wizard: "Mine." Fighter: "Dude... just... wow... Nice!" Rogue: "WOO HOO!! You go, baby! Bring some 'o that action my way...!" Next Topic: Medusa Beauty Pageant
SpudMaster 12-17-07, 02:03 PM	"now we kept the lights of for obvious reasons so I'm gonna go ahead and award it to whomever is standing furthest stage left " next topic - small woodland critters
Dougan Axehammer 12-17-07, 02:14 PM	"Aaugh, squirrels!!!" Topic: Unemployment
RobbyPants 12-17-07, 04:11 PM	Topic: Unemployment "Get a job!" *Who knew he was high level?* Next Topic: Beer catapult.
SpudMaster 12-17-07, 04:23 PM	*Elf ranger* Incoming! *dwarf fighter - valiantly leaping in front of his comrades mouth open* Next Topic - Potion of Cure serious wounds.
Belkar 12-17-07, 04:33 PM	Next Topic - Potion of Cure serious wounds. Vampire #1: "What's in the bottle, Phil?" Vampire #2: "Not sure, Bob... it looks like blood!" Vampire #1: "Oooh, let's drink it!!" Next Topic: 2nd Edition Love.
Dusken 12-17-07, 05:29 PM	Topic: Second Edition Love (female) I'll seduce the bartender for a free drink...what? Non-weapon proficiency Etiquette? Next Topic: Seeing the GM pull out a Grimtooth book
Dougan Axehammer 12-17-07, 11:51 PM	"I check for-" *BOOOM* Topic: cookies
Tanel 12-18-07, 09:28 AM	*Wiz* "Man, these are good cookies! What did you say they were again?" *Ranger(baker)* "I found the recipie in that old mansion we investigated. It's called, 'Lotus Suprise'."................................ Next Topic: Transportation
SpudMaster 12-18-07, 10:47 AM	Fighter - are you sure you know where your going? Its a pretty big castle how can you just make us appear in the grand hall? Wizard - teleportation you oaf - I've seen a painting off it, how hard could it be *15 shunts later = one dead wizard and a badly bruised up fighter finally appear from the ground 5 miles north west of the castle* Next Topic - Wyrmling brass dragon
Dusken 12-18-07, 11:31 AM	Topic: Wyrmling Brass Dragon Meh, it's still young. I got this one guys... Next Topic: Forgotten Realms Fan Fiction
SpudMaster 12-18-07, 12:20 PM	Next Topic: Forgotten Realms Fan Fiction Hrm.. this seems interesting Next Topic - jar of marmalade
RobbyPants 12-18-07, 12:53 PM	Next Topic - jar of marmalade "What an odd trap. A jar of marmalade spilled on me and a ringing bell. Hey, a bear's coming to investigate. No worries. Everyone knows bears love honey and not marmalade. What the? The bear's wearing a hat and a coat..." :cookie: for the reference Next Topic: Orcish shotput.
SpudMaster 12-18-07, 01:17 PM	Topic Orcish Shotput ( Elf looking at a Half Orc in the town square ) Elf - What a disgusting creature Half-Orc - you be nice! Me not like regular Orc Elf - of course you are - big, ugly, and worst of all is your terrible odor (if your confused on how this relates to the elf's untimely demise see the link) http://www.enworld.org/archive/index.php/t-54202.html Next Topic - Old fat guy in a Red Suit
DracoPhoenix 12-18-07, 01:52 PM	Next Topic - Old fat guy in a Red Suit Fighter : Hey, There's Santa, let's sleigh him! Get it? I sa... *Arrow in neck from pretty much everyone.* :) Uh, I mean: *BBEG* Ooow! Santa's been! Santa's been! I wonder what I got this year?! *Boom* *Grand Vizier* See, he really does know when you've been naughty or nice. (Never trust an ambitious second in command, there's only one job they can apply for) Next topic: A sinlge plum floating in a lake of rum, served in a gentleman's had. help yourself to a :cookie: for the ~reference :)
Dougan Axehammer 12-18-07, 05:13 PM	"What an odd trap. A jar of marmalade spilled on me and a ringing bell. Hey, a bear's coming to investigate. No worries. Everyone knows bears love honey and not marmalade. What the? The bear's wearing a hat and a coat..." :cookie: for the reference That's would be Paddington Bear (loved that show as a kid.) "Watch out for the umbrella!!!" Next topic: A sinlge plum floating in a lake of rum, served in a gentleman's had. help yourself to a :cookie: for the ~reference :) "My what a good boy am I..." (Did I get the reference?) Topic: Mauser
alexebling 12-18-07, 05:27 PM	"Hold my beer and watch this!!"
HairyDan 12-19-07, 11:39 AM	Hmm previous fellow forgot to post how to die so... Gnome to Kobold Clan: "Ha! My God destroyed your God's caverns, what are you gona do about it!" Next topic: 'A swarm of Chaotic evil Gnome Fighters'
Belkar 12-19-07, 12:14 PM	Next topic: 'A swarm of Chaotic evil Gnome Fighters' "Weeeeee represent... the lollypop guild! The lollypop guild! The lollypop guild! Weeee represent... the lollypop guiiiiiiiiiiiild.... and wish to welcome you to munchkin laaaaand....! GRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" Next Topic: Abnormal Wondrous Items
RobbyPants 12-19-07, 01:37 PM	That's would be Paddington Bear (loved that show as a kid.) "Watch out for the umbrella!!!" Here you go! :cookie: Next Topic: Abnormal Wondrous Items "Man, these Gauntlets of Ogre Power were dirt cheap! Wait a minute! Gauntlets of Ogre... Summoning!?!" Next Topic: Acid bubble bath
Sledgerosaur 12-19-07, 01:54 PM	Acid bubble bath Int 8 Rogue:Crud, I just dropped a gold peice in that stagnant water... let me just get it out, I won't be a second... next topic: Your mum
fudgethepolice 12-19-07, 07:52 PM	Im invincible!
BarivusTheFearless 12-20-07, 09:23 AM	next topic: Your mum No, mommy I swear I didn't take a cookie from the jar... *WHACK* NEXT TOPIC: The Force
Darth_Nyquil 12-20-07, 10:11 AM	(points at the beholder) "I betcha that sucker gets nerfed in 4e." :gah: :ghosted:
barb 12-20-07, 11:41 AM	No, mommy I swear I didn't take a cookie from the jar... *WHACK* NEXT TOPIC: The Force "The Force? couldn't you come up with something better? I mean that's like saying I'll kill you with my Power! Or: I'll use my Might on you!" next topic: flamewar/flamebait
Dusken 12-20-07, 01:15 PM	Topic: Flamewar/Flamebait Warlocks r teh uber! p0wn j000!!!11!!1!11111 Next Topic: Movie/Game characters as player characters
RobbyPants 12-20-07, 02:35 PM	Next Topic: Movie/Game characters as player characters Player: this level 1 elf fighter is Legolas! I'm going to go fight those thirty orcs! *PC shoots five orcs as they close in* DM: the orcs are in melee now. If you shoot, you'll provoke an AoO. Player: I'll stab the orcs with the arrows just like in the movie! Next Topic: Iron coffin
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-20-07, 04:22 PM	Player: this level 1 elf fighter is Legolas! I'm going to go fight those thirty orcs! *PC shoots five orcs as they close in* DM: the orcs are in melee now. If you shoot, you'll provoke an AoO. Player: I'll stab the orcs with the arrows just like in the movie! Next Topic: Iron coffin Uh Hey Guys... I'M STILL ALIVE!!!!!!! next topic:Traps you will never see
Olik 12-20-07, 04:29 PM	next topic:Traps you will never see "We gather here today in remembrance of Bob the rogue. It was a trap that he never saw, that did him in." next topic: AIDS
BarivusTheFearless 12-20-07, 08:32 PM	"We gather here today in remembrance of Bob the rogue. It was a trap that he never saw, that did him in." next topic: AIDS That's not in the least bit funny. I am reporting this to the WizOs
WizO_Kwai_Chang 12-20-07, 09:11 PM	That's not in the least bit funny. I am reporting this to the WizOs I've brought this thread to the attention of the Community Management team.
Dougan Axehammer 12-20-07, 09:29 PM	Well, until the CM team decides, I think we should just pick a new topic. So, new topic: Baseball
Mithral Icesilver 12-20-07, 09:31 PM	So, new topic: Baseball Come on, what can a skinny goblin with a club do to me? And what do you suppose bays-baal is in real language? Next topic: celery
Dougan Axehammer 12-20-07, 09:34 PM	Come on, what can a skinny goblin with a club do to me? And what do you suppose bays-baal is in real language? Next topic: celery "What could he do, stalk me?" Next topic: music
ShaneWindby 12-21-07, 06:50 AM	"What could he do, stalk me?" Next topic: music What can the bard do to me ? Killing me softly with his songs ? Next Topic: Xorn in a Goldmine
barb 12-21-07, 06:55 AM	Next Topic: Xorn in a Goldmine "Hell hath no fury like a Goldmine Xorned." Xorns are not known for their sense of humor. Next Topic: Witches
SpudMaster 12-21-07, 09:38 AM	Next Topic: Witches Old Women - You have been so kind dear *holds out a shiny red apple* this is for you. They are absolutely delicious. Next Topic * Turtles
Belkar 12-21-07, 09:51 AM	Next Topic * Turtles This is stupid! Four were-turtle monks wearing masks of different colors? Ridiculous! Ooooh, that one in orange has got nunchuks! Ha! Soooo scary...." Next Topic: Gelatinous Cube Shenanigans.
RobbyPants 12-21-07, 09:53 AM	Next Topic * Turtles *for fun, we'll assume the turtle is huge* :P "What the!?! The island started moving!" Edit: Ninja'ed! Next Topic: Gelatinous Cube Shenanigans. "Hey! I see something shiny at the bottom of the pit! I'm going to check it out!" Next Topic: grappling hook
Hellsbells 12-21-07, 09:54 AM	Wouldnt they be anthropo?
LVL10human 12-21-07, 10:41 AM	"HAHAHA you seriously saying that can kill us both?"
trappedslider 12-21-07, 10:50 AM	"Its jsut lime flavor Jell-o,whats the worst that could happen?" Next topic: Living dumpster
SpudMaster 12-21-07, 10:51 AM	Next Topic: grappling hook Hrm.. I don't know of the two above me answered this one so - Ted the angry rogue- You see the only way to catch a Dire shark is to a big piece of steak to one end of the rope and drop it in the water - Ralph the clueless Fighter - And once it bites I just pull it out of the water? Of course! I knew I was holding this hooked thing for a reason.... so how big is a dire shark anyway Ted? Ralph - Well.... Next Topic - Alchemist Fire to slow -
RobbyPants 12-21-07, 11:33 AM	Next Topic - Alchemist Fire "Quick! I'm supposed to be on stage right now! I need some juggeling balls! Give me those three orange ones over there!" Next Topic: Diamond mine
Belkar 12-21-07, 12:17 PM	Next Topic: Diamond mine "Ha, Bjorn, we's rich, I tells ye! Rich! No one even knows this mine is here! We'll be rich, rich, rich!! Huh? I don't know... ... ... What's a Xorn?" Next Topic: Irrational Halfing hatred of shoes.
DonThelonious 12-22-07, 08:58 AM	Irrational halfling hatred of shoes: Lilt the halfling rogue: "It's gonna EAT ME!!!!!" Chuck the Wizard: "No it won't. Chill out." Lilt: "Okay, I will trust you this once..." RAWR its a mimic! Next Topic: Living Dumpster
BarivusTheFearless 12-23-07, 11:27 AM	Next Topic: Living Dumpster Hey that guy just threw out some good food... *stomach grumble* I'll just go in and get it... NEXT TOPIC: A guy named Sally.
DonThelonious 12-24-07, 12:54 PM	A Guy Named Sally: "WOW! Your the ugliest woman I have ever seen! Was your mother an ogre?" Next Topic: Barbarian Gnomes
BarivusTheFearless 12-24-07, 02:10 PM	Next Topic: Barbarian Gnomes "AAWWW Isn't that cute.. and he thinks he's people! Playing with that ax..." NEXT TOPIC: A celestial kitten. :P
Zombie_Babies 12-24-07, 02:36 PM	"AAWWW Isn't that cute.. and he thinks he's people! Playing with that ax..." NEXT TOPIC: A celestial kitten. :P "Since when is wildshaping into a fiendish mouse a bad idea??" NEXT TOPIC: Zombie Babies! :)
Dougan Axehammer 12-24-07, 06:42 PM	"Th..th.. they're breeding?!?" Topic: Mithrandir
The_Onyx_Knight 12-24-07, 07:01 PM	"Bah, he's just a Monk! Not like he's a real fighter! No armor or weapons! Next topic: Blood Crusaders
BarivusTheFearless 12-26-07, 04:15 PM	Next topic: Blood Crusaders Ha! Such a silly name for your group... Are you guys like a band or something? NEXT TOPIC: Flood pants. :cool:
Zombie_Babies 12-26-07, 04:24 PM	Ha! Such a silly name for your group... Are you guys like a band or something? NEXT TOPIC: Flood pants. :cool: "Whaddaya mean they don't make capris for guys?? That's it! It's so on now!" NEXT TOPIC: Lost Socks
BarivusTheFearless 12-26-07, 10:15 PM	NEXT TOPIC: Lost Socks "I bet it's in the back ofthe dryer... i'll just climb in and check..." *Tumble dry low* :P NEXT TOPIC: UNENCHANTED Mirrors.
Dougan Axehammer 12-27-07, 04:17 AM	NEXT TOPIC: UNENCHANTED Mirrors. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who's the fairest of them all?" "..." "Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who's the fairest of them all?" "..." "MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL; WHO'S THE FAIREST OF THEM ALL?!?" :rolleyes: "Yeah, yeah, don't get yer knickers in a twist. You ask me that question every day and it's always the same answer. Not that you want to hear any other, but what the hay. You are most definitely, positively, the most attractive person ever, blah, blah, blah..." Topic: Seven dwarves
hitorijun 12-27-07, 10:03 AM	Topic: Seven dwarves Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Its off to the dungeon we go! Topic: Farm animals
Zombie_Babies 12-27-07, 01:34 PM	Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Its off to the dungeon we go! Topic: Farm animals "So yer sure raising dire sheep won't attract any o' them dire wolves, right?" NEXT TOPIC: Orcish Girly Mags
Braydz 12-27-07, 04:44 PM	"Hey, Krunk, isn't this your mom?" Topic: Metallic Dragon
trappedslider 12-27-07, 05:24 PM	Topic: Metallic Dragon "ohhh shiny" Next topic : christmas tree
Dougan Axehammer 12-28-07, 02:37 AM	"ohhh shiny" Next topic : christmas tree "Kringus?!? The prophecies are true!!" ( :cookie: for reference.) Topic: Itchy and Scratchy
Cowczar 12-28-07, 06:54 AM	Topic: Itchy and Scratchy Wizard: No, in fact, Fighter, being pushed through a meat grinder, then set on fire will not kill you. I would offer to demonstrate, but I... have an engagement. Why don't you try it? Fighter: Hot diggity! Next Topic: Kobold B.O.
RobbyPants 12-28-07, 10:16 AM	Next Topic: Kobold B.O. "Man, I hate going through these kobold mines. You smell that? Oh no! The canary just died!" :eek: Next topic: Peter Griffin
Zombie_Babies 12-28-07, 10:24 AM	"Man, I hate going through these kobold mines. You smell that? Oh no! The canary just died!" :eek: Next topic: Peter Griffin "Yeah I'm going to Peter's Halloween party. My costume? Well, I thought I'd dress up as a giant yellow chicken..." NEXT TOPIC: Meatwad
Braydz 12-28-07, 03:50 PM	"Does this taste funny to you?" Topic: Gnome construct(s)
Nerick_Zinekamcen 12-29-07, 06:04 PM	"Does this taste funny to you?" Topic: Gnome construct(s) TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !! Gnome: Your right maybe I shouldn't have brought my steam-powered kobold on the stealth mission. Next topic: steam-powered kobalds
DonThelonious 12-29-07, 07:26 PM	Steam Powered Kobolds: "What do you mean 'Pressure Gauge'?" Next Topic: Paragon Dire Rats
stargate525 12-29-07, 08:23 PM	"You must say Paramour, a paragon is, god bless us, a thing of naught." "Stop quoting Shakespeare and swing the damn sword!" Next Topic: Intelligent Spectacles
Cowczar 12-30-07, 07:19 AM	Wizard: "To say these specs are Chaotic Evil, Is no doubt a thing of drivel. Spectacles may not be aligned, Nay, in fact are confined To a True Neutral stance Of this fact give remembrance In fact, most glasses have no score of INT What's this? I see a glint! "Now a fact which no one can deny, These specs have poked out my eye." Next topic: A marriage between a Treant and a Salamander (should be fun)
Makuya 12-30-07, 09:11 AM	Next topic: A marriage between a Treant and a Salamander (should be fun) Treant: *screams in agony* THE BURNING! THE BURNING! Next topic: Fighter's player took the last slice of pizza.
heavenisme 12-30-07, 09:57 AM	Next topic: Fighter's player took the last slice of pizza. What do you mean that was the DM's slice.... My bad. He bought the pizza and didn't get a slice? You snooze you lose. Cmon really, it's just pizza, I am sure he wont miss it. Next topic: Mumra the ever living and Gargamel the Alcamist feasting on smurfs
lordoftea 12-30-07, 10:06 AM	... hey didn't these things turn to gold? next topic: a car.
hitorijun 12-30-07, 10:19 AM	next topic: a car. "Now what would be holding 2 bullseye lanterns and moving that fast right at us?!" Next topic: Applesauce
DonThelonious 12-31-07, 11:29 AM	Applesauce: Fighter: :nonono: "NO!!! We can't go through there. Its full of that dangerous slime..." DMPC Bard: :blink: "Meat shield, seriously, its just normal applesauce. The evil wizard who lives in this place has a thing for apples, remember? We went over this..." Rogue: :incog: "Sorry singer, but I have to agree with our warrior on this." DMPC Bard: :( "The only other option is to go back out and through the funny smelling caves in the orchard. The ones that burned my nose hairs." Cleric: :pbbbtt: "Bah! You minstrels and your sensitive noses. I'm a dwarf, and I smelled nothing too out of the ordinary! Quit 'yer whinin'. We go through the caves..." DMPC Bard: :surrender :rant: "Fine, but don't say I didn't try to warn you..." RAWR:eek:!!! :dragon: GREEN DRAGON! :OMG!OMFG:OMG!!!! :ghosted: :evillaugh Next Topic: Male fire giant BBEG getting caught of guard by sneaky PCs... And he is wearing womens clothes... Sexy. Womens. Clothes. :uh-huh: :mymy: :gah:
trappedslider 12-31-07, 12:33 PM	PCS: :gah: :ghosted: Nexto topic: Planet of the Apes
Zombie_Babies 12-31-07, 12:39 PM	PCS: :gah: :ghosted: Nexto topic: Planet of the Apes Police: "Step away from the ledge!! Don't jump!!" PC: "I have to! I swore I'd do this if Marc Wahlberg or Nick Cage ever made another movie! They SUCK THAT BAD!!" *Splat!* NEXT TOPIC: The chick you wake up next to after a New Year's Eve party
DonThelonious 12-31-07, 01:48 PM	The Chick You Wake Up Next After The New Years Eve Party: Guy to friends: "She hadn't shaved in awhile, but she had the most amazing tongue... No she was gone before I got up, but she should be coming back... Well she left this big dog here so I'm pretty sure she is coming back..." Next Topic: Waking up, hungover on a cargo ship headed...
alchemyprime 12-31-07, 02:33 PM	"Oh, my head... wait... the Isle of Bread? What's so scary about that?" Next Topic: Daleks
Dougan Axehammer 01-01-08, 03:55 AM	The Chick You Wake Up Next After The New Years Eve Party: Guy to friends: "She hadn't shaved in awhile, but she had the most amazing tongue... No she was gone before I got up, but she should be coming back... Well she left this big dog here so I'm pretty sure she is coming back..." :uh-huh: That's just.... ewww. Topic, still: Daleks
Cowczar 01-01-08, 07:52 AM	Topic: Daleks Wizard: Let's get out of here! Fighter: No, you see, "Exterminate" is corrupted Draconic for Eii Exxus Terminatus, which means, "I won't kill you". Wizard: I know Draconic and that wasn't it. Fighter: Fine, run away, coward. I'll spend some quality time with my new friend. Next Topic: The Holiday Armadillo (:cookie: for the reference)
DracoPhoenix 01-01-08, 04:58 PM	Next Topic: The Holiday Armadillo (:cookie: for the reference) Well, Friends for the :cookie:, but I think Ross died spectacularly on that one as it was. Next Topic : Recital from memory of 1001 bad things to say right before you die. In ancient Latin.
BarivusTheFearless 01-01-08, 11:18 PM	Well, Friends for the :cookie:, but I think Ross died spectacularly on that one as it was. Next Topic : Recital from memory of 1001 bad things to say right before you die. In ancient Latin. Saying "ancient Latin" is redundant... but onto the topic: 1001 nocens res loquor vox pro vos intereo veneficus: "Ergo sum equus cognito..." NEXT TOPIC: redundancy!!! :D
Hellsbells 01-02-08, 11:59 AM	Wait wait I should know this one, ive taken four years of latin
RobbyPants 01-02-08, 12:54 PM	NEXT TOPIC: redundancy!!! :D 1001 nocens res loquor vox pro vos intereo veneficus: "Ergo sum equus cognito..." * sorry, couldn't help myself :P Next Topic: Cryo-stasis.
DonThelonious 01-03-08, 08:52 AM	Cryo-Stasis: "So all I have to do is let the white dragon breath on me once and I'll never have to fear death again you say?!?" Next Topic: Kender Maps
Zombie_Babies 01-03-08, 03:59 PM	Cryo-Stasis: "So all I have to do is let the white dragon breath on me once and I'll never have to fear death again you say?!?" Next Topic: Kender Maps Halfway through the devious dungeon: PC1: "Man that was one shiny map that Kender gave us. No charge too!" PC2: "What map?" NEXT TOPIC: Dating outside of your species
Mithral Icesilver 01-03-08, 09:29 PM	Halfway through the devious dungeon: PC1: "Man that was one shiny map that Kender gave us. No charge too!" PC2: "What map?" NEXT TOPIC: Dating outside of your species Teenaged male PC to female red dragon: Look, Red, I know how you feel, but my parents won't let me date anyone who can't fit in the house. Next topic: Temporary sheep
BarivusTheFearless 01-04-08, 01:18 AM	Next topic: Temporary sheep Well the sheep is only *poof* NEXT TOPIC: Banjulhu ((:cookie: for the reference...))
ff6shadow 01-04-08, 08:11 AM	Fighter to the Rogue: What do you mean, their is a giant puppet with tentacles around the corner? For cookie: Order of the Stick, I do believe. Topic:Alternate Magic Systems.
DracoPhoenix 01-04-08, 09:57 AM	Topic:Alternate Magic Systems. Wizard: I tell you, Vancian is the only magic worth it's salt! [long queue or psions, incarnates, truenamers (ok, maybe not that one) etc]: Well we disagree! Wizard : Yeah? [one munchkin spell combo later] Lone survivor : Yeah. The name's Pun, Pun Pun. My turn. Next topic : Clerical error on the wanted poster.
Zombie_Babies 01-04-08, 10:29 AM	Poster: "Wanted: Gyrialatir the Ancient Black Dagon- Reward 25k pp" PC1: "What's a Dagon?" PC2: "Who cares. It's probably some made up title. Now let's go kick this old dude's butt!" NEXT TOPIC: A fly in your soup
Dusken 01-04-08, 02:49 PM	TOPIC: A fly in your soup Waiter, what's this ebony fly doing in my soup? The backstroke, just before it takes you to the abyss... Next Topic: Dragonlance Fifth Age System
DonThelonious 01-04-08, 03:08 PM	NEXT TOPIC: Banjulhu ((:cookie: for the reference...)) Banjulhu is a response to the question "Do any banjoist play this game". Banjulhu is the the great and evil god of the banjulhuists! YAY!!! All hail Banjulhu!!!!!!!
vegetalss4 01-04-08, 05:16 PM	Banjulhu is a response to the question "Do any banjoist play this game". Banjulhu is the the great and evil god of the banjulhuists! YAY!!! All hail Banjulhu!!!!!!! no banjulhu is what the god banjo patron of Elan will be when he awkens from the slep caused by 2/3 of his followers dropping him within the same strip (both Hayley and Belkar) and it is an order of the stick quote EDIT: but i do agree in one thing ALL HAIL BANJULHU!!!!!!!!
BarivusTheFearless 01-05-08, 12:47 AM	Fighter to the Rogue: What do you mean, their is a giant puppet with tentacles around the corner? For cookie: Order of the Stick, I do believe. :cookie:Correct you are, sir.
Kalnoras 01-05-08, 12:57 AM	Next Topic: Dragonlance Fifth Age System What?!? Oh BULLSNARKLE - it's BAHAMUT and TIAMAT, ya FOOL!!! Next Topic: Deck of MINI Things (no typo) :)
Cowczar 01-05-08, 06:09 AM	Topic: Deck of MINI Things Fighter: Well, you see, with the Tarrasque coming close, I figure that I can get a wish and then he's toast. Just shuffle the cards and oh dar- (high-pitched) RUN AWAY! Next Topic: Fried Chicken
DracoPhoenix 01-05-08, 01:07 PM	Caller : Hi, I'd like to some fried chicken delivered, please? underpaid teen cashier : Sure, what's the name? Caller : Tarrasque, uh, that's T - a - r - r -a - s - q - u - e, no title. UTC : Alright, Mr Tarrarara...sque... (mommy)... Next topic : Adventurer's retirement centre.
Cowczar 01-05-08, 08:59 PM	Topic : Adventurer's retirement centre. Venerable Fighter: I remember back in my day, there were more dangerous monsters, none of these wimpish Colossal Great Red Wyrms you see today. We fought real monsters, and were happy for it. Venerable Ninja: Hee hee... whoops! Up the gazebo! Venerable Fighter: Exactly! The tough monsters! Old Rogue: I personally only ever ran from them. Venerable Ninja: Here's to the mountain's dew! Venerable Fighter: That's just what I`m saying! It's like old what's-his-face used to say, what was his name now? Venerable Wizard: May he rest in peace... I remember once, back in the year of the Perforated Grick, - Venerable Fighter: Shut up, I'm telling a story. So when we fought say, the Tarrasque, it wasn't the Tarrasque they have these days. Old Rogue: Like the Tarrasque headed towards us, for example. Venerable Ninja: And see how the pillows billow *snort*! Venerable Fighter: Exactly. No fight in 'em. Next topic: Rubber Gray Render Masks
Bhaelfur 01-05-08, 09:02 PM	Next topic : Adventurer's retirement centre. EDIT: Jacked... "Why, back in my day, I conquered Waterdeep, stole Elminster's pipe, punched Drizzt Do'Urden in the face, and... GAH!" The old man dies of a heart attack.
Warforged_Dragon 01-05-08, 09:21 PM	What!? Grog the retired half-orc barbarian is raging!? Because Miles wouldn't play bingo!? ... eck Next topic: Dramatic exits :cookie: for anyone who can reference that to order of the stick EDIT: Slow typer sorry
the-fallen 01-05-08, 10:43 PM	"Awww yea". Topic Demons (Mainly scubbus )
Cowczar 01-06-08, 07:23 AM	Actually, this topic hasn't been done yet. Next topic: Rubber Gray Render Masks
the-fallen 01-06-08, 09:35 AM	Wow very grey but so cool me wanna tuch it (obosly he has an int of 9) topic nymph
hitorijun 01-06-08, 09:55 AM	topic nymph Come on guys, it's just a beautiful girl. Guys? Guys? Topic Paper Cuts
Dougan Axehammer 01-06-08, 06:26 PM	Come on guys, it's just a beautiful girl. Guys? Guys? Topic Paper Cuts "I am a master of the ancient art of Origami." "Paper folding?" Topic: Ro sham bo (rock-paper-scissors)
Damidar 01-06-08, 09:24 PM	" Wait a minute! There is no sword in Ro Sham urk.. " Topic: Rugs
Bhaelfur 01-07-08, 01:14 AM	Topic: Rugs "Hey! I'm flying! Does this flying carpet have seat belts? How about air bags? No? Gulp..." Next Topic: Gelatinous Cube Draco-Lich
Krevon 01-07-08, 01:25 AM	"Look! Fossils!" topic: Ethereal Filtcher
DonThelonious 01-09-08, 02:02 AM	Ethereal Filcher: "HA! I can take all you orcs with my eyes closed. Let me get my... Sword. Where is my sword? Um... Great joke, eh guys?!?" Next Topic: Level 15 Awakened Squirrel Barbarian
DracoPhoenix 01-09-08, 03:18 AM	Next Topic: Level 15 Awakened Squirrel Barbarian "Hey guy's look, it's a cute lil sabre tooth squirrel! Look he has a cute lil acorn too! Come here lil fella." *Takes acorn* (Minor creation yourself a :cookie: if you get the ref)
ff6shadow 01-09-08, 04:55 AM	Isn't your reference the movie Ice Age? No topic so. Topic: Paladin with a Holy Avenger at level 1.
Cowczar 01-09-08, 08:22 PM	Topic: Paladin with a Holy Avenger at level 1. Ghoul: Here, pally pally! I have 14 whole HP! Not even your sword can prevent me from... not even your glowing sword can prevent me from... not even your holy glowing sword (I feel the aura) can prevent me from- mommy. Next topic: Cheeseburger-flavoured lute (enjoy).
Belkar 01-10-08, 12:22 PM	Next topic: Cheeseburger-flavoured lute (enjoy). Fighter: "Quick, Bard, play us a song on your fabled lute to entrance this foe, so we might slip away without notice!" Bard: [munch, munch, munch...] *belch* Rogue: "Aw... man... not again! Fighter, the next time you tell me a half-orc Bard would be a neat idea... I'm punching you in the knee!" Bard: "Mmmm... Thog like tasty..." Next Topic: Infernal Pasta Maker
BarivusTheFearless 01-10-08, 05:50 PM	Next Topic: Infernal Pasta Maker "Ok... you take the sheet of dough and put it close to this blade, now hold it stead and just crank this handle..." Next Topic: Cheez Whiz
Cowczar 01-10-08, 06:10 PM	Topic: Cheez-Whiz Fighter: Calm down, Wizard. These barbaric halflings covering us with Cheez-Whiz are probably worshiping us... Next Topic: Halfling Sideburns
DonThelonious 01-11-08, 10:27 AM	Halfling Sideburns: "Whats that halfling monks name? Yeah the one with the ugly bright red sideburns. Charly? Chuckles? Chucky? His last name was Norrisson..." Next Topic: A dire bear with a toothache
Caffeine_Genasi 01-11-08, 04:34 PM	How's the weather up there? Topic: Fairies
ShaneWindby 01-12-08, 06:25 PM	Topic: Fairies Ok, the flying midgets are dead now ... Curios, how did we get so close to the forest edge ? Next Topic: Pile of Gold
Brand_X 01-16-08, 09:54 PM	Next Topic: Pile of Gold I am sure that big lizard on top of that pile of gold will be easy pickings Next Topic: A First Edition Bard (From the back of the original PHB)
DragonStrife 01-17-08, 11:45 AM	"I rolled a four!" Next topic: Dire Pomeranian
Mr_Seth 01-17-08, 12:15 PM	"Awww, c'mere fluffy! C'mere you floofy lil' pile of love!" NT: Obscure gods
DragonStrife 01-17-08, 02:13 PM	"Oh, Whoses you daddy ya lil' munchkin!" *ZAP* Next topic: Killer tomatoes
Whusmaname 01-17-08, 02:47 PM	Killer Tomatoes: Rogue: "Ooh. I'll go pick those tomatoes, so we can have pizza tonight. Ragdar, start a fi..." Next topic: Arthur Dent (From Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy)
DracoPhoenix 01-18-08, 05:48 AM	Killer Tomatoes: Rogue: "Ooh. I'll go pick those tomatoes, so we can have pizza tonight. Ragdar, start a fi..." Next topic: Arthur Dent (From Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy) Arthur (On the phone to a friend on Earth) : Hey Mialee, just wanted to thank you for a great time the other week. Just in case I don't see you tomorrow, after the bypass ground breaking, it's been really fun knowing you. Mialee: What by pass?! ... Hello?! Next topic : The Importance of being Ernest.
Stardrake 01-18-08, 07:17 PM	Next topic : The Importance of being Ernest. "I assure you, sir, that a Bag of Holding is not a proper mother!" Next Topic: Halfling Wizard
skio 01-18-08, 07:46 PM	fighter: Come on wizard! Give me your best shot! halfling wizard: [casts scorching ray on a horizontal direction] (try to imagine what he hits :eek: ) fighter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA next topic: 4E tiefling
Dusken 01-18-08, 07:57 PM	Topic: 4e tiefling Aw...look at her...that was hot! Hey! Babes! Share some of the gnomish loot! Next Topic: Dwarven war chants remixed as club tunes
Whusmaname 01-20-08, 01:59 PM	Next Topic: Dwarven war chants remixed as club tunesRogue (within earshot of a horde of Dwarves): "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go..." Next topic: Betelgeuse (Beetlejuice)
DonThelonious 01-20-08, 05:33 PM	Beetlejuice: "It just says For a solution to your problem say Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice..." Next Topic: Dwarven Spirits (the liqueur)
RobbyPants 01-20-08, 09:19 PM	Next Topic: Dwarven Spirits (the liqueur) "This stuff's great. Not only gets you drunk, but it cuts grease too. Hey! You can't smoke when I'm drinking this stuff!" next topic: Magical firearms
DracoPhoenix 01-21-08, 06:15 AM	"This stuff's great. Not only gets you drunk, but it cuts grease too. Hey! You can't smoke when I'm drinking this stuff!" next topic: Magical firearms Rogue: Hey! What's this do? *looking at big red button* Wizard : Don't know, but it's got "Activate MAD" in draconic with "Detonate nuclear arsenal" next to it. What's a nuclear arsenal? Rogue : *raising hand from now depressed button* ...uh, I think we're about to find out. Next topic: Gem dragon convention
Cowczar 01-21-08, 08:17 PM	Next topic: Gem dragon convention Fighter: Now just think the jewelry we can make out of these babies!!:dancin: Next topic: Half-Elf garlicky snack food
Kalnoras 01-21-08, 10:38 PM	Half-Elf garlicky snack food One night at the local dungeon ... Minion #86: "Hey! Grok!! Look what me get from cook! Half Elf garlicky snack food!! Now we eats good AND show dat vampire @#$&% who da REAL bosses is!!" Next topic: Pass Gaseous Form
Zombie_Babies 01-22-08, 10:55 AM	One night at the local dungeon ... Minion #86: "Hey! Grok!! Look what me get from cook! Half Elf garlicky snack food!! Now we eats good AND show dat vampire @#$&% who da REAL bosses is!!" Next topic: Pass Gaseous Form "Ok. Just remember to hold tight until we get to the temple. Then you can 'release' the vampire and we'll get the clerics to destroy it. Wait a second. Is that beans you're eating?!?!" Next Topic: The Dragonlance DVD
Belkar 01-22-08, 03:04 PM	Next Topic: The Dragonlance DVD Dwarf Fighter: "Why are all 'o these strange shiny disks taped to this archery target?" Elf Wizard: "I know not, my stout dwarven friend... I know not..." Next Topic: Gelatinous Cube Jello Mold
Cowczar 01-22-08, 06:26 PM	Topic: Gelatinous Cube Jello Mold Rogue: And you see, we just need to make a life-size fake Gelatinous Cube, then we can scare intruders off from our castle... let me get the latex to make the molds... Next Topic: A Hello Kitty Lich's Phylactery
DragonStrife 01-22-08, 07:40 PM	Fighter: EEEK! Get it away! *has a nervous breakdown* Cleric: *casts remove cuteness* Next Topic: Spider eating pies
mathew99 01-22-08, 11:37 PM	"Spidey think fast!" next topic: caucasion kids with afros
MergedLoki 01-23-08, 04:54 AM	"Spidey think fast!" next topic: caucasion kids with afros "It appears the evil wizard garmesh is attempting to kill us through confused minions!" next topic: whiny emo kids
DonThelonious 01-23-08, 08:44 AM	Whiny Emo Kids: "So let me get this straight... No one likes, everybody hates you, guess you should get eaten by a purple worm..." Next Topic: A Whiny Emo Barbarian:confused:
Cowczar 01-23-08, 12:43 PM	Topic: Whiny Emo Barbarian Barbarian: Now it's time for my daily cut... *picks up greataxe*... called attack to arm*... crits... Next Topic: Grey Render Toejam
DragonStrife 01-23-08, 04:03 PM	Grey Render: OW! *Grunts and hopes around on one foot holding the other* That Sasafrassing no good dirty rotten little halfling rouge! Next topic: Death by wedgie
DonThelonious 01-23-08, 07:34 PM	Death By Wedgie: Halfling Rogue "It cost me a pretty penny, but I finally got my mithral underwear! Now I feel really secure." Ogre Barbarian "AAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMIIIIIIIIC WEDGIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Next Topic: 1/2 Orc Morning Breath
DracoPhoenix 01-24-08, 03:47 AM	Death By Wedgie: Halfling Rogue "It cost me a pretty penny, but I finally got my mithral underwear! Now I feel really secure." Ogre Barbarian "AAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMIIIIIIIIC WEDGIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Next Topic: 1/2 Orc Morning Breath 1/2 Orc : *Belches, killing 5 kobolds* Did I mention I'm half dragon?
Cowczar 01-24-08, 06:40 PM	Well, no topic, so here y'all go: Next Topic: A rubber lantern
DonThelonious 01-25-08, 10:42 AM	A Rubber Lantern: "Watch this, I can bounce my lantern all over the barn!" "Wait! It li..." WHOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Next Topic: Goblin Girlfriend
Zombie_Babies 01-25-08, 10:46 AM	A Rubber Lantern: "Watch this, I can bounce my lantern all over the barn!" "Wait! It li..." WHOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Next Topic: Goblin Girlfriend PC: "Sorry about missing your sister's wedding, baby, but I did promise the guys I'd go adventuring..." Goblin Girlfriend: "What do you boys do with this 'adventuring' anyways? I swear, I'll never understand human boys..." PC: "Well, you know, we just go out and escort caravans, kill rats in sewers for the mayor, help farmers with any wild animal issues, kill gob-... *caugh* ga...*caugh**caugh* .... kobolds.." GGF: "What?!?!?! Daddy!!" Next Topic: Medusa's bad hair day
DracoPhoenix 01-25-08, 11:16 AM	Next Topic: Medusa's bad hair day Medusa : "Mirror mirror on the wall".... (Yes I know they're immune, but it's a bad hair day) Next topic : Over long BBEG Monologue.
Belkar 01-25-08, 02:01 PM	Next topic: Over long BBEG Monologue. Fighter: "So... you placed us in this highly secure - but still slightly escapable - trap of fiendish design?" BBEG: "Muahahahahahaaa!" Rogue: "And... there's an overly-elaborate and very slow method of killing us as part of said fiendish trap?" BBEG: "Yes! Yes! Now, be quiet and listen, while I explain my sinister plans - which, of course, you'll never get the chance to foil! Muahahahahaaa!" Fighter: "I'm sorry...?" BBEG: "It all started when I was a young necromancer. I knew a girl then, a pretty thing, and she fancied me. We had the world on our shoulders, then..." Fighter: "[whispers]Pssst. Hey, um, are you... uh...?" Rogue: "Yep. Keep listening to him... I'm picking the lock..." Next Topic: James Bond as a PC
Drunken_Battle_Rager 01-25-08, 04:41 PM	Bond:"the names Bond, James bo- HEY!! I said shanken not from a barrel! half-orc Bar Tender: um... this is all i have... Bond: oh... umm... so im not getting my drink Bartender: um... we have ale... Bond: god! I spy on the king and steal the stupid royal gem! and i cant even get the drink i want The room is full of theives and goes completely quiet when hes yells that and a dager gets thrown by an unskilled theif right past Bond's head, and then the bartender pulls out his greataxe Bond goes pale: :eek: damn... this doesnt look good... Topic:Caramon vs. Wulfgar in a slap fight
Zombie_Babies 01-25-08, 04:48 PM	Topic:Caramon vs. Wulfgar in a slap fight Caramon: "Sure, I'll slap that barbarian from here to the Cataclysm!" Wulfgar: "Bring it o... *burp*... on yeeeew lllliilly llivered..." Caramon: "I thought you said he was in AA!" Next Topic: Hypno toads
Drunken_Battle_Rager 01-25-08, 05:01 PM	fighter: "hey sweet! Toads..." Toad: you will obey me Fighter: ...i will obey you... Toad:hehe... bring me a... Taco!!! Fighter: certainly... Toad: :schemes: hehehe tacos rule! an hour later... fighter: im back! Toad: took you long eno... WTF! i siad taco not tako!!!! *as it was then eating by the tako* Topic: an apoligtic barbarian in rage wilding a vorpal great sword
Fly666monkey 01-25-08, 07:22 PM	"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH H!!!!!!"" slaughter,slaughter, kill, kill... CRIT on Alboss, gnome rouge. *sound of blood spewing everywhere* "Oops, sorry...." Slaughter slaughter, kill, kill Next topic: DnD meets WoW
chunkeylubber53 01-25-08, 07:36 PM	Oh, thank god, those night elves will save us... Say, since when do night elves ride spiders?... next topic: disfunctional lances
Amon_V 01-25-08, 11:12 PM	PC 1: Did that fight with that "Black Mage" seem weird to you? PC 2: Yeah. I've never heard of a "Fire Three". Wait a second, did that guy with a lance just jump '40 upwards right at us? Next Topic: Gnomish Cigars
Cowczar 01-26-08, 08:05 AM	Topic: Gnomish Cigars *lights cigar* *cigar spews chemical gas everywhere* *clockwork needle injects poison into lips* *Explosion* *an EL 100 group of Balors is automatically summoned* *a small note drifts to the ground, reading "No hard feelings* Next Topic: A Waterskin
DracoPhoenix 01-26-08, 08:34 AM	Topic: Gnomish Cigars *lights cigar* *cigar spews chemical gas everywhere* *clockwork needle injects poison into lips* *Explosion* *an EL 100 group of Balors is automatically summoned* *a small note drifts to the ground, reading "No hard feelings* Next Topic: A Waterskin Barbarian : Give me that water skin! *Takes deep gulp* Psion Shaper : You can't read can you? Barbarian : No, so what? Psion Shaper : That was my Black lotus Poison. Next topic : A docile goat, quietly eating grass. In the middle of an open field.
Ampolitor 01-26-08, 01:09 PM	You foolish dragon!
Amon_V 01-26-08, 03:43 PM	No topic, so, an old favorite: "I kissed a Goddess! I kissed a Goddess!" "Make a save versus annihilation, loverboy" Topic: Juggling a Sphere of Annihilation.
DragonStrife 01-27-08, 10:14 AM	I have a Dex score of 26, *I* can do anything! Next Topic: Wizard with anger management issues
Brand_X 01-27-08, 10:18 AM	Topic: Juggling a Sphere of Annihilation. Archmage "The trick is to keep Greater Mage Hand working so the Sphere doesnt actually touch you" Apprentice "Sorry Master I didn't mean to cast Dispel Magic on your Mage Hand spell." Next Topic: 1st Edition Bards (Back of PHB)
Kalnoras 01-27-08, 03:24 PM	1st edition Bards (Back of PHB) has already been done, so I'm going with: Wizard with anger management issues "WHAT!!! WHAT!!!!!! What're you pixie-pumpin' freaks lookin' at ME for?!?! WHAT, am I just SUPPOSED to put up with that smarmy dragon's freaking superiority complex?!?!? I DON'T THINK SO!!!" Next topic: Troglodyte mosh pit
Amon_V 01-27-08, 05:31 PM	Rogue: That was an odd kind of pit trap--only about 20'. OH MY GOD, WHAT'S THAT SMELL!! Next Topic: Giving the Finger to a Greater Deity.
Malchius 01-27-08, 05:57 PM	Half-Orcish Eye of Gruumsh;*Giving the Finger to Corellon*"Don't worry, he won't do anything, he's chaotic good." Next Topic: A Warforged Guard nicknamed Robocop
Amon_V 01-27-08, 07:13 PM	"Pleased to meet you all. I was heading to Kersh as well" "Oh yes, and have some elven wine. It's most delicious!" "But, I seem to have forgotten your names" "I'm Drizzt, that's Leroy Jenkins, the Construct is Robocop, and our magician is name Elminister" "Ah. You can call me Boba Fett" [Rumbling] "Um, what's that sound?" CRUNCH!! [Rocks fall, PCs Die] Next Topic: Pun-Punage
DragonStrife 01-27-08, 08:36 PM	Pun-Pun: Muhahahahaha! I'm the best there ever was no one can pwn me! Epic rouge: sneak attack with a + 7 flame burst, vorpal, bane of Puns, great sword, with a crit. Face it, you've been pwned. Next Topic: Death by Dressage
Shadowshimmer 01-28-08, 10:49 AM	Party leader to the Half-Orc Barb, "Thunk, you are not swinging your Vorpal sword around in this pitch dark room with the Evil Wizard Dressage and the party in close quarters, are you?" A few seconds later. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh shi!!" Slice! Next Topic: Death by Duel
Fishonahorse 01-28-08, 07:47 PM	Party leader to the Half-Orc Barb, "Thunk, you are not swinging your Vorpal sword around in this pitch dark room with the Evil Wizard Dressage and the party in close quarters, are you?" A few seconds later. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh shi!!" Slice! Next Topic: Death by Duel "Dude, all he has is studded leather and two butter knives..." last words of Invisible Blade victim. Next Topic: old cats with epic sorceror class levels.
Amon_V 01-28-08, 08:08 PM	"Here Kitty Kitty Kitty! You like it when I rub you there, right? OW! You dumb cat, even though I am just a lowly commoner, I can beat the daylights out of a cat..." Next Topic: Cleaning with Acid.
Fly666monkey 01-28-08, 08:25 PM	Dumb Monk: I'm gonna wash my hands in that green river. What could happen? Next topic: Gods in a peeing for distance contest Then: Nerull vs. Osama-Bin-Laden in the THUNDERDOME!
DonThelonious 01-29-08, 01:52 AM	Gods In A Peeing For Distance Contest: "Hey look that clous looks just like a one eyed orc... What the hells! Its raining!" "Yeah it is, and they sky is clear other than your could and the one there that looks like an elf with a bow on his back..." :eek: "Oh my gods! Its raining orcs and elves!!!!!" Next Topic: Old School Magic Missle (The one that topped out at 10 missles at 1d6 each:P)
Amon_V 01-29-08, 02:46 AM	Two at Once. OK: Osama to Nerull: I'm going to get 47 virgins for detonating myself! Nerull: Animate Dead! And then: There's no way a dippy little cantrip can ever take me down! Next Topic: Selling ones soul to a devil.
Dusken 01-29-08, 12:07 PM	Topic: Selling one's soul to a devil Okay, let me read the contract...I see the need for several revisions... (hours later) Okay, you will agree to give me 80% of your assets and in return you get 5% of my soul and a coupon good at any Hot Topic... Next Topic: Gunslinger style duel with a Spellwarp Sniper (or Order of the Bow Initiate)
DonThelonious 01-31-08, 04:42 AM	Gunslinger Type Battle Between Spellwarp Snipers: "You will each walk ten paces, then on my mark you will turn and fire. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10- Fire!!!" BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Next Topic: A Half-Orcs Dirty Underwear
Cowczar 01-31-08, 07:47 AM	Next Topic: A Half-Orcs Dirty Underwear Fighter: Throg Skullbash, you are to burn your dirty underwear. The stench could otherwise kill us. Throg Skullbash: Throg wear no underwear. Throg like commando. *TPK out of horror* Next topic: A wooden bowl.
kelvinaw273 01-31-08, 08:20 AM	Next topic: A wooden bowl. 1/2-Orc to Wizard: Not enough for ale? Huh, me go knock over that silly little old man there begging with the wooden bowl, get coppers easy way! Wizard: It is unwise to be incautious around smiling little old men ... 1/2-orc: Huh? <assaults elderly monk> <excruciating painful death of 1/2-Orc> Wizard: Like I said, it is unwise to be incautious around smiling little old men ... Next Topic: Health & Safety in a Dungeon
DracoPhoenix 01-31-08, 08:49 AM	Next Topic: Health & Safety in a Dungeon H&S Inspector : I'm sorry Mr BBEG, but if you don't bring this dungeon up to spec, I will have to close you down. I mean look at it, there's pit traps, cloud gas traps, I nearly pricked myself on several poison needles. Not to mention the smell coming from the Balors binding circle. That can't be healthy. No, you get this list *hands list to BBEG*, sorted out and call me back. BBEG: *Taking list, looking rather sheepish* Look Mister, I've got adventurers on the way. I promise it'll all be sorted before they get here, but you can't close me down like this! H&S Guy: I'm sorry, but my hands are tied. Now good day Mr BBEG. *H&S guy turns & walks away, failing his spot check for the "T" with a dotted line around it* H&S Guy: Aarrrghhhhhhh! next topic : door to door sales men
Fly666monkey 01-31-08, 12:20 PM	next topic : door to door sales men Knock knock salesman:"Have you found Je-" SHING! Crit! Pwned! cleric: "have a nice day." Allah Airlines (I know, I'm going to hell.)
Cowczar 01-31-08, 07:04 PM	Allah Airlines? I don't really think that's right... gotta be politically correct... Ehrm... moving on, Next topic: Meat
Fly666monkey 01-31-08, 07:32 PM	Allah Airlines? I don't really think that's right... gotta be politically correct... Ehrm... moving on, Next topic: Meat PC? :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :heehee :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: You are a sad person. PC FTL
Cowczar 02-01-08, 09:05 AM	You are a sad person. Finally something for the ego pad! Topic: Meat
DonThelonious 02-01-08, 11:50 AM	Meat: Fat Halfling Rogue "We are in the middle of nowhere. The cleric is dying from that spike trap back there, we have no druid, and we are out of food. I am so hungry I can't even think straight. We need food..." 1/2 Orc "You say cleric dead?" FHR "No. He is dying, we need to get him healed." 1/2 Orc "Thog know what Thog eat..." Next Topic: Druid Wildshaped Into A Sheep (C'mon guys, this one is EASY)
Zombie_Babies 02-01-08, 12:06 PM	Next Topic: Druid Wildshaped Into A Sheep (C'mon guys, this one is EASY) Druid Thinking: Hmm. Maybe New Zealand wasn't the best place to be Teleported to... (Tha...That's terrbile. I'm sorry.) Next Topic: When Dire Animals Attack!
russdm 02-01-08, 03:17 PM	Druid Thinking: Hmm. Maybe New Zealand wasn't the best place to be Teleported to... (Tha...That's terrbile. I'm sorry.) Next Topic: When Dire Animals Attack! "Its just a chipmunk..." Topic: Kittens
Fly666monkey 02-01-08, 04:41 PM	"Its just a chipmunk..." Topic: Kittens "I got it's tail!!!" -last word of Grog, a really stupid orc. Next: WAAAAAARGH!: the world's most PO'd orc.
DonThelonious 02-02-08, 12:54 AM	WAAAAAARGH!: the world's most PO'd orc: Party Bard "Its okay guys! At the rate he's going he is likely to die from a heart attack before he even lands a hit:)" Next Topic: Angry Goblin Pimp
Beadmagic 02-02-08, 11:56 AM	"Witch betta have my money!" Topic: Gibberlings
DonThelonious 02-04-08, 02:45 AM	Gibberlings: Rogue "Whats that noise?" Bard "I don't know, it sounds like a human..." Rogue "Wait its saying something...." Bard "What do you hear?" Rogue "It says the 1/2 orcs mom was a goat... And your his daddy..." (Sorry I have no idea what a gibberling is:rolleyes: ) Next Topic: Gnome Barbarian/Bear Warrior
DracoPhoenix 02-04-08, 07:08 AM	*In that tone women use on babies trying to be cute* Aww! Look at the cute lil bear! Come here ya lil fella, come here. *Opens arms to hug the bear* Next topic : day old "hot wings"
DonThelonious 02-04-08, 03:25 PM	Day Old "Hotwings" Rogue "So they just throw these out every night?" *munch munch 1/2 Orc Barbarian "Yep, they pretty good too... What this place called, it has sign but I can't read." *munch munch Rogue "I don't know ask that guy over there." *munch munch Several minutes later... Rogue "What did he say?" *munch munch 1/2 Orc Barbarian "It called The Circumcision Clinic. Funny name for place to eat..." I know. It was terrible. I am a bad person. Next Topic: Bachelor Party In Xanth (Let the 'PUN'-ishment begin!)
Cowczar 02-07-08, 06:25 AM	Topic: Bachelor Party in Xanth Drunken Bachelor: Alright then, show me your xanthopanties! Drunken Bachelore 2: No, you see, it's from Pier-XANTH-ony! DB: No, I'm telling you- Child: (seeing panties) NOOOOOOOOO! *Mass Hari-Kiri* I'm sorry, that was absolutely horrible... but this thread has been sitting for days and it needs to move on. Sorry, DonThelonious. Next Topic: A Fluffy Mitten
Drunken_Battle_Rager 02-07-08, 11:23 PM	a great wyrm red dragon is attacking the Band of worriors: Fighter: no! he got the mage at least we still have the cleric! Bard: nope... she just got a fire breath to the face... Fighter: so who do we have left... Bard: well... your not gonna like it... Fighter in a annoyed tone: let me guess... the kender thats been following us... Bard: ya and your deffeintly not gonna believe this... hes fighting with a 'fluffy mitten'... WTH... did he jsut say the 'Fluffly Mitten of red dragon banishing'!!! (gotta love kenders and how they make up items as they go on lol) New Topic: Tas Burrfoot and the Kender Spoon of Turning xD
DracoPhoenix 02-08-08, 02:50 AM	a great wyrm red dragon is attacking the Band of worriors: Fighter: no! he got the mage at least we still have the cleric! Bard: nope... she just got a fire breath to the face... Fighter: so who do we have left... Bard: well... your not gonna like it... Fighter in a annoyed tone: let me guess... the kender thats been following us... Bard: ya and your deffeintly not gonna believe this... hes fighting with a 'fluffy mitten'... WTH... did he jsut say the 'Fluffly Mitten of red dragon banishing'!!! (gotta love kenders and how they make up items as they go on lol) New Topic: Tas Burrfoot and the Kender Spoon of Turning xD *after the above fight* Bard : Wait! Did that dragon corpse move? Fighter: Please tell me that it's not a draco-lich! Our clerics down, we don't stand a chance on the religion check - never mind killing it (again) Kender (AKA Tas 'Come back here you lil ******' Burrfoot) : *looking at an object in his hand* Hey, look at this spoon that High Priest of Bahumat dropped it back in his office when we were in XYZ before coming here. It's got 'Turning' written on it, wonder what it does? I really need to give it back to him next time we're there, could be valuable. I just didn't want someone coming along and just taking it, so I picked up for safe keeping. *looks up* What? Next topic : Said cleric
russdm 02-12-08, 12:07 PM	"Where's my spoon? I can't banish these spectres without my spoon!" Topic: A Kender Archmage
DracoPhoenix 02-12-08, 05:23 PM	"Where's my spoon? I can't banish these spectres without my spoon!" Topic: A Kender Archmage Dear lord. No. Wrong. uh-huh. :hides: On the plus side, he meant well when he inverted polarities and created an infinite portal between the positive and negative planes, using the material one as a focal point. Next topic .... I have no idea how to top that. ADD Chicken?
Hellsbells 02-12-08, 06:05 PM	I HAVE A TOPIC! A skitzofrenic talking chicken with no head!
DracoPhoenix 02-12-08, 06:19 PM	I HAVE A TOPIC! A skitzofrenic talking chicken with no head! We only have a minute left to live! *proceeds to run round in circles for 59 seconds* Next topic : A BS Johnson commissioned dungeon. (auto-:cookie: for the ref)
Mithral Icesilver 02-12-08, 06:22 PM	We only have a minute left to live! *proceeds to run round in circles for 59 seconds* Next topic : A BS Johnson commissioned dungeon. (auto-:cookie: for the ref) Unlucky adventurer: What's this thing say? Johnson... Harvesting... Engine? *blades come in at head height* Next topic: A potato peeler
ShaneWindby 02-17-08, 06:16 AM	Guard 1: Look out, this lonatic babarian is attacking our gates ! Guard 2: Calm down. All he has is this rusty potato peeler for a weapon. Next topic: gargoyles
Dusken 02-17-08, 02:57 PM	Next topic: gargoyles Dude, why do all of them sound like Star Trek actors? Next Topic: Trying to restore order in a tavern full of dwarven barbarians
DracoPhoenix 02-18-08, 03:36 AM	Dude, why do all of them sound like Star Trek actors? Next Topic: Trying to restore order in a tavern full of dwarven barbarians Inn Keeper : "Free Beer to first person to put down their axe!" Next topic : Crank call via Commune (points for creativity)
Cowczar 04-11-08, 09:07 AM	Time to resurrect this old thread. *casts True Resurrection* Next topic : Crank call via Commune (points for creativity) "Hey Thor... Are both of your celestial food coolers running?" "Aye." "Then you better go catch em!" *Holy Smite* Next topic: Bratwurst
The Stray 04-12-08, 04:03 AM	"We're fighting SAUSAGE GOLEMS? They can't be that tough...what's the wurst that could happen?" Topic: Pinocchio
Nerick_Zinekamcen 05-30-08, 08:26 PM	OK men are you all ready? YES! Good, now lets take down this unholy monstrosity! YEAH! CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "The sky is green" MY EYE!!!! Next topic: the fourth wall
Hellsbells 05-30-08, 11:06 PM	Oh snap I broke it. Topic: Same cause someone can probably come up with better
ryuspearhead 06-01-08, 05:44 PM	Oh snap I broke it. Topic: Same cause someone can probably come up with better "This wall with fall just like all the others CHARGE!!!!!" next topic : 4th edition rule set
Vorteld 06-02-08, 03:23 AM	NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! topic: mummy rot
ShaneWindby 08-17-08, 10:05 AM	Where did you say, you got the bandeges from ? Next topic: Dragonborn
GuyrtheadamantineOne 08-19-08, 02:56 PM	Next topic: Dragonborn Let me show you them. Next topic: The adventures of Vlaakith, the teenage Lich-Queen of the githyanki.
PBoyer 08-19-08, 07:20 PM	Next topic: The adventures of Vlaakith, the teenage Lich-Queen of the gythyanki. Cleric: She looks kind of emo... Bard: I'll play some My Chemical Romance and we'll sneak by while she's writing in her LJ. Next topic: Uncontrollable inflation rate
ff6shadow 08-20-08, 02:53 AM	Its over nine thousand! (Come on. Tell me you don't want to kill somebody every time someone uses that joke.) Topic: Orcish Artificer
M-bark 08-20-08, 04:17 AM	(I don't. 8D) "I build good stuff that go boom!" Next up: misplaced futuristic technology.
Nathreet 08-20-08, 08:57 PM	"Look, more buttons in the dungeon! Let's start pressing them and see what they do." next topic: the DM
ff6shadow 08-20-08, 09:15 PM	Did I ever tell you how this guy screwed my paladin out of his powers? Next Topis: How did the DM screw him out of his powers?
GuyrtheadamantineOne 08-20-08, 09:51 PM	Next Topic: How did the DM screw him out of his powers? "So the wizard's divination says that to open the door, you must put a freshly skinned Blue goblin baby carcass in that conveniently shaped socket. If not soaked in blood at midnight, it will spontaneously send every orphanages in the country to the Negative Energy Plane. All this, with watermelons in place of shoes.." Next Topic: Mordenkainen's Fabulous spells.
The-Mage-King 11-20-08, 08:46 AM	Oh, cr....ARGHHHHHHH! next topic: British Tarrasque
Misery_The_Duelist 11-23-08, 04:17 AM	Oh, cr....ARGHHHHHHH! next topic: British Tarrasque "Man, Ozzy really let himself go" Next Topic: Unicorns
trappedslider 11-23-08, 11:21 AM	"Man, Ozzy really let himself go" Next Topic: Unicorns "awww,look at the cute lil horse with a horn on its head." Flying monkeys
Misery_The_Duelist 11-24-08, 12:55 AM	"awww,look at the cute lil horse with a horn on its head." Flying monkeys "Huh ... didn't know the sh** bricks ..." Next Topic: Dark Elves
Suzaku455 11-24-08, 02:20 AM	"Huh ... didn't know the sh** bricks ..." Next Topic: Dark Elves "Three of our party members are good Dark Elves, so she and her friends must be good" Next Topic: A sword in the middle of the room inserted into the ground (Just like master sword or king arthur's sword).
Misery_The_Duelist 11-24-08, 02:43 AM	"Three of our party of our party are good so she and her friends must be good" Next Topic: A sword in the middle of the room inserted into the ground (Just like master sword or king arthur's sword). (The Blackguard moving to the sword with a smug grin) Blackguard: "I've got this" Next Topic: Elminster's Daughter
ff6shadow 11-24-08, 09:21 AM	*looks at the kidnapped girl* "Who did you say your father was?" Next Topic: Corellion on a date with Lolth.
The-Mage-King 12-04-08, 09:57 AM	Call the tabloids, Drow and High Elvin. Next topic: Elvish Language
MnemonicSV 12-06-08, 03:27 AM	"You fool! 'We come in peace' translates to 'I eat babies' in high elven!!!" Next topic: A duergar dwarf and his desk job.
trappedslider 12-06-08, 03:30 AM	"You fool! 'We come in peace' translates to 'I eat babies' in high elven!!!" Next topic: A duergar dwarf and his desk job. "We need to talk about your TPS reports." Headcrab zombie
The-Mentalist 12-09-08, 09:51 PM	"Why are you scratching you brain?" Next Topic: Half Fiend Paladin
Kefke_Wren 12-09-08, 10:13 PM	"It seemed like such a good idea when I was getting drunk with that cleric!" Next Topic: Combat Rogue