1001 battle taunts [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 battle taunts [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
schpeelah
09-10-07, 02:27 PM What the title says. Post best and worst insults PC's hurl at enemies and vice versa.
Meshakhad
09-10-07, 02:42 PM 1. "For [insert name of deity here]!"
gullas
09-10-07, 02:48 PM 2. I've seen your mom ..... naked:evillaugh
RobbyPants
09-10-07, 02:56 PM 3) You fight like a bard!
Heros_Backpack
09-10-07, 03:03 PM 4) "You couldn't even cut ice with a flaming sword!"

5) "Ah, cutie, did Mumsie lend you her toothpick?"
LazyWarg
09-10-07, 03:19 PM We played an arena battle once where we squared off against a pair of Dwarven barbarians. My character yelled at them: "Who knew GNOMES could be so angry?".
IRememberCecil
09-10-07, 03:24 PM 7. "Because of me, that it has come here for the sake of it can kill!"

It was originally "Come here so I can kill you!" which I then raped with Babelfish... twice.
DarkflameX
09-10-07, 03:37 PM i got the insult from an npc in elderscrolls oblivion

"You move like a pregnant cow!"
Korone
09-10-07, 03:41 PM 9. To throw your filthy celestial corpse back in the light of destruction !

10. You know you'll cry if I hit you ?

11. What the heck are you trying to do ? To hurt me ?
T_Stalker
09-10-07, 03:44 PM 12. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smells like elder berries!"
adamb0nd
09-10-07, 03:46 PM 12) "Die Goblins!"

The goblins in one of the games I played in yelled this on the battle field. They didn't know common, but their enemies seemed to use it often, so they thought it must be frieghtening.
Return of the Flumph
09-10-07, 04:58 PM 12) "Die Goblins!"

The goblins in one of the games I played in yelled this on the battle field. They didn't know common, but their enemies seemed to use it often, so they thought it must be frieghtening.

Okay, that's awesome.

13. "You have an abrupt lesson to learn in the ways of mortality."

14. (when fighting drow) "For every spider you don't squish, I squish three."
Vor
09-10-07, 06:21 PM 14) 10 to 1 thats not fair. Go back and get your boss.
Raynx
09-10-07, 06:43 PM 15) (To Undead) Die!...Again!
KillerGM
09-10-07, 11:46 PM 16. Oldy but goldy:

"If you let me strike you down, you'll become stronger than even *I* can imagine!!"
TheWildKing
09-11-07, 12:07 AM 17. I shall defile your corpse in every way imaginable...and in some ways that aren't!!

My friend was famous for saying this in our group, but i think he did it more just to creep the dm out than anything else
HuManBing
09-11-07, 10:23 AM 18. If you run, you're only going to die tired.

19. I hope you weren't a procrastinator. You just ran out of tomorrows.

20. When you get to the hereafter, tell them I sent you. You might get a group discount.

All these are taken from the video game Blood II.
Fringehead
09-11-07, 12:53 PM To the horde of raging diseased orcs

21)"Stand back, and we will shoot you with our healing arrows!"
greenlightingman25
09-11-07, 01:00 PM My friend had a great sword named Kord past down a line of PC barbarians (all with the name of Bob), and they called the sword Kord.

"I shall heal you with the power of Kord" as he rages toward the enemy, hasted. That was the greatest one-eyed Bugbear Lawer ever.:D
VulcanStormwrath
09-11-07, 01:04 PM When I walk out of these tunnels I will be followed by the smell of burning meat. -Sorceror tied up by Orcs

I Will Eat Your Children! -Warlock opening the battle in a superstitious town

:censored: you, :censored: your horse, :censored: your church and:censored: Pelor. -Hexblade to Paladin in front of his followers
imnotrealyhear
09-11-07, 02:52 PM drip, drop, il make you flop!
TheMonk
09-11-07, 02:56 PM FOR THE BUNNIES!!!!!
Lunas_Argent
09-11-07, 03:12 PM Since I work at Wal-Mart, Im fond of using the phrase "I'll slap you with a shopping cart"
TotallyGenericName
09-11-07, 05:53 PM (Circling around the battle field) Duck, duck, duck, GOOSE!

Bah! You call that fighting? I blow my nose in your general direction!

Yo mama so dumb, she spawned you!
TheWildKing
09-11-07, 08:37 PM Taste steel...AND JUSTICE!!
lunoc
09-11-07, 09:00 PM all your base are belong to us!!

zeekybogiedoog!!!

(warlock to his childhood town) oh and remember that game of horseshoes we played back like, 12 years ago?? I WON zap

in my campain, there was an npc called jimkabob, he wielded the "magic blender gun" witch blended magic and shot the mess at someone . on that note

"ill blend your face!!!"
"some people would say that cosing horrible mutilation to the essence of magic just to kill a kobald would be wrong, but my reptilian midget friends, i am not one of them"
navar100
09-12-07, 01:26 AM 2E Dragonlance campaign, the kender said this to the dragon we were fighting:

"Your mother was a spell component!"
Genevieve_Evernight
09-12-07, 01:28 AM 41(I counted!): Hah! That's all you got? That didn't even dent my damage reduction!
Disciple_of_Salsa
09-12-07, 01:55 AM 42) Eat My Pants!
43)Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, ect.
Rania
09-12-07, 11:10 AM 44: Yer mom's so ugly, she makes Ted look away!
schpeelah
09-12-07, 01:19 PM 45. (To an elf) Hey, Rabbitears!
Genevieve_Evernight
09-13-07, 04:13 PM 46: (re: a minotaur opponent) Beef...it's what's for dinner!
Zousha_Omenohu
09-13-07, 06:24 PM 47. "FRIGGIN' KOBOLD!"
SeptimusMagistos
09-13-07, 09:23 PM 48.) You shall vanish! Just like a couch!

49.) I can't think of anything clever to say, so I'll just kill you and when I tell the story later, I'll say I used a great quip on you. I'll come up with it in the meantime.
Guardian1
09-25-07, 11:42 PM 50. (To a group of orcs): YOU FIGHT LIKE ELVES!!!!

51. (To demons): COME AND GET US, DEVILS!

52. (To devils): I feel sorry for the succubus that spawned you!
Guardian1
09-26-07, 03:34 PM 46: (re: a minotaur opponent) Beef...it's what's for dinner!

53. Either that or "Hey, Cowhead! MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hrefna
09-26-07, 04:23 PM our hafling rogue used to shout:
"pockets! I hear pockets jingling our way! let us go search the pockets!!
Ecalsneerg
09-26-07, 04:26 PM "EAT MY TWO WEAPON FIGHTING!"
Makuya
09-26-07, 05:05 PM 56. Best used in a one-on-one:

"Two warriors enter. One warrior leaves, and it won't be you."
donut159
09-26-07, 11:42 PM (If your a necromancer) I'm going to make you corpse do very silly things *evil grin*
Pippa
09-27-07, 04:23 PM We played an arena battle once where we squared off against a pair of Dwarven barbarians. My character yelled at them: "Who knew GNOMES could be so angry?".Actually when our party's elf wanted to taunt me (the gnome), she'd call me dwarf.

58. "Boy are we lucky those [dwarves, probably] are standing down wind!"
59. "My, you're so ugly your face isn't good enough to chop wood on!"

BTW, how come no-one made any 'compensating?' jokes for the big weapon wielding opponents yet?
Colvast
09-27-07, 06:38 PM Since we're not getting enough Holy Grail references,

60. Go and boil your bottoms, sons/daughters of a silly person!
61. I blow my nose at you!
ArgulFraster
09-27-07, 08:22 PM I ran "Your face is silly!" through Babelfish about five times, and got back:

"That opposition is foolish!"

Not very funny...lemme find summat better.
Ran "I will shred your face!" through Korean and back and got:

"Me the heap which will change your face will tear!"

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
schpeelah 09-10-07, 02:27 PM	What the title says. Post best and worst insults PC's hurl at enemies and vice versa.
Meshakhad 09-10-07, 02:42 PM	1. "For [insert name of deity here]!"
gullas 09-10-07, 02:48 PM	2. I've seen your mom ..... naked:evillaugh
RobbyPants 09-10-07, 02:56 PM	3) You fight like a bard!
Heros_Backpack 09-10-07, 03:03 PM	4) "You couldn't even cut ice with a flaming sword!" 5) "Ah, cutie, did Mumsie lend you her toothpick?"
LazyWarg 09-10-07, 03:19 PM	We played an arena battle once where we squared off against a pair of Dwarven barbarians. My character yelled at them: "Who knew GNOMES could be so angry?".
IRememberCecil 09-10-07, 03:24 PM	7. "Because of me, that it has come here for the sake of it can kill!" It was originally "Come here so I can kill you!" which I then raped with Babelfish... twice.
DarkflameX 09-10-07, 03:37 PM	i got the insult from an npc in elderscrolls oblivion "You move like a pregnant cow!"
Korone 09-10-07, 03:41 PM	9. To throw your filthy celestial corpse back in the light of destruction ! 10. You know you'll cry if I hit you ? 11. What the heck are you trying to do ? To hurt me ?
T_Stalker 09-10-07, 03:44 PM	12. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smells like elder berries!"
adamb0nd 09-10-07, 03:46 PM	12) "Die Goblins!" The goblins in one of the games I played in yelled this on the battle field. They didn't know common, but their enemies seemed to use it often, so they thought it must be frieghtening.
Return of the Flumph 09-10-07, 04:58 PM	12) "Die Goblins!" The goblins in one of the games I played in yelled this on the battle field. They didn't know common, but their enemies seemed to use it often, so they thought it must be frieghtening. Okay, that's awesome. 13. "You have an abrupt lesson to learn in the ways of mortality." 14. (when fighting drow) "For every spider you don't squish, I squish three."
Vor 09-10-07, 06:21 PM	14) 10 to 1 thats not fair. Go back and get your boss.
Raynx 09-10-07, 06:43 PM	15) (To Undead) Die!...Again!
KillerGM 09-10-07, 11:46 PM	16. Oldy but goldy: "If you let me strike you down, you'll become stronger than even I can imagine!!"
TheWildKing 09-11-07, 12:07 AM	17. I shall defile your corpse in every way imaginable...and in some ways that aren't!! My friend was famous for saying this in our group, but i think he did it more just to creep the dm out than anything else
HuManBing 09-11-07, 10:23 AM	18. If you run, you're only going to die tired. 19. I hope you weren't a procrastinator. You just ran out of tomorrows. 20. When you get to the hereafter, tell them I sent you. You might get a group discount. All these are taken from the video game Blood II.
Fringehead 09-11-07, 12:53 PM	To the horde of raging diseased orcs 21)"Stand back, and we will shoot you with our healing arrows!"
greenlightingman25 09-11-07, 01:00 PM	My friend had a great sword named Kord past down a line of PC barbarians (all with the name of Bob), and they called the sword Kord. "I shall heal you with the power of Kord" as he rages toward the enemy, hasted. That was the greatest one-eyed Bugbear Lawer ever.:D
VulcanStormwrath 09-11-07, 01:04 PM	When I walk out of these tunnels I will be followed by the smell of burning meat. -Sorceror tied up by Orcs I Will Eat Your Children! -Warlock opening the battle in a superstitious town :censored: you, :censored: your horse, :censored: your church and:censored: Pelor. -Hexblade to Paladin in front of his followers
imnotrealyhear 09-11-07, 02:52 PM	drip, drop, il make you flop!
TheMonk 09-11-07, 02:56 PM	FOR THE BUNNIES!!!!!
Lunas_Argent 09-11-07, 03:12 PM	Since I work at Wal-Mart, Im fond of using the phrase "I'll slap you with a shopping cart"
TotallyGenericName 09-11-07, 05:53 PM	(Circling around the battle field) Duck, duck, duck, GOOSE! Bah! You call that fighting? I blow my nose in your general direction! Yo mama so dumb, she spawned you!
TheWildKing 09-11-07, 08:37 PM	Taste steel...AND JUSTICE!!
lunoc 09-11-07, 09:00 PM	all your base are belong to us!! zeekybogiedoog!!! (warlock to his childhood town) oh and remember that game of horseshoes we played back like, 12 years ago?? I WON zap in my campain, there was an npc called jimkabob, he wielded the "magic blender gun" witch blended magic and shot the mess at someone . on that note "ill blend your face!!!" "some people would say that cosing horrible mutilation to the essence of magic just to kill a kobald would be wrong, but my reptilian midget friends, i am not one of them"
navar100 09-12-07, 01:26 AM	2E Dragonlance campaign, the kender said this to the dragon we were fighting: "Your mother was a spell component!"
Genevieve_Evernight 09-12-07, 01:28 AM	41(I counted!): Hah! That's all you got? That didn't even dent my damage reduction!
Disciple_of_Salsa 09-12-07, 01:55 AM	42) Eat My Pants! 43)Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, Feign, Sneak Attack, ect.
Rania 09-12-07, 11:10 AM	44: Yer mom's so ugly, she makes Ted look away!
schpeelah 09-12-07, 01:19 PM	45. (To an elf) Hey, Rabbitears!
Genevieve_Evernight 09-13-07, 04:13 PM	46: (re: a minotaur opponent) Beef...it's what's for dinner!
Zousha_Omenohu 09-13-07, 06:24 PM	47. "FRIGGIN' KOBOLD!"
SeptimusMagistos 09-13-07, 09:23 PM	48.) You shall vanish! Just like a couch! 49.) I can't think of anything clever to say, so I'll just kill you and when I tell the story later, I'll say I used a great quip on you. I'll come up with it in the meantime.
Guardian1 09-25-07, 11:42 PM	50. (To a group of orcs): YOU FIGHT LIKE ELVES!!!! 51. (To demons): COME AND GET US, DEVILS! 52. (To devils): I feel sorry for the succubus that spawned you!
Guardian1 09-26-07, 03:34 PM	46: (re: a minotaur opponent) Beef...it's what's for dinner! 53. Either that or "Hey, Cowhead! MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hrefna 09-26-07, 04:23 PM	our hafling rogue used to shout: "pockets! I hear pockets jingling our way! let us go search the pockets!!
Ecalsneerg 09-26-07, 04:26 PM	"EAT MY TWO WEAPON FIGHTING!"
Makuya 09-26-07, 05:05 PM	56. Best used in a one-on-one: "Two warriors enter. One warrior leaves, and it won't be you."
donut159 09-26-07, 11:42 PM	(If your a necromancer) I'm going to make you corpse do very silly things evil grin
Pippa 09-27-07, 04:23 PM	We played an arena battle once where we squared off against a pair of Dwarven barbarians. My character yelled at them: "Who knew GNOMES could be so angry?".Actually when our party's elf wanted to taunt me (the gnome), she'd call me dwarf. 58. "Boy are we lucky those [dwarves, probably] are standing down wind!" 59. "My, you're so ugly your face isn't good enough to chop wood on!" BTW, how come no-one made any 'compensating?' jokes for the big weapon wielding opponents yet?
Colvast 09-27-07, 06:38 PM	Since we're not getting enough Holy Grail references, 60. Go and boil your bottoms, sons/daughters of a silly person! 61. I blow my nose at you!
ArgulFraster 09-27-07, 08:22 PM	I ran "Your face is silly!" through Babelfish about five times, and got back: "That opposition is foolish!" Not very funny...lemme find summat better. Ran "I will shred your face!" through Korean and back and got: "Me the heap which will change your face will tear!"